


Between Friends

by TornBetweenFriends



Series: Between Friends [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Chris Evans - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Sebastian Stan - Fandom, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Angst, Anxiety, DO NOT STOP READING, Depression, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, No M/M, Panic Attacks, Please Don't Hate Me, Protective Chris, Protective Sebastian, Romance, Smut, This story is gonna hurt but I don't wanna use tags that will give stuff away, Upsetting life events is all I'm gonna say, You might hate me at some point, just trust me, maybe smut, trust me - Freeform, yes smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-15
Updated: 2016-10-22
Packaged: 2018-07-15 04:09:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 89
Words: 176,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7207214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TornBetweenFriends/pseuds/TornBetweenFriends
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Okay, so, I'm combining some real life and fictional stuff here... Some real actor names (because reasons, okay?) and some character names... Also, this is kind of AU, of sorts, since everyone in the story is just kind of regular people with glimpses and hints to their "Avengers" counterparts. That's just the way it has happened to play out in my head. Hope it doesn't make things confusing. Let me know what you think.</p><p>Edited to add:  So sometimes I like to have a mental primer before reading or continuing reading a fic so that I can remember faces more vividly, visualize expressions, hear voices, etc. when I read.  I think the following video fits my story very well; you can see all the varied expressions, their demeanors and how they interact with each other:  https://youtu.be/jNHk1PDU1jQ</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Worry

You looked over at Chris sitting on your couch a slight bit away from you. You had one foot pulled up on the couch, your chin resting on your hands on top of your knee. His face was glowing in the light of the TV in the dark as he stared at it, beer in one hand between his relaxed legs, which he sipped from every few minutes. You felt the knot coming up in your stomach. _'How am I going to say it?'_ , you thought to yourself, feeling your breath quicken.

"I lost my job today.", you blurted out.

He snapped his head to look at you, his eyebrows shot up in surprise, then furrowed in concern. He set his beer on the coffee table in front of you both and turned his body toward you, "What? What happened?", he asks while placing a hand lightly on the back of your arm.

"I-", you let out a heavy sigh. "I wasn't getting enough appointments to make my booth rental and they had to let me go."

The salon you had been doing nails for was suffering a unidentifiable dip in customers over the last several months and you were suffering for it. You had been looking for another job for a 2 months already with no results. You hadn't told your friend that things had been difficult lately because you didn't want to worry him until you were sure things were not going to get better-- and there's no mistake now that they aren't going to. You hadn't told anyone, actually.

His blue eyes seemed to sink even deeper into worry as he searched your face to feel out what to say next, "Oh, sweetheart... Do you need help? What can I do?"

You don't want to ask for or even accept help, but if you don't, you very well could end up homeless. You let out another sigh and put your forehead down on your hands and knee, tears starting to burn behind your (e/c) eyes. "I don't know, Chris. I'm not really sure what to do. I have to give my 30 day notice on my apartment this week... And then I don't know what after that. I have to keep looking for another job for sure. But, I'm not sure it's going to do any good right now; I already used up my savings to supplement what I wasn't making and living from paycheck to paycheck."

If you had been looking at him, you would have seen that his face was twisted up in hurt for what was happening to you. You felt him shift and move closer to you and wrap his arms around you, his cheek coming to rest lightly on your head as you blinked and felt a tear fall onto your leg.

You dropped your folded leg down and turned into Chris's embrace, resting you head against his shoulder. Now holding back the sobs that wanted to burst out of you, you took deep, shaky breaths. The tears couldn't be helped though, they flowed freely down your cheek, seeping into his shirt. Being a grown up was damn scary sometimes.

"You should come live with us.", he murmured softly, stroking your back with a thumb while his hand rested there.

You pulled back to look at him, your hair stuck in his beard and you half chuckled as your swiped a hand over it to release it and he huffed a small laugh. Your eyebrows pulled together in a questioning look while you wiped the tears off your face with flat fingers, "Well-- Don't you think you should talk to Seb before you offer that?"

"Well, it is MY house. I will ask him about it out of consideration since he lives there too, but I really don't see him saying no.", he smiled reassuringly. "We'll talk to him about it when he gets back from his parents'. Now, let's finish our movie." He sat back and pulled you up against his side, arm around your back and his hand resting lazily on your hip.

The anxiety wheels started turning in your head, "But, I don't have any money. I will get a job as soon as I can, even one not in my field.", you started off, your cadence building speed as you went on, "But, I don't know how long that will be and I don't want to be a burd--"

"(Y/N)!" He boomed and then laughed. "It's gonna be fine. Friends help each other. I know you'll do your best to get on your feet again. I don't have any doubt about that."

You half smiled, still feeling like the offer was too much. You whipsered, "Thank you." You were so grateful to have this guy in your corner.

He gave you a squeeze, a quick kiss on the head and a smile, then turned his attention back to the TV. "Shit. We missed a lot.", he mumbled, reaching for the remote. "Gotta rewind it."


	2. Runaway

The next morning was Sunday. Chris had gone home after your movie last night just after 11 PM and shot you a text when he got home to let you know he made it okay.

You opened your eyes to the light of day creeping in and the chatter of birds starting up; the best alarm clock was nature's alarm clock. You stretched out like a starfish in your queen-sized bed, enjoying having the whole thing to yourself. But, then, sometimes you wished you had someone there to snuggle and make breakfast for... Well, maybe the having someone to wake up to (just not in your bed) and make breakfast for was changing soon; two someones actually. The thought brought a smile to your face. You were one of those people who really needed other people around. Even if everyone was doing their own thing, just having other people in the same home helped fend off the feeling of being isolated.

You got out of bed, peed, brushed your teeth, pulled your (h/c) hair into a ponytail and threw on your running clothes. Grabbing a cut avocado half and a hard boiled egg out of the fridge, you peeled the egg, alternating taking bites of it and spooning out chunks of avocado right out of the peel and into your mouth. You checked your phone while you chewed, not expecting to find anything this early, surprised that you actually did. It was a text from Chris that had come through just before you woke up:

_Seb should be home about 4. How bout you come over at quarter to and we'll all grab some dinner after we talk to him?_

You paused, thinking, let out a sigh and then tapped out on the screen:

_Sounds good. I'll see you then!_

You were a little nervous; you really didn't know how things were going to go when you and Chris talked to Sebastian about you moving in. You thought it would probably be just fine, but every critical situation always had you afraid for the worst. Good thing you were going for a run; that would help release some of that stress.

You stepped out of your apartment onto the open balcony and locked the door behind you, putting your keys in your running belt pack. You turned on your running music and put in the earbuds, then walked swiftly to the stairs and galloped down them, already feeling the beat itching your legs to start running. Once you hit the landing you were off into the quiet neighborhood of which your apartment complex sat at the edge of. You jogged past the golf course behind the complex and then onto the residential homes. Some of the neighbors were out watering lawns before the sun got higher or sitting on porches having coffee. You waved as you went by and they waved back; they all saw you on your runs on a regular basis. You didn't know any of them, but it was always nice to be friendly and have some sort of contact with other people.

You let your mind wander about what had already happen and what was to come. Surprisingly, none of it got you worked up or upset. It was probably the affects of the running keeping you even headed. Running was a good time to work out problems because of this... One of the many reasons you loved doing it.

By the time you started thinking about how far you've run, you realized you had gone 2 miles, so you turned around and headed back.

Once you got home and let yourself in, you unhooked your running belt and peeled off all your clothes on the way to the shower. Once you were clean and refreshed, you threw on some sweats and a t-shirt, your wet hair still dripping and leaving a growing wet spot on your shirt back. You grabbed a bottled water from the fridge and sat down with your laptop to begin writing your 30 day notice for your apartment manager. You really didn't know what the future was going to bring, but better to do this sooner rather than later, in the hopes to lower some of the anxiety of your situation. Procrastination was your best talent, but not today.

\-----------

After writing your notice letter, you had settled in on your couch to read a book, ate a sandwich for lunch and then read some more until your eyelids got heavy. You put down the book and dozed off for a while. God, Sundays were great... Nothing to do.

You woke up a couple hours later to your phone buzzing on the coffee table next to you. You cracked an eye open to see the screen lit up. You picked it up and read the incoming text:

_I'm coming home today! Yay! You're gonna be there, right? I've missed you._

It was from Sebastian. You smiled groggily, sitting up and then replied:

_YAY!!! Yes! I'll be there! Missed you too, Sebby!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. My chapters are so short! This is my first fic, so I don't even know what I'm doing, lol. I need more content in my head! Let me know what you think.


	3. How did we get here?

After getting the text from Sebastian, you noticed you had just enough time to do something presentable with your sloppy nap hair, throw on a little makeup and some decent clothes. Once that was done, you drove over to Chris's house.

They lived about a fifteen minute drive away on the East side of the valley. Your apartment was somewhere in the center.

Chris had bought an older, dark brick, bungalow style house about four years ago. It had a large concrete porch with brick half walls in place of railings that also trailed down either side the steps that were positioned in the center. The porch ran the full length of the front of the house and was covered by the roof as if it was a part of the interior. The front yard was just a concrete path from the porch to rhe sidewalk and green grass. A driveway on the left of the house made of two thin parallel concrete trails; like tiny sidewalks with grass wherever there wasn't concrete led just past the back of the house to a concrete slab and then a detached garage. The back yard was small, but green with a fire pit in the middle of the lawn for drinking beers and hanging out at night. A hammock hung between two established trees in the back corner. There was a small, ground level, wooden deck without rails just off the back sunroom of the house, with a small, round, in ground hot tub inside the deck portion that wrapped around the opposite side of the house from where the driveway and garage was. The house had been well taken care of and updated. Sebastian had moved in about two years ago.

You loved the vibe in the neighborhood; chill, friendly, historical, families of all stages and people of all ages. Mature trees lined the streets and occupied spaces in a lot of the yards, offering dense shade for walks and hanging out on porches. There were coffee shops, book and music stores, bakeries, a library, community college, convience and grocery stores nearby, some within walking distance.

You and Chris were sitting at the kitchen table, having coffee, laughing, talking about movies, TV, books and inside jokes. He also talked about sports while you listened and tried not to fall asleep, staring at him, blinking and occasionally nodding, because you didn't really care about sports, but you tried to humor him.

There was a creak, a soft thud and a loud bang from the front of the house followed by a shout, "Honey! I'm home!" Heavy footsteps started to fall on the hardwood floors, working their way from the living and sittng room, through the dining room and towards the kitchen at the back of the house.

"I really wish you'd stop calling me 'honey'.", Chris called out, stood and turned toward the kitchen entrance, shoving his hands in his jean pockets, smiling as Sebastian came into view.

Sebastian snapped back, "I wasn't talkin' to you this time, man.", he tossed his keys on the kitchen island as he continued to move forward.

You had already stood and a huge smile was plastered on your face. When Sebastian spotted you, he walked faster towards you, his face flashing into the biggest smile, "There she is!" You held out your arms and he nearly knocked you over when you collided into a hug. "Hey, doll!" Without skipping a beat, he lifted you off your feet, swinging you back and forth a bit like a rag doll; ironic. Maybe that's why he called you 'doll'. You took a soft breath in through your nose; God, you missed his smell. He planted a strong kiss on your cheek and then set you down, his hands moved to your shoulders and he looked down at you. His face had softened, but the corners of his mouth were still turned up slightly. "Missed you.", he said softly.

"Ditto.", your expression mirrored his own and he gave you a chuck under the chin with a finger.

He finally turned to Chris and gave him a brutal hug, lots of back slapping on both their parts. "Missed you, too.", he smiled, stepping back, giving Chris's shoulder a mellow shake with one hand.

"Good to have you back, bro.", Chris nodded and grinned.

"Have you guys eaten yet? I'm starving.", Sebastian headed past Chris, and around the island to the fridge to forage for something, opening it and sticking his head in.

You had met these two charming men about a year ago through a nail client, Pepper. She had been coming to you for a few months, every two weeks, on Wednesdays at noon, like clockwork, she still does... Or did, until you lost your job yesterday. She always got a pedicure with gel polish. Her boyfriend, Tony, was really successful. He used to be her boss, now they run his company together and share a life. They invent new and better technology on a global level. Chris actually works for Tony's company in software development. Tony took a liking to Chris and they socialize outside of work as well.

Chris and Sebastian have been friends since middle school; they've been through everything together. They drift apart in life sometimes, but always end up at each other's side again.

Sebastian was working at a commercial and residential insurance company as an agent. He made pretty good money, but he wasn't real sure if he wanted to keep going that direction. He and Chris had entertained the idea about Seb possibly working for Tony and getting a degree in computer sciences.

Pepper had come to her appointment one day and invited you to come along with her, Tony and a group of friends to something called 'Cosmic Bowling' that Friday; bowling under black lights and loud dance music.

You didn't have much of a social life, so you accepted. Chris and Sebastian were there. They were both lightly flirtatious with you, in a friendly way; Seb a bit more than Chris. They each even bought you a beer or two. You became fast friends and now they're your best friends.

Chris pressed his lips together for a quick moment, "Uh, Seb?"

"Yeah?" From Sebastian's muffled response, you could tell he had already shoved something in his mouth and you could hear him rifling through containers and bags to find something more, his head still in the fridge.

"Before dinner," Chris's tone lowered, "we need to talk."

Sebastian straightened slowly and leaned back slightly from behind the door so you both could see his face. His forehead was wrinkled up in surprise, his mouth was full of food and though his lips were pressed closed, his jaw was wide open, mid chew. His eyes were darting back and forth between you and Chris. "Okay.", he mumbled through his food, looking worried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this chapter is a little better!


	4. The Good News Or The Bad News?

Sebastian finished chewing and swallowing his mouthful of food as he rounded the island and leaned his backside against it, facing you and Chris, his arms folded, crossing one ankle over the other and his face hardened, "What's up?" He really couldn't help but feel a little nervous at Chris's tone and he could tell you had suddenly become uneasy.

"(Y/N) lost her job yesterday.", Chris said.

Sebastian's eyebrows raised in surprise and his gaze shot to you, "Wow." You had pressed your lips together, watching his face and waiting for Chris to speak again.

Chris continued and Sebastian's head turned to Chris again at the sound of his voice, but his eyes stayed focused on you for another beat, out of concern and trying to read your face for any signs of distress. His stare flitted back to Chris, "She's been struggling for a few months and has used up everything to try to stay above water, but now that's all gone and so is her job."

Sebastian turned to look at you, jutting his head forward just a tad in disbelief and worry as his eyebrows furrowed. You felt your eyes starting to tear up; you hated making your friends worry and felt the guilt creeping in. _'Just get it out already, Chris!'_ , you silently begged in your head.

When Sebastian saw your eyes getting wet, he went to you immediately and wrapped his arms around you. He squeezed so tight that you thought he might crush you. He rested his chin on your head as he made eye contact with Chris again as he continued, "I told her she should live with us and we could help her out until she finds work again, but I do need to ask you since this is your home too.", Chris finished and tilted his head, waiting for a response.

"Yeah, of course... Of course!", Sebastian squeezed you again, kissing your head, still holding you. "Were you afraid I wasn't gonna be on board with this? Why didn't you tell us sooner?", he said softly against your hair.

"Well, yes--ish. No, not really, but I always freak out over major stuff like this. Business has been slow, couldn't make booth rental, so bye-bye job.", you looked up at Seb, continuing, "The worst part was not wanting to worry you both, hoping things would get better."

"Ah, geez. Just like you to worry about others while you're going through shit. Look, I say you stay as long as you need and I can totally help you out financially, too. We'll take care of you. Don't worry, doll." He glanced at Chris, who nodded in agreement, and then he gave you one more squeeze for good measure before releasing you. "Okay, can we eat now? I can feel myself getting thinner by the second.", he krinkled his nose up, lips pursed together, smacking a hand on his stomach and rubbing it.

Chris laughed, "Yeah, man. Let's go." He turned to walk, but paused and glanced at you, shifting his weight back when he heard you speak.

"Seb?", you asked quietly as Sebastian turned away.

Hearing your voice, he turned back, took a step back to where he had been right next to you, sliding his other foot in playfully to meet it and bent over slghtly to look into your eyes. "Hm?", he smiled softly at you.

"Thank you."

He kissed your temple, "Of course."

You all started for the front door and once there, Sebastian remembered that he left his bag and suitcase there. "Oh, shit. Let me go put these in my room.", he huffed out as he hefted up the big suitcase in one hand and the small duffle bag in the other. He moved swiftly back to the kitchen, out of sight and down the basement stairs where his room was.

"I told you.", Chris smirked at you, putting an arm around your shoulder and squeezing you into his side for a moment and then letting go, putting his hand back in his pocket.

"Told me what?", you looked at him blankly.

"I knew he'd be fine with it."

"Oh. Yeah, I think I knew deep down he would be too. It's just those worry demons always get to me." You gave a crossed eyed face with your tongue hanging out of the side of your mouth, gesturing towards your head with an open hand.

Chris chuckled, "Yeah, I get it."

You heard Sebastian coming back through the house and the slide of his keys against the island as he swiped them up and shoved them in his pocket. "FOOOOOOD!", he shouted, rubbing his palms together in anticipation. "I'll drive, my car's blocking. So, where we going?", he slung an arm around your shoulders, looked down at you and flashed you a smile.

Your face lit up as you opened your mouth, looking at Chris. But you stopped and your expression fell when you rememebered that you no longer had a job and definitely didn't have enough money for your favorite cuisine. Chris titled his head at you and Sebastian frowned and narrowed his eyes, waiting for you to speak.

"Never mind.", you muttered. "I can't afford it."

One side of Chris's mouth pulled up in a slight smile and he cocked and eyebrow, "Sweetheart, you really think we're gonna let you pay?"

"Well, it's just that--"

"Stooop.", he cut you off, tilted his head back and to the side in playful annoyance and Sebastian nodded in agreement.

They both looked at each other knowingly, then, in unison, they said, "Sushi."

Your face lit up with a huge grin and Chris waved an arm, "Come on! Let's go get fish-faced!"

Sebastian threw his head back and you both laughed loudly as Chris chuckled at his own joke.

You all filed out the door and Chris locked it, Sebastian's arm still around you as you walked down the steps, Chris just behind you. Sebastian pulled you closer to him with his arm gently around your neck and said, "You're gonna have to deal with me glued to your side for a bit; I really did miss you."

"I think-- yeah. Yeah, you mentioned that before.", you smirked elbowing him in the side. "A couple of times."

"Well, I did!", he scoffed and released you, opening the passenger door to let you in. "And telling you again and again might help you to understand just how much.", he closed the door after you were safely inside.

Chris let himself into the back seat and clapped his hands on your shoulders from behind your seat and gave them a squeeze as you let out a squeak and tried to get your seatbelt pulled over you. "I'm so excited!", he let out an adorable chuckle, "You're gonna live with us!"

You placed a hand on one of his and smiled over your shoulder, "I know! Me too."

Sebastian had walked around to the driver's side, slid in, shut his door, slipped the key in the ignition and turned it, all in one fluid series of motions. You gave his hand a quick squeeze and flashed him a smile, "I missed you too." He smiled back, his beautiful blue eyes wrinkling up at the corners.

You put your hand back in your lap and Seb shifted into reverse, backed out of the driveway and headed down the street.

You let out a contented sigh. Your boys. You really loved them and now you were going to live with them. You closed your eyes and smiled; feeling more secure already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel a bit disappointed that my chapters aren't longer, but I just get so anxious to post! Well, anyhow, hope you're enjoying.
> 
> Would you guys rather have longer chapters or more frequent updates?
> 
> Working on the next chapter now, but it doesn't feel finished, so I have more to do on it.  
> \---  
> Okay, so, all the work I've done on the next chapter isn't working, so I'm going to start over and it might be a while until another update.


	5. What It Is

On the way to the sushi restaurant, Sebastian's phone rang in his pocket. At first he looked like he was just going to let it ring, then he quickly fished it out of his pocket while driving, "Shit! I forgot to call my mom when I got in! (Y/N), can you please answer that and put it on speaker?"

"You're in trouble, dude.", Chris chuckled from the back seat.

Sebastian had already handed you his phone. He started to reply to Chris's comment, but you had already answered the phone.

"Shut--mm, Hello?", he said, cautiously, shooting Chris a playful narrow eyed glare through the rear view mirror.

Chris grinned, wrinkling up his nose and nodding in a silent 'that's right' as you heard a sweet female voice on the other end of the line, speaking Romanian and you're pretty sure she said Seb's name in there somewhere. You had to stifle a laugh after seeing Chris's expression.

Sebastian was stifling a laugh himself while he replied, also in Romanian for a good ten seconds, sounding apologetic towards the end.

You had reached the sushi place while they were still talking so Sebastian had parked the car and turned it off. He took a breath to talk as he gently took the phone from your hand, but she started up again before he got anything out.

Over the course of their conversation, you heard Sebastian say yours and Chris's names and several moments later, you heard her say his name in a calm, but scolding tone, to which Chris shot Seb a look in the rear view mirror, his eyebrows high and his mouth in an O as if to say 'Ooooh, you're in for it now!' Sebastian even winked at you at one point while he spoke, which made you blush and your stomach flutter. His head was tilted to one side, listening, but his eyes were moving around casually to look at different things as she replied. She sounded sweet again and they exchanged a few more short phrases and you assumed they both had said their goodbyes because Sebastian ended the call. He widened his eyes in an overwhelmed expression and then let out a huff and a chuckle.

"What was that all about?", you giggled.

Chris had already exited the back seat and was opening your door. You climbed out, he shut the door and offered him your arm, "My lady?", he said beaming at you. The corners of your mouth pulled up softly and you krinkled your nose at him cutely while you hooked your hand over his forearm and he placed a his other hand over yours. As you walked, Sebastian fell in step to your other side, his hands in his pants pockets.

"Well,", Sebastian started, turning to you, "she asked me when I was gonna marry you."

"What?!", Chris shrieked and laughed so hard he was doubling over as he walked, making your jerk over slightly since you had his arm, which made you let out a distressed squeak, then you started to giggle and Chris straightened at your surprised sounding noise, "Oh, haha, sorry." He softly bumped his head with yours to punctuate his apology.

Sebastian was laughing too now, "I asked her why would I marry you and she got really mad and started defending your honor. I guess she assumed we had a physical relationship. I had to explain to her that we were just friends. Then she couldn't understand how I could be just friends with such a sweet girl that I spend so much time with. I agreed that you were very sweet, but that we just weren't in that kind of place."

You glanced at him, "We've never met or even spoken. Why does she say I'm sweet?"

"Because I've told her. I talk about you", Sebastian's mouth turned up slightly.

"Aww. Thanks.", you put your hand around his back to his waist and pull him closer for a little side-bump hug. 

When you all reached the door, Sebastian opened it for you and Chris, following in after.

You have to admit, the relationship between the three of you is pretty difficult concept to grasp for a lot of people. The only ones who really understand is your extended circle of friends outside of the three of you. They have all been around to watch it develop, from the ground up, so it's never really been a mystery to them. You just all love each other, you're friends and that's all it's ever needed to be defined as for each of you.

There are times when one or more of you dates or is seeing someone. Once things get serious and exclusive with someone, usually after a couple dates, the affections being taken from and received by whoever is spoken for mellows out to what most plutonic friends share. It can leave a bit of longing for the comfort of having them nearer, but you all respect that you aren't one big symbiotic mass, as much as it feels that way most of the time, and that you each have your own lives.

Right now, none of you were attached and it was such good timing because you needed them both so much right now with all this crap going on; to hold you when you got panicked, or to talk to or to buy you sushi... And damn, was it good sushi.


	6. Oh, What A Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End of last chapter refresher:
> 
> Right now, none of you were attached and it was such good timing because you needed them both so much right now with all this crap going on; to hold you when you got panicked, or to talk to or to buy you sushi... And damn, was it good sushi.

Nearly a week later, you were all moved in with the guys and started unpacking. You had turned in your notice on Monday and started packing up immediately. You did most of it by yourself since the guys had to work during the days. In the evenings, they would bring dinner, come help with some of the packing and take whatever they could in their cars to the house. You did the same. Your friend, Natasha, who you also met that night bowling when you met the guys, came to help you on one of her days off during the week. You drank a lot of coffee and talked probably more than you packed, but it was so nice to have her around during the transition. The move all went pretty fast though, you didn't own a lot of stuff; you really couldn't since your apartment was damn near the size of a shoe box. You took your living room furniture, tiny kitchen table and 2 chairs into a storage unit with a rented trailer, both of which Chris paid for. The guys definitely had to help with that; no way you were getting that huge stuff down the stairs alone or with Natasha. It was a good thing you didn't have much since you were only getting a bedroom for yourself at the house.

Chris moved his office out of the second bedroom upstairs and into the sunroom at the back of the house, just past the kitchen. If you entered the kitchen from the front of the house, Chris's room and what was now your room was on the left with a separate bathroom between the two. The stairs leading down to the family room, Sebastian's room, another bathroom and the laundry room were in the far right corner of the kitchen.

Early in the week, you had already started clucking about finding a job while moving. Chris had told you to stop overwhelming yourself and just focus on the move that week. His reassurance was what you had needed in order to give yourself permission to handle everything at a comfortable pace.

Come Saturday morning, you woke up to the sound of the shower turning on on the other side of the wall. 'Chris is up.', you thought to yourself in a groggy haze. You looked at your phone of the bedside table; 7:35. "What the crap is he doing up so early?", you grumbled to yourself as you sat yourself up in a very sleepy manner, scratching your head and then swirling your hair against you head with your hand a bit.

It was then that you had noticed you were still fully dressed, sans shoes, which were on the floor next to your bed; a blanket had covered you as you slept on your made bed. Then you remembered how you ended up that way.

You all had some friends over last night as a kind of "Welcome Home" party for you moving in. Tony and Pepper came, Thor and Jane, Natasha and Bruce, Clint and Laura, Maria came, and Sam showed as well. There were snacks and beers; lots of beers. And later, some people did shots while hanging out in the kitchen.

You were among those shot takers, so was Seb; he'd probably be out for a while this morning as you had only had one, but he more than that... A few more, but you weren't exactly sure how many. You were too busy giggling and being sweet to everyone to notice. He kept wanting to give you piggy back rides everywhere you went in the house and yard and wouldn't stop telling you how pretty you are. You told him he was pretty too and gave him an eskimo kiss while giggling. (You giggled a lot that night.) Of course, that made him laugh and he hugged you up into his arms.

"Oh!", you cried. "Seb! I gotta pee!"

Your feet were dangling as he spun around and started toward the bathroom, "Pee-Pee Dolly coming through!", he announced loudly, weaving around a few people as they all laughed. He really did find a satisfying amusement in treating you like an actual doll, reminding you just how small you were and how he towered over you. You suspected he did it as a protective gesture also. He set you down in the bathroom and gave you wink as he backed out and shut the door. "I'll wait for you right outside the door, kay?"

The fire had been lit in the back yard a little while after everyone showed up and a bunch of yard chairs sat around it. Thor had fallen asleep in the hammock after only a couple beers; poor guy had worked way too many hours during the week.

You fondly remembered that at some point during the evening, when Chris noticed you had drank enough to start walking a bit like a newborn baby giraffe, he pulled you onto his lap while he sat around the fire. Everyone else was sitting around the fire too. Well, most everyone, less Thor since he was snoring in the hammock still and Bruce and Tony had been inside talking about jiggawatts or something while Pepper watched them. Occasionally, she looked off into space like she was having an internal dialogue.

"C'mere, hon." Chris grunted a little as he sat up in his chair and gently grabbed your waist with both hands and pulled you down when you passed in front of him and wobbled a bit. You squeaked and plopped down on his lap hard and he let out an 'oof'. You weren't heavy, but your muscles had had no interest in slowing the momentum of your descent.

"Oh my God!", you exclaimed as Chris slid an arm under your knees and swung your legs to one side, over the arm of the chair, then he sat back again. "Did you see that?! I almost died!"

Everyone laughed in a dull roar.

Chris chuckled, "No, sweetie, you didn't almost die. You are getting a little tipsy though. I think you need to sit down and take a break."

Feeling a bit drowsy, you didn't argue. Chris wrapped his arms around you and you rested your head on his chest. "You saved me from dying. You're my hero.", you mumbled and closed your eyes.

Chris huffed out a breath of a silent laugh and kissed your head. "Just rest for a bit.", he whispered.

Sebastian watched the two of you and a hint of a smile found its way to his face and then someone in the circle caught his attention when they spoke.

Chris entered the conversation with everyone again as he gently rubbed small circles on your arm with his fingertips while his other hand held his beer again and helped him talk, waving all over the place, gesturing.

Even through the noise of everyone laughing and talking around you, the warmth from the fire and Chris, along with the scent of beer and his usual cologne, made you feel relaxed and secure. The rumble of his voice through his chest and his steady heartbeat quickly lulled you into a sleep that couldn't be fought off.

"Aww.", Jane cooed, "She's asleep."

"So's your lumberjack over there.", Sam jabbed a thumb in the direction behind him. "Sawing logs like he's building a city of cabins."

By now, Thor's head and one of his legs was hanging off the hammock.

"Well, I guess I should get him home.", sighed Jane. "God I hope I can wake him up. There's no way I can carry or even drag him to the car and into the house."

It was a little hard to recall, but you vaguely remember Chris carrying you from his chair to your bed and him pulling off your shoes.

He pulled the blanket that was folded at the foot of the bed over you and sat on the bed next to you and stroked your hair twice, "How ya doin', sweetheart?"

"I'm good, Hero."

He chuckled and got up, grabbing the trash can from next to you desk and set it next to your bed. "I'm putting this trash can by your bed in case you need to hork, okay?"

You gave a thumbs up, eyes closed.

He leaned over and placed a hand lightly against the side of your head and kissed your forehead as you heard another pair of feet come into the room, "G'nite, hon, see you in the morning.", Chris said softly.

Sebastian kneeled down next to your bed and put his head on your shoulder, placing a hand on your arm, "I think you over did it, babe. I'm watching you like a hawk next time."

"No, you.", was all you said, to imply he over did it, not you. He laughed as you turned your head towards him and your lips found his forehead and gave it a loud smack.

"Goodnight, Dolly.", he murmered, referencing his earlier shenannigans and he stood.

They both started out of room and you mumbled, "Nite, Sebby. Nite, Chris."

"G'nite, sweetie.", Chris said as he turned out the light and closed the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think my chapters are getting longer, yay!
> 
> You all still out there reading this? Shoot me a comment and let me know what you think.
> 
> Thanks for all the kudos!


	7. In The Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> End of last chapter refresher:
> 
> Sebastian kneeled down next to your bed and put his head on your shoulder, placing a hand on your arm, "I think you over did it, babe. I'm watching you like a hawk next time."
> 
> "No, you.", was all you said, to imply he over did it, not you. He laughed as you turned your head towards him and your lips found his forehead and gave it a loud smack.
> 
> "Goodnight, Dolly.", he murmered, referencing his earlier shenannigans and he stood.
> 
> They both started out of room and you mumbled, "Nite, Sebby. Nite, Chris."
> 
> "G'nite, sweetie.", Chris said as he turned out the light and closed the door.

The sound of the shower shutting off snapped you back to the present. You stood and stretched and surprisingly, it made you feel more weak and tired. You trudged your way through the kitchen, then the dining room and into the front of the house, which was one long room, but the spaces were seperated into different functions.

To your left was a sitting space with built in, shoulder height bookshelves and big comfy chairs and some lamps on small tables; perfect place for reading or talking. To your right was a couch and love seat set in an L shape and a modest sized TV set on the diagonal in the corner next to the fireplace and opposite the furniture set up so that you could see the TV wherever you sat. A big, square, coffee table sat in the middle of everything there.

You rounded the loveseat, grabbed the afghan off the back and plopped on the couch, spread the afghan over your lap, switched on the TV and found that Winnie the Pooh was on; your favorite cartoon. You tugged your sweatshirt hood over your head, most of your (h/c) strands hanging out, you curled your legs up to one side, folded your arms and leaned on the couch arm to the other side. Your eyes kept wanting to shut.

You heard footsteps approaching from the kitchen. Once they sounded like they reached the room, you turned your head just enough to look up see Sebastian's crazy bed head peaking at you from around the wall. He was blinking slowly. "Want coffee, Doll?"

"Ehnm--", you paused only for a second. You usually like to put food in your stomach first, but a warm cup of liquid sounded nice right now. "Yes, please." You smiled. He winked lazily at you and padded back toward the kitchen.

You heard cups clanking, the fridge open and close, the coffee pot being taken out and put back in the coffee maker and both the guys talking to each other, but you couldn't make out what they were saying.

Chris came through and made his way around to you and bent to give you hurried kiss on the head before straightening again. "How'd you sleep, hon?"

"Like the dead.", you smirked. "Probably the best sleep I've had in a while."

Chris chuckled, "Did you get sick?"

"No, thank God. I probably would have if you hadn't given me a drinking time out. Thank you.", you gave him an appreciative smile.

Another chuckle, "I'm glad you didn't." His eyes turned soft and the corners of his mouth pulled up subtley, "And I'll always take care of you." You felt your heart quicken for a beat and your expression instinctively matched his. His tone lightened a hint, "I'm gonna grab some breakfast, whadda you want?"

"Where from?"

"Micky's"

You scrunched your nose in thought, "Just eggs, thank you."

"You got it.", he turned and headed out the door.

Sebastian reappeared with two coffee cups and made his way to you, setting the cups on the coffee table and then promptly plopping onto the couch, laying himself against your side and curling his arms around your waist, trapping you.

"Enh!", you whined, trying to escape his weight and reach for your cup. "Seb! Coffee!"

"The coffee toll is being my pillow until Pooh is over.", he mumbled sleepily, staring at the yellow bear on the TV. "Why doesn't he wear pants?"

"What are you even doing up? You drank way more than me.", you scoffed.

"I have no idea.", he grunted and sat up, then handed you your coffee. "Your favorite creamer; I bought it yesterday.", he smiled softly, picking up his own cup and taking a drink.

You sat up, pulled your hood off your head, cupped the mug in both hands and held it under your nose, drawing in a long sniff, "Mmmm, amaretto. Thank you." You took a sip and smiled, laying your head on his shoulder. He kissed your head and his lips lingered longer than they ever had, like he started a kiss and then forgot what we has doing.

"You fall asleep up there?", you asked.

"Nope.", he mumbled against your head and then broke the contact of his mouth, "Your hair just smells really good."

You felt a stirring inside you and closed your eyes and hooked your hand over his arm as they both were resting on his knees. You didn't really have anything to say to that, so you just said what you felt with your actions. Actually you did have something to say, "I really missed your smell while you were gone last week.", you murmured softly.

You still had your eyes closed. The only movement you sensed from him was a slow, deep breath, then he rested his cheek on the top of your head for a long moment and placed a hand over yours.

The two of you just sat together like that, watching cartoons in silence and sipping your coffee until Chris got back.

You all headed to the kitchen, Sebastian flipping the TV off as he passed it.

Chris set the bag of food on the island and divvied it up, "Seb; eggs, pancakes and bacon."

"Thanks, man.", Sebastian gave Chris a pat on the back and headed to the table. 

"No problem, Bro. (Y/N); eggs," Chris pulled something else out of a grocery bag, "and an avocado."

"Aw, you didn't have to get this. Thank you!" You loved avocado and eggs together.

You got up on your toes and kissed his cheek, trying to grab the avocado, but he hid it behind his back. "Go start on your eggs and I'll cut this for you.", he smiled down at you.

You took your eggs and coffee to the small round table and took your usual place next to Sebastian and gave him a scrunched nose grin. He grinned right back as well as he could with stuffed cheeks. He was nearly already half done.

"Geez, are you even tasting it?", you inquired with a cocked eyebrow.

He chuckled between bites, "Yes."

You realized Chris hadn't even had any coffee yet and that you and Sebastian could use a refill, so you grabbed yours and Seb's cups, then you got up and headed to the coffee maker

"Hey!", Seb grabbed after his cup, but was too slow. "Where you goin'?", he asked, "You need to eat."

"I'm getting coffee for everybody."

Chris headed to the table with his own food and your avocado on a plate, "Hon, I can get it.", he set everything down and took a step away from the table.

"Sit!", you barked. "You've done enough. I got it."

He sat at his spot across from Sebastian and they looked at each other wide-eyed with surprise at your loud command.

"Wow. Yes ma'am.", Chris was nearly whispering and then the guys both laughed.

You smiled over your shoulder and got Chris a cup out of the cupboard, poured more creamer in your own cup and then filled them all. You carried them all to the table and gave them to their rightful owners. You sat, with the guys on either side of you and finally ate.

After you all were finished, you sat around drinking more coffee and talking about what each of you might do that day or maybe what you could all do together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a short chapter, but I am hella tired tonight.
> 
> Hope this chapter is still enjoyable.
> 
> Comments and kudos are appreciated and helpful.
> 
> Hugs and love!


	8. What It Will Be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter refresher:
> 
> You smiled over your shoulder and got Chris a cup out of the cupboard, poured more creamer in your own cup and then filled them all. You carried them all to the table and gave them to their rightful owners. You sat, with the guys on either side of you and finally ate.
> 
> After you all were finished, you sat around drinking more coffee and talking about what each of you might do that day or maybe what you could all do together.

While talking with the guys about what to do that day, you mentioned going out to find a job. Salons were open on Saturdays after all.

Sebastian glanced at Chris to see that he had the same discontented expression as himself so he took that queue to start, "Listen, (Y/N), when Chris said take this week to focus on the move, that meant the whole week. You didn't start moving until Monday. So take the weekend to relax. You spent all week worrying over that move and working hard in order to move." He took a drink from his coffee cup.

Chris nodded and put a hand over yours, "Give yourself a break, you deserve it."

You smiled hesistantly and opened your mouth to speak, but let out a sigh.

Sebastian ducked his head a little lower in anticipation, his eyes narrowed, "What?"

"You guys have already done so much for me.", you rubbed your thumb over the smooth porcelain of your coffee mug, staring at it as both your hands surrounded it now on the table in front of you. "You let me live here. You're paying for everything... I just-- I just really feel like a leech right now. I mean, I know you guys keep reassuring me that everything's fine. But, I just can't help feeling like I'm taking advantage and it's making me feel guilty."

They both furrowed their brows at you, Sebastian gently took your hand away from your cup and held it, softly rubbing a thumb over your knuckles in silent reassurance at the same time that Chris got up and crouched down next to your chair. He looked up at you with those bright blue eyes, concern clouding them slightly, "Sweetheart, look at me.", he said so softly, placing a light hand on your back, while his other arm, bent at the elbow, rested on the table for balance.

You turned your head slightly and your eyes trailed to his, your mouth hitched to one side with worry and doubt. You could feel the tears trying to push their way out from behind your eyes, but you willed them not to.

"You have _got_ to stop doing this to yourself.", his voice was low, his face telling how badly he was starting to feel that their generosity was causing you stress. "It's not healthy."

You nodded and broke the eye contact looking at your coffee mug again. Sebastian still hadn't let go of your hand as he spoke up, "Just the weekend, okay? Everyone deserves some time for themselves and you are no exception." You looked at him, still not convinced, and he continued, staring into your eyes so intensely, "You really, _really, REALLY_ aren't a burden. We are SO happy to have you here and to help you. We care so much about you. So basically, we're paying, very happily paying,", he emphasized, "to have our little ray of sunshine around all the time. And honey,", he shook his head playfully and smirked, "I'd throw money at it all day, every day, if that's what it took to always have you around."

That got a little smile out of you and you felt Chris rubbing your back in support of what Sebastian had said and he was nodding, even though you couldn't see him on your other side at the moment.

"There she is.", Sebastian smiled appreciatively at your change of expression. "Just the weekend, okay?" His brows pulled up in the center, his forehead wrinkling in concern, hoping his words actually convinced you for good this time.

"Okay.", you replied softly, the corners of your mouth turning up a little more. You were trying, really trying, to be okay with all this, but you had taken care of yourself for so long that it just really ate at you to feel like your weren't pulling your weight. You had picked up on the stress it was causing them that it was bothering you and that made things worse... And you knew they weren't going to stop taking care of you, so you were really trying to be okay.

Sebastian nodded, though he wasn't convinced that he had gotten through to you completely, he was pretty sure it just needed to sink in for a little bit. He got up, coffee cup in hand and as he did, he put a light hand on the back of your neck to pull you closer just a tiny bit and he kissed your forehead. "It's gonna be okay, doll." His hand was now at your cheek and his thumb softly stroking it a couple times. "I'm gonna go mow the yard." He rinsed his cup and put it in the dishwasher and disappeared downstairs to change out of the pajama pants and t-shirt he'd slept in.

Chris had given your back a few more strokes before he stood and took his cup to the sink, shadowing what Sebastian had done a moment earlier as you sat at the table still, staring out the glass walls of the sunroom into the back yard, trying to get your thoughts under control. You hadn't quite finished unpacking, maybe you'd do that today.

Chris made his way back to you as you got up off your chair to clear your cup as well. He stopped next to you as you turned, so he was then standing right in front of you, studying your face for a moment, his face almost void of expression as he clenched his jaw. He knew you weren't okay yet. He pulled you into a hug, gently, slowly. He surrounded you completely with his arms and rested his cheek on your head as you pulled your own arms in against yourself, your cheek resting against his chest... There's that strong heartbeat again. God, it made you feel so safe. "Everything is okay and will be okay, (Y/N).", he whispered and you found yourself fighting tears again. "Please... Please trust me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know you all are still out there! Comments keep me going!
> 
> I was really hoping to get more into this chapter tonight. Tomorrow I'm preparing for vacation and then will be gone for 3 days, so I likely won't be updating. I may still be writing in the evenings before bed, but can't be sure... So I wanted to leave you with more to read. Sorry!
> 
> Maybe this video I came across today of Seb at the gym will help you forgive me?
> 
> https://youtu.be/bxuim-KC_E8
> 
> He's so fackin' adorable. I could (and almost did) watch it all day.
> 
> I don't know if you all have noticed, but he says "look" and "listen" often when he talks (he does in that video!) and I've included that about him in my story! ;)
> 
> Let me know what you think!
> 
> Hugs and love!


	9. Slow Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! You get another chapter before I go on vacation! Sorry it's not longer, I gotta get up at the butt-crack a' dawn tomorrow.
> 
> Refresher:
> 
> Chris made his way back to you as you got up off your chair to clear your cup as well. He stopped next to you as you turned, so he was then standing right in front of you, studying your face for a moment, his face almost void of expression as he clenched his jaw. He knew you weren't okay yet. He pulled you into a hug, gently, slowly. He surrounded you completely with his arms and rested his cheek on your head as you pulled your own arms in against yourself, your cheek resting against his chest... There's that strong heartbeat again. God, it made you feel so safe. "Everything is okay and will be okay, (Y/N).", he whispered and you found yourself fighting tears again. "Please... Please trust me."

You took a shower, put on tank top and jean capris and spent only about 5 minutes unpacking. There wasn't much left and definitely nothing important. It could be done another time. What the guys had said to you was only starting to sink in, but even if only a little, it helped in this moment; just relax. Everything is okay and will be okay.

You felt a bit lighter in mind sitting on the edge of your bed, just exsisting for a moment and appreciating all the light coming through the bedroom windows, making your room bright and happy. Chris decided to settle in the sitting room to read. Sebastian was still outside mowing.

Having gotten up so early was already catching up to you, inciting a yawn. You layed on your bed and pulled a blanket over you and closed your eyes, the rumble of the slightly distant lawn mower in the front yard was surprisingly comforting. You hadn't had your eyes closed for more than a minute before you fell asleep.

You only half awoke some time later when the bed dipped behind you and you felt a warm body settle against your back. You turned your head just enough to see that it was Sebastian.

"Hey...", he whispered, wrapping a strong arm around your waist. "Go back to sleep, doll."

You turned your head foward again and relaxed, falling back towards sleep quickly. "I hope you showered.", you said flatly, knowing how sweaty and gross yard work can make a person. "Why aren't you napping in your bed?"

He chuckled softly and continued, his voice low, "I showered. The A/C makes the basement really cold and my bed doesn't have a pretty girl in it. Now go back to sleep, I need a nap too." He nuzzled your hair and gave you a gentle squeeze as you reached your hand behind you and placed it on the back of his head affectionately for a moment before letting it fall back in its place, draped over your side.

There was something strangely fimiliar about being like this with Sebastian. Safe, secure... and familiar. Sebastian was one of those people that made you feel like you've known each other all your life... Or maybe in another life.

You now drifted of again even more quickly than the last time.

Earlier, Chris had come to ask you if you wanted lunch, finding your door open a few inches and you sleeping. He figured he should let you sleep since he was sure you hadn't gotten enough last night. He and Sebastian ate lunch and then Chris headed out for a run at the city park with Sam, leaving Sebastian to take a shower.

The next time you woke up it was because you had to whiz like a race horse. When you shifted and started for the edge of the bed, Sebastian pulled you back against him effortlessly, in his sleep, no less, as he groaned disapprovingly of your attempted escape.

"Seb,", you said quietly, "I gotta pee."

He released you and opened one eye, "You've been saying that a lot lately.", he mumbled.

"It's what I do.", you replied as you got up and almost sprinted for the bathroom as he let out a huff of a laugh.

You got into the bathroom and shut the door. The clock on the wall indicated that you had layed down few hours ago. The house was really quiet and you started to wonder where Chris was.

When you came out of the bathroom, you peeked through the small opening of Chris's door; he was passed out napping on his bed, spread-eagle with one hand shoved behind his head, underneath his pillow, wearing nothing but track pants.

When he got home from his run, he had found Sebastian and you sleeping, so he took a quick post run shower and layed down himself; might as well.

Sebastian appeared from your room smoothing his crazy hair with a hand as he headed for the fridge, looking at the clock on the stove. He grabbed a bottled water for each of you and handed you one, "You were out for a while, dear."

You cracked open your water, "Ugh, I know. I really shouldn't have gotten up so early." You chugged nearly half your water in one go; God, you were so thirsty!

"I'm glad you did. That was probably the best nap I've ever had." He smiled sweetly.

"Yeah, that was really nice. Thank you for invading my personal space.", you half laughed.

Chris entered the kitchen from his room, now wearing a t-shirt along with his pants. "Morning sleeping beauties." He pulled you in for a quick side hug as Sebastian chuckled. Chris had reached for the fridge when Sebastian offered up his water since he hadn't opened it yet.

"Oh, thanks, dude.", he said, taking it.

"No problem.", Sebastian got himself another water and leaned his hip against the counter as he opened it and drank.

"So," Chris gulped some water, then continued, "Sam said the group is going out for karaoke at the bar tonight. You guys wanna go?"

You nodded and grinned, "Yeah, that sounds like fun."

"Yeah." Sebastian agreed in unison with you.

"We gotta eat dinner first though...", Chris mentioned.

"I got it.", you offered. "I'm sure I can find something around here to put together."

Chris and Sebastian both offered to help, but you declined, so they both went into the sunroom just off of the kitchen to watch ridiculous youtube videos together on Chris's computer and laugh their asses off.

You found some smoked sausage, some frozen broccoli and quick cook rice. You looked in the fridge and found the soy sauce. You started looking in all the lower cupboards, "Chriiis?" you called out, "Do you have a wok?"

"It's in the cupboard over the stove, hon.", he got up and jogged up the two steps into the kitchen, Sebastian still browsing through videos on the computer.

"Who puts cooking dishes in upper cupboards?", you strained, on your tiptoes to reach it, failing.

Chris's tall figure was now next to you, his hand on the small of your back, he plucked the wok effortlessly from the cupboard and handed it down to you, "I do.", he smirked and kissed your cheek. He kept his lips close and whispered, "Gives me another excuse to help you."

"Thank you.", you said sweetly and gave him a smile.

At that he went back to his computer with Sebastian.

You chopped up the sausage, fried it in a little soy sauce, added the veggies and started heating the water for the rice. You searched the spice cupboard and found sesame seeds and sliced almonds and tossed those in the wok along with some other spices you were sure would work well. Chris was really unlike a lot of guys, his kitchen (and whole house for that matter) was well stocked and in order. Sebastian seemed to be the same, since everything was always in its place and he appeared to contribute just as much in all areas of keeping up a house and finances.

While you were cooking, the guys found some "Funniest Home Videos" clips and they were roaring with laughter, throwing their heads back, smacking their own chests and back handing each other in the chest and shoulders. Chris was even trying to talk through his laughs, but it just came out like high pitched gibberish.

You were laughing quietly to yourself. Both their laughs were infectious, especially Chris's; it was just so chaotic and loud, like he was having a delightful seizure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is becoming a slow rolling story and I hope that's okay. I really think it's a going to be good investment. I've got some serious ideas for this story's development. Hope you'll join me for the long haul.
> 
> Comment and let me know what you think! Thanks!
> 
> See you all when I get back in a few days!
> 
> Hugs and love!
> 
> PS - I can't not laugh when I watch Chris laughing; it makes my day 100x better. Here's a "left boob grab" video with lots of Chris laughing... You're welcome. ❤️ https://youtu.be/Luj95FMpe5k
> 
> PPS - But wait! There's more! For only $19.95, I'll throw in a "Seb has the lols" video! https://youtu.be/nNMI8I_h_dA


	10. Night Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Refresher:
> 
> While you were cooking, the guys found some "Funniest Home Videos" clips and they were roaring with laughter, throwing their heads back, smacking their own chests and back handing each other in the chest and shoulders. Chris was even trying to talk through his laughs, but it just came out like high pitched gibberish.
> 
> You were laughing quietly to yourself. Both their laughs were infectious, especially Chris's; it was just so chaotic and loud, like he was having a delightful seizure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song links at the end of the chapter.

After having dinner, you and the guys got ready and headed to the bar. Once you got in, you all met up with Tony, Pepper, Nat, Bruce, Thor, Jane, Clint and Sam. Laura volunteered to stay home with the kids and Maria was busy that night.

The place was nearly full, but there were one or two empty tables. It was loud enough with music and other people talking that everyone had to almost shout to be heard the whole night.

The group had a couple tables at the back and had already started with a couple pitchers of beer and the shots would soon follow.

"Hey!", Thor stood up, gave you a hug and greeted the guys as well. "Glad you guys made it!"

Chris shook his hand, "Glad you're not passed out, dude. We missed you last time." He gave him a brotherly slap on the back and a smirk. "You okay? Feeling drowsy?"

Thor laughed, "No, I'm good. Last week was murder. I should be good tonight."

After a short while of other patrons getting their voice-- and drink on, most of you had gone through the song book, a few had picked some songs and gave their slips to the DJ.

First up was Tony singing "That's Life", who probably was a few drinks ahead of everyone as was evident by his antics onstage, even though it wasn't far off from his usual self. You all were cheering him on and he even got a wolf whistle from Thor after attempting to pull up his pant leg and show a little skin. Pepper followed him with "Born To Fly" by Sarah Evans. She's got such a beautiful voice.

You had never done karaoke with this group before, so you needed to have a few more drinks before you were ready to go solo. You took a tequila shot for good measure. Nat picked "I Love It" by Icona Pop and asked you and Pepper to join her. You all danced and killed it, inciting whistles and shouts from all the guys in your group and others in the crowd.

Thor kept trying to get Jane to sing, even with others, but she was too shy. So Thor sang "Mama's Got A Squeeze Box" by The Who with Tony. By this time they were far enough gone that they were so obnoxiously funny. When they finished, Tony hopped on Thor's back, who wasn't prepared for a monkey attack and stumbled. He recovered and bounced down the steps off the stage with Tony on his back, which had Tony whining about his nuts when they got back to the table.

Sabastian sang "The Logical Song" by Super Tramp so smoothly, a song you remembered your Dad listening to a lot when you were a kid; it stirred up some really pleasant feelings. Chris sang "Too Much Of A Good Thing" by The Sons and sang it perfectly.

Now that you had a few drinks, you felt relaxed enough to give it a go alone and chose "Decode" by Paramore. Chris took your hand and escorted you to the stage; too many drunk men in the crowd by then for him to feel comfortable letting you go up alone. He stood against the wall on one side of the stage to watch and wait for you.

You got so lost in the song that you didn't even notice people watching you. You sang karaoke a lot, usually at your parents' parties at home with family and a few times at bars over the years with past friends. Your singing was strong and smooth; it was like a cameleon which could closely mimic the voice in many songs; powerful or soft and breathy, raspy or silky and your range was more than satisfactory for you. As the song came to an end and the music faded, cheers and applause snapped you back to reality and you said a meek 'thank you' into the mic before stepping down.

Chris made his way to the steps and held his hand out for you and guided you down the steps. "Holy shit, (Y/N)!", Chris exclaimed, putting an arm around your shoulders, giving you an enthusiastic kiss on the head. "That was awesome!"

Your mouth turned up slightly in a small smile and you chuckled.

When you made it back to the group, eveyone there was still clapping and giving you praise. Sebastian stood and pulled out your chair and took his seat again as Chris sat on your other side. 

Sebastian's face had surprise written all over it. "Wow. That was amazing.", he said, "You really need to sing more, doll."

"Thank you.", you smiled shyly.

The night wore on and at some point you noticed that your group was monopolizing the stage, but the crowd didn't seem to mind; most of you had great talent and the ones who didn't made up for it with comedy.

Once you drank enough to start getting really giggly, Sebastian had noticed and kept to his word from the night before about making sure you don't have too much. You were pouring yourself another beer from the pitcher as he put an arm around you and waited for you to finish filling your glass. He leaned closer to your ear as he took the pitcher gently with his other hand, setting it back on the table, "Last one, okay, babe?"

You gave him puppy eyes and pouted.

He put his head against yours, "That face is damn hard to resist, but I can tell you've had enough.", he punctuated that with a kiss on your temple.

"Okay." You said softly and rested your head on his shoulder, but snapped up, startled, when Tony shouted.

"HEY!!!"

"Jesus.", Sebastian muttered under his breath, blinking against the noise, his arm still around your shoulders.

"Get your hair outta my beer, caveman!", Tony yelled at Thor who was leaning over Tony's beer while listening to a story Pepper was telling.

"Oh! Hahaha!", Thor boomed, "Sorry, brother!"

"Waitress!", Tony shouted to no one, looking around and holding up his glass, "I want my money back! This beer has Fabio hair in it!"

 

Songs:

That's Life:  
https://youtu.be/KIiUqfxFttM

Born To Fly:  
https://youtu.be/8xvhutWc67k

I Love It:  
https://youtu.be/UxxajLWwzqY

Mama's Got A Squeeze Box:  
https://youtu.be/yRkd90nTqZ0

The Logical Song:  
https://youtu.be/Mh3Kk5tZSmo

Too Much Of A Good Thing:  
https://youtu.be/mVhAJpdf7nI

Decode:  
https://youtu.be/RvnkAtWcKYg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was up way too late writing this, hope ot doesn't suck since I was tired. It's kind of uneventful, but hope it's fun. I really wanted to give you something tonight since I was gone for a few days.
> 
> Let me know what you think!
> 
> Hugs and love.


	11. In The Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Refresher:
> 
> "HEY!!!"
> 
> "Jesus.", Sebastian muttered under his breath, blinking against the noise, his arm still around your shoulders.
> 
> "Get your hair outta my beer, caveman!", Tony yelled at Thor who was leaning over Tony's beer while listening to a story Pepper was telling.
> 
> "Oh! Hahaha!", Thor boomed, "Sorry, brother!"
> 
> "Waitress!", Tony shouted to no one, looking around and holding up his glass, "I want my money back! This beer has Fabio hair in it!"

When everyone wrapped things up at the bar, you and the guys headed home. On the way out the door, you were giggling... a lot. You had gone to the restroom before leaving and started giggling at the tinkling sound of your peeing and now you couldn't stop.

Sebastian was laughing and Chris spoke through a chuckle, "What is going on with you?" He stopped, took your hand to stop you and moved in front of you and crouched slightly, gesturing for you to jump onto his back. "Hop on, hon."

"Pee makes funny sounds." You reached up and put your hands on his shoulders, then hesitated.

"What?!", Chris was laughing harder now at your observation, Sebastian joining in.

You ignored his question, "I can't, Chris. You're like, 80 feet tall. I won't jump high enough."

"You've done it before.", he laughed.

"I wasn't inebriated then."

"You have been when Seb gave you piggy back rides and he's the same height as me, weirdo. Now come on, feel the Tigger, beeee the Tigger.", he was still holding his hands behind him, flicking them up in the direction of his back.

You weren't even terribly short, just the perfect height for either of them to fit your head comfortably under their chin in a hug, but short enough that things like reaching the top cupboards were an issue, as it was earlier that day. Even though he was crouching a bit, for some reason you felt jumping right now, to any height, was a risky endeavor.

Sebastian was standing nearby and watching your exchange, shaking his head and grinning, hands in his jeans pockets. He was beginning to find this argument quite entertaining.

"If I bounce like Tigger, I'll break my ass because I don't have a-", you made the air quote gesture, "bottom made outta string...", you then shifted and stood with your hands on your hips in a very know-it-all kind of way. "I don't have a springy tail."

"You little shit.", Chris chortled and turned.

Before you realized what had happened, he had thrown you over his shoulder as you let out a shriek and laughed. He started for the car. "Chris!", you grunted, bracing yourself with your hands pressed against his back just above his butt, your hair swaying to and fro with his gait.

"We need to get home, princess.", he was fighting the urge to give your ass a good smack.

Sebastian made it to the car ahead of the both of you and opened the back door so that Chris could deposit you on the seat and climb in next to you.

"You're lucky she didn't pee on you carrying her like that.", Sebastian remarked and as he shut the door.

Chris laughed and you started shouting, your statement starting out loud and then muffled after the door closed, "I _just_ went pee!"

Sebastian climbed in the driver's seat, shut his door and started the engine, "On Chris?"

Chris laughed harder and helped you finish buckling your seat belt since you were distracted with arguing with Sebastian as he backed out of the parking space.

You sighed heavily, exasperated, and pointed at Sebastian scoldingly as he was turned to maneuver the car backwards , "Hey!-", you paused, "No! In there!", you pointed out your window your eyes following your finger's direction, your face turning confused. 

Sebastian snickered, his eyes looking past you out the back window.

"Where'd the bar go?"

They both laughed and Sebastian answered you, "It's behind us now, doll."

You had actually fallen asleep with your head against Chris's shoulder on the way home. He rested his head against the top of yours. Your hand had ended up absentmindedly on his leg during your potty rant and he now covered it gently with his own. The car ride home was quiet-- once you and your chatty mouth fell asleep. You woke up and lifted your head when Sebastain parked the car in the driveway. He got out saying he'd unlock the door and that he had to pee. He headed across the yard and disappeared inside.

Disoriented for just a second, you looked up at Chris and smiled sweetly. "Oh, hi.", you said quietly.

"Hey.", he was looking at you so attentively, he eyes focused on yours, flicking back and forth between each of them. It roused a warmth in your chest and gave you butterflies for a beat. "Ready to go to bed?", he asked softly.

You took a deep breath and broke the gaze, unbuckling your seat belt and sitting up, "Yeah."

"You need help?", he asked opening the door and waiting before moving further.

"No, I'm okay.", you both slid out of the car, he first and offered a hand to help you out. You felt coolness under your feet and looked down to find yourself barefoot. "Where are my shoes?"

You hadn't noticed that Chris had them in his hand already and he held them up to show you as he started guiding you along the car and up the driveway with a hand at the small of your back.

"Ow! Shit!", you hissed and stopped, grabbing your foot as Chris quickly gripped under your elbow to steady you. "Fuckin' rocks."

He scooped you up and carried you bridal style toward the house, "You okay?"

"Yes, thank you.", you laid your head against the crook of his neck, he was so warm and comforting.

When he reached the door, he set you down gently and opened it for you.

Once inside, you said your goodnights to the guys, brushed your teeth, changed into a tank top and pajama pants and headed to bed. You were already sobering and you could very faintly hear through your barely open door that Chris had the TV in his room on as you lay there, drifting off.

You woke up in the middle of the night, the house dark and quiet. You sat up feeling felt heavy and restricted though you had no problem moving. In a matter of seconds you felt as though something was wrong, very wrong and your heart started racing, thumping so hard in your chest, the sound of it banging in your ears. Where you in danger? What was that feeling? Are you having a heart attack? You felt so confused. Breathing heavily, you stood and started pacing, moving your hands in front of you in a motion that suggested that you were attempting to shake something off them, the energy coursing through you too much to suppress. You thought you should probably get to someone since you didn't understand what was happening.

You walked swiftly to Chris's room and stood next to his bed, "Chris?", your voice was so small. Nothing. You reached your hand out and gave his shoulder a soft shake and spoke up, "Chris?"

"Hmm?", he hummed sleepily.

"Something's wrong.", you let out a quiet sob and he quickly sat up and turned on his bedside lamp to see you, shifting back and forth on your feet, wringing your hands and breathing quickly.

He stood, putting a hand under each of your elbows and ducking his head to see your face better, displaying the panic on his own as he asked, "What's wrong?"

"I don't know. I feel like I'm going to die and I don't know why.", your sobs were slowly getting louder, your voice reflecting you fears and tears started flowing as he gently turned you, sat you on his bed and took a seat beside you.

"Are you in pain?", he asked calmly.

Your breathing was still labored and now jagged as you cried. "No, but my arm is tingling!" The feeling of doom increased ten fold and you started rocking; gotta move, too much energy. _'What's happening to me?! Please, God, someone help me! I don't wanna die.'_

Only seconds after your terrified cries were just loud enough to be heard elsewhere in the house, there were thudding footsteps running up the basement stairs. It only took Sebastian a moment to reach the room and rush in. He asked, alarmed, "What's wrong?!"

When he was only a few steps from you, Chris put up a hand to halt him. You needed a little space right now; having them both close could be overwhelming. He trusted his friend completely, so he stopped where he was, but his face was twisted in restraint, worry and concern. He wanted to go to you so badly, to hold you, it pained him greatly.

Chris had already identified the issue, "She's having a panic attack.", he replied, gently sliding an arm around your shoulders and he shifted closer to you, pulled you into his side and dipped his head down to get eye contact with you. "I need you to slow your breathing, okay? I'm right here, it's gonna be okay, sweetheart. I'm here. Now, breath with me.", you were still sobbing while he took long, deep breaths with you pressed against him to feel the rhythm.

Your head was swimming and all you could think was _'I don't wanna die. I don't wanna die. I don't wanna die.'_. Your breath wasn't slowing and the tingly numbness was now crawling up your neck to your face. "Now my face is tingling!", you cried out.

Chris took a short, quick breath, "The numbness is from too much oxygen, you have to control your breathing. Focus, (Y/N), you can do this.", he calmly reassured you and continued to breathe.

You still weren't coming down. Your crying had quieted and now you were just shaking, your chest heaving, eyes wide. Chris could feel that you were starting to sweat.

"Seb,", Chris started, seeing that what he was doing wasn't working, "I need you try to get her to slow her breathing." He had only started to stand and Sebastian was already by your side lowering himself to sit and putting a hand on your back gently. Chris continued, "I'm going to get a cool cloth and some water." He left the room quickly.

Sebastian wrapped his arm around your back and slid the other under your legs and shifted you onto his lap. Chris seemed to have taken the light handed, clinical approach, but something in Sebastian's gut said you needed more. He curled his arms around you securely and gently laid your head on his shoulder, your forehead resting against the side of his neck. He kissed your forehead a couple times and cooed, "Seb's here, doll. I've got you. You're safe. I won't let anything happen to you. I've got you." And then he just held your trembling body, his cheek resting on your head.

Chris had reappeared with the cloth and a glass of water. He stopped and waited at the foot of the bed when Sebastian held up a finger to tell him to wait a moment.

You could smell Sebastian now, feel his warmth wrapped around you, his strong arms protecting you, feel his soft breath on your hair, his chest rising and falling, slow and steady, silently willing yours to do the same. His voice echoed in your head; _You're safe. I won't let anything happen to you. I've got you..._ Your breathing slowed along with your thoughts and you suddenly felt exhausted.

Your eyes closed and having felt the change, Sebastian asked softly, "You with me, doll?"

"Mm-hm.", you hummed.

Chris handed Sebastian the cloth and he gently wiped the sweat from your forehead and then doing the same on your neck and collarbones. Chris traded Sebastian the glass of water for the cloth and Sebastian held it near your mouth, "Here, take a drink of water."

You opened your eyes only long enough to take a sip. The water soothing your throat, dry from the labored breathing. You shivered, the thin coating of sweat on your body cooling you now that your core temperature had come down. Sebastian handed the glass back to Chris, hooked an arm behind your knees, the other still wrapped around your back and he stood up. He turned and laid you on Chris's bed, covered you with the blankets and kissed your forehead once again. You were already falling asleep. He straightened up, and looked at Chris next to him, his face painted with anguish.

Chris saw this and gestured for him to step away from the bed. They stopped near the door and Chris leaned close enough that only Sebastian could hear him whisper, "Hey, I know that was really hard to watch her go through, but she's going to be okay." Chris has had some experience having panic attacks himself, but he luckily got the help and stress management he needed to keep them in check a long time ago. He continued when Sebastian didn't respond, his face unchanging, "Panic attacks aren't harmful or fatal in and of themselves. It's the stress that causes them that can be a problem. If she continues to have them, she'll need help getting them and her stress under control. Being that she had one tonight, we'll make sure she sees a doctor as a precaution." Sebastian nodded, his face softening ever so slightly as he sighed. Chris put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a gentle shake, "Now, go get some sleep, bro. She can sleep in my bed with me tonight so I can keep a close watch on her. No sense in moving her."

Sebastian nodded and whispered, "Okay." He turned and went to your side again, giving you a long and gentle kiss on the cheek and giving your hair a stroke. He was worried. He believed Chris's words, but it didn't take back the horrible feelings he had watching you go through it, nor did it erase the dread he felt knowing it might happen again. But, he knew he would do whatever he could to help you... And it would start with being the one who grounded you should it ever happen again. _I've got you._

Sebastian went back to bed, though it took him a long while to fall asleep.

Chris turned off the lamp and climbed under the blankets, nestling in close to you. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close to his chest, bringing you out of sleep just enough for you to recognize his scent, your eyes still closed. You hummed in contentment and murmured, "Chris."

You noticed that he took a deep breath at the sound of your voice softly saying his name, "Yeah, hon. I'm here."

You fell back to sleep. You had still been a bit cold and after a few moments, his warmth melted your body into a state of complete relaxation while you slept.

He laid there awake to make sure you were okay until his eyes got too heavy to keep open and, even though he knew you were asleep, he whispered into your hair, "I'm so sorry that happened to you, sweet girl. I'm going to help you... I'll always take care of you." He kissed your head and fell asleep holding you close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was really excited to get this idea written out and posted. Shit's getting serious.
> 
> Let me know if you all are still out there reading this and what you think.
> 
> Thanks for the comments and kudos, they keep me going!
> 
> Hugs and love!


	12. Winds Of Change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Refresher:
> 
> He laid there awake to make sure you were okay until his eyes got too heavy to keep open and, even though he knew you were asleep, he whispered into your hair, "I'm so sorry that happened to you, sweet girl. I'm going to help you... I'll always take care of you." He kissed your head and fell asleep holding you close.

The next day was spent puttering around the house, one of the guys by your side at all times; they stayed home all day to look after you. You felt like they were fussing over you too much, but you reveled in having your boys close for a whole day. 

While Sebastian made sandwiches for lunch, you and Chris sat on the bar stools at the island. They talked to you about going to a doctor first thing the next day to make sure that there wasn't more going on than suspected.

Sebastian spoke as he smeared mayonnaise on a slice of bread, "And before you say anything about money, I got it. Okay?", he looked to you for a response and you nodded reluctantly. "Let's just get you taken care of. I don't care how that gets done as long as it gets done."

"Okay.", you agreed quietly.

Sebastian nodded in approval at your response and set a turkey sandwich loaded with all the fixings in front of you, "Thata girl, now eat your sammich.", he winked at you and then gave Chris a sandwich, who expressed thanks before chowing down.

You thanked him as well and picked up the huge layering of food, quickly realizing that it was too thick for your mouth. You set it back down on the plate. Sebastian was chewing, looking confused, Chris doing the same. Before either could say anything, you stood up with your feet on the stool leg braces, put both your hands, one over the other, down on the sandwich and leaned over it with your weight, giving it a good smash. The guys started laughing. You sat back down, picked it up and took a bite happily, smiling at Sebastian as you chewed.

"God, you're adorable.", he smiled at you affectionately.

The following day, Sebastian had to go into work, but Chris worked from home, so he could take you to his doctor. The doctor said that it sounded exactly like a panic attack, but he gave you an exam to make sure there were no signs that it had been anything else. He sent you off with a clean bill of health, advising that panic attacks are caused by stress and anxiety and that you needed to find ways to manage your stress and quiet your mind; he gave you some suggestions. He also mentioned that he could give you medication to keep you calm. You declined. You would rather try to fix this without drugs if possible. If you could just get a job, that would probably help immensely.

Your next order of business was to look for that job. After the doctor, you took a shower and got presentable; putting on some slacks, a blouse and some heels. When Chris heard the click of your heels across the hardwood in the kitchen, he turned from his computer in the sunroom and gave a low whistle, "Looking good, where you going?"

"Time to find a job.", you half smiled.

He got up and headed toward you, "Let me drive you."

"Chris,", you sighed, "you have to work."

He grabbed his keys off one of the hooks on the wall by the fridge, "I can just send Tony a text and work when I'm not looking after you." He headed to you and kissed your head, "I'm one of his favorites, he'll be cool about it, given the situation. I'm not comfortable letting you drive just yet."

You sighed again, "Fine."

His brows furrowed playfully, "Ooh, miss 'tude." He smiled and encouraged you to move toward the front door with a hand on your lower back, "Come on, princess."

Chris drove you around to every salon you could find, none of them hiring. You took a break Just after 1 o'clock and Chris took you to lunch. You then asked him to take you to the state work services building. Might as well see what there is in administration, since you had done that in the past too. You applied to several jobs that your were qualified for while Chris sat next to you checking work emails on his phone. You asked him to start taking you around to business buildings to start "knocking on doors" to see who was hiring. He encouraged you to call it a day and you accepted on account of your sore feet more than anything.

The next couple of weeks, you kept looking for work, had a few interviews, but nothing had come of any of it yet. The guys started leaving you on your own so they could go to work, knowing that it wasn't realistic to be with you constantly, but that didn't stop them from checking on you all day long, especially Sebastian. You had another panic attack during those weeks. Luckily, it was while watching a movie with Sebastian down in the family room and he used the same technique as before to bring you out of it and he succeeded quite quickly.

You also started having trouble sleeping and on those nights, you would wander into Chris's room and softly call his name while standing next to his bed. He would just move over and open the blankets for you without a word. You would climb in and cuddle up to his chest to listen to his heartbeat and he would hold you close until you fell asleep. He felt really lucky that his room was closeset to yours. You didn't play favorites, but you always seemed to have a closer bond with Sebastian and went to Chris's room out of convenience. But the reason didn't matter to him; he just wanted to hold you, smell you, protect you.

Sometimes, he wished for more, but he didn't see anything from you to indicate that you felt the same. So, he would take what he could; holding you when you came to him... When you needed him. He was your friend, that was what you needed now, so that's what he would continue to be.

Chris had met a girl at the gym, her name was Sharon. She gave him her number and asked him to call her to go out for coffee sometime. It took him nearly two weeks to call her; struggling with his own feelings about you. But, nothing was happening there. So, he had coffee with her and two days after that, on a Friday, he took her out for an actual date. It was a minuscule feeling, but you we're a little jealous and secretly, you hoped it wouldn't work out because you wanted your boys all to yourself. 

While Chris was on his date, you and Sebastian stayed home and hung out. He ordered pizza, you watched a movie together in the living room and he rubbed your neck and shoulders as you sat on the floor in front of him on the couch.

After the movie, he kissed your head and stood, swinging a leg over your head to bring his feet together, "I'm gonna get in the hot tub. You wanna join me?", he offered you a hand and helped you up.

"Nah. I think I'm gonna go read. Thank you for the massage.", you stood on your toes and wrapped your arms around his neck in a hug as he wrapped his arms around you in return.

"You're very welcome.", he said softly.

You kissed his cheek and tried to pull away, but his hold tightened gently. You paused for a beat and obliged his silent request. You sunk back down flat on your feet, pulling your arms down and under his, curling them around his back as his were now wrapped around your shoulders and upper back. You laid your head against his chest, his cheek resting on your head. His heart was beating a bit fast. You wondered if he was feeling nervous or scared and then he spoke, "(Y/N), I'm so sorry about what you've been going through. I hate seeing you suffering."

"I know.", you replied softly. "But, you're taking care of me so well. Thank you."

"Not well enough. It's still happening."

You could hear the self disappointment in his voice. "Seb, stop. If I didn't have you, things would be worse. It's going to take time for me to get this all under control. It's gonna be okay." For what you were pretty sure was the first time, you were taking care of him in this moment. He needed you to tell him that things would be okay, that your were okay.

He pulled away slowly, his hands coming to rest gently on your arms as he looked down at you, clenching his jaw. His face conveyed a mix of emotion; worry, inadequacy, doubt... and something else. You couldn't identify it, but it was intense in his deep blue eyes. His gaze traveled to your mouth as he licked his bottom lip. He lifted your chin slightly with a finger and your heart started to race as he began to close the distance between your faces. He tilted his head to one side and kissed your cheek. You sighed and gave him a closed mouth smile, a little disappointed.

His voice was low, "Goodnight, doll."

"Goodnight, Sebby.", you replied.

He left the room with you staring after him.

You changed into pajamas and picked up your book off your night stand and sat on your bed, against the headboard. You paused and thought for a moment. You put the book back, got up and quickly changed into your bathing suit. It was a one piece red and white striped suit with a bow tied between the breasts and a low cut back. You put your hair in a big, high messy bun, grabbed a towel and headed to the hot tub.

Sebastian was slouched down in the small, round tub, his head tilted back and resting against the edge, his eyes closed. He lifted his head and opened his eyes when he heard the back door to see you rounding the corner of the sunroom and walking towards him. He cocked an eyebrow. Your suit was modest, but damn, it complimented all your curves perfectly. One corner of his mouth pulled up slightly in a half smirk.

"Hey, babe, you made it.", he smiled.

"Yeah, I changed my mind." You put your towel on a chair on the deck. He stood and took your hand to steady you as you stepped in, his eyes glued to you.

He sat in his spot again and you lowered yourself to sit across from him. The tub was small, only big enough for four or five people. He smiled softly, "I'm glad you decided to join me."

The two of you talked about anything and everything for a little over an hour. It started with talking about a funny scene in the movie you had just watched. The conversation moved around, from movies, to interpretations of books, to the meaning of life and where you wanted to be in life. He also talked about the new job he just started working for Tony. He stayed with what he knew and was hired on in the insurance department. But, he took the job because it payed more.

It felt so comfortable; just talking, sharing. Familiar. That word came to mind again.

He stepped out of the hot tub first and grabbed your towel before his own and offered you a hand, helping you out and stealing another glance at the way your suit hugged your body as he handed you your towel and then reached for his. You stole your own glance at all his bare, firm muscles as he dried himself off. Once dry, you both headed inside. In the kitchen, he gave you a quick hug and a kiss on the head. 

"Nite, doll- again.", he chuckled. He headed downstairs for the night. It was only about 9 PM, but Sebastian had had a long week at work and the hot tub made you quite tired.

You changed back into your pajamas and got in bed. You fell asleep pretty quickly, thank goodness you were so relaxed.

You woke up only about an hour later and looked at your phone; it was just after 10:00. You laid in bed awake for about 15 minutes before you gave up. You headed to Chris's room and peaked in, he wasn't there. You looked at the key hooks in the kitchen and his keys weren't in their usual place and the house was dark and quiet except for the dim light over the stove top, so you assumed he wasn't back from his date yet.

You quietly went downstairs to Sebastian's room, stopping just inside the doorway. You could hear him snoring lightly as you waited a moment for your eyes to adjust to the almost non-existent green glow of his digital alarm clock. Once you could make out where he was on the bed, you spoke up, "Sebastian?"

"Mm?", he opened his eyes, searching the dark for where your voice was coming from, spotting you near the door, "(Y/N)? What's wrong?", he sat up, squinting at you in the dark and then rubbing one of his eyes with his fingertips.

"I can't sleep."

"Where's Chris?", he asked groggily, knowing you always went to Chris when you couldn't sleep.

"He's not back from his date yet."

He looked at his clock and nodded. "Come on, doll.", he relaxed down onto an elbow, holding the blankets open for you. You climbed into the bed and cuddled against him as he turned to lay on his back. You rested your head in the crook between his shoulder and chest as he wrapped his arm around your back and he kissed your forehead. Sleep had never come so fast for you as it did then.

A short time later, Sebastian's voice woke you, rumbling in his chest beneath your ear, "What?"

You heard Chris's quiet voice next, "Where's (Y/N)?"

You turned your head in Chris's direction, "I'm right here.", you said sleepily.

"Oh, okay.", Chris sighed in relief, "I panicked for a second when I couldn't find you."

You turned over to face Chris, rolling out of Sebastian's arms and resting on your elbow, "How was your date?"

He sat on the edge of the bed near you, "It was good. I had a good time."

Sebastian piped up, "Can you guys keep it down? Some of us are trying to sleep."

"Sorry." You whispered, and adressed Chris again, "Good enough to go on another date?"

You could barely see him tilt his head in the dark and he wispered back, "Yeah. Yeah, I think so."

"That's good.", you smiled, even though he wasn't looking at you. "I'm glad."

He nodded and turned his head to you. You couldn't read his face. The green light of the clock was behind him on Seb's desk.

"Well,", you started, "Since there's a chance you might be taken soon, will you sleep with us tonight? I need to stock up on Chris cuddles."

He huffed out a quiet breath like a chuckle, "Seb?", he spoke up.

"Whaaat?", Seb groaned, he sounded like he was starting to get annoyed by all this waking him up business.

"Sorry, dude. You okay with me sleeping with you guys tonight?"

"Yeah, man."

Chris whispered to you, "I'll be back after I get ready for bed." He stood and left. You laid your head back down and waited.

After a moment, Sebastian asked, "Where'd he go?"

"To get ready for bed.", you answered.

Sebastian rolled toward you on his side, behind you, wrapped and arm around your waist, pulled you into him and hummed, his voice gravelly, "Mm, good. I get you to myself for a little longer." He nuzzled your hair.

Your stomach fluttered a little and you giggled quietly.

You laid there for a moment before you felt something rigid against you backside, "Oh my God.", you said quietly, "Seb? Do you have a chubby?", you chuckled softly.

"Look,", he mumbled sleepily, "I can't help it. You're hot and your ass is pressed against me. If it makes you uncomfotable, you can move. But, please just let me sleep."

You stayed where you were, enjoying knowing how you made him feel.

Chris returned a few minutes later and climbed in on your other side, positioning himself so that you could rest your head on his chest. As you shifted the top half of your body over to lay your head on Chris's chest, Sebastian's hand moved down to your hip bone and gripped it firmly, but gently in his sleep, then his hand relaxed. Your body twitched slightly at the unexpected gesture as Chris was putting his arm around you, not knowing what had happened.

"You okay?", he whispered.

"Yeah", you whispered back, settling against him, "muscle spasm.", you lied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap this chapter makes me so happy!
> 
> I also want to thank you all. You've all been so kind with your comments and I'm tickled that my writing is something that is giving you all something to enjoy. My deepest thanks and graditude for you appreciation of my work; it keeps me going!
> 
> Thanks for the comments and kudos!
> 
> Hugs and love!


	13. Guilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Refresher:
> 
> Chris returned a few minutes later and climbed in on your other side, positioning himself so that you could rest your head on his chest. As you shifted the top half of your body over to lay your head on Chris's chest, Sebastian's hand moved down to your hip bone and gripped it firmly, but gently in his sleep, then his hand relaxed. Your body twitched slightly at the unexpected gesture as Chris was putting his arm around you, not knowing what had happened.
> 
> "You okay?", he whispered.
> 
> "Yeah", you whispered back, settling against him, "muscle spasm.", you lied.

The birds chirping outside woke you the next morning. Your eyes opened slowly and you blinked a few times in the still dim morning light as you found yourself trapped between the guys. You were on your back. Chris was on his side, facing you and had nuzzled his head tight against your neck, his heavy arm across your middle. Sebastian was splayed out on his back, a bit diagonal on the bed, his upper body away from you slightly and one of his legs across both of yours.

He stretched in his sleep, his arms over his head and without warning, he slammed his elbows down, the one nearest to you hitting you hard in the eyebrow bone right at the corner of your eye.

"Fuck!", you cried out and then whimpered, covering where you were hit with one hand and turning away towards Chris.

Both of them snapped awake. The contact with you woke Sebastian and he jolted halfway up, instantly realizing what he'd done and he reached for you. At the same time, Chris had lifted his head and gripped you protectively with his once relaxed arm that was resting on you, a bewildered look on his face.

"Shit!", Sebastian exclaimed, "Honey, I'm so sorry!" He was leaning towards you, propped on his elbow, his hand on your arm.

You were growling at the pain quietly, clenching your teeth hard as Chris asked, "What happened?!", looking at you and lightly touching the hand on your face for a moment.

"I fuckin' elbowed her in the face in my sleep.", Sebastian cringed at himself. He turned you toward him as you hissed in pain. "Let me see, sweetie.", he gently pulled your hand away. There were tears streaming from your eye, which you couldn't even open yet and you were already getting a purple goose egg.

Chris had already sat up, leaning on his hand to get a better look and his eyebrows shot up, "Oh, shit."

Sebastian's eyebrows furrowed in guilt. "Oh my God, baby, I'm so sorry.", he rolled you a little closer and hunched his upper body over you carefully to hold you, resting his cheek against your head. He gave Chris a look that said 'God, I'm awful.' Chris's face showed sympathy for both you and Sebastian.

You managed to open your eye a little, "Am I bleeding?", you asked against Sebastian's chest.

He pulled his head back and looked down at you, his face pained, "No, but you've got a nasty purple bump."

"That's better than bleeding.", you managed a weak smile.

He wiped the tears from your cheek and temple with his thumb, "God, I'm so sorry." He rested his forehead against yours.

"I forgive you, Sebby.", you chuckled softly, the pain becoming a dull throb now and your eye becoming easier to keep open.

Chris rolled over and got out of the bed, "I'll go get some ice." He disappeared out the door.

Sebastian continued to hold you and couldn't stop apologizing, "I'm so sorry."

"Seb, it's okay. I'm fine.", you patted his chest reassuringly.

"I'm supposed to protect you, not beat you up. I told you that I wouldn't let anything happen to you and here I am hurting you. I never want to hurt you."

You sighed. It was becoming difficult to convince him. You pulled back enough to look up at him. His face was still twisted up in guilt. "Please, Seb. It was an accident.", you reached up and placed a hand softly against his cheek and he closed his eyes, covering your hand with his. You could feel his heartbeat quicken under your other hand on his chest and his face softened. "I'm okay.", you said softly.

You removed your hand and he opened his eyes just before Chris entered the room.

"Okay, here we go, hon.", Chris sat on the bed, facing the headboard, one leg bent up on the bed. Sebastian held out his hand and Chris handed him the dish towel covered bag of ice.

He touched it to your face as lightly as he could and you sucked in a tiny hiss which incited a flinch from him. You gave him a small assuring smile to tell him that you were okay.

You let Sebastian fuss over you a while longer while Chris went upstairs to make coffee and breakfast.

Sebastain climbed off the bed and helped you up, "Are you doing okay, doll?" He licked his lips, anxiously and bit his bottom lip. He just couldn't wipe that expression of concern off his face.

You flashed him a bright smile, "Yes, Sebby. I promise."

He hugged you into his arms tight, being mindful not to touch where you were injured. He kissed the top of your head about five times.

You rubbed your cheek against his chest a little and spoke, "I noticed you called me a few endearing names that you never have before, even when I was having panic attacks.", you smiled.

He chuckled softly, "Yeah, I guess when you feel like an asshole it just all comes out."

You pushed back away from his chest, "Stop it.", you grinned.

He finally smiled back.

He took your hand and lead you upstairs.

Once in the kitchen, he pulled out your chair at the table and pushed it in as you sat, gave your shoulders a squeeze and moved to the counter to get you a cup of coffee.

Chris set of plate of blueberry pancakes with eggs and sausage in front of you and put down two ibuprofen on the table beside it. "You need to eat before you take those."

"Thank you.", you smiled up at him.

He bent over slightly and turned your head with a gentle hand to look at the bump, and grimaced, "How ya doin', kiddo?"

"I'm fine, thank you. Chris, I can't eat all this."

He chuckled, "That's okay, sweetheart.", he stroked you hair and went back to the stove to dish up his and Sebastian's plates.

After breakfast, you stood to take your plate to the sink and Sebastian jumped up from the table and grabbed your plate before you could, "I got it, babe."

"Seb, it's my face that got hurt. My arms and legs are fine."

"Just let me do it, please."

You nodded and sat back down to sip your coffee.

Once you finished your coffee, you rinsed your cup and put it in the dishwasher and headed to your room to get some clothes, Sebastian following after you. As you turned away from your dresser, clothes in hand, you saw him standing just inside the door.

"Seb, I'm fine."

"I know," he sighed, "I just really feel like I have to be near you."

"You can't follow me everywhere. You gonna follow me into the shower too?", you said sarcastically, raising an eyebrow.

You realized that what you said may have been a mistake when the corners of his mouth curled up mischievously, "Is that an invitaion?"

You scoffed as you passed him and shoved his shoulder back playfully, "No."

You were having lunch with Pepper, Natasha and Maria later. Once the time came, they arrived to pick you up. You were in the living room, watching TV. The guys were downstairs watching a college basketball game that you had no interest in. The girls all came to the door and when you answered, their smiles all turned to worry at the sight of the terrible lump on your face.

Pepper spoke first as you let them in, "(Y/N), what happened?!"

You hoped the guys couldn't hear her, Sebastian would feel even worse.

"Sebastian elbowed me-"

They all started to look pretty pissed, so you continued quickly, "It was an accident, he was asleep."

Natasha stepped closer so she could whisper, her eyes wide and probing, "(Y/N), if someone is hitting you, you need to tell me. We'll get you out of here right now and I'll kick their ass or asses myself."

"Nat,", you said quietly, "I'm telling the truth. We were sleeping and he stretched, _in his sleep_ , and accidentally got me when he put his elbow down. He feels awful. He fussed over me all morning."

She looked at you for a long beat, her lips pressed together tight, "Okay.", she finally said hesitantly, "But if anyone EVER lays a hand on you, you leave and tell someone _immediately_.

"I swear, I would.", you assured her without skipping a beat.

Nat's a pretty smart cookie; she had been paying close attention to your body language, facial expressions, tone, and inflection since she saw the bump. She noticed that you replied to the things she said very quickly, which indicated that you didn't need time to think about how to reply to cover something up. You did nothing to try to hide the wound either, you weren't even wearing a lick of makeup. You also used the word 'would' instead of 'will'. 'Would' is definite future tense, not present tense. That's all the proof that she needed.

"Okay!", she chirped happily. "Everything's fine here." She said to the other girls. They knew how keen Nat was on how people worked, so they trusted her.

You shouted goodbye to the guys downstairs and they shouted back. You left with the girls.

You all went to sushi, Pepper was treating this time. You were sat at a table inside a small room with a booth and paper paned wood sliding doors.

Once you were all seated, Pepper smiled at you, "So, how's the job search going?"

You sighed heavily, "Not good."

She frowned, "Aw, I'm sorry. Do you have any experience besides nails?"

"Yes,", you took a sip of your water, "I've done basic administrative work too."

She nodded, "I'll keep and eye out for you."

"Me too.", Nat and Maria said in unison and you all laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BAM! Have another chapter!
> 
> Shorter than I would have prefered, but I got a little stuck.
> 
> Let me know what you think.
> 
> Thanks for the comments and kudos!
> 
> Hugs and love!


	14. Escalation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Refresher:**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Once you were all seated, Pepper smiled at you, "So, how's the job search going?"
> 
> You sighed heavily, "Not good."
> 
> She frowned, "Aw, I'm sorry. Do you have any experience besides nails?"
> 
> "Yes,", you took a sip of your water, "I've done basic administrative work too."
> 
> She nodded, "I'll keep and eye out for you."
> 
> "Me too.", Nat and Maria said in unison and you all laughed.

DISCLAIMER: INFORMATION IN THIS CHAPTER IS NOT ENTIRELY MEDICALLY ACCURATE FOR THE SAKE OF THE STORYLINE. PLEASE DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH CONCERNING HEALTH CONDITIONS AND WHAT TO DO WHEN THEY HAPPEN.

After lunch, the girls dropped you off at home. You saw Sam and Thor's cars parked on the street in front of the house. You came through the front door and could hear the rumble of the sound system for the big screen TV downstairs. It sounded like they were all watching an action movie.

You headed for the bathroom to look at the lump on your face. It hadn't gone down yet and was darker. Awesome. "I look like Quasimodo.", you muttered to yourself. You then went down to the basement to let the guys know that you were home.

You walked into the family room, dim from the heavy black curtains on the high windows the over the TV. You saw that Bruce was also there. You approached the back of L shaped sectional couch and Sebastian was sitting at the end farthest from you. He saw your movement out of the corner of his eye.

"Hey, doll." He hitched his head to one side to motion for you to come to him. Luckily, the movie wasn't at a loud scene so he didn't have to speak up.

You continued along the couch towards him as everyone else turned to greet you, Thor and Sam's faces look surprised at what they saw on your face.

As you approached Sebastian, he reached a hand up, you took it and he guided you behind him and around the arm of the couch. You stepped in front of him as he sat up and put his hands on your hips and lowered you down onto his lap.

As you sat, Sam spoke up, "Girl, what happened?" He circled a finger toward his face in the same place as your injury, looking concerned.

"Oh, I got accidentally elbowed.", you chuckled.

Thor and Sam looked suspiciously between you, Sebastian and Chris, eyes narrow. They knew that Chris and Seb were good men and would never hit a woman, but these kind of things happen under people's noses all the time, so they weren't going to take the chance of ignoring the question. Looking towards Sebastian and then Chris, Thor asked, "Did one of you hit her?"

Sebastian exclaimed, "Oh my God! No!"

At the same time Chris shook his head in a slow, wide gesture, hoping this wouldn't end badly, "No. No. Never."

You chimed in confidently, "No."

Bruce spoke up, "Guys, Nat told me about this and she already interrogated her. It really was an accident."

Everyone knew how that Nat was flawless with lie detecting. Thor sighed and Sam relaxed and said, "Damn good thing. If either of you were to ever hit her, I'd be the first in line to kick your ass."

"As you should, bro.", Chris nodded.

Sebastian shook his head, "I could never."

Sam addressed you, "Damn, baby. I'm sorry. It looks pretty nasty."

Sebastian interjected, looking at you, "And she's still as beautiful as ever." He winked at you.

You smiled sweetly at him, "Aw, thank you." You shifted yourself in Sebastian's lap so you could lay your head against the crook of his neck.

Sam agreed, "No doubt, no doubt." And flashed you a huge smile.

You returned his smile, "Thanks."

Sebastian lowered his voice as to not talk over the movie, "Let me see.", he touched one side of your jaw. You lifted your head and turned it. Even in the low light, he could tell it was darker. He sucked in a quiet breath through his teeth, "Jesus, it looks worse. Does it feel worse?"

"No,", you answered quietly, "it feels better."

"Good." He hugged you. "I'm so sorry, babe."

"It's okay. Stop fretting."

"I can't help it."

You laid your head back down and he tickled your back lightly with one hand, the other resting on your thigh.

Chris swigged the last swallow from his beer and stood from the other end of the sectional, "Beer run. Who needs one?"

You all raised a hand.

You chuckled, "I'll help you."

Chris nodded, "Awesome, thanks." He started for the stairs and you began to get up, when Sebastian spoke softly, "Hey,", he pulled you back to him and kissed your cheek, "Hurry back. I missed you."

You got up and rounded the couch, "Seb, I was only gone two hours."

"I know.", he called after you.

Once you meet up with Chris at the fridge, you asked quietly, "Is he ever gonna let up? He's fawning all over me and won't stop apologizing." The TV speakers were booming with violent sounds again.

He chuckled and started taking out bottles and handed one to you, "Not for a while, hon. He feels really terrible and I don't blame him. I'd be the same way."

You took another out of his hand, "I wish he'd just chill out though. I hate that he feels so awful about something that's really not a big deal."

He tilted his head and raised his eyebrows, "That's where you're wrong, sweetheart. It is a big deal. I'm not sure you realize just how much we care about you and hurting you, accident or not... I get why he's so upset over it."

You sighed.

"He'll chill out about it, just give him a little time." He placed a hand at the back of your head and gave you a quick kiss on the forehead, then picked the last beer out of the fridge. He was certain he was losing you now. He knew that not all of the extra attention Sebastian was giving you lately was out of guilt for hurting you.

Why did he decide to date? Why didn't he give it more time to see if there was anything between you? Why hadn't he been just a bit more forward with you? Why hadn't he just... talked to you about how he felt? That would've been the most sensible way to find out how you felt, but fear of you not feeling the same had stopped him. He took a deep breath to disguise a sigh as he followed you back down the stairs, _"Chris, you're a fuckin' meatball."_ , he thought to himself.

Over the next week, the bump on your head had gone down to normal and was just a greenish yellow bruise now; almost healed. You still hadn't found a job and you were really starting to get stressed about it. Try as you might, it was proving hard to get under control that week. On Thursday evening, you and Sebastian were home while Chris was at Sharon's; by now, they had officially become an item.

Sebastian was reading in his room and you were on your laptop on your bed, sitting against the headboard , trying to find articles that you thought would help your job search. You scooted to the edge of the bed, stood and put your laptop on your desk to use the bathroom. You were starting to feel antsy. By the time you got back to your room, you had been thinking way too much. The wave of panic and dread came fast and you started pacing, but only for a few steps. Suddenly, you felt sweaty, dizzy and nauseous and stopped at your desk chair, putting a hand on it to steady yourself. It was now that you thought to yourself that you should have let Seb know as soon as your thoughts started racing-- and then everything went black.

Sebastian's room was directly below yours. The loud thud startled him. He immediately jumped off his bed and hurried upstairs calling your name when he reached the top of the stairs, but he didn't get an answer. He increased his pace and went to your room to find you on the floor of your room and his heart started pounding in his chest, "Oh God!", he rushed to you and kneeled on the floor next to you, "No. No, no, no, no. (Y/N)!" He laid a hand on your shoulder and bent over you, putting his ear near your mouth; he could hear you breathing and felt your breath against his ear. You were still alive, thank God. He didn't know what had actually happened, so he didn't want to move you. He just gently rubbed your arm and stroked your hair lightly as he fished his phone out of his pocket, "It's okay, baby doll, Seb's here." He dialed 911.

When you regained consciousness you saw Sebastian's face above you. He was on the phone, staring down at you, "She's awake.", he said into the phone. He paused, looking like he was listening. "Okay... Okay... Yes, it is." He was stroking your hair when he addressed you, the phone still to his ear, "Hey, gorgeous. Just lay still. I've got paramedics coming to check you out, okay?" He seemed so calm, but what you didn't know is that inside, he was terrified. You were really scared too. What just happened?...and why?

"Okay.", you replied quietly.

The paramedics arrived a few minutes later and Sebastian sneaked a quick kiss on your head before moving out of their way. They checked your vitals and asked you what happened, also asking about the bruise on your face. You explained the bruise and what happened before you passed out. They also asked Sebastian some questions. They asked if you could stand so you could sit on your bed and you did, slowly, with the help of one of the paramedics. You felt so exhausted, you just wanted to sleep. They said they concluded that you had just fainted, though they couldn't diagnose why and they offered to take you to the hospital. You sighed, staring at the floor, thinking.

Sebastian knew exactly what was going through your mind, so he reassured you, "I'll pay the bill, babe."

The tears came in a flash and you covered one side of your face, which was twisting up in regret and embarrassment as you started sobbing.

He moved to you as the paramedics stood back, waiting for an answer. He crouched down next to you on the floor and gently removed your hand and held it so he could see your face. He put his other hand at the small of your back, his face sympathetic, "Doll, it's okay, please don't cry." You finally managed to look at him. The hand he had at your back moved to your face and he wiped the tears from your cheek with his thumb. "Let me take care of you. Anything you need. I want to... I need to."

His eyes were searching yours, waiting for something to click; for you to finally stop worrying about fucking money. He and Chris couldn't just let you fend for yourself with nothing and they sure as hell weren't going to neglect getting you medical attention. He wished you would just accept it and let them help you... Simply because they cared and money would never be more important than you.

After a moment, you nodded and whispered, "Okay." You looked to the paramedics and spoke up, "Yes, I think I should go."

Sebastian had walked you to the ambulance with an arm around your shoulders and his other hand under your elbow closest to him. He wanted to go with you in the ambulance, but they wouldn't let him. He pleaded with one of them for a moment, "Please, I need to make sure she's okay... She might need me."

"We have all the means to make sure she stays safe until she gets to the hospital should something happen along the way, but I honestly don't see that happening. She's completely stable right now. You can drive her if she agrees. Otherwise, you'll need to drive there yourself."

Sebastian thought it best that you be with medical professionals should anything more happen with you, so he reluctantly agreed to drive there by himself.

He hugged you tighter than ever and kissed your forehead twice, "I'll see you soon, doll. It's gonna be okay.", he wasn't even sure of that himself, so he forced a smile. The paramedics helped you into the back of the ambulance, you didn't need a stretcher.

Sebastian called Chris before he left the house, who left Sharon's immediately to go to the hospital.

While you rode in the ambulance, the paramedic in the back talked with you. He flashed you a friendly smile, "You're a lucky girl; you're boyfriend seems to take really good care of you."

"Oh. He's my friend, not my boyfriend.", you half smiled.

His eyebrows raised, "Well, he should be your boyfriend. Watching him with you, anyone could see you're the apple of his eye."

You smiled slightly, looking at the floor and nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, but I wanted to get something out today since I didn't manage to yesterday.
> 
> Let me know what you think!
> 
> Thanks for all the comments and kudos! You guys rock!
> 
> Hugs and love!


	15. Waiting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Refresher:
> 
> While you rode in the ambulance, the paramedic in the back talked with you. He flashed you a friendly smile, "You're a lucky girl; you're boyfriend seems to take really good care of you."
> 
> "Oh. He's my friend, not my boyfriend.", you half smiled.
> 
> His eyebrows raised, "Well, he should be your boyfriend. Watching him with you, anyone could see you're the apple of his eye."
> 
> You smiled slightly, looking at the floor and nodded.

DISCLAIMER: INFORMATION IN THIS CHAPTER MAY NOT BE ENTIRELY MEDICALLY ACCURATE FOR THE SAKE OF THE STORYLINE. PLEASE DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH CONCERNING HEALTH CONDITIONS AND WHAT TO DO WHEN THEY HAPPEN.

Sebastian got to the hospital and was approaching the ER entrance just as they were helping you out of the ambulance; they hadn't used sirens since you were stable and able bodied. He jogged to meet up with you. "Hey, babe.", he sighed, putting his arm around you and kissed your head as the paramedics escorted you inside, "I missed you."

You smiled, weakly, "You always miss me."

He nodded, "I really do."

He was trying hard to stay calm, his mind was racing over what could've caused you to pass out. He just prayed it wasn't serious.

Once you were checked in and in a bed in a curtained room, a nurse took your vitals and started a saline IV. Then a doctor came in and talked to you. He said your blood pressure was a little low and that could've contributed to the fainting. He asked if you've had anything else going on lately. You admitted you were stressed about finding a job and you had been having panic attacks. The doctor said that although fainting is rare with panic attacks, they can both still happen simultaneously as a reaction to stress. He said he'd like to do a scan of your brain, just to rule out anything serious.

You looked at Sebastian. He knew you were thinking about money... AGAIN. His eyebrows shot up, but not in surprise; his face was stern, "I said whatever you need."

You replied to the doctor, "Okay."

The doctor let you know that someone would be back to get you for the scan, he didn't say how long.

A nurse pulled back the curtain just enough to peak her head in, "There's a Chris Evans here to see you. Would you like me to bring him back?"

You nodded, "Yes, please."

The nurse returned and opened the curtain just enough to let Chris through. He gave you a gentle hug and pulled up a chair beside your bed. "Hey. How ya doin', hon?"

"I'm doing okay. Little nervous.", you attempted to smile. Sebastian had been standing on the other side of the bed. He sat on the edge and took your hand to calm your nerves.

Chris smiled reassuringly at you, "Ahhh,", he lifted a hand and swiped it downward in a dismissive gesture, "I'm sure everything's fine." He was hiding being worried to death pretty damn well.

"Where's Sharon?", you asked.

"At her house."

"You left her alone? To come to me? Great Chris, she hasn't even met me and now she already hates me."

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "Why would she hate you?"

"You don't know women very well. We get jealous of each other really easily."

He shook his head for a beat, like he was doing a double take, still looking confused, "You and the girls in our circle aren't jealous of each other."

You sighed, "Yeah, but that dynamic is a little different; none of us are unconventially close friends with a man another of us wants to be with."

Sebastian raised his eyebrows, titled his head and gave a nod as if to say your have a point.

"Shit.", sighed Chris. "But really, I couldn't not come to you. You're one of my two best friends."

"Why didn't you just bring her?", you asked.

"I dunno, I guess I didn't think that you'd want someone here that you didn't know... And I guess I thought on some level that it would be awkward, given the kind of friendship we have-- or had, before I became exclusive with her.", he dropped his head and looked down at the floor, like he was trying to hide his expression. He took a breath. "Hey, maybe we could go out to dinner tomorrow, the four of us. That way she can meet your guys and see how great you are."

You nodded a little, "That sounds nice."

You looked at Sebastian, who shrugged, "Yeah, sure."

"But Chris,", you added, "given what's already happened, I don't think any amount of me being great is gonna win her over."

Chris tilted his head at you, "Now, (Y/N), that's not fair. She may be a lot more amicable than you're assuming. Just give her a chance."

You shook your head, "You're right. I'm sorry. I will."

You got your brain scan done and you all waited in agony for the results... For an hour. When the doctor came in, Sebastian was sitting up in the bed next to you with his ankles crossed, feet barely hanging off the side and his arm around you. Chris was sitting in a chair next to the bed. You all were watching a dinky television on a swinging arm attached to the wall.

You all perked up as the doctor began, "Well, the scan was normal." A collective sigh of relief and he continued, "As I suspected before, that means that stress is the culprit of the fainting along with the panic attacks. Give it two weeks to get your stress managed and if you have any more episodes of panic attacks and/or fainting after two weeks, you need to get on medication. I want you to start taking B-12 and folic acid supplements for your low blood pressure. The stress management and supplements together will hopefully clear this all up for you. Okay?"

"Thank you.", you half smiled.

"You're welcome. Now, get better,", he gave your shin a friendly pat through the blanket, "you're a nice girl, but I don't wanna see you back here, okay?"

You chuckled, "Okay."

It was only 8:30 PM, so Chris went back to Sharon's to talk to her and ask her to come to dinner with the three of you the next day. She accepted, more out of curiosity about you than anything else.

Sebastian took you to the grocery store to get the supplements the doctor told you to take. He also led you to the ice cream aisle, told you to pick your favorite and informed you that the two of you would be watching a movie together, eating ice cream straight out of the carton and that you would be sleeping in his bed with him tonight. Things just kept happening that made it harder for him to feel like he could leave you alone for any amount of time. You both got home, got ready for bed and watched the movie in the family room in the dark.

Chris came home about 9:30 and just said goodnight then retired to his room for the night.

You and Sebastian both finished the ice cream about 30 minutes into the movie and in about 30 more, you fell asleep next to him, his arm around you and your head on his shoulder. Soon after you fell asleep, he also started to nod off and when his neck finally relaxed, his head quickly dropped backward, snapping him awake. He blinked wide eyed a couple of times and then shook you gently, "Doll. We need to go to bed."

You groaned.

"Come on.", he grunted as he slid away from you and stood.

You sat up, blinking and squinting and he scooped you up bridal style and carried you to his bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gahd! I tried to write more than this tonight... But, like the reader and Seb, I'm nodding off here. Goodnight!
> 
> Let me know what you think and thanks for all the comments and kudos!
> 
> Hugs and love!


	16. Dinner & Two Movies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Refresher:
> 
> You and Sebastian both finished the ice cream about 30 minutes into the movie and in about 30 more, you fell asleep next to him, his arm around you and your head on his shoulder. Soon after you fell asleep, he also started to nod off and when his neck finally relaxed, his head quickly dropped backward, snapping him awake. He blinked wide eyed a couple of times and then shook you gently, "Doll. We need to go to bed."
> 
> You groaned.
> 
> "Come on.", he grunted as he slid away from you and stood.
> 
> You sat up, blinking and squinting and he scooped you up bridal style and carried you to his bed.

The next day was Friday. You spent the morning applying for more jobs and checking back with salons you had visited before. Sebastian took the day off to drive you around; he wasn't over what had happened the night before.

That evening, you and Sebastian met up with Chris and Sharon at an Italian restaurant. At the entrance, before being seated, Chris introduced you all, you shook hands with her and said the usual pleasantries. Sebastian did the same. You would have hugged her to make her feel more comfortable, but you weren't sure if she would welcome that. So, handshake and big smile it is.

Once you were seated, you across from her and Sebastian across from Chris, she started, "It's so nice to finally meet the people that mean so much to Chris.", she smiled. She was looking at Sebastian when she said the first of her statement and her eyes went to you when she said "mean so much to Chris". You smiled, but unfortunately, it wasn't genuine because you were distracted by your thoughts. You had seen something in her eyes; resentment? She didn't hold eye contact with you long, so it was hard to tell, but it wasn't good.

Great.

You reminded yourself to just be your friendly, caring self and try not to let your own jealousy of losing your Chris affection get in the way.

Yeah, it was selfish for you to be jealous. You really did want him to be happy, but he completed the support system you had had for over a year and it just felt unbalanced without him. Sure, he was still supportive, but not in the same way. You were big on physical contact; you thrived on it, humans NEED physical contact with others to survive. You believed that everyone was connected, but those connections could be strengthened through contact... And now one of the connections you had grown used to was gone. But, those beliefs are why you believed that hugging Sharon would have established a connection and rapport between you to help things along.

Sebastian looked at you and as if reading your thoughts, or probably just your face, he put an arm around you and kissed your temple to help level you. He smiled at Sharon, "So what do you do, Sharon?"

You all loosened up over the course of the meal, less Sebastian, he was always kind of on the 'loose' side in social situations anyway. You had found that Sharon was actually really sweet and pretty funny, too. She seemed more comfortable, but there was still some reservation towards you.

Once dinner was over, you all walked out of the restaurant and down the long sidewalk to the parking lot. Chris and Sharon were holding hands, her head against his shoulder while Chris and Seb talked. You saw Sebastian take out the mint candy he'd gotten from the bowl at the hostess station before you all left, he had handed you one then as well. You asked him, "Can I have that?"

His brows furrowed, "Where's yours?"

"I ate it.", you opened your mouth and stuck out your tongue. "Ahhhhh.", then you snatched the candy out of his hand and ran. He took off after you. Even though you were a runner yourself, he was also a runner and his legs were longer, so he caught up to you pretty quickly. He threw his arms around you tight from behind and tried getting a hold of your wiggly little hand holding the mint in a death grip. You were both shouting and laughing.

Chris and Sharon were quite a ways back behind the two of you since you and Sebstian ran a bit far. They were just strolling, chuckling and watching your antics off in the distance.

Sebastian brought out the big guns and started tickling your side and stomach with one hand while still holding you snug with the other. You hunched over slightly in an attempt to protect yourself from the "attack" and he was hunched over you, since he was holding you firmly against his front. You were shrieking and laughing uncontrollably, trying to talk through it, "Seb! Ahahaha! It's mine!"

He was unrelenting, you had to win. You cried out, "Oh! Ow!"

He stopped instantaneously, "Oh God, sweetie, I'm sorry.", he straightened, stepped to your side and hugged you, tilting his head to the side and down to look at you.

You smiled slightly and said, "I was just playing to get you to stop."

He pulled back, his hands still lightly on you. He looked down at you as you looked up at him, his face was showing hurt and a hint of anger. "If you ever want me to stop anything, just tell me and I will in a heartbeat. And don't make me think that I've hurt you to get what you want. Hurting you is not a joke."

You nodded apologetically, "Of course, I'm really sorry. That was way out of line."

He was still standing to your side as he pulled you to him again and you tucked your arms against yourself in his embrace. His head was dipped down, his lips against your hair, close to your ear, "Don't ever do that again. Please.", he pleaded softly.

You nodded against him, "I promise.", you said quietly.

You gave him back his mint. He released you and smiled, "Thank you." He unwrapped it, popped it in his mouth and gave you a chuck under the chin with a finger, then winked.

Chris and Sharon were just a few steps away and when they reached the two of you, they said goodnight and left.

They got to Chris's car and he opened the door for her, then got in himself. As Chris backed out of the parking spot, Sharon spoke, "She's pretty."

Chris knew this was a test. He may not know a lot about a woman's psyche, but this was an easy trap to spot. He shifted the car and drove foward, then took her hand. His eye contact and smile where quick, " _You're_ pretty, Sharon." He couldn't bring himself to call her by anything but her name, just didn't feel right yet. He also didn't deny your beauty or compare it to hers; that wasn't how he thought, even though he knew that's what she was fishing for.

She seemed pleased by his reaction and she smiled. Sharon had noticed the amount of affection Sebastian had shown you during dinner and having seen those shenannigans and that embrace on the way to the car, she wondered, "So are (Y/N) and Sebastian together?"

He shook his head, slightly, "Nope, just close friends."

Her expression changed to panic with a hint of anger and hurt, "Is that the kind of friend you are with her? You've referred to the her as 'close' before."

Chris sighed, _'Here we go.'_ , he thought. He wasn't going to lie to her, so this could be bumpy, "No, it isn't. I used to be like that with her- Well, not quite like that; Seb is a bit overzealous."

He glanced at her. She looked hurt, so he continued, squeezing her hand, "Once I was with you, that all stopped. It's like an unspoken rule when her or I date, same with Seb. Now, she may get a hug when we meet or part, or a friendly touch on the arm or back, just like any of my other friends, even the guys, but that's about it."

He looked at her again, she was nodding, staring at her lap. He looked back to the road, "I'm with you now Sharon, you have nothing to worry about."

"Okay.", she nodded hesitantly. She believed him, but she needed time to get her jealousy in check.

That night Chris didn't come home. It was the first night since he started seeing Sharon that he stayed at her house. You were watching a movie on TV while sitting on your bed and you couldn't stop thinking about it, it made you uneasy. _'Are they having sex? God, I hope not. Of course they are, why else would he stay over?'_ Why were you obsessing over your friend's sex life? You never had before. Your train of thought was interrupted by Sebastian flopping down onto your bed next to you.

"Hey, sweets.", he was laying on his side, leaning on on an elbow and put his head against your arm.

"Hiyo! What's up?", replied playfully, smiling at him.

He lifted his head and grinned so wide at your cuteness, "Night watch. I'm here to take up half your bed- okay,", he cocked an eyebrow for a second, "probably more than half, for the rest of the night. Not letting you out of my sight yet. What we watching?"

"The Help. I love this movie." You had just started it.

Sebastian folded a pillow behind his upper back against the headboard, laying on his back. You sat against the headboard, a pillow behind your back so that you could be turned toward Sebastian enough to rest you legs over his stomach and cross your ankles. When you did, he held his hands up slightly for a moment like he didn't know where to put them. You were wearing short little jersey shorts for bed and your smooth thighs were _right there_. It made him want to do things. Very specific things. But, he opted instead to rest the hand closest to your feet on your shin and the other on his own chest.

You had noticed his reaction and asked, "Everything okay?"

He nodded and pulled the corners of his mouth downward, "Yep." He then gave you tight lipped smile and turned his attention back to the TV.

At some point during the movie you shifted, lifting your legs off of him and he frowned internally at the loss of those lovely legs. You had to move because your butt started falling asleep on one side. You sat back against the pillow and headboard with your feet pointing at the foot of the bed and crossed your ankles, switching which foot was on top from before.

He immediately saw an opportunity and put his pillow in your lap, scooted himself down a bit and laid his head down. Now you didn't know what to do with your hands for a second, you put one on his shoulder and the other arm against your stomach and the edge of his pillow. His lower arm snaked up under your thighs just enough to reach out the other side of them both and tickle the outer side of your one thigh with his fingertips by curling and uncurling his fingers. He really wanted your legs to be touching him and he wanted to be touching them back; God, they were so soft.

Your breath had hitched so quietly, but it didn't get past him, "Everything okay?", he smirked without looking at you, intentionally repeating what you had said earlier.

You sighed, looking down at the side of his face with narrow eyes, "Yes. Just fine."

A good chunk of time had passed and you just couldn't help yourself anymore. You moved the hand that was against your stomach to his head and starting at his hairline, you raked your fingertips back through his hair lightly. You saw his eyes close as he took in a long, deep breath and let it out along with a hum, "Mmmm, that's feels so good."

You smiled. While you continued playing with his hair, he took your hand from his shoulder and brought it to his lips, kissing your knuckles softly. The butterflies... Oh my God, the butterflies. He put your hand back and continued to revel in your touch.

Once the credits started rolling on the movie, Sebastian sat up, "Wanna watch another one?"

"Yeah.", you smiled brightly.

You were both really loving this cuddle session and wanted any excuse to continue. The fact that it had been taken up a notch from the usual made it more intimate, comforting... And a bit arousing.

You both fell asleep during the second movie, he on his back, head against the headboard again and you curled up in a little ball on your side with your head and a hand on his stomach.

He had played with your hair and tickled your back, arm, shoulder... your neck. It had sent delicious heat through your whole body to the point where you thought you'd never fall asleep. But, after his hand stopped moving and rested on your side, you felt so safe and comfortable with him that you went out like a light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, reader and Seb are a couple of teenagers... Isn't it fun?! Also, wow, things just keep consistently crawling along... They're moving, but like molasses. I love it.
> 
> Let me know what you think!
> 
> Thanks for the comments and kudos!
> 
> Hugs and love!❤️
> 
> ETA- I started the next chapter last night and I'm uber excited to finish it! I really think it's gonna be a good one! But it's gonna be long, so thank you in advance for your patience! ❤️


	17. Normal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this is one of the huge, main scenes I had in mind when I started this story. I'm so excited to post it for you guys! Enjoy!
> 
> Refresher:
> 
> You were both really loving this cuddle session and wanted any excuse to continue. The fact that it had been taken up a notch from the usual made it more intimate, comforting... And a bit arousing.
> 
> You both fell asleep during the second movie, he on his back, head against the headboard again and you curled up in a little ball on your side with your head and a hand on his stomach.
> 
> He had played with your hair and tickled your back, arm, shoulder... your neck. It had sent delicious heat through your whole body to the point where you thought you'd never fall asleep. But, after his hand stopped moving and rested on your side, you felt so safe and comfortable with him that you went out like a light.

DISCLAIMER: INFORMATION IN THIS CHAPTER MAY NOT BE ENTIRELY MEDICALLY ACCURATE FOR THE SAKE OF THE STORYLINE. PLEASE DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH CONCERNING HEALTH CONDITIONS AND WHAT TO DO WHEN THEY HAPPEN.

NOTE: I also feel I should clarify; reader and Seb did NOT have sex, they just had intimate cuddles. 

"What is that?", Sebastian's gravelly voice woke you. It was barely dawn. You lifted your head to look up at him; sometime during the night, the two of you moved so your were laying in the bed normally, he on his back with his arm around you and your head on his shoulder. You were both sharing a small throw blanket from your bed, since you never got under the covers.

He was listening and then you heard a knocking sound from the outside of the house on the wall of your room. "What the fuck _is that_?!", he exclaimed.

You were blinking and listening as he got up from under you to go out the back door and investigate, "Be right back, babe."

You heard the back door open and close, silence for about 10 seconds, then the back door opened and closed again. He padded back into your room and got back under the blanket with you. You moved to let him get back in place and you laid on him again, "Fuckin' woodpecker pecking the eave. It's aluminum. Stupid bird. It flew off when I came around the corner.", he said groggily and closed his eyes.

You laughed and he hushed you, "Shhh...", he kissed your forehead, "Go back to sleep, doll."

The next time you woke up it was on your own. You left Sebastian sleeping in the bed, quietly closing the door and you went into the bathroom to pee. You started making coffee and you paused when you heard the front door unlock, open and close softly. Chris came in quietly and entered the kitchen, hanging his keys on it's hook when he saw you, "Oh, morning (Y/N).", he barely smiled.

"Morning." You continued making coffee now, and asked, "Everything okay?"

He shrugged out of his jacket, "Yeah, everything's fine.", he gave you a bigger smile this time and walked into his room to toss his jacket on his bed while you finished pouring water in the coffee maker and turned it on. He came back out and gave you a friendly hug. He smelled like her perfume... But not like sex. _'Guess he could've showered, but he's home pretty early- (Y/N)! Stop thinking about it! It shouldn't matter.'_ But it did; you missed the way things used to be.

Sebastian came out of your room and stopped only a couple steps out of the door and looked at you both, blinking, his brows furrowed, his face rigid and grumpy... And that hair, that crazy ass hair. He stood there for a couple beats, looking at your both. You and Chris were just waiting and anticipating when and what he might say, his face didn't change at all as he spoke, "Why do you guys always have to wake me up with your talking?"

You both laughed.

"Mornin', dude.", Chris said.

"Morning.", he mumbled as he started moving forward, pulling one corner of his mouth up in a half smile, his eyes closing as he did.

Chris went into the bathroom and shut the door as Sebastian made his way to you while you leaned your front against the island and waited for the coffee to brew. He stood behind you, placing his hands on your arms just below your shoulders. He nuzzled just behind your ear through your hair as he whispered, "Thanks for last night, doll. Wanna do it again tonight?"

You shivered and let out a quiet chuckle.

The toilet flushed in the bathroom and Sebastian kissed your head and made his way in that direction so he could use the bathroom as well.

Chris opened the door and started, "Since we've got everyone coming over tonight to hang out, anything you guys want to get done beforehand?"

"Ooh!", you squealed and clapped once, "Can I play hosty lady?!"

Chris shook his head, hiding a laugh, then failing, "What is 'hosty lady'?"

"Can I make a buncha food?"

"Sure.", he chuckled pouring cups of coffee.

Sebastian had put going pee on hold momentarily, in lieu of the conversation, resting his elbows on the island opposite you and Chris, "I can take you to the store to get food stuff, babe. We need more firewood and beer, lots of beer."

Chris addressed Sebastian while he handed you a cup of coffee and then put one in front of Sebastian, "It's B.Y.O.B., bro.", he took a sip of coffee.

Sebastian picked up his own cup and replied, "Well, we still need to B.O.O.B.", he casually took a sip of his own coffee as you snorted, giggling and Chris had to spit his coffee back in his cup and he started laughing.

"Boob?!", Chris was howling with laughter by now, "Nice one, Seb."

Sebastian smiled smugly and nodded, lifting his cup, "Thanks.", then he laughed as well.

You all three decided eat a quick breakfast and go for a run together through the neighborhood before the sun got any higher, making it hot. It was a beautiful morning too. They guys ran a little slower to compensate for you shorter legs, but you still had to push a little harder than you were used to. You all usually ran solo or the guys with other taller guy friends. You kept up for the first two miles, then had to let them know that you had to slow down. They gladly came down to your pace for the last mile. You all got back home and took turns showering. The guys told you to go first. Once you got out, Seb went next, down in his own bathroom, so that you and he could leave for the store soon.

Once you both got back, you got busy making appetizers and a few desserts in the kitchen. The guys offered to help, but as per usual, you declined their help. You loved making food and you were being selfish; you wanted all the credit should anyone or everyone love what you made. You told the guys that if they were good though, that you'd let them do dishes. They agreed without hesitation. It took you damn near all day to get it all made, but it was fun. They guys then did the dishes while you all talked and you sat at the island having your second cup of coffee for the day.

Everyone came over about 7 PM, Sharon included. There was the fire, music, beers, and as per usual, the hard stuff for shots later.

You had laid your whole spread of food out on the island and you were pretty damn proud of it. Everyone was still gathered in the kitchen from arriving, so it was a little loud with all the voices and music.

You and Maria were talking at the island when Tony came by, beer in hand and hugged you around the shoulders, "How you doing, kid? You really got our guys over there worried and missing a lot of work.", he gestured to Chris and Sebastian who were on the other side of the kitchen. Your eyebrows shot up and your mouth opened to apologize, but before you could, he started again, "I'm kidding, they can take all the time they need to see to you. How are you?"

You smiled, "I'm doing pretty good, Tony. Thank you."

"Wonderful!", he said, plucking a tiny, bite sized, pink frosted sugar cookie square from it's platter and popping it in his mouth. He chewed, his face surprised. When he swallowed, he asked you, "(Y/N), where did you get these? It tastes _and feels_ exactly like those big pink sugar cookies!" He popped another into his mouth.

You smiled, "I made them."

His brows furrowed, "From a package?"

You chuckled, "No, from scratch."

"So good." He spotted something else, "Sushi rolls? Did you make the sushi? You didn't make the sushi.", he picked one up and placed in his mouth.

He was so silly, he always made you laugh, "I made all of it, Tony."

His eyes rolled back, he titled his head and hummed as he chewed, "Mm. Hey!", he yelled across the room at Chris and Sebastian, "This girl's a keeper!", pointing down at you, "Don't you guys let her go!"

Chris looked at Sharon standing next to him. She was looking at Chris, clearly bothered by what Tony had said. He just shook his head with an expression that said 'don't worry about it'. Sebastian hollered back, "Wasn't planning on it!", then lifted his beer.

A couple hours later, everyone had had their fair share of beer an some had taken shots. You steered clear of the shots yourself that night and had only had a few beers.

It was dark by now. A few people were hanging out in the chairs on the deck, Bruce and Nat were swinging and cuddling in the hammock at the back of the yard. Every once in a while, one to a few people would wander into the house for more food or to use the restroom.

You were standing around the fire with Chris, Sharon, Sam, Thor, Maria, Tony, Clint and Laura. There were no chairs close by at the moment. Sebastian was also there, standing next to you and talking. Everyone was kind of talking to everyone. There wasn't a whole lot of rhyme or reason to the conversation. You saw Sharon get up on her toes a little to say something into Chris's ear as he put his arm around the back of her waist, leaning over a little to hear her, then his eyebrows shot up and he smiled. He said something back into her ear and kissed her head. It made your heart ache. You stared at the fire, trying to get your emotions in check and then it hit you...

Your heart started pounding, your breath was increasing and then the dread came. _'No, no, no...'_ , you pleaded silently in your head as you started to shake slightly. You tried slowing your breathing and were failing. _'Fuck! Why can't I do this?'_ You started to sweat and feel sick... dizzy-- you knew what was coming, _'No.'_

It had come on and escalated in only a few short moments. Chris was standing almost directly across the fire from you and he glanced at you, but it turned into a concerned gaze when he noticed something was off. It all happened so fast. He feared he wouldn't get to you in time and you looked like you were going to pass out, so he called out, "Seb!" When Sebastian's head snapped to look at Chris, Chris gestured at you, his face worried as he started to move around the fire toward you.

Sebastian turned his head just in time to see you start to crumple, "Shit!" In a matter of one second, he dropped his beer, took a step toward you and caught you, your head falling back. He picked you up in his arms and lowered you both to the ground gently, but quickly so he could sit cross-legged and hold you in his lap. He supported your head against his shoulder, "God.", he whispered. 

By then, Chris was crouched in front of you both, more to be a supportive presence than anything, but also to be there should Sebastian need help. This was the first time that Chris had seen you passed out... And it really scared him.

Everyone had panicked themselves and started to gather around exclaiming and asking questions.

Sebastian spoke loud and firm, "Just give us some space for a minute, please." They all complied, some just stepping back a ways and others went to sit in chairs and wait; everyone was worried, even Sharon. Most knew what you had been going through, a couple didn't. Those who did know explained quietly to the others to try to ease them.

Sebastian checked for your breath; you were breathing. He wrapped his arms around you, kissed your head a couple times and started cooing, trying to control his own panic, "Seb's here, baby doll. I've got you... I've got you." He knew you couldn't hear him, but he needed to say it just in case... and for himself. He rested his head against the top of yours, closed his eyes and waited. All he could do was wait for you wake up and it was killing him.

The two minutes you were out felt like eternity to the guys. You're eyes fluttered open, uncontrollably rolling around in your head trying to focus and closing again.

Sebastian had been watching your face, waiting for you to wake up, "(Y/N)? Doll? You with me?", he stroked your hair.

You struggled to open your eyes again, managing to do so for only a quick moment and they closed again. You were mostly conscious now, but so tired. You murmured quietly, "Seb?"

His brows pulled together in simultaneous worry and relief as he replied softly, resting his cheek on your head, "Yeah, baby. I'm here." You whimpered and he pulled his head back to look at you, his worry increased, "What's wrong, honey?" He stroked the side of your face gently.

"Headache.", you managed quietly, your face pained; this was an excruciating headache.

He hugged you firmly in his arms, "Okay, we'll take care of it." He looked to Chris and spoke quietly, "Chris, can you take her to lay down, please? I need a minute."

Chris still looked pained himself, "Of course.", he replied. He scooped you up out of Sebastian's lap and stood. As he carried you into the house, you were falling in and out of consciousness, but not from fainting; you were just so damn tired. Sharon and Nat followed Chris inside.

Sebastian stayed sitting where he was and rested his elbows on his knees, he laid his face in his hands and took a deep breath.

Tony and Pepper approached him, Tony squatting next to him and putting a hand on his back, "You okay, Seb?"

Sebastian, turned his head for a moment to look at Tony and then turned back to the ground in front of him, his elbows still on his knees. He rubbed a hand across his mouth harshly and then closed it, holding the fist to his lips. He was fighting back tears. He closed his eyes and shook his head gently, his hand moving to his forehead, "Watching her go through this is killing me."

Tony's face showed sympathy. "Just keep taking care of her like you have been; you're doing great. This can pass and if it doesn't, there are ways to help it stop. You'll all get it figured out. And if you guys need help from us,", he gestured to Pepper, "monetary or otherwise- Anything at all, don't hesitate to ask. We care about all of you." Pepper nodded in agreement.

Meanwhile, as Chris had taken you into his room, Natasha had followed him in and asked him, "What can I do? Does she need anything?". Your best girlfriend was worried, but she kept a straight head in a sticky situation.

Chris laid you on his bed, Sharon looking in from just outside the doorway as he answered Nat, "A cool cloth, a glass of water and pain relievers." Nat rushed out to get everything as Chris layed down on the bed next to you, propped up on his elbow. You whimpered at the stabbing pain in your head again, your eyes closed, not really able to notice anything else. Chris's brows furrowed at the sound and he instinctually moved closer, enveloping you in his arms, pulling you into his chest. Nat returned with everything. She set the water and pain relievers on the night stand and handed Chris the cloth, then stepped back to the foot of the bed, near the door to wait.

Chris started stroking the cloth gently down the side of your face. The coolness pulled you away from the pain long enough to notice his smell. You hummed, "Chris.", you said softly against his chest. He knew he had an audience, so he hid his reaction to you saying his name so softly. He missed hearing that so much... And holding you.

"Yeah. I'm here, hon. Just rest."

Watching all of this had proved to be too much for Sharon. She started quickly for the front door. Nat had seen her rush away and followed her.

"Shit.", Chris muttered under his breath. He needed to get up to talk to Sharon, but he wasn't going to leave you alone. Seb should be in soon. Hopefully, Nat could save his ass until he got there.

"Sharon! Sharon, wait.", Nat quickly caught up to her going through the dining room and gently grabbing her arm once she reached the living room.

Sharon turned, she had tears in her eyes, "I can't. It's too much. I can't handle him being like that with her."

Nat tried to talk her down, "Hey, they're just friends. I know that he has hardly even touched her since he's starting seeing you. But, this-- Sharon, you have to understand that this is a more serious circumstance and he's going to react accordingly. He's not just going to ignore her in a situation like this; he's going to do whatever it takes to help. You should feel lucky that a stand up guy like him who does anything to help his friends chose you... and know that if you gave him the chance, he'd do the same for you."

Just as Sharon had stormed away amd Nat followed her, Sebastian entered the room and went to your side, laying down. Chris handed him the cloth and Sebastian took it. Chris asked, "You alright, bro?"

Sebastian nodded and sighed, "Yeah." He nestled into you from behind and wrapped his arms around you as you hummed and gripped his forearm weakly, then he kissed your head. He moved your hair off your neck and started gently wiping it with the cloth.

Chris continued as he got up, "The water and pain relievers are on the nightstand when she wakes enough to take them. I gotta go put out a fire...", he started for the door.

"Yeah, I saw that." Sebastian said, his eyes following after Chris. "Good luck, man."

Chris went into the living room and looked at Sharon, then Natasha, "Nat, can you give us a minute, please?"

"Sure.", she replied softly and turned to go sit with you and Sebastian on Chris's bed.

Sharon's face showed hurt and anger.

Chris sighed, "I know I told you that everything stopped when I started seeing you, and it did. But, I can't stop being there for her to the fullest when she needs me during something like this."

"Why can't Sebastian handle it?", she sniffed.

Chris's eyebrows raised and his voice became slightly louder and strained as he held his hands out from his hips, "Seb needed me too! You saw how wrecked he was seeing her go through that! He needed me to take over for him!"

She looked defensive now, trying to hold her own, "This isn't normal, Chris."

"It is for me, for the three of us. I stopped doing anything unconventional for a friendship once I started seeing you. But this- tonight... It may happen again and I'm not going to stop being there for her if she needs me; she's still one of my best friends. I need you to accept that. Please."

She hung her head and sniffed, "I don't think I can." She turned without looking at him, grabbed her purse off the coat rack near the door and left.

Chris was standing with his hands on his hips. He pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut and muttered to himself, "Fuck!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. I hope you all loved this as much as I loved writing it.
> 
> Please let me know what you think.
> 
> You guys are awesome!
> 
> Hugs and love! <3
> 
> Just wanted to share; came across this video and starting at 9:20 there's a voice over that sounds like a radio interview with Seb. Oh man, I love it. https://youtu.be/jFXfXjg1KYk


	18. Forward or Backward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Refresher:
> 
> She looked defensive now, trying to hold her own, "This isn't normal, Chris."
> 
> "It is for me, for the three of us. I stopped doing anything unconventional for a friendship once I started seeing you. But this- tonight... It may happen again and I'm not going to stop being there for her if she needs me; she's still one of my best friends. I need you to accept that. Please."
> 
> She hung her head and sniffed, "I don't think I can." She turned without looking at him, grabbed her purse off the coat rack near the door and left.
> 
> Chris was standing with his hands on his hips. He pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut and muttered to himself, "Fuck!"

Chris came back to his room. He and Sebastian made eye contact. Chris shook his head, his face disappointed. Sebastian sighed and hitched his mouth to one side as a gesture of sympathy.

You were awake now, but groggy. My God, that one really sapped your energy. Nat was sitting against the headboard, holding your hand near your shoulder on the bed, Sebastian was still holding you. You had taken the pain relievers and it would be a while before they worked. You hoped the headache would subside before then. At least it was a bit milder now.

Chris came around the bed to Nat's side and looked down at her. He cocked and eye brow, "You're in my spot."

Nat grinned slyly, "You might have to fight me for it, Evans."

Sebastian chuckled and you smiled, but Chris only feigned a smile, hitching his head in the direction away from her, "Come on, please." He wasn't really in a joking mood. He put out a hand to help her up.

She took his hand and got up, giving his arm a reassuring double pat, "I'll go let everyone know that (Y/N)'s doing okay."

Chris sat down next to you as Nat had been and took your hand that she had been holding. You looked up at him. "Seb told me what was happening with Sharon. I'm so sorry, Chris. It's my fault."

Sebastian shook his head in disagreement and Chris spoke looking down at you, "No, sweetheart, it's not. Anyone who can't accept that I'll be there for you when you need me in times like this isn't right for me."

You smiled a little. You felt badly that it happened because of you. "Though I'm really sorry that it happened, I have to admit I'm glad to have you back. I've really missed the way it used to be."

"Me too.", Chris nodded, letting go of your hand and stroking your hair.

Sebastian looked down, thinking, _'The way it used to be? Before Sharon? But, we've gotten closer since then. Does she not want that anymore?... The way it used to be. She wants to go back. She wants Chris around as much as me again... Just friends. Still.'_

 _'I'll give her some time. Maybe she'll get there if she can go at her own pace. Maybe it's just too much for her right now. I don't want to make things difficult for her by bringing it up and giving her more to worry about.'_. He looked at your angelic face, your eyes closed now. _'Whatever she needs. I'll be whatever she needs.'_

You and the guys got up after about 5 minutes of silence. Things felt strange with both of them now. You hoped it would pass... And soon. You wanted your boys back, like it used to be.

Chris helped you up to make sure you were steady and walked you to the back of the house with a hand under your elbow and an arm around your shoulders. You all went back outside, everyone smiled in your direction and Thor asked, "How are you, (Y/N)?"

You smiled, "I'm okay now, thank you."

Sebastian got you a chair to sit in in front of the fire and crouched down in front of you. "You need anything, doll?", he was smiling slightly, but he looked upset underneath it all. No surprise though, it had been a chaotic night for everyone.

"A water would be nice.", you replied. He nodded as you continued, "And can you sit with me?"

"Of course, babe." He stood and turned when you grabbed his hand.

"Seb-"

He crouched back down, looking at you expectantly, "Yeah?"

"Thank you for being my rock."

He gave you a tight lipped smile, like he was holding something back, but it was a genuine smile. He placed a hand against your cheek, "Whatever you need." He stood and disappeared into the house for your water.

The party had significantly mellowed since your episode, but everyone was still enjoying each other's company.

People left gradually before it got too late and once they'd all left, you asked the guys if they would sleep in your bed with you. You needed them both now. They agreed, but damn it, things still felt weird. Maybe sleeping all together and that contact would have you all back to yourselves by the morning.

Sebastian was in the bathroom downstairs brushing his teeth when Chris came in to climb in the bed with you in the dark, a hint of moonlight barely illuminating the room through your window blinds. When he got in, you were on your back and he pulled you to him, his forehead coming to rest on your temple. He whispered, "I really missed you, (Y/N)."

You took a deep breath and whispered back, "I missed you too, Chris. Goodnight."

He smiled in the dim light and kissed your temple, then put his forehead back against it, "Nite, sweetheart."

He really did like Sharon and he was still upset about how things had gone. But you were more to him and he was so happy to be near you again.

Sebastian came in and rounded the foot of the bed to go to your other side. He got in and pulled the covers over himself. Chris was kind of hogging you, his arm already wrapped around your waist. Seb wasn't sure where he could fit and he felt like he shouldn't be there, so he just sidled his front up against your side, feeling awkward, but he wanted to be with you, especially after what had happened to you that night. You caught him off guard when you turned into him, Chris just shifted a little closer to you and his hand was still at your waist, his face near the back of your head now. 

You postioned yourself at just the right level so that your forehead could rest against Sebastian's lips, your soft breath caressing his neck. You tucked your arms into your chest and he wrapped his arm around your arm and back. He could see now that you still wanted him near and he started to feel better; like he felt before. Before was good. He reminded himself to just give it time and live in the moment, because this moment was perfect. "Nite, Sebby.", you whispered.

He pressed a kiss to your forehead effortlessly, since your forehead was already there. As far as he was concerned, that's right where it belonged, "Goodnight, baby doll."

Yes. He was feeling much better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is such a short chapter, but it really felt like the perfect place to end it.
> 
> Aw, poor Sebby; he seemed so close, didn't he? I really felt bad for him as I wrote this. I was having big Sebby feels.
> 
> A few of you were begging me in recent chapters to not make her choose between her boys. Little did you know, I had planned to pull things back at this point all along.
> 
> Trust mama, little ones. I'll write you a great story! LOL. 
> 
> Please keep letting me know what you think, it keeps me going and helps my story development.
> 
> Thanks for all the comments and kudos! I couldn't ask for better readers!
> 
> Hugs and love! <3


	19. Sunny Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Refresher:
> 
> You postioned yourself at just the right level so that your forehead could rest against Sebastian's lips, your soft breath caressing his neck. You tucked your arms into your chest and he wrapped his arm around your arm and back. He could see now that you still wanted him near and he started to feel better; like he felt before. Before was good. He reminded himself to just give it time and live in the moment, because this moment was perfect. "Nite, Sebby.", you whispered.
> 
> He pressed a kiss to your forehead effortlessly, since your forehead was already there. As far as he was concerned, that's right where it belonged, "Goodnight, baby doll."
> 
> Yes. He was feeling much better.

You woke up to the sun streaming into the room and Chris nuzzling your neck as you lay on your back, "Morning, beautiful."

You smiled softly and blinked without moving, "Morning." You noticed he was being a bit more affectionate and forward than usual, probably because he had missed being close to you over the last couple weeks.

You turned your head to your other side to see that Sebastian wasn't in the bed and heard the usual noises of someone taking a turn to make breakfast out in the kitchen.

Chris kissed your head and got up to pee, get dressed and brush his teeth. You heard the guys exchange morning greetings, the bathroom door shut, and then you heard bare feet approaching.

Sebastian entered the room and ripped the covers back, "Come on, sleepy head! You're burnin' daylight!"

You rolled over and groaned, pulling a pillow over your head, your voice muffled, "It's Sundayyyy..."

He layed behind you, space between you, propped up on an elbow, "Okay," he chuckled, "Then I won't make you run with me today. Come on.", he leaned close to the pillow on your head, "I made freeench tooooast."

You perked up just enough to let the pillow clear your face, "Will you bring it to me in bed?"

He laughed, "No. We gotta get moving. We're going to the park with the gang today; get some sun and play some volleyball!", he got up on his knees, hunched over you and started tickling you mercilessly.

You screeched and screamed, the pillow flying away from your head in your struggle. You curled up in a ball as best you could while laughing, "Seb! Stop!" ...and he did, just like he said he would anytime you told him to stop anything.

Chris's voice travelled from the cracked door of his bedroom, "Everything okay in there?"

Sebastian let you answer and you shouted, "Yes!"

He was grinning when he leaned over you, "You're such a fun doll to play with.", he kissed your head and helped you off the bed.

You looked at him and cocked your head to one side noticing that he was in need of a haircut, seemed he let it go for longer than usual, "You need me to cut your hair?", you gently grabbed a fistful on the top of his head and pulled upward, letting the strands fall, or stick up, where they may. "You're getting kinda crazy- crazier than usual up here, Stan."

You did nails, but you knew how to cut hair too because you took the full cosmetology course and you would love an excuse to touch his hair more.

He smiled down at you, smoothing his hair back with a hand, "Nah, gonna try something new, grow it out."

Now that you thought of it, his face was looking a bit more scruffy than usual too, like he skipped a couple days of shaving. You made a light pinching motion on his dimpled chin with yor thumb and finger a couple times, "This too?", you chuckled quietly.

"Maybe a little.", he looked at you, his face soft. He was really enjoying these touches from you.

You both went to the kitchen while you continued, "At least let me keep the underside kept up until it grows out enough. Otherwise you'll have a funky looking mullet."

He laughed as he put his hand to your lower back as you both walked further into the kitchen, "No party in the back for me, huh?" He was going to turn that joke into an innuendo by playfully smacking your ass, but he controlled himself.

You laughed and stopped at the coffee maker as he went to the stove to dish up breakfast. Chris came out of his room and went straight to you. He curled an arm gently around your neck and pulled you to him and you placed a hand on his forearm. He dipped his head down and planted his lips firmly on your cheek. He gave you a quick succession of kisses, his lips never breaking contact as you giggled. He traded contact with your cheek to rest his forehead against your head as you poured coffee, "Just makin' up for lost time.", he gave you one more on the head, "And one to grow on.", he took the coffee cup you handed him. "Thanks, hon. Oh, my bad. You're done growing.", he chuckled.

"And I stopped at the perfect height, I think."

"I agree.", he smiled. You weren't terribly tiny, but still short compared to their respective six feet of height.

Sebastian had just sat after getting the full plates to the table. You and Chris headed to the table with coffees in hand, you had Sebastian's as well as your own. Chris put a hand next to his mouth and mock shouted as you followed him, "Pocket sized polisher comin' through!"

You all laughed.

After breakfast, you helped Chris clean up, rinse dishes and load the dishwasher while Sebastian went downstairs to get himself ready for the day and gather some stuff for the park.

Chris grabbed the last of the dishes off the table and walked to the sink where you were rinsing. He set the plates down next to the sink and reached to take the rinsing brush, "I can rinse, you load."

You chuckled and swiped the brush away, "No."

He put an arm around you and pushed into you to move you over and tried to get the brush again, "Come on."

"No." You were both laughing. You were really no match for him but you put up a good fight.

He stopped and stepped behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin on your shoulder, pleading, "Please? You're better at loading than me. I can never make everything fit right."

Your stomach did a little flip flop in response to his actions. "Well, when you ask like that.", you laughed and handed him the brush.

He knew the attention he was giving you was more than usual, but he really did miss you like crazy when he was with Sharon. You could be right next to him, but he couldn't touch you; instead you'd be in Seb's arms. He always knew that you and Seb had a slightly closer bond than you and he, through no fault of anyone. He could also tell that his friend had become closer with you during his own time with Sharon. He felt he might be overstepping some unspoken boundaries, so he told himself that he just had to get this out of his system because he'd been without you. He didn't know what was going to come of any of it, he just knew he needed to be close to you right now.

Sebastian had come to the top of the stairs. You and Chris hadn't heard him coming up over all your noise. He saw the way that Chris embraced you... a lot like he had himself just a couple nights ago outside the restaurant. It made him a bit uneasy, but he did his best to shake it off. _'He just missed her. He'll chill out. She isn't yours anyway, so you need to chill... But she should be... Give it time.'_

He spoke up once you and Chris switched tasks, "You guys almost done so we can go have fun?", he put on a smile and entered the kitchen.

"Yep!", you chirped.

You were both done after a minute, so you headed to you room to change and gather anything you might need as Chris started loading his car with the volleyball net, ball, camping chairs, towels and a cooler with some drinks.

Sebastian followed you into your room and when you got to your dresser and opened the drawer, you felt his arms wrap around your waist and his cheek against the back of your head. He said nothing. You knew it was him. He had become even more familiar since you had moved in. You rested your arms over his and just enjoyed it.

He closed his eyes and took in the smell of your hair. Why did he feel the need to figuratively mark you by being the last one to touch you, hold you after seeing Chris with you like that? He didn't want to be left behind, squeezed out of the picture. That's why. His thoughts were interrupted by your voice and you reaching up and placing a hand on the back of his head.

"You okay, Sebby?"

He opened his eyes, but didn't move, "Yeah. Last night was just really bizarre. Things feel different- not as different as they did when we first went to bed last night, but different. I need to be close to you. You feel so familiar to me, like we've always known each other... And I need to be close to that right now."

Tears came to your eyes at hearing him use the same word and description as you the way thought of him. You held them back, hoping he wouldn't notice and you swallowed. "Yeah I felt that weirdness too, but it seems to be getting better." You rubbed his arm lightly, "If you need to hold your dolly to make you feel better, I'm really okay with that.", you chuckled, "It's gonna be okay, Seb. Maybe even better than okay. Just give it time."

Now he was the one contending with looming tears as he thought to himself, _'Just give it time. Jesus. How can she be so in sync with me? I am giving it time, baby. Whatever you need. Just please don't be too long.'_

He sighed and gave you a squeeze to level himself, "Make sure you wear layers you can take off, it's gonna be hot today." He kissed your head and left to help Chris.

You changed into your bikini; a colorful Aztec print. Then you slipped on jean cutoff shorts and a teal t-shirt that had the neck hem and sleeves cut off to make an open, loose tank top. You slipped on your favorite flip flops, put your hair in a high messy bun and grabbed your bag.

You didn't live near a beach, so this was the closest you all got. The city park was amazing; 100 acres of soft green grass, some hills, huge mature trees, a pond with two islands, paddle boats, an aviary, playgrounds, a splash pad, restrooms, picnic areas, horseshoe pits, basketball courts, tennis courts, bocce balls courts, seasonal amusement rides with a 1.5 mile jogging path and parking circling near the perimeter. It was one of your happy places.

Chris parked near where Nat had texted you they would be. Her, Bruce, Tony and Pepper were the first ones there. Sebastian got out of the back seat and opened your door while Chris went to get stuff out of the trunk, you and Sebastian followed. Just then Thor and Jane pulled up in their Jeep next to the three of you. You all greeted each other as they got out to get their own stuff.

Chris handed you your bag, then he and Sebastian continued grabbing stuff out.

You held out your hand, "I can carry more."

Chris looked at you as he picked up as much as he could manage off the ground and as Sebastian closed the trunk, Chris said, "Nope."

"Come on.", you begged.

Sebastian bent to pick up the volleyball, he straightened and put it in your open hand, then pressed your hand and the ball to your chest so it wouldn't drop as he gave you a sarcastic closed mouth smile. He then picked up his share of the load and you all starting walking towards the grass.

"Why do you both insist on keeping me weak and helpless!?", you called after them.

Sebastian threw his head back laughing and Chris called over his shoulder, "To guarantee that you'll always need us!"

Thor and Jane were not far behind the three of you. You reached the clearing in the park where the others were, there was some shady places under the trees that circled a large sunny spot the group had claimed. It wasn't crowded at the park that day, but there were enough people around to give a sense of community.

Everyone put their stuff near the edge of the sunny area. Sebastian took a couple steps toward you, turned his baseball cap backward and put a hand on your lower back, "The real answer is simply that we're gentleman, doll." He kissed your head and followed Chris to help him set up the net in the big sunny patch.

You watched your boys walking away and your heart fluttered, God you loved them so much... And they were pretty hot too, which sometimes made other things in you flutter. Did you really believe that it was going to be this way forever though? It can't be, everything changes. Right?

Nat approaching you from the side and giving you a hug snapped you back to reality, "Hey! My sister from another Mister!", she stepped back and had her hands on your upper arms. "How you doing today?", she beamed.

You nodded and lifted your eyebrows from behind your sunglasses, "I'm good. I actually feel really good... And calm today. It's weird. Maybe something good is coming my way.", you chuckled.

She gave you a closed mouth smile, "I really hope so." She hooked arms with you and led you to where the others were sitting along with Jane and Thor setting up chairs. You greeted everyone and they greeted you back.

Everyone talked for a few minutes. As the guys were nearly finished setting up the net, Pepper popped out of her chair, "Oh! (Y/N)!", she tip toed to you in her bare feet while you pushed your sunglasses up onto your head to make eye contact with her, "So-", she put her hands on your shoulders and you couldn't help but think, _'Damn, she's tall.'_ She continued, smiling, "My assistant called me this morning and just up and quit on me. She's moving out of state for some guy she met on the internet or something." She shook her head to get herself back on track, "Anyway, so it turns out I have an opening for an executive assistant", your face started to light up as she kept going. "If you want it, the job is yours. You can start tomorrow... Or anytime up until the following Monday, whatever you're comfortable with.", She smiled so big and waited for your answer.

You felt like you were going to cry when you hugged her, "Oh my God, Pepper! Yes, I'll take it! Thank you!" You had pressed your hands together and opened them just enough to cover your nose and mouth in excitement and you started to cry. Pepper put her arms around you and hugged you again, "Aw, sweetie."

Chris and Sebastian had started back to the group when they noticed you crying and Pepper holding you. They jogged to you, worried. Chris reached you two seconds before Sebastian, so he spoke first as Pepper released you and he put a hand on your back, "Sweetheart, what's wrong?!"

You opened your hands from your nose and mouth, but still held them close to your face and you were still crying, "I got a job!"

Nat shoved her fists in the air and shouted, "Woohoo!"

"That's awesome!", Chris shouted, hugged you tight and kissed you on the cheek.

Sebastian was smiling ear to ear when Chris released and you went to him. He picked you up off the ground in a hug, kissing you all over your face as you laughed, "I'm so happy for you, babe!"

Once all the excitement came down you explained who you'd be working for and what position you were taking.

The guys both hugged Pepper enthusiastically, Chris whispered as he hugged her, "Thank you so much. You may have saved our girl." Pepper smiled as he pulled away.

Clint, Laura, their kids, Sam and Maria showed up shortly after. The remainder of the time at the park was spent playing volleyball of course, people rotating through playing, laying out in the sun and talking in the chairs that were set up. When you striped off everything but your bikini to lay on a towel in the sun, Chris almost got hit in the head with the ball, almost. Sebastian was looking too, but he was more smooth about it. Though remembering touching your amazing legs distracted him for a moment. Luckily, no ball was coming his way then.

A few minutes later, Chris took a break and grabbed himself a water out of the cooler and he came to lay next to you on the grass and propped himself on an elbow. By this time, all the guys in the group had their shirts off. He could see your eyes closed under your sunglasses, "Hey, hon."

You lifted your head and shielded your eyes to look at him, _'Oh my God. Hello, muscles!'_ "Hey.", you smiled and relaxed back down closing your eyes again.

His eyes traveled over your body behind his own sunglasses; he found himself fighting the urge to lean over and softly kiss your stomach or to even just softly drag his fingertips across it. He really wanted to know if it felt as soft under his lips as it looked, "You wanna go grab something to eat?" He had already asked Sebastian who said he didn't know what he wanted so he'd get himself something shortly.

"Yeah, sure. I could use a corn dog.", you got up and pulled on your shorts and flip flops and started to follow him to the concession stand when he stopped and waited for you, then he put a hand softly on the small of your bare back to guide you. He had put his hand in the same spot a thousand times before... But never without a barrier of clothing. He discovered that your skin was so much softer than he expected and now he wanted his lips all over you. He sighed heavily.

"You okay?", you turned asking him.

"Yeah, it's just hot.", he smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG, what's happening?! I'm the writer and even I'm feeling confused, lol. Hope I haven't totally screwed up this story.
> 
> Please let me know if I'm still doing okay. It's getting so complicated for the boys and reader, lol.
> 
> Thanks for comments and kudos!
> 
> Love you guys! ❤️ xoxo  
> Oh and I threw something in there that Seb fans may recognize... Can you spot it?


	20. Shift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Refresher:
> 
> "Yeah, sure. I could use a corn dog.", you got up and pulled on your shorts and flip flops and started to follow him to the concession stand when he stopped and waited for you, then he put a hand softly on the small of your bare back to guide you. He had put his hand in the same spot a thousand times before... But never without a barrier of clothing. He discovered that your skin was so much softer than he expected and now he wanted his lips all over you. He sighed heavily.
> 
> "You okay?", you turned asking him.
> 
> "Yeah, it's just hot.", he smiled

As the week began, you prepared to go back to work and started on Wednesday. You and the guys were going to carpool since you all worked at the same place now. You would only take seperate cars when someone had to go in early or stay late. Sebastian has also worked his way into sales since he'd started there.

You had dressed in a white ladies button down shirt, a black pencil skirt and red heels. You put your hair in a french twist with some strands framing your face. You don't usually like to have your hair so tight and orderly, but for your first day you played it safe. You'd feel out how casual things could get over the next few days.

When you stepped out into the kitchen, Sebastian was getting travel cups with coffee ready for everyone. Chris was sitting at the island on his phone. They were both very handsomely dressed in slacks with belts, dress shoes and dress shirts. When they heard your heels on the hardwood, they both turned.

Their faces held the same expression; raised eyebrows and lips slightly parted. Sebastian barely got out a quiet 'wow' while Chris said nothing.

Chris hopped off his stool and walked to you, waving his hand toward your room and putting a light hand at the back of your arm, "You can't go out like that, go change.", he chortled.

"Why not?", you asked, confused. "Do I look stupid?"

Now Chris looked confused, "God, no."

Sebastian spoke up, "Not stupid; gorgeous. All the men would drop dead at the sight of you.", he chuckled and walked to you, "Probably some women too." He handed you a new steel travel coffee cup with your initials engraved on it, "Happy first day of work, babe." He kissed your forehead as he released the cup.

"Oh my gosh,", you held up the cup to admire it, "this is beautiful! Thank you!", you hugged Sebastian with one arm.

"You're welcome, doll. Chris went in on it with me.", he smiled.

You went to Chris and hugged him too, "Thank you."

He swiped the thumb of his closed hand down your face lightly, "You're welcome, sweetie."

Given that it had been a few days since your last panic attack and the onset of the awkwardness between the three of you, things were settling back into normal.

Your first day was full of information and learning. You sat in Pepper's office with her the entire day to takes notes and watch how her and things in the office worked. She took you to lunch as well. You were sure that she was going to be great to work for. She was firm but fair... And was a little biased towards you, her friend, so you hand a bit of an advantage over others in the office.

Once you and the guys got home, you and Chris changed into more comfortable clothes. It wasn't long after that Sebastian's parents came to pick him up for dinner, so he had stayed in his office clothes. They were in town for a few days. He opened the door, hugged them and kissed his mother on the cheek as they came in, the three of them speaking Romanian, of course. You and Chris had come into the room upon hearing the doorbell. They saw Chris and hugged him up, asking him how he was doing.

Sebastian's mom then looked to you and smiled. She turned to Sebastian, grinning, and said something in her native tongue that ended with your name. He simply smiled softly and nodded. She went to you with open arms and hugged you so tight, "It's so wonderful to finally meet you.", she stepped back, her hands on your arms, "Such a beautiful girl.", she added with a gentle smile and a hand to your cheek.

You blushed and looked at Sebastian, surprised. He pulled one corner of his mouth up in a closed mouth smile and winked at you.

You looked back to his mom and smiled, "Thank you."

His dad also hugged you and said it was lovely to meet you.

As his parents headed to the car, Sebastian gave Chris a quick hug. He then squeezed you quickly and gave you a kiss on the head, "Be back later, babe." He pointed at Chris at he went to the door, "Don't you two have too much fun without me!"

Chris laughed, "We won't."

And with that Sebastian left.

You and Chris went out to get some beers and picked up Chinese for dinner. You ate in the kitchen and talked. He asked you how you've been feeling since securing a job and asked you to tell him more details about your first day, even though the guys had asked you how it went when you all drove home. You told him that you were feeling pretty damn good lately, thank God.

Once you both finished eating, you changed into a pair of short jersey shorts and a tank top, Chris put on pajama pants and a t-shirt. You then both brushed your teeth, side by side, bumping and pushing each other, while you both laughed at the sink. You and Chris got in his bed to binge watch Friends on Netflix with the lights off. He sat against the headboard with pillows behind his back, you cuddled into his side and he put his arm around your back. You rested your head against his cheek.

He tickled your arm and spoke, "I can't tell you how happy I am to be close to you again."

You looked up at him and smiled slightly, "Me too."

He kissed your forehead and you both went back to watching the TV.

Sebastian came home shortly after and peeked his head in, "I'm gonna get ready for bed, I'll be right back."

Chris gave him a thumbs up without a word.

"Bring pillows! We're hoggin' 'em all!", you called after him as he reached the stairs.

"Okay!", he hollered back.

He returned with his pillows and propped them against the headboard, climbing into the the bed and then sat against the pillows. You shifted so your back was against Chris's side so that you could put your legs over Sebastian's thighs.

The corners of his mouth turned up slightly as he rested his hands on your shins, "Hm, thank you." He started to tickle your shins.

"No, thank yoooou.", you replied in response to the tickles.

He chuckled, "Sure."

At some point, you all started falling asleep, so Chris turned the TV off. He turned toward you and you nuzzled into his chest and Sebastian cuddled up behind you.

During the night, you jerked awake and it woke Chris who's chest your were sleeping against, "You okay, hon?" He got up on his elbow, turned behind him and flipped on the bedside lamp on the dimmest setting since Sebastian was still sleeping. He looked down at you.

"Yeah, just had a dream I was falling.", you chuckled softly.

"What's going on?", Sebastian mumbled from behind you. Yours and Chris's talking woke him up... Like always.

You answered, "I just had a falling dream. They always scare the shit out of me."

Sebastian moved closer and also propped himself up on his elbow, resting his hand on your hip and you turned your head to see his face, "Maybe we could help you feel better." He looked at Chris.

You looked at Chris as well just as his eyes went from Sebastian to you. His eyes were more intense than you had ever seen them. He put a finger under your chin and leaned in. His lips touched yours so lightly and you jerked your head back in surprise just enough to break the contact, your brows furrowed, your heart was pounding and your breath was fast, "Wh...?"

Chris's expression stayed and Sebastian started whispering in your ear as you looked toward your shoulder without actually looking at him, "We both want you so badly and you're not choosing, so we decided to do what best friends do;", he kissed your neck softly and gripped your hip bone gently, pressing your ass against his hard length and your breath hitched before he spoke again, "share."

Your eyes closed and your mouth fell open just enough to let out the softest sigh and for it to make Chris bite his bottom lip at the sight. Fuck, your mouth was perfect. He slid a hand against one side of your jaw, you turned your head back to him, opened your eyes and he was close again. He rubbed his thumb lightly over your bottom lip, staring at your mouth and licking his own lips, then his eyes met yours again, "Isn't this what you've always wanted?", he asked softly.

You couldn't even think straight enough to form a sentence. Only one word came to mind. "Yes.", you whispered.

Sebastian spoke again, his voice low and deep, "Then let us take care of you, doll.", his hand slid up underneath your tank top to caress your stomach softly.

"Okay.", you breathed.

Chris trailed his fingertips down your jaw, your neck... His lips met yours again and you closed your eyes. You invited him to explore that perfect mouth of yours with his tongue as your lips were already parted. His kiss was soft, slow and loving. Your hand was on his cheek and you moaned so quietly against his mouth, which incited a low hum from him. He was taking his time and taking you all in. His finger was trailing over your skin, tracing the neck hem of your top, curving upwards to your collarbone, it sent shivers through you. His hand then gently cupped your face.

Sebastian was peppering the back of your neck with soft, deliberate, open mouthed kisses and your free hand went to the back of his head, silently telling him how much you were enjoying what he was doing to you. His lips and tongue teased your skin as Chris continued to occupy your mouth.

Sebastian's hand explored your body as it moved from your stomach, slid down your hip, your thigh. God, he loved your legs. His hand slid around to the back of your thigh and he dragged his fingertips all the way up to where your ass met your leg, slightly pushing up the barely existent leg of your shorts. He growled quietly against your neck and gave your flesh a squeeze, which opened you up slightly at your center. You let out a moan which Chris devoured with his mouth.

You already felt like you could explode at any moment, how were you going to handle anything more?

Chris broke the kiss, pulled back and lightly stroked your bottom lip with a thumb once more. He glanced at Sebastian, then back to you as he spoke, "I think Seb needs a little sugar now, baby."

Sebastian rolled you over to face him, his lower arm wrapped around your back. Chris positioned himself behind you and pressed against you so you could feel how stiff you'd made him. You reached back and slid your hand over his ass and pressed him into you tighter and he sighed heavily.

Sebastian looked at you, nothing but passion, intense and focused as he stroked your face lovingly with his fingertips, from temple to chin. When he closed the distance, he gently lifted your chin and kissed along your jawline. Chris was kissing your shoulder, his hand on your hip, watching the reactions on your face from Seb's touches.

Sebastian licked his lips quickly and before he kissed you, he slid his tongue across your bottom lip slowly which made you whimper. Your desperate sound instantly cracked his control, he groaned and his mouth crashed into yours as one of your hands went to his face, the other tangling in his hair. You opened your lips readily and he kissed you hungrily at first, then his pace slowed. He wanted to savor you. He slid his hand down your leg, hooked it behind your knee and pulled your leg up over him, your knee bent over his waist. His kiss had deepened and your head was spinning as you moaned against his mouth.

Chris kissed the back of your neck where it met your shoulder, then rested his lips on the curve of your shoulder. He moved his hand from your hip, down over your ass, continuing on the back of your thigh about halfway down. He moved to your inner thigh and started going back up. His hand glided over the crotch of your shorts and he gently stroked the spot where your wetness had pooled.

You broke the kiss with Sebastian, your head falling back as you gasped and your eyes flew open.

The room was dark, still and quiet, the guys sound asleep on either side of you. You took slow deep breaths to prevent your quickened breath from waking them; you did not want to talk about the dream that woke you and why your breathing was labored. You scooted to the foot of the bed and slid off and went into the bathroom. You went pee and once you pulled your shorts back up, you leaned your backside against the counter and covered your face with your hands, "Holy shit.", you whispered to yourself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *mic drop*


	21. The Slip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> Chris kissed the back of your neck where it met your shoulder, then rested his lips on the curve of your shoulder. He moved his hand from your hip, down over your ass, continuing on the back of your thigh about halfway down. He moved to your inner thigh and started going back up. His hand glided over the crotch of your shorts and he gently stroked the spot where your wetness had pooled.
> 
> You broke the kiss with Sebastian, your head falling back as you gasped and your eyes flew open.
> 
> The room was dark, still and quiet, the guys sound asleep on either side of you. You took slow deep breaths to prevent your quickened breath from waking them; you did not want to talk about the dream that woke you and why your breathing was labored. You scooted to the foot of the bed and slid off and went into the bathroom. You went pee and once you pulled your shorts back up, you leaned your backside against the counter and covered your face with your hands, "Holy shit.", you whispered to yourself.

It took you a little while to shake that dream you'd had about the guys. You felt yourself getting hot in the cheeks... and other places, around them for a couple days. You were sure you had had it because you're getting attached to them both enough now that you didn't wanna lose either of them, like you had Chris for a short time. Plus, you probably just needed to get laid. 

On Friday of that week, you all went to Tony's for Pepper's birthday party. You had put on white skinny jeans with random rips in the front of the thighs and knees, a high neck chambray halter top and nude strappy heals.

There were so many people that it was like a night club. They even had the lights low and colorful in the large room where the bar was, the music thumping as the three of you came in. There were couches and chairs scattered around, mostly the at the perimeter of the center area of the room, some people were dancing already.

You spotted Pepper, the guest of honor, and went to her to give her her gift. The guys were surveying the room when you took off and they moved quickly to go with you. When Pepper saw you heading to her, she smiled excitedly with her mouth open big and waved. She had stood from a sofa in a group of furniture, she was surrounded by Tony, Thor, Jane and Sam. She rounded the table in the center, hurried to you and gave you a big hug.

You returned it readily, the guys standing behind you smiling, "Happy Birthday, boss." You smiled as you pulled back and handed her a small, long box.

"Thank you." She opened it and gasped at the gold pen set with opal inlaid into the clips, "Oh! They're beautiful!"

She hugged you again, "Thank you!"

"Your welcome." You pointed a thumb behind you, "From them too." You stepped out of her way as she stepped past you to hug and thank the guys too. They wished her a happy birthday and said 'you're welcome'.

You all sat, Chris ended up next to you in the two available spots on one of the couches, Sebastian sat to your other side, diagonally, in a large chair.

Tony furrowed his brows at all of you, "What are you doing?"

"Uhhh, sitting?...", Sebastian looked just as confused as you and Chris.

Tony lifted his glass, "Open bar, go nuts!"

Your face spread into a happy grin. Chris leaned into you and said close to your ear, "Not you."

You scoffed as Sebastian stood, "I got it. What do you guys want?"

"Just a beer, please.", Chris answered.

"Doll?", Sebastian smiled at you.

"Daiquiri, please and thank you.", you gave him a scrunched nose smile, which caused him to make an amused pout and he winked at you. He touched your bare shoulder as he walked away.

Chris asked Tony, "Where's Nat, Bruce and the Bartons?"

"The Bartons had to cancel; two of their kiddos are sick. Nat and Bruce are around here somewhere.", Tony answered looking around.

Thor and Jane got up to go dance and the conversations amongst the group continued. Before long, Sebastian returned with yours and Chris's drinks and a screwdriver for himself. As he handed you your drink, he bent down and gave you a kiss on the cheek.

As the evening got started and wore on, there was lots of talking, lots of drinking and laughing between everyone. Nat had found you and dragged you to the dance floor to dance to "Moves Like Jagger" while the guys continued joking around, howling with laughter... Just generally being ridiculous. You and Nat made your way to the bar and had shots, then headed back to the dance floor for another song before the guys had even had a chance to see you at the bar. After that song, you were starting to feel pretty loose and relaxed. Nat talked you into one more shot and then you both headed back the couches. The people in that seating area rotated through the circle of friends and people you didn't know. Right now, it was Chris, Bruce, Sam and Maria... And a few other people you didn't recognize. Nat sat with Bruce, kissing on his face while he tried to talk, making him laugh.

When you reached the couch, you stepped between Chris and the table, passing him. He leaned back a little, lightly touching your thighs to guide you past him as he leaned side to side to see around you to keep eye contact with Sam who was across the low table, talking to him. You sat in his lap, putting your arm around his shoulder and your other hand against his chest, smiling at the side of his face as he was still keeping eye contact with Sam, his arm instinctively going around your back, his hand coming to rest on your hip. You continued smiling.

Sam laughed and pointed at you, "I think someone wants your attention."

Chris turned to you and smiled, "Hi, hon. How you doing?"

You nodded lazily, "Good. Haven't you moved at all, wall flower?"

"Nah, enjoying visiting."

"Where's Seb?"

He looked over his shoulder where the rest of the room was and then back to you, "I dunno, mingling, I guess."

You sat in his lap for a few more minutes, listening to everyone talking and laughing along. At some point, your hand found it's way to the back of Chris's neck and you started absentmindedly tickling it with your fingernails. His face relaxed and his eyes closed briefly. He gently grabbed the back of your neck to pull you closer so he could talk quietly in your ear, "You better stop that, sweetheart, or we're gonna have a problem."

You hadn't stopped yet as you asked, "Whadda ya mean?" You were tipsy enough that you really didn't know what he meant. You then felt him start to get hard against the back of your thigh as you sat in his lap and he cocked an eyebrow at you.

You stopped the tickling, surprised and made a quiet noise that was half laugh, half scoff, "Sorry.", you smiled coyly.

He chuckled and pulled you closer again to kiss your cheek, "Just stay here for a minute until I calm down, please."

You smiled a little and nodded.

After a few minutes, Sebastian came back and asked you to go dance with him. You looked at Chris to make sure he considered the "problem" resolved and he gave you a small nod.

Sebastian had taken your hand and led you to the other side of the floor, near the bar. "London Bridge" by Fergie was already playing. You both started out facing each other and began to move. Sebastian noticed quickly the way you were moving. You had drank enough to let your guard down. He'd seen you dance before, but never like this. You were dancing like a lot of attention seeking girls would in a club, but it wasn't trashy. Your hips, ribcage and shoulders rolling, undulating, circling, popping... it was unusually fluid, controlled, sensual... And sexy as hell. You turned slightly and he stepped around behind you, closely, to feel you against him. He put his hands on your hips and you leaned your body and head back against him, putting a hand on the back of his head, your body still moving. He had his face against your hair and neck. You caught yourself, suddenly realizing that maybe that was a bit too much for friends... And the fact that you were surrounded by people, some you knew, at the moment. You pulled away from him and spun around changing your movements, putting your hands on his shoulders, his hands went to your hips again. You smiled shyly, a little embarrassed that you had let yourself go like that and he bit his lip.

You grabbed his hand and started walking off the dance floor, shouting, "Let's go sit down."

He laughed loudly, "Why?"

"Because."

He stepped in front of you, turned you around and nudged you, "Shot first, you need to relax." He didn't know you had already had two that evening and you saw no reason to tell him. You actually could use another shot.

Your feet started moving and he came to your side, putting his hand on the small of your back. Once you both sat at the bar, he ordered two shots and two beers, turned to you and spoke loudly over the music, "How have I never seen you dance like that?"

You pressed your lips together, hesitantly. This felt kind of embarrassing, but you told him anyway, "I used to belly dance, not really something I like to flaunt."

His eyebrows shot up, "Wow. Just took classes or...?" He was honestly wondering if it had been something like being a stripper. Of course that's where his mind went given what had just happened between you.

"I was in a performing troupe before I went to school for my cosmetology license. Like for festivals and dance concerts. Usually traditional costumes and music, sometimes current music and modern costumes. I had to quit because working and school took up too much time." You took your shot and hissed, slamming the glass down.

Sebastian downed his much more smoothly, then he spoke, "Well, you still got it, babe. Believe me." He leaned closer to your ear so only you could hear, placing a hand at your back, "Thank you for the dance; it was damn sexy."

You laughed nervously, he was making you blush, "I let it slip out."

He slowly shook his head, "I'm so glad you did."

He got up and took your hand to help you down from your stool, you both grabbing your beers. He put his arm around your back and led you back to the group.

Nat intercepted you halfway there and shouted, "Oh my God, (Y/N)! I didn't know you could dance like that! Where did you learn that? You need to teach me."

Sebastian spoke for you, "Belly dancing." 

You scoffed and nodded, smiling at her shyly.

"That was hot, girl.", she said.

Sebastian barely chuckled, "Indeed."

Most everyone had returned to the central spot, but Chris was gone. You and Sebastian sat. You were close to his side and he his put his arm leisurely around the back of your neck.

Tony spoke up, "I saw you guys dancing, heading back this way and then back through the crowd again. Did you sneak away to do the deed somewhere in my house?"

"Tony!", Pepper exclaimed.

Sebastian threw his head back and laughed.

Tony shrugged Pepper, "Well..."

You just shook your head and chuckled softly.

A few songs later, Nat pulled you off the couch to dance with her again, "that sexy way". She really wanted to see it again and maybe try it. Might as well, cat's out of the bag and you were getting to the point were you were feeling in a sexy mood anyway, might as well have fun with it.

Sebastian scoffed in disappointment as Nat pulled you away and you just shrugged at him.

"Hurry back!", he shouted after you and you blew him a kiss.

"Dark Horse" by Katy Perry came on. That was a good one for dancing "that sexy way". Nat was watching you as she danced her own way, then she started trying some of it.

Chris had come back and sat next to Sebastian, asking where you were.

Sebastian answered, "Dancing with Nat. Did you know she can belly dance, like actual honest to God belly dancing?"

"What?", Chris chortled, "Really? No, I didn't.", his eyebrows raised.

"Look.", Sebastian gestured toward the dance floor. You weren't too far into the crowd and Chris could see you, being blocked by only a person or two for a quick moment every once and a while. His eyes were wide watching you.

Nat shouted to you, "I gotta pee!"

"Kay!", you shouted back and she left you dancing by yourself.

Chris asked Sebastian while still watching you, "How much has she had to drink when she's been around you?"

"Daiquiri, shot, a few beers."

"I think it's been more than that.", Chris glanced at him and they both looked to observe you.

A guy came up behind you and started dancing against you and you were gone enough to feel like you could just enjoy it. You didn't give him the same attention you had Sebastian, but you danced against him and let him get close, his hands slowly roamed and you were starting to feel frisky. Your dancing was getting more suggestive.

Chris and Sebastian stood quickly from the couch. Chris headed to you swiftly. Sebastian followed, but stopped short of the edge of the floor to let Chris handle it since he was going to get there first anyway. So, he just waited, should he be needed.

Chris approached you head on and took your arm gently, but firmly, pulling you away from the guy and to him, "Okay, sweetheart, I think you're done."

"Hey, man, we were dancing.", the guy protested.

Chris pointed at him, "Back off. I know what you were doing."

The guy sighed and left.

You were looking up at Chris with a devilish grin.

His face was stern, his brows furrowed and he was gripping your arms just below the shoulders as he looked down at you, "What are you doing? You don't even know that guy."

You rested your hand on his chest, "I know you. Will you dance with me?", you asked as you intentionally grazed his crotch with your other hand, biting your lip.

He jerked so slightly and closed his eyes for a beat, pursing his lips tightly as he made a sound that sounded like half grunt, half scoff. He grabbed your wrist only tight enough to prevent you from doing anything else. It's a good thing Chris's back was to Sebastian, so he didn't see what you had just done.

Chris's eyes were fixed on yours now. "Don't.", he said firmly.

You smiled up at him, licking your lips seductively, pressing your body against him, "Pleeease?"

"Okay, you're definitely done. We're not doing anything. Let's go.", he took your hand, turned and led you off the floor.

Sebastian saw Chris's face and knew that your night was over.

Chris told him as he passed Seb, "She's fuckin' plastered. We gotta get her home."

"Hi, Sebby!", you beamed as you passed him, trying to grab him by the shirt front to bring him with you as Chris kept pulling you.

Sebastian sighed as he began to follow you both.

You all excused yourselves for the night and went to the car.

Once you all stepped out the door, Chris started getting his keys out, Sebastian now tending to you. Once you had reached the bottom of the steps, you ran towards the trash bin that was there, thank God.

Sebastian followed, no more than a step behind you, "What are you-"

You shoved the hinged lid up and started puking in the can.

"Jesus, honey.", Sebastian hurried to get all your hair back and then held the lid with his other hand for you as you heaved again.

Chris turned and sighed. He should've kept a closer eye on you.

You were breathing heavily now, trying to spit the nasty taste out of your mouth and all of the sudden you weren't having fun anymore.

Sebastian grunted quietly as he bent down to scoop you up in his arms, "Come on." He carried you to the car parked at the curb of the semi-circle parkway, asking Chris, "You still have that water?", he set you down near the grass area beside the car, keeping an arm around your middle to steady you. Chris happened to have a half drank bottle of water in his cup holder in the front of the car. He grabbed it, removed the lid and handed to Sebastian, who handed it to you. "Here babe, rinse.", he ordered. You did as you were told, swishing and spitting the water on the lawn.

He guided you into the backseat and sat next to you. He stroked your hair for a moment and then took your hand, interlacing your fingers together. He held your hand on his thigh while your head rested on his shoulder. You were getting drowsy.

You had fallen asleep by the time you were home. Sebastian carried you into the house as you weren't waking up enough to walk. Chris had gone ahead of him to open doors and turn on lights.

Sebastian set you to lay on your bed and started unbuckling the straps of your heels as Chris spoke, "I'm gonna go to bed, bro. You got her all right?" He was a little pissed about how things had gone down and needed some space. He was upset at you for drinking more than you knew you could handle, upset at himself for not being around to keep you from drinking so much... And he was even a bit displeased with Seb for not being around to stop you either.

Sebastian nodded without taking his eyes off what he was doing, "Yeah, I got it." Sebastian was feeling almost the same way as Chris, but the person he was most upset with was himself. He was supposed to watch over you. He designated himself your drinking guardian a while ago.

Chris went to bed even though he wasn't tired. He just laid awake thinking about how you had touched him on the dance floor. Something so intimate shouldn't have happened while you were drunk. Plus, the place and circumstances had been wildly inappropriate. The only time you had showed that kind of interest in him and you were wasted. That really bothered him.

Sebastian put your trash can next to the bed, telling you where it was, you just said "okay" to indicate you had heard him as you were in between being awake and sleeping. He turned off the light, kicked off his own shoes and made his way to the other side of the bed, grabbing the blanket from the foot of the bed as he did. He took his place beside you, covered you both with the blanket and turned you from your back onto your side, facing where the trash can was in case you threw up in your sleep; didn't need you choking. He settled behind you and wrapped his arms around your ribcage, laying his head against yours as he whispered, "I'm sorry, doll."

You're arms were resting over his and you gave one a sleepy pat, you were so out of it that you had barely registered what he said; forget knowing why he was apologizing, "I'm- It's okay, Sebby. I still love you."

His heart skipped a beat and swelled a little. That was the first time you had said anything like that to him. He chalked it up to you being drunk and hardly conscious; and it most likely was meant in a friendly way... but it felt so good to hear you say it at all.

After a few minutes of reveling in the feeling your words gave him, he took a deep breath, and even though he knew you were totally out and wouldn't hear him, he kissed the back of your head and whispered into your hair, "I love you too, baby."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh gosh.
> 
> Let me know what you think.
> 
> Thanks for the comments and kudos; they keep me going!
> 
> Hugs and love! xoxo


	22. Tension

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> After a few minutes of reveling in the feeling your words gave him, he took a deep breath, and even though he knew you were totally out and wouldn't hear him, he kissed the back of your head and whispered into your hair, "I love you too, baby."

Note: Writing Chris in this chapter made me think of the song "Diary of Jane" by Breaking Benjamin. And since our Seb has been growing his hair as of late, some pics for what he would look like after the time jump in this chapter:

[Here.](http://m.zimbio.com/photos/Sebastian+Stan/2015+Toronto+International+Film+Festival+Martian/EzfXhxlieNy)

[And here.](http://natashasromanoff.tumblr.com/post/129872688219/sebastian-stan-of-the-martian-poses-for-a)

God damn it, he's so pretty!

  
\-----

The next morning, you woke up with Sebastian still asleep next to you with his arm draped over his eyes, one leg from the knee down hanging off the side of the bed. He was only partially covered by the blanket you had shared.

You looked at your phone, which was plugged in on your night stand; one of the guys must've put it there. It was almost 10:30. You remebered that you had done some inappropriate and foolish things in your stupor, one in particular to Chris, and you started to feel regretful.

You got up quietly, looking over your shoulder to make sure you didn't wake Sebastian and you closed your door softly behind you.

You looked into Chris's room. He was also still asleep. He's usually the first one awake. You didn't know it, but it took him a long time to get to sleep last night. He was on his side, near the edge of the bed farthest from you, his back facing you.

You padded softly to his bed, climbed in under the blankets, nestled against his back and gently put your arm over him.

When you rested your cheek on his back, he turned his head in your direction. He was awake now.

You lifted your head, smiled cautiously and whispered, "Hey."

"Hey.", he whispered back, turning his head away again.

You continued to whisper at his back, "I'm really sorry for the way I behaved last night... Especially for what I did to you. That was really out of line. And thank you for stopping my dancing with that guy. I'm cringing about it now." You paused, "I'm sorry, Chris."

He said nothing for what seemed like an eternity.

You were just about ready to get up to leave when he rolled over to face you. His eyes stared into yours for the longest time before he spoke, "Thank you for apologizing and I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you more."

"Chris, it's not your responsibility. I need to be the one to make sure I'm acting the way I should. I'm an adult... Or at least I should be."

"I know you drank more than you should've and I'm not happy with you for that, but friends watch out for each other regardless." He hugged you to him and kissed your head. He said nothing more. After a couple minutes, you both got up to make breakfast together.

"Shit," Chris said quietly. "We're out of coffee. How did that happen?", he asked looking in the canister.

You shrugged as you started getting breakfast stuff out.

He went to his room, put on some flip flops and a baseball cap, returned and grabbed his keys off their hook. He went to you and gave you a quick kiss on the cheek as you hugged one of your arms around his back, then he whispered, "I'll go grab some coffees." He headed out the door.

A few minutes later, Sebastian came out of your room looking like the dead. He came to your side while you were cutting up peppers and onions for eggs. He put a hand around your waist and kissed your head. You smiled and paused your work to put a hand on his cheek while he did. He hummed quietly. That gesture earned you an extra kiss.

He turned to make coffee and echoed the same line of thought as Chris as he opened the canister that was left on the counter, "When did we run out of coffee?", he asked, his voice still hoarse with sleep.

You chuckled, "I dunno, Chris went for a coffee run."

He turned back to you and touched the small of your back before stepping close behind you, slightly to one side; you were holding a sharp knife after all, he didn't want to catch you off guard. "Can you put that down for a second?"

"Um, sure.", you answered, setting the knife down.

He turned you to him and rested his hands on either side of your waist, your hands rested on his forearms. He looked down at you, his face serious, his voice low, "I didn't like how you danced with that guy last night."

You pulled in your bottom lip and nodded, a little ashamed. "I wished I hadn't done that myself." You breathed out your nose in a kind of scoff, "I really should't have drank that much, and I knew it."

He pressed his lips together and nodded in agreement, then you continued, "And I'm sorry you had to take care of me when I was that drunk."

"Babe, I don't mind taking care of you at all- well, the smell when you puked; that I did mind."

You chuckled, "I'm sorry."

He shook his head, "I would deal with that anytime you need me to though. Just please don't make me." You both laughed.

"Okay.", you agreed.

He spoke again, "I'm sorry I didn't look out for you better.", he pressed his lips together.

"I'm a big girl, Seb."

_'Yeah, but you're my girl.'_

He chuckled, "I know."

A few weeks later, things were going well; comfortable. Having a job now seemed to help your stress immensely and you hadn't had any more panic attacks. It relieved you greatly to be able to finally contribute to household expenses and pay for your own storage unit. Chris and Sebastian wouldn't let you pay back anything. You knew it was no use arguing, so you didn't and you were able to let it go after a short time.

Chris was sitting on the front porch one Friday evening after dinner at the cafe style table and chairs, drinking a beer and lost in his thoughts.

The sun was setting, streaking pinks, purples and shades of orange across the sky. Over the course of that last month, he had noticed you and Sebastian getting closer again... slowly. It didn't really surprise him. Still, he started to feel defeated and, with regret, he started preparing himself for the possibility that you and Sebastian could eventually end up together. He knew you and Sebastian were always more drawn to each other; kindred spirits. He wanted the two of you to be happy and should the time come, he wanted to be happy for you both. You were his best friends.

A tear rolled from his eye and he swiped at both of his eyes quickly and sniffed.

He needed a distraction. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and tapped out a text, _'I need to get out of the house, you wanna go catch a movie or something?'_

He waited a few minutes before he got a response, _'Yeah. Meet me at the downtown theater in 15?'_

He typed back, _'Okay, see you then.'_

Meanwhile, you and Sebastian were downstairs in his bathroom, you cutting his hair. It had grown to halfway down his neck by now and he had been keeping his scruffy face trimmed. You playing with his hair while cuddling was becoming a regular ritual. You also loved those times you were both in his bathroom, you trimming his hair in select places to keep it looking nice. You would run your fingers through it for a moment before you even started; it was so soothing for you both. 

You finished up trimming his hair, placed the scissors and comb on the counter and took off the cape he had been wearing to catch those itchy little hairs, "I think that might be the last trim you need." You walked around to his front and set the cape on the counter next to the scissors and comb.

He grabbed your hand as he still sat on the chair and he frowned; he loved this time with you, "Say it ain't so."

"Well, actually, unless you plan on growing it much longer, you'll need trims to keep it the length you want."

There was a light in his eyes as he looked up at you and pulled you to him to stand between his open legs, "Thank you, doll." He smiled and wrapped his arms around your ribcage, his head coming to rest against your chest, above your breasts. He closed his eyes and got lost in the smell of you and the sound of your heartbeat.

It was such an intimate way to hug someone. Your heart ached a little as you wrapped your arms around him in return, one across the the back of his shoulders and the other against his broad upper back, your fingers splayed out. You rested your cheek against the top of his head and you realized in that moment... You were falling for him. You didn't know for how long, but it was evident now.

Was he feeling the same way? You really couldn't tell yet. You had both gotten a little closer a while ago, but then he pulled back. Was he scared he was getting too close to you then? Why is he starting to show signs of getting close again? Is he just more comfortable with that closeness still meaning friendship? You knew you were probably overanalyzing, so you tried to just let it go and just enjoy the moment.

Sebastian's phone buzzed in his pocket. He kept one arm around your back as got the phone out and looked at the text from Chris, _'Going to a movie with Sam, back later.'_ He simply typed back, _'K'_

"Hm. Chris is going to a movie with Sam.", he said, standing and putting his phone back in his pocket. "Looks like it's just you and me, kid. What should we do?"

You thought for a beat, then your face lit up, "Let's go have ice cream!"

He chuckled as he hooked his arm gently around your neck and kissed your temple, leading you out of the bathroom, "You got it."

"Oh. I gotta sweep up the hair."

He released you and nudged you toward the stairs, "I got it. You go get ready to go."

Sebastian drove to the city park; the concession stands has ice cream and you both loved it there. It was a warm night. Perfect for ice cream and a walk on the winding sidewalks through the park.

Once you had both finished your ice creams, Sebastian gave you a piggy back ride to the car. He kept tickling behind your knees where he held your legs by squeezing firmly, and repeatedly, with his curled fingers. You would squeal and struggle and at one point you thought he was going to drop you. You put your head over his shoulder and touched the side of your face to his for a moment before he let you down by the car and opened the door for you.

He got in the driver's seat and closed his door. He sighed happily and looked at you, "What now?"

You squinted, looking out the windshield as darkness started to engulf the park and the post lamps lining the walkways started to come on, "Jammies and a movie?"

"Sounds good.", he nodded and started the car.

Once you both got home, you changed into your pajamas, grabbed a couple beers and went to the family room to watch a movie. 

Sebastian sat in the corner of the L shaped sectional couch so he was diagonal. You leaned against his side low enough that you could lay your head back on his shoulder, you were facing the TV head on with your legs stretched out, your ankles crossed. He had his arm over your shoulder and it hung down enough for him to easily tickle your arm. 

A bit into the movie, he looked past your head and down at your legs. You were wearing those damn shorts again; so distracting. He was snapped from his thoughts when you spoke.

"What is that supposed to mean?", you didn't understand a reference a character was making.

He looked at the TV, his brows furrowed, "Oh, uhmm, I have no idea."

Soon after, Chris texted Sebastian that he had too much to drink at Sam's and he was gonna crash there. He let you know what Chris said.

At one point you noticed you needed another beer and spoke up, "Can you pause it, Sebby? I need another beer. Do you need one? I could make some popcorn too."

He reached for the remote as you stood, "Yes. All of that.", he laughed and hit the pause button, "Thanks, doll."

You smiled at him, rounded the end of the couch and headed upstairs. He sat up and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, the fingers of his hands intertwined together for a moment, biting one side of his lip and thinking. Once you had gotten upstairs, he quickly stood up and made his way up to the kitchen himself.

As he reached the top of the stairs, the dim light over the stove was the only light on. You were bent over fishing beers out of the pesky box they were in within the fridge. He closed his eyes for a beat at the sight of your ass, _'Jesus.'_ He moved toward you as you straightened, turning, your back to the fridge, two beers in hand.

You saw him approaching you, "Oh. Seb, I got this." You handed him one of the beers and he leaned his back side against the island directly in front of you and you noticed he was unusually quiet.

"What?", you chuckled.

He pushed off the island, standing straight, "I want to ask you something.", he twisted slightly, setting his beer on the counter behind him.

You looked confused, "Okay..."

He took a step toward you, leaving about a foot between you. He tilted his head, grasped your free hand and watched it for a moment as he gently rubbed his thumb over your delicate knuckles. His face was soft when his gaze went to your face roaming your features, pausing briefly at your mouth before settling on your eyes, "Can I kiss you?"

Your breath hitched, your heart instantly racing and your chest started heaving slightly as you looked into his eyes, "Yes. Please.", you breathed.

His chest rose and fell with a deep breath in relief as he bit his lip. He gently took the beer from your hand and set it next to his behind him. He stepped closer, but not close enough for your bodies to touch. His hands went to your waist and yours to rest on his forearms, near his elbows. He dipped his head down and leaned in close, to lightly drag the tip of his nose up the side of your neck. You could feel his warm breath on you and it made you shiver. He then moved to brush his open lips against yours, so lightly. Your eyes closed, and your lips parted expectantly. Your breath was ragged and your heart still racing.

He moved to your jaw with his lips barely there. You took in a deep breath and he was back to your lips, still brushing them with his, so slowly... so lightly. Your whole abdomen was tightening with anticipation and there was heat rising between your legs.

This was torture. You whimpered softly.

He stopped, slowly pulling back his head to look at you. His face was still soft and the corners of his mouth were turned up slightly and he barely chuckled under his breath, "You okay?"

You were begging him with your eyes and spoke softly, "Why are you teasing me?"

He leaned in close to your ear, his lips hardly touching you there as well, his voice was low and soft, "Because, darling," he started rubbing a thumb lightly on your waist, "The longer you're kept on the edge,", he began trailing one fingertip slowly down your stomach as he continued, "the longer the tension builds, deep...down...inside,", he stopped right above your pubic bone and your core tightened. His hand moved to grip your hip firmly and he growled in your ear to continue, "until it's _screaming_ for release..."

You were breathing more heavily now and you were starting to tremble. You barely whispered, "Oh, God."

He returned his lips to yours, still light and he finished his thoughts with a whisper, "the more potential it has to be explosive." 

"Please...", you pleaded, so quietly.

With that, he took your mouth quickly, surprising you. His tongue took it's time getting to know your mouth. The kiss was firm and deep, but the pace was passionate... And perfect. His lips were softer than you expected, his tongue silky and gentle. He was right, you felt like you could explode.

You moaned deeply, which made him do the same. Your hands had instantly gone around his neck, then one gripping the back of his neck, the other into his hair. His hands were still on your middle. He then shifted so both his hands were on your hips as he pushed you backward against the fridge, with only enough force to knock the slightest bit of breath from you and to force a pleasured sound against his mouth.

While keeping his pace and pressure in the perfect place to drive you mad, his hands took your arms one at a time from his shoulders and placed them over your head against the fridge, crossing them over one another. He gently held them there with one hand, the other returning to your hip again. 

You tried to push your hips forward while letting out desperate whimper, begging for more contact with his body, but he pushed them back away from him. He couldn't handle touching you any more than he was right now; he was reeling himself.

His pace slowed gradually and once his lips left yours, he put his forehead to yours, both of you panting, eyes still closed.

You breathed out, "Oh..."

His breathing was starting to come down, "Thank you.", he whispered and slowly kissed your forehead. He released your hands, took a step back and pulled you into his arms.

You were still panting a little, "No, thank you... May I have another?"

He chuckled and tilted your chin up giving you a soft kiss on the lips, "Later." He kissed your head and gave you a squeeze. "Right now, we need popcorn to finish that movie."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my Lordy! My heart was racing the whole time I was typing Seb working up to that kiss!
> 
> Let me know what you think; comments and kudos keep me going!
> 
> You guys are awesome! Thank you!
> 
> xoxo


	23. Missed It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You were still panting a little, "No, thank you... May I have another?"
> 
> He chuckled and tilted your chin up giving you a soft kiss on the lips, "Later." He kissed your head and gave you a squeeze. "Right now, we need popcorn to finish that movie."

NOTE: I DECIDED TO ADD MORE TAGS TODAY BECAUSE I FELT LIKE I OWE YOU GUYS _SOME_ KIND OF WARNING OF WHAT'S TO COME AND WHERE THIS STORY IS GOING, BUT THEY'RE VAGUE BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO GIVE ANYTHING AWAY. PLEASE GO CHECK THEM OUT.  
\-----

You started the popcorn and watched the bag puff up through the window of the microwave that was mounted above the stove top. Sebastian had gone to use the restroom and you had gotten lost in replaying in your mind what had just happened.

That was probably the most intense and arousing kiss you'd ever had; that man knew what he was doing. You hoped for more than just a kiss in the future and for that kiss to be the first of many, though you didn't really know yet what it meant to him. The start of something more between you or just to satisfy his curiosity about it?

When he appeared out of the bathroom, he went to you and stood close behind you, wrapping an arm snuggly around your middle. His other hand swept your hair to one side, exposing your neck and then joined his other arm around your ribs. You held his arms against you as he placed a tender kiss on your neck and it made your stomach flutter as he spoke softly, "I've been wanting for so long to kiss you,", you were wearing a tank top, so he kissed your bare shoulder next, "to be like this with you."

You had butterflies and the corners of your mouth pulled up as you turned to face him, still in his arms. You blinked slowly as you looked into his soft eyes, he was smiling slightly as you spoke, "I'm so glad you did; it was amazing." You needed more already.

You got up on your toes and put your arms around his neck and pressed your lips to his when he moved his head downward to meet you. You kissed him slowly, slower than before and he followed your lead. He pulled you into him tighter and he hummed. Your lips left his mouth went to his neck, softly grazing it before you kissed it. He sucked in a breath and grunted softly. His sounds made the heat between your legs return.

 _'Dear God. I already want her so badly and what she's doing isn't helping.'_ He didn't want to rush this. He wanted to two of you to savor every milestone, no matter how small. He wanted to do things right with you. The microwave beeped. _'Saved by the bell!'_

He pulled back, his face cheerful, "I'll get that."

You smiled up at him as he gave your sides a playful squeeze with his hands. You couldn't help but giggle and jerk away slightly as it tickled. You stepped out of his way. This situation was starting to feel really exciting... And really right.

He walked around you, grabbed the popcorn out of the microwave and dumped it in a big bowl. He then grabbed the beers, placed them between his forearm and ribs, he then put the popcorn bowl in the same hand. He gave you a quick kiss on the lips as he took your hand and started for the stairs, "Come on, babe. Let's go finish our movie."

While watching the movie, Sebastian wasn't really paying it much attention, his thoughts were on you. When you had started playing the movie again, you sat right next to him, holding the popcorn in your lap and put your legs over his. He looked down in his lap and licked his lips, _'Mm. Those beautiful legs... I could tell her what I think about them now. No need to hide it.'_

He started lightly dragging his fingertips slowly up your leg, starting at the ankle, as he leaned toward you, "You know,", he looked at you and you looked at him once he touched you and spoke. His gaze returned to what he was doing, "I've always loved these legs." He reached your knee as he looked at your face again.

Your chin was tilted down and you bit your lip fora second. God that felt so good.

He stared at your mouth as he leaned closer, "And this perfect mouth...", he touched your bottom lip with his thumb, his others fingers curled under your chin. He kissed your lips softly as his other hand nearly reached the hem of your shorts, before moving down to the back of your thigh. His touch stayed there and rubbed softly. His mind wandered to what it might feel like to have that beautiful mouth of yours on his-- He mentally shook his head in attempt to clear the thought, but it wouldn't leave, causing him to deepen the kiss. Your breath was getting slightly labored and you felt yourself getting a little wet down below. It didn't appear to take very much from him to get you prepared for more. You moaned into his mouth quietly then he thought, _'Jesus, this is all too much;'_ Your soft skin under his hand, that mouth... That thought... _'But I can't stop touching her.'_

He managed to break the kiss and grinned at you as he sat back again. He continued to tickle your leg, below the knee, to keep himself in check.

"Thank you.", you said, "that really feels nice."

He took your hand and kissed it, "The pleasure's all mine, doll."

The two of you managed to finish the rest of the movie while just cuddling; you pressed against his side, his arm around you, his head resting atop yours, which laid on his shoulder. But it was different now... The intentions behind it all had changed... It all felt new, even things you have done many times before were now charged with a much different energy. You wanted to be his and you wanted him to be yours.

Once the movie was over, he sat up at the edge of the seat cushion, removing his arm from your shoulders. He rested an elbow on one of his knees, his other forearm coming to rest on your thigh, his fingers tickling the inner side of your knee. You rubbed his back gently with a flat hand. He pressed his lips together as he looked over his shoulder at you in the glow of the TV, "Bed?"

You turned your head slightly and cocked an eyebrow.

He laughed, "Sorry, sleep."

You chuckled, "Yeah."

He switched off the TV and stood. There was a faint glow of stand by lights on the devices that were hooked up to the TV. He gave you a hand to help you up, then he quickly pulled up the waist of his pajama pants a little. As he did so, you started to walk along the couch away from him. He quickly bent towards you and grabbed your waist, "Uhn-uhn, c'mere." He pulled you to him and scooped you up in his arms as you giggled.

He turned and started for his bedroom and your put arm around his neck, your other hand resting against his chest as he gave you peck on the lips, "Your forehead, cheeks and head might not get the attention they're used to for a while now that I have these." He gave you another quick kiss. He set you down to lay on his bed and turned on the dim bedside lamp. 

"I thought we were going to sleep.", you looked at the lamp and gave it nod.

He crawled onto the bed and hunched over you, "We will... And then there's these.", he kissed your shoulder. Your hands went under his arms to his upper back as he continued, "And... This.", he kissed your neck using his tongue as well.

Your breath hitched and you sighed, "Seb?"

He continued giving your neck the attention he's wanted to for so long, "Mm?", he hummed against your skin.

"I'm really, _really_ loving this. But I'm sorry, I have to pee."

He rolled from over you to flop down onto his side in the bed as he chuckled, "Of course. Hurry back, doll."

You grunted as you sat up, then you started out the doorway, "I know, I have the worst timing."

You came back and the room was dark, a touch of moonlight coming through the window blinds. You crawled back into the bed as Sebastian held the blankets up for you to get under. You cuddled up to his chest and noticed it was bare; he had taken his shirt off. He always slept with a t-shirt on. "Oh. Hello skin.", you giggled as he wrapped his arms around you and you asked, "Are you still wearing pants?"

Sebastian laughed, "Yes. I just want to be comfortable and even closer to you now." He paused and then sighed, "You know we're going to have to talk to Chris about us."

You sighed sadly as well, "Yeah. I'm not looking forward to that."

"Me neither.", he replied.

After a few moments, he gently tilted your head up so that he could give you one more long, soft and slow kiss. He then kissed the tip of your nose lightly and held you closer, his cheek against the top of you head, "My baby... I can't tell you how happy I am to finally call you that. Mine."

Your heart swelled and you spoke softly against him, "How long have you been waiting for that?"

"Mmmm, ever since I met you, really. But, you never really seemed interested in that way. Plus, you dated, I dated; it just never felt like the right time. It became really strong about the time that Chris started dating Sharon and we got closer. To be honest though, anytime amount of time I had to wait to be with you, no matter how short, still would've been too long."

"Why did you pull away when we got close?"

"You told Chris you missed the way things used to be, so I went back to how it used to be."

"So you still wanted to be with me then?"

"Absolutely. I just did what I thought you wanted... And what you needed. I didn't want to make things more stressful for you by being needy and bringing it up. You had _just_ had a panic attack that day."

You suddenly felt awful, "Oh, Seb. I'm so sorry." You got up on your knees and bent over him, holding his face in your hands and kissing his mouth repeatedly as his hands went to your back, "I never wanted to hurt you."

"Doll,", he managed between kisses. You gave him one more then stopped to listen, "look, as much as I love you kissing the crap out of me,", you laughed, he chortled and continued, "it's okay. We're here now and that's all I care about. I couldn't be happier. What happened in the past doesn't matter to me. Right now is where I'm at- Well except for all the tasty moments between us since we first kissed. I like to revisit those."

You replied enthusiastically, "Mm-hm! Me too."

You both chuckled and you laid back down, resting your head on his chest and listening to his heartbeat. You felt like you were exactly where you were meant to be. You breathed him in and sighed, "God, I love how you smell."

He gave you a squeeze, "Right back 'atcha, sweets.", then he kissed your head.

"Nite, my Sebby."

He hummed with contentment, "G'nite my baby doll."

The next morning you and Sebastian made breakfast together and touched and kissed a lot. You both went out on the back deck to drink coffee and enjoy the warm morning sun. You sat in his lap and played with his hair as you both talked... And sometimes you were quiet, just enjoying each other or even nervously anticipating telling Chris about the two of you.

Sebastian told you, "Listen, when Chris gets home, I can do the talking."

You just nodded.

A few minutes later, you heard the front door open and close through the open sunroom window behind you. You both looked at each other and Sebastian raised his eyebrows as if to say 'Here we go.' You both stood and headed inside, meeting Chris in the kitchen, who was pouring himself some coffee, still wearing his sunglasses.

You and Sebastian just stood there, waiting for him to turn. When he did, he greeted you both groggily, "Morning."

Your heart was pounding. This is it.

Sebastian spoke, "Chris, we need to talk."

Chris sipped his coffee, took off his sunglasses and dropped them on the island as he passed it, wiped a hand over his face and started for the table, "Can it wait? I feel like hammered dog snot." He gently gripped the back of your neck and kissed your forehead as he passed you and sat at the table. He rubbed his forehead and took another sip.

You looked at Sebastian, his eyebrows were pulled even tighter together, "I don't think it can."

Chris looked between you both, his face looked suspicious. _'Is this it? Are they together now? Or have they already been together behind my back? Oh my God, is she pregnant?'_ He tried to just clear his mind, "Okay."

Sebastian started, "(Y/N) and I are together now.", he paused, "Since last night."

Chris's face looked hurt even though he tried to hide it. He nodded slowly and tried so hard to smile, but you and Seb could tell it was fake, "That's awesome guys. I kinda always knew you two would end up together." _'Fuck, I gave the perfect opportunity for this to happen by leaving last night. Well, no chance for me now.'_ He stood up, leaving his coffee right where it was. He went to you and stroked the side of your face with a closed hand once and spoke softly, "I'm gonna miss you, sweetheart."

You felt tears welling up in your eyes.

He stepped to Sebastian and put his hands on Seb's arms and gave one a single pat, "I'm happy for you, Seb."

With that, he turned, started to the island, grabbed his sunglasses and keys as he passed it and headed for the front door.

"Chris!", Sebastian called after him.

Chris didn't respond and soon you both heard the front door slam.

The tears fell quickly from your eyes, but you managed to hold back sobs. You both hurt him and you felt like shit for it.

You looked at Sebastian and his face was twisted up in regret, guilt and his own hurt for wondering if he just lost his best friend since middle school. He had tears barely hanging on in his own eyes.

He gathered you into his arms and spoke softly, his voice strained, "I'm so sorry, baby."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fucking cried.
> 
> Everyone needs a hug, including the writer.
> 
> Thanks for comments and kudos; love you guys.


	24. New Roads

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> "Chris!", Sebastian called after him.
> 
> Chris didn't respond and soon you both heard the front door slam.
> 
> The tears fell quickly from your eyes, but you managed to hold back sobs. You both hurt him and you felt like shit for it.
> 
> You looked at Sebastian and his face was twisted up in regret, guilt and his own hurt for wondering if he just lost his best friend since middle school. He had tears barely hanging on in his own eyes.
> 
> He gathered you into his arms and spoke softly, his voice strained, "I'm so sorry, baby."

Edited to add: you also need this Seb video since this is how he looks in the story right now. Lots of lip biting and licking and his hands in his hair. Yom. You're welcome. https://youtu.be/KOAf6L-ZnJo Too lazy too link it, sorry, you'll have to copy paste.

\-----

Chris drove away in his car. He had held in his emotions only until he reached the end of the street before his own tears started to fall. Even though he knew it would probably come to this, he wasn't prepared for it to happen so fast.

He felt like he lost everything that had meant so much to him in the blink of an eye; his two best friends, one that he had almost his whole life and the woman he wanted to call his own, and he lost them to each other. He had no idea what he was going to do. He went to a church parking lot, which he knew would be empty on a Saturday. He parked and finally let it all out, albeit quietly. He felt so alone.

Meanwhile, you and Sebastian just held each other as you cried against his chest. In his arms, you sobbed, "I need to call him. I need to make sure he's okay."

Sebastian stroked your hair and sniffed, "Baby, I'm not sure that that's even going to help right now."

You pulled back and looked into his eyes, "He needs to know that we care and I need to know he's okay. He's our friend."

What should have been a happy time for the two of you, suddenly became so painful, confusing and complicted. This wasn't the way it supposed to happen. How could he hurt his friend like this. On the other hand, how could he deny himself or you the love he felt for you. There didn't seem to be any right answer to all this, so he finally nodded and spoke softly, "Okay."

Chris's phone rang and he looked at it. It was you. He didn't answer, but tossed it into the passenger seat instead.

After a moment it notified him that he had a voicemail. He stared at the screen for a long while and reluctanly listened to it. Your voice came through the speaker; he could tell you had been crying, though you managed to speak clearly, "Chris, please, we need to know you're okay. We love you. We're so sorry this upset you. I-", you sniffed, "I need to know you're okay. Neither of us wants to lose you.", there was a pause, and your voice became shaky and desperate as you started crying again, "Please, Chris, please come home. We need you."

His face twisted up in pain as he clutched the phone tight in his fist and held it against his forehead. Hearing you hurting like that because of his own selfishness nearly ripped him in half.

_'Oh, God. I've hurt her. How could I do this to her when she means so much to me? Seb is what she wants. Who am I to punish her for that? And my best friend of so long?'_

He couldn't bring himself talk to you right now, so he sent you a text, _'I'll be okay. Please don't worry. I should be the one who's sorry. I am sorry. I shouldn't have left like that. I'll talk you guys in a while. I just need some time.'_

He sat in his car alone until he became numb; he was so overwhelmed that he eventually just shut down. He finally started his car and drove. When he reached his destination, he parked in the parking lot and walked into the building. He took the elevator and walked down the long hall he got off at. He stopped in front of the door and stood for a minute, staring at the number on it. He finally knocked and when it was answered, he spoke, "Hey." He was invited in and the door closed behind him.

You handed Sebastian your phone with the text open and went to sit at the table. Your crying had ceased, but you still felt so conflicted. You wanted so badly to be with Sebastian, but felt so guilty that this had uspst Chris. What the fuck were you supposed to do? You missed him. Things didn't feel whole anymore.

Sebastian set the phone down on the table and crouched next you, placing and hand to you back. He turned your face gently to look at him. His own face somber, his eyes searching yours as he spoke, "Honey, I know this feels unbelievably fucked up right now, but we'll all get past it, okay?" He wasn't even sure things were going to be okay between the three of you again, but he had to do something to comfort you... And himself.

You frowned, "I'm so sorry, Seb. I know this is hard for you too- for both of you. I'm the reason your friendship is in jeopardy. You guys have been friends for so long. I'm so sorry."

He took your hand, stood and pulled you up off the chair to take you in his arms again, "Don't, baby. Don't do that to yourself." His kissed your head, "Please. This isn't anyone's fault. He said he just needs some time. He still wants to be our friend and he will be."

Neither of you knew the real reason Chris was so bothered by this other than it causing a rift in the kind of friendship you had all shared for so long; neither of you knew that it was because Chris was in love with you.

Sebastian spoke again, "What can I do for you, doll?"

"Just hold me. I need you."

Despite all the chaos in his head, your words made him feel complete in that moment and he smiled just a little, "It's okay, baby, I'm here. I've got you."

He took your hand and led you to your room. He laid down on the bed and hitched his head slightly, "Come on.", he opened his arms and you crawled onto the bed, taking your place in his embrace. He looked at you, his face soft. He kissed your lips so gently, "No matter what happens, I will never regret being with you... because I need you too."

You smiled and he gave another kiss that echoed the one before. You both just lay there, fulfilling the need you both had at that moment.

A week had passed and Chris hadn't returned yet. He had come home on Monday to retrieve his laptop, some clothes and other essentials when you and Seb had already left for work. He worked remotely from wherever he was staying during that time. While he had been gone, you and Sebastian felt off, but still managed to enjoy being together.

He texted Seb on Saturday morning to say he was coming home that afternoon to talk with you both.

Just after lunch he came in the door, you and Sebastian stopped doing the dishes and met him halfway in the dining room. You smiled cautiously and he gave you a hug, and then Sebastian while he was the first to speak, "I am so sorry you guys. My reaction was way out of line." He took a step back and shoved his hands in his pockets. "We've all been so close and I just didn't know what was going to happen. I didn't wanna lose you two either and I was really afraid I had."

Sebastian shook his head, "No way, man. We still want you around."

You nodded in agreement.

"I really am happy for the two of you. All I really want is for you guys to be happy, no matter what that means."

You gave him another hug, "We're sorry too. We never wanted to upset you."

"I know, hon.", he replied.

Sebastian started, "We were just gonna go hang at the park. You wanna join us?"

"Nah, I've got plans, but I'll see you guys soon. Still working through some stuff, so I won't be coming back just yet."

You nodded slightly, "Will you at least tell us where you're staying?"

"With Sharon.", he replied.

Sebastian pulled the corners of his mouth down a bit and nodded in approval.

You also nodded, "Oh, okay. Nice.", you smiled. Any jealousy you had felt before really wasn't there now and you actually hoped that they had worked their previous issues out and that things could work for them this time.

Sebastian spoke, "I hope it works out for you this time, Chris."

"Me too.", Chris replied.

You smiled, "We want you to be happy."

"Thank you."

He hugged you both once more and went on his way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry so short; wanted to get something out today, but I'm ferkin' tired!
> 
> Thank you AO3, and goodnight!
> 
> xoxo
> 
> Zzzzzz...


	25. Inch By Inch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
>  
> 
> Sebastian spoke, "I hope it works out for you this time, Chris."
> 
> "Me too.", Chris replied.
> 
> You smiled, "We want you to be happy."
> 
> "Thank you."
> 
> He hugged you both once more and went on his way.

Chris headed back to Sharon's apartment and when he came in the door, she was on the couch, reading.

She looked up from her book, then set it down on the side table, "How'd it go?"

He sighed as he sat next to her and took her hand as he shifted sideways to face her with his knee bent and resting on the cushion, his arm over the back. He nodded, "It went well, I think."

When he had first shown up at her place a week ago, he told her what was going on and expressed the same concerns he had just told you and Sebastian. But he didn't mention anything about his feelings for you. He couldn't tell anyone that. If were to do that, everything would fall apart for sure.

Over the time they were apart, Sharon had actually started coming to terms with the kind of friendship you and Chris had and that the last panic attack you had during that party was in fact a situation that had called for what did happen. And she realized that Chris really was only doing what a friend would do... for both you and Seb. Nat's words stuck with her even after she had left that night, _'know that if you gave him the chance, he'd do the same for you.'_

She spent all that time wanting to call him, but felt so ashamed about how she acted, she didn't dare. So seeing him at her door that morning gave her hope. He didn't hate her for it. She had apologized and told him that she made a mistake and that she really wanted to be with him.

They had gotten pretty close over that week. He had missed her and he began to want to try again. She helped talk him through what was going on and she really did approach it with the best interest of all three of you in mind. She proved to be that valuable view from the outside and it really helped him sort things out.

She nodded, "I'm glad, honey. Whenever you're ready to spend time with them again, let me know. I'll be there if you want, but I'll always be here for you.", she ran a hand through his hair and kissed him. "I know how important they are to you."

He smiled at her, "You're pretty awesome. Thank you, babe."

Over the following week, Chris was coming to the office to work again and people in the circle of friends started finding out what was changing, but everyone was incredibly supportive to all of you; the three if you weren't the only good friends you all had.

You and Sebastian had kept things pretty professional at work, but it was now proving difficult for Sebastian. The two of you worked in different departments, but that didn't stop him from tracking you down occasionally in the break room or copy room to sneak a kiss or two.

On one occasion, while walking through the hallway, he spotted you going into an office supply closet just outside yours and Pepper's office suite. He jogged to the doorway and went in, closing the door behind him. You jumped and whipped around, clutching your chest, a box of pens in your other hand, "Jesus, Seb. You scared the shit outta me."

He smirked as he locked the door behind his back, "Sorry, doll." He moved quickly to you and took you into his arms.

"Why did you lock the door?", you asked suspiciously.

"I need a little time alone with you. It's so hard to stay away." He brushed a lock of hair away from your face with his fingertips and then kissed you quickly and hungrily. You dropped the box of pens and it spilled open when it hit the floor. Your hands tangled in his hair as you let him take your mouth. You both got worked up very quickly.

He started kissing your neck. You threw your head back and let out a moan when his teeth grazed your skin.

He spoke quietly against your neck as he kept kissing, his stuble scraping against you there, "Shhh, quiet, baby."

You pressed your lips together to silence yourself as he continued, growling into your neck as he started to lift the hem of your skirt, "You look so fucking sexy in this little skirt." 

Your heart jumped, you whimpered and his mouth came to yours again as his hand traveled up underneath your skirt, lifting your leg and holding it against his hip as he gave the back of your thigh a squeeze.

You broke the kiss. "Oh God. Seb...", you breathed out as he went to your collarbone on the opposite side, tugging your blouse aside slightly to get better access.

He hummed against you.

"I gotta get back. We can't-", he bit your neck gently and you gasped. "Seb... stop.", you pleaded breathlessly.

He halted himself, panting and bringing his forehead to rest against yours. He released your leg as you smoothed his hair with your hands and he whispered, "I'm sorry."

You chuckled, pushing your skirt back down in place, "It's okay, honey. I was really loving it, but we can't here; when we get home."

He pulled back and smiled softly, looking at you with affection and passion, "Okay." He kissed your forehead and reached behind you on the shelf for another box of pens, then handed it to you, "Go on, I'll pick up the others."

"Thank you." You gave him a quick peck on the lips and left with him staring after you.

That Friday, the whole group went out for karaoke again, Chris and Sharon included. The place was packed and there weren't enough chairs for everyone so some of you girls had to sit on your guys' laps at times.

You had the chance to talk to Sharon quite a bit and she discovered that you were sweet and down to earth. She was beginning to really like you.

Sam and Maria started with Nelly Fertado and Timberland's "Promiscuous". They had some amazing chemistry up there.

You were sitting next to Sebastian while he flipped through one of the songbooks as you rested your head against his shoulder and had your arm hooked around his, his elbow resting on the table. You looked as well while he turned the pages. You spotted a song and grabbed a slip of paper and pencil from the center of the table and started scribbling.

He paused on a page for a while. He closed the book and turned to you, giving you quick kiss on the cheek. He turned away from you to write and you spoke up, "What did you pick?"

He just shook his head, folded the paper and grinned at you.

"What is it?", you smiled.

"Don't worry about it. You'll find out.", he winked and gave your knee a ticklish squeeze.

You jerked and squeaked, pushing his hand away.

He laughed, "You're so cute.", he kissed your cheek again and got up to turn both your slips in to the DJ.

Thor actually got Jane to up to sing a duet with him, but she was giggling and covering her face more than she was singing, Thor trying to expose her the whole time.

You were up next and sang "6 Underground" by Sneaker Pimps.

Sebastian went next right after you. As he stood, he leaned in close to your ear and said so only you could hear, "This one's for you, baby." He kissed your head and made his way to the stage.

The music started and you instantly recognized the song; "Sugar" by Maroon 5.

"Oh my God.", you covered your face.

Nat was next to you and leaned over, "What's wrong?"

You uncovered you face and managed to look at Sebastian, difficult as it was, when he started singing. Nat followed your gaze and saw that he was looking at only you. "Ohhhh.", she smiled so huge and nudged you. You glanced at her then covered your face again. "Someone's got it bad for you.", she added.

You were so embarrassed, you felt so many eyes on you when people figured out he was singing to you. But you soon relaxed and took in every flirty face, every wink, point and smile he sent your way. You smiled back and scrunched your nose at him. Holy shit, he's hitting all the high notes. He even threw in that adorable chuckle at the end.

As he made his way back to the table, Nat said close to you, "You cut him off or something?"

You scoffed and playfully shoved her and said quietly, "Nothing's happened."

You stood as he approached, "Well someone wants it to.", she called up at you.

You were smiling ear to ear and people were still applauding when he reached you. He hugged you up, lifting you off the floor and a gave you a rapid succession of kisses on your neck, playfully growling as he spun you around once.

The crowd got louder and some were wolf whistling and shouting as Sebastian set you down. A guy boomed out, "Take her home!" You scoffed in embarrassmemt, hiding your face in your hands and against his chest. Sebastian wrapped his arms around you snuggly, threw his head back laughed. He sat, pulling you down on his lap and gave you a quick kiss, smiling.

"Thank you.", you grinned and scrunched your nose.

Thor spoke up, clapping, "That was precious!"

Tony quipped, "I don't think 'precious' is what you'd call that."

Everyone laughed... even Chris.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm feeling lazy today, so if you want to hear the songs, you'll have to look them up in youtube, sorry.
> 
> Let me know what you think.
> 
> Thanks for all the comments and kudos, they make me wang to keep writing!
> 
> xoxo


	26. Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Refresher:
> 
> Thor spoke up, clapping, "That was precious!"
> 
> Tony quipped, "I don't think 'precious' is what you'd call that."
> 
> Everyone laughed... even Chris.

Once the night wound down and everyone had their share of beers, the group talked out in the parking lot for another 30 minutes before disbanding and returning to their respective homes. It felt really weird going home from a bar and drinking without Chris.

You had only drank enough to get a little buzzed and giggly during the course of the night. When you and Sebastian were leaving, said buzz was already waning. You were actually pretty glad you decided to take it easy this time, considering that you still habored a bit of guilt and shame for what you did to Chris the last time you had drank.

Once you and Sebastian reached the car, he opened the door for you. You just stood next to him, looking up at him affectionately. He grinned, "What?"

You shifted to stand between him and the car, facing him, your eyes were soft and you gave him a modest smile, "You sure now how to embarrass a girl."

He huffed out a laugh, tilting his head, his eyes flitting up and to the right while he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. He took a small step forward and rested his hands on your waist, "Sorry, doll. I didn't mean to embarrass you, but it was still fun." He gave you a quick kiss as you started to put your arms around his neck.

When he pulled away, you pulled him back to you and he moved towards you again to oblige your wordless request. "But you also really know how to make a girl feel special." You kissed him slow and soft and when your lips left his, he lingered where he was, taking a moment more than you to open his eyes.

"It's easy when she's already special and the only one you see...", he tilted his head and raised his eyebrows, "And unnaturally hot."

You laughed softly and looked at him with doe eyes, then he kissed your forehead. You got in the car and he closed your door. Once he got in, he backed out of the parking space, shifted into drive, took your hand and kissed it, "Mine.", he smiled.

You returned his sweet smile and nodded, "Yours."

His hand came to rest on your thigh, still holding yours as he drove home.

When you both came in the front door, Seb lead you in with a hand on the small of your back before he stepped in behind you. You walked to you room as Sebastian set his keys on one of the hooks and moved to the fridge. "I'm glad that Chris and Sharon came tonight.", you called out as you kicked off your shoes and moved to your dresser.

Sebastian entered the room as you turned, tossing your pajamas on the foot of the bed. He had a bottle of water to his lips, chugging it halfway down before handing it to you. You took a long drink as he spoke, "Yeah, me too. I've been worried about him. He looks like he's getting to a good place now and I've talked to him several times this week."

You handed him the water back and he finished it off as you spoke, "You think he'll ever come back?"

He took a deep breath and shook his tilted head as he cocked an eyebrow, tossing the bottle in your trash can, "I honestly don't know. I sure as hell hope he doesn't feel like he can't."

You sighed and nodded, "Yeah." You paused. "Well, I'm gonna change for bed."

"Okay, baby.", he took a step closer, put an arm around your shoulders and kissed your head, "Me too.", he turned and took a step away before turning back and coming up behind you to hold you around your middle, his chin resting on your shoulder, "Can I make a request?"

You chuckled, "Okay."

He moved your hair away from your neck then returned his arm to your waist, "Would you please wear one of my shirts?" He kissed the base of your neck softly. "I've been picturing you in one of my shirts for as long as I can remember. I'd love to see it in real life, not just in my head."

You felt a flutter in your stomach and smiled, turning your head just until it touched his, "I would love that."

"Awesome," he kissed your head again, "I'll go get it." He headed for his room and you went into the bathroom to brush your teeth.

You bent over the sink to spit and cup a handful of water into your mouth to rinse and spit again. When you straightened and started rinsing your toothbrush, you saw Sebastian in the doorway behind you in the mirror, holding a navy blue shirt up in his grasp.

Your eyebrows raised as put your toothbrush in the holder and wiped your hands and face on the hand towel near the sink. You turned and went to him and reached for the shirt, "Is this...", you opened it and held it up in your hands to get a look at it. It was a long sleeved jersey tee. It looked so... big as you held it up. "Oh my God, this is my favorite shirt of yours." You beamed, pulling your hands to your chest, still holding it, "I always thought you looked so good in this."

One corner of his mouth pulled up, "Imagine that." He folded his arms and leaned against the door frame, crossing his ankles and looking you up and down, "I bet you'll look even better in it." He winked. "I'm gonna go get ready for bed. Meet me downstairs?"

"Yes.", you smiled and buried you face in his shirt and smelled it. You took a deep breath in through your nose. As you pulled the shirt away, you dropped your head back, closed your eyes and let out a contented sigh.

Sebastian laughed, "You just keep getting more adorable everyday, doll." You smiled and he took a step towards you to give you a quick kiss, "Don't be too long; we both know what happens when I miss you too much..." He smirked and soon after, disappeared down the stairs.

On his way down he thought about how you had smelled his shirt and seemed so happy for it. It made him feel so wanted and a huge grin crept across his face as he entered his bathroom to brush his own teeth.

You went to your room and changed into the shirt. It came to just below mid-thigh on you. It was quite loose and the ribbed sleeves nearly covered your hands completely. You looked in the mirror on your closet door. Hmm. It's cute. You picked up your pajama shorts off your bed and stepped into one leg and then paused. He stopped wearing shirts to bed to be more comfortable; surely you could stop wearing shorts or pants over your underwear. You stepped back out of the shorts and placed them back on your bed.

When you reached the bottom of the stairs, you could hear Sebastian's TV on in his room. When you stepped in and spoke, he was laying on his back in pajama pants and no shirt, one hand up behind the pillows propped behind his head, eyes glued to a show on the TV which sat on his dresser against the wall across from the foot of his bed. "Well?", you asked holding your hands slightly away from your hips, palms out.

He turned his head to the side, away from the TV, his eyes following a second after.

His eyebrows shot up and he took a deep breath, "Wow. Even better than I imagined." He sat up, scooted to the edge of the bed and sat in front of you, placing his feet on the floor. He pulled you closer and you laid your hands on his shoulders. He looked up at you and hummed, licking his lips. "Adorable. But...", he rested his hands against the outsides of your thighs just below the shirt hem, "Well, we can add another item to the list of things you look fucking sexy in." His thumbs were stroking your skin softly.

You giggled and he watched one of his hands as both of them slowly slid upwards and under the shirt... You sighed... And he kept going... until he reached the crease of your hip.

He looked up to your face quickly, cocking an eyebrow, "Miss, you aren't wearing pajama shorts, are you?"

You bit one side of your lip, smiling coyly and shaking your head.

He groaned in tortured restraint as he removed his hands, wrapped his arms around your middle and rested his forehead against your stomach, "What are you doing to me?"

You smirked even though he couldn't see your face, "I dunno, what am I doing?"

He looked up at you, his lips pressed together at you smart-assed question, "Driving me crazy, that's what you're doing."

He stood quickly, grabbed you on either side of your ribs and he lifted you effortlessly, spun around, put you down on the bed and kneeled on the mattress next to your legs.

He bent down and kissed you, taking his time as he pushed forward with a hand on your back as you moved up toward the headboard. He eased you down onto your back and settled himself beside you, propped on an elbow. You turned your body toward him and clasped your hands together behind his neck to keep his lips locked with yours. You put your leg over his waist. He hummed against your mouth. His hand started at the hem of the shirt again, gliding up softly until he reached the fabric of your underwear on your hip. He slid just his fingertips under the seam and started to move lightly along underneath it, down to your ass.

You let out a soft whimper against his lips in reaction to his touch.

He broke the kiss and rolled away from you onto his back. He rubbed his eyes with the thumb and forefinger of one hand, "I'm sorry."

You got up on your elbow and put your hand on his chest, concerned, "Seb, what's wrong?"

He wiped his face with his hand, "I don't want to go further yet. I mean, _I DO_ want to. God, do I. But-", he sighed as you just listened, waiting for him to get his thought out. He continued as he looked at you and put his hand over yours, "I just don't want to rush things with you. I want to do this right and let us enjoy each new stage we come to before dashing to the next one. And I don't want to rush you either."

You tilted your head sympathetically, "I understand, honey." You were actually still really enjoying everything that you both have been doing since that first kiss. "You wanna just watch TV? Or go to sleep?", you asked.

He nodded, "Yeah- Well, no, but yeah." You both laughed.

You pulled the blankets up from the foot of the bed and laid against his chest and he put his arm around you as he spoke, "I think I'll just watch TV for a bit. You can sleep if you want, doll." He reached over to the night stand and clicked the lamp off. He then turned the volume of the TV down so he could barely hear it and wrapped his now free arm around you as well. He kissed your head, "I'm sorry. Are you sure you're okay with waiting?"

"Yes. You taught me that waiting pays off the first time you kissed me.", you smiled up at him.

He laughed and nodded, "That's right. I did, didn't I?"

"Yes. Holy shit, yes. Yes, you did."

This drew another laugh from him and he kissed your head once more, "You're amazing."

You placed a quick kiss on his neck in return and smiled, "So are you, my Sebby." 

You watched the TV for a moment and quickly drifted off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was getting long and I haven't updated recently. So here's the first half, the second half will become the next chapter.
> 
> Let me know what you think and that you're still reading!
> 
> Thanks for the comment and kudos!
> 
> xoxo


	27. Raise The Bar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> "Yes. You taught me that waiting pays off the first time you kissed me.", you smiled up at him.
> 
> He laughed and nodded, "That's right. I did, didn't I?"
> 
> "Yes. Holy shit, yes. Yes, you did."
> 
> This drew another laugh from him and he kissed your head once more, "You're amazing."
> 
> You placed a quick kiss on his neck in return and smiled, "So are you, my Sebby."
> 
> You watched the TV for a moment and quickly drifted off.

You woke to a dark room. You realized you were in the bed alone and you sat up. The clock said it had only been about 40 minutes since you had fallen asleep. You could barely hear a TV on through the silence. You turned your head to see the bedroom door was touching the frame, but not closed, a faint glow illuminating around all the edges.

You scooted to the edge of the bed and set your feet on the floor while rubbing an eye with your fist. You stood and went to the door, opening it. You saw the back of Sebastian's head sticking up over the back of the couch. You took a couple steps out onto the carpet, stopped and spoke barely over a whisper, "Sebastian?"

His head whipped around and then he spoke sweetly, his voice low, "Oh, hey, honey." He stood and the both of you headed towards the same end of the couch to meet each other. "Did I wake you?", he held out his hand and when you took it he guided you around the end of the couch and took you in his arms and you rested your cheek against his chest.

"No. Well, maybe. I think I woke up because you weren't there."

His kissed your head, "I'm sorry, baby. You want me to come lay with you until you fall asleep again?"

"No, that's okay. Can I sit with your for a bit?"

"Yeah, of course." He led you by the hand back to where he had been sitting. He plopped down and you sat next to his side with your feet pulled up on the couch, your legs curled up to the other side of you. He grabbed the throw blanket he had been using and put it over your legs, then put his arm around your shoulders and kissed your temple.

You looked at him, curiously, "Why are you up? Are you okay?"

He reached for the remote next to him, muted the TV, set it down and returned his attention to you. He pressed his lips together, "It's hard to sleep in the same bed with you now."

Your brows furrowed in confusion.

He sighed and continued, "We keep getting closer and closer to that next edge, you know-- And well," he sighed again, "I want you so badly now that I can't even sleep laying next to you." His gaze went sideways to the coffee table in front of the couch, but his head didn't move.

You thought for a beat, your eyes watching his face. He looked to be in conflicted thought. He looked like he couldn't decide what to do... So you decided to give him a push.

"You can have me, you know." You shifted up onto your knees and he looked up at you. "We don't have to wait...", you swung a bent knee to the other side of his legs and his hands instinctively went to your hips as you stratled him, sitting down gently and putting your hands flat on his chest and smirking.

He tilted his head back, resting it against the back of the couch, took a deep breath and closed his eyes, trying to compose himself, "Oh my God, you're sitting on me."

You chuckled, "I've sat on your lap plenty of times, Seb."

He lifted his head, opened his eyes and licked his lips. His eyes were intense, "Never like this." He was having a hard time pushing down the urge he was having. His grip on your hips tightened gently and he rocked them against himself, ever so slightly. Your mouth opened just enough to let out a heavy sigh and your head fell back a little while you both closed your eyes and he let out a barely audible grunt. You could feel him start to harden against you through the light fabrics between the both of you. It lit a fire inside you.

You leaned forward, your lips going to his neck while your hand gripped his shoulder, the other holding the back of his neck. You gave his skin a torturously slow and soft kiss, using your tongue and punctuating it with a gentle bite. His breath caught and you spoke barely above a whisper against his ear, "I want you, Sebastian." You paused right where you were, breathing against his ear, not wanting anything to distract you from his reponse. He was completely hard by the end of your statement.

He groaned, his voice gravelly, "Jesus. Say it again, baby. Please."

You drew out your words slowly this time, accentuating the word 'want' with a little whine and a slow roll of your hips against his length.

He growled, his hands gripping your arms and he pushed you back just enough for him to sit up straight. His hands where then on either side of your face as his lips crashed into yours and he kissed you urgently. His arms wrapped around your arms and back as he scooted to the edge of the cushion. He grabbed your ass and stood. You wrapped your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck. You squeaked and giggled as he bounced you up a bit higher into a better position, one arm returning to around your back as he headed for his bedroom. 

He kissed you again as he walked. He was smiling against your mouth as he spoke, his voice rough, "Well, then you'll have me."

You threw your head back, "Yay!"

You both laughed as he kneeled on his bed, still holding you and moving to where he could lay you down with your head on the pillows. The glow from the TV outside the open door illuminated the room just enough to barely see each other, even though the light wasn't directly on the bed at all.

He rested his hips between your legs and you could feel his hardness pressing against you again. Your hands and arms were now spread across his broad shoulders and upper back. He kissed you slowly, softly and passionately as he stroked your hair away from your face. He then gave your neck the same attention. You were breathing deeply, your heart beating faster as you hummed at the feel of his lips on your skin. You could already tell he was going to get you worked up painfully slowly, just like the first time he kissed you. And you were soooo looking forward to it.

You shivered because your legs were a little cold. He noticed and reached over to grab the blanket as his lips left you and he looked at you, "You cold, baby?" He pulled the blanket over the both of you.

"Yes. Thank you."

"Fucking air conditioning.", he went back to work on your neck, "But you'll be grateful for it later.", he grazed your neck with his teeth in a slow biting motion.

You whimpered, then whispered, "Oh."

"You don't have to be quiet, doll. I love those little noises, but don't hold back either."

"Okay.", you whispered.

He lifted the weight of his hips from you and got on his knees. With one hand on the bed near your side, he started to lift the bottom edge of your shirt by splaying his hand on your thigh and moving upwards his thumb over the shirt hem. He growled, "God damn, I can't wait to have these amazing legs wrapped around me."

You sighed as butterflies burst in your stomach and you felt yourself get even wetter at the thought of him inside you. You could only hum in response.

He continued to push the shirt up until it reached your ribs. He placed his hands on either side of you there and stroked his thumbs over your skin. He brushed his lips on you lightly between them. Your breath hitched and you hummed.

Your hand pushed into his hair, the other gripped his bicep near you. You could feel his hot breath, fallen strands of his hair tickling you and then his lips paired with his soft tongue, trailing kisses downward, teasingly. Your core was tightening with anticipation as he descended slowly. When his lips reached the top of your panties, you bit your lip and whispered, "Oh my God, Seb." His hands were on your hips now, his thumbs massaging the dips just inside your hip bones as he hummed against you. He was lost in how soft you were and the scent of you; a combination of your skin, your arousal, and what had rubbed off from his shirt. _'Mine.'_ , he thought as he glanced up at you, grinning devilishly. He then took the top hem of your underwear in his teeth, grazing your skin as he did. He pulled upward and then opened his mouth slightly to let it snap back down against your skin.

You gasped and instinctively grasped his arm.

He dragged his lips back up your body and you whined.

He chuckled, "What's wrong, baby?"

"I thought you were gonna to keep going."

He was over you again, "Patience, doll."

"I knew you were going to torture me.", you said and you both laughed softly.

"Of course. But I don't consider it torture; it's just one way to take care of you, to make sure you get the best version of what you need." He kissed your lips, his tongue embracing and teasing yours tenderly. He pulled back slightly and gazed at you, his eyes traveling over all the features of you face. "Before I first kissed you, I said I wanted to ask you something. And now, before this, I want to tell you something." He placed his hand against your jaw and stroked your cheek with his thumb. His eyes met yours, burning. 

His jaw clenched and his voice was low, "I love you, (Y/N)."

Your heart felt like it might explode as you took a deep breath in, which caught twice as you did and then you breathed out, "I love you too, Sebastian."

He let out a desperate breath as his mouth went to yours quickly. He pressed his hips against you hard and you moaned. His lips left yours and he sat back on his feet as he pulled you up to sit and lifted the shirt up over your head and tossed it to the floor. He was moving more quickly than you had expected. You laid down again and he hunched over you, his arms behind your back and he planted kisses across your collarbone. Your hand found his hair again, the other on his shoulder. He dragged his tongue down between your breasts and you hummed. His mouth settled on one of your erect nubs and his tongue circled it gently, causing a drawn out moan and a hip roll from you, then he sucked as he released it.

His lips worked their way down again, a bit more quickly this time, his breath ragged. When he reached your underwear, he licked your skin with the tip of his tongue along the length of the waistband. You quivered, "Oh, Jesus."

You weren't cold anymore, which was good because the blanket went down with him near the foot of the bed.

He chuckled mischievously, kneeled, grabbed the sides of your panties and dragged them down. You lifted your legs straight up and he finished removing them. They joined the shirt on the floor. You put your feet flat on the bed, legs parted slightly. His hands met your knees and pushed them apart gently as they slid down your inner thighs. He licked his lips and looked at you lustfully, "I can't wait to taste you, baby."

You whimpered and turned your head slightly, your eyes meeting his.

He lowered himself down and positioned your legs over his shoulders. He was so close to you that you could feel his breath against you. You were panting in anticipation when the tip of his tongue finally touched you, gliding up your soaking slit to that bundle of nerves at the top were he planted a soft, open mouth kiss, swiping his flat tongue over it softly and you let out a quiet yelp.

He lifted his head, bit his lip and hummed, "Mmmm, you taste so sweet, doll." He swept his fingertips up and down against your crevice, "And so fucking wet.", he punctuated that with slipping two long fingers into you easily and you whimpered loudly. He growled, his fingers resting still inside you as he circled his thumb over your clit with the perfect pressure.

You were breathing heavily and and moaning, "Oh, God."

He started to push his fingers in and out of you and his mouth was over your clit again, the pressure of his tongue was so light, focusing on the very tip. He was hardly moving, but he had found a particularly sensitive and responsive spot. 

You held your breath for a beat and panted out, "Oh! Oh my God, right there, baby." He hummed against you and wrapped his free arm around your thigh, squeezing it. He stilled his fingers inside you and focused his tongue on you. Heat traveled down your legs and then your feet felt like they were on fire; an experience you'd never had before. You tried so hard to stay still, but your back started to arch slowly. Your hand was gripping his hair tightly, the other had a fistful of pillow near your head.

Your moans were coming faster now and more loudly as you felt a coiling low in your belly. You could feel it coming quickly, your upper body turning slightly; now this was torture. "Holy shit...", you breathed out and suddenly you broke, crying out loudly.

He stilled his tongue, pressing it firmly against your nerves while they pulsed; a pulsing he also felt around his fingers inside you. You were sobbing and trying to writhe, but he held your hips tightly against him and the bed. Once you started to come down, he licked you slowly with a flat tongue from bottom to top again to savor your release.

You jerked and squeaked when he reached the spot that was now extremely sensitive. You were shaking and panting hard, "Oh. My. God."

He straightened while kneeling, a hand still on your leg as he started to push down his pants and boxer briefs while he licked his lips, "Mmm, thank you, doll."

You chuckled, "Why do you keep thanking me when you're the one making me feel amazing?" Your face got serious as you watched him work off his bottoms and caught a glimpse of his impressive erection in the dim light. You bit your lip as he spoke.

"Because you aren't the only one who benefits.", he quickly wiped your wetness from the stubble on his chin with his pants and threw them on the floor. He positioned himself over you and kissed you softly. You could taste yourself in his mouth and it turned you on more. You reached down and rubbed your palm against the underside of his length. He broke the kiss and sighed, letting his head drop and hang down. You gripped him gently and rubbed the tip with your thumb, spreading the wetness that had seeped out.

He lifted his head to look at you just as you put that same thumb in your mouth and sucked it seductively to taste him. His brows furrowed and he sucked in a quiet breath through clenched teeth. God, thank was fucking sexy.

He leaned over you, supporting himself on his elbows, his hand around your back. He kissed your temple lovingly and then rested his forehead against it. Your hands were splayed gently on either side of his neck. He was breathing deeply as he rubbed the head of his cock against your entrance, so wet from what he just did to you. He pushed into you slowly, but easily. He squeezed his eyes shut as he groaned deeply and you gasped at him filling you steadily.

Once he was completely rooted in you, he paused and whispered against your cheek, "Jesus Christ, you're so fucking tight."

You hummed and moved your hips beneath him, silently begging him to move. He answered you by pulling back so slowly, almost all the way out before pushing back in. You were breathing his name in his ear, which urged him on, his speed increasing. While still supporting himself over you, he reached back and wrapped each of your legs around his waist.

His lips met yours and kissed your hungrily as each of his thrusts came quicker and with more force. You began mewling and moaning loudly, gripping his shoulders and occasionally biting one of them or his neck. 

He buried his face against your neck, panting as he now shoved in and out of you relentlessly, each slam of his hips forcing the breath from you slightly. You sobbed against his shoulder as you felt yourself swelling around him tightly. You were surprised when, without warning, you found yourself hurtling over the edge again. Your crying out was nearly a scream and you were shaking against his body and squeezing him even tighter inside you.

He growled deeply against your neck, "Fuck, baby." He gripped the back of one of your thighs, pushing your bent knee up near your side and pounded even harder. You were whimpering loudly as you were still riding out your own orgasm. With one final thrust and a low, drawn out groan, he spilled into you, trying desperately to be even deeper inside you.

He stayed there for a moment kissing your temple and cheek repeatedly while tickling your side lightly with his fingertips. He finally lifted his head, still panting slightly, "Holy shit."

You chuckled, "Agreed."

He licked his lips, biting the lower one before he kissed your lips softly, "I love you, baby."

You wrapped your arms around his neck and smiled, "I love you too, honey." You gave him a kiss in return.

He lifted himself off you and crawled backwards to the foot of the bed while peppering kisses down one side of your body from shoulder to ankle. You smiled lovingly at him as he did. He stood, smoothed his hair back with a hand and rounded the corner of the bed on his way to get a towel as you said, "Hurry back, lover."

His face scrunched up in happiness and he couldn't help but lean over you and hum while he gave you another kiss, "I like that." Then he left the room.

When he returned, he had turned off the TV in the family room. In the faint green light of his alarm clock, he found you and wiped between your legs gently, then wiped himself and tossed the towel in his hamper.

He laid down on his side and pulled you against him and pulled the covers over the two of you and kissed your head.

After a moment you spoke, "I've never had an orgasm like that before."

"Oh? Whaddaya mean?", he inquired as he held you in his arms.

"Well, both of them actually.", you laughed. "The first one had totally different, and much more intense, sensations from anything I've felt before and you did so little to make it happen so quickly. The second one, well... I've never had one from just fucking."

He laughed, "You're getting a filthy mouth, darling. And way to stroke my ego, telling me that."

"You're one to talk.", you poked his side.

He jerked and laughed, "Hey!"

"I just thought you should know that you're one of a kind to me and I'm glad that you're mine. You know exactly how to please me like no one else has... And on the first try... With everything. It feels like you were meant just for me. You're pretty amazing, Stan.", you scrunched your nose at him.

He kissed your nose, "Thank you, doll. I'd like to think we were made for each other and you're pretty fucking incredible yourself."

"And you wonder where I'm getting my filthy mouth from?"

He smirked, "Oh, I don't wonder. I know exactly where you're getting it from." He lifted your chin and gave you a soft kiss, "Goodnight, baby."

You laid your head back on his chest, "Goodnight... Lover."

He smiled against your head and you both drifted off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THERE IT IS; the long awaited Seb/reader smut! Hope I did well.
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments keep me going!
> 
> Thanks for all your input thus far! You guys are amazing!
> 
> xoxo


	28. Turning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Refresher:
> 
> He smirked, "Oh, I don't wonder. I know exactly where you're getting it from." He lifted your chin and gave you a soft kiss, "Goodnight, baby."
> 
> You laid your head back on his chest, "Goodnight... Lover."
> 
> He smiled against your head and you both drifted off.

Chris sat on a stool at Sharon's counter sipping his coffee the next morning. It was Saturday. He was thinking about going back home today. It had been two weeks and he really missed you and Sebastian. He was content enough with Sharon and really enjoyed being with her, but she didn't feel like home... The two of you did. He was homesick. But, how the hell was he going to deal with the new arrangement? No more close affection... No more touching. He wouldn't feel right being affectionte with you anyway, even if by some bizzare chance you and Sebastian were okay with it, which he knew would never be the case.

Seeing you and Sebastian together last night wasn't the hardest thing to bear. It was knowing that he couldn't touch you, that you belonged to Seb now and his chance was gone... An image of you and Sebastain tangled together in bed flashed in his mind and he put a hand over his closed eyes, squeezing his temples with his thumb and middle finger, trying to push the image away.

"You okay, honey?", Sharon entered from her bedroom, fiddling with a bracelet on her wrist.

He smiled at her, "Yeah, just tired."

"I'm sorry.", she walked to him.

He nodded, "It's okay, just not awake yet."

She held the bracelet around her wrist and held it out and chuckled, "Help? Please?"

He clasped it for her and she leaned in to give him a quick kiss, which he returned.

"Thank you.", she beamed. "You sure you don't wanna come to breakfast?" She was meeting with her parents and sister.

He shook his head, "Nah, I think I'll go for a run."

She grabbed her purse and headed out the door, "Okay, honey, see you later."

You woke up alone in the bed to the smell of bacon. Oh yum, bacon. You laid there for a while, thinking and giving your tired body and mind time to get motivated to actually move. You slept like the dead, thanks to two mind-blowing orgasms, but you were up pretty late.

You got up and put your underwear and Sebastian's shirt back on to go to the bathroom. You made a mental note to get a new pair of underwear when you went upstairs. You then crawled back in the bed and stared at the ceiling.

You thought about Chris and how you missed him. You thought you might like to call him and see if he's planning on coming home soon. And you hoped he was doing better.

You didn't hear Sebastian come down the stairs, nor peek his head in the doorway to see if you were awake, since the door was right on the other side of the nightstand which was next to the head of the bed. He had put on jeans and went upstairs to make breakfast while you were still sleeping. 

He rushed in and jumped on all fours over you in the bed.

You screamed in surprise and he started playfully growling and trying to get at your neck with his mouth while you tucked your shoulders up in an attempt to thwart his efforts, all while squealing and laughing. He had you pinned under the blankets as his hands and knees were on either side of you. His hands were then all over your middle trying to hold you still. You managed to roll mostly onto your stomach and he stopped suddenly.

You attempted to look over your shoulder at him above you, panting, "What?"

"Hmmm...", he lowered himself, supporting his weight on one elbow, pushed the blankets down as he reached under them and grabbed one of your ass cheeks, giving it a squeeze. He then gripped your hip, leaning over you. You granted him access to kiss your neck now as he pushed himself against your backside and you hummed. You could feel that he was excited. He spoke softly in your ear, "This way next."

You sighed in anticipation.

He got off you, stood and offered you a hand.

You scoffed in disappointment, "Not now?"

He laughed as he helped you up, "Easy, baby doll. Breakfast is getting cold. Later." He picked you up over his shoulder and you squeaked in surprise. He headed for the stairs, "Don't want you getting spoiled." He smacked your ass and it stung a little, inciting a screech from you, then he started up the stairs.

"Damn you, Stan!"

He laughed and you were glad you hand't changed your underwear yet because that whole tease made a mess of them again.

He set you down next to the table, kissed your head and pulled out your chair and tucked it in as you thanked him and sat. He went to the stove to dish up plates as you turned in your chair to face him, "I was thinking of calling Chris today, see how he's doing and if he's coming home soon."

He glanced at you and nodded a couple times as you spoke.

"I know you've talked to him a couple times, but I really haven't since the day he left. It feels so weird without him here."

Sebastian brought over the plates with veggie omelets and bacon, "Yeah, it does. I think that's a good idea, baby." He kissed your head and headed back to the counter and returned with coffees. " I haven't been able to convince him to come home, maybe you can. And I mean, like, this is _his_ house,", he chuckled, "he should live in it."

Once breakfast was done, you both did dishes and Sebastian went downstairs for a shower while you sat at the table with another cup of coffee and after a few minutes, you called Chris.

It rang three times and you were afraid he wasn't going to pick up, then he answered, "Hey, hon, how are you?"

You were smiling so big, "Hi, Chris! I'm good. How are you? I miss you. When are you coming home?" You didn't mean to just blab it all out, but you were just excited to talk to him... One on one.

He chuckled, "Well, no small talk for you, huh?"

You chortled, "Sorry. I just- We'd love to have you home... Sooner rather than later. And this is your house, you should be in it."

He sighed, "Yeah. I'm doing okay. I miss you too. And I was thinking about coming home today."

You nearly shouted, "Yay! Do it! I miss your hugs. Seb misses you too; his best friend. He told me the other day that he missed having beers on the porch with you after dinner, talking about your dumb sports."

He laughed. Your enthusiasm was really making him want to get home. He missed just being around your cute personality... Your infectious joy. He needed that in his life, even if that's all he could have. He missed his best buddy too. Sharon was great, but she was no bro. He'd been hanging out with Sam too, but he just wasn't Seb. He missed all the back yard fires with beers and all of his friends chattering away and laughing in the darkness and orange light...

It wasn't going to get any better than that and he was really starting to understand that he just needed to find joy in what he had, even if it meant not having you. He didn't want to be miserable anymore. He wanted to be happy, with all his friends surrounding him... Not separated into compartments and quarantined into different areas of his life. Tears were welling up in his eyes at his internal revelation; mourning the past, what could've been the future and finally embracing what would make him happy again, right now.

"Chris?", your voice echoed across the line.

"Yeah. I'm here. I'm gonna come home today; I miss you guys like crazy."

"Yeaaaaahhhh!", You screamed and it made him laugh again, "Sebby! He's coming home!"

He heard Sebastian laugh in the background before he came on the line, a smile apparent in his voice, "I'll see you soon, man. I'll have a case of beers waiting for you-- Been too long."

Chris nodded to himself, "Indeed."

They said their good-byes and Chris put his phone down, smiling. His face was suddenly serious; he had to talk to Sharon. He was pretty sure she would be supportive because she had been so great this time around, but he was always afraid of a replay of the last time they parted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one made me cry too. Short, but felt right to end the chapter here... And I think we all needed this.
> 
> Let me know what you think!
> 
> Thanks for the comments and kudos!
> 
> xoxo


	29. Homecoming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Refresher:
> 
> They said their good-byes and Chris put his phone down, smiling. His face was suddenly serious; he had to talk to Sharon. He was pretty sure she would be supportive because she had been so great this time around, but he was always afraid of a replay of the last time they parted.

You smiled at Sebastian as he set your phone down on the table, also smiling and then took you in his arms and rested his chin on your head as you nuzzled his chest. You sighed. Neither of you said anything for a while. You both felt relieved and really excited.

You had fallen for Sebastian pretty hard and wanted nothing more than to be with him; your heart belonged to him now. But you hadn't been able to let go of what it had done to Chris and the friendship between you all. You weren't naive and knew it would never be exactly the same... You would never feel exactly the same again, everything evolves and changes. But at least you both could have him back and grow new friendships.

You looked up at Sebastian, "You remember when you said no matter what happened you would never regret being with me?"

The corner of his mouth lifted slightly, "Yeah."

"I feel the same about you. My heart belongs to you, Seb... I think it did before I even knew it."

His mouth curved upwards more, he looked at you so affectionately, blinking slowly.

"I love you.", you grinned and kissed him and returned your head to his chest.

He took a deep breath, kissed your head as he stroked your hair and then rested his cheek on your head. He spoke softly, "I love you, too, baby."

How did he get so lucky? To end up with the one person he had felt like he's known over many lifetimes? Waiting to be with you had felt like lifetimes as well. He could never explain why the feeling of knowing you forever was stronger than anything he'd ever felt.

You were the most adorable, sexy, beautiful, caring, generous, loving, sweet, supportive, compassionate being that he's ever known. You were wise when it came to people and relationships. You always seemed to know what to say to make him feel better. And you made him feel amazing in bed, like he was the only man on earth, which had only been once, so he was really looking forward to more of that. Plus, you felt fucking incredible.

He pulled back and looked at you, tilting his head and biting his lip, "Wanna pick up where we left off before breakfast? We've got some time." He raised his eyebrows waiting for your answer. "Who knows how long it'll be until you can be noisy again with me in this house...", he added in an attempt to sway you.

You licked your lips in thought, "Well, I was looking forward to getting it from behind. It's kinda my favorite."

His brows pulled together as he hummed, "Really?"

You bit your lip and nodded, "Mm-hmmmm..."

"Damn, you just keep getting better.", he kissed you hard and you started walking backward toward your room with him following your lead. Once you were both in the room, still kissing, he kicked the door closed behind him.

He turned you around and bent you over near the edge of the bed, leaning over you and assaulting the back of your neck with his mouth, groping your ass.

"Wait.", you panted.

He paused, "What?"

You pushed back against him to stand upright. You turned to face him again and cocked and eyebrow, "I owe you."

He narrowed his eyes, "Owe me what?"

"A mouth.", you answered simply and he bit his lip and his chest rose and fell with a deep breath as you started pulling down the track pants he had put on after his shower, he wasn't wearing underwear yet.

You knelt down, took his hardness in your hand, stroking him softly and he sighed. He looked down at you, licking his lips, his face tense with anticipation. He rubbed a thumb over your bottom lip and you quickly sucked it into your mouth and he hissed, "God dammit." You released his thumb and your mouth met him, taking in just the head, swirling your tongue around it slowly. His hand went gently to the back of your head and he grunted, "Jesus." Then you took him in down to your hand gripping the base and he threw his head back, groaning. You moved forward and back a few times, letting your saliva build up just enough to make each movement more fluid and slick. You stopped suddenly and pulled off him. He half scoffed and half grunted at the loss of that incredible mouth.

He looked at you as you stood, his brows furrowed. He wanted more; that was just a tease.

You assured him, giving him a gentle pinch on the chin, "Just hang on, honey." You got onto the bed and layed on your back, your head hanging off the edge. You looked up at him confidently, "Fuck my mouth..."

He cocked an eyebrow.

"...and my throat."

His jaw dropped and his eyebrows shot up. He was turned on, but also shocked, "Wh-", he paused. "Are you sure?"

You scoffed out a small laugh, "Just trust me, okay?"

He sighed and bent down, lifting your head slightly in his hands and kissed your lips, "Tap me if it's too much, okay?"

"Promise. Now relax, come on."

He bent over you, planted a hand on the bed and his other holding his hard length, he touched your lips with the head, hesitating. He bit his lip as he felt your hands pushing on the back of his thighs, urging him to move forward.

He followed your silent signal, inching farther and farther in as he groaned, now supporting himself with both hands on the bed. He was surprised when he felt your lips make contact with his body, but he hadn't bottomed out at the back of your throat. "Ah.", he gasped out at realizing you could take him all. You had your head back so far that he had a straight shot _into_ your throat a bit. _'Holy shit, she's not gagging.'_ Then you hummed all around him. He grunted, "Oh, fuck." He started sliding in and out against your silky tongue. He went slowly, not wanting to hurt you or make you uncomfortable. Each time he felt your lips against his body, he felt closer to losing it.

He growled deeply and pulled away from you, "On your knees, Miss.", he commanded and you obeyed, removing your shirt and underwear as he pushed down his pants and stepped out of them. He stroked himself in his hand, watching you. You positioned yourself on all fours on the bed.

He crawled on the bed behind you. He only swiped a finger up your center once to make sure you were ready for him and you were so ready.

He wasted no time entering you and his pace was fast right from the beginning. You were mewling instantly at his ramming into you. He leaned over you, his hands on the bed and his front pressed against your back as he spoke low in your ear, "You're fucking amazing, baby."

You whimpered at his words as he began rubbing your clit with three fingertips. He rested his forehead between your shoulder blades, strands of his hair tickling you. He kissed you there several times as he grunted against your skin.

You came hard and fast, crying out and he was right behind you, his voice coming out in a pleasured groan, "Uhn, baby."

He jerked slightly against you a couple times before he relaxed, still supporting himself. He kissed across your shoulder blades and upper back tenderly while panting, "I didn't believe it was possible, but I think I love you even more now." You both laughed and he continued, "You just keep surprising me. Just when I think you can't get any better, you do. I'm dumbfounded.", he chuckled and kissed the side of your head. He got up to get something to clean you both up.

You got in the shower while Sebastian cleaned himself up, put on some clothes and ran to the store for the beer he promised Chris. You got dressed and went out on the back yard deck and sat in one of the chairs, soaking up the warmth of the late morning sun.

Your phone buzzed on the chair arm next to you. It was a group text from Chris to you and Seb, _'On my way. Are you guys decent?'_

You typed back, _'Oh, geez. Just get home.'_

Sebastian must've been busy checking out at the store because it took him a couple minutes to reply with, _'Lol, I'll be there in a few.'_

Seb beat Chris there. You were sitting on the front porch steps waiting. He grabbed a case of beer out of his back seat and a grocery bag.

You stood upon seeing the bag and went to him to help as he shut the car door. When you reached each other, you beamed at him, "Hi, baby." You gave him a kiss.

"Hey, doll.", he smiled back as you tried to grab the bag and he moved it out of your reach. "Staaahhp, I got it.", he smiled and scrunched his nose at you. You both walked toward the house.

"What is it?", you asked.

"Just some stuff we were out of."

As you both reached the top of the steps, he said, "I'll be right back, honey."

"'Kay."

He went into the house.

You sat on the porch steps again to wait for Chris and after a few moments, Sebastian returned with two beers. He sat next to you, opened a beer and handed it to you.

"Thank you.", you smiled softly and took a sip while wrapping your hand around his bent knee.

He opened his own and kissed your temple, "Welcome, baby."

There was a couple moments of silence before Chris's car pulled up and into the driveway. You set your beer down near the wall of the step and kissed Sebastian's cheek enthusiastically, before you took off for Chris's car as he turned off the engine and got out. Sebastian set his beer down and followed after you.

You were running when you reached him and threw your arms around his neck, throwing him off balance a little, "Chris!"

He laughed and put his arms around you to return your hug, "Hey, hon."

You pulled back and swiped a flat hand down his chest, grinning, "Welcome home."

He smiled down at you, "Thank you."

You stepped out of the way so your boyfriend could share a hug with his best friend.

"Let's get you a beer.", Sebastian started for the house.

"Gimme just a second, I gotta get my bag.", Chris called after him, then grabbing his bag out of the front seat.

You and Seb grabbed your beers off the porch and waited for Chris, then you all headed inside.

Chris was already feeling a little tug inside him that wanted to just gather you in his arms and keep you there, but then he saw Seb wrap an arm around your waist and give you a kiss on the head ahead of him as you all went to the kitchen. You were off limits, but somehow still made him feel wanted... And that was good enough for him. He smiled, _'They're happy; I'm happy.'_

Once you all reached the kitchen, Chris put his bag in his room and came back out as Sebastian handed him a beer over the island.

"Thanks, bro."

Sebastian just pulled up one side of his mouth in a half smile and nodded.

You went to Chris and wrapped your arms around his middle, hugging him tight, closing your eyes, your head tilted down slightly, your cheek against his chest. God, you missed him so much.

Chris awkwardly held his arms up and looked at Sebastian with a concerned look; he didn't know how to react.

Sebastian was completely secure and sure of your love for himself, so he pulled his brows together and nodded at him reassuringly as if to say 'go on'. Sebastian knew how much you needed this right now; you missed your friend.

Chris set down his beer and wrapped his arms around you completely, securely. He kissed your head and rested his cheek there. He looked to Sebastian again to make sure he wasn't going to far. Sebastian was smiling and he stepped closer to the two of you, putting a hand on Chris's back and the other on yours. Chris lifted his head and Sebastian kissed yours, "I'll give you two a minute." He picked up his beer and went out front again.

Chris put his cheek back on your head and sighed heavily. He thought he would never get to hold you again... Sometimes life gives you back what you thought you would never have again, even if only for a moment. He was biting his lip trying to fight back the tears that were welling up in his eyes.

He didn't expect you to speak, your voice was low and almost scolding, "Don't you ever leave us like that again. Not the way you did."

He nodded slightly against your head, "I won't. I promise, sweetheart."

You both stayed there for several minutes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops, I wrote more smut. Didn't mean for that to happen so soon. Haha! Apparently Seb and reader are descendants of rabbits... Or just in a new relationship, lol.
> 
> Also, reader is a dirty girl. Wow. But, I felt the need to make her blow Seb's mind. Like he didn't worship her enough already, lol.
> 
> Chris made me fucking cry again too.
> 
> Sometimes I really surprise myself when I write and this chapter was one big surprise, lol.
> 
> Let me know what you think!
> 
> Thanks for the comment and kudos!
> 
> xoxo


	30. Trippin'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There may be typos and mistakes, just wanted to get this posted. I'll fix anything tomorrow.
> 
> REFRESHER:
> 
> He didn't expect you to speak, your voice was low and almost scolding, "Don't you ever leave us like that again. Not the way you did."
> 
> He nodded slightly against your head, "I won't. I promise, sweetheart."
> 
> You both stayed there for several minutes.

You let go of Chris, took a step back and rested your hands on his shoulders, looking up at him. He couldn't tell what you were thinking, so he asked, "What?"

Your face was still blank, "Catch."

"What?"

You were already jumping as high as you could manage and he instinctively bent his knees, caught you under your thighs and lifted you higher as your legs went around his waist and your arms around his neck. You latched on for dear life and then his arms went around your back; he felt he shouldn't be touching your thighs.

He was severely caught off guard, "(Y/N)--"

You whispered, "Shhh, it's okay. Just for a second, okay?"

His face was pained as he pressed you tight against him, closed his eyes and buried his face in your hair and neck. He took in a deep breath of your scent. He felt so torn. God, this felt so wrong for so many reasons, but he couldn't stop; you felt so right... With him... Like this. He whispered, "God, I fuckin' missed you."

You whispered back, "I missed you too. I'm so sorry I hurt you."

"I know, sweetheart."

He set you down gently; it was getting too intense and wasn't helping him accept his fate. He sighed looking at you.

You looked a little apologetic, "I'm sorry. That was too much. I just needed to monkey on you for a minute. Get in a really good one, ya know?"

He smiled softly, "Yeah. I get it. I needed it too." He handed you your beer, took his and hitched his head toward the front door, "Let's go join Seb... You know, your boyfriend. You remember that guy?"

"Okay.", you laughed and he followed as you lead.

You all had a mid-week hang out with everyone over. That couldn't wait for the weekend; everyone missed those times.

About halfway through the night, most of you were around the fire, Tony shouted, "HEY! ANNOUNCEMENT!"

"Pepper's pregnant?!", Thor asked enthusiastically.

Tony just scoffed, "Hey, where's Bartons and Chris and that girl?"

"Jesus, Tony,", Sebastian spoke up, sitting in a chair with you sideways on his lap, playing with his hair, "Don't be a dick. Her name is Sharon. And they're all in the house." He took a sip of his beer.

"My dear, Seb, I don't _be_ a dick, I _am_ a dick.", he returned.

"Deal with that.", Sam interjected on Tony's behalf.

There were chuckles all around.

Sebastian chortled, "Seriously though, dude. She has a name."

Tony scoffed in reluctant defeat, "Fine." He put his hands up like a megaphone and shouted towards the house, "Bartons! Chris!...", he narrowed his eyes and glanced at Pepper and just about everyone outside spoke up in unison, you and Seb included, "Sharon!"

"Thanks everyone. You keep calling her like that for me and I never have to remember her name."

God, he really was a dick, but he was also a really good guy when he needed to be. You smirked.

The four who were summoned all came filing out, Chris looked confused, "Why are you all shouting Sharon's name?"

You had just taken a sip of your beer and gestured towards Tony with your bottle, nonchalant, "Tony's bein' a dick."

Sebastian pulled his arm around your waist tighter, hiding his face against your shoulder in an attempt to stifle an outward snort of a laugh and he was failing miserably.

It made you burst into a smile, which you quickly tried to wipe off your face. You pressed your hand still holding your beer to your mouth, covering a loud giggle as you looked between Seb, Chris and Tony.

Chris nodded, pulling the corners of his mouth downward, "Sounds about right."

Sebastian pulled his head back up, his laugh slowing while he spoke quietly, "Ahhhhh, that was amazing." He looked at you and pulled you to him by the back of your neck to kiss you as you smiled. You loved making him laugh.

"Hey!", Tony nearly yelled, "Everyone needs to stop calling me a dick or I'm not making this announcement and trust me, you're gonna wanna hear it." He lifted his beer and started, "In four weeks I am hosting an all expenses paid trip for seven days to Yellowstone National Park for everyone here."

Everyone's faces expressed surprise and excitement as he continued.

"I'll be chartering two private, double decker luxury buses for the 7 hour drive. We'll be staying in the historic and beautiful Lake Yellowstone Hotel, right on the lake front. So, leave the kids with Grandma and Grandpa,", he pointed and Clint and Laura. "Everyone who works for me-", Pepper cleared her throat loudly and Tony continued without even looking at her, "Or Pepper,"

Pepper winked at you and you grinned at her.

Tony went on, "you will be getting the time off, paid, of course. If anyone who doesn't work for me can't get the time off, quit your job and I'll find a place for you to work for us."

Everyone laughed and Tony started again, "I'm not kidding. I will hire you, even if it's to scrub tile grout in the restrooms... There are 8 on every floor, you'd stay busy and I pay well. I want ALL our friends there."

There's the good guy you were referring to.

Once it was time for the trip four weeks later, everyone was able to go and drove to Tony and Pepper's that morning. Tony had everyone park in his huge garage. The buses were there, fully stocked and completely luxurious, of course. The drivers loaded everyone's luggage into the compartments in the bellies of the buses.

The lead bus had Tony, Pepper, you, Seb, Chris, Sharon and Sam. The second bus carried Nat, Bruce, Thor, Jane, The Bartons and Maria. The buses had a wireless intercom system so the passengers of both buses could talk to each other quickly. The drivers had radios to talk to each other about the travel details and stops.

As the buses left, you poked around in the fridge for something since you had only had a hard boiled egg for breakfast. You gasped, "There's sushi!"

"You can thank Pepper for that one. She was looking out for you there.", Tony called out behind him as he jogged up the stairs to where there were beds and closets.

You sat by Pepper at the circular booth style table to one side of the bus, "Thanks, Pep.", you smiled, opening the container and putting a piece of the roll into your mouth.

She grinned back, "Anything for my best assistant."

Sebastian returned from the back of the bus where he had been checking everything out with Chris, Sam and Sharon.

He sat on your other side, gave you a quick kiss on the cheek, grabbed a piece and popped it into his own mouth as Pepper spoke, "And her boyfriend, apparently.", she chuckled as Sebastian, gave her a big, closed mouth smile and squeezed his eyes shut.

"I'm your only assistant.", you looked to Pepper, laughing at Seb's goofy expression.

"Well, that means your the best then, because with you, I don't need more than one assistant. I've had to have two before; not everyone can handle it on their own.", she gave you a proud smile.

"Wow.", you said with your hand in front of your full mouth, then swallowed, "Thank you. Is there soy sauce?"

Pepper laughed, "There's packets in the drawer by the fridge."

"Got it.", Sebastian stood to get it for you as he took another piece.

"Honey, there's more in the fridge. Please quit eating mine."

"Well, then I'll get another container when this one is gone.", he handed you the packets and sat next to you again, putting an arm around your shoulders. "Sharing means I get to sit really close to you."

You thanked him for the soy sauce and you were opening one of the packets when he grabbed another piece, eating it quickly.

"Seb! Seriously!", you wanted to be serious, but you were chuckling, "It's almost gone. There are only so many pieces in a roll. Now go get _me_ another container since you're eating all mine." He removed his arm from you and you shoved the back of his shoulder away from you playfully.

He laughed, kissed your temple as you poured soy sauce in the container lid and he scooted to the edge of the seat, "Yes, dear."

You smacked his ass with the back of your hand as he got up and he let out a whoop and laughed, "Ooh, baby!"

You and Pepper laughed and you shook your head, smiling.

"You two are so cute together.", Pepper grinned at you.

"Aw, thanks. I sure love that dork. He's really good to me,", you spoke louder as you looked at Sebastian who was already coming back, container in hand.  "when he's not eating my food!", you teased.

He laughed and took his place next to you, dragged your container to him and set the new one in front of you, you kissing his cheek as he did, "Thank you, honey."

"Welcome, baby doll.", he smiled at you lovingly, then whispered in your ear, "I love you."

You put your hand on the back of his head as he gave your neck a kiss just under your ear. You stifled a giggle when his stubble tickled you.

Tony came back down with a deck of cards in hand, "Cards anyone?"

Chris came from the TV area in the back, "No, thanks, we're good." He grabbed some waters out of the fridge and headed back. He, Sharon and Sam found a movie to watch.

So Tony, Pepper, Seb and you played cards for about an hour.

Tony was shuffling the deck for another game you hung your head and rubbed your forehead, "I think I'm gonna go lay down."

Sebastian furrowed his brows and dipped his head to get a better look at you, "You okay, baby?"

"Yeah, just tired, getting a headache and my stomach feels a little off. I probably should get a bottle of water too. Probably just a little dehydrated or didn't get enough sleep."

He scooted out of the booth and went to get you a bottle of water from the fridge as Pepper spoke up, "Use whatever bed you want, there's a queen at the back and one at the front, blankets are in the drawers underneath."

"Thanks, Pep.", you started up the stairs, Sebastian following after you with your water.

"Hey,", Tony called out, "No nookie on my bus." He was often teasing you and Sebastian about that, even before you were together. Guess Chris wasn't the only one who had noticed you were a little closer to Seb.

You rolled your eyes and Sebastian scoffed. Pepper elbowed Tony in the side and he grunted.

Once you reached the top of the stairs, you went to the closest bed, which was a twin. You sat and Sebastian stayed standing next to you, opening the water before handing it to you, "You want some pain relievers?", he asked as you took a long drink.

"No, lemme see if the water and rest helps first.", you took another long drink.

You handed him the water and he twisted the lid back on, then dropped it on the bed next to you.

He took a step closer and gently pressed your head against his stomach, holding it there. Your arms wrapped lazily around one of his thighs as he started to rub the base of your skull on either side with a thumb and finger.

Your eyes closed and you let out a long sigh, "God, you're an angel."

He chuckled softly, "Nah, just taking care of my girl."

He massaged your head for a couple more minutes and then you took another drink of water before kicking off your shoes and laying down. He got a blanket from the drawer under the bed, pushed off his own shoes and layed up against your backside. He pulled the blanket over you both and wrapped his arms around you.

You woke up to Sebastian's quiet voice, "Doll?"

"Hm?", you voice was rough and your brain felt foggy. You rolled onto your back partway, coming to rest against his chest, opened your eyes and saw him leaning over you.

He spoke soft and sweet, "Hey, gorgeous." He gave you several soft, quick kisses on your cheek without his lips leaving it.

You put your hand on the back of his head and smiled sleepily, "Hi, handsome."

"We're stopped to get lunch. How you feeling? You wanna get up?"

"Yeah. Did you sleep?"

"Nope. Just stayed here to watch over you."

"Yep, you're an angel; my guardian angel.", you smiled and kissed him.

Everyone ate lunch at a restaurant while the bus drivers got gas and then joined you all to eat. Nice couple of guys.

You all were on the road again in an hour. You were feeling better, but still a bit tired.

You cuddled up with Sebastian and you each read your own book on one of the couches in the TV room in the back for a little bit, then you joined the others up front. They were listening to music, chatting and having beers. Sam, Tony and Pepper were on the couch across from the table where Chris and Sharon sat along with you and Sebastian.  He had his arm around you, your hand on his thigh and your tilted head resting in the crook of this neck.

Sam was handing our another round of beers to everyone and when he held one out for you, you declined with a smile, "No, thank you."

Sebastian looked down at you, but Chris spoke before he could say anything.

"You okay, (Y/N)? What's goin' on?", he looked a little concerned and you seemed a bit off.

You answered casually, "I'm just still tired and I think a beer would actually put me to sleep." You chuckled.

Sebastian put his cheek on your forehead, "You wanna go lay back down, doll?"

"No, I'm fine.", you smiled up at him.

He kissed you, "Okay. I'll grab you another water." He got up to get it as you thanked him.

The rest of the trip was pretty uneventful; everyone just visiting, hanging out, playing a few games. Sam took a nap at one point and Sebastian sat at the other end of one of the front couches and gave you a foot rub while you both watched out the window.  All the passing fields with cows and horses soon turned into forest trees and mountain walls.

Tony turned on the intercom to the other bus and exclaimed at the change of scenery, "Almost there!" Tony stood right behind the cab, facing toward the back of the bus. "How long we got, Teddy?", he turned asking the driver behind him.

Teddy spoke up, "Almost an hour, Sir."

"It's Tony. I told you. Thanks, Teddy."

"Sorry, Sir.", Teddy apologized.

Tony scoffed and addressed the group, "Old military habits die hard." He threw his fists in the air, "Less than an hour until we're in!"

You all laughed and humored the exuberant Tony by clapping. Everyone was looking forward to this vacation, but Tony was beyond stoked to be treating all his favorite people to this national treasure and being with them for a whole week.

When the lead bus pulled up to the park enterance toll booths, Teddy parked the bus and got in the passenger seat as Tony took the driver seat, "Afternoon!", he beamed at the attendant as he took out his credit card. "I got this bus and the one behind us."

"Yes'sir.", the attendant took his card. Once the payment was made, the attendant gave him all the passes and information about staying in the park, including safety concerning the wildlife. Tony thanked him and Teddy took his seat and the buses continued on.

Tony asked Teddy how long until the hotel and Teddy glanced at the GPS and then said about another hour.

"Okay!", Tony announced to the rest of you and the other bus over the intercom again, "About another hour until the hotel."

Chris's eyebrows shot up, "Wow. Really?"

"Yep. But I basically rented homes on wheels for the comfort of my friends, so it's not so bad, huh?", Tony smiled. "But keep your eyes peeled for wildlife. There's bison, elk, wolves, bears..."

"Oh my.", you said softly. It was ridiculous, but you couldn't help it. Everyone chuckled anyway.

Not even half of you had been to Yellowstone before. Only a few had; Tony, Pepper, the Bartons, Sharon and Bruce.

No one spotted anything the whole time.  Once turning onto the road that led to the hotel, the buses stopped in a traffic jam on the long, narrow, two lane road. It took the drivers nearly ten minutes to move less than a mile... Then everyone saw what caused it.

There were two huge bison that had crossed the road and were now on the other side of the street in the grass near the tree line. They were less than 5 feet from the road. Everyone driving ahead of the buses and on the other side were crawling like sloths to look and take pictures. You gasped and your face lit up as you knelt on the couch and sat on your feet to face the window head on. Everyone was finding a window on that side to look out of.

Sebastian was right next to you, sitting sideways, his knee resting on the cushion toward the back of the couch. He got up just enough the slide the window open so you both could see without glare. He lowered himself back down and rubbed your back gently while he watched them.

Everyone was 'oohing' and 'ahhing' and then Sam nearly shouted from the second level, "Holy shit! They're huge!"

Everyone laughed... But not you. You let out what sounded like a tiny distressed squeak and Sebastian's head snapped to look at you and you had your hands over your mouth and nose and there were tears in your eyes. He got worried, "What's wrong?" He put an arm over your shoulder and dipped his head down to look into your face.

Pepper was on your other side and put a hand gently on your back just lower than Sebastian's arm, her face concerned, "Are you okay?"

Everyone started to look at you when they heard Sebastian's question.

You hiccuped and answered with a soft whine, your hands clasped together against your mouth as the tears started to fall from your eyes which were still glued to the animals, "They're so beautiful." It also made you ridiculously happy to see them in the wild... Where they belong.

Sebastian gathered you in his arms, "Aww, baby." He kissed your temple as you continued the watch the bison as the bus passed.

Chris had been watching and then spoke up, concerned, since he couldn't tell what you were saying so quietly from the window he was at, "What's going on?"

Sebastian turned his head to Chris, "She's just excited."

Chris smiled, relieved. _'God, could she get anymore precious?'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!
> 
> Thanks for comments and kudos; they keep me going!
> 
> xoxo


	31. First Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Refresher:
> 
> Chris had been watching and then spoke up, concerned, since he couldn't tell what you were saying so quietly from the window he was at, "What's going on?"
> 
> Sebastian turned his head to Chris, "She's just excited."
> 
> Chris smiled, relieved. 'God, could she get anymore precious?'

You all got checked in at the hotel in the late afternoon. It was one long, beautiful historical structure. The West end contained a huge dining area that transistioned toward the center of the building into the bar, gift shop, common area and check in counters. There was also a very large room in the South side of everything else with endless, ceiling high windows called the sunroom. Above on the second floor and about the other two thirds of the hotel to the East were the rooms and a deli cafe.

Each couple got their own room with a king size bed. Sam and Maria had agreed to share a room with 2 queen beds ahead of time when Tony booked it all.

All the bellhops on duty when Tony checked in were busy. He looked at the two carts full of luggage from the bus and then to about 10 feet away where everyone was standing around or sitting on couches and chairs, talking about how amazing the hotel was. He called out, "Men, volunteers to push luggage?"

Chris, Thor, Sebastian and Sam all stood, and headed over. The other guys just hadn't heard him.

Tony turned back to the girl at the counter, "Yeah, I think we're fine, sweetheart. Thank you."

Everyone got to their rooms and luggage was distributed. It was about 30 minutes until dinner in the dining room.

When you and Sebastian got to your room, you layed on the bed, facing away from the edge you were laying near. He climbed over you and settled on and elbow, facing you. "How ya feelin', doll?", he asked as he swept his fingers along your hairline, clearing strands of hair away from your face.

"Pretty good, actually.", you smiled up at him.

He leaned down to kiss your neck and spoke softly, "Good enough to make the neighbors wonder what the hell we're doing so noisily in the middle of the day?" He gave your ass a good squeeze. 

You hummed, "I don't think they would be wondering."

He kissed closer to your collarbone and then pulled your leg up over his waist, "Well, maybe we could just make them uncomfortable." His drug his lips lightly up to your neck again, "Really uncomfortable." He bit you gently there.

Your breath caught and you let out a cute little groan and then there was a knock on the door.

He pulled his head back and sighed heavily. He narrowed his eyes and pressed his lips together disapprovingly. He then growled and nipped at your neck playfully and you squeaked. He jumped over you to get the door. He turned his upper body and pointed at you as he walked, "To be continued."

You smiled at him lovingly.

He answered the door to find Chris and Sharon, "Hey, guys. What's up?" He stepped aside to let them in. You sat up and greeted them as they walked in.

Chris was closer to the door than Sharon when he knocked and he had heard Sebastian's growl, your squeak and Sebastian's 'to be continued' on the other side... And now you were sitting up from the bed. He tried to shove down the discomfort he was feeling inside, "Just wanted to see how (Y/N)'s doing." He smiled at you.

"Still a little tired, but good. I might just go to bed a little early tonight. Only a little though, I don't wanna miss anything too good.", you chuckled.

Chris just nodded.

Sharon smiled, "We were gonna go down to the sunroom for drinks before dinner if you guys wanna join us."

Sebastian looked at his watch, hitched his mouth to one side and blew out a breath, "I'm game." He looked at you.

You nodded, "Yeah, we can join you."

You scooted off the bed as Sebastian made sure he had the room key card in his wallet, then offered you his hand and you all filed out the door.

You and Sebastian followed behind Chris and Sharon in the long, wide hallway. He had his arm draped around her neck and they were talking and laughing. He leaned to her and kissed her temple. It made you smile. You really hoped she could make him happy. Your relationship with Sebastian had quieted your need to have contact with Chris, but it didn't elmininate it completely. A very small part of you still longed to be the girl Chris had his arm around... Like you used to be.

Your train of thought changed and you leaned into Sebastian, walking on your toes as you pulled on his arm, still holding his hand, to talk softly in his ear. He leaned his head down at your queue and you spoke, "I thought you wanted to continue."

He smiled and spoke into your ear quietly, "You deserve to be spoiled after not feeling well earlier; less than 20 minutes isn't enough... And if you go to bed early tonight... I'll make sure you don't care about missing anything else." He kissed your hand gently and winked at you. He then spoke at a normal volume, "Love you, baby."

You scrunched your nose, "Love you."

You had a glass of wine and cuddled up to Sebastian while you both talked to Chris and Sharon sitting within one of the many groups of couches and chairs. The couch you both chose was facing the direct light of the setting sun coming through the large window. The leather was wonderfully warm when you sat and the heat of the sun so soothing.

The entire group slowly gathered where the four of you were sitting; chatting it up and laughing. A few other people in the sunroom looked annoyed at the volume and conversation content the group emitted, but none of you really noticed... Or cared. The worst of the bunch, as usual, was Tony, Thor, Sam and Chris.

Chris's laugh was such a joyful and contgious noise; your loved it so much. You couldn't help but laugh whenever he did.

Sharon excused herself to the restroom and shortly after, Sebastian went to the bar to get himself another drink. You got up and sat by Chris, "Heyyy, you.", you leaned toward him and bumped against his arm. "How's it going?"

He smiled at you and nodded, "Pretty good. I'm excited to be here for a week."

You smiled softly, "How's things with Sharon? She treating my boy good?"

He laughed and cocked an eyebrow, "Your boy? I thought Seb was your boy."

Your face was serious, "He's my boyfriend. You're both my boys; always will be."

His eyes locked with yours for only a couple seconds while he clenched his jaw. He couldn't believe how badly he wanted to kiss you knowing how much he still meant to you... despite you being his best friend's girl, despite having a girlfrined himself, despite being in a room full of people, despite said boyfriend and girlfriend being within such close range. He pushed the thought down, smiled and looked away, giving you a quick one armed hug and spoke.

"Things are good. And yeah, she's treating me good. She was actually the one who helped me work through most of my crap when you and Seb got together. She finally understands how important you guys are to me. I'm really lucky." He looked at you smiling softly.

You were mirroring his expression, "Good."

Sharon returned and sat on Chris's lap and gave him a quick kiss as he wrapped his arms around her. You guessed that she felt she needed to assert her possession of him since you were sitting next to him. It didn't bother you though; whatever makes her feel better. You and Sharon had gotten to know each other, like and respect each other, but that would never erase the history you and Chris had. So, Sharon's jealousy reared it's head a little from time to time.

Sebastian returned with his beer, "Ooh, we're sitting on laps! Great!"

He turned, set his beer on the large square coffee table and lowered to sit on you. You protested a bit loudly while laughing, "Noooo!", placing your hands just above his butt in an attempt to halt him. He weighed nearly 200 pounds with all the muscle on his frame.

Sharon and Chris were laughing as well.

Sebastian's butt had only barely touched your lap before he straightened and faced you again, "Oh. Right. I'm the seat." He smiled and offered you a hand. He pulled you up, then sat and guided you down to his lap. He gave you one of his cute scrunched nose smiles that always melted your heart.

You gave him a soft, unhurried peck on the lips, then whispered in his ear, "I'll remember that."

He cocked an eyebrow.

You laughed, "Yes, exactly."

He chuckled and Clint sat in the chair next to where you both were seated and started talking to Sebastian.

You leaned forward, grabbing his beer off the table, his hands still at your hips. His attention flicked to your hand for a second when you offered him the beer, "Oh, thank you, baby.", he said quietly, taking it, then went back to talking with Clint while he gave your hip a squeeze.

Dinner was amazingly good. It was like an upscale restaurant with no dress code; white table cloths, candles in little glass orbs, expensive cuisine with upstanding and very professional servers.

The group hung out in the sunroom after dinner. After another glass of wine and about an hour later, you were getting a little drowsy. You said goodnight to everyone. Sebastian did the same and you both went to your room.

You stepped into the elevator with Sebastian close behind you and you leaned your back against the wall and put your hands on the railing on either side of you. Sebastian stood in front of you and shoved his hands in his pockets, tilting his head at you. You blinked, but your eyes wanted to stay closed, so you pulled your eyebrows up, willing them to open. They reluctantly did.

Sebastian dipped his head down, giving you a concerned look and put his hands on your waist, "I know we talked about continuing earlier, but do you just wanna go to sleep, baby?" The elevator doors opened and he took your hand to lead you out.

You shook your head, "No. I'm sure you'll wake me up.", you chuckled softly, "And then I'll sleep like a rock."

He chuckled as well and scooped you up to carry you, "It can wait if you need sleep. Really."

Your arms went around his neck and you whispered in his ear, "I need _you_ , lover." You laid your head against his shoulder.

He hummed mischievously, "Need, huh? It's always been want before. Well, it _is_ my obligation to give you what you need."

You did always say want before. It occurred to you that your attachment has gotten deeper with him; stronger.

He set you down gently so that he could take out his wallet, slide the card key out of it and then open the door. He guided you in with a hand on your lower back.

He turned on the bedside lamp, put his phone and wallet on the nightstand and sat on the high set bed. You stepped in front of him and he wrapped his arms around you, resting his head against your chest. Your heartbeat relaxed him as he closed his eyes and your arms went around his shoulders, your cheek settled on top of his head. You started lightly tickling his back with your fingernails. He shivered and let out a vocal sigh, "Mm. My body can't decide if that makes me want to sleep or pounce on you."

You chuckled, kissed the top of his head and attempted to pull out of his arms, but he made it challenging by keeping his arms around you, though not really trying to keep you there.

You giggled and finally broke free as he slumped forward a bit, his arms dropping dramatically at the loss of you. His hair had fallen around his face, so he lifted his head and pushed it back with both hands. You started shoving your shoes off your with your toes as you stood at the foot of the bed and when you glanced at him, he was frowning. You smiled and he smiled back, then shifted to sit against the headboard, his feet hanging off the side of the bed.

"I'm gonna take a shower,", you started, pulling off your socks, "You wanna come?"

He cocked his head to one side his eyebrows lifting slightly, "Context please, doll?"

"Yes,", you smiled while peeling off your shirt, leaving your lavender colored cotton bra. "both."

"Hmmm," he narrowed his eyes and pulled the corners of his mouth downward as you started to undo your jeans. "Let me think about that..."

You turned with your back to him and pushed your jeans down over your matching panties as you looked over your shoulder at him. He cocked an eyebrow and once the waistband had cleared the bottom of your ass, you bent forward... All the way forward, folding yourself nearly in half as you pushed them down to your ankles.

His eyes widened in surprise at your display, "Um, fuck yes!", he said quickly, nearly jumping off the bed as you straightened. When he reached you, he pressed his hard length against your backside and reached around your front to grip your breasts firmly in his hands. You hummed as he spoke quietly against your ear, "Exactly how flexible are you, darling?"

You turned to face him, planting a hand on his shoulder, his hands rested lightly on your waist. You bent a knee and brought it up near your side. He watched your actions and brought his hand to where your thigh started near your ass, moving upward toward your knee as you grabbed the bottom of your foot at the arch. You slowly straightened your leg upwards, watching his face. He looked at you again as his touch traveled up the entire length of your unfolding leg to the ankle which fully straightened with your foot higher than your head. He bit his lip as you let go of your foot and let him hold your ankle there. He shifted your leg over slightly and held it against his chest.

"God dammit.", he whispered as he leaned in to kiss your lips soft and slow. With his mouth grazing yours, he whispered again, "Shower. Now."

The two of your were naked and in the shower in record time. You had faced your side to him and pivoted away, bending your upper body downward and rested your leg nearest him on his shoulder. He held onto your leg and hip for dear life as he now pounded into you mercilessly. You steadied yourself by planting your hands on the tub floor, the both of you letting out loud sounds of pleasure under the cascading water.

You began to pull away from him, "Hang on." Your breath was labored.

"What?", he panted, opening his eyes in a passionate daze and slowly let go of you. Whenever you stopped what was going on when the two of you were having sex, it always frustrated him for a beat, but you always made it worth it, so he didn't fight it.

You squatted down in front of him and took his swollen member quickly in your mouth, resting your hands on either side of his thighs. You took him in all the way to the back of your throat.

When he bottomed out against you, he gasped and braced himself with a hand on the shower wall, the other on the back of your head, "Fuck!"

You moved on and off of him quickly, using everything you could; tongue, lips and even lightly grazing him with your teeth at times. You looked up at him and watched the water running down his taught muscles as he moaned. "Your mouth is fucking amazing, doll.", he groaned. He hung his head and opened his burning eyes to meet yours, water running from all his hanging strands of hair. His face was twisted in restraint and he was biting his lower lip hard. He threw his head back for a beat, "Ah, God. Baby, stop.", he growled, moving his hand from your head and putting it on your shoulder, pushing weakly. "I'm gonna come and I still wanna fuck you.", he panted out.

You hummed in disagreement with him still in your hungry mouth, devouring him, "Mm-mm."

"Jesus!", he called out at the vibration around him; he was getting shaky now.

You pulled off just long enough to quickly tell him, "Give it to me." Then you went back to work on him, moaning to bring him even closer to losing it. It only took another moment before he let out a loud groan, with a fistful of your hair in his hand and his hips pushing against you, shooting his release into your waiting mouth. You moved slower now to bring him through it and then swallowed what he'd given you.

You stood and he took you in his arms, you wrapping your own around his back while you both stood under the soothing water.

He was still panting, "I was supposed to spoil you, not the other way around." He kissed your head. "Give me just a minute and I'll take care of you, honey."

You chuckled against his chest, "It's okay. I enjoyed all of it; especially spoiling you. You don't have to do anything more; that one was for you, lover. Let's go to bed.", you got up on your toes and kissed his lips. He returned it lazily, gazing at you lovingly.

"Mm. Yes, ma'am."

He got out of the shower and grabbed you a towel, handing it to you inside the shower, keeping the curtain closed so you wouldn't get cold before you dried off. He dried himself on the bath mat just outside the tub.

"I miss you.", you called through the curtain.

His heart melted a little and he smiled, "I miss you, too, baby."

You both got to bed and cuddled together as he spoke, "How did I get so lucky to have you? You make me feel so important."

"You are so important. You do the same for me.", you replied. "And it's not luck, Seb. You're an amazingly loving, giving and compassionate person. We're together because we're good for each other... And that's the way it should be."

God, he could burst with happiness at your words. He titled your chin up as he kissed your mouth soft and slow, teasing your tongue lightly with his own. He pulled back and lazily rubbed his nose with yours and he whispered, "I love you so much, baby doll. You make me so happy. I really can't even tell you how much."

"I have a pretty good idea; you've been showing me for over a year as my friend... And now you've gone off the charts. You take such good care of me. Thank you, honey. And I love you too... Like, A Lo-hot!"

You both chuckled as he started tickling your shoulder with his fingertips while he kissed your forehead and spoke, "Goodnight, baby."

"Goodnight, my Sebby."

END NOTE: A timeline reference was changed in the previous chapter (30) for the storyline to make more sense. The trip was changed from two weeks out to four. So four weeks from Tony's announcement to the beginning of the trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, look at that; I wrote more smut. Aye, aye, aye. I really wanted to get this chapter up last night, but writing smut is hard when you're really tired. It would've just come out like, "He put his thing in your stuff and more stuff happened." So, yeah, lol.
> 
> Plus, I got caught up in some drama on Seb's Instagram page when I had intended to be writing. Some people were being extremely hateful towards him for canceling a con appearance in order to film a new movie and I had to join the positive support directed at him; strength in numbers and all.
> 
> I know this is kind of a boring chapter and I apologize. I'm trying to get to the next phase of this story, but I'm still stuck in "new love" mode... Sorry, guys. I'm trying to get there. I'll speed it up soon.
> 
> If you are still liking (or loving) this story, please help a girl out and leave a comment; they keep me going!
> 
> Thanks for all your comments and kudos!
> 
> xoxo


	32. Tides

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> You both got to bed and cuddled together as he spoke, "How did I get so lucky to have you? You make me feel so important."
> 
> "You are so important. You do the same for me.", you replied. "And it's not luck, Seb. You're an amazingly loving, giving and compassionate person. We're together because we're good for each other... And that's the way it should be."
> 
> God, he could burst with happiness at your words. He titled your chin up as he kissed your mouth soft and slow, teasing your tongue lightly with his own. He pulled back and lazily rubbed his nose with yours and he whispered, "I love you so much, baby doll. You make me so happy. I really can't even tell you how much."
> 
> "I have a pretty good idea; you've been showing me for over a year as my friend... And now you've gone off the charts. You take such good care of me. Thank you, honey. And I love you too... Like, A Lo-hot!"
> 
> You both chuckled as he started tickling your shoulder with his fingertips while he kissed your forehead and spoke, "Goodnight, baby."
> 
> "Goodnight, my Sebby."

The next morning, Sebastian woke up before you and left you a note on top of your phone on the nightstand, _'Went to grab coffees. Be right back. Love you baby.'_ He scribbled an adorably wonky heart underneath it all.

He came back and kissed you as you still lay in bed waiting for him. You drank your coffee as you got dressed and put yourself together for a day out in the park of seeing the sights and riding the buses from attraction to attraction. You weren't feeling quite as tired after having gone to bed early and getting a good night's sleep.

The two of you met up with everyone else for the breakfast buffet and then the whole group headed out. You went to see all the thermal features, including Old Faithful and the other dozens upon dozens of pools and geysers in that area.

Thor wanted to take a picture of Chris and Sebastian on the path with one of the spewing geysers in the background as everyone took a break from walking along the narrow and winding raised paths. It was a large, raised platform area with benches all huddled in rows to watch the feature there. Sebastian jumped on Chris's back and they were all goofing around too much for your comfort level. You were sitting on a bench, talking to Jane, Sharon and Nat, who whipped their heads in the guys' direction when you clutched at your chest and gasped when Chris stumbled slightly, "Oh my God!"

You shouted out to them, "Hey!" Chris had already set Sebastian down and you continued, "Be careful! You could get seriously burned if you fall off that path!"

They both laughed and Chris shouted back, "Okay, Mom!"

They strolled back over to you and the other girls. Chris sat between you and Sharon and Nat scooted over so Sebastian could sit next to you. He and Chris were still softly chuckling and he spoke as he lowered himself to sit, "Sorry, baby.", he kissed your cheek.

You punched his arm with one hand and then the other right after, "You scared the shit outta me!"

He leaned away slightly, chuckling, but his face surprised, "Ow-how-how!" His hand went to his arm.

The few people in the group around you were all chortling.

Chris laughed at his friend's misfortune, but you whipped around to face him, "You too!", and gave him a punch in the arm as well.

Sharon was a little uncomfortable with the exchange, but did her best to hide it.

"Ah! Hey!", he laughed gripping his arm, "Jesus, Seb, what are you feeding her? Those little fists hurt!"

"That's personal.", Seb was fighting laughter, but still managed to smirk.

Nat cackled in amusement, Chris made a face that was both surprise and amusement, which came out in a whisper while he couldn't help smiling, "Shhhhi-oh my God." He laughed; that was a good joke.

Anyone else that heard Sebastian's comment was now laughing also and you turned to him with your eyes narrow in sarcastic displeasure.

He pulled you to him and kissed your cheek again, "I really am sorry, doll, but that was just too funny."

"I know, thank you.", you laughed. "You're pretty funny yourself."

Chris had calmed down and put a hand on your back, "I'm sorry, (Y/N). Won't happen again.", he smiled.

The next day you all went one of the buses to the top of the steep zig zag trail that lead down to the waterfalls in the canyon. The only areas on it with railings were the switch-back turns to the next level at each end. Everyone started down the trail, when you noticed Chris and Sharon where stopped where the trail began and not following the rest of the group. She looked really nervous and Chris had his hand at her back and was talking quietly to her.

"Honey...", you nodded up at them.

Sebastian turned to look, then swiveled forward again and cupped his hands around his mouth to shout to the others ahead of you, "We'll catch up, guys!"

Thor stopped, turned and gave a thumbs up, then continued.

You and Seb both went back up about 10 feet to them. You smiled at Sharon as you approached, "Hey, what's up?" Her eyes were wide and darting.

Chris looked at you sadly, "She's afraid of heights."

"Oh, okay.", you said sweetly. "Here, let's go sit down for a minute, okay?" You took her hand and she looked at Chris and he nodded reassuringly.

She followed you and you both sat on the low brick wall near the parking lot. Chris crouched in front of her, taking her hand and you put an arm around her. Sebastian stood on the other side of you and rested a hand on your upper back as you started, "You've been to Yellowstone before, is that right?"

She nodded, glancing at you for only a second, before looking at her feet.

"Did you go down any trails like this before?"

She shook her head, "No." She looked at Chris and he smiled softly at her.

"I used to be _terrified_ of heights.", you said. "They still make me a little nervous, but I'm pretty okay about it. So we can do it together."

She looked from Chris to you and said nothing, so you continued, "Okay, so how about this? You can hold my hand and walk behind me, close to the inside of the path. Chris can hold your other hand as he walks between you and the edge, slightly ahead of you and Sebastian will walk slightly behind you, between you and the edge too."

Sebastian nodded in agreement of your proposed plan.

Chris looked at you with a small, closed lipped smile. His heart was swelling over how sweet you were being to his girlfriend. This... This is exactly why he loved you; you cared about everyone.

"I don't know...", she replied quietly.

You could tell she was considering it, but not there yet, so you went on, "You'll have two people holding onto you, three people guarding you, two of which are big, brick shithouses of men-", you nodded your head enthusiastically, your eyes wide.

The guys both huffed out a quiet laugh and she chuckled nervously, "Yeah."

You went on, "and you saw how quickly Sebastian caught me when I fainted, right?" You added more quietly, "Which I don't do anymore, thank God."

Sebastian pressed his lips together remembering that terrible night and rubbed your upper back gently as Sharon looked at him, "Yeah.", she smiled a little and he mirrored her expression, but with confidence, then he nodded.

"My guy's got the fastest reflexes I know of and he'll be at your rear flank, where he would see anything happening first, okay?"

You studied her face; she was almost there...

"So, that's one, two, three,", you lifted fingers on a hand one at a time as you counted, pointing to Chris, Seb and yourself, "Plus, the path is paved; no slippery dirt--", you straightened another finger, "And- Let me see the bottom of your shoes."

She lifted her shoe bottom towards you.

"Plus, bad ass traction on your boots!", you popped your thumb out, holding out all five digits. "That's 5 advantages; you're so set to do this!", you beamed at her.

She started smiling, "Yeah."

You face became serious for a moment, "No one's going to make you do anything you don't want to, but we won't let anything happen to you, Sharon." You paused. "So, you ready to go experience with your friends one of the most beautiful things you've ever seen?"

She nodded at Chris and smiled bigger, "Yes."

 _'She said they're my friends.'_ Something in her clicked and she finally felt like she fit into the group... Well, at least with the three of you and that was a start.

You all started down the path as planned, letting Sharon set the pace. Whenever people were coming back up, you all stopped against the inside of the path and waited; You still holding her hand in front of her, Chris behind Sharon with his hands on her waist and Seb waiting behind Chris. At the switch-backs, everyone had to switch sides, but you never let go of her hand until you had the other and the guys just maneuvered around behind you and Sharon, taking their places again. It took a while longer than it normally would, but you didn't mind. You knew what it was like to be afraid of heights, so you had all the patience in the world... And so did the guys, because, well- it was Chris and Seb. They were the best guys you knew.

Once you all got to the bottom, Chris hugged her up, "You made it! Good job, babe!" She smiled and giggled.

Everyone else greeted the four of you.

You and Sebastian walked to the edge of the chain link fenced concrete platform directly overhanging the top of the waterfall, he stood next to you and snaked an arm around your waist and kissed your head.

You gripped the rail of the fence tightly and felt your stomach turning a little. Yep, still a bit afraid of heights. You called out over the loud noise of the falling water and over your shoulder, "Sharon! Come look at this! It's so beautiful!"

Chris took her hand and led her over, she looked nervous again and when they started getting a few steps away, she stopped. Chris got behind her and latched his fingers together around her middle and said near her ear, "I've got you."

"Look,", you said to her as you reached around to your back and moved Seb's hand so that you could hold it, "I'm a little scared too." You took a tiny step away from Sebastian so that there was a small space between the two of you, "Just come look between us. Chris's got you. You HAVE to see this. You'll regret it if you don't."

Sebastian smiled at you lovingly; you were so sweet that it hurt his teeth. He then hitched his head towards the waterfall to encourage Sharon.

She moved forward, Chris right behind her. She looked over your shoulder between you and Seb. You looked at her face and it was painted with timid wonder, "It is beautiful." She sighed and stepped back against Chris and he followed her movement, "Okay, that's enough.", she giggled.

On the way back up, Sharon was comfortable enough that she was okay with just holding Chris's hand as he walked near the edge, her on the inside.

You and Sebastian followed behind them. He leaned over slightly to talk quietly to you, "You are THEE most fucking amazing person I know, doll. How you helped Sharon was unbelievably kind. So proud to call you my girl." He kissed your head.

You smiled at hearing his validating words, "Thank you, honey."

The rest of the week was filled with more sites, a boat tour of the lake and you saw lots more wildlife. You were still in awe at their beauty, but didn't break down again. Luckily, no one had ran into any bears.

There was lots of time spent with everyone visiting each other's rooms and just hanging out together. There were even several more love making and fucking sessions between you and Sebastian. He was the best lover ever... And he felt the same about you.

When it came time to leave, everyone was sad it had come to an end, but also looking forward to the familiarity of home. You all had made some really great memories with each other. Everyone was telling Tony and Pepper thank you for the trip throughout the morning as you all prepared to go.

You were feeling tired again that morning, but just chalked it up to all the excitement over the week and that your were expecting your period soon.

Once everyone and everything was loaded in the buses, off you all went; homeward bound. The trip home was spent much like the trip there with games, movies, reading and hanging out.

Chris came upstairs while you were reading on one of the beds, "Hey,", he lowered himself onto to sit as you sat up.

"Hey.", you smiled.

"I just wanted to thank you for helping Sharon at the falls. It was really compassionate. I was glad to see the two of you together like that. I don't think she's ever really felt like she fit in... And I think you changed that for her. Thank you.", he leaned over and hugged you tight. "You're the best, (Y/N)."

"I'm glad I could help her." 

Halfway through the day you started having cramps and you were glad that your period decided to show up when the trip was ending. You got what you needed out of your bag and went into the bathroom, then joined the others again.

About 30 minutes later your cramps were getting a little worse than what you were used to so told Sebastian you were going to go lay down upstairs. You fell asleep for a while and at some point, Sebastian came to lay with you and fell asleep as well.

You woke up having to pee and the cramping hadn't subsided any. When you moved to crawl over Sebastian, he woke up and spoke groggily as he layed his hands on your hips when you passed over him, "You okay, doll?"

"Yeah, I just have to go pee."

You went into the upstairs bathroom at the top of the stairs and sat to do your business, pulling up your pants when you were done. You started washing your hands and a sharp pain in your pelvis doubled you over the sink. You panted and tried to gather yourself. You felt a gushing in your pants... That wasn't a period gush, it was bigger. You were breathing a little more heavily now as you shakily pulled your pants down and found blood, so much blood, it was even slowly seeping down your pants. You were panicking as the pain was worsening from what it had been before. You pulled your pants back up and started to cry sitting on the toilet lid, bracing yourself against the pain on the walls of the tiny room. Your fear came out in a distressed shout, "Sebastian!"

He instantly jumped up and ran to the door and tried to open it, but it was locked. He was trying to stay calm, not knowing what he was going to find on the other side. He could hear your whimpering sobs, "(Y/N), unlock the door, honey."

You reached over and unlocked it shakily.

Chris had ran up the stairs when he heard you call out for Sebastian, Sharon following after him. Everyone else went to the bottom of the stairs, looking upwards and listening.

Chris and Sharon made it to the top of the stairs just as Sebastian opened the door. He stepped in and saw the blood on your pants between your legs. His eyes widened in shock, his voice laced with panic as he crouched down, his hands going to your arms, "Oh my God, baby. What happened?" He put a hand gently against the side of your head, his eyes were darting everywhere across you and his heart was pounding; he didn't know what to do.

Chris and Sharon could see your state now and Chris felt terrified, trying to make sense of what he was seeing.

You answered through sobs, one hand gripping Sebastian's forearm, the other grasping at your lower abdomen, "I dunno. I thought it was my period but there's so much blood and it hurts; it really hurts." You squeezed your eyes shut at another wave of pain.

Sharon spoke up calmly, "Chris, go make sure we stop at the next exit and call 911."


	33. Shadow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You answered through sobs, one hand gripping Sebastian's forearm, the other grasping at your lower abdomen, "I dunno. I thought it was my period but there's so much blood and it hurts; it really hurts." You squeezed your eyes shut at another wave of pain.
> 
> Sharon spoke up calmly, "Chris, go make sure we stop at the next exit and call 911."

Chris followed Sharon's instructions and headed downstairs to tell the others what was going on and told Tony to make sure the driver took the next exit as he called 911.

Sharon stepped to the door of the bathroom and put her hand on Sebastian's shoulder, "Seb, can you let me help her?"

He didn't want to leave you, but knew Sharon would probably be more useful since she was a nurse... And a woman. He clenched his jaw and nodded, while he stood and spoke to you, his face pained, "I'm just gonna step out the door so Sharon can help you, okay, honey?"

"Okay.", you managed through a small groan.

He kissed your head and stepped aside so Sharon could take his place. He stood just outside the door watching you with his arms crossed his face displaying worry and helplessness.

She started as she crouched and took your hand, letting you squeeze it, "We're getting you some help right now, okay, sweetie? Don't worry. Now, I'm just gonna ask you a few questions so we know what to do until we can get help to you, okay?"

You nodded.

"Where is the pain?"

You put your fingers on your pelvic area where the pain was intense, "Here."

"Do you remember when you had your last period?"

"Um,", you winced, "about a month ago, I think, I don't remember exactly when."

"Is there a chance that you could be pregnant?"

At her words, Sebasatian put a clenched fist to his mouth and squeezed his eyes shut, dread sweeping through his entire body, _'Oh God, no.'_

You looked at her confused, "No... Not that I know of? I'm on the pill, so I guess it's possible- Oh, God, Sharon- I was drinking. I've been drinking...", you started to cry.

"Shh," Sharon soothed, "(Y/N), it's okay. That's nothing to worry about. You've done nothing wrong, okay?'

Sebastian's eyes started to fill with tears at seeing you so upset and at the possibility that you had been pregnant and now something was terribly wrong.

"Do you have any pain anywhere else?", she asked.

You concentrated to feel anything but the searing in your lower belly, "Um, my shoulder is starting to hurt a little bit."

Chris came back up with his phone to his ear, as he spoke to the dispatcher, "...and she's been helping her, would it be better to talk to her maybe?" He paused near the bathroom door, listening. "Okay, one sec." He handed the phone towards Sharon, "Dispatch. They already know where we're exiting and they're on their way."

Sharon looked up at him and took the phone, but before placing it against her head, she delegated, "Chris, I need you to find a bunch of towels, blankets, anything we can stack under her for the bleeding." He nodded, he was on auto-pilot now and went to solicit Tony and Pepper's help and to ask where everything was. Sharon continued, "Sebastian, once they get everything on the bed, please help her to lay down and get her covered so she's warm, her temp might drop from the blood loss."

He nodded as Sharon left the bathroom and went to the back of the bus to tell the dispatcher what information she had and Seb wiped his eyes quickly and took his place crouched in front of you again, taking the hand Sharon had been holding. He glanced at the blood again, but quickly looked up at you and choked back his own sob. He took a deep breath to level himself and put his other hand to your cheek and wiped the tears there with his thumb as he whispered, "It's gonna be okay, baby. I'm here, okay?", he nodded.

You nodded in quick, short motions, partly because you were starting to shiver, "Okay.", you said quietly, looking in his eyes to find some sort of security.

"I love you, (Y/N)... more than anything.", he whispered.

You started to cry even more, "I love you too, Seb. Your my everything."

He kissed you softly.

You were both a little scared that something bad enough could be happening that you would never have a chance to say it again.

"Seb,", Chris put a hand on his shoulder and Sebastian looked up at him as he continued, "She can come lay down now."

Sebastian sniffed and composed himself, looking at you, he started to help you up.

You groaned and he cringed. As soon as you were standing enough, he scooped you up and you yelped. He hissed, his face pained and he whispered, "I'm so sorry, baby." He carried you to the bed nearby. setting you on the stack of folded towels and blankets. Chris handed him a blanket to put over you and Sebastian laid next to you as closely as he could, pulling the blanket over you both. He lifted both your shirts off your bellies under the blanket and pressed against you, skin to skin to warm you and he wrapped his arm around your middle near your ribcage. He kissed your temple gently a few times.

Chris unfolded another blanket and spread it over the one covering you and Seb.

The buses already pulled off the freeway and had just stopped. Sharon came back with the phone still to her ear and stood next to the bed, "They're only a few minutes away, okay?", she nodded.

"Okay.", you said.

There was a commotion down below. You heard Nat's voice floating up the stairs, stern and loud, "No, what I need is to see her, Tony!" Apparently, Tony was trying to convince Nat that she needed to give you space. Her footsteps came jogging up the stairs.

She came to the bedside and smiled softly, "Hey, girl...", she leaned over Sebastian slightly and stroked your hair once. "It's gonna be okay. I'm gonna go wherever you go until this is sorted out, okay? I just needed to check on you. I'll be outside the bus for now, alright?"

You nodded, "Thanks, Nat."

She winked and went back down.

You heard Tony mutter something and then Nat spat back, "Fuck you, Tony!", and the door slammed.

The ambulance got there and the paramedics asked you questions as they checked your vitals quickly. Sebastian then carried you down the stairs and out the door to where they had a gurney waiting for you. He set you down as gently as he could. The paramedics then covered you, started an IV, hooked you up to some monitors and pushed you towards the ambulance as Sebastian kept a hold of your hand.

He asked one of the paramedics, desperately, "Can I ride with her...please?"

The paramedic nodded, "Yes, of course."

Sebastian let out a heavy sigh of relief, "Thank God. Thank you."

Luckily, there was a hospital only a few miles away, so they could get you there quickly. The rest of the group would go to the hospital, but they would come later; they didn't have sirens and lights to allow them to speed.

You were starting to feel weak and sleepy when the paramedics wheeled you into the emergency room and into a curtained area. They lifted you to the hospital bed there by using the gurney sheet as a kind of hammock to lift you over.

After all the questions and assessment, a portable ultrasound machine was brought in to check for internal bleeding. Sebastian was by your side the entire time. He was now sitting in a chair next to you, holding your hand. The technician did the ultrasound and then postioned the bed so you could sit upright again and left, telling you that a doctor would be in to discuss the results with you.

The doctor came in and you both got nervous instantly, you squeezed Sebastian's hand tighter and he squeezed gently back.

"So the ultrasound found that you have internal bleeding from a ruptured fallopian tube, which was caused by an ectopic pregnancy."

Your face twisted in worry and confusion as you looked to Sebastian, his expression mirrored yours, then you looked to the doctor again, "What- what is that?"

You've heard of it before, but didn't know exactly what it entailed, so you had asked.

The doctor answered, "That means that the embryo implanted in the fallopian tube instead of the uterus where it should have. It grew there and eventually ruptured the tube, causing you to bleed."

You felt the tears coming as the doctor continued.

"We'll have to do emergency surgery to stop your bleeding and to remove the ruptured tube. You'll still be able to conceive in the future after some time."

You heard Sebastian's strained voice next to you ask quietly, "Can the baby be saved?"

The doctor shook his head solemnly, "No. I'm sorry."

You covered your mouth trying to hold back your sobs as the tears welled up in your eyes. You heard Sebastian let out a shaky breath as you felt his other hand go to your shoulder and squeeze it.

"Someone will be in in a few minutes to take you to surgery."

You nodded and barely got out through your hand against your mouth, "Thank you."

As soon as the doctor left, you lost it. The tears and the sobs all started coming out.

Sebastian sat on the bed next to you and wrapped his arms around you, his head against yours. He was letting out his own jagged breaths, crying with you. His voice came out a quiet whimper, "I'm so sorry, baby." He sniffed and growled in agony, "God. I'm so sorry."

Your head fell slowly, coming to rest on his shoulder and all you could do is cry as he held you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More crying for me.
> 
> Let me know what you think. Love you guys.
> 
> xoxo


	34. Empty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Refresher:
> 
> Sebastian sat on the bed next to you and wrapped his arms around you, his head against yours. He was letting out his own jagged breaths, crying with you. His voice came out a quiet whimper, "I'm so sorry, baby." He sniffed and growled in agony, "God. I'm so sorry."
> 
> Your head fell slowly, coming to rest on his shoulder and all you could do is cry as he held you.

I was listening to [this song](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eIZNyC1uYko) while I wrote this chapter. 

\-----

When the nurse came to take you to surgery, you got changed into a hospital gown with the nurse's help. Sebastian then went with you when the nurse wheeled you to the operating room.

You met the surgeon outside the operating room and he explained to you what would happen during the surgery, Sebastian listening.

Sebastian then said goodbye to you, kissing you several times. He still had tears in his eyes, holding your hand in his against his chest, his head resting against yours as your other hand gripped his bicep. He spoke softly, "I'm so sorry, baby. I love you."

"I love you too.", you sniffed.

He put a hand to the back of your head and kissed your forehead as you closed your eyes.

"I'll see you soon.", he said.

You nodded.

He stepped back and both your eyes didn't leave each others until he was out of your sight and you were in the room.

The medical staff prepared everything and two nurses helped you scoot from the bed to the operating table. The anesthesiologist then talked to you and, with a syringe, added the drug to your IV line that would put you to sleep. You're heart was racing. He spoke low, "Okay, just relax. You'll be alseep soon."

"Okay.", you replied quietly, with tears filling your eyes again.

"You okay, hon?", the anesthesiologist asked you.

"Just emotional about the pregnancy."

He rubbed your arm lightly, "I know it's hard. I'm sorry."

You squeezed your eyes shut and the tears rolled down your temples towards your hair as the words floated through your mind, _'I'm so sorry, little baby.'_

And then everything stopped exsisting as unconciuosness took you.

Another nurse led Sebstian to the O.R. waiting room. They came to the end of the hall and she pointed him to the left, to an alcove room off the hall he would go down.

He nodded solemnly and his voice was barely audible, "Thank you." He sauntered down the hall toward the waiting room. It seemed to take forever. He felt empty with no sense of time. As he approached the waiting room, everyone came into sight, waiting anxiously in chairs and standing around; some supporting each other by holding hands, arms around shoulders...

As they saw him, his eyes were puffy, red and still had the slight glisten of tears, but his face showed nothing. He stopped short of actually stepping into the area. A few took steps towards him, but only Chris approached him. He put his hands on Sebastian's arms and just looked at him with concern; he had no idea what to say. The others only stepped close enough to hear anything that might be said.

Sebastian made eye contact with Chris and swallowed hard, his voice coming out a quiet, deadpan croak, "Ectopic pregnancy, in the fallopian tube, it burst. She's having emergency surgery. They can't save the baby." The tears started filling his eyes again.

Everyone's face fell, a few starting tearing up. Others covered their mouths or hung their heads.

Chris's face twisted in anguish, the tears came quick for him and fell fast. He took Sebastian firmly in his arms, hugging him tight, and fighting back his own sobs as he whispered, "I'm so sorry, Seb."

Sebastian only squeezed back in response, his breath ragged, his eyes shut tight.

After a long moment, Chris released him and shoved his hands in his pants pockets as Sharon put one hand on Chris's arm, the other hand over his opposite shoulder. Chris sniffed, "Do you know when she'll be done?"

Sebastian stared at the floor, "About an hour."

"Can I get you anything?"

"No."

Pepper approached Sebastian with a plastic grocery bag. She spoke softly as she held it up slightly, "I brought a change of clothes for you and for (Y/N)."

Sebastian looked at her at the sound of her voice and then blankly looked down at his own clothes, spotted with your blood on his stomach, crotch and thighs. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, fighting another wave of emotion. He then opened his eyes and took the bag gently, "Thank you."

Pepper told him where the bathroom was. Sebastian nodded and headed there to change.

He stepped into the single person bathroom, locked the door and washed his hands. He opened the bag to look inside it. Your shirt was on the top, neatly folded. He stared at it for a beat and then pulled it out and held it to his face, buried his nose in it and closed his eyes, breathing deeply. Being away from you, with what had happened, what was going on now and the loss that he was feeling... it was killing him; he needed something to feel close to you. He felt himself losing it again and put his hands down on the corners of the sink, the bag still in one hand and gripping your shirt in the other, his head hanging down. He sobbed quietly to himself for a good minute.

He stood straight, sniffed, wiped his eyes with his wrist. He put your shirt in the bag and got his own clothes out, washed up and changed. He just threw his bloody clothes in the tall trash can; he didn't think he would be able to get the blood out anyway and really didn't want to keep that kind of reminder of what happened.

When he came out of the bathroom and entered the waiting room, Chris stood and handed him a bottle of water, which Sebastian took. "Thanks, man.", he said softly.

Sebastian went to sit on one of the couches and Chris sat right next to him. Sebastian set the bag next to his feet and opened the water, taking a long drink before replacing the cap and holding it with both hands, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees, sighing. Chris mirrored his sitting position.

Then they waited.

When you woke up, you were in a hospital room, slightly propped up in the partially reclined bed. The sun was setting outside the window. You blinked a few times as the fog in your brain lifted slowly. Sebastian was in a chair right next to the bed. His forehead resting on his folded arms right next to you on the bed and he was holding your hand underneath them.

Then you remembered why you were there. You probably could've cried again, but you were so physically tired that it didn't seem you even could right now.

You swallowed and your throat stung; it was so dry. You made a small noise at the sensation and Sebastian lifted his head, he brows furrowed in sympathy and relief as he spoke soft and sweet, "Hey, baby doll.", he managed a very slight smile with his closed lips and stroked your hand with his thumb. "I missed you." His eyes were still red and a bit swollen from crying earlier. Your heart ached for him.

"I missed you too.", you barely whispered, returning his small smile.

He stood and leaned over you, kissing your forehead, "How you feeling?" He sat again.

"My throat's dry."

He grabbed a cup with a straw from the tray table next to him and held the straw in front of your mouth, "Don't try to sit up, okay?"

You took a drink and hummed, "Okay. Thank you."

He pressed the nurse button on the bed rail near your head and it beeped a voice following after, "What can I help you with?"

Sebastian answered, "She's awake."

"Okay, we'll come check on her.", it beeped again and then speaker turned off.

A plump and bubbly nurse knocked and came in, she looked to be about 40 or so, she had a short feathered hairstyle dyed bright red, "Hi, sweetheart! I'm Julie, I'll be your nurse for the night shift. How we doin?", she asked as she wrapped a cuff on your arm to take your blood pressure, Sebastian still holding your other hand.

You smiled a little at her enthusiasm, "Um, okay, I guess.", you croaked. "I'm freaking starving though."

She giggled as she took your temperature with an ear thermometer, "Oh, that's a good sign! You can order something to be sent up to your room. The menu and phone are on the bed table over there.", She pushed a button on the thermometer and a little plastic guard shot off into the trash can she was aiming at. "If you need to go to the bathroom, please ring for a nurse to help you up and to get you back in the bed. I'll send your surgeon in a minute to talk to you."

"Thank you."

"Oh, you're welcome, honey!", and she left.

Sebastian handed you the menu to look at. Your eyes traveled over it, "Ugh, I could eat all of this."

He smiled a little and rubbed his thumb over your hand again.

The surgeon knocked and came in before you had a chance to decide on something.

"Hey, (Y/N). How are you doing?", he asked compassionately as he pulled a stool over next to the bedside opposite Sebastian and sat to be eye level with you.

You nodded, "Good, considering...", okay, you still had a little left in you... a few tears were coming.

He nodded and spoke softly, "Yeah. I know, hon. Something like this is still a difficult loss, but you can get through it. You can both get some counseling if you need to and just remember you did nothing wrong, okay? You too, sir.", he pointed at Sebastian. "This wasn't anyone's fault and I want you both to remember that. These things happen. Okay?" He looked at both of you. You both nodded.

He continued, "You can also still have children with just one fallopian tube, you just have to give it some time. I'm going to give you referral to an OB in your area to do your follow up visits and to talk to you about when you can conceive again if you so choose. You can eat anything you like, just listen to your body on what and how much to eat. You have three incisions in different areas from your belly button to just above your pelvic bone, they're small since the surgery was laprocospic, but you should still limit your movement and be gentle with yourself for a while. We're going to keep you until the morning after tomorrow to make sure everything is copacetic, then when you go home, one week bed rest, no strenuous or rigorous activity for two weeks to let your incision sites, the abdominal muscles under the incisions and all the stuff we patched inside heal. The stitches will dissolve on their own. You can take a shower the day after tomorrow. If you need to before then, washcloth wipe down with water, but not on the incision sites. We'll also send you home with some pain medication in case you need it, okay?"

Your eyes had gotten wide, "Um, can you write all that down?"

He chuckled, "Yes, I'll have the nurse type it up. Well, (Y/N), my shift is over. It was a pleasure taking care of you.", he shook your hand, "It's gonna be okay, alright?", he smiled genuinely.

You nodded and smiled, "Thank you."

He took a few steps away and you spoke up, "Oh-", he turned and listened, "Is it okay for him to sleep in the same bed with me... starting tonight?", you pointed at Sebastian, who smiled a little bigger than he had been and he squeezed your hand.

The surgeon chuckled, "As long as you're both comfortable with it and he can be careful with you, I see no problem with it. I'm sure you both could use being close right now."

You sighed and smiled, "Okay, cool. Thank you."

With that, he nodded and left.

"Where is everyone?", you asked Sebastian.

"They just went to the cafeteria to get something to eat."

"Have you eaten?"

He frowned a little and shook his head.

"Okay, well, then let's order you something when we order mine."

"Okay.", he nodded.

You started looking at the menu again and there was a knock and then Chris, Sharon, Tony, Pepper, Natasha and Bruce filed in.

You nearly threw your hands in the air, menu still in hand. You sighed and whispered in Sebastian's direction, "At this rate I'm never gonna eat." You were getting a little hangry.

Sebastian huffed out a breath of a laugh.

Everyone forced a smile at you and Chris greeted you hesitantly his face unsure, "Hi, sweetie."

You smiled at him a little, "Hi Chris."

He leaned over and gave you the most gentle hug he could manage, then he straightened, "How are you doing?"

You shrugged one shoulder, pulling the corners of your mouth down, tilting your head, "I'm okay. Sad, of course, but okay." Those fucking tears were coming, again. You looked at your lap.

He frowned a little, his eyes were getting a bit wet too, "I'm sorry, sweetheart.", he squeezed your shoulder gently and Sebastian took your hand again and squeezed it.

The menu in your lap was blurry now from the tears hanging on in your eyes, "Thank you."

You then looked at Tony and Pepper, worried, "Oh my God, you guys, the bus, the mess... I'm so sorry."

Tony gave you a dismissive expression, "Honey, don't worry about it. We'll take care of it. You just worry about getting better... And you two take care of each other.", he gestured between you and Sebastian. "You take as much time as you need, the both of you. We also got some rooms in the hotel down the street until you can go home." He smiled. It was an honest to God loving smile.

Sebastian nodded, "Thank you so much, Tony."

Nat, Bruce and Sharon where going to take the other bus home with everyone else in the morning, they all had jobs to get to the day after tomorrow. Nat loved on you for a few minutes and said goodbye, telling you to call her if you need anything. Her and Bruce left the room.

Sharon came to say goodbye and hugged you, "You're gonna get through this, okay?", she reassured and pulled back, but you grabbed her hand, "Thank you for being there for me, Sharon."

She smiled softly, "Thank you for being there for me."

You returned her smile and Chris walked her out the door saying he'd be right back.

Tony and Pepper said they were going to head back to the hotel for the night and went on their way as well.

Chris came back in and spent a little more time with you and Sebastian watching TV while you both finally got to eat something.

He then said goodnight and headed back to the hotel for the night to give you and Sebastian some privacy to grieve your loss.

You called a nurse in to give you something in your IV for pain and help you get up to pee, then back in bed and she left.

Sebastian turned out the lights and left the TV on so you could both watch for a bit. He kicked off his shoes and was extremely cautious getting in the bed with you. He sat back and propped a pillow behind his head. He managed to get his arm around your back and roll you to him without moving you too much. He wrapped his arms around you, kissed your temple, then you laid your forehead against his cheek.

After a moment he spoke quietly, "I thought I might lose you today. I was so scared."

You looked at him and frowned. You knew you were going to cry now, "Me too." You paused, "I haven't told you..."

He looked down at you curiously.

"I haven't told you how sorry I am that you had to go through this, Seb. I'm so sorry.", you looked down.

"It's not your fault, baby."

"I know, I just...", the tears were streaming down your face and you were starting to sob and you swiped the heal of your hand over one eye in frustration, "Ugh. I know it wasn't even baby yet, but it just hurts so bad."

He was starting to tear up again, furrowing his brow as he lifted your chin gently to look at him, "Hey, it was. It was _our_ baby...and you have every right to be hurting- I know I am."

Your face showed sympathy as he spoke again.

"But, we're going to get through this, (Y/N). I love you, you mean everything to me and I will do everything I can to help you heal.", he kissed your lips so softly.

"I promise to do the same for you, honey. I love you."

He nodded, "I know, baby. I know you will."

You held each other tight and fell asleep quickly. To say it was an exhausting day would've been the understatement of a lifetime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugly crying all over the fucking place!
> 
> That song I linked at the beginning probably made it worse.
> 
> You guys better love the shit outta this chapter, because I got dehydrated writing it.
> 
> xoxo


	35. Where The Heart Is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Refresher:
> 
> He was starting to tear up again, furrowing his brow as he lifted your chin gently to look at him, "Hey, it was. It was _our_ baby...and you have every right to be hurting- I know I am."
> 
> Your face showed sympathy as he spoke again.
> 
> "But, we're going to get through this, (Y/N). I love you, you mean everything to me and I will do everything I can to help you heal.", he kissed your lips so softly.
> 
> "I promise to do the same for you, honey. I love you."
> 
> He nodded, "I know, baby. I know you will."
> 
> You held each other tight and fell asleep quickly. To say it was an exhausting day would've been the understatement of a lifetime.

Everyone who had stayed behind; Chris, Tony and Pepper came to visit you and Sebastian often throughout your stay. Tony and Pepper managed to get everyone's clothes laundered and they even brought sushi for lunch the next day. It was from a grocery store, but you didn't care and were so grateful for the gesture. Chris would stay with you anytime Sebastian went anywhere or when he showered. Sebastian had gotten you flowers with a card that simply said, _'I love you.'_ That's all it needed to say.

The morning came for you to leave and everything checked out so you were discharged and relaxed in a bed of a new bus that Tony and Pepper had gotten. You slept quite a bit, watched movies, read and played card games with everyone... From the bed. Sebastian almost never left your side. He wanted to carry you everywhere, even to the bathroom, but he settled for just supporting you as you walked when you told him you wanted to walk. He brushed your hair and rubbed your shoulders and anywhere else that needed it. Before you were discharged, they told you that you might get some dull pains in your body for a day or two from the air they inflated your belly with to get to everything better during the surgery. You were going a little crazy and couldn't believe you had to go home and be tied to your bed for almost a week.

The pain of your loss came up every once and a while and you would cry again while Sebastian just held you or you would look out the window at the passing scenery, just imagining what life would been like being pregnant with Sebastian's child and if that little one had made it into the world... Which made you cry even more.

When you got to Tony and Pepper's that night, Chris, you and Sebastian took their cars home. When you got home, Sebastian helped you into the house and you changed all your clothes into some jammies under Sebastian's watchful eye. He was fretting over you, but you didn't mind too much. He got you set up in your bed with pillows behind your back and head, propping you up just enough, but you were still laying down. Chris unloaded the cars.

Sebastian sat on the edge of your bed and stroked your hair, "How you doing, honey?"

You nodded, "I'm okay."

He nodded back, giving you a small smile, "Well,", he blew out a breath, shifting and taking your hand, "You're gonna be holed up in here for a few more days. Do you need me to get you anything?"

"Well, I'm gonna need some big fat pizza for dinner.", you raised your eyebrows and nodded.

He chuckled, "You got it. Anything else?"

"Beer?"

He tilted his head and gave you an affectionate, but scolding look, "You're on pain meds, baby. No alcohol."

You sneered disapprovingly, "Oh. Yeah. Dammit. How 'bout some cherry Pepsi?"

"Okay. And what about things to do?"

You thought for a beat, "Ummm, books to read... Maybe some coloring books and colored pencils. Movies, of course."

He nodded.

"And um... Some yarn? I learned how to knit and crochet a while ago, maybe now would be a good time to pick it up again.", you chuckled softly.

He nodded again and smiled, "Yeah, that'll be cool."

"I have hooks and needles, but they're in storage."

He smiled, "I'll buy you new ones. Just text me what to buy and what yarn colors you want. I'll go get everything now and Chris can stay with you and order the pizza. Sound good?"

"Yep.", you beamed.

He leaned in and kissed you, "Love you, doll."

"Love you, Sebby."

He left the room and you heard his and Chris's voices in the kitchen talking about what was going on. You texted Sebastian what you would like, switched on the TV and turned on Friends; always a good show. Sebastian shouted as he headed for the door, "Love you, baby!"

"Love you!", you called back. You heard the front door close as Sebastian left and Chris came in.

He sat on the bed, touched your hand and wiggled it a little, "Hey, hon. What do you want on your pizza?"

You smiled, "Mmmm, everything."

He laughed a little, "How about a combination pizza?"

Your stomach spoke for you, growling loudly and you chortled, "I think that means yes. Thank you."

He laughed, "Okay. Sharon asked if she could come see you. Is that okay?"

You nodded, "Yeah, totally. She can hang out with us tonight."

"Cool. Need anything else?"

"I'm good, thank you, Chris."

He stared at you for a beat, then took your hand and squeezed, "I just want you to know how sorry I am that you have to go through this. It breaks my heart. You don't deserve it."

You pressed you lips together, managing to keep your emotions in check, "Thank you so much. And thank you for helping take care of me and being here for me... For us."

He smiled slightly, "I'll always take care of you. Remember that. I've told you that before and it still hasn't changed. You still mean so much to me." He leaned over you and gave your forehead a long, gentle kiss. He didn't care if he was doing something that maybe he shouldn't, he had to show you.

You closed your eyes and just let yourself feel how he was showing you how much you meant to him.

He pulled back and looked at you intensely. He sighed and smiled as he got up, "I'll go order that pizza. Call me if you need anything." With that, he left the room.

You layed there thinking about what had just happened. Was he feeling more emotional towards you because of what has happened? The way he looked at you... What was that? You didn't think on it too much though, he probably did just feel really bad about what you've gone through and you are his friend. Normal reaction, right? You didn't know; this kind of loss has never happened to you before. You went back to watching TV.

After only a moment, you felt you had to pee and started to slowly sit up and every muscle in your abdomen tightened with excruciating pain. You cried out and fell back down.

Chris jogged into your room and he sat next to you as you whimpered at the pain.

His face was worried as he placed a hand on your arm, "What's wrong?"

You grunted quietly, squeezing your eyes shut, "Muscle cramps. I tried to get up to pee.", you groaned, "My whole stomach." You realized you were holding your breath and let it out with a groan, "God."

"What can I do?"

You breathed heavily, "I don't know. Just give me a second."

He waited, concerned.

You took deep breaths and the pain began to subside, "Okay."

"You okay?", he rubbed your arm softly.

"I think so. They gave me muscle relaxers, right?"

He nodded, "Yeah."

"Maybe I could have one of those now.", you breathed out a weak chuckle.

He gave your hand a squeeze, "I'll go get it."

He came back with your prescription bottle, sitting and handing it to you. Once you got the tablet out he handed you a bottle of water after opening it, "You can stop scaring me any day now, you know.", he winked.

You laughed softly propping yourself on your elbow, "Sorry.", you popped the tablet in your mouth and drank from the bottle.

"The pizza is ordered. Let me help you up and then I'll text Sharon."

He got you up, to the bathroom and then back in bed. He sat next to you again and he texted Sharon as you continued to watch TV.

He seemed to be texting a while before he spoke to you again, "I told Sharon about what happened and she said that can happen and you'll probably need help getting up for a couple days still."

You laughed, "Thanks, papa bear."

"Always take care of you, remember?", he smiled. "She'll be over soon."

You smiled and then your face burst into excitement, "Oh, my God! I get to shower tomorrow!"

He cocked an eyebrow, "Damn good thing; you're starting to smell ripe.", he smirked.

You narrowed your eyes, "I'd sit up and shove you right now if I didn't think it'd throw my body into another painful spasm."

He laughed, "So, I can tease you for a couple more days with no repercussions. Awesome."

You rolled your eyes.

"I'm just kidding, hon. You don't stink."

You scoffed, "Gee, thanks."

He went to the other side of your bed and sat near the edge, leaning against the headboard and putting his bare feet up.

Sebastian returned with bags full of stuff. He put the Pepsi in the fridge and took the rest in your room. He leaned over and kissed you, "Hi, doll."

"Hi.", you smiled back.

"How ya doin'?", he asked.

Chris spoke up, "She had a muscle fit."

Sebastian furrowed his brows looking at you, "Huh?"

You answered, "I had some painful muscle cramps in my stomach, but I'm fine. I took a muscle relaxer."

"You sure?", he asked.

"Yes, honey."

He frowned, "I'm sorry, baby."

"It's okay." You smiled big, "What'd ya bring me?"

He started pulling stuff out of the bags and setting on the bed next to you, "Coloring books,", he set down five of them, some kid themed and some adult coloring books, "colored pencils, a big box. And a pencil sharpener. Movies.", he set down three DVDs, two that he knew you loved but didn't have and one that you'd never seen but wanted to. "Yarn, hooks and knitting needles.", he set them down too. "I'll have to get you books tomorrow, the library isn't open this late. Pepsi's in the fridge."

You smiled as he put stuff back in the bags, "Thank you, babe."

He set the bag he was holding on the floor next to your night stand and kicked off his shoes, then settled in next to you, working his arm under your neck, "You're welcome." He smiled softly and kissed your nose.

You all watched TV until Sharon got there. She came in to see you and sat on the edge of the bed while she talked to you about what's been going on with you physically as Sebastian sat at the foot of the bed and Chris stood. She was so helpful.

The doorbell rang again and Chris went to get it. After a moment, he called out from the kitchen, "Dinner!"

"I'll go help.", Sharon said and left the room.

Sebastian stood as you tried to sit up, "What are you doing?", he went to your side.

"I'm gonna go eat dinner."

"No, don't get up. I'll get it for you.", he sat trying to ease you back down. "Bed rest, remember?"

"I can sit in a chair, Seb."

He got more insistent, "No, I'll get it, baby."

"Seb, stop!", you snapped.

His eyes widened for a beat as he clenched his jaw and his nostrils flared slightly. He slowly took his hands from you, putting them on his thighs and his gaze shifted to the floor, his head not moving.

You just yelled at him.

Chris and Sharon had heard the conversation leading up to this point from where they were in the kitchen, but were surprised at your shout, so they just looked at each other, paused and waited.

Your face fell, "Oh, my God. Honey, I'm sorry.", you touched one of his hands. "I'm just going crazy being tied to a bed everywhere I go and with everything that's happened... I just want to go eat at a table, get out of this bed for a bit. I'm sorry, Seb."

He didn't move, but he swallowed. He finally looked at you, his face was hardened as he spoke softly, "I just want to make sure you get better as quickly as you can. I know you're going through a lot, but you aren't the only one going through this."

Your face was pained, "I know, honey. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done that." You waited for something, anything that told you that he forgave you.

He moved his hand out from under yours and you were afraid he was going to pull away, but he placed his hand over yours and took it, "I know. I'm sorry that you have to deal with a loss, the pain, the surgery and being confined on top of that. I can't pretend that I know how it's affecting you. Just don't do that again. Please."

You nodded, a little relieved, "I promise."

He started to help you up, his voice still a bit somber, "Let's go get you some pizza, doll."

You stood slowly with his help and when you were completely upright, you wrapped your arms around his middle and rested your head on his chest. He enveloped you in his arms and rested his cheek on your head. You whispered, "I'm sorry, Sebby."

He stroked your hair, "I know, baby."

He guided you to the table with a hand at your back and helped you sit and went to get you plate. 

Chris came over with several bottles of beer. He set one in front of you.

You picked it back up and held it up, "Oh. I can't have this, Chris."

He took it back, cringing, "Oh. Shit. Sorry. I'll put these back." He took a step to go back to the fridge with the beers.

You scoffed out a laugh, "You guys can have beer if you want. It's not gonna bother me."

He raised his eyebrows, "You sure?"

"Yeah, it's fine. I'll be able to have it again soon enough."

He set them all back down and took only one back. Sebastian handed him a Pepsi from the fridge, "Thanks, bro." He returned to the table with Sebastian following him with your plate.

You all ate and then settled in your room to watch one of the movies Sebastian bought for you. Chris and Sharon sat on couch cushions on the floor at the foot of your bed while you and Sebastian laid in the bed.

You fell asleep about halfway through the movie with Sebastian's arm under your head and neck. Once he noticed you were asleep, he admired your peaceful face for a moment, thinking about how brave and strong you've been through all this; he was having a hard enough time with everything himself and he hadn't had to deal with near as much you have. He kissed your forehead lovingly.

When the movie was nearly over, you shifted your head slightly and a moment later, you started snoring. Sebastian looked to you and pulled the corners of his mouth downward comically, his eyes wide with surprise at how loud you were as Chris and Sharon turned around at the sound. Sharon looked confused. Chris furrowed his brows, his mouth turning up slightly as he whispered to Sebastian, "Is that her?"

Sebastian was fighting a laugh as he whispered back, "Yes." He then chortled quietly, "And my fuckin' arm's asleep, dude."

They all started laughing quietly and soft outward snorts could be heard in an attempt to not wake you. Sebastian's body started shaking from trying to quiet his laughs and it woke you a little. You opened your eyes, "What...", you croaked out.

He laughed a little louder, "You're snoring, baby. Like a freight train."

Your eyes were closed again, but the soft laughter from everyone was keeping you awake, barely, "Oh, that's cool.", you mumbled.

He kissed your head, "Go back to sleep."

"Can't."

"Why?"

"Gotta fuckin' pee.", you answered, nonchalant.

Everyone laughed louder as Sebastian started slipping his arm out from under your neck, your head lolling a bit, "Okay, doll. Let's get you up."

You said goodbye to Sharon sleepily as Sebastian helped you sit, then stand. Chris walked her out.

You went to the restroom and then Sebastian leaned his backside against the counter as you brushed your teeth.

"You doin' okay, honey?", he asked.

"Yeah.", you answered, muffled by the toothbrush and toothpaste foam in your mouth. You had woken up a bit, but you were still sleepy enough to go back to bed when you were done.

He took you back to your bed and got you laid down. He then went to get himself ready for bed. Chris had already said goodnight and gone down to the family room to watch TV for a while.

Sebastian returned and turned off the light. He climbed into the bed and cuddled up next to you. You hadn't fallen asleep yet. He nuzzled against your neck and tickled your arm, "I miss you.", he whispered.

You chuckled softly, "I'm right here, Seb."

"No,", he slid his hand up your neck. His breath caressed the other side as his lips grazed your skin while he spoke, "I _miss you_.", he kissed you there slow and gentle.

You felt a stirring low in your belly as your breath caught and you sighed, "I miss you too, honey." You turned your head and kissed him softly, your tongues caressing each other tenderly.

As his lips left yours, he rested his forehead against yours, "Two weeks until I can be inside you again is gonna kill me."

You smiled in the dark, "The doctor said no rigorous activity. I think that means you'll just have to make gentle love to me instead of fucking me before that two weeks is up."

"Mmmm, maybe so."

He kissed your lips softly and nuzzled against your cheek, "Nite, baby doll."

"Nite, lover."

He smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!
> 
> Thanks for everything, you guys are teh awesome sauce!
> 
> Much love!
> 
> xoxo


	36. Bridge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> You smiled in the dark, "The doctor said no rigorous activity. I think that means you'll just have to make gentle love to me instead of fucking me before that two weeks is up."
> 
> "Mmmm, maybe so."
> 
> He kissed your lips softly and nuzzled against your cheek, "Nite, baby doll."
> 
> "Nite, lover."
> 
> He smiled.

The next morning, Sebastian woke you gently by peppering small kisses on your neck and collarbone then he spoke softly, "Babyyyy dooooll." He stroked his fingertips across your forehead, over your temple and down your cheek, "Wake up, gorgeous."

You hummed happily and opened your eyes, seeing Sebastian over you, smiling, "Mmm. Morning."

"There she is.", he beamed at you as he slowly dragged his fingers back and forth over your stomach. "How you feelin'?"

You stretched gingerly, "Good. I think being home really helped me sleep well."

He smiled softly, blinking at you slowly, "Good. I made breakfast."

He helped you out of bed and led you to the kitchen.

Chris had gone to work, so it was just the two of you.

After breakfast, he did the dishes while you sipped your coffee at the table. You browsed the internet on your phone for knit and crochet patterns, trying to decide on something to make.

Sebastian came to your side and leaned over, placing a hand on the table, the other one the back of your chair. He looked over your shoulder at your phone, "Oh, that one's cool.", he pointed at a picture of a detailed, colorful afghan.

You chuckled, "I don't think I'm ready for that. But, I'll find something."

"You ready for a shower?", he kissed the top of your head.

You set your phone down and turned in your chair, "God, yes."

He helped you up, "I'll go start it."

He headed to the bathroom as you went to get a change of clothes set out.

When you came into the bathroom, he had turned on the water and set two towels on the counter. He took your hand, "Can I join you?"

You smiled up at him, "Of course."

He gently helped you udress and then removed his pants and underwear. He stepped in the shower and took your hand to lead you in. He backed up under the water with his arms around your middle, your back pressed against him.

The warm trickle streamed over your skin, soothing you as Sebastian swept your hair to one side and softly kissed the base of your neck. You hummed, closed your eyes and laid your head back against his shoulder.

He turned you in his embrace and kissed you tenderly. He then turned you both, letting the water run over you unobstructed. He kissed along your collarbone, and down between your breasts, your hands now on his broad shoulders. He continued, lowering himself as he now kissed your stomach.

You sighed quietly, "Seb, I don't think I'm ready."

"I know, baby.", he said softly against your skin and pressed his lips to your lower belly lovingly. He wrapped his arms around your hips as he gently rested his head against you for a long moment, closing his eyes.

Your hand rested on his shoulder, the other stroked his hair. His intimate gesture broke your heart and made it swell simultaneously; you understood what it meant.

He stood and picked up the washcloth he had placed in the shower beforehand, squeezed body wash onto it and started to wash you. He took his time, gliding the foamy fabric over your skin everywhere. He gave your whole body affectionate attention; from every expanse of skin, to every delicate crevice. He used his bare fingertips lightly over the entire area where your stitches were so the roughness of the washcloth wouldn't disturb them and so he could love on you more there. He then washed your hair.

You spoke softly as he massaged your scalp, "You're so good to me, Seb. I'm so lucky to have you."

A small smile crept across his face, "I feel the same about you, darling.", he eased you under the water to rinse. When you were free of all the suds, he then took you in his arms and kissed your lips gingerly. He looked deep into your eyes, his voice low when he spoke, "When we're ready, I want to try again. I want to have a baby with you."

Your breath hitched and your eyes quickly welled up with tears as your voice came out hoarse and shaky, "Me too."

A week had passed and you were finally able to get out of that damn bed for more than peeing, eating and showering. Your friends each came to visit you over that week. You had been to see the obstetrician the surgeon referred you to and everything was going well.

You all invited friends over for a barbecue on Saturday. Sharon, Natasha, Bruce, Thor and Jane all came, bringing food and drinks.

You were in the kitchen preparing food at the island, everyone trickling in as they arrived and Sebastian let them in. You could see Chris out back through the sun room windows, getting the grill ready, beer in hand. You smiled.

When Bruce and Nat came in, Bruce headed out back to say hi to Chris, Jane and Sharon. Nat stayed in the kitchen with you, Sebastian and Thor. She went to you and gave you a side hug while you cut tomatoes for burgers, "Hey, girl, how's it hangin'?"

"I don't have a wang, Nat.", you chuckled.

She leaned in, but didn't bother lowering her voice, "Yes you do, it's just not on _your_ body." She quirked an eyebrow.

You laughed along with everyone, barely pointing the knife toward Sebastian across the island, "Oh. Ask him then."

Nat looked at him expectantly.

He cocked an eyebrow, "I'm not telling you that." He took a swig of his beer.

She laughed in response, and adressed you again, "You can drink now, right?"

"Yep. No more pain meds.", you replied, focusing on your work.

She pulled a bottle of Bacardi from the brown bag she was holding, beaming.

Your eyes got wide, "Oh, bless you!" You could use a little loosening up.

Sebastian pointed at Nat sternly, "Hey. You're not allowed to get her sloshed."

You had let it slip after your drunken stupor at Pepper's birthday party that Nat had been your partner in drinking crime that night.

Nat's eyebrows popped up, "I wouldn't dream of it. I got a fuckin' earful from Chris the last time I did."

Chris came in to get the burger patties just as Nat handed you the bottle. He walked over to you, waving his hands, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Nat, seriously. (Y/N) just had surgery,", he took the bottle from your hand, scowling at Nat, "she can't get drunk. We don't need her falling over, tearing a muscle or ripping stitches."

Sebastian spoke up, "Look, Chris, she could use a little stress relief after the week she's had. I, of all people, am not gonna let her get drunk. You know that, right?"

Chris pursed his lips and looked at you.

You raised your eyebrows, "Promise."

He sighed and nodded, looking back to Sebastian, "Okay." He gave you a slight smile, "Where's the burgers?"

"On a plate in the fridge."

Chris handed Thor a case of beer from the fridge, grabbed the burgers and they both went out back. Sebastian rounded the island with his beer in hand. He came to your side, putting a hand around your waist and he spoke against your hair, "You know this means I'm not leaving your side once you start drinking, right?"

You chuckled as he kissed your head and Nat smiled at the two of you.

"I wouldn't expect anything less.", you replied.

"Good.", he growled and smacked your ass, making you squeak in surprise. He started for the back yard and pointed at you, "You better behave, miss."

"I will, Sebby.", you smiled after him and started tearing leaves off a head of lettuce.

Nat grinned at you, "Well, someone's feeling feisty."

You chortled, "Yeah, a week without sex will do that to a guy."

She chuckled and grabbed herself a beer from the fridge and cracked it open and took a swig. She stood next to you again, leaning her hip on the island, "(Y/N), if you ever need to talk to someone who's been through this before, I want you to know you can talk to me." She set down her beer and her face was serious.

You stopped what you were doing and your face turned sympathetic, "Oh my God, Nat. I'm so sorry." You hugged her tight and then pulled back, "Why didn't you ever say something before?"

She tilted her head to the side and frowned, "Never came up. And when it happened to you, I wasn't sure I wanted to tell anyone yet."

"You and Bruce? When?"

"No, it was before Bruce, several years ago.", she looked at counter and started playing with a wilted piece of lettuce you had discarded. "Bruce doesn't even know."

You took her hand and squeezed it, "Thank you and I'm so sorry."

She looked to you again, "It's okay. Time has helped a lot. I hope it'll help you too.", she squeezed your hand in return. "So, what can I help with?"

You asked her to take the plate of burger toppings you'd just prepared to the table set up outside and she did.

You started mixing together a pasta salad and Sebastian came in to grab buns and hot dogs for Chris. He beamed as he neared the island, "Ayyyy, Baybeeee!", he kissed your head quickly and began to gather what he came in for.

You giggled, "Hey, lover." You turned toward him and rested against the island, "You know, I was thinking..."

He turned to you holding the hot dogs, the bag of buns hanging in the grasp of the same hand. His eyebrows pulled up expectantly.

"If you get me pregnant without being married to me, won't your mother throttle you?", you looked at him smugly.

He laughed and pulled you to him with his free hand, kissing your lips, "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Right now, let's just work on getting to that gentle love making we talked about." He waggled his eyebrows and squeezed your ass, planting a hard kiss on your lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awww, baby feels.
> 
> Let me know what you think and thanks for the comments and kudos!
> 
> Much love!
> 
> xoxo


	37. Coiled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Refresher:
> 
> He turned to you holding the hot dogs, the bag of buns hanging in the grasp of the same hand. His eyebrows pulled up expectantly.
> 
> "If you get me pregnant without being married to me, won't your mother throttle you?", you looked at him smugly.
> 
> He laughed and pulled you to him with his free hand, kissing your lips, "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Right now, let's just work on getting to that gentle love making we talked about." He waggled his eyebrows and squeezed your ass, planting a hard kiss on your lips.

Everyone was outside just about ready to eat, prepping their plates with buns. Chris started putting cooked burgers and dogs on a platter when you all heard a booming voice from the direction of the driveway.

"HIYO!"

It was Sam. He had rounded the corner of the house holding a small covered bowl...

...And Maria's hand as she walked in tow with a grocery bag in her other hand. Some looked surprised and some smiled. Sebastian approached him, looked at the bowl and took it as Sam offered it his way, "Oh, thanks, dude." Sebastian gave him a 'bro-hug'; clasping hands with knuckles upwards and then leaning into each other. Sam gave Sebastian a couple smacks on the back.

The three of them headed to the food table as Sam spoke, "Maria made that; best dip you'll ever eat. Awwww, man.", his eyebrows shot up as he pointed, "None-a that packet shit either, she made it from scratch."

Sebastian chuckled and nodded as he set the bowl down, "Awesome." Sam moved on to greet everyone else. Maria put the grocery bag with two kinds of chips on the table. She offered Sebastian a hug, which he accepted as he asked, "How are ya, Maria?"

She smiled as she pulled back, "Pretty good, thanks." Her face got a bit more serious, "How are you doing?"

He shoved his hands in his pockets, cocked his head for a second and sighed, "We're doing as well as can be expected." He turned his upper body and looked in your direction across the yard to find you being affectionately assaulted by Sam, who was tilting you dramatically, side to side in a laughter filled hug. "Sam!" He shuffled his feet, turning a bit more, then shouted, "She's still healing and if you hurt her,", he pointed, his brows furrowed, "I'm gonna kick your fuckin' ass!"

Chris's head snapped to look as Seb yelled and when he spotted Sam, he shook his head.

Sam put up his hands in surrender, an expression of mock surprise on his face.

Sebastian turned back to her, apologizing, "Sorry. I have to keep an eye on her because of her apparent love of booze, her best friend who loves to help her get shitfaced and yahoos like your new boyfriend.", he sighed and then chuckled.

She laughed softly, "It's okay. How are _you_ doing, Seb?"

He sighed and nodded again, "Okay, I think. Still have hard moments often. But, I'm doing okay. I worry about her like crazy though. Not only her physical healing, but emotionally too."

She assured him, "You both have a really strong support system and you guys are going to counseling, right?"

Sebastian nodded.

"Plus, she's stronger than she looks, Seb.", she stated.

Sebastian looked over his shoulder again, watching you laugh at something Sam said and he smiled at being able to see you in such an overly happy moment. There had been a sore lacking of those for a week. He loved you so much that it made him ache and he just wanted to give you the world. But, since he couldn't do that, he would give you something that would mean the world to both of you; a baby. "She really is.", he agreed, turning back to Maria.

"I think you'll both be fine." She placed a hand on his arm, "You make each other really happy and you take such good care of her. She'll be fine."

Sebastian smiled slightly and nodded.

Sam settled his demeanor, putting his hands in his pockets, "How you been doin', baby?", he beamed at you.

You loved how Sam talked, it was amusing and adorable. He was so dramatic, boisterous, funny and the way he called everyone 'baby' reminded your of a sweet old lady from the South.

You smiled slightly, "I'm doing pretty okay. Thanks, Sam."

He nodded happily, "Hey, if you guys need anything, you let Maria or I know, okay?"

"I will. Thank you.", you smiled.

He then sounded a little nervous, "Hey, so I wanted to make Maria a really nice dinner soon and I know you're pretty good with food... Can you give me some advice? Something easy, but really good and impressive?"

You smiled, "That's so sweet, Sam. Yeah, let's go get some burgers and we'll talk."

After eating, you went inside to grab the Bacardi as Sebastian followed you in to grab another garbage bag for the can outside.

"What on earth was going on for Sam to hug you that way anyhow?", he chortled, opening the small pantry cupboard at the end of the counter.

You chuckled, "He asked if I made my sugar cookie bars and when I said yes he couldn't contain himself." You grabbed the clear bottle and paused, thinking.

Sebastian had made it just past the island, noticed your hesitation and asked, "Something wrong, darlin'?"

You clicked your tongue loudly, causing it to sound a bit like a pop as well. You whirled around, set the bottle on the counter, opened the fridge, bent over and starting rifling through it, "Do we have mint, lime and soda water?

Sebastian's eyes went straight to your ass and he licked his lips quickly. He set the bag on the island and rounded it with haste as he spoke, "We always have limes, baby."

"Oh, right. Here they are.", you said, grabbing one when you spotted a couple on the bottom shelf. You felt Sebastian grab your hip gently and press himself against one side of your ass. He gripped you firmly with his other hand, where your cheek and thigh met on the other side. You let out a sound that was half gasp, half squeak as you jerked slightly.

He chuckled low and short at your reaction as you straightened and turned, lime in hand. His eyes were fierce as he took your face in his hands and kissed you with urgency. You let the lime drop to the floor, it's momentum rolling it across the kitchen to the wall. Your arms went around his waist as you hummed quietly. His pace was fast and rough, he paused to moan against your mouth before continuing his onslaught again.

You then gripped his shoulders near either side of his neck while he hunched over, leaning you back slightly to get two good handfuls of your ass, giving it a rough squeeze. His arms then wrapped tightly around your back as his mouth found your neck, giving you a little bite, which incited a gasp from you. Feeling himself get too worked up, he moved to rest his forehead against yours, the both of you panting slightly as he spoke, his voice low and gravelly, "God, I fuckin' need you tonight, doll."

"Well, then you'll have me.", you whipsered, echoing what he said that night the two of you first had sex.

He furrowed his brows and let out a restrained groan, his mouth crashed into yours and he was grabbing at your ass again.

"She's still healing, man.", Sam smirked as he entered the sunroom from outside.

You broke the kiss and turned your head, caught off guard. Your eyes followed Sam, your cheeks flushing in embarrassment.

Sebastian's forehead rested against your temple, his eyes open as he pressed his hands lightly against your upper back; he was still focused intently on you. He nuzzled your ear through your hair for a beat before his jaw clenched and he turned his head to Sam, who was smirking and heading for the bathroom.

Sebastian's face was hardened in a frighteningly intimidating scowl, "Fuck off, Wilson.", he actually sounded pretty pissed.

Sam just laughed as he shut the door.

You looked at him a little wide eyed and chuckled quietly, "That was a little harsh, don't ya think, dear?"

His face softened when he looked at you, desperation in his eyes. He sighed and shook his head slowly, his voice low, "You have no idea how badly I need you, baby. And now that you've told me that I can have you tonight? I'm so damn ramped up."

"You sure you can be gentle with me?", you chortled.

"Yes, baby doll... And I promise I will.", he kissed your lips and then your nose. "Let's go get the rest of the stuff you need for your drink.", he released you to go get his keys.

"Drink?", you scoffed. "Singular?"

"Yep!", he took your hand and headed for the door. "There's no way I'm gonna risk you getting past buzzed in your condition. Plus, I don't need you nodding off while I make love to you later.", he winked over his shoulder, which made you smile and bite your lip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize my pace has slowed, hope you don't mind. Stick around though, it's gonna pick up again soon!
> 
> Thanks for comments and kudos!
> 
> xoxo


	38. Long Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any typos or things that don't make sense; loooooong chapter, wanted to get it posted tonight. Will edit tomorrow.
> 
>  
> 
> **SONG: Like A Stone by Audioslave**
> 
>  
> 
> REFRESHER:
> 
> "You sure you can be gentle with me?", you chortled.
> 
> "Yes, baby doll... And I promise I will.", he kissed your lips and then your nose. "Let's go get the rest of the stuff you need for your drink.", he released you to go get his keys.
> 
> "Drink?", you scoffed. "Singular?"
> 
> "Yep!", he took your hand and headed for the door. "There's no way I'm gonna risk you getting past buzzed in your condition. Plus, I don't need you nodding off while I make love to you later.", he winked over his shoulder, which made you smile and bite your lip.

Sebastian held your hand on his thigh as he drove to the store. You looked at him mischievously as he drove, his eyes on the road.

"I can see you eyeing me like a juicy steak, you know." he removed his hand to assist in his driving.

You moved swiftly to lightly graze his crotch in an upward motion with your fingertips, "Uh-huh.", you smirked.

He jumped a little, "Ugh! Jesus, baby, I'm tryin' to drive." You rested your hand on his thigh again and he turned his head to look at you for a beat, smiling, which rewarded him with a warm smile from you as he continued, "Guess I'm not the only who needs it like crazy."

You chuckled, "That... would be correct." You gave his leg a gentle squeeze and he took your hand again.

"So, uh, my parents wanna come spend some time with us. They would stay in a hotel, but they want to come visit."

"Oh?", you said a little apprehensive. "Do they know about us?"

He chuckled, turning a corner, "Of course."

You looked down at your lap and then your eyes went to him again while you asked quietly, "Do they know about the pregnancy?"

His jaw clenched as he pressed his lips together and glanced at you when he answered, "Yeah." He looked back to the road and stroked your hand with his thumb, "That's actually why they want to come see us. They wanna be here to show their support... At a closer distance... So they can try to make us happy with food and hugging us and junk." He chuckled, which drew a half smile from you.

You were so nervous. You only met them once and they were nice enough, but from what you knew and gathered of them from Seb, especially his mom, that they would frown upon the way that your relationship was and maybe could be in the future. You didn't know if Sebastian wanted to marry you. He's never mentioned anything about it. You didn't know exactly how you felt about it yet either. You hadn't been together very long, not even two months yet. You knew that you both wanted a baby; finding out you were having one and losing it in the same few moments made you both ache for it now. Neither of you even had a chance to feel the joy, before being assaulted by pain and loss. But, he had said 'when we're ready'. That could be in a month, it could be years from now. Neither of you knew when; it was really too early to think about when. You just knew you wanted it... With each other, someday.

Though, they knew what had happened now... And they still wanted to come see you... Both of you. Sebastian did say 'they want to come see _us_.' Should be okay, right?

"Seb, I'm nervous."

His brows pulled together, "About what, doll?" He glanced at you for a second again.

"I know that they're coming to show support, but somewhere inside me is afraid they aren't really going to be okay with how our relationship is now and maybe even what it might be later.", you bit your lip anxiously as he parked the car.

He pulled his knee up across the seat, turning his body to you and holding your hand in both his. "Look, (Y/N),", he dipped his head and looked at you reassuringly, "If they have a problem with anything between you and I, that's their problem, not ours and especially not yours. And I would always stand up for us, and you, against them if I had to... Any day. But, honestly, if they aren't okay with it already, I think they will be... After seeing us together and how much we take care of and love each other. They aren't that uptight, really. Plus, I'm pretty good at helping my mother see my side of things; being her baby boy and only child.", he winked.

You breathed a small laugh through your nose, giving him a closed mouth smile. You nodded, "Okay. I trust you. I'll relax."

He grinned, "That's my girl." He put a hand at the back of your neck and pulled you to him as he leaned in and kissed your forehead.

Once the last of the barbecue guests had filed out the door, you made yourself a cup of tea while the guys finished cleaning up; you had done all the food prep that day after all, less Chris cooking on the grill.

You sauntered out onto the low back deck and took a seat at the edge of the wood planks, one bare foot pulled up, knee bent up to your chest, the other foot planted on the grass. Having your bare feet touching earth helped you feel level, balanced and grounded again. You did it as much as you could since having your panic attacks. You sipped your warm tea, cupping the mug with both hands. The weather was starting to get a touch cooler in the evenings, so you had put on an oversized cardigan over your fitted tee and shorts.

In the kitchen, Sebastian was rinsing dishes as Chris loaded them into the dishwasher. "You doing okay, bro?", Chris asked, sliding out the bottom rack and placing a mixing bowl in it.

Sebastian nodded, his gaze on his work rinsing, "Yeah. I think so."

"Hey, I know you're probably more worried about her than yourself, Seb.", he gave him a sympathetic expression as he dropped some utensils in the dishwasher basket.

Sebastian pressed his lips together and paused his actions, looking to Chris. He sighed, "I really am. She seems like she's doing better, I just hope she's not pretending for my sake."

"Me too, bro. Me too. But, I'm pretty sure you know her well enough that you could tell if she was."

Sebastian hitched his mouth to one side, "See, that's the thing. I'm not sure I could tell. I'm dealing with my own shit about it and I wonder if that might be getting in the way of reading her, you know?"

Chris titled his head and nodded, "Maybe. But, I can kind of read her too. She seems to be on a good path of working through it now, Seb. Honestly, she'll probably never be over it completely... Maybe you won't either. But you've both got each other to help you through... And you guys are _really_ lucky that you have an awesome guy like me as a friend to be there too." They both chuckled and Chris continued, clapping a hand on Sebastian's shoulder and giving a squeeze, "Seriously though, I'm here for you both; whatever you need."

"I know, Chris. You've been a huge help and support already, thank you."

As Sebastian finished rinsing the last of the soiled dishes, he put the brush in its holder next to the sink. "You got this?", he asked.

"Yep.", Chris answered, bent over, settling platters and plates in a neat row between pegs.

Meanwhile, the sun was just starting to set and you looked up at the sky. Ribbons of whispy clouds streamed across the sky, painted blue, pink and purple by the receding light. Black silhouettes in a flock of birds floated across the sky as you heard their twittering. It made you smile... And you thought about the little one you'd never have a chance to meet. Your eyes were getting a little wet, but not enough to really tear up. You sighed. _'It just wasn't the right time.'_ , you told yourself. You were finally beginning to make peace with it. Maybe that baby that would have come to you will come another time. Just maybe. _'Until we meet again, little one.'_

Your thoughts were interrupted by Sebastian coming out the back door and strolling over to you, "Hey, darlin'."

You turned and smiled up at him as he sat beside you, "Hi, honey."

He put his arm around your neck and looked up at the sky, "Wow, that's amazing."

You looked down to see his feet were bare in the grass too. _'Maybe he needs to be grounded like me sometimes and just doesn't realize it.'_ The thought of another point of synchronicity between the two of you made you feel even more safe and secure with him. "Sure is.", you offered him a sip of your tea.

He took the cup, holding it in the palm of his hand, curling his fingers up around it, "Thank you, baby."

"Uh-huh.", you smiled softly, watching him take a sip and he handed it back to you.

He leaned his head over and touched it to yours for a brief moment before withdrawing it again, "Whatcha' thinkin' about?"

You looked at him lovingly, "That maybe the baby we were going to have just didn't make it because it wasn't the right time... And maybe they'll come back to us."

He pulled up one corner of his mouth and blinked at you slowly, "I like that. Yeah, maybe..." He pulled you closer to him and kissed your head. "You're amazing. You know that?" You smiled slightly as he continued, "You always find a positive way to deal with things. You're a lot stronger than you realize, (Y/N)."

"You're strong too, Seb. I've put you through so much... As a friend and as a boyfriend... And you're always there... Always taking care of me. Thank you."

"This wasn't anything you put me through, don't ever think that. It just happened through no fault of anyone, remember?" You nodded and he continued, "And as for anything else you think you've put me through, I chose to be there and to take care of you. It's what I always want to do.", he lifted your chin slightly and kissed your lips gently. You laid your head on his shoulder and he rested his cheek on it.

Chris was loading the last of the dishes into the dishwasher when he caught a glimpse out the windows of you and Sebastian sitting on the deck when he had kissed you and you put your head on his shoulder. He smiled a little, despite the tugging in his heart. He continued loading dishes. _'They really love each other. They're so perfect for each other.'_ But he didn't know if he could ever stop wishing that was him; kissing your beautiful lips, holding you close... Smelling your hair... He mentally shook his head.

How on _earth_ was he ever going to get rid of this feeling?! It still haunted him day and night. He didn't think about it near as much as he used to, considering he was with Sharon now. ...but it was still always there, knockin' around in the back of his mind... And deep down in his heart. Especially considering the pain you've been through recently. He wanted to hold you, to comfort you. But it would never be; you were with Seb now. Your voice snapped him back to reality and he felt a little embarrassed; like you were walking in on his thoughts and hearing them, even though he knew you hadn't.

"Hey, Chris,", you approached him, Sebastian in step behind you, "you wanna join us in the hot tub?"

He turned to you, "Oh, I gotta get to Sharon's."

"Come on.", you yanked his arm gently a couple times, urging him. "I heard you say when you'd be there and you've got an hour still."

He chuckled, lifting a corner of his mouth, "Okay,", he raised his hands in defeat, "you got me. I'll go change."

 _'Shit. Now, I've got to see her in a bathing suit again.'_ , he thought.

"Sweet.", you replied, you and Chris both heading for your respective rooms.

Sebastian headed toward the stairs, but as soon as Chris's door shut, he walked quickly, but stealthily to your room. He opened the door and then shut it gently before walking to you. You were shuffling through your dresser drawer looking for a suit, when Sebastian wrapped his arms around your middle his chin rested on your shoulder and you put your hand to the back of his head, "You need to go get changed, honey.", you said.

"In a second.", he replied as you began moving things around in the drawer again. He spotted red and white stripes and reached for it, pulling it up, "This one."

You took it in your hand, "Why this one?"

"It was the one you wore that night we were home alone all night... Watched a movie, I rubbed your shoulders and we talked in the hot tub for forever... And then you came to sleep with me.", he smiled.

He moved your hair and kissed your neck as you inquired, "You remember the suit I was wearing that night?"

"Hell yes, I do. You blew me away in that. It was damn sexy. I wanted you so bad that night. I even thought about kissing you."

"In the living room?", you turned you head in his direction.

"Mm-hm."

"I knew something was knockin' around in your head then.", you chuckled. "Okay. I'll wear this one."

"Mmm, thank you, baby.", he kissed your neck again and swept his middle finger upwards between your legs, against your shorts.

You let out a loud squeak. He covered your mouth quickly with his free hand and laughed softly, knowing how thin the walls could be in the silence. He whispered, "Shh, quiet, baby." He rubbed four fingers against you for a few more strokes as your head fell back against his shoulder and he removed his hand from your mouth to press you against him. His warm breath was on your neck as you bit your lip and panted quietly at his touch. He ghosted his lips over your skin, then he whispered, "Count down's on, doll."

He halted his motions on your center and gave your ass a good smack, which jolted you and forced a sharp breath from you. He then left with you watching him, aching down below and your mouth hanging open slightly in arousal. He winked before he shut the door behind him.

_'Damn you, Stan.'_

You changed, put your hair up and came out of your room. Chris had already gone outside to uncover the hot tub. Sebastian was leaning his backside against the island counter waiting for you. He was wearing black swim trunks, his arms and ankles crossed. Seeing all his firm muscles made you sigh and bite your lip.

When he saw you standing there, he pushed off the counter, put his hands on his hips and licked his lips, "Mm-hm. Just like I remember." He pointed his index finger downward and circled it around in a motion telling you to turn.

You lifted your heels, standing on the balls of your feet, hands on your hips and did one full turn, slowly.

He narrowed his eyes for a second and mouthed 'ooh'. He grabbed the two towels off the island he had gotten for you both and walked to you, "Except tonight I get to take it off, unlike last time." He kissed you, smirked and took your hand to lead you outside.

As you both came out the back door, Chris was already in the hot tub. You squealed loudly, "Ooh! It's chilly out here!" You hurried past Sebastian as he and Chris laughed. Chris stood to give you a hand since you would get there before Sebastian and he figured from your reactions that you really weren't going to wait to get in. As he looked up at you to take your hand, his eyes swept over your body quickly, hoping no one noticed while Seb set down the towels. It was hard not to look.

Chris's focus was then on your feet to make sure you had good footing. That's when your own gaze flicked to his build. _'God, he looks great too. Could you imagine both of them-- Stop (Y/N)! God.'_ Wow. Yeah, you really needed to get laid tonight; your hormones were running away with you.

You sat as Sebastian stepped in next to you and you smiled at Chris, "Thank you."

He lifted a corner of his mouth in a half smile, blinking slowly, "No problem, hon." He then looked to Sebastian, who started speaking.

You twitched one eye in an faint squint for a beat. _'Slow blink...'_

"It's not that cold, doll.", Sebastian sat and put an arm around your shoulders, pulling you to him, your hand coming to rest on his knee.

Chris shrugged at Sebastian, "Maybe 10 degrees?"

Sebastian nodded.

"10 degrees is enough to shiver my teetees.", you argued and both the guys threw their heads back, howling with laughter as you giggled.

The three of you talked and laughed for about half an hour. At one point, while you were talking you put your feet up on the circular bench seat, across from you, one of your feet coming to rest barely touching Chris's leg, by chance. Sebastian's eyes were on you as you spoke. You didn't think anything of the accidental contact, but Chris shifted away slightly, looked to the side and swept a finger under his nose quickly. Why is he acting so weird?

Chris's mind wandered from the conversation for a moment as he watched you and Sebastian talk, _'Bad enough that I'm sitting in a hot tub half naked with her... And her boyfriend; my best friend. And now she's touching my leg?'_

"I think I'm cooked.", you said.

"Oh boy, okay.", Sebastian said, standing. He was one step closer to being in bed with you. "I'll get your towel, baby doll." He stepped out, grabbed your towel and came to the tub again as you stood and he took your hand, helping you out. He wrapped the big towel around your shoulders and rubbed your arms a few times and kissed your forehead, then reached for his own towel.

Chris was also getting out, got his own towel and started to dry off as you and Sebastian did the same. You had opened you towel, your back to Chris, and started rubbing the towel back and forth across your back while moving it downward. You and Sebastian were talking when Chris's gaze fell on your skin exposed by the low cut back of your suit. He remembered how soft it was when he touched it that day at the park. He imagined sweeping over it lightly with his fingertips, then his lips... and as if he actually had, he saw your delicate skin break out in a wave of goosebumps from the chill of the evening. He took a deep breath.

"Heading to Sharon's now?", you turned and asked him, wrapping your towel around your chest.

"Yeah.", he answered, wrapping his own towel around his waist and following you and Sebastian inside as he thought to himself, _'You gotta stop this, Chris. You're gonna drive yourself fuckin' insane. You have a girlfriend that you really care about and she's wonderful. It's never gonna happen with (Y/N). Let it go...'_

You and Sebastian hung out in the kitchen and talked with Chris as he changed in his room and packed a bag to stay at Sharon's. You all said goodnight and Chris left.

As soon as the door shut, Sebastian's gaze went slowly to you, the corners of his mouth pulled up ever so slightly. His eyes were dark and filled with lust and you could feel yourself swell down below in excitement. He could turn you on like a light switch with that look alone.

He wanted to just grab you up, slam you up against the kitchen wall and fuck you until you were sobbing for mercy. He was without you for far too long. He closed the distance between you and rested a hand on your the small of your back, pressing you to him, your hands splayed on his biceps. You could feel against your belly that he was already rock hard. You swallowed harshly and let out a long breath, your lips parted slightly. He put a finger under your chin, tilting it up to give your mouth a passionate, but deliberate kiss, caressing your tongue firmly with his own as he now rested a hand against your jaw and neck. You hummed quietly and he pulled back, putting his forehead to yours. Both your eyes were still closed as he whispered, "I'm coming home, baby."

You felt butterflies in your stomach and also felt yourself getting wet at his words. How could something so sweet also be so damn sexy? He swiftly scooped you up and headed for the basement.

"Um, honey? My room is closer.", you mentioned as he started his descent.

"I know, doll. But, you really shouldn't get pregnant yet. So, on top of your pill, we should also use condoms, which are in my room. Bought them the night we got home."

You sighed, "Good idea.", you kissed his neck softly as he reached the bottom of the stairs. He hummed and kissed you tenderly until he reached the bed. He set you down gently to stand, removed both your towels and set them on the bottom corner of his bed. The only light coming into the room was the faint glow of the bathroom light next to his room that he left on earlier. It's illumination bounced off the family room walls, barely making it into his room.

He reminded himself to pace himself, to not be hurried; he was aching like mad to be inside you. He kissed your lips softly and then your neck while he pulled one of your suit straps down your shoulder slowly. His knuckles grazed your arm as his lips and tongue teased your shoulder. You sighed and his touch glided down your arm to take your hand. He brought it to his mouth and kissed your soft knuckles gently, then turned your palm upwards, kissing it lovingly. He was making you feel like something to be treasured, savored, and it made you want him more.

He pulled both the straps of your suit off your arms, pushing the bunching fabric down over your hips and thighs, letting gravity do the rest. He licked his lips and looked into your eyes long and hard, his hands lightly on either side of your waist his thumbs stroking over your skin. You were completely naked, but in your eyes is what he wanted to see right now. Both of your chests were heaving slightly in anticipation. You reached over and worked your fingers into the waistband of his swim trunks and followed the same actions he had for you. He pressed against you again. You could feel just how excited he was by the small spot of wetness that was now slick on your skin.

He kissed your mouth hungrily as he guided you down onto the bed with a hand at your back, your arms around his neck. You scooted up to lay on the pillows. He hovered over you and helped to move you, his lips keeping contact with yours as he did. He then trailed soft open mouthed kisses down your body, each one punctuated by a small, soft stroke with his tongue against your warm skin. You moaned so softly as you felt your inner walls swell even more in anticipation to have him inside you while you absorbed all the delicious senstations his mouth afforded you. Your neck, shoulder, collarbone... All relaxing under his loving touch as his splayed hand stroked firmly from your ribcage downward as your breath hitched and you sighed.

The two of you were unusually quiet; taking in every touch, every sigh, each soft hum. These moments were deeper than anything you both had shared before and it was slowly escalating. You felt drunk on the way he was loving you now. Your hand found his head and rested on it gently while he kissed your stomach. His hands cradled your hips, almost underneath you as he was now kneeling between your legs. When he reached your lower belly, he nuzzled his nose lightly against it and pressed his lips there slow, soft and long. His lips withdrew, his forehead rested against you and he let out a sharp sigh. It sounded like like sadness, not passion.

"Seb?", you asked just above a whisper, your free hand went to his hand on your hip. "You okay?"

He turned his head, still resting on you as he quietly answered, "Yeah, baby. I'm okay."

 _'Just finally saying goodbye to our baby.'_ , he thought.

You felt a very small bit of wetness against your skin where he lay his head and you realized he was silently crying. You closed your eyes and whispered, stroking his hair, "It's okay, honey."

He stayed there a few moments to gather himself and then came back up to hover over you, kissing you affectionately, his hand cupping your jaw and his thumb stroking your cheek. He then whispered, "I love you so much, (Y/N). You're my world. I just wanna get lost in you.", he kissed your neck.

"I love you too, Sebastian, with everything I have.", you sighed. "And please, get lost in me. I'm nearly dying for it now.", you chortled quietly.

He huffed out a small chuckle, "Yes ma'am." He moved down you again, dragging his tongue down your body and flicking a nipple with it on the way down, pulling a squeak from you. Strands of his hair teased and tickled you as he moved down. Once he was between your legs, your knees bent, he settled himself on his stomach and went to work on your inner thigh with his lips and tongue, close to your center while his fingertips caressed the outsides of your legs.

Your breath was quickening gradually. He grazed your skin with his teeth in a biting motion and you let out a soft 'ah'. You could feel him smiling against you. When he switched to your other thigh, you felt his hot breath sweep over where you were rapidly getting wet and it made your eyes close and your mouth drop open. As he continued teasing, you whispered, "Sebastian, please, baby. I need it." You rolled your hips slowly, desperate to feel his soft tongue against your warmth.

He hummed and answered your request by spreading your folds with two fingers and licking with the tip of his tongue from bottom to top, agonizingly slow. You sighed deeply. He took his time savoring the taste of you, then planted his mouth on that aching bundle of nerves. He licked over it in lazy circles with his amazingly talented tongue as he moaned against you softly.

It didn't take long for you to start rocking your hips against him, your breath becoming more labored and your moans becoming more intense.

He then inserted two fingers in you, taking his time and pulling a long, low moan from you. He began drawing them in and out slowly as he continued a matching pace on your clit, which he then exposed more by wrapping his arm around your thigh and pulling back on the skin just above where his mouth was with his fingertips. You let out a jagged noise and began to tremble. He was still making the same movements along with the same slow pace, but he could now get to all those sensitive spots on that little button. His fingers were curling inside you, beckoning you closer to bliss.

"Oh, Jesus, Seb.", you groaned out and bit your lip. "Uhn, yes, baby."

He hummed against you and continued as he was. Soon you felt that heat rising up deep inside you, tightening, "You're gonna make me come, baby".

He growled deeply. You got really quiet for a moment, squeezing your eyes shut and taking a handful of his hair in your fist, still rocking against him. The tightness climbed higher and then exploded within you, causing you to cry out.

Sebastian gripped your thigh tight with his muscular arm, coaxing you through your orgasm with the same soft, crawling pace.

You were quivering and panting as you came down from your high. He stroked your thighs and lapped at your folds lovingly with a flat tongue, not wanting to miss a single drop. You moaned as his silky, gentle tongue took you all in.

He pulled away from you, giving your thigh a quick, sloppy kiss before wiping his face with one of the towels on the bed. He threw it to the floor and moved upwards to you, kissing you hard and passionately, humming into your mouth. "I missed tasting you, doll."

You bit your lip and smiled up at him. He leaned over to the side of the bed and got into his nightstand drawer to pull out a condom. You took his hard length in your hand and stroked him a couple times. He let out a short groan and pushed your hand away as he sat back on his knees, opening the small package and spoke as he put the condom on, "Sorry, baby, but I'm already too close. I don't want to take away from any of the time being inside you before I lose it."

You bit your lip again, "Kay."

He lowered himself over you, supporting his weight completely on his elbows and knees. He didn't want to bother your healing incisions or put too much weight on you. He wrapped an arm behind your back as your arms went around his neck and he kissed you softly. With his other hand, he guided himself to your slick entrance. He pushed in just a little and you gasped quietly into his mouth, your body relieved to feel him again. He paused and moaned, his lips still touching yours, "God, I thought I was worked up the first time..." You both chuckled quietly. He knew what you felt like now though, what you're little sounds did to him... And he had waited for that much longer than he had cared to. Of course he was more worked up this time.

He pushed the rest of the way in slowly, letting out a long deep groan. You could feel him pulsing and twitching inside you. You tried to pull the rest of his body to you, "Honey, relax.", you ordered.

"I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't, just move slow."

He let the weight of his hips rest against you as you wrapped your arms around his back and he did the same to you, holding you closer. He began to move inside you, taking his time. He kissed your neck lightly and let out a quiet sigh. His voice was soft, "God, I missed you so much, baby."

You let out you a whimper at his words and his movements, "I missed you too, lover."

You moaned quietly and tilted your head back. He kissed your chin and along your jaw tenderly as he rocked in and out of you, unhurried. He then pulled his head back to look into your eyes when your head fell back to where it had been. His brows were furrowed in restraint, his eyes dark with need in the dim light. Your expression mirrored his and you bit your lip. He bent down to kiss your forehead and then sat back on his heels and pulled you downward to him on the bed, your legs falling open.

He stroked his thumbs over your inner thighs as he bit his lip and watched himself glide out of you, then disappear inside you again to feel your tight warmth. You reached down to rub cirlces on your clit with three fingers and his gaze flitted to your face as he licked his lips. Your eyes and face were soft, your mouth hanging open, panting at him filling you and at your own touch. He groaned at the sight and looked between the two of you again. "Mmm, I love to watch you touch yourself, doll." He felt you start to tighten around him and was fighting the urge to pump into you faster.

He leaned forward over you again. He pinned each of your hands slightly over your head, interlacing his fingers with yours and he continued to move in and out of you with long, languid strokes. You whined when he pulled your hand away from the pleasure you were giving yourself. He whispered against your ear, "I'm not done loving you yet, baby. And if you make yourself come on my cock, I'll lose it for sure." He kissed you soft and slow while you mewled quietly against his mouth, making him groan.

He then wrapped an arm around your back and sat back cross-legged, holding you close. You wrapped your legs around his hips, your arms around his shoulders and neck. He looked up at you as you started rolling your hips up and down on him. You kissed him passionately and increased the pace of your hips slightly. He moaned into your mouth. You broke the kiss and let your head fall back, whimpering. He kissed you neck as you started rolling your hips in different patterns. He held you on either side of your waist, splaying his fingers out as wide as he could to feel all the muscles in your abdomen and back working to please him. His lips were paused against your neck as he sighed and spoke low, "God bless belly dancing. I knew it would be put to good use if I ever got my hands on you."

You chuckled mischievously and hummed, "Mmm, you like that?"

His head was resting against the crook of your neck now, both of you pressed against each other tight, "God, yes... Ungh."

You quickened your pace once again, rocking up and down on him and he gasped. You were rubbing him against you in just the right spot inside causing your moans to come quicker and louder, you were getting close. He was holding you tightly in his arms now, trying to stave off his own orgasm at your tightening. He reached down over your ass to spread you further, opening you to him more. You let out a loud whimper at being able to take him in deeper. He was grunting, then looked into your eyes and growled, "Get there, baby doll. Come for me."

His words and the way he looked at you gave you the push you needed. You grabbed his face and kissed him hard before you threw your head back, your hands gripping his shoulders while you cried out in pleasure. Wave after wave of ecstasy crashed over you while you still rode him. He came as soon as you started to, your walls caving in and pulsing all around him robbed him of any control he was desperately clinging to, "Fuck, baby!" He let out a long groan against your neck and bit you just enough to cause a sliver of pain which made you yelp softly. You held each other tight as you continued to ride the both of you through it.

Once you slowed and stopped, both of you panting hard, you were trying to hold him even closer than was actually possible as you whimpered out, "Oh-ho God, Seb..."

He was kissing gently all over your arm and shoulder, "Holy shit. Maybe we should only ever have sex once a week."

You pulled back away from him, holding onto his shoulder with a scolding expression and squeezed his mouth into a fish face, "You shut your filthy mouth!" Then you kissed him hard and you both laughed.

He got up on his knees and laid you down gently, pulling out of you. He cleaned you gingerly with the towel that was still on the bed. You hummed in appreciation. He stepped onto the floor, removed the condom and dropped in his trash can, then wiped himself down as well.  He gathered up the towels and bathing suits, took a step to take them into the bathroom to hang them when he stopped, swiping at the floor with his foot, "Shit, the carpet's wet now. Didn't think that through."

You huffed out a laugh, "Whoops." You started to get up, "I'll go get another towel to soak it up, it's not that bad is it?" You felt with your foot now as Sebastian answered.

"Nah, it's not bad.", he kissed you quick and left the room.

You turned on the bedside lamp, rifled through his t-shirt drawer and pulled one on. It came to just below your ass. You went upstairs for another towel, grabbing it out of the bathroom cabinet. You then went to your room and put on a pair of underwear. You stopped in the kitchen to grab a couple waters and then opened the freezer when Sebastian came up the stairs in his pajama pants, "What's taking so long, sweets?"

You looked at him, "Oh sorry, I just needed underwear-"

He cut you off, "The hell you say!" He grabbed the towel off the island.

You laughed, "And water, aaaaand...", you pulled out a container. "Ice cream!"

His eyes lit up, "Ah. Excellent." He rounded the island to grab spoons and kiss your brilliant head.

The two of you headed downstairs and Sebastian dropped the towel on the carpet and stepped all over it to soak up the water and took it in the bathroom to hang it with everything else. Then you both watched TV in bed and finished off what had been left in the ice cream container. He turned off the bedside lamp and took the spoons and container upstairs. When he returned he had your toothpaste and toothbrush, held them up for you to see. You took them, thanked him and you both went to brush your teeth. You got back in the bed pulling the blankets over your legs. He crawled in after you as you sat and he then kissed your lips. He laid on his back with his head propped on pillows to watch the TV again. You laid on your side and rested your head and a hand on his bare stomach to watch as well as he started to draw lazy patterns with his fingers on your back and neck, occasionally playing with your hair.

"Love you, baby."

You kissed his stomach and then laid your head back down, "Love you, Sebby."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay for Reader/Sebby smut! Sorry if I smut them too much, it's just my thing.
> 
> Chris is still pining and can't control it, poor guy.
> 
> Please leave a comment and thanks for all the kudos!
> 
> Much love!
> 
> xoxo


	39. The Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is such a short chapter; wanted to get something posted tonight!
> 
>  
> 
> **Song: Mad World by Gary Jules & Michael Andrews**
> 
>  
> 
> REFRESHER:
> 
> You got back in the bed pulling the blankets over your legs. He crawled in after you as you sat and he then kissed your lips. He laid on his back with his head propped on pillows to watch the TV again. You laid on your side and rested your head and a hand on his bare stomach to watch as well as he started to draw lazy patterns with his fingers on your back and neck, occasionally playing with your hair.
> 
> "Love you, baby."
> 
> You kissed his stomach and then laid your head back down, "Love you, Sebby."

You had a dream that you were in Sebastian's bed in the middle of the night laying on your back, him asleep next to you, facing you and holding your hand closest to him between you both on the mattress. You noticed something felt different, foreign.

You then you spread both your hands over your belly. It was firm and bigger than usual. You felt a thump against your hand and it jolted you in surprise slightly. You not only felt the kick, but you could now feel the presence of your baby- yours and Sebastian's baby, in your entire being. A wave of joy consumed you as you affectionately rubbed your belly for a moment.

You heard a shuffling in the corner of the dark room. It made you jump, desperately trying to see in the dark, your eyes wide. You could start to make out against the nearly non-exsistent light coming from the window... a whispy black smoke emerging and growing from the corner where the sound came from.

Your heart started pounding as you reached over, trying to be covert, and shook Sebastian a bit. "Seb...", you whimpered softly, trying not to draw this mist's attention to you. Sebastian just groaned quietly.

It moved and expanded more swiftly now and you could tell it's path was going straight to you.

"Seb!", you squeaked out, barely above a whisper. He just groaned again.

The mist came to you in a snap now. You could feel it over you, it's weight pressing against your belly and legs. It seemed so bizarre that a mist had weight and even though it didn't have hands, it pinned your wrists to the bed.

"No... No..." You huffed out in fear, whimpering, struggling in vain. Sebastian didn't stir at all, he slept soundly next to you as you started feeling a strong pull in your belly yanking downward, towards the opening between your legs. "NO!" You felt a searing pain in your stomach and you cried out at the torturous burning, "AAAAAHHHHHAHAHAHA!!!"

You pleaded in distress, "Sebastian, please! Please, wake up!" You sobbed, panic and torment taking over as he still slept.

Then there was a violent pull which made you shout in agony. The weight was gone, the mist sucked back into the corner as you heard an infant crying. And then it was gone, everything quiet. You felt a woeful emptiness inside, your belly normal again. You growled out the most heart breaking and pitiful cry, "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Your eyes squeezed shut.

You were suddenly being touched by unseen hands and heard a low rumble of a voice that sounded like you were underwater, saying something you couldn't understand.

You started to struggle against the unwelcome touches trying to contain you. They were grabbing at your wrists, your arms, burning your skin as you used all your strength to wrench free from each grasp. Then they were wrapping around you entirely.

You flailed and kicked, then your fist came into contact with something as hard as concrete and you heard a yell, "Fuck!"

You're eyes snapped open as you still struggled in the dark. "No! No! Sebastian, help me!" You were being restrained tightly and moving was getting more and more difficult.

Sebastian's voice barked out, "(Y/N), STOP!"

Though it was a shout, which you weren't accustomed to hearing from him, you still recognized his voice and it snapped you out of the horrific yarn your mind was spinning out. You were panting heavily.

He had scrambled to kneel next to you when you started crying out so he could wake you, trying to pull you up to his chest to hold you tight and quell your thrashing.

His voice was rumbling in his chest now as he stroked your hair and cooed in the dark, "It's okay, baby. I'm here. You're safe. I've got you. You just had a bad dream.", he kissed your head and rested his cheek there. "I've got you."

You started sobbing uncontrollably, squeaking out, "Our baby. It took our baby... Right out of me." You sobbed harder against his bare skin.

He squeezed his eyes shut and sighed in tortured sympathy, "Oh, honey. I'm so sorry. Shhhh, it's okay. It was just a dream."

He held you until your crying quieted, your breath hitching every few intakes of air. He reached over and turned on the dim bedsidep lamp.

You sniffed, then spoke, "I fuckin' hate dreams like that. The ones that rip your heart out, turn you into a blubbering puddle of hurt."

"I know. I'm so sorry.", he kissed your head again. "You wanna try to go back to sleep?"

"No.", you sniffed again. "I'm too scared." You paused for a moment, recalling one detail tucked into all the chaos of your dream. You pulled your head back, your face quizzical, "I punched something. Something really hard. My hand kinda hurts."

Sebastian scoffed out a quiet laugh, "That was my jaw, baby."

You shifted up to kneel, then sat back on your feet, "Oh, honey." You cupped his jaw in your hands gingerly as he hissed at your touch, holding his own hand over yours on the side he took the hit. You winced, "Ooh. God. I'm so sorry." You moved your hands and kissed his cheek. "Now I know how you felt when you elbowed me."

"Right?!", his eyebrows up, wrinkling his forehead. He then took both your hands in his, stroking your knuckles with his thumbs, "It's okay, baby." He opened his jaw and rolled it around a bit, trying to relieve some of the throbbing. "You've got a mean right hook, miss." He kissed your aching knuckles lightly. "Proud of you."

You cringed, "I'm so sorry, honey."

He chortled, "It's really okay, doll. You were terrified." He gently pulled you closer with a hand at the back of your neck to kiss your forehead. "Now let's go get us both some ice."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!
> 
> Thanks for comments and kudos; they spur me on!
> 
> You guys rock!
> 
> xoxo


	40. Citadel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> "Right?!", his eyebrows up, wrinkling his forehead. He then took both your hands in his, stroking your knuckles with his thumbs, "It's okay, baby." He opened his jaw and rolled it around a bit, trying to relieve some of the throbbing. "You've got a mean right hook, miss." He kissed your aching knuckles lightly. "Proud of you."
> 
> You cringed, "I'm so sorry, honey."
> 
> He chortled, "It's really okay, doll. You were terrified." He gently pulled you closer with a hand at the back of your neck to kiss your forehead. "Now let's go get us both some ice."

Sebastian led you upstairs by the hand a flicked on the kitchen light. You stood at the island as he gathered a couple plastic baggies and dishtowels from a drawer. He opened the freezer and started to fill a baggie with ice.

You noticed a slight burning sensation around your wrists. Now in the brighter light of the kitchen, you could see the redness in the skin circling them. You were trying to connect the dots to explain how they got there when you spoke absentmindedly, "Seb?"

He turned his head, pulling a handful of ice out and placing it in the baggie he held in the other. You held up your wrists, with a concerned and inquisitive look.

His eyes got wide, his eyebrows shot up as he moved quickly to you, "Oh, Jesus. I didn't realize I was holding you so tightly." Guilt washed over him. He took your hands, turning them over to examine your wrists. He then kissed your wrists gingerly and gathered you in his arms snuggly. "I'm so sorry, baby."

"I think it was mostly my fault.", you reflected. "I remember twisting and yanking with everything I had before I realized it was you that had me."

"No, it's not your fault, (Y/N). I was trying to wake you and then you freaked out, trying to get away. I thought you might hurt yourself against the wall right next to the bed. I mean, it's concrete." He was still hugging you, rubbing your back. "God dammit. Even when I'm trying to protect you, I'm hurting you.", his voice frustrated while he held your head to his chest with a hand and stroked your hair back and forth with his thumb.

"It's okay, honey.", you wrapped your arms around his middle. "A couple very, very mild friction burns are better than a concussion, right? Besides, they should fade fast."

He sighed, "I suppose." He pulled back to look you over a little, "Anything else?"

You shook your head, "No. I don't think so."

The next morning, you and Sebastian were sitting at the table after breakfast, drinking coffee when Chris came home. He came into the kitchen just as you were getting up to get more coffee.

"Hey, Chris.", you beamed. You stayed where you were next to the table, near Sebastian. You stretched your arms upward over your head, showing your jammie shorts a little and Sebastian licked his lips and gave your outer thigh an affectionate stroke with his hand. The sleeves of his t-shirt that you were wearing fell down to your shoulders as you stretched, exposing your upper arms. When you dropped your arms, you looked over your shoulder at him and smiled lovingly.  He winked.

Chris glanced at you as you stretched and he put his keys on their hook, "Morning, hon." He did a double take when something caught his eye. He made his way over to you, his brows furrowed as Sebastian was taking a drink of his coffee, still seated and looking at something on his phone.

You only took a couple steps before Chris made it to you. He gently took your elbow and lifted the sleeve again. His actions confused Sebastian, so he stood to see what Chris was doing. Chris sounded upset when he spoke, "What the fuck is this?"

He exposed faint bruises that resembled a hand on your arm; a hand that had gripped entirely too tight. He looked at Sebastian, angry now, "Did you do this?"

Sebastian caught a glimpse of the bruises as Chris questioned him. Sebastian sighed, his eyebrows pulled together in regret as he quietly said, "Oh, shit."

You were also surprised at Chris's discovery.

Chris mistook Sebastian's words of guilt for hurting you when he never meant to as guilt for being caught intentionally hurting you. Chris took one step closer to Sebastian and punched him in the face.

You shrieked, "Chris!"

Sebastian stumbled into the table, moving it slightly as he fell back on it, his upper body landing against the table top with his elbow propping him up. The force was enough to slide his empty coffee cup and phone to the floor, the cup shattering and the chair opposite where Sebastian was had tipped and slammed to the floor. He felt something wet on his lips and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand; blood. He looked pissed and bewildered, "What the fuck, Chris?!"

You were standing in front of Chris now, your hands on his chest, desperately trying to push him backwards. There was no way you could move him, but he absentmindedly let your movements guide him back a couple steps. Your voice was shrill, "Chris! Stop!"

It was like he didn't even hear or see you though. All he saw was the anger he was feeling toward Sebastian for hurting you as he started to shout, pointing, "I understand the elbow to the face was and accident, but what I just found could be no where near fucking okay!"

Sebastian had stood upright, still looking pissed. He glanced at you. He could see how upset you were already and knew that him retaliating, whether with words or fists, would only upset you more. So, he let his friend get out all the words he was spitting like poison.

Chris went to step around you, "I thought I fucking knew you!"

Before he could move more than a shuffle, you wrapped your arms tightly around his ribs, your cheek against his chest, sobbing. "Chris! Stop!" He paused, hearing you crying now, your voice small and pleading, "Please."

He was clenching his jaw, still staring at Sebastain.

Sebastain was focused intently on only you, his face pained. He really wasn't even sure if Chris would let him come near you right now. So, he stayed. He pressed his lips together hard in restraint, but his want to go to you, to hold you and comfort you was excruciating. And knowing that his actions of trying to keep you safe and accidentally bruising you caused all of this? The guilt was overwhelming. He was starting to tear up.

Chris's arms went around you as he focused his attention on you now. His cheek came to rest on your head while he wrapped his arms around you protectively as Sebastian looked on.

You caught Chris off guard by shoving him hard, making him stumble back a step. You yelled at him, your eyes glistening with tears and your voice thick from crying, "What the fuck has gotten into you?!"

He looked surprised, confused and hurt, "(Y/N), he hurt you!" His thoughts flowed through his mind, right behind his spoken words, _'I have to protect you; I love you.'_

"You didn't even give either of us a chance to explain!", you snapped back.

He was getting upset again at you defending someone hurting you, "No matter how that happened,", he gestured an open hand at Sebastian, who still didn't dare get in the middle of this for your sake, but he walked closer to stand behind you. Chris continued, "it's not okay."

You sighed and closed your eyes for a beat to level yourself. You sniffed, your voice calmer but more dominant than his now, "Chris, you _do_ know Seb; he would never hurt me on purpose... And he would never touch me in anger." You stared into his eyes as he only did the same to you. You spoke softly, "Sit down." As he moved to the table behind you, still looking irritated, your gaze went to the floor beside you, your own jaw clenched. You didn't move until you heard him pick up the chair that had been knocked over, in order to sit.

You turned to Sebastian slightly and took his hand, leading him to the narrow space between the island and the rest of the kitchen. You shifted to look into his eyes, your face worried, "You okay, lover?"

He nodded, his face hardened, guilt stealing any other expression from his face. You set to work to get him some ice and a clean cloth to clean his mouth and chin. You took a deep breath and glanced at Chris, disappointed. He was still looking pissed, but looked at the floor when your eyes met his.

As you started to gently wipe Sebastian's face, his hands went to your waist, his eyes roaming over your face lovingly. He blinked long, letting out a very soft sigh.

Chris was watching the exchange. Seeing the two of you share such an intimate, loving moment, he started to consider that maybe he fucked up. But, he would rather fuck up and have you mad at him than not protect you. He had to; he loved you. He told you he would always take care of you.

Once Sebastian's face was free of blood, you gingerly gave his lips a kiss, which he cautiously returned. You rinsed the cloth and squeezed it out, but leaving it in one of the sink basins to be washed later. You put ice in a bag and towel, then touched it lightly to his face as he grunted softly.

"Poor baby,", you looked where you were placing the ice, being as careful as you could, "you've been punched in nearly the same spot twice in less than 12 hours." You gave an empathetic half smile. Chris was confused by your statement. His curiousity was piqued, but he didn't say anything yet.

"It's okay, doll.", Sebastian mumbled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think.
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> xoxo


	41. Lay It Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter, sorry. I'm not writing damn near all day like I used to and I really prefer to post everyday. Lol
> 
> Refresher:
> 
> "Poor baby,", you looked where you were placing the ice, being as careful as you could, "you've been punched in nearly the same spot twice in less than 12 hours." You gave an empathetic half smile. Chris was confused by your statement. His curiousity was piqued, but he didn't say anything yet.
> 
> "It's okay, doll.", Sebastian mumbled.

You and Sebastian headed for the table. Chris stood, "Wait. Let me clean up the cup." Both you and Sebastian were barefoot and he didn't want either of you getting shards in your feet. He was beginning to feel like he had overreacted... And was starting to feel a bit like an ass.

He swept up the broken pieces while you and Sebastian waited silently by the island. Sebastian was holding you close from behind now, thinking about how he would've popped his friend right back if he could have been sure it wouldn't have upset you more... But, you were his priority.

He and Chris had their fair share of scuffles over their entire friendship. Not too many, but enough. Most of them were earlier on, in their teens and early twenties when their hormones were running rampant.

Once Chris finished cleaning up, he moved the table to it's proper place and you all sat in your respective usual seats around the small round table; you in the middle, Sebastian to your left and Chris to your right.

You looked to Chris and sighed heavily, your lips pressed together. He was making solid eye contact, but you could see a hint of regret in his eyes as he spoke quietly, "So what happened?"

You took a quick breath, "I had a really upsetting dream about being pregnant and something- a black mist, taking our baby right out of me and sucking it into nothingness." You felt the tears coming.

Chris's brows pulled together in sympathy, as he continued to listen.

You looked at Sebastian for a beat, feeling bothered by talking about it once more and he took your hand on the tabletop before you addressed Chris again, tears rolling down your cheeks when you blinked, "It was painful... Heartbreaking... And terrifying. I called out in my sleep and he tried to wake me, but I struggled and fought him, dreaming that I was being attacked by something I couldn't see. I didn't know it was him. He was trying to pull me to him, afraid I'd hurt myself on the concrete wall." You huffed out a pitiful attempt at a chuckle while tears started falling down your face, "I fought against him with all the strength I had, so he had to grip and hold me tighter."

You searched his eyes; nothing but sadness now.

"He didn't mean to hurt me, Chris. It only happened because he was trying to prevent me from hurting myself. Things could be worse if he hadn't done what he did.", you looked at him blankly.

Chris swallowed hard, "I'm so sorry, (Y/N)..." He looked his friend in the eye, "Seb."

Sebastian nodded, "I get it, man. You did exactly what you should have done if I were to...", he closed his eyes for a long beat. He didn't even want to think about it, let alone say it, "abuse her." He brushed his thumbs over your hand, which he was still holding, "Thank you for protecting her." He glanced at you, still feeling guilt for this whole situation, then his eyes were on Chris again, "I just wished you had let us say something, anything, before you decked me."

"I know,", Chris started, shaking his head, "I just... you know I have no tolerance for that kind of stuff and there didn't seem to be a good reason for that to happen by accident. I snapped. I'm sorry."

Sebastian nodded again and got up to offer Chris a hug, which he accepted. Chris looked down at you from where you he was standing. You gave him a tight lipped smile. Chris looked at Sebastian standing behind your chair. As if they were speaking through a telepathic bond, Sebastian tilted his head a touch and nodded slightly.

Chris reached down and took your hand from the table, pulling you up to stand. He took your face gently in his hands, his eyes searching your face for a moment. You were caught a bit off guard, you felt nervous, your heart was beating a degree faster. He was acting more forward and why was Sebastian just standing there... Watching? You started blinking more quickly, your eyes barely closing before snapping open again each time. His gaze was burning through you. After what seemed like an eternity, he finally spoke.

"I'm so sorry that I upset you, (Y/N). And that you had that dream. And for punching Seb, making you cry. I just could never live with myself if someone hurt you and I did nothing about it." He pulled you closer and wrapped his arms around your shoulders, giving you a surrounding hug as he kissed your head.

You let out a breath your didn't realize you were holding, "Thank you, Chris." Then you thought to yourself, _'Holy shit, I thought he was gonna kiss me.'_

Chris was also thinking to himself, _'God, I really wanted to kiss her. I probably would have been the one getting punched now if I had.'_

He pulled back, his hands lightly on your arms, just below the shoulder, "So, uh, someone punched Seb before I did?" His forehead wrinkled up in curiosity.

"Oh.", you looked apologetically at Sebastian, who tilted his head and puckered his lips.

"She punched me... While she was dreaming and I was trying to wake her. Maybe we don't have to worry about anyone hurting her after all. If she can land a punch and make it count, in her sleep?" He turned his head slightly and breathed out, "Whoo."

Chris chuckled, "Oh, I'm no stranger to the little fists of fury.", he winked at you, referencing your outburst at Yellowstone when they scared you while fooling around.

After all was said and done, everyone was pretty level about the whole thing. Sebastian understood why Chris did what he did and was actually glad. It was good to know that someone would take care of his girl if he ever wasn't around. Chris felt terrible that he punched first and asked questions later. He felt even worse that he got so worked up that he didn't even notice your crying and pleading for a moment. But, he was relieved that you and Seb had accepted his apology.

Sebastian headed to take a shower downstairs and invited you to join him. You told him you'd be there as soon as you grabbed a change of clothes. He went on his way as you headed to your room.

Chris followed you to your room and spoke low, "(Y/N)..."

You turned at the sound of his voice from the doorway. He waited until he was right in front of you to speak again, quietly, "If anyone, _anyone_ ," he raised his eyebrows to emphasize that his statement included Sebastian, "ever lays a hand on you, you come to me. I'll take care of you, okay?"

You nodded, "Okay, Chris."

He lifted your chin to lock eyes with you, "Promise."

You eyelids fluttered as you blinked. "I promise.", you whispered.

You found it interesting that Chris was sometimes acting as if he wasn't seeing anyone and that Seb was really okay with Chris's affections toward you. You enjoyed still being able to have Chris as a close friend during those times, but it surprised you. Then again it was only during stressful or intense situations. That was probably it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, comments and kudos!
> 
> xoxo


	42. Into The Fold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> You turned at the sound of his voice from the doorway. He waited until he was right in front of you to speak again, quietly, "If anyone, _anyone_ ," he raised his eyebrows to emphasize that his statement included Sebastian, "ever lays a hand on you, you come to me. I'll take care of you, okay?"
> 
> You nodded, "Okay, Chris."
> 
> He lifted your chin to lock eyes with you, "Promise."
> 
> You eyelids fluttered as you blinked. "I promise.", you whispered.
> 
> You found it interesting that Chris was sometimes acting as if he wasn't seeing anyone and that Seb was really okay with Chris's affections toward you. You enjoyed still being able to have Chris as a close friend during those times, but it surprised you. Then again it was only during stressful or intense situations. That was probably it.

NOTE: Okay, so, I know that Sebastian's parents are divorced and he has or did have a step-dad. I don't know anything else, so I'm using the last name 'Stan' and I'm making up their first names.

\-----

A week later, Sebastian's parents flew out and arrived on Saturday afternoon. Sebastian went to meet them at the airport and get them squared away with a rental car and hotel for their week-long stay.

You, Chris and Sharon waited at the house. You were all in the living room, watching some random movie that was on TV. You were still a little nervous to see them for the first time as their son's girlfriend and you really didn't know if the whole pregnancy loss situation would make things awkward and by how much. So, when Sebastian asked you if you wanted to come along to welcome them at the airport, you declined. He understood; you'd rather be in fimiliar territory to calm your nerves.

Chris and Sharon were cuddling on the couch, but something seemed off with them. You glanced over at them every once in a while from your spot on the love seat. They just didn't seem as relaxed with each other as they used to be. Chris was more rigid around her now. And she was a bit more quiet than usual, though it probably wouldn't be noticeable to the casual observer. They had been going out for quite some time now; probably just the usual shift into disagreements and some incompatibilities that came for some couples after time.

When you heard loud talking outside the door, coming up the steps, your heart jumped into your throat. Chris sat up and switched off the TV and the door opened. You all stood and Chris headed to the door. Sebastian's mom stepped in first, his dad, then Sebastian filing in last, closing the door behind him, a rush of cool air coming in with them all. You were smiling nervously.

"Hey, mom!", Chris beamed giving her a big hug.

"Hi, puddin'!", she gave his cheek a couple affectionate, but forceful, motherly smacks as he squeezed his eyes shut and laughed.

Chris moved on to greet and hug Seb's dad.

Sebastian came to you, smiled and spoke quietly as he took your hand, "Hey." He began to lead you around the love seat while he leaned in close to your ear and whispered, "Relax, baby, everything's fine."

Chris went to fetch Sharon from in front of the couch and introduce her when Sebastian approached his parents with you in tow.

"Hello, my lovely girl...", his mother smiled, warmly, showing just a touch of sympathy.

"Hi, Mrs. Stan.", you smiled shyly as she took you in her arms.

"I'm so glad we could come see you.", she said softly, pulling back. "And call me Gloria. Or,", she tilted her head, her blue eyes, twinkling, "if you're comfortable with it, you can call me mom."

You glanced at Sebastian for a beat, smiling a little bigger. He was positively beaming with pride.

You looked back to his mom, "Okay. Thank you."

"Such a pretty girl.", she said under her breath as she touched your cheek and then she turned her attention to Chris and Sharon.

You said hello to Sebastian's dad and he hugged you up, "Hello, dear. So good to see you again!" He released you, his hand on your arms while he smiled down at you, "How have you been?"

You nodded and grinned slightly, starting to feel a little more comfortable, "I've been well, thank you."

"She's so prim and proper.", he raised his eyebrows and looked to his son who laughed, then spoke.

"Just wait until she gets a few beers in her; she gets pretty funny."

His dad's eyebrows, shot up, "Oh? We'll have to make that happen, then.", he winked at you. A charmer. Now you see where Sebastian learned it from. "You can call me Harry... Or dad.", he smiled.

You laughed a little, "Okay."

He released your arms and greeted Sharon, when Chris introduced her.

After all the formalities were out of the way. You all headed to dinner.

When the six of you returned to the house, Sebastian went out back, with his Dad following, to start a fire so everyone could relax and have a few drinks before his parents left for the night. Sharon was really tired since she had just finished a long shift before coming over, so Chris walked her out to her car. He almost always spent nights at Sharon's anymore, so he would go over to her place for the night after visiting with Seb's parents for a while.

You were in the kitchen with Gloria. She was standing at the edge of the island, watching as you got out different kinds of alcoholic glasses and bottles of liquor. You were feeling a lot more comfortable with Seb's parents by the time dinner was over.

"I make a pretty mean mojito if you'd like one.", you grinned at her.

She was adjusting her bracelet, when her eyebrows shot up, "Ooh, that sounds good! Yes! Thank you." She watched your preparation for a moment. "(Y/N)?"

"Yes, ma'am?", you kept your gaze on the lime you were cutting.

She giggled, "Stop that. Gloria or mom."

You chuckled, "Sorry."

She stepped next you and put a light hand on your arm, "I want you to know how sorry I am for your loss."

You stopped, your eyes still focused on the bright green fruit on the cutting board. You took a breath, the tears pushing behind your eyes, but not escaping.

Her face became sympathetic, "When Sebastian told me about it, my heart broke... For both of you."

You put down the knife and turned to her, frowning and pressing your lips together to keep from crying, "Thank you."

She continued, looking you straight in the eyes, "And my darling girl, I also want you to know that I can see how much you and my son love each other. He never stops gushing about you when we talk.", you smiled softly, this time the tears came in a swell of happiness from her words. "I can tell you're good for each other. And if you ever need someone to talk to or just want to say hi, please don't hesitate to call."

You nodded, then she hugged you, "Thank you, Gloria."

Chris came in as you pulled back and wiped one of your eyes to rid them of their wetness. He stood near you and Gloria, dipping his head down to see you better, "You okay, hon."

"Yeah.", you replied.

Sebastian and his dad came in from the back just as you were wiping your other eye.

"Mom,", he strode up the couple steps and across the kitchen to you, "why are you making my baby doll cry?", he half teased, wrapping his arms around you from behind as he turned and tilted his head down to kiss your cheek.

You gave his arm a pat and chuckled, "She's fine, Seb."

You finished fixing Gloria's drink as everyone chattered. Sebastian, his parents and Chris were all like a tight knit family; teasing each other, laughing like crazy, reliving stories and jokes. The room felt warm with familiarity.

You hoped that one day you could join the inside loop of this little tribe and have your own stories and jokes to share with them time and time again. The thought made you smile.

Everyone else was having beer, so Sebastian started pulling them out of the fridge and handing them out. You all wandered out back to sit in the chairs around the fire. You took a seat on Sebastian's lap.

After a few drinks for everyone, the conversation came to embarrassing moments. Harry said his was when he worked in a shake shop as a teen and spilled a shake all over a girl he fancied. Gloria said her most embarrassing moment was coming out of the restroom in church with the back of her dress tucked up in her pantyhose. You all howled laughing at that. You said yours was in the second grade. You were trying to impress the new girl in your class and did the splits, ripping a hole in the rear of your jeans. You told about how you took scotch tape into the bathroom and tried to fix it, but eventually you had to walk to the office with your hand over your butt to call your mom to bring you new pants. That gave everyone a good laugh. Chris said his was probably when his friend walked in on him having sex in college.

"Christopher!", Gloria scolded.

"What? Just telling the truth."

Everyone chuckled.

"What's yours, honey?", you asked Sebastian.

He shook his head, "Nah, I don't have one."

You squinted at him as Chris piped up, "I bet I know what it is." He quirked an eyebrow at Sebastian.

Sebastian shot him a look and pointed with the hand holding his beer, "Don't."

"Come on.", you goaded. You poked him and he jumped, so you started tickling his ribs, giggling.

He yelled out and started laughing, "Hey! Ah!" He put his beer down on the grass next to the low chair, "Oh, you wanna play, huh?" He started tickling you back as you squirmed and squeaked.

Everyone was chuckling at the two of you.

Beer still in hand and trying uselessly to defend yourself, you shouted, "Seb! I don't wanna spill my beer!"

Right on queue, Chris stood, took a step, and took your beer from your hand, "Oh, I can help with that."

You protested, "Hey! That was my safety net!" You screeched as Seb's assault intensified.

Sebastian laughed, "Thanks, Chris."

"Okay! Okay! You win!", you shouted breathlessly.

He stopped, rested his hand on your thigh, grabbing his beer again. He grinned up at you and you gave him a kiss. You looked at Chris, "Can I have my beer back, please?"

He chuckled and handed it back, "You two are like a couple of teenagers."

"Thank you.", you replied sweetly and glanced at Gloria, she was beaming at you.

You accepted that Sebastian didn't want to share his embarrassing moment, so you dropped it. No one else prodded him about it, maybe because they all knew it? Everyone else started talking again. 

Sebastian pulled you to him gently with a hand at the back of your neck, his lips close to your ear as he whispered, "You're gonna get it for that."

"Get what?", you whispered back, wondering.

He stroked a thumb over your thigh covertly in the dark. He whispered so quietly, you barely heard his words over the other voices and the crackling of the fire, "Two weeks is up, doll. I'm gonna fuck you until you're screaming tonight."

You felt a flutter in your lower belly as you took a deep breath and did your best to hide your reaction. You looked at him and he was smiling. Just a regular old smile. No hint of lust, desire or devious plans behind it; the perfect poker face. That smug bastard. You just pressed your lips together and smiled, turning your attention to the conversation again. Your hand was resting at the back of his neck and slid slowly up into the hair at the nape of his neck while you kept listening to the others talking. You gripped a fistful of hair slowly, close to his scalp, causing it to pull tightly. Your attention and expression were still engaged in what the others were saying.

You pulling on his hair like that made him think about going down on you. He cleared his throat and shifted after you felt his length twitch against the back of your thigh.

Him clearing his throat caught the attention of the others. His dad spoke up, "You don't agree with that?", he referenced what Gloria had just said.

Sebastian had no idea what was just said, "Oh. No. I just had a tickle in my throat." He took a drink of his beer as the conversation resumed. Then he cocked an eyebrow and mouthed to you with a nearly inaudible whisper behind it, "You're in big trouble, miss."

You just smirked.

Chris left shortly after and Sebastian's parents left about 30 minutes later. Not even a moment after they drove away down the street, Sebastian kept his word. At some point during the night, he had sneaked to his room and put a condom in his jeans pocket so he could lick you and then fuck you as soon as everyone was gone; right there, at the front door. He held you up against the door, your legs wrapped around his waist. Your pleasured cries filled the empty house while he pounded into you relentlessly and said the most deliciously filthy things in your ear until you were, in fact, screaming his name.

He gave you four orgasms in total over the course of that night as he also took you bent over the kitchen table and again in his shower.

Once you were both a panting tangle of weak body parts under the running water, he started to wash you up while you talked about anything and everything.

He was gliding a soapy washcloth over your back when you asked, "So what was your embarrassing moment?"

He sighed, "It's stupid. You don't want to hear it."

You turned and chuckled softly, taking the washcloth from him and gently washing his chest and shoulders, "Honey, I'm not going to judge you. It's good to share this kind of stuff. So people know they aren't alone in their emotions... Even embarrassment."

He clenched his jaw and hitched his mouth to one side. You were always able to convince him. He sighed, as you continued down his arms with the bubbly cloth, his hands at your waist when he spoke, "In middle school, I went to ask a girl out and I was so nervous, I threw up."

You almost laughed, but opted for a warm smile instead, "That's sweet. I mean, that you liked her so much that it made you that nervous. That's not so bad, honey." You gave him a light kiss, "Plus, you're quite the confident man now. My man.", you gently gripped his shaft with the soapy washcloth and he moaned softly.

He closed his eyes and melted into your stroking touch, "Yes, baby. All yours."


	43. Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> He clenched his jaw and hitched his mouth to one side. You were always able to convince him. He sighed, as you continued down his arms with the bubbly cloth, his hands at your waist when he spoke, "In middle school, I went to ask a girl out and I was so nervous, I threw up."
> 
> You almost laughed, but opted for a warm smile instead, "That's sweet. I mean, that you liked her so much that it made you that nervous. That's not so bad, honey." You gave him a light kiss, "Plus, you're quite the confident man now. My man.", you gently gripped his shaft with the soapy washcloth and he moaned softly.
> 
> He closed his eyes and melted into your stroking touch, "Yes, baby. All yours."

You and Sebastian had gone back to work the following week once his parents returned home. You felt really comfortable with them by the time they left. They were such nice, open, loving people. You started to believe that if you and Sebastian decided to have a baby before getting married or to not get married at all, they would accept whatever the two of you chose to do.

Over the next month came full blown fall. Crisp, cool air, crunchy leaves, hot drinks of all kinds and lots of hanging by the backyard fire with the gang and wearing fleece lined leggings, oversized sweaters, jackets, boots and slouchy beanies. Your favorite thing was sitting in Sebastian's lap by the fire, him holding you close while you soaked up his warmth and the heat of the fire, surrounded by your friends.

You had been to all your follow up appointments for your surgery and got the green light to try to conceive again, but you and Sebastian decided you'd wait a couple weeks and talk about it again. When those two weeks were up, he was preparing for a three day business trip to California the next morning to meet with a large company who was a potential client.

You stood at the foot of the bed near him while he started packing, his back to you. He got a handful of socks from his dresser and pivoted, placing them in the empty suitcase on the bed. As soon as he turned back to grab underwear, you snatched the socks out of the suitcase and waited for him to turn back to put the underwear in the suitcase. Once he did, you quickly threw the socks back in the drawer. He paused when he saw the socks were missing, undies in hand and turned to face you, cocking an eyebrow.

You frowned, "I don't want you to go."

He chuckled, "It's only a few days, doll." He put the underwear in the suitcase and turned back for the socks again, gathering them into his hands, one pair at a time, since your tossing them spread them all over inside the drawer. "Besides, the more I do, the higher up I'll go and the more money I'll make for us."

You grabbed all the underwear and shoved them up under your shirt, holding the hem against your body to keep them in, "I don't want money."

He turned, finding the underwear now missing and he looked back in the drawer, not finding them there either, his eyes narrowed as you continued, "I want you to stay home."

This would be the first time the two of you would be apart for more than a few hours since you got together and you had slept next to him every night since then. He had become a sort of security blanket to you.

He dropped the socks in the suitcase and faced you again. He laughed at the little lumpy bump of underwear under your shirt at the belly. His face softened and then a small smile crept back onto it, imagining you pregnant. He gently removed your hands from the bottom of your shirt, reaching up to grab all the underwear and tossing them in the suitcase.

He took both your hands in his and looked at you lovingly, "Look, I'm gonna really miss you too, honey. But, if we're gonna have a baby anytime soon, I want to be able to take care of you and our child the best that I can. I wanna spoil the shit outta you." You giggled a little as he smiled and continued, "And I want our child to want for nothing." You nodded, looking at your hands in his and he continued, "And, if you'd like,", he tilted your chin up, "we can start trying when I come back..."

Your heart swelled and your face lit up, "You're ready?"

He kissed your nose, "Only if you are."

You nodded, beaming, "Yes, I'm ready."

The next morning, you and Chris drove him to the airport. His flight was pretty early, so you and Chris would be to work on time with no problems.

You all said your goodbyes before he went through security. He hugged you tightly and gave you a soft, deliberate kiss and then held you close, your head against his chest, his cheek on your head. You breathed in his scent deeply while he spoke, "I'm gonna miss you, baby doll."

You pulled back and nodded, your face reflecting a longing already, "I'll miss you too, honey."

"I'll call you when I get in and each night, okay? I love you."

"I love you too, Sebby."

He smiled and kissed your lips again, giving your lower belly a single light stroke with the knuckles of his curled fingers to silently remind you of what was to come when he returned. It gave you butterflies. He went to Chris and they exchanged one of their rough hugs with all the back slapping. You never understood how guys endured such brutal hugs; they looked like they stung like a son of a bitch, like a belly flop. He stepped back from Chris and looked him square in the eye, his face serious, "Take care of my girl."

Chris pulled up one corner of his mouth, his hand in his jacket pockets, "I promise, bro. See you soon."

Sebastian kissed your forehead and stroked your cheek, "I'll be home before you know it, baby."

"Okay.", you forced a smile as he turned and walked away.

You both waved to him once he got in the security line and then you headed back to the car.

You sighed heavily once you got to the parking lot.

"You okay, hon?", Chris asked.

"I need a crappy, junky, fast food breakfast. A couple breakfast burritos and like, three greasy hash brown patties."

He chuckled, "You got it." Chris was feeling a little anxious about being with you for three days without Sebastian around, though he hid it well. He knew you wouldn't want to be in the house by yourself having become accustomed to Sebastian being there with you... Especially overnight.

He went through the drive thru and ordered you both a big bag of food and two large coffees and drove to the office. He spoke while you were already ripping into a burrito, "If you need anything while Seb is gone, let me know, okay? I'll stay at the house until he gets back. Maybe we could have Sharon over and have a slumber party." He shrugged, "I might even let you paint my nails."

You laughed and mumbled through your food, "Okay. Thanks, Chris." It's not like you could cuddle him in Sebastian's absence and you definitely couldn't sleep in the same bed with him, so you weren't sure what he could offer other than company, but you appreciated the offer he made... And you would totally paint his nails if he let you.

Work was weird that day, even though you and Sebastian didn't even work in the same department, it felt like you were missing a limb... Or a wonderfully affectionate two hundred pound parasite with arms and legs... And amazing hands... And lips... And tongue...

"(Y/N),", Pepper came out of her office and startled you out of your sexy thoughts, causing you to turn quickly towards her, knocking your coffee all over your desk and lap.

"Shit!", you hissed, rolling back in your chair quickly, your hands up as Pepper exclaimed.

"Oh my God, are you okay? I didn't mean to startle you.", she uprighted the cup quickly.

"I'm fine, thanks." You cursed under your breath again and rolled the chair forward, reaching in your desk drawer for some wipes. Luckily, the cup was only half full, not scalding anymore, your desk was void of files and papers at the moment and you were wearing black slacks. "What's up?", you asked as you swiped at the desk surface.

"I need you to get these budgets typed up and down to development, testing, and engineering.", she handed you three folders. "And I need a meeting set up with these guys." She handed you another folder, "Whenever I'm available, but no sooner than a week from now."

"You got it, Chief.", you smiled at her, dabbing at your pants with a wipe.

She chuckled, "Do you need to go change?"

You shook your head, "Nah, it'll dry and maybe the smell will keep me awake all day, now that my coffee's gone."

She laughed, "Go get another coffee from the break room, those aren't that much of a rush anyway." She gestured at the folders she just gave you.

"Okay, thanks."

Sebastian called your work line once he landed. He let you know that he was still on the plane and that he had to go get to his hotel and then over to meet with the potential client. It was a quick call, but he said he would call again that night.

You went to lunch with Chris and that night, he had invited Sharon over, but she had to work an overnight shift. Sebastian called you right after dinner.

"Hi, honey!", you answered excitedly.

"Hey, baby doll."  You could hear that he was smiling.

"You're calling to say you're coming home now, right?"

He laughed, "No, but soon. How's it going? You taking care of that sexy little baby oven of a body for me?"

You giggled, "Yeah. Though I fed it breakfast burritos and hash browns this morning."

"Nice.", he paused. "I miss you."

"I miss you too, Sebby... I hope I can sleep tonight.", you said, a little sad. "I'm so used to having you by my side."

"You can get one of my shirts, baby."

"Can I also sleep with one of your pillows?"

He chortled, "God, you're adorable. Of course." You made him feel so loved.

"Thank you! How's business going?"

"Really well. I think we got this one. If I can get them onboard, sooner rather than later, I might actually get to come home early."

You squeaked quietly, beaming, "That would be so great! Go get 'em, baby!"

"That's the plan!", he chuckled.

You talked for a few more minutes and said your goodbyes. You really hoped he could close that deal and get home fast.

You and Chris settled in to watch a movie in the living room, a bowl of popcorn between you. The only light, being one of the dim tabletop lamps on one of the end tables. About fifteen minutes into the movie, he turned to you. "(Y/N)?"

Your eyebrows raised expectantly when you looked to him, "Yeah?"

He felt a little weird about what he was going to ask, but, it seemed like one of the very few appropriate ways to be closer to you right now, "Can I braid your hair?"

You scoffed out a laugh and smiled warmly, "You know how to braid?"

"Well, yeah. My sister taught me when we were younger and since then I've just done it for whoever would let me so I wouldn't forget how. I really like to do it."

_'Especially for someone I love.'_ , he thought. 

"That's cool.", you smiled. "Yeah. Let's do it! How fun!"

He smiled and scooted to the edge of the cushion, planted his feet on the floor, his knees apart. You stood, pulled the hair elastic out of your hair and put it on your wrist, since you had it in a messy bun. You then combed through your hair with your fingers to smooth it out. You sat between his legs on the floor, leaning your back against the front of the couch, his knees lightly touching your shoulders. You started watching the movie again.

He had the urge to lay his hands on either side of your neck, underneath your hair and softly stroke his thumbs on the back of your neck, but he pushed the idea aside.

When his fingers raked through your hair gently, you closed your eyes for a beat. You loved it when people played with or did your hair; it was so relaxing. You had had many a friend or relative do the same thing, but something started stirring inside you at his light, careful touch. You felt a warmth in your stomach, your breath increased very slightly and you found your eyes blinking more slowly, relaxing at his fingertips.

It was probably the most comfortable the two of you had been around each other since you and Sebastian became an item. As much as you didn't want to admit it, being with one of them definitely threw a wrench into the dynamic you all used to have. It broke your heart a little. You still missed the way things used to be with Chris; that longing may never go away, sadly. You still found him attractive as well, so it made sense that your body was reacting the way it was. But, you felt relaxed and comfortable, enjoying the time with your friend.

His touch continued to be slow and gentle as he dragged a fingertip against your scalp each time he sectioned off a chunk of hair to add the braid. He could've put you to sleep that way, and damn near did. He took his time, savoring being able to touch you and glide his fingers through your soft hair in an intimate, but acceptable way, without feeling guilty or unsure about it.

When he was finished, he put a hand in front of you in a silent gesture asking for the elastic. You handed it to him and he tied off the end of the braid, and put his hands on either side of your arms, "All done.", he smiled slightly.

You tilted your head back, looking up at him, your eyelids heavy, a soft smile on your face, "Thank you. That felt so good."

Now his breath was increasing slightly. _'Kiss her!'_ , his head was screaming at him. His smiled spread a bit more, "You're welcome, sweetheart." No matter how badly he wanted to kiss you, he couldn't. You were both spoken for.

You stood, grabbed a blanket off the couch arm, sat next to him on the couch and spread the blanket over your legs and pulling your hands into the long sleeves of your oversized sweater. You were close to him, but not close enough to cuddle. You remember laying down at some point, your head away from him on the other end of the couch and your legs curled up into you. Then you got really sleepy.

You woke in the middle of the night half on your stomach, with your cheek on the couch cushion. The rest of you stretched down the length of the couch, your bottom leg ending between Chris's side and arm. He was sleeping on his back, a throw pillow under his head, one leg stretched out down the front of you. He was holding your foot and calf like a teddy bear. His other foot was planted on the floor, knee bent and leaning against the couch with your top leg draped over both his thighs. The DVD you had watched was just playing the menu over and over.

Shit. You both had to work in a few hours; you needed alarm clocks and to sleep in your beds. "Chris...", you croaked out quietly.

"Mmh?", He made a small noise as you started to sit up and pull your legs off him. He stirred slightly when you did.

"Chris.", you said a little louder.

"What?", he mumbled, opening his eyes.

You sat up and stood, "We need to go to bed."

He looked up at you sleepily and grinned, his inhibitions clouded by not being fully awake, "Mine or yours?"

"Chris.", you scolded gently, playfully shoving your knee against his leg. "You go to your bed. I'll go to mine." You offered him a hand, which he took, even though you weren't much help getting him up, he was too much muscle for you to lift.

He shut off the TV and player, you clicked the lamp off and the two of you shuffled around the love seat in the near dark to head to your rooms. In the haze of his sleepiness, he really wanted to smack your cute little ass as you walked in front of him. But, unlike his flirtation just a few moments earlier, he had a little more sense about him now.


	44. Revocation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> He looked up at you sleepily and grinned, his inhibitions clouded by not being fully awake, "Mine or yours?"
> 
> "Chris.", you scolded gently, playfully shoving your knee against his leg. "You go to your bed. I'll go to mine." You offered him a hand, which he took, even though you weren't much help getting him up, he was too much muscle for you to lift.
> 
> He shut off the TV and player, you clicked the lamp off and the two of you shuffled around the love seat in the near dark to head to your rooms. In the haze of his sleepiness, he really wanted to smack your cute little ass as you walked in front of him. But, unlike his flirtation just a few moments earlier, he had a little more sense about him now.

The next morning, you and Chris took seperate cars to work since he knew he would be working a bit later on a project deadline. Sebastian had actually called you at work halfway through the morning to let you know that the deal went through and he would be catching a flight home that evening. You could hardly contain yourself, but managed anyway since you were at work.

"I'll see you soon, baby doll. I can't wait to start a family with you.", he softly cooed over the line.

"Me too, honey. I love you.", you smiled.

"I love you, (Y/N)."

The day couldn't go by fast enough. You called Chris's desk to go to lunch and told him when Seb would be home. He was too busy to go to lunch, so you offered to bring him something. He was more than grateful. You left in your car to pick up the food, returned to the office and sauntered to Chris's cubicle, white plastic bag in hand.

"Hey.", you said quietly to his back as he was concentrating intently on his computer screens. You set the bag on the desk near him and pulled out the container that held his food.

He spun around slowly in his chair and sighed heavily as you put the container near his keyboard, "Oh, bless you. Thanks, hon." He looked a bit frazzled.

Your brows pulled together, "You okay?"

He opened the container as you unwrapped a fork and handed to him, "Thanks." He took a huge bite of the enormous salad, loaded with grilled chicken and veggies. He replied with a quiet, muffled voice through his food, "Yeah, I'm just a little stuck right now. Some codes aren't working and I'm having a hard time figuring out why." He swallowed, "Why do things have to go to shit when you're so close to being there, ya know?"

You hitched one side of your mouth in sympathy, "I'm sorry, Chris. Maybe take a few minutes to get some food in you and then try again? Might help."

"Maybe.", he sighed again and stood to give you a quick hug. "Thanks for lunch.", he kissed your forehead and then quickly stepped back and scoffed at himself, "Sorry. Old habits."

You smiled up at him, "It's okay. Don't worry so much."

You took your lunch to the break room and ate before getting back to work yourself.

You drove home late in the afternoon and thought about how excited your were to have a baby with Sebastian. The anticipation of having him inside you again after being apart was also overwhelming, even if it had only been two days. Once you got home, you changed into more casual clothes. Chris should be getting home just before Sebastian's flight came in so that you could both go pick him up.

You cleaned the house while you waited for Chris to get home; it was the only thing you could focus on since you were so keyed up.

You decided to take a break and have a soda. You cracked it open and stood in the kitchen, taking a swig. You heard the front door open, so you put down the can and headed toward the living room to greet Chris. His back was to you as he closed the door, then he turned. You were just getting to where he was. His eyes were red, his face blank.

Your brows furrowed and your hands went to his arms, "Chris, what's wrong?"

His pained eyes met yours, "Seb was in an accident."

You heart fell into your stomach and your eyes widened as you covered your mouth and nose with your hands, "What happened?"

"He was on his way to the airport and his cab got hit by a semi-truck.", his face was still void of expression.

Your breath hitched and your voice became panicked as you reached for your jacket off the coat rack with shaking hands, "Well, we need to go then. We need to go to him."

Chris grabbed your arm lightly and you paused to look at him with your jacket in hand, breathing heavily.

He clenched his jaw, "(Y/N)... He's gone."

You stopped breathing, dropping your jacket to the floor. It felt like someone just sucked all the life out of you and you felt like you might vomit. Your mouth fell open, your eyes filled with tears so quickly that when you squeezed your eyes shut, they flowed freely.

You finally breathed again, "No." You fell to your knees and sat back on your feet, your face hanging down in your hands. You heard the most primal, tormented yell ringing in your ears. You thought it was the sound of your heart breaking into a million pieces, but it was you, crying out in unfathomable agony.

Chris came down to you, crying again himself. He tried to hold you, but you were crying so hard and you couldn't even hold still. You were trembling violently as you wrapped your arms around yourself and started to rock, "No. No. God, no." You looked at Chris. His expression and him crying made things even worse. He took your hands in his and your eyes were pleading with him. For what you didn't even know. All you knew is that there was hole inside you now and you wanted to die.

His expression conveyed torture from his own pain and in seeing you this way, "I'm here." He held you as you continued to sob uncontrollably.

After a moment, he pulled back and took your face in his hands as your body jerked while you tried to hold back your sobs now. He looked deep into your eyes, "I'm here for you, (Y/N)."

You looked at each other for a beat and then he pressed his lips firmly to yours.

You shoved him away, your face twisted in hurt, anger and confusion.

His expression fell as guilt consumed him over what he just did. He whispered, "I'm sorry."

You got up quickly and stormed off to your room, crying again as you slammed the door.

Chris felt like dying too as he sat there alone on the floor while he closed his eyes tight, his own tears flowing again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm completely wrecked. Short chapter, because this took everything from me. I was shaking and crying the whole time I wrote this, knowing what was coming. I'm so invested and attached to these characters. They really mean something to me.
> 
> This event is why I haven't been writing as quickly or very long chapters lately. I was dreading it. But, it was in the cards all along and I wasn't about to stray from the grand scheme of things. It had to happen.
> 
> Also, there was foreshadowing in this chapter.
> 
> I love you guys.
> 
> I'm so sorry. Please don't leave. You will get great things from sticking this out.
> 
> xoxo


	45. Distance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> After a moment, he pulled back and took your face in his hands as your body jerked while you tried to hold back your sobs now. He looked deep into your eyes, "I'm here for you, (Y/N)."
> 
> You looked at each other for a beat and then he pressed his lips firmly to yours.
> 
> You shoved him away, your face twisted in hurt, anger and confusion.
> 
> His expression fell as guilt consumed him over what he just did. He whispered, "I'm sorry."
> 
> You got up quickly and stormed off to your room, crying again as you slammed the door.
> 
> Chris felt like dying too as he sat there alone on the floor while he closed his eyes tight, his own tears flowing again.
> 
>  
> 
> **Song: Sweet Disposition by The Temper Trap**

Chris got up and sat in one of the chairs in the reading area of the living room. He figured it best to give you a while before trying to go to you. Plus, he needed a moment himself.

He couldn't help it, kissing you. You were both hurting and he just wanted to make it better, to love you and to be loved by you. He just wanted to show you how much he really was there for you; all of him. He never wanted so badly before to hold you, kiss you, be everything you needed than he did now, while you were both desperate for comfort in your shared loss. But it was too soon for what he had done, you had just lost your other half.

He slipped into a state of catatonia, staring out the window in front of him at the trees and the eve of the porch. The sun was starting to set while his emotions peaked at beyond overwhelming. He was thinking a thousand miles an hour, but could no longer cry or even appear upset. Sebastian's last words to him kept playing in his mind like a broken record, _'Take care of my girl.'_

And he promised he would. He had a promise to keep.

Meanwhile, you had crumpled into a sniveling heap on your bed, your face in Sebastian's pillow. And even though you ached to smell him, it only spurred your agony on to higher levels. After about 10 minutes of crying, your sobs quieted and stopped as you layed on your side and stared at the blank wall; empty, just like you. Tears still fell from time to time when you blinked, but you were silent now, just breathing; just exsisting as darkness crept in, consuming your room... and your heart. You then thought about what Chris had done; he kissed you. Why? You quickly realized that you really didn't have the mental capacity to try to figure it out right now.

You heard a quiet knock. "(Y/N)?", Chris's soft, deep voice came from the other side of the door. "Can I come in?" He waited for what felt like an eternity, his forehead resting on the door.

You didn't want to move, talk or even breathe... But you had a need; a need to not be alone anymore than you already felt inside. You needed contact, and Chris... Chris was the only one you wanted to comfort you right now. Even though you were swimming in confusion about his recent actions, he was the only one you wanted near. When you finally answered. Your voice was so small and weak that he almost didn't hear you. "Yeah.", you answered.

He opened the door cautiously. He could make out in the falling darkness that you were facing away from him on the bed. "Hey.", he said softly.

"Hey.", you answered back, not moving.

He walked to the bed and you felt it dip behind you. He just sat there for a long moment before he spoke, "What I did was out of line. I just- I just wanna be here for you always... to help you- to help you through this. Everything just got so overwhelming. I wasn't-- thinking straight. And the truth is, I-- I need you too right now."

Your face twisted up in tortured sympathy at his vunerable words, your eyes squeezed shut and a new wave of tears filled your eyes. But, you were silent, holding your breath. You needed each other and it tugged at your heart violently.

He didn't sense any change from you, so he just reached over and stroked your hair once, gently, slowly as he murmered softly, "I'm here, sweetheart. I'm not going anywhere."

You surprised him when your got up on your knees, turned and swiftly crawled onto his lap, sitting on his thighs, facing him. You starting crying again and held him tightly, his arms returning your embrace securely.

You felt so guilty for not yet acknowledging that he was hurting too. He lost his best friend of nearly a lifetime. "I'm sorry, Chris." You took his head in your hands and starting giving him quick kisses on his cheeks, temples and forehead; several in each spot while you held back sobs. You laid your forehead against his, your breath still coming in jagged chokes of emotion, "I'm so sorry, honey."

His eyes shut tight and his face was contorted with so many emotions with you calling him such a loving name and being so close to you, like this. Longing, restraint, guilt, agony, desire... They all bubbled to just under the surface. He couldn't. He had to hold back. Too soon. Too soon. It tore at his insides trying not to kiss you again. Fuck, he wanted to make love to you so badly, to give himself to you completely and for you to do the same for him. To bond with you in the most intimate way possible to try to ease the pain you were both feeling. But it would be wrong... So fucking wrong. He was so confused that he was even wanting you like that right now. He felt like a terrible person and like he was losing his mind. But, on the other hand, Jesus Christ, why? Why did he always have to hold back with you?! Fuck! He started to feel angry over it all. Everything; Sebastian's death, never getting to just fucking have you, to call you his own, feeling like a sorry excuse of a human being for wanting you right after finding out his best friend and your lover just died. He felt sick. He felt as though life and his own mind were taunting him, wanting him to break, just waiting for him to crack.

"Stop.", he whispered and gently started to lift you off his lap. He was barely holding everything in to keep it from ripping out of him in a rage.

You followed his lead and slid off, back onto your bed to sit as he stood and started for the door. You softly spoke, worry lacing your voice, "I'm so sorry. Chris... Please don't--"

He stopped, his voice was low as he ran his hand through his hair, agitated, "It's okay, hon. You didn't do anything wrong. I'm not leaving you. I just need a minute."

"Okay.", you replied quietly, but he was already out of sight. You hung your head and listened as his footfalls receded. You were so confused. What the fuck is happening? You heard the front door slam. Did he just leave, like he said he wouldn't?

You stood, came out into the kitchen and flipped on the light intending to see if Chris was still out front. Instead, you were instantly assaulted by memories of Sebastian in the house. The tears came again and you sniffed. You thought about his empty room downstairs and how you would never again see him appear from behind that wall were the stairs came up to meet the kitchen. Everywhere you looked you were overwhelmed by a memory; an embrace, a laugh, a touch, a sigh, a kiss... a moment of passion where two became one. God, he was everywhere... He was everywhere, but nowhere. Another wave of torment took you as you just slid down the wall and into a weeping ball on the floor.

You laid there for a few minutes. Eventually, your crying became occasional whimpers. You closed your eyes. Fuck, it hurt. You heard the front door and Chris's footsteps, which quickened once he saw you.

"(Y/N)?!", he crouched down and started to lift you up, "Are you okay?" His expression was pained as he touched your cheek and stroked your hair out of your face as it was clinging to the tears on your cheeks and temples.

You started blubbering again, "He's everywhere, but he's not here. He'll never be here again."

Chris started crying himself again, then he muttered under his breath, "Shit. I shouldn't have left you alone in here, sweetheart. I'm sorry." He started to lift you and carried you to the only place he could think of that would have the least memories for you... His own bedroom.

He sat you on the edge of his bed, while you tried to calm yourself. He sat beside you and hugged you into his side, his cheek resting on your head.

He tilted his head to look at you and sniffed, "You wanna get out of here? We need to eat anyway. And we could stay at a hotel or a friend's for tonight... Or however long you need."

You held your breath and nodded through the still falling tears. You felt relieved at the suggestion, but also a little torn... You didn't want to leave where his memory was everywhere. But, you felt like if you didn't, at least for tonight that you would lose your mind. "Oh...", you spoke up, "What about Sharon?"

He pressed his lips together and nodded, "I'll need to talk to her tonight, I hope she'll understand."

Just as soon as he said it, he was almost entirely sure his relationship with her would not survive this situation... And he was starting to realize now that he had just been biding his time with her... He cared a great desl for her, but his heart just wasn't in it completely, because a part of it belonged to you. He may need to have a painful talk with her soon. He didn't want to hurt her, but, given his growing realization, he had to finally be honest with her... and himself. Fuck, just one more thing to kick him when he's down.

He called Nat as he started packing a bag for himself while you sat on his bed, waiting. Tony had been the one to break the tragic news to Chris. He said he would handle telling the other friends too and he would ask them to give you both some time today and that you or Chris would call them if you needed anything. Nat was relieved when Chris called, she really wanted to hold you. She had been crying all evening too. She and Bruce jumped at the chance to accommodate you and Chris for as long as you needed. She also offered to order you both delivery for something to eat.

"Nat's gonna order us some takeout.", Chris said to you as he stuffed clothes from his dresser into his bag, phone still to his ear. "What do you want, sweetie?"

You sniffed, playing with the tissue Chris had gotten for you. You went with something that held memories between you and Chris, "Um, Chinese, please?" You glanced up at him, managing the tiniest of smiles.

A corner of his mouth pulled up. That's what he had always ordered when it was just the two of you.  It pleased him that you seemed to be trying to find comfort in something you both shared... in memories of being with him.  He just hoped that eventually, after some healing, that you and he could share more... Many more memories filled with joy. He rattled off the usual order he got to Nat as he continued packing.

Once he had his own bag packed, he tossed it outside his bedroom door, against the wall.

He stood at the foot of his bed and dialed his phone again. You watched him and he blinked slowly at you, then averted his eyes as he started to speak, "Hey, babe." You could see he was quickly feeling uneasy and trying to keep his composure, "Um. I- Something terrible has happened. Sebastian passed away today." He stopped and swallowed hard. You could barely hear her panicked voice on the other end. He nodded and rubbed the back of his neck as he started to pace, his face strained. He was trying harder now to hold it in, "Ah- He- He was in a car accident on his way to the airport to come home from his business trip."

He looked at you to make sure your were okay while Sharon went on at the other end. You were just staring at the floor. He would've had the conversation in private, but he didn't want to leave you alone again and it was getting too late to call Sharon once you were both at Bruce and Nat's.

He continued, "Ah, no. Um, we're gonna stay with some friends tonight and we need to get over there now. I, uh- I'm gonna be staying with (Y/N)... Uh, probably for quite a while. She really needs me right now." He paused and listened for a beat, "Okay, I will. I'll talk to you later." Another pause. "Uh, love you, too.", he looked at you right after he said it, pressed his lips together and then looked at the floor just before disconnecting the call.

He pocketed his phone, took your hand gently and led you to your room, putting you in front of your dresser and went to your closet, "Where's your bag, hon?" You told him and he fetched it, bringing it to you. You packed your bag quickly, trying not to think too much.

Once you were done, Chris led you to his car, got you and the bags in and he drove off.

You couldn't help but feel like you were leaving Seb behind, alone in the house... Without you. You thought he'd be so lonely. The tears fell once again, even though you knew he wasn't there. You wondered in that moment if spirits really did live on. If they did, you hoped your Sebby was happy, wherever he was.

Chris saw you crying again and took your hand, squeezing it, "Oh, sweetheart..." He glanced at you. "I know, nothing's gonna make it feel better for a long while. But, you won't be alone. I'm still here, okay?"

You just sniffed and nodded.

Once you got to Nat's she came outside to meet you, Bruce in tow. She hugged you tight, her own eyes red. "Hey, girl. I love you. I'm here for you, okay?", she sniffrd.

"Thank you.", you said in a small voice.

Bruce had hugged Chris and took both bags for him. Nat caught Chris in a hug as well when he came to be by your side, taking your hand. You wrapped your other hand around his bicep, your head leaning on his shoulder. Nat rubbed your upper back as you all walked inside. Bruce gave you a hug inside, offering you a simple, "I'm so sorry, (Y/N)."

You thanked him.

There wasn't a whole lot said while you and Chris ate. You both thanked them and got ready for bed. Bruce showed you to their office with had a sofa bed in it. Bruce and Chris took off the cushions and pulled out the bed while Nat got pillows, sheets and a blanket.

Chris took a shower and brushed his teeth while you and Nat made the bed. After Chris was done, you showered and brushed as well. When you came back, the three of them were talking in the office.

Nat and Bruce in their desk chairs and Chris sitting on the foot of the bed. He nodded and offered you a bottle of water, which you took and sat near him, gulping half of it in one go. As the conversation carried on, he watched you drink, gave you s half-hearted smile and proceeded to rub your back while he listened to Bruce again.

Once they said their goodnights and left, Chris kissed your forhead and stood, "Call me if you need anything, hon."

Your brows furrowed, "Where you going?"

"The couch in the living room.", he replied.

Your face fell, "Okay." Right, he had a girlfriend.

He paused, thinking as you got up and pulled back the covers. You climbed in and started, "Can you ge-"

He switched off the light, but he walked back to the bed and started climbing in next to you.

"Chris... Sharon.", you reminded him.

"I told you that you wouldn't be alone... And I promised him that I'd take care of you.", he pulled you to him as you teared up a little. He put his arm out as you lifted your head and laid it in the crook between his shoulder and chest. He wrapped his arms around you, his cheek resting against the top of you head. His heartbeat, his scent, they calmed you as the memories of being held by him as you slept came rushing back. He continued, his voice soft, "I'll worry about everything else later."

"Chris...", you said softly.

You said his name the way you used to and it pulled at his heart.

"I really missed you.", your voice strained with emotion.

His heart skipped a beat, he closed his eyes hard and pressed his lips to your forehead for a long moment and then pulled away with a kiss to it before returning his cheek to your head, "I missed you too, sweet girl."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Their embrace and the memories of Seb made me think of the song listed in the beginning notes.


	46. Farewell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> "I really missed you.", your voice strained with emotion.
> 
> His heart skipped a beat, he closed his eyes hard and pressed his lips to your forehead for a long moment and then pulled away with a kiss to it before returning his cheek to your head, "I missed you too, sweet girl."

When you opened your eyes, you felt the warmth of a fimiliar body cuddled up to your back side, a heavy arm over your middle, holding you tight to the firm chest behind you. You felt warm, soft breath close to your hair and neck. Your surroundings were unfamiliar.

You remembered immediately where you were and how your life had changed so suddenly. You were hit by a pang of guilt... Regret. You felt now that you shouldn't have slept in the same bed with Chris, cuddled to sleep with him, sat in his lap last night and shared such an intimate moment with him. He was still with Sharon... And you still felt you belonged to Sebastian. The feeling ate at you now.

You shifted and Chris woke immediately, "Hey...", he said through a voice hoarse with sleep.

You forced a smile as you got up to go use the restroom, "Hey." You padded to the door.

"You okay?", he asked after you.

You stopped and turned to look at him, "I know you're being attentive, but I'm not going to be okay for a while."

He sighed heavily, folding an arm behind his head, "I know, hon. But that doesn't mean I won't keep checking."

You pressed your lips together and nodded, turning to go to the bathroom.

You and Chris went back home later that day. Over the next couple days there was a lot of sitting around, staring out windows, more crying, copious amounts of sleeping and just laying in your bed. Sometimes you would go out on the back deck and think. Other times you would just sit in the reading area and knit or crochet, listening to music. Whenever you tried to read or watch TV to distract yourself, your mind could never latch onto what you were doing. You felt like you should call Sebastian's mom, but couldn't bring yourself to do it. Though, Chris talked to her at one point.

You wrote Sebastian a letter. You would be flying out to the East coast for the funeral in a few days and you thought about leaving it with him when you said goodbye. You wrote about how much you missed him, that you hoped he was happy and that you hoped to be with him again someday... And the baby you both lost. You wrote that you would never forget how excited you were to start a family with him and how much of an amazing and loving person he was. And even though you didn't feel it yet, you had to write for yourself that you understood that it was his time and this is how it was meant to be. You thanked him for blessing your life with such deep friendship and the most fulfilling love you've ever felt. _'I love you. Goodbye for now.'_

You had distanced yourself a bit from Chris over those days. You needed some time. Chris did his best to just give you the space you needed, though he never stopped taking care of you and checking on you. You did your best to be there for him too, from a traditional friend distance. You both talked with each other and hung out. You cooked for him and he cooked for you.

Even though you and Chris had only been the way you were before you were with Sebastian, less the intense embrace on your bed that first night and that kiss of his amongst the chaos. It just felt like it was wrong. You slept alone in your bed each night. Chris brought the other pillow up from Sebastian's bed so you could have them both; one to lay on and one to hold. You couldn't go in his room yet, there were so many intimate memories there.

The day you were dreading, but needing so badly, finally came. You, Chris and Sharon flew to Sebastian's hometown, where his parents lived and he would be buried. The rest of the group came out as well, but later.

The entire flight there, any outsider would've thought that you and Chris were a couple the way he fussed over you and you clinged to him. Sharon felt really awkward about it all... And she started to see something she thought she had seen a long time ago, but the reality of it finally hit her in the face. Chris loved you. And not just as a friend like he always claimed. He was _in love_ with you. She started to cry about it on the plane, but just played it off as mourning and sympathy for those who had lost Sebastian.

The funeral was the next morning in a beautiful Catholic Church with boldly colored stained glass windows and ceilings as high as the heavens. You entered the church, your letter and a handkerchief clutched in your hand as Chris held you tightly to his side, Sharon in tow. Your emotions started welling up already. There was room off the foyer. You saw his parents standing at the open, double doorway, hugging people.

Though the doorway, you saw it; the casket. All you could see is that one of the two sections of it was open for mourners to say their goodbyes before the service. Your eyes filled quickly at the sight and you tried to take deep breaths, pursing your parted lips. Chris looked down at you and gave you a supportive squeeze. You both went to his parents as Sharon went to the chapel doorway and waited.

When Sebastian's mom took you in her arms, you and her both lost it and started sobbing.

"I'm so sorry, my darling.", she managed.

You pulled back, confused, "Wh...? You're sorry for me? No. I'm sorry. You lost your son; your only child."

"Yes, my lovely girl. But, you lost your other half."

You both hugged again and cried for a moment. She pulled back and kissed your forehead, giving your hand a squeeze as she released it. You hugged Sebastian's dad too. Neither of you said anything. You stepped back away from the doorway, staring at the casket you couldn't see inside of and waited as Chris finished his own exchanges with them.

He then came to you, swiping at his own red eyes. He took your hand and ducked his head down to look you in the eyes, "Do you want to see him?"

Your breath caught as you started to cry again. You nodded, your voice coming out a quiet whimper, your lips quivering, "Yes." You needed to. As much as you knew it would rip your heart out, you needed that closure to start to heal. That much you knew.

He took your hand and started to lead you into the room as you grasped at his arm with your other hand tightly. As you got closer, you started to tremble, your breaths came deeper and shaky, your heart pounding as you shut your eyes tight. You opened them again, when Chris's steps slowed and stopped in front of the casket.

You saw him and for a moment, it was like time had frozen. He was wearing a silver suit with a burgundy tie, his long hair slicked and pulled back. He looked so peaceful, like he was sleeping... So handsome. A part of you wished he would just sit up and take you in his arms.

You covered your mouth and squeezed your eyes shut hard and there was no holding back, your crying shaking your body. Chris had an arm around you, holding you close, his head against yours as he cried along with you. You opened your eyes again and wiped them. You slid your letter in his jacket over his heart, then placed a light hand over it as you continued to softly sob and gaze at his face once more. You kissed his forehead for a long beat and whispered, "I love you." Then you walked away.

The service itself was closed casket, it being open earlier only for those wanting to say goodbye during the viewing period. During the remaining time, you just sat there with Chris's arm around your shoulders, like and empty, wet-eyed shell. You only cried again at the burial site when they started to lower him into the ground. He's really gone now.

Everyone stayed in hotels that night before they would fly back in the morning. You, Chris and Sharon went to Sebastian's parents'. After dinner, you were talking with Seb's parents; all of you trying to have a normal conversation. Sharon, leaned into Chris and spoke quietly, "Can I talk to you?"

His eyebrows pulled up, "Uh, yeah. Sure." They both got up from their seats and Chris addressed the rest of you, "Excuse us for a moment." He and Sharon left the room and went to the front porch.

Sharon took a deep breath as her eyes welled up, "I'm gonna go back home."

Chris's brows furrowed, "Uh-- Why?"

She didn't see any sense in beating around the bush, "I can see how much you love her. We aren't going to work if your heart belongs to her. I guess I fooled myself. I saw it when we first started dating. Once she was with Sebastian I thought you had gotten past it. You hid it well, Chris. I just hope your weren't lying to yourself too." She was crying softly and sniffling now.

He pressed his lips together and his eyebrows pulled up in the center, "Sharon, I--" He sighed. She was right, but he didn't want to hurt her. He wanted to say something to make things better, but she was right. No hiding it now. "I'm so sorry.", was all he could manage. He never liked hurting anyone, ever. He felt like shit, but he believed he deserved to after leading her along like that... All in the name of trying to protect himself. _'You're a fuckin' dick, Evans.'_ , he cursed himself silently.

He helped Sharon gather her things and she said goodbye to everyone, making the excuse that the hospital needed her back by morning to cover a shift. Chris escorted her outside and into a cab. He hugged her once last time, "I'm so sorry, Sharon. I never meant to hurt you. And I really do love you."

"I know.", she whispered, "But you love her more." She stepped back and forced a smile as she got in the cab. He watched it drive off and sat on the porch for a long while, wondering when all this chaos would end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Third chapter of straight crying for me. I'm still in this with you all.
> 
> I need to hydrate and take a nap. =\
> 
> Love you guys, you're awesome.
> 
> xoxo


	47. Solace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> He helped Sharon gather her things and she said goodbye to everyone, making the excuse that the hospital needed her back by morning to cover a shift. Chris escorted her outside and into a cab. He hugged her once last time, "I'm so sorry, Sharon. I never meant to hurt you. And I really do love you."
> 
> "I know.", she whispered, "But you love her more." She stepped back and forced a smile as she got in the cab. He watched it drive off and sat on the porch for a long while, wondering when all this chaos would end.

Over the next couple of months Chris was incredibly patient, kind and caring with you.

You let yourself cry when you needed to, but had also started letting yourself enjoy some happiness as well. You knew how important both things were on the road to healing... But you would never forget or stop loving... Just accept. You still slept in your own bed, cuddling Sebastian's pillows and wearing his shirts, but the scent of him had started fading. You still cried yourself to sleep once or twice a week, missing him.

Neither you or Chris had started going through nor packing up Sebastian's things to send to his parents yet. His Mom had told you both to take your time and feel free to keep anything that you found sentimental. Soon though; it needed to be done.

You also didn't have contact with Chris more than a traditional friendship; you still felt you belonged to Sebastian. Enter Chris's unwavering patience.

He put his own needs to be close to you aside and put your needs first. He had tried a few times over those months to hold you, cuddle you, get a little flirty, affectionate or love on you like he used to, before he ever met Sharon. But, you would politely decline and he always respected when you asked him to stop. He thought it was kind of strange seeing as how you seemed to be close right when Sebastian passed, but that faded quickly when the two of you returned home after the funeral. But, then again, he understood that grieving made no sense, it wasn't predictable.

So, he would let you decide when you were ready to be close again, but he would still gently test the waters periodically. It hurt him that you didn't want him close, but he knew nothing could ever go further than even the close friends you used to be if he ever tried to force it. He didn't want to lose you again in any of the ways he had in the past. So, he would wait...

And when he laid in bed at night, he would think about being able to hold you again, sleep with you in his arms again, to eventually give you a real kiss, one that was at the right time. He would imagine making love to you...and sometimes he imagined fucking you passionately. He thought about taking care of you as his own girl, with all the care, protection and attentiveness you deserved. He imagined you looking into his eyes with so much love for him... But, for now... He would wait to be with you. Not only for you to be ready, which he prayed you would be someday, but to be ready himself. He was, after all, in love with his late best friend's girl and he still felt it was too soon. You both needed to heal more and there needed to be time passed in order to not disrespect the relationship you and Sebastian had.

Chris had gone for a run with Sam and Clint at the park one Saturday morning while he let you sleep in. When he came home, he went to check on you but didn't find you in your bed.

He called out for you. You called back that you were downstairs, but your voice sounded distressed. He jogged down the stairs quickly, seeing Sebastian's bedroom door open when it was always kept closed. His heart fell, realizing where you must be as he reached the bottom of the steps.

He stepped in the doorway of Sebastian's room, finding you sitting on the edge of the made bed, tears running down your face, your breathing heavy and deep. You were staring at the floor, several pieces of clothing clutched in your hands. There were other pieces of clothing strewn all over the bed and floor, dresser drawers open haphazardly, glimpses of fabrics hanging all over them.

"(Y/N)...", Chris looked pained as he went to you, sat beside you and put an arm around your shoulders. He ducked his head down, trying to make eye contact with you.

You held your breath and then let it out in a heavy sigh as the tears multiplied more quickly, falling from your eyes. Your voice was quiet and shaky, "It doesn't smell like him anymore. Nothing does." Chris's face twisted in hurt for you. He said nothing, just wrapped his arms around you and gently guided your head to his shoulder as you started crying, "I almost can't remember his face. The sound of his voice is already gone... It's like I'm losing him all over again. And I haven't even recovered from the first time." You sobbed more heavily.

He stroked your hair. God, he wished he could just take your pain away, it was torture to watch you go through, "I know, sweetheart. I know.", he cooed.

You gathered yourself and you both cleaned up all the clothes and put them back in the dresser, not bothering to fold them... Not today; when things were packed.

Chris took your hand and led you out of the bedroom, shutting the door again. He pulled you to him with a hand at the back of your head and kissed it, "Let's go get you some breakfast, sweetie." He then led you up the stairs and asked what you wanted for breakfast.

You sat at the island and slumped in your seat, "What I really want is pizza. Too bad we can't order any yet." You puckered your lips disappointment.

"I can go buy you a frozen one and bake it.", he smiled softly, his palms down on the island leaning forward in your direction from the other side of the island.

"No, that's too much trouble, Chris."

He folded his arms and rested his elbows on the counter, causing him to lean even closer to you. He still displayed the same smile, he tilted his head and blinked slowly at you, "Nothing's too much trouble for you, sweetheart."

That got a coy little smile out of you. He just made you feel something... You hadn't felt very much of anything for months. You instinctively tilted your chin down a little, your gaze shifted down to one side and then you blinked as your eyes met his again.

His smile had gotten even bigger at your subtle response. He was damn near grinning now. _'Was that...'_ , he thought, _'Was that a tiny spark? Did she just- flirt with me?'_ He reminded himself to not get too excited, take it easy, small steps for you both. But at least he felt a step closer to getting his little cuddle buddy back.

You were still smiling a little, "You're so good to me, Chris." His face softened a bit as you got up to round the island while you continued, "I'll just get some cereal. I'm sure you'd like to get a shower."

His brows pulled up in the center as he straightened and faced you when you opened the cupboard, "You sure? I can even go grab drive thru if you just don't wanna wait to eat. You could come with and eat in the car." You chuckled as you put a bowl down and closed the cupboard, then opened the drawer in front of you for a spoon.

Did he want to test the waters again?... He did. How could he not want to after how you just responded to his affectionate words? That cute little gesture had him greedy for more.

He took two steps, stopping behind you and you felt his body brush against your backside. You could feel the heat radiating from him as he spoke, "I really don't mind, hon." He lightly stroked your arm with a soft hand.

You felt a wave of butterflies in your stomach, immediately followed by a twinge of guilt. You gently pushed his touch down and away with your opposite hand as you turned just enough to smile up at him, "Cereal's fine. Thank you though." You continued what you were doing.

He feigned a smile and took a step back. _'Shit. That was too much. I may have just fucked up any progress between us. Awesome.'_ , he thought. He leaned back against the island and folded his arms, trying to shake off your rejection and be happy, "Okay, we can get pizza for lunch or dinner- or both. Whatever you want. I'll get that shower now."

A few nights passed and you laid in bed a long while and couldn't sleep. A moment later it appeared as though Chris couldn't sleep either, because you heard his TV come alive with quiet sounds, the glow of it drifting out of his doorway, illuminating the kitchen slightly.

He had been thinking about you again like he always did. This time his focus was on just missing you sleeping in his arms, smelling your hair. That alone could lull him to dream land right now. He needed you close.

You needed him near as well. But, would you feel okay with it now? You didn't want to reject Chris's affections again, especially if you initiated. But, you felt like you'd held back long enough and his embrace had always helped you sleep. Now the need felt too strong to ignore.

He wasn't expecting you to show up in his doorway. He sat up, "Something wrong, hon?"

You shook your head and replied softly as you stepped closer to the bed, "No."

You watched him for any signs of disapproval of your actions while you lifted the covers. He just watched you climb into his bed. When you scooted close to his side, his heart skipped a beat when your leg touched his. He looked at you, his eyes flitting back and forth between each of yours. He was trying to read your intentions.

You put your head and hand against his chest and pushed gently to urge him to lay down and he did.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes in relief and gratitude as he wrapped his arms around you securely. You snaked an arm over his ribs and took in a deep breath of his scent. It calmed you, but also made you feel as though you had denied yourself this comfort for longer than you should have. Then you thought about his comfort.

You started to tear up a little and it was apparent in your voice, "I'm sorry, Chris. I'm sorry I haven't been there for you as much as you needed."

"Shhhh, it's okay, sweetheart. Just sleep." He kissed your head and then nuzzled it with his cheek. He was just so happy to hold you again... Finally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, sorry. And sorry it's been a while getting you an update. I needed to give myself a sense of time passed after Seb's passing to get to the right emotional and mental state to continue.
> 
> Roll call!
> 
> If you're still reading, give me a shout and leave a comment!
> 
> I lost some readers over the death and it would just be really nice to see how many are still reading. :)
> 
> You guys are awesome, thanks for sticking with me, you'll be glad you did!
> 
> xoxo


	48. Wedge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> You started to tear up a little and it was apparent in your voice, "I'm sorry, Chris. I'm sorry I haven't been there for you as much as you needed."
> 
> "Shhhh, it's okay, sweetheart. Just sleep." He kissed your head and then nuzzled it with his cheek. He was just so happy to hold you again... Finally.

The next morning, you woke up on your back, your leg draped over Chris's. He was sleeping nuzzled into your neck, his arm hugging your middle tight so you were nestled right against him; his favorite way to sleep with you. You found he usually slept holding you like a little teddy bear in one way or another. The thought made you smile.

You laid there thinking about how you felt in this moment.

Good. You felt... Good. This moment felt comfortable... Right. No guilt, no sadness, just being held by him. You relished in the sensation of his warmth. You felt the heat of the morning sun creeping across the bed and onto your legs through the window blind's tilted little slats and sheer white curtains. You just listened to him breathing. You felt safe, secure and even kind of...happy. That made you smile even bigger. You were living in the moment for the first time in months.

You felt a little choked up being able to just live in such a peaceful moment. You turned your head just enough for it to rest against Chris's. He slowly opened his eyes at the touch, but you didn't see since he was so close to your side. You turned your head and placed a hand on the side of his face as you pressed your lips to his forehead.

He took a deep breath as you rolled away and out from under his arm to get up. He lifted his head and rested it in his hand, propped on an elbow. As you scooted off the edge of the bed, he smiled sleepily at your back, "Morning, sweetheart."

You turned, surprised at his voice, but you smiled, "Oh. Heh. Hi."

You started for the door and he pouted, "Hey, you don't have to leave..."

You left the room and called back before you shut the bathroom door, "I do if you don't want me to pee in your bed."

He chuckled and let his head fall back on the pillows. He felt so happy right now.

You returned from the bathroom and crawled back in the bed as Chris welcomed you back with a big smile and open arms. You laid on your back again, your head in the crook of his shoulder. He tickled your arm, "So, what you wanna do today?"

You thought. "Well, first, I'd like to say thank you."

He tilted his head, looking inquisitive, "For what?"

You rested your hand on the forearm of his tickling hand, "You've been so patient and kind to me. Even when I'm sure there were times you wanted to shake me and tell me to snap out of it."

He scoffed, offended, "Hon, I would never want to do that. Why the hell would you think that?"

You sighed, "I guess because I've wanted to do it to myself sometimes."

He rested his cheek against your head, "(Y/N), I get it. You're working through a huge loss. You aren't always going to be yourself through it. You need time."

You turned so you could look up at him, "So do you, Chris." He was way more level than you, but you knew he still had his own healing to do.

He pressed his lips together and simply said, "Yep."

He kissed your head and the both of you just layed there a while before getting up. You both decided to go out for breakfast... In your pajamas... Because you were feeling lazy... And you didn't care what all the judgmental, properly dressed people thought. You and Chris had scheduled a few days off work to keep burnout at bay, which Pepper and Tony encouraged all their employees to do from time to time.

Chris drove to the local pancake house, kind of a mom and pop meets Vegas looking place. You were seated immediately, since it was the middle of the week, but not without a disapproving look at the pajama clad legs of you and Chris from the older hostess. It didn't keep either of your from being sweet and polite though. You sat across the booth from each other, keeping your coats on since it was early enough that there was still a chill in the place.

You had only started browsing your menus when the waitress came over immediately with a pot of coffee and greeted you both, "Morning! How we doing? Coffee?"

"Yes, please.", Chris answered and she started pouring in the two mugs at the table as he continued. "We're doing really good, thanks." He slid the bowl of flavored creamers in your direction with a swipe of his hand, then he winked at your and smiled softly. He turned his attention back to the waitress and asked, "How are you?", he grinned. God, he was so nice. How many people inquired how their server was doing after being asked the same question. You loved that about him. He was so kind to everyone.

"Oh, ha.", the waitress looked like she actually blushed a little and she had a hard time keeping eye contact with him. But who wouldn't blush? He was a gorgeous _and_ sweet. "No one ever asks me that. I'm good, thank you. I'll give you two a minute to look over the menu." She turned and left.

You smirked at him.

"What?", he inquired, taking a sip from his coffee.

"She likes you.", your quirked an eyebrow, opening a tiny cup of creamer.

"Meh.", he shrugged and set his cup down.

You noticed your cup was too full to add creamer, so you pushed it towards him, "Can you please?"

Without even needing any further explanation, he took the cup and sipped it down a bit. You couldn't stand the taste of black coffee and sometimes forgot to ask servers to leave you room for cream. This had been a regular thing between you and the guys at restaurants since you could remember. He slid the cup back to you and you thanked him, pouring in the little cup of creamer and opened another as he continued his thoughts.

"I don't notice. I'm a bit preoccupied.", he said nonchalant. You were too busy adding a second creamer to notice his affectionate expression, which turned to amusement when he saw you open and add a third container. He huffed out a laugh and shook his head slightly, "You always use so many of those."

"What?", you chuckled, adding a fourth, "There's only like, three drops in each one." Your attention turned back to his previous statement as you stirred your coffee and set the spoon down, "So what are you preoccupied with?" You took a sip of your coffee, looking at him over your cup and then put the cup back on it's saucer.

The way he was looking at you was... peaceful, laced with awe, "You."

Your sighed, but pressed your lips together, breaking eye contact. After sleeping next to him and feeling in good spirits this morning, you thought you were past this discomfort with him; apparently not. Maybe because he seemed to be professing having feelings for you? You weren't sure, but that's what it felt like.

His face fell, "Sorry." He said quietly, rested a fist against his mouth and looked down at his menu.

"Chris.", you reached across the table and touched his hand. He looked at you blankly.

The waitress came back during this most awkward moment, pen and pad in hand, "Okay, what can I get you?"

You looked at her, "I'm sorry, we need another minute.", you smiled softly at her and she responded politely and walked away. You got up from the booth and Chris watched you. You stepped to his side and slid in the seat next to him, his gaze going to the menu in his hand again. You slid your arm around his back, the other hand placed on his bicep. You laid your head on his shoulder. For a few seconds, he didn't move. Then he put his hand over yours on his arm and rested his head against yours.

After a moment he asked softly, "What are you going to have?"

Over the next few weeks, he had given you a little breathing room; close friends, but no fawning over you or flirting. He found it helped things be better between you, but it was getting a little harder to be patient.

On a Friday, you and Chris went to a movie with Sam, Maria, Nat and Bruce. He payed for you, of course, and bought you whatever snacks he could get you to admit to wanting.

You all got into the theater and picked your seats, Chris guiding you up the steps and along the isle with his hand at your lower back. You and Chris sat in the middle, Nat to your other side, Sam to Chris's. Maria and Bruce were on the outsides, next to their respective partners.

The dim lights were up since there was a few minutes left until the previews started.

You tried really hard not to eat the popcorn Chris was holding, his attention on Sam talking. It was always so hard to wait until the actual movie started.

Nat nudged you. And when you turned around, Bruce asked you, "Hey, you guys wanna come to our house for dinner tomorrow?"

"Um, I think that should be okay." You looked at Chris to ask him, but was he still talking with Sam. You turned back and said, "We'll ask when he's not busy.", you chuckled.

You talked with Nat and Bruce, then Chris for a moment before the movie started. He enthusiastically agreed to the dinner invitation.

About halfway through the movie, you and Chris had polished off all the popcorn and candy he bought. He set the candy box in the popcorn container on the floor, partially under his seat. His rested a hand on his leg, the other arm on the armrest between you.

You glanced at him out of the corner of your eye. Then you reached over to hold his hand. He smiled at you and let go just long enough to lift the armrest back from between you both and put his arm around you. He held your hand again, but with his other hand now, resting on his thigh.

You put your head back against his shoulder and turned your head into his neck to smell his cologne, lightly grazing his skin with your nose. Nat glanced at you and cocked and eyebrow as Chris closed his eyes and tried to level himself since your touch was a little too arousing. You settled into him and continued watching.

Once you and Chris got home, he went in his room and kicked off his shoes. You went to the kitchen and got a bottle of water from the fridge. All that salty popcorn made you really thirsty. You leaned your front against the island as you drank, then setting the bottle down. Chris came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your middle, his chin on your shoulder. He curled his fingers open and closed lightly against your stomach as he spoke softly, "You ready for bed, beautiful?"

His touch against your stomach stirred something in you down below... And then the guilt came again.

You removed his hands and slowly squirmed out of his embrace, "I dunno."

You took a step away and looked up at him tentatively.

His jaw was clenched and he looked agitated, "(Y/N), I've been trying really hard to give you what you need, but you're all over the place and I don't even know where the hell I stand with you." You felt the sting and tightening of impending tears in your throat. His voice was getting louder, more irritated with every word and becoming more shrill with frustration as he went on. "One minute your nuzzling my neck and driving me crazy and the next, you don't even want me touching you! I can't tell if I'm coming or going here, (Y/N)!"

The tears were welling up now, "I'm really confused, okay? What do you want from me, Chris?"

His own eyes were becoming glossy with emotion now, "I want to be with you. I want you to be mine." He took a step towards you.

You shut your eyes tight as you matched his step, away from him. His words made your heart ache, "I can't do that." You opened your eyes and they met his again.

His brows furrowed, his eyes pleading with you, "Why?"

"Because a part of me still belongs to Sebastian.", your expression was pained.

He pressed his lips together, nodded and quietly said, "Okay." He turned, went into his room and shut the door.

You started crying more, only allowing yourself quiet sobs. You walked to the living room, laid on the couch, pulling a blanket over youself and you silently cried yourself to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, these two. I feel so bad for them both. :(
> 
> Thanks for the comments and kudos!
> 
> xoxo


	49. The Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> His own eyes were becoming glossy with emotion now, "I want to be with you. I want you to be mine." He took a step towards you.
> 
> You shut your eyes tight as you matched his step, away from him. His words made your heart ache, "I can't do that." You opened your eyes and they met his again.
> 
> His brows furrowed, his eyes pleading with you, "Why?"
> 
> "Because a part of me still belongs to Sebastian.", your expression was pained.
> 
> He pressed his lips together, nodded and quietly said, "Okay." He turned, went into his room and shut the door.
> 
> You started crying more, only allowing yourself quiet sobs. You walked to the living room, laid on the couch, pulling a blanket over youself and you silently cried yourself to sleep.

You woke up on the couch, your head cloudy from the emotional night before. You sat up and blinked a few times. You wondered if Chris was home when you heard the coffee pot being removed from the coffee maker and replaced a moment later. You then wondered what he had been thinking since what you said to him last night. He didn't really give you any indication before he left for his room. After a few moments of mustering up the courage, you headed for the kitchen.

Chris was at the table, drinking coffee and reading a newspaper. You guessed he had already left and come back while you were sleeping since you guys didn't get a paper delivered. When he caught your movement out of the corner of his eye, he looked at you and nodded, "Morning.", he said flatly and went back to his paper.

"Morning.", you watched him for a beat before heading to the coffee maker yourself. You poured yourself a cup and went to the table sitting next to him. His gaze never left the paper in his hand. You started, nervously, "Chris. I'm really sorry I'm putting you through all this." His eyes started traveling around anything in front of him as he listened, but he didn't look at you. You took a breath and waited. When you got no response, you continued, "I just- I just need some time to figure out how I feel about everything."

He nodded, "I know. Which is why I'm gonna take the temporary transfer to Ohio that Tony offered me a week ago to establish a new office. I should be back in three or four months. I'll leave in a week." He downed the rest of his coffee and stood, leaving the paper and taking his cup, still not affording you even a glance as he headed for the sink.

Panic swept over you. What did he say?! He's leaving?! He's been the one thing that made everything feel tolerable, safe and now he's leaving?! The tears came quickly as you stood and stared him down with hurt in your eyes, feeling abandoned already. You could only manage a whisper, "What?"

"I think it's the best thing for us both, (Y/N)." He finally looked at you, his eyes regretful. "I don't think what we're doing here is healthy. We need some time apart." His thoughts continued, _'And it's killing me.'_

You blinked out a few tears, you were desperate now, "Chris, you can't leave me." Your chest was heaving, "I need you."

He hung his head, shaking it and closed his eyes, "I've tried to be there for you." His eyes met yours again, "But you keep shutting me out. And you're not the only one who lost someone, (Y/N). I needed you too. I can't keep doing this. It's tearing me apart and it's just making you more confused."

You started really crying now. You couldn't think of anything to say. He came to you and hugged you. Even though you felt angry enough with him to punch him, you hugged him back, desperate to cling to him, for him not to leave you. He stroked your hair, "I really think this is the best for both of us, sweetheart. You can stay here if you want, otherwise, I'm gonna find someone to take care of the house while I'm gone."

You stepped back out of his arms. You went to your room, shut the door, slipped on your shoes, grabbed your phone and charger.

When you came back out and Chris saw you going for your keys and then the door, he followed, begging you, "(Y/N), please don't leave like this." He grabbed your arm just as you reached the door.

You jerked out of his grasp and opened the door, "I'm not the one leaving!", you spat through tears, walked out the door and slammed it behind you. You ran to your car blubbering, which luckily was behind Chris's in the driveway. You drove away.

Chris was left standing at the door, his chest heaving, his fists clenched.

He had been mulling over Tony's offer all week. He finally accepted after last night that some time apart would help you both sort through things. He knew it wasn't going to be easy for either of you for him to break his decision to you and explaning why. It ripped at his soul to feel like he was abondoning you and hurting you. But, the two of you just couldn't go on like this anymore, it was just making things worse. He felt like the only hope of saving your friendship and anything he could have with you beyond that required some time to think straight, for both of you. Even though he was trying to do the right thing, he couldn't help but feeling that he had just lost you anyway.

"FUCK!", he yelled out.

The phone rang in the seat next to you. You didn't answer it because you were driving. You were sure it was Chris. A moment later you heard the voicemail notification sound and kept driving. You didn't even know where you were going yet. You pulled over in a parking lot as soon as you could to finish crying and calm down. Your mother had always told you _'Don't drive upset.'_

Once you were calm enough, you went to a motel for the day... And maybe even the night. You didn't know if you wanted to talk to anyone about this yet. You didn't even know what the fuck to make of it all. When you were at the front desk, your phone rang again. It was Chris... Again. You ignored it. You didn't want to speak to the most important person to you, who you felt just betrayed you and dropped you like a rock. Once you got in your room. You sat on the bed and cried so hard you could barely breath. You laid down, curled up into a ball and sobbed out loud to yourself, "Why does everyone keep leaving me?" The phone rang again, but you were so busy wailing your heart out that you hardly even noticed. Your crying quieted after a few minutes, but your breath was hitching every few moments as you just lay there like a limp pile of despair. _'What am I gonna do now?'_

Your phone rang a fourth time and you blinked long at the shrill sound in the silence now. You sat up to look at it and it was Nat. You answered instinctively. "Hello?", you sniffed, trying to sound normal.

"(Y/N)! Are you okay?! What the fuck is going on?! Chris called me freaking out saying you stormed off bawling and that you haven't been answering your phone! Are you okay?! You've scared the shit out of us!"

You sighed. Great. "Yes, Nat, I'm fine."

"Where are you?"

"In a motel."

"Which motel?"

"Nat, I'm not ready to be around anyone. I'm not gonna tell you where I am so you can come rescue me."

"Fine.", she said, a little pissed. "I won't come get you, but at least tell me where you are so someone knows, for safety's sake."

You were hip to her tricks of wordplay and semantics. "Don't send anyone else either. Especially Chris."

Her voice was calmer now, "(Y/N), listen to me. I know you're really, really hurting over this. But he loves you and he's just trying to do what's right for you both. He told me vaguely what's going on. That the two of you really can't tell which way is up with each other and that it's pushing you both apart. You aren't going to be alone. You have your other friends. You can even stay here if you want. It's just a break period, okay? I think he's got the right idea. You both need to sort yourselves out without the distraction of worrying about the other."

"Did he tell you that he loves me?"

"Well, no, but this is me you're talking to; I can read people like books. He's head over heels for you. He'd do anything for you... Like what he's decided to do now. Do you really think he wants to leave you, in that house, by yourself while he's states away? He doesn't want to be away from you at all, (Y/N). I've seen how he feels for you for a long time... Even before you were with Seb."

You bit both your lips into your mouth at the mention of Sebastian... And her admittance of seeing Chris's love for you.

She continued, "And you love him too, (Y/N)."

You choked on a sob.

"Don't you?"

You kept biting your lips for a beat and then nodded, immediately realizing that she couldn't hear a nod. Or maybe she could... It's Nat. You whimpered out as you were crying again, "Yes." You sniffed and wiped at your nose, "But, Nat, what if him leaving makes what we do have fall apart beyond repair? I'm so scared of that. And I would miss him like hell. I already lost a baby... And Seb. I don't know what I'd do if we never fit into each other's lives again. And I feel like even feeling that way towards Chris is disloyal to Seb."

"Baby," her raspy voice cooed over the line, "all Seb would want is for you to be happy, no matter what that means."

You squeezed your eyes shut and got painfully choked up.

"That's why you need a break though. You need to work through those feelings and come to terms with the fact that it's okay for you to have a happy life without him. In fact, it's necessary. Chris needs time because I'm sure being so close to you, so close to that chance that he could be with you, without actually being able to have what he needs to happy? I'm sure it's torture for him, hon. As far as the rest, it's always a possibility that things won't go well, though I think that possibility is ridiculously insignificant. But, if things keep going the way they have been, I think you're guaranteed to be driven apart."

You sighed heavily, your breath catching as you did.

She spoke again, "So, please, tell me where you are and then either come over here or go home to Chris. And _call him_. He's worried sick about you."

"Okay.", you agreed. "I'll call him and then come over to your house."

You told her where you were and disconnected the call. You took a deep breath to level yourself and dialed Chris. Your heart was pounding as it started to ring. He picked up after the first one.

"(Y/N)?!", his voice sounded like he'd been crying himself.

"Yeah."

"Thank God. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm safe."

"I- Wh- Where are you? Can I come see you?"

You started to cry again, "I- I can't."

His voice was pained, "Please don't cry, baby. I'm so sorry I hurt you."

You squeezed your eyes shut tight. His words and what he called you yanked at your heart painfully. He had never called you that.

He heard you sobbing softly and pleaded, "Please tell me where you are."

You whimpered through your crying, "I can't. If I see you again before you leave, it's just going to hurt even more."

"I don't have to leave."

"Yes, Chris, you do. You know you do and now, so do I. Just come back to me. I can't lose you too."

You could actually hear his love for you when he spoke, "I will, sweetheart."

He prayed that nothing would stop him from keeping his word to you... And that he could convince you to see him before he left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chris is taking charge to save the relationship and Nat is there to try to save his ass again. This time she actually managed to do it. 
> 
> And more angsty feels. Sigh. Ugh. We're getting to happier stuff soon... Hang in there.
> 
> Please leave a comment and let me know what you think. Comments help me become a better writer and they keep me wanting to keep writing for you!
> 
> Just a heads up, next week I'll be starting training for a race. My updates may slow slightly as a result. So if they don't come as quickly, please be patient. Promise I'll get them out as fast as I can.
> 
> Much love, you guys are the most awesome readers a girl could ask for!
> 
> xoxo


	50. Tipping The Scales

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> You whimpered through your crying, "I can't. If I see you again before you leave, it's just going to hurt even more."
> 
> "I don't have to leave."
> 
> "Yes, Chris, you do. You know you do and now, so do I. Just come back to me. I can't lose you too."
> 
> You could actually hear his love for you when he spoke, "I will, sweetheart."
> 
> He prayed that nothing would stop him from keeping his word to you... And that he could convince you to see him before he left.

You gave yourself some time to think and just be alone before heading to Nat's house. Once you got there, she got you some coffee and sat you down at her table.

"Have you eaten yet?", she asked as she sat at the table with her own mug.

"Oh.", you huffed softly. "No." In all the commotion you hadn't even thought of it.

"What can I get you?", she stood and headed for her fridge.

"Maybe just some toast and juice for now?", you stood and followed her. "I can get it, Nat."

"It's no trouble, hon.", she waved you off as she pulled a loaf of bread from the cupboard. "Go sit down." You did as told and she continuted, dropping two slices of bread into the toaster and pressing the button down, "So, I can take you over in a little bit to get some clothes... Or you can just go home until Chris leaves..."

You sighed, "He asked you to convince me to come home, didn't he?"

She closed her eyes lazily, tilted her head and cocked an eyebrow in hesitant confession then turned to the fridge and opened it.

"I really don't think I can, Nat."

She held up a jar of strawberry jam and widened her eyes in question if you wanted some while she inquired, "Why not?"

"Yes, thank you.", you answered her silent question, then her spoken one, "I dunno. I just- like, I'm still kinda mad at him for even thinking about leaving, even though logic and your convincing now tells me that it's what needs to happen. Still doesn't hurt any less. I relied on Seb to always be there, then he was gone. Once Seb was gone, I thought for sure Chris would be there. He even told me that he was there for me. Now he's gonna leave? Plus, if I see him, I'm just gonna break down again and it's gonna hurt for us to part _again_."

The toast popped and she grabbed a slice, smearing jam on it, "Things people say they're going to do change, (Y/N). Especially if there is a way they can do something that is in your better interest compared to what they said before. I wish you could see that he really is trying his best to take care of you... And be there for you, like he said. Big picture, babe. You gotta focus on that. Because that's what's going to determine where you end up in conjunction with him in the future." She grabbed orange juice from the fridge and poured it into a small glass as she continued, "Plus, why are you so afraid to feel, (Y/N)?" She made eye contact as she brought the plate and glass to you, setting it in front of you, then sat in her seat.

You took a sip of juice and picked up a piece of the toast, "Because it fuckin' hurts, Nat. Seriously?" You felt taken aback by her question. You thought the answer would be so obvious. "Plus, I don't want him to hurt either. We've both had enough hurting over the last few months." You took a huge bite of toast, savoring the slight tartness in the sweet jam.

Nat tilted her head, "Of course it hurts and I know you don't want him to hurt either. But, think of it this way- I'm gonna go big picture on you again here." She took a quick sip of her coffee and shifted in her seat to sit straighter and face you more. "Feeling that pain, that longing when he leaves, it will just validate how much he means to you. Feeling those feelings help us to remember, to not take for granted. And he would benefit in the same way. The more those feeling come up, the more we remember what we have. I think it might actually strengthen what you both have, so that it's strong while you're apart. He's your best friend. I know you want to see him based on that alone."

You took another bite and narrowed your eyes at her warily, chewing slowly. She was doing it again; swaying you. She was pretty damn convincing. You did really want to see Chris again, but she was right; you were _afraid_ to feel what would come with it and who in their right mind would be okay with contributing to their friend's emotional discomfort. But, she had a point. And at least this way, you could actually part on good terms.

You took a drink of juice and sighed at her, "I'll think about it."

"Okay.", she nodded. "I can go pack you a bag soon. You think you're gonna stay at the house while he's gone?"

You huffed out a breath, "Bad enough being there with Seb gone. I can't stay there without Chris too."

"Sweet. You'll stay with us then. We can go get you whatever you need from the house when needed while you're here." She took another drink of coffee and got up to grab the pot for refills.

You scratched at a random itch on your head, "Where is Bruce?"

"Oh, he's out golfing with Clint." She filled your mug three quarters and set down the creamer container on the table while she chortled, "Those ol' men." She returned the pot to the coffee maker and made it halfway back to you and clapped once, "So! We've got a whole Saturday together! Whadda ya wanna do?"

"Well,", you chortled. "First I need a new change of clothes.", you gestured at the shirt and pants you had on from yesterday. "And maybe a shower and some makeup. Then a movie and mall cruising?"

"Oh, right. Bag first." She sat in her chair, "You wanna come?", she sneaked in nonchalant as she took a sip from her mug.

You sighed and shook your head playfully, "Stop it, Nat. I said I'll think about seeing him, okay?" Just then, your phone buzzed on the table. It was a text from Chris.

_'You gonna come get a bag today? I need to hug that pretty face.'_

You had told him before you got off the phone with him at the motel earlier that you would stay at Nat's for a bit.

His words made you smile a little. Between him and Nat, you weren't sure you wouldn't give in before Chris left. He was acting so sweet and caring; it made you want to be near him again. What you didn't know is that he felt desperate to see you now, to hold you and connect again after the sour event between you. He was actually holding back on how much he really wanted to hound you to come home. He didn't want to push you away further. Nat also kept making terribly valid points. Still, you weren't sure, but you were keeping your word to Nat; you were thinking about it.

You replied, _'Nat's gonna come get it for me.'_ You punctuated your statement with a smiley face.

After more gabbing and coffee, Natasha left you at her house watching TV to go pack you a bag. She got to the front door of your house and knocked. Chris answered, greeted her and let her in, closing the door behind her. He shoved his hands in his jeans pockets and looked at her expectantly, "So? How's it going?"

Nat pursed her lips and raised her eyebrows, "She's not budging, but she said she'll think about it."

He sighed heavily, "Okay. Thanks for trying to help, Nat. And thanks for letting her stay with you while I'm gone. It means a lot to me." He leaned forward and hugged her.

She returned the gesture, "I know it does, Chris. You're welcome."

Chris released her and stepped towards the coat rack, picking up your suitcase, then moving to the door again, "I'll carry this to your car."

Nat furrowed her brows in amusement, pointing, "You packed that for her?"

He nodded and smirked slightly, "Yeah."

Nat nodded back and smiled, "I think that'll earn you some points." She chuckled.

Chris sighed, lips pressed together, "I sure hope so."

When Nat got back to her house, she lugged the suitcase into the house. Seeing her struggle as she came in the door, you jumped up off the couch to help her. She grunted, "Jesus Christ, what's in here?!" She huffed and dropped it to the floor with a thud.

You looked confused, "What do you mean? Didn't you pack it?"

"No.", she panted, hands on her hips. "Chris did. Had it all ready when I got there."

You smiled a little, your brows pulled together in sentiment, "He did?"

"Yep!", she chirped.

Damn it. He's wearing you down. Whether he's trying to or not, he's wearing you down.

Nat headed for the kitchen, "I need some water. I damn near broke my back gettin' it up the fuckin' steps." She hitched a thumb behind her. "Let me know if you need help with that thing."

You did manage to drag it upstairs to the office where you'd be staying. Nat came up shortly after.

"I have to see what is in that thing." She plopped down on the sofa as you tipped it down on its side on the floor, knelt and unzipped it, letting the lid fall back.

There, on the top, was one of Sebastian's pillows that you still cuddled when you slept. On top of the pillow, was a neatly folded t-shirt... it was one of Chris's shirts, with a note on it. _'Feel free to replace for another as often as needed. I'm leaving plenty for you at the house, along with a new bottle of my cologne. Miss you, sweetheart. Hope I get to see you before I go. xoxo'_

You were grinning like an idiot. Damn it! He's doing it again. You're conviction is wearing thin.

Nat leaned forward, elbows on her knees, "What does it say?"

You handed her the note and held the shirt to your nose and took in a soft breath. Yep, just like Chris. Well, at least you'd have some familiar comforts while he was gone. God, he was so sweet and considerate.

Nat echoed your thoughts when she handed the note back, "That's ridiculously sweet." She cocked an eyebrow at you, "Are you starting to see it now?"

You nodded and took a deep breath, holding the shirt in your lap now, "Yeah. Still hard to feel okay about though."

"You'll get there.", she winked at you.

You went through the stratigically and neatly packed suitcase, giving Nat a commentary as you slightly moved things just enough to see what was under them and then placing them back down. "He crammed everything in here; books, movies, my current crochet project bag, my makeup bag, toiletries, a few pairs of shoes, boots, swim suit." You chuckled at that. "Looks like maybe two week's worth of clothes, all rolled tight to fit. The army taught him well, huh?" There seemed to be no space at all wasted. "Oh my God-"

Nat's brows shot up, "What?!"

"He had to touch my underwear to pack them. Is that weird?" You scrunched your face at her.

She rolled her eyes, "No. It's only creepy if they're not clean... Or if he put them on his head, over his face and danced around your room naked. And honestly, I think he's too romantic for that creeper stuff. I think he'd only want a sniff if they were on your hot little body."

"Jesus, Nat!", you scoffed and threw a pair of socks at her face, which she dodged. "You're so..."

"Honest?", she laughed.

"Shameless!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nat sounds like a therapist or counselor, doesn't she?... Maybe that's her job. We haven't heard what that is yet... So could be, lol. Just a funny thought.
> 
> Chris is already giving me cavities.
> 
> So, my race training will be delayed for another week, so I hope to get you updates quickly still until next week. Sorry this one took so long. I was crazy busy for the last two days and nights.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think. You all are awesome! Thanks for the comments and kudos, they keep me going!
> 
> xoxo


	51. Exchange

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super short chapter, sorry! This week is proving to be crazy busy! I hope to find time to write another chapter tonight.
> 
> REFRESHER:
> 
> She rolled her eyes, "No. It's only creepy if they're not clean... Or if he put them on his head, over his face and danced around your room naked. And honestly, I think he's too romantic for that creeper stuff. I think he'd only want a sniff if they were on your hot little body."
> 
> "Jesus, Nat!", you scoffed and threw a pair of socks at her face, which she dodged. "You're so..."
> 
> "Honest?", she laughed.
> 
> "Shameless!"

Chris worked from home over the next week, knowing that being in the same building with you would be too difficult for him. He would be too tempted to just go see you. And as desperate as he was to see you, he didn't wanna screw anything up by not respecting your wishes. He just hoped and prayed with everything he had that you'd come see him before he left.

The day before Chris was to leave you hadn't shown or contacted him. He was beginning to lose hope. He was all packed and everything was in order. Sam and Maria were also caming over that afternoon for him to go over everything at the house that needed taking care of while he would be gone.

When Sam and Maria arrived, Chris answered the door and greeted them. Just before he was going to invite them in, he saw the top of a head just over the brick wall of the porch, coming from the driveway to the pathway. He furrowed his brows and tilted his head as Sam and Maria paused and started smiling. When you came into full view and started up the stairs, smiling, Sam and Maria stepped aside. Chris's face lit up like the sun and his heart skipped a beat. "Oh my God.", he said softly, chuckling.

Sam grinned, "We brought you something."

Chris walked to you, meeting you at the top of the steps. "Hey.", he murmured, his brows were pulled together in relief and delight, an affectionate smile across his lips. 

"Hey.", you smiled softly. He lifted you off your feet and hugged you so tight that he popped your back. You grunted and chortled, "Ugh. Thank you."

He put you down and released you, hands resting on your arms, "Geez, I'm sorry.", he chuckled. "You okay?"

You laughed softly, "Yeah. It actually felt good."

He wrapped his arms around you, your arms went around his ribs and your head on his chest. It was so good to actually smell him instead of just his shirt that he packed for you. He kissed your head and rested his cheek on it, his voice was quiet, rumbling in his chest, "God, I missed you. I was so afraid I wouldn't see you before I left."

"I missed you too, Chris. And I'm really gonna miss you when you go.", you felt the tightening in your throat that signaled crying wasn't far behind.

"Me too, sweetie. But, it's gonna help us both, okay? I really believe that."

"Me too."

Sam clapped, "Okay, kids! We gotta get all this house stuff and anything else Chris needs to do done. Tony and Pep are throwing a farewell get together for Chris with the inner circle. Let's go!" He waved everyone into the house.

Chris had actually cleaned the whole house over the week and just had to go over stuff with Sam and Maria. There really wasn't anything that needed to be done that day, so Sam and Maria said their goodbyes and that they would see you both at Tony's.

Once they were gone, Chris took your hand, "Come on." He led you back into his room and opened one of the long drawers on the second row in his dresser, "The shirts are here..." He shut it and lightly touched the other drawer on the same row, "And here. And this,", he picked up a bottle of cologne from the dresser top, "is for you." He handed it to you, one side of his mouth hitched in a half smile.

You gave him a big, closed lipped smile and hugged him around his middle. He embraced you in return. You noticed that he was taking a deep breath with his face against your head. You guessed that he was smelling your hair and it gave you an idea. You stepped back and gave him a smile, scrunching your nose.

"Good Lord, you're so cute. I've missed that this week.", he beamed at your adorable expression. Then he frowned, "And I've got at least three months ahead without it. Boo."

You chuckled, "Hey, you aren't the only one who's gonna suffer." You took his hand, leading him into your room. You had many bottles of perfume and body sprays on your dresser and gestured to them, "Which one's your favorite?"

He chuckled, "I don't know. I don't know which smell belongs to which bottle."

"So,", you squinted an eye at him in playful suspicion, "does that mean you do have a favorite?"

He nodded, smiling just a little, his face was soft, "Yeah." He blinked slowly at you, "my favorite is the one you wear every day."

His demeanor and words were giving you butterflies. You nodded with a soft smile and looked over the bottles, guiding a finger around the top of them to find it. You plucked up a cylindrical, tall, slender, dimpled glass bottle filled with an amber liquid and donning a brown cap. You removed the cap, spritzed a small bit on the inside of your wrist and rubbed it against you other wrist a few times to warm it and strengthen the smell as he watched you.

You held your wrist up to him and he looked in your eyes for a beat and then leaned over, the tip of his nose barely touching your wrist. Your heart skipped a beat as he took in a soft breath through his nose and closed his eyes at the familiar scent. He pulled back slowly and opened his eyes. As he gazed at you, he nodded and licked his lips, biting the bottom one for a beat. His voice was low, "Yeah. That's the one."

Okay, that got intense quickly. It was making you feel a little uncomfortable that the way he was acting was causing your body to react in ways you weren't ready for. You smiled, light-heartedly, trying to change the mood in the room, "Perfect." You replaced the cap and put it in his hand, "Go pack it and get your shower." You started trying to shove him to the doorway and he let you, grinning, as you continued, "We got places to be, big guy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said it's been crazy! I got my dream car! Then... I had to show it off to those I know, of course! The weekend was full if guests. And so much other stuff. Hope things settle now and I can get back to this... And give you all more happy feels.
> 
> Love you guys!
> 
> Thanks for comments and kudos!
> 
> xoxo


	52. Bon Voyage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for mistakes, will fix tomorrow.
> 
> REFRESHER:
> 
> Okay, that got intense quickly. It was making you feel a little uncomfortable that the way he was acting was causing your body to react in ways you weren't ready for. You smiled, light-heartedly, trying to change the mood in the room, "Perfect." You replaced the cap and put it in his hand, "Go pack it and get your shower." You started trying to shove him to the doorway and he let you, grinning, as you continued, "We got places to be, big guy."

After Chris got out of the shower and finished getting himself ready he came to find you sitting in the living room, watching TV. You had already changed to go over to Tony and Pepper's into a long sleeve, ribbed, V-neck sweater with large black and white horizontal stripes. You had on stone washed skinny jeans that disappeared into knee high black heeled boots. Your hair and makeup was already in order from earlier. You were sitting very daintily with your legs crossed, leaning forward a bit, one forearm across your lap, the other elbow on your knee, your chin resting on the loose fist of that same hand.

Chris walked in and stopped in his tracks, raising a mischievous eyebrow. You saw him, switched off the TV with the remote and stood. His eyes then relaxed, and took you in. Every piece of clothing you had on clung to your shape enticingly. When you started walking his direction, he started, "I don't think I've ever seen that outfit before." He smiled as you rounded the love seat.

You chuckled, "Well, you packed most of my usual clothes. You ready?" You headed to the coat rack for your coat when he replied.

"Uh, yeah, hang on. Come with me for a sec." He put a hand to the small of your back and led you to the kitchen. He left you near the island and went into his room. When he came back out, he was holding the bottle that you had given him not too long ago. He handed it to you, "Will you wear this tonight, please? Since I won't be able to actually smell it on you for a while?" He smiled sweetly.

You returned his expression, "Yeah." You pulled up your sleeves, putting a spritz to a wrist and rubbing them both together. You sprayed another spritz into the air and walked through it, capped the bottle and handed it back to him.

He looked into your eyes affectionately as he gently grabbed one of your hands. He lifted it and held your wrist close to his nose. He sniffed softly, closing his eyes... A lot like before, except this time, after he took in the smell, he gently kissed the heel of your hand and opened his eyes too look down at you before his lips left your skin. Your stomach did a flip, then he spoke softly, "Thank you, sweetness."

Your breath hitched, you smiled and blinked coyly. "You're welcome.", you managed quietly. _'Jesus. It's too much. Feeling too much. (Y/N), it's okay to feel it. Let yourself feel it. Breathe.'_ You took a deep breath and Chris smirked at you. He could see your reaction and he liked it.

He held out his bent elbow, "Shall we?"

You chuckled airily, still feeling a little flushed, "Yeah."

He opened the passenger side door of his car and saw you into your seat. Once he was in on the driver's side, he sighed and looked at you. He stroked your cheek softly with a closed hand, "You look amazing... Everything." He glanced down your body, quickly making eye contact with you again.

You chuckled nervously, "Chris, stop."

He chortled, "Okay, okay. I'll back off. But, I had to tell you." He smiled and winked at you.

When you both got to Tony and Pepper's, he held your hand and led the way up the stairs and inside once Pepper let you both in. There was music playing in the lounge area of the house, but it wasn't too loud. As Sam said, it was just the close group of friends you all have had at your house usually. There was food and lots of alcohol, of course. Everyone was just hanging out on and around all the sofas and chairs, shooting the shit and drinking... Some very loudly. Tony and Thor were already three quarters drunk once you and Chris showed up.

Tony stood to greet you both, drink in hand. "Heyyyyy!", he shouted as if he was trying to compete with a roar of noise that didn't actually exist. "If it issssn Paul Bunyan an' iz Babe!" Chris did after all have a beard and chose a flannel shirt to wear.

You and Chris both furrowed your brows in disgust and everyone else looked surprised at his reference of Babe the Blue Ox.

Chris scowled at Tony, a bit irritated, "She's not a fuckin' ox, Tony." Without skipping a beat, he leaned into your ear and whispered, "You're a fuckin' fox." God damn it. He was giving you butterflies again.

You gave him a playfully scolding look as if to tell him to knock it off.

Tony waved his hand and his head lolled a bit to one side, "No, no, no. Jus' the name, jus' the name. Jus' 'babe'. Come hava-", he gestured around him, "Find a smea- seat!"

Chris nodded at Tony and then looked at you again and spoke low, "I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable."

You replied softly as you both found a seat in the group of furniture, "I appreciate it, really. It's just- it's a lot right now and you haven't even started drinking yet."

As you both sat he nodded at you, "I know, I'm sorry. I'll be a good boy." He winked at you.

"What cana get you two loverlyyy kizz?!", Tony was shouting again, walking backwards and nearly tripping over his own feet, sloshing his drink onto the floor, yelping, "Oop!" He managed to recover and laughed, "Shit, thawas close." He turned and continued to the bar.

Chris asked you, "What do you want, hon?"

"Just a club soda with lemon, thanks.", you smiled.

He narrowed his eyes at you, "Are you okay?"

You raised your eyebrows and nodded, "Yeah, I'm fine, Chris."

He furrowed his brows, leaned forward and tilted his head to look at you better. You never went without at least having beer at social gatherings. He was cautious to keep his voice low enough for only you to hear over the dull roar of music and people talking, "Are you pregnant?" You looked at him with your eyes wide. When he spoke again, his voice slipped up slightly in volume, "Oh my God-", he paused, looked around to make sure no one turned to look as he lowered his voice again, "You are, aren't you? It's Seb's, isn't it?"

Your brows pulled together as you replied quietly, "No, Chris. Jesus. I'm not pregnant. I just thought you'd like to drink more than a few beers tonight since it's your last night with all your friends before you go. You always drive. I just wanted to be able to drive you home." You had parked your own car up the street at the house when you surprised Chris earlier so that you could drop him off at home and drive back to Nat's that night.

He sighed in relief. That would have been crazy. If you had been pregnant with Seb's child again, he, of course, would've been completely supportive and loved the child as his own, whether the two of you ended up together or not. But he was relieved. He had no idea at this point where things would go with you. But, one thing he did know is that if anyone was to give you a baby, planned or not, he wanted it to be only him now.

"Sorry. Thank you. That's really sweet.", he whispered.

"It's okay.", you chuckled. "Can I have that drink now, please?"

He kissed your temple, "You got it." He stood and headed to the bar, since he was sure that Tony wouldn't hear either of you that far away by now.

A while later, Chris had shots with all the guys in the group. They got pretty loud once the alcohol settled into their blood. Nat and Maria had joined them at the bar.

Through all the noise traveling across the room, you, Jane, Laura and Pepper talked for a good long while. They all checked up and asked how you'd been. You let them know that things were getting easier with each passing day, but you knew you weren't quite there yet. Jane was sitting next to you, smiling sweetly, her soft little voice filled with compassion, "You have been through so much loss in such a short time. I hope you get to be really happy soon... And the rest of your life. You've paid your dues and then some. You deserve to be happy now."

Your face was grateful, "Thank you, Jane."

She giggled, "I think you're being paged." She grinned, glancing past you towards the bar.

You had tuned out the noise of the group of inebriated friends to focus on the ladies around you and didn't notice that Chris was shouting, "(Y/N), sweetheart! Hey, baby! C'mere!"

A few at the bar were watching him, then looked to you.

You turned in your seat on the sofa, raised your eyebrows at Chris and pointed to yourself in question.

He nodded smugly, "Yeah, I'm talking to you. C'mere, foxy." He waved you over.

You turned to Pepper, your eyes wide, "Is he hitting on me?" You laughed and snorted.

The other girls laughed too and Pepper answered, "It seems he might be making a half-assed attempt, yes. God, he's so stupid for you, (Y/N). It's adorable."

You sighed, laughed and shook your head at her and headed to the bar to see why Chris had called you over.

He was sitting on a stool and was turned most of the way around to face you, watching you walk to him. He was grinning like an idiot and addressed you once you were close enough, his voice deep and relaxed, "Hey, beautiful."

You chuckled under your breath, "What's up, Chris."

He reached out, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulled you between his legs and against his chest, face to face. He blinked slowly and spoke quietly, "I missed you." He nuzzled his nose against your neck, "And how great you smell."

You felt a slight coiling in your lower belly snd you took a quick breath to level yourself. You pulled back a little, your hands on his shoulders, "Chris, Are you drunk?"

He scoffed. "Noooo. Well... Maybe a little. Mostly just buzzed. Shouldn't last long. I just don't have any shits to give about anything right now... Except maybe you.", he winked. "God, you look so good tonight.", he bit his lip as his eyes flicked to your chest under your snug sweater, then back to your eyes.

You leaned in close to his ear and he let out a low, quiet, short chuckle in anticipation of what you might do after leaning in. To his disappointment, all you did was remind him of what he told you before, "I thought you said you were going to be good..."

He sighed, "You're right, I did. I'm done drinking tonight anyway. I'll sober up a bit and then we can go home."

Sam had sauntered over on the other side of the bar, behind it. At some point during the evening, he had found the materials to make himself a fez out of a red party cup, complete with tassle. He wore it proudly now, having tied it to his head with a string around his chin. He beamed at you as he leaned towards you, elbows on the bar, "Heyyyy, pretty lady. What canah get ya?"

Chris pulled you back to his chest hard, forcing a small breath from you as he scowled at Sam, "Go find _your_ pretty lady. This one's mine."

Sam chuckled, tilting his head back and forth to watch the tassle hanging off his head swaying back and forth out of the corner of his eye.

Chris tilted his chin up sharply at you, "Whatcha want, sweetness?"

You giggled, "Shirley Temple, extra cherries."

He turned to address Sam, who was now distracted with trying to swing the tassle around like a propeller while Thor, Maria and Tony watched, laughing.

Chris sighed and pushed you away from him gently, "The service here fuckin' sucks." You laughed as he stood, then headed around the end of the bar, "I'll get it, sweetie."

You sat on the stool next to his as he came back with your drink. He set it in front of you and took a seat beside you. He watched as you picked a cherry by the stem from the short glass of pink tinted, bubbly liquid, tilted your head back, parted your perfect lips and plucked the cherry off the stem with your teeth. God, that was fuckin' hot. He pressed his lips together in restraint and looked at the bar top in front of him. He made a mental note not to watch you when you did that with the other cherries in your glass.

Once you both agreed to leave, Chris had started to sober, but you drove him home anyway. The two of you chatted quietly on the ride there. Once you parked in the driveway, you turned off the car and handed him the keys. He put his head back against the seat while looking at you, "Thanks, hon."

You smiled, "You're welcome."

"For driving of course, but also for putting up with my rude ass. I keep making you uncomfortable. I'm sorry."

You tilted your head and put you hand over his resting on his thigh, "It's okay. I expected some flirting to leak out along with the booze." You both laughed.

His face softened as he turned his hand under yours just enough to clasp around your small fingers, "You're an angel." He raised his head off the seat and lifted your hand and gently kissed your knuckles.

Your heart skipped a beat as he lowered your hand in his back to his thigh. He rested his head against the seat again, smiling at you affectionately. He spoke quietly, his voice soft, "Stay with me tonight?"

You pulled up one corner of your mouth, "Of course."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Give a shout; tell me what you think!
> 
> Thanks for comments (and kudos), thry kerp me going!
> 
> xoxo


	53. Last Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Refresher:
> 
> His face softened as he turned his hand under yours just enough to clasp around your small fingers, "You're an angel." He raised his head off the seat and lifted your hand and gently kissed your knuckles.
> 
> Your heart skipped a beat as he lowered your hand in his back to his thigh. He rested his head against the seat again, smiling at you affectionately. He spoke quietly, his voice soft, "Stay with me tonight?"
> 
> You pulled up one corner of your mouth, "Of course."

You and Chris got out of his car and you headed for the end of the driveway. He stopped and turned, confused, "Where you going?"

You pivoted to him and chortled, motioning up the street, "To get my car in the driveway and grab my bag."

He smirked, "You packed a bag?" It pleased him to know that you were prepared to stay with him tonight.

You smiled a little, "Yeah."

He headed toward you, "I'll go with you; protect you from monsters." You laughed as he took your hand and you both walked up the sidewalk to your car two houses down. It's was only just after 10:30 at night, so there were still lights on inside houses, glowing TVs visible in some windows. "I'd do it for you,", he explained, "but even though I'm nearly sober, I'm probably still", he made a quote sign with his free hand, "'technically' drunk."

"It's okay, Chris.", you curled your free hand around his forearm and laid your head against his shoulder. He kissed your head and hummed.

Once you got the car in the driveway, Chris got your bag out of the trunk as you came to the rear of the car. He handed you the bag as you spoke, "Can I ask a favor?"

"Always, hon.", he closed the trunk and looked to you, shoving his hands in his pockets.

You looked up at him shyly, "I don't need you to,", he hitched his head forward as if to urge you to just say it. You finished your thought, "Will you carry me?" You really missed him carrying you after a night out. Even when you weren't plastered, he had often done it anyway. He loved taking care of you... And taking any excuse to hold you.

He grinned ear to ear, "Yes." He lunged toward you, bent over and hiked you up over his shoulder.

You squeaked, then grunted as he chuckled and headed toward the house. Every time he carried you this way, he wanted to smack your ass, but reminded himself that it wasn't appropriate or respectful; he had to wait until you were his.

"Chris. Not like this.", you groaned out.

He stopped on the lawn, "Oh, like this?" He spun around once, quickly.

You squealed, held onto him as well as you could manage in the awkward position, trying not to lose grip on your small bag and giggled, "No."

He walked back to the car and you asked, confused, "What are you doing?"

By the time you were done with your question, he was were he had picked you up. He set you down gently and straightened, brushing your hair off your face with his fingertips, "Starting over.", he smiled down at you and then scooped you up into his arms.

You put an arm around his neck and rested your forehead against the side of his neck as he strolled toward the house, taking his time enjoying holding you. He was so warm and you felt so safe; you were going to miss this... Miss him... Miss his touch, the security of him. You felt nervous now about him leaving. When you stayed at Nat's over the last week, you could go to him anytime you wanted, but once he left tomorrow, you didn't have that choice. The thought caused a twisting in your stomach. As he reached the top of the porch steps, you tightened your hold on him. He stepped to the door and kissed your forehead in response to your gesture.

He set you down gently and put a hand around your waist, holding you close to his side while he went to fish his keys out of his pocket, but before he could, you held out yours. He took them, "Oh, thanks, sweetie." He unlocked the door, handed you back your keys and guided you in with a hand at your lower back. You flipped on the light switch as he shut the door behind him. You put your keys in the small outside pocket of your bag then set it on the floor against the wall near the door. You both removed your coats and hung them.

You turned to head for the kitchen when Chris grabbed your hand and spun you, pulling you to him. Taken completely of guard, you collided with his muscular front with a light thud, causing you to let out a sharp breath. His hands were on your waist now, him staring down at you intensely. Your hands had ended up on his shoulders. Your heart was beating fast, your breath increased a bit. You were so taken aback you couldn't even think straight enough to think of what to do next, so you just waited... Waited to see what he would do.

He waited a beat and then placed his forehead against yours, his breath was slightly labored as he started stepping forward, walking you backwards, slowly. He was testing the waters again, but he was going full tilt to do so this time. He was leaving tomorrow and he had to try one more time before he left you. He was giving you every opportunity to show him that you were ready... Ready to finally let him call you his. He wouldn't kiss you, but he would make the situation as conducive as possible for you to make a move. He continued moving forward as if to trying to get closer to you than was actually possible; begging silently in his head for you to finally let him in, _'Please, baby, kiss me... Please.'_

You were starting to tremble, every muscle starting to feel weak at his dominant presence. You wanted to give in, you wanted him to kiss you... But you couldn't let him. It didn't feel right. You felt confused... torn... and it pained you. You wanted this, but that pull somewhere deep inside... That pull from Sebastian's memory bringing you back to the love you lost... It wouldn't let you yet. Your eyes started to well up slightly with tears from all the contradicting emotions swirling inside you.

You pushed your hands gently against his chest and tilted your head to one side and back, just enough to break the contact with his forehead, "Chris..."

His head fell slightly as the loss of contact with yours and he then lifted it to look at you. When he saw the tears in your eyes, his face twisted in regret, realizing that he had probably just thrown you into a state of confusion and internal conflict. "Oh, sweetheart,", he enveloped you in his arms, "I'm sorry. I just-", he sighed. "I'm so sorry." _'Quit pushing her so hard, Chris. You're gonna push her completely away one of these times.'_

Little did he know, you weren't going anywhere. You just needed to work through all these feelings that were keeping you from moving forward. You wanted to let go of the guilt you felt anytime Chris touched you or spoke to you intimately. You wanted him, but you wanted to be able to give him more of yourself than just whatever Sebastian didn't still have a hold of. You would always keep a place in your heart for Sebastian, but Chris deserved more than a minuscule portion of your love; he deserved more than the tattered scraps left over from a love lost. He deserved all of you, all of your attention and affection whenever you were with him. He deserved your total and complete presence whenever your were together... And you just couldn't give him that yet.

His cheek was against your head as he stroked your hair, "I'm so sorry, (Y/N). I'm making things so much harder for you. Please forgive me. Will you still stay? Though, I'll understand if you don't want to."

You pulled back to look up at him, resting a hand gently on his cheek, his eyes searching yours as you spoke, "Chris. You haven't done anything wrong for me to forgive you for, honey. I just need time."

His eyes closed softly, his heart swelling at you calling him that as your hand dropped back down against his chest. He really needed to hear you say that he wasn't doing anything wrong, because he almost always felt like he was when he tried to get closer. He opened his eyes, nodded and kissed your forehead. He took you into his arms tightly and put his cheek on your head again.

"What time is your flight?", you asked, your cheek against his chest.

His voice rumbled against your ear as he answered, "5:30 PM."

"We should stay in bed, talk, watch movies and cuddle all day tomorrow until you have to get ready to go."

He chuckled out a soft breath and nodded slightly against your head, "I love that idea." He released you and went to the door, bent over to grab your bag and then returned to you, taking your hand. He led you to your room, kissed your head and handed you the bag. He left for his own room to get ready for bed.

You changed into the tank top and pajama pants you had brought to sleep in. You got out your toothbrush and waited in the kitchen while Chris was in the bathroom. When he opened the door, he headed for the fridge to get you each a bottle of water. You went for the bathroom with your toothbrush and paste. You smiled softly at each other. As he passed you, he placed his hand on the side of your waist opposite him and let your movement away from each other drag it across your stomach lightly. It gave you butterflies and you giggled quietly. The small sound made him grin as you both looked over your shoulders to glance at each other. He was wondering if he would ever be able to touch your soft skin under that clothing again. He had only done it once before in casual contact, but it left him wanting more for such a long time.

Once you brushed your teeth and went to the bathroom, you joined Chris in his room. He was waiting in the bed, covers open for you on the side of the bed opposite him. He was propped up on pillows against the headboard and had the lights off and the TV on, watching a sitcom. He looked at you once you came in, hitching up one side of his mouth, "Hey. I missed you."

You crawled into the bed and settled in against his side, "Missed you too." You rested your head on his chest and tried the memorize the sound of his heartbeat; it would be gone for a long time once tomorrow came. He kissed your head and lightly raked his fingertips through your hair for a long while as you both watched the show. His touch was so relaxing that you were out within minutes.

Early the next morning, you woke up to Chris's movements jostling the mattress slightly as he rolled away from you. It was still mostly dark, only a hint of light starting to chase away the night. You had been nestled tightly against his chest. The sudden absence of his warmth against your front and his arm around you left you cold. You whined quietly at the chill after he had stood and looked out his bedroom window through the blinds, "Shit, it snowed last night. No wonder it's cold in here." He turned to you and hiked the blanket up to your chin and tucked it around you tightly. He headed for the bedroom door, "Just a second, sweetie, I'm gonna turn up the heat." He padded out to the living room and turned the thermostat up a few more degrees.

You heard the heater kick on as his footfalls returned to the bedroom. He climbed back in the bed and pulled you close to him again, wrapping his arms around you, "I love my hardwood floors, but fuck they're cold in winter." He put his feet on yours and you shrieked in protest and jerked your feet away from his icy toes as you giggled. He laughed and spoke again, "I'm gonna have to snow blow today and spend some of our time doing it. Sorry, hon."

"I'll help you.", you mumbled. "It'll go faster if I do."

"You can't help me use the snow blower, weirdo.", he chuckled.

"We have a shovel. I'll use that."

He normally wouldn't let you help at all, but he wanted as much time as he could get with you. "I'll shovel, you can use the blower."

"You'll have to show me how to use it."

"Deal. Now, sleep, little beauty. We still got a couple hours." Since he couldn't kiss you, he brushed his lips back and forth against your forehead slowly and gave you a long kiss there before settling his head to sleep again. You nuzzled your cheek against his chest in response. He hummed softly and held you tighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm gonna try and pound out as many chapters as I can this weekend as my race training starts first thing next week and my life schedule will also require more of my attention. Please stick around, I have great things planned for this story and will still work to get you updates as often as possible.
> 
> You guys are awesome! Thanks for sticking with me and my little written TV series, lol. It's kinda like a TV show, isn't it? LMAO!
> 
> Thanks again, love you guys! Thanks for the kudos! Comments keep me going, so let me know what you think or what you like!
> 
> XOXO


	54. Snow Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> "I'll help you.", you mumbled. "It'll go faster if I do."
> 
> "You can't help me use the snow blower, weirdo.", he chuckled.
> 
> "We have a shovel. I'll use that."
> 
> He normally wouldn't let you help at all, but he wanted as much time as he could get with you. "I'll shovel, you can use the blower."
> 
> "You'll have to show me how to use it."
> 
> "Deal. Now, sleep, little beauty. We still got a couple hours." Since he couldn't kiss you, he brushed his lips back and forth against your forehead slowly and gave you a long kiss there before settling his head to sleep again. You nuzzled your cheek against his chest in response. He hummed softly and held you tighter.

You woke to tickling on the bare skin of your lower back. It so happened that Chris may have turned the heat up a bit too much. Therefore, you were only half covered by the sheet and blanket. Your tank top had twisted and lifted slightly from your movements while sleeping. You had been sleeping facing away from him and when he woke up and spotted the exposed skin, he couldn't help himself. He started dragging his fingertips lightly over your back, from one hip to the other.

When you jerked awake, you also gasped softly at the sensation which caused Chris to stop. You looked over your shoulder to see him propped up on a elbow facing you. "Sorry.", he chuckled quietly, thinking that maybe he had crossed a line.

"No,", you replied. "I like it." You rolled forward to expose your back again and hiked your tank top up a little more. "Please..." You closed your eyes and felt his soft fingertips again, trailing over your smooth skin, drawing lazy circles, zig-zagging curves and straight lines. You hummed quietly.

He sighed silently, licked his lips and let his fingers find your side to glide downward, from ribs to hip. You gasped again and giggled, pulling down the muscles of your side at the ticklishness. He let out a low, short chuckle at your reaction. He had an urge to sidle up behind you, grip your hip and press you back against him. God, he'd waited so long to touch you like this. You seemed to be just enjoying the relaxation of it, but it was getting him worked up... Very quickly. He tried his best to control his thoughts and keep his arousal at bay. If he let it get away from himself, he definitely wouldn't be able to hide it from you.

It was turning you on as well; his touch was so soft and gentle, sending electricity out to every nerve in your body, but you didn't let him know. You were comfortable with the way things were in this moment, but you actually feared letting him go further only to cut it short at a pang of guilt. You couldn't keep doing that to him; especially given how much more intimate one step further would be this time compared to any time before.

Without warning, he started tickling you playfully, gently digging his curled fingers into your side and stomach. He had to stop the sensual touch he was giving you, it was too much for him. He got up on his knees and hunched over you as you laughed loudly, squealed and squeaked at his mercy, pulling your knees into your chest in a feeble attempt to protect yourself. He laughed and paused. You were panting and looking over your shoulder at him when he gave you a good poke in the side and you let out a little squeak, covering your side with a hand. He smiled down at you and chuckled, "Ooh, a squeak toy." He gave your side a quick squeeze with all his curled fingers, inciting an identical noise as before. You covered yourself as best you could with both hands now and giggled as he spoke, his voice shrill with amusement, "That's so fucking cute!"

He poked you once more in an unprotected spot and you let out a short, low grunt, "Hngh!"

He threw his head back and laughed loudly, "That, not so much."

You both laughed as he leaned over you and you rolled back onto your side. He wrapped his arms around your back and shoulders, still hunched over you, "Actually it was still cute; you always are." He attacked the side of your face with kisses as you giggled and tried to escape.

He straightened, on his knees, "I'm gonna go make breakfast." He smacked your ass without thinking and before his internal logic could stop him. It just felt like the natural thing to do in that moment.

You cried out at the force and sting, "Oh!" You gave him a wide eyed look of shock.

He put a closed fist to his mouth to hide a smirk, then put his hand up in apology, "Shit. Sorry." He pressed his lips together as he got off the bed and headed for the kitchen.

"It's okay.", you chuckled.

He stopped and turned, titled his head and quirked an eyebrow, "Oh, is it now?"

You scoffed out a laugh, "I mean I forgive you."

He narrowed his eyes at you and nodded playfully, "Alright. Stay in bed if you want, hon. I can bring coffee and food to you.", he finished as he left the room.

"I gotta pee anyway.", you called after him, grunting to sit up.

You helped him make breakfast and you both ate at the island, joking around and talking. It felt so good, so comfortable, despite the nagging feeling of sadness that he was leaving soon.

Once you both ate, you brushed your teeth together and got bundled up to take care of the snow on the driveway and sidewalks. Over your jeans, you had put on some wedge knee high boots with knitted legs and fluffy fur around the top. You came to the front door where Chris was getting on his coat and gloves, already wearing a snug knitted hat pulled down over his ears, he noticed your were taller than your usual self and glanced down at your boots, pulling on his coat. "You sure you wanna wear heels to work in slippery snow?"

"Yeah, I love these boots. And they're grippy.", you steadied yourself by grabbing onto his forearm with a hand. He clasped your forearm back instinctively as you folded your leg up, resting the ankle on your other knee to show him the deep cut traction pattern on the bottom of the boot. "See?"

He gave his head one shake as he pulled on his last glove and sighed at you as you put your foot down again, "Okay. Just be really careful, sweetheart. I don't wanna be taking you to the hospital with a broken ass or worse."

You chuckled while bent over, fixing your boot top, "Promise." You straightened and looked at him and then tilted your head at him.

He lifted one corner of his mouth and chortled, "What?"

You cupped your hands around his neck, "You need a scarf. They really help keep you warmer. I'll knit you one." You barely touched his jaw with your fist, giving him a fake punch and he titled his head up and to the side, playing along while grinning at you.

After you both had removed the snow in the driveway, sidewalk and the path the the house, Chris started shoveling the elderly neighbor lady's driveway next door. You thought nothing of it and followed suit, using the snow blower on her sidewalk. You made a mental note to come check her paths whenever it snowed while Chris was gone.

The little white haired woman came out on her porch shortly after you both had started on her property. You saw her movement out of the corner of your eye and turned off the blower's engine. When Chris heard it stop, he turned to look at you. You waved at her on the porch and she waved back. He turned to the direction you were waving just as she started to speak, nearly shouting, "Oh, Chris, I got my grandson coming over later today to do that."

He held a hand up for a beat to greet her from her driveway, offering her a warm smile and shouting back, "Hey, Miss Shirley. It's no trouble. (Y/N) and I'll be done shortly. Then you can just have some quality time with your grandson when he shows up."

"Ohh, you are such a sweetheart. I've not met (Y/N) formally yet. You bring her in for something warm to drink when you're done."

You'd seen Shirley sitting on her porch in the middle of the day or being helped inside by family after they took her out and about or grocery shopping plenty of times. You would wave and say hi, but you'd never actually met her.

"I will if we have time, okay? Now get back in the house before you freeze. You're not even wearing a coat, young lady!", he chuckled, waving her back into the house.

"Alright, Dad!", she shouted back as you and Chris both laughed while she turned and shuffled back to her door, disappearing inside.

After you both finished Shirley's paths, he walked to you, shovel in one hand. He kissed your forehead and put his other hand on one of the snow blower handles and turned it, pushing back down the sidewalk and up into the driveway to put it away. "I'm sorry I started clearing her snow before checking with you. It's just habit to do it if her family hasn't come to do it already."

You scoffed, "Chris, please. It's awesome that you help her. Besides, it just reminds me how lucky I am to have such a sweet guy for a best friend." You beamed at him.

He smiled back affectionately at your statement, "Thanks. So, you wanna go visit Shirley or just get back in bed?", he asked once you were both almost to the garage.

"What do you want to do?"

"Don't ask me that.", he smirked, bringing the blower to rest in its spot and taking off one of his gloves to swipe at itch under his red nose with the tip of his thumb.

You chortled, knowing he was holding back a particularly mischievous thought being that your question was phrased quite open-endedly. "Does she know about Sebastian? About he and I?"

He pressed his lips together and nodded, "She knew of him, they talked here and there sometimes. And yes, she knows he passed. She asked me once when I got home from work where he was because she hadn't seen him in a while. I don't think she knew that the two of you were together... Though who knows what she's suspected about the three of us all this time." He huffed out an uncomfortable chuckle. "She's a sweet lady though. So, do you wanna go over?"

"What time is it?"

He pulled his coat and shirt sleeve back off his wrist to look at his watch, "Just after ten-thirty."

"And when do you have to leave for the airport?", you folded your arms, pulled your shoulders up and shivered a bit. Being done pushing around the snow blower and having sweat on your neck and scalp in the cold air was dropping your body temperature quickly.

"4 o'clock.", he sniffed and pulled you into him, wrapping his arms around you tight, rubbing his palms in quick up and down strokes against your coat.

You looked up at him, "Yeah, we can go over for a bit, but only if you want to. No more than an hour? We still need hot showers and cuddle time."

"Sounds good." He twirled you around with his hands on your shoulders and wrapped his arms around you again, your back pressed to his front. His feet spread apart wide so not to step on your heels, he walked you both over to the wall where he hit the button to close the garage door. He just stayed there with you in his arms while it descended, tucking his chin against your shoulder, trying to lend you more warmth before releasing you.

God, he always made you feel so warm and safe... And valued. It prompted you to ask, even though you were sure of the answer, "Do you have to go?"

He let out a breathy chuckle, "Little late to back out now, hon."

The door met the concrete, halting the noisy motor hanging from the ceiling, leaving you both in silence only until you spoke, "I know. I'm just really going to miss you."

You could feel him nod slightly against you, his voice low, "I know, sweetheart. Me too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like, seriously, I'm all like, "Do you really have to go?" to Chris now. I'm ready to move forward but- plans and plot and storyline... Blargh!
> 
> You all know by now... I LIVE FOR COMMENTS! So, leave one if you are so inclined. They help me a lot.
> 
> Thanks for everything, ya'll!
> 
> xoxo


	55. Hours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFESHER:
> 
> God, he always made you feel so warm and safe... And valued. It prompted you to ask, even though you were sure of the answer, "Do you have to go?"
> 
> He let out a breathy chuckle, "Little late to back out now, hon."
> 
> The door met the concrete, halting the noisy motor hanging from the ceiling, leaving you both in silence only until you spoke, "I know. I'm just really going to miss you."
> 
> You could feel him nod slightly against you, his voice low, "I know, sweetheart. Me too."

You and Chris made your way back over to Shirley's, hand in hand. He rang the doorbell and she answered after a long moment. 

"Oh, I'm so glad you came! Come in!", she chirped and waved inward as she started to push open the screen door and Chris took over to pull it the rest of the way open as he beamed at her.

"Hey, cutie. How ya doin'?", he asked as he guided you in first and followed behind.

When you stepped inside, you saw that the floor plan was just like Chris's house, but it looked very different. You felt as though you had just stepped into a house from the late 50s or early 60s. You guessed she had probably lived there since that time and hadn't changed a damn thing. It was cozy, quaint and welcoming.

"Wonderful! Thank you." She took your hand in both hers once you were all inside and Chris had shut the door. "Hello, (Y/N), so nice to finally meet you.", she gave you a warm smile.

"Thank you, Shirley. Nice to meet you.", you mirrored her expression.

She leaned to the side to address Chris standing slightly behind you as if you weren't there, "Wow, she's every prettier up close, Chris." She winked at him.

He chuckled, "She's pretty at any distance to me."

You turned slightly and scrunched your nose at him, smiling, "Aw, thank you." He returned you smile affectionately.

Shirley laughed, "Thatta boy. Always knows what to say to make a girl feel special. Come sit down kids." She glided her way slowly to the living area, gesturing to the sofa against the wall. Chris helped you out of your coat and took off his own along with his hat, hanging them all on the pegs near Shirley's door. He guided you to the sofa with a hand on your lower back. You both thanked her as you sat. She began again, "Thanks for taking care of my snow." You both nodded and told her she was welcome, then she continued, "What would you like to drink, (Y/N)?"

"Whatever you have is fine, thank you."

"I've got coffee, tea, hot chocolate."

You looked at Chris with a tentative smile and without you having to say anything, he could tell you were wanting to pick whatever was easiest for Shirley, but you had no idea what she usually already had ready or would make. He spoke up, "We'll have tea. Milk and sugar for (Y/N). Thank you." He stood, "Can I help you?"

"Psh.", she waved her hand dismissively. "You know I always have tea ready. Though I could use help carrying the tray." She started to putter for the kitchen.

Chris followed her, "Sure. Of course." He winked at you before he disappeared from the room.

You were staring around the room at all the old family pictures on the walls and mantle while you heard the murmurs of Shirley and Chris's voices in the kitchen, then you heard Shirley's little voice yell out as loud as she could manage, "(Y/N), you don't need to sit in there alone! Get your cute little ass in here!"

You heard Chris's booming laughter as you stood and shouted back, chuckling, "Yes, ma'am!"

You all got back into the living room, sat and started to drink your tea. Shirley served tea in a plain white ceramic pot and in regular white coffee mugs. She was polite and proper enough, but didn't care too much about formalities, as displayed by her rather colorful invitation for you to join them in the kitchen earlier.

"So, Chris,", she started, rocking in her recliner, "how long have you and (Y/N) been together?"

"Oh, we're not-", he glanced at you and then back to Shirley, smiling awkardly. "We're just friends."

She narrowed her eyes, "No, you're not. Look at you two! Sitting so close she's almost in your lap. You hold hands, carry her around, treat her like a princess and I saw you kissin' on her out there." Old people apparently have a lot of time to watch their neighbors out the windows. She gave him a side glance, "Just friends my ass. More like friends who refuse to admit they wanna be lovers. I can tell you wanna be all over her, Chris."

You choked on your tea a little and Chris pressed his lips together, his face turning a little red, trying to stifle an embarrassed laugh and glancing at you to make sure you were okay, then looking anywhere else but at Shirley. You coughed once and then gathered your voice, "Jesus, lady, you don't pull any punches, do you?"

Chris threw his head back and laughed loudly as Shirley cackled and slapped her knee, "I like her!" She pointed at you, her face serious now, "She's a good one, Chris. You should be together."

He sighed and spoke up, "Well, Shirley,", he took your hand in his, "I'd like to, but she's not ready yet." He smiled at you. You forced a tight lipped smile and looked at the floor.

"Why the hell not? Have you seen him, (Y/N)? I know you have eyes, honey. And he's the sweetest young man you'll ever meet. He'd take real good care of you."

You nodded and gave her a hesitant smile, "I know. He already does."

Chris then interjected to try to rescue you from discomfort, addressing Shirley, "See,", he looked at you for approval and you nodded, gripping his hand a little tighter and he stroked your hand with his thumb reassuringly as he continued, "Sebastian and (Y/N) were together when he passed away."

Her face fell, "Oh my God, honey. I'm so sorry." She scooted forward in her seat. "Oh, hell. I'm such an insensitive ninny. I'm so sorry, sugar."

"It's okay, you didn't know." She looked really upset about giving you a hard time, so you stood and went to her, giving her a hug as she stay seated in her chair, "It's okay. Don't worry, okay?" You released her and straightened, giving her a warm smile.

"Good God, Chris. What a sweetie! I stuck my foot in my mouth at her expense and _she_ hugs _me_!", she exclaimed. "You have GOT to get your hooks in her! She's a gem!"

He threw his hands up and his head back in mock frustration as he shouted playfully, "I'm trying!!!"

You all laughed as you returned to your seat next to him. You spoke now, "I have some residual feelings to work through. Chris is going away for a few months for work and then we'll see where we're at when he comes back." You smiled softly at him and he hitched up one side of his mouth. Hearing you say it out loud like that gave him so much hope.

"Well, I hope it works out for you two.", she beamed. "You seem so good for each other."

Chris furrowed his brows, tilted and dipped his head appreciatively, "Well, thanks, Shirley."

"And you better invite me to the wedding!", she demanded.

The rest of the day was spent as planned. After taking turns showering, you and Chris ate lunch and then cuddled in his bed and watched TV. He played with your hair, held you close and kissed you anywhere and everywhere he knew was okay to. He even pulled you on top of him with your head on his chest at one point in an attempt to be even closer to you. The more the minutes ticked away, the more you both clung tighter to each other. Three or four months was a long fucking time.

When the time came, you both got up and you helped him make his bed and helped make sure he had everything in order once he had gotten dressed and ready to go. Nat, Bruce, Sam and Maria met you both at the airport to say goodbye.

He said goodbye to you last. You were fine until he stepped in front of you and looked down at you. You could see the love in his eyes. You looked down at his chest as you started to tear up. He took you tightly in his arms as you hugged him back your head titled down. You let out a little sob against him and whimpered out quietly, "I need you. You better come back to me."

He whispered against your hair while he held your head gently against him, "Shhhh, don't cry, sweetheart. I will. I promise. I'll let you know when I'm there. I'm gonna miss you so much."

"I'll miss you too, Chris."

He pulled back and put a hand on either side of your jaw, wiping your tears away gently with his thumbs, your hands still on either side of his middle. His face looked pained... conflicted for a moment and then he leaned in and placed a soft, chaste kiss on your lips. You closed your eyes, pressed your lips back against his and a warmth filled you. Everything around you melted away. His lips left yours and his forehead came to rest on yours, you both had your eyes still closed, his hands still cupping your jaw as he whispered, "Please wait for me."

Your face twisted as you choked back a strong sob.  You nodded slightly, your breath ragged, you gripped one of his wrists and whispered back, "I promise."

When he let go of you and stepped back, he was pressing his lips together tight, tears in his eyes. The sight choked you up as he starting walking backward, slowly. He forced a minuscule, closed lip smile, shaking his head, reminding you that he told you not to cry. You smiled a little and nodded. He smiled a bit wider and winked at you, then turned and walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shirley is my favorite now.
> 
> GOD DAMMIT! WHY IS HE LEAVING?! Have some ugly crying. You're welcome. Blargh!
> 
> Let me know what you think. Thanks for comments and kudos!
> 
> Love you guys.
> 
> XOXO


	56. Holly Jolly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> He pulled back and put a hand on either side of your jaw, wiping your tears away gently with his thumbs, your hands still on either side of his middle. His face looked pained... conflicted for a moment and then he leaned in and placed a soft, chaste kiss on your lips. You closed your eyes, pressed your lips back against his and a warmth filled you. Everything around you melted away. His lips left yours and his forehead came to rest on yours, you both had your eyes still closed, his hands still cupping your jaw as he whispered, "Please wait for me."
> 
> Your face twisted as you choked back a strong sob. You nodded slightly, your breath ragged, you gripped one of his wrists and whispered back, "I promise."
> 
> When he let go of you and stepped back, he was pressing his lips together tight, tears in his eyes. The sight choked you up as he starting walking backward, slowly. He forced a minuscule, closed lip smile, shaking his head, reminding you that he told you not to cry. You smiled a little and nodded. He smiled a bit wider and winked at you, then turned and walked away.

On the way back to Chris's car, Nat had her arm around you, "You okay, hon?"

You nodded, blowing out a breath, your eyes still welling up with tears, "It's just that he's all I have left. I'm really scared."

She knew what you meant by 'all I have left' and what you were afraid of; that things were going to change for the worse between you and him due to being apart... And that he may decide not to come back, "I know. But it's gonna be okay and he's gonna come back, (Y/N). He promised."

You just nodded again.

You gathered yourself and drove Chris's car back to the house to put it in the garage. Nat rode with you. You then took your own car to go to dinner with the others who had been at the airport to see Chris off.

You and Chris had agreed to have contact only once a week to give each other the time and space needed to each work through your own issues. You also agreed that once he got back, the two of you would finally pack up Sebastian's room. It had been several months since his passing and it was time.

Chris called you as promised, as soon as he got into his hotel suite. That's where he would be living for the next few months. Thank God Tony took care of his employees.

Your phone rang later that evening while you were watching TV with Nat and Bruce, you were already knitting that scarf you promised to Chris. You planned to send it to him for Christmas which was coming up fast. You set down your knitting and stood. "Hey, Chris. Miss you already.", you answered as you padded to the kitchen.

"Aw, hey, sweetie. Miss you too."

"How's your digs?"

"It's ridiculously extravagant and huge. It's basically a big, full sized apartment- Holy shit!"

You panicked a little, "What?!"

"There's two fuckin' floors!"

"God, you scared me!", you laughed.

He chuckled in return, "Sorry, hon. I was a little startled myself!" He paused, "I wish you could be here to share this with me. You'd love the tub. It's ginormous. We could both fit in here really comfortably."

You smiled, not sure if he was being flirty or just matter of fact about it's size, "That's sound nice."

His voice got deep and smooth, "I think so too."

You had a rush of butterflies at his seductive tone and the suggestive nature of his statement. Yep, he was definitely flirting. "Are you coming on to me?", you chortled.

You could almost hear him shrug, "Maybe." You giggled and he continued, "Hey, you know how I feel about you by now. It's no secret." You both laughed softly and paused for a long beat before he spoke again, "This is nuts."

"What?"

"Just that- I know this time is gonna help, but it just feels so... Wrong to be so far apart."

You let out a long sigh, "Yeah. It feels so weird with you gone."

You and he talked about what he'd be doing while he was there and how you both regretted that you wouldn't be spending Christmas together. Not that you ever had before. You had only been friends with the guys a few months the year before, so you all spent the holiday with your own families. You had your other friends now though. You weren't traveling this year to be with your own family. You were actually looking forward to a drama-free celebration with those near you. Chris would be traveling to spend Christmas day and the folliwing day with his own family not far from where he was set up in Ohio. He would go back to the hotel and continue working afterwards. So, you were glad that he at least wouldn't be alone.

Over the next couple weeks, you got his scarf done and sent it off to him with instructions not to open the gift until Christmas, of course. You helped Bruce and Nat decorate their tree; a fat, robust one with flocking which you all covered in ribbons made of burlap and red velvet, along with strings of white lights. The ornaments were all silver balls of different sizes and there were little faux birds of different types barely tucked in among the boughs. The tree was displayed proudly in the front of the picture window of the living room, whose curtains were left open until everyone went to bed, so that those who drove past could benefit from the holiday joy of the household.

You also found an artificial tree that stood about a foot tall once while Christmas shopping with Nat. You bought it, along with some tiny, glittery snowflake shaped ornaments of red and white. You set the little decorated tree on the desk in Sebastian's room one evening when you went to the house alone to get more things for yourself.

When you stepped back and looked at it, you started to sob and talk softly, "I'm so sorry we never had a Christmas together. I miss you so much, Sebby." You sat on the edge of his bed, talking towards the floor. "Don't worry though, Chris is taking care of me, just like he promised you he would." You paused and sniffed, tilted your head far back snd sighed, tears still in your eyes. You looked downward again, "You probably already know this but,", you got choked up and put a closed fist to your mouth. You struggled to get it out, guilt holding you back.

You let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding, dropping your hand to your lap and finally saying it, "I'm falling in love with him." The tears came faster and your breath hitched, "And I feel like I'm betraying you. It's so confusing and I don't know what to do... which way to go. I'm so sorry, Seb." You stayed there for a few minutes, allowing your crying time to quell. You then stood, sniffing and wiping your eyes. "Merry Christmas. I love you.", you whispered. You left, turning out the light and closing the door behind you.

A few days later, on Saturday, Nat came in from checking the mail at her house and shouted towards the kitchen, where you were reading and having tea at the table, "Package for you, (Y/N)!" There had been a few packages coming for you over the last weeks from family members, so you hadn't thought much of it as she handed it to you.

"Oh, thanks, Nat.", you took the bread box sized, cardboard package printed with red diagonal stripes and smiled happily when you saw the return address bearing only the name 'Evans' along with the hotel and room number where Chris was living.

It smelled faintly of his cologne and there was a big sticker on the front reading 'DO NOT OPEN UNTIL CHRISTMAS DAY'. And written along the packing tape that sealed each and every seam that you might breech to open the box, he had written phrases in black permanent marker, such as, 'I'm serious.', 'I'll know if you do.', 'I have spies.', 'Just don't, okay?', 'Please. Okay, now you've got me begging.' They all made you grin widely.

The package was set under the tree with all the other gifts waiting to be opened in one week. You were looking forward to the other gifts, sure. But, the one from Chris had you extremely curious. His first Christmas gift to you; what would he give? Would it be friendly? Sweet? Romantic? Sentimental? Generic? Would he dare go so far as sexy? You hoped Christmas came fast now; you really wanted to know.

When you talked to Chris again, he let you know that he got your package and you let him know that you had received his. It was getting harder and harder to say goodbye to him each time you spoke. At least each time you spoke was one step closer to him coming back.

The next several days were filled with lots of merriment. Pepper hosted a cookie making party, which ended up like anyone would expect; the ladies all in the kitchen baking and all the men playing billiards and a few of them getting drunk. Well, the ladies drank too at least. Nat drank more rum than what made it into the rum balls and she kept smacking all the girls' asses and shouting, "Good game!".

Little Jane, who was more of a light weight than you and didn't usually have more than a few beers, became best friends with the peppermint schnapps and cocoa. She turned surprisingly saucy, then fell asleep at the kitchenette table with her cheek resting on a sheet of sugar cookie dough she had been rolling out. You and Pepper woke her by picking her up off the cookie dough and wiped her face with a wet cloth and took her to lay down in the sitting room near the front door. You then went to inform Thor of her condition and he went to her to check on her.

You actually didn't feel much like getting drunk, so you just had a few beers over the course of the night. You pressed fork marks into peanut butter cookie dough balls on a sheet and got a little sad thinking about what it might be like to have both your boys there with you that night and you got a little wet in the eyes.

Maria spotted you and came to your side and put a light hand on your back, ducking her head, "Are you okay, (Y/N)?"

You nodded and wiped under your eye with a wrist. "Yeah, just missing some people."

She gave you a side hug and touched her head to yours. "I'm sorry.", was all she said.

On Christmas Eve, you all headed out in a food truck that Tony and Pepper had rented to hand out hot meals and drinks and other needed items, like sleeping bags, clothes, toiletries, coats, hats, gloves, scarves and boots to the homeless downtown. It was a snowy night, so you all couldn't have come at a better time.

Once you got home with Bruce and Nat, they settled in to watch a Christmas movie. A lot of snow had fallen that night, so you fixed yourself a cup of cocoa, bundled yourself up again in a thick coat, hat, scarf, gloves and pulling on your favorite boots and headed outside.

You sat on one of the chairs on the covered porch and just enjoyed the stillness. There were lights of all colors glowing from intermittent houses along the street. The road was stark white. You could usually hear the faint sounds of constant traffic coming from the main road at the end of the street, even this late at night, there was a car every minute or two. But now, the snow absorbed all the sounds of the city. The only noise was the crunching of the snow as a car drove at a crawl past the house every once in a while. It was so peaceful that it made you feel warm inside. You imagined Chris sitting next to you, his strong arms around you. You caught yourself in that thought-- You had pictured Chris, not Seb. As always, you were beginning to overanalyze. Chris was alive, Seb was not; had to have been as simple as that.

The next morning you woke to the smell of cinnamon rolls. You rolled out of the sofa bed and pulled on some cotton pants; you had only slept in one of Chris's shirts and some panties. You paused to pull the shirt up to your nose and take a big whiff. It made you smile, but also miss him just a little more. One more month. He'd be home in one more month. That's only four weeks; better than 12 or 16, right?

You trudged downstairs, sloppily scratching your head, making even more of a mess of your bed hair. Nat heard you coming and twirled in her stool at her kitchen counter, "Merry Christmas, girly bean!" She jumped off and hugged you.

"Merry Christmas!", you hugged her back and then went to Bruce who was serving up a cinnamon roll onto a small plate. You smiled and hugged him as well, "Merry Christmas, Bruce."

"Merry Christmas, (Y/N).", he grinned and handed you the cinnamon roll.

Your eyes got big, "Ooh! This looks so good."

Nat piped up, "Bruce made them... From scratch!" She put a torn piece of roll in her mouth, and then licked her sticky fingers and hummed. "So good, babe."

"Honey,", Bruce replied, "don't seduce me now, we have company... And presents to open."

You and her both chortled and he winked at her.

After the delicious cinnamon roll and a big glass of milk, the three of you got cups of coffee and went to the living room to start ripping into gifts. Nat and Bruce gave you a limited edition nail polish collection that you'd been eyeing. You didn't do nails for a living anymore, but you still loved doing your own. You had gotten them both DVDs and some cozy robes. You also bought Nat a cute sterling silver bracelet made from links of Xs and Os. There were gifts to the others in the group, but those would be divvied out later at Tony and Pepper's for Christmas Dinner.

You opted to open Chris's gift to you last. As excited as you were to see what it might be, you always tried to save the best for last with anything and his gift you were sure would mean the most to you this year, simply because it was from him.

You started peeling off the packing tape of one edge with Bruce and Nat looking on, beaming like they could hardly contain themselves. Inside that box, was another, more decorative, sliver box with green Christmas tree shapes on it. Once you opened the flap, you got a stronger smell of his cologne and you could see a fluffy, burgundy knitted fabric. You pulled it out gingerly and on top of the rolled item was what looked like heather gray socks, but bigger. You lifted them to see that they were in fact socks... thigh high socks. You actually had another pair of thigh high socks in black that you had worn once before. You wore them when you wanted to wear your pajama shorts, but it was too chilly in the house to have bare legs. Chris had teased that they were developing holes in the toes and you mentioned that you needed to get new ones but they were hard to find.

"Oh, those are sexy.", Nat teased.

You just stuck your tongue out and went back to the other item. You unrolled the large fabric tube by holding it by the end and lifting. As it unrolled you could tell that it was an oversized cardigan and it was so soft. When it was unrolled completely, you heard a tiny knock on the hardwood floor. You put your hands and the cardigan in your lap and peeked over the edge of the couch. There next to your foot was a small box. As you reached to pick it up, you glanced at Bruce and Nat, bewildered.

They just grinned at you like idiots. "Well, open it!", Nat cried, putting her hands out excitedly.

You found yourself getting nervous as you pulled the small lid upward from the nested bottom piece. In the lid was a note, with simply your name scrawled on it. It was folded to fit perfectly snug against the inside of the lid. In the box itself was a ring box. Your heart skipped a beat and you swallowed hard, glancing at your friends uneasily. You picked the note out of the lid and unfolded it to read it.

_My Dearest (Y/N),_

_When I left we both made a promise to each other; you to wait for me and I to come home to you. Now, I am asking you to only wear what's in this box if and when you're ready to make another promise to me; to be mine... For us to be together. I'm already yours, sweetheart, but I don't want to make you feel like I'm pushing you anymore. Now you have a definite way to tell me you're ready, if that time ever comes._

_Call me after you open this; I'll be waiting._

_Merry Christmas, baby._

_All my love,_  
_Chris  
XOXO _

Your hands were trembling now as you tipped the box to let the ring box drop out. Your heart was aching with a longing to be those words he'd written-- to be his. But you also didn't know if you could yet. You reminded yourself that was okay, because he had said 'when you're ready'. Your unsteady fingers opened the hinged lid to reveal a thin and delicate gold band with a small heart atop it. The heart was inlaid with many tiny diamonds to make up its center. Your breath caught and you were lost in thought staring at it when Nat's low voice snapped you back.

"(Y/N)?"

When you turned to look at her and Bruce, they were both smiling reassuringly, but expectantly.

You finally spoke, "It's a promise ring." You handed the small open box her way. "He asked me to wear it when I'm ready to be with him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH-HO-HO-HO-MYGOD!!! (See what I did there? LOL)
> 
> ***high pitched squeal***
> 
> Okay you guys HAVE to leave me comments on this one!!!
> 
> XOXO


	57. Pieces of Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> When you turned to look at her and Bruce, they were both smiling reassuringly, but expectantly.
> 
> You finally spoke, "It's a promise ring." You handed the small open box her way. "He asked me to wear it when I'm ready to be with him."

Nat gasped as Bruce looked over her shoulder smiling as she spoke, "Oh, (Y/N). It's beautiful." She beamed at you and whispered as she handed it back, "Wow."

You smiled tentatively. It _was_ beautiful and such an amazing gift. Not only the ring, but basically formally giving himself to you and waiting for you to decide when and if you'll be ready to be with him. That- is beautiful. But, for something so serious, there sat a pit in your stomach with someone's name on it. That name was Sebastian. You sighed heavily and closed the box. Nat gave you a supportive, but clearly disappointed closed mouth smile when you didn't put the ring on and at seeing how hesitant this all made you. She knew you needed more time... But she still had hopes. She knew you'd be so happy with Chris if you could just fucking get there. She could tell you were close though. You just needed something- something to finally flip that switch.

"Well? You want to call him? I mean, he's gotta be awake, right?", she asked, knowing that he was two time zones ahead of you.

"Well, the note did say to call him after I opened my gift and that he'd be waiting.", you pulled your mouth to one side. "I probably should. It's what he asked- or affectionately demanded, rather.", you chuckled.

Nat smiled and hitched her head to one side and winked, "Go on."

You picked up your phone and left for the kitchen while Bruce and Nat cuddled on the couch to finish their coffee and basically gossip about you and Chris.

You dialed his number and waited.

He had actually already gotten up much earlier than he had needed to in order to wait for your call. As he was sitting in the living room of his parents' house, waiting for his phone to ring, the rest of the house woke up and they opened gifts. Afterwards he said he was going to go lay back in bed for a little bit before breakfast was ready. He laid his head down on the pillow and gripped his phone in his hand on his chest and fell asleep within moments.

When he woke again, his phone was quietly ringing. He forced his exhausted eyes open, finding that his phone was no longer in his hand, but on the bed, next to him. He picked it up and blinked a few times at the display. It was you and he answered quickly.

His voice was gravelly, but soft, soothing and sounded slightly strained when he picked up, like he might be stretching, "Heyyyy, sweetheart. Merry Christmas."

A small smile quickly found your lips. "Merry Christmas, Chris.", you offered softly.

"Okay, before you say anything-", his voice was a touch more lively now. "Questions. One, did you open my gift?"

"Yes.", your voice offered no indication of your state of emotion, which was actually kind of jumbled at the moment, so you couldn't really convey any one emotion anyway.

"Two, did you open the little box that was inside the sweater, read the note in the little box and open the little box inside the little box that was inside the sweater?"

You were smiling a little more at his redundant use of words, "Yes, I got the ring, Chris."

"Three, did I scare you off?"

"Would I be calling if you had?"

He squinted an eye, "So that's a 'no'?"

"Correct."

You heard him sigh heavily in relief, "Okay. So- We don't need to talk anymore about this, okay? Just follow what the note said; that's all I'm asking." Although, it was eating at him a little that he didn't know if you were wearing it now or not. But, he had put himself out there as far as he possibly could for you and it's now out of his hands, so to speak. So, he did his best to push the question from his mind.

"Alright. I loved the other things you sent. I'm going to wear them to bed tonight. They look really cozy... And the ring is... breathtaking." You couldn't help but smile thinking about how much intention Chris had put behind that gift... and all for you. "Thank you so much, Chris.", you said softly.

He was trying to read into what you said and how you said it, wondering again if it meant you were wearing it or not. He cursed himself mentally and just tried to be present with you. "You are so very welcome, (Y/N)." He paused. "I opened your gift too.", you could hear him smiling. "I love it. It's perfect. My Dad tried to steal it.", he chuckled.

"Well, then maybe I'll just have to knit him his own.", you chortled.

About two weeks later, late on a Friday night, Bruce and Nat had gone to bed and you were talking to Chris while laying on the couch with the TV on quietly. As much as he tried to ignore it, he still wondered constantly if you were wearing the ring he gave you. Though, he suspected that if you were you might be acting differently, more open maybe... More affectionate in the way you spoke to him... Or that you might just tell him your were wearing it. Or maybe you just didn't want him to know until he came home; until he could see it on your finger himself.

The two of you were talking about anything and everything for two hours... Except your relationship. But, that was okay. It didn't need to be talked about right now; it just needed to be lived.

"Bad enough that you were away for Christmas, it double sucks that you weren't here for New Year's Eve.", you pouted over the line.

"Aw. You needed me to kiss you, didn't you?"

You giggled, "I just really miss my best friend. And it's kinda fun to get a little drunk in your presence."

"So you needed me to carry you." You both laughed, then he continued, "Three weeks. God, I'm so excited to get home.", he said softly.

You smiled, your eyelids starting to droop as sleep wanted to take over, "Me too.", you said through a yawn, then your voice was quiet, soft and smooth, "I'll probably be following you around like a puppy for a while when you do."

He hummed contentedly, his own voice low and deep, "Hmmm, I love your sleepy voice, hon. It's so sweet... And sexy."

Your heart skipped a beat and then you smiled as your eyes closed, humming yourself in response.

"Okay, stop it.", he scolded playfully.

You stretched, your eyes remaining closed while you started to drift off. your voice still soft, but slightly strained with pleasure, because stretching just felt so damn good, "Mmm, stop what?"

"Jesus...", his voice was barely above a whisper. "What are you doing over there?"

You let out a huff of a laugh, "Stretching."

"Wow. If that's what stretching sounds like...", he trailed off.

You half chortled, half giggled and scolded him playfully now, "Chris."

"What? I'm still a guy and we think things. And sometimes we say those things... When we're tired... and lonely... And missing our best girl."

Just as he finished his thought, you smiled softly and started falling asleep.

After a moment of him waiting for a response, he spoke again, "Sweetheart?"

You're eyes didn't open, but you gained enough consciousness to reply, "That's so sweet, Chris."

"It's the truth. Are you falling asleep?"

"Uh, yeah. I should probably go to bed, but I don't want to hang up.", you chortled.

"Then don't.", he replied. "Leave the line open and I'll hang up after a while."

You smiled softly and sighed, "Okay. Goodnight, Chris."

You could hear that he was smiling too, "Goodnight, (Y/N). Sweet dreams."

You fell asleep quickly and started to dream some time after. You were sitting on a couch in a waiting room with Sebastian, holding hands. You didn't know what kind of waiting room it was, you didn't know why you were there and not knowing made you a little nervous. Sebastian stood and pulled you up to your feet. He looked into your eyes and smiled slightly. Your heart felt like something was pulling at it seeing his face again. He cupped your face with both hands and gave you a soft kiss. You felt your throat tightening like your were going to cry. He held you close against him until Chris came in through a door that you sensed came from a hallway. Chris stepped to the side of you and Sebastian. Sebastian took your hand and put it in Chris's, which Chris was holding out for you. You looked up from your hand in Chris's to Sebastian, confused. Sebastian circled around you and stopped behind you as Chris moved to stand in front of you.. Sebastian snaked an arm around your waist snugly and moved his hand over your hand that Chris wasn't holding and intertwined his fingers with yours. Your gaze went to Chris, his eyes loving. He placed a light hand on your cheek and he kissed you gently as Sebastian still embraced you from behind. You couldn't bring yourself to break the kiss... Because you wanted it. When Chris pulled back, Sebastian kissed the back of your head and curled his fingers open and closed over your stomach before he stepped away and went to a different door than the one Chris came in from. Your heart sank. Sebastian turned to face you both. He simply smiled and blinked slowly at you, then he took one step back into the closed door and disappeared through it.

Your eyes opened and you sat up on the couch, the sun illuminating the living room through the lightly colored curtains. You blinked a few times, slightly taken aback and playing the events of your dream over in your head.

My God, did he really mean it? Did he really mean what he said to Chris... to the fullest? 'Take care of my girl.', he had said. _'Take care of my girl.'_ Your mind flashed to moments in times passed. That night around the fire when Chris pulled your drunk ass onto his lap and Sebastian smiled while watching Chris hold you. When Chris came home again after finding out that you and Sebastian were together, he gave you and Chris time alone to embrace and reconnect. After Chris punched Sebastian being protective of you, Sebastian never challenged Chris during that incident, actually thanked him for what he had done and allowed Chris to comfort you _intimately_ to make amends. The pieces were clicking into place. Oh my God, did Sebastian see something there? Did he see that you loved Chris before you even had? Was Chris in love with you all this time and did Sebastian see that too? Your hand went to your mouth in shock and realization. 

Sebastian never stopped anything between you and Chris; and a couple times he even _encouraged_ it. He had _never_ acted jealous or territorial with Chris when it came to you. You and Chris were the only ones who had kept things from moving forward between the two of you. Sebastian never stood in the way. He really meant it.

_'Take care of my girl.'_

And Chris promised Sebastian that he would.

Your eyes closed and the tears came as you whispered to yourself, "Oh my God."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, uhhhhh, I think I just managed to blow my own mind... Which is a bizarre feeling as an author.
> 
> I keep telling you guys that these characters control me, not vice versa and you don't believe me, lol.
> 
> Okay, there was something I was trying to convey in reader's thoughts without actually saying it. Please tell me your interpretation of what she was realizing. I just want to see if I accomplished what I was going for there.
> 
> Let me know what you think; this was a crazy ass chapter that I would love feedback on.
> 
> You guys rock! Lots of love!
> 
> XOXO


	58. When

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> Sebastian never stopped anything between you and Chris; and a couple times he even encouraged it. He had never acted jealous or territorial with Chris when it came to you. You and Chris were the only ones who had kept things from moving forward between the two of you. Sebastian never stood in the way. He really meant it.
> 
> 'Take care of my girl.'
> 
> And Chris promised Sebastian that he would.
> 
> Your eyes closed and the tears came as you whispered to yourself, "Oh my God."

Another two weeks had passed; only one more week until Chris was coming home. He seemed to be pretty mellow about you now since he gave you the ring. He would still flirt with you, but it was pretty mild; friendly. You were beyond excited for him to get home and so was he; even more so than you. He didn't have the circle of friends with him there, like you did while he was gone. He was pretty damn home sick by now.

You were reading and having tea in the living room at Nat's one Saturday afternoon. You were already in comfy attire, ready to stay in for the evening in the thigh high socks and the cardigan Chris gave you for Christmas, one of Chris's black t-shirts underneath. The socks came to a several inches above the knee. The t-shirt's length was about mid thigh and the cardigan just long enough to leave a few inches of exposed skin between it and the socks' top hems. Your legs were curled on the couch to your side, covered in a fluffy lap blanket.

It was late enough that the sun was starting to going down and it would soon be dinner time. Nat was rushing around the house getting ready as her and Bruce were going to go to an early movie and then dinner. She came galloping down the stairs in her bra and jeans, "(Y/N), have you seen my teal sweater?"

You looked over your shoulder up at her, squinting in thought, then answered, "You wore it just two days ago, then did laundry yesterday,", you pointed, "it's probably still in the dryer."

"Shit.", she muttered. "It's gonna be all wrinkled." She headed for the laundry room through the kitchen.

You called after her, "Throw a damp washcloth in with it and run it for 10 minutes and the wrinkles'll come out!"

"Cool! Thanks!" She shouted back. After a moment she passed the back of the couch again to head upstairs, still in her bra.

Once they had left you read for about another hour before the doorbell rang. Nat had asked if you would be home for the night so her sister could drop off some DVDs she had borrowed. When you opened the door, there he stood.

Your heart stopped and your breath caught. Your face lit up like the Fourth of July. You beamed brightly and he returned a huge grin as you shrieked and threw your arms around his neck to hug him, "OH MY GOD, CHRIS!"

"Hey, sweetheart.", he chuckled, hugging you back tightly.

When you had lifted your arms, the t-shirt and cardigan had hiked up and you could feel the cold winter air chilling your legs and traveling upwards while you embraced in the open doorway. You pulled back, still smiling and took a step behind you to invite him in, "Come in." He took few steps inside and couldn't stop smiling at you as you closed the door. You hugged around his middle this time, head against his chest, taking in his scent. God, finally, the real thing!

He wrapped his arms around you securely and put his cheek on your head, "I missed you so much, (Y/N)."

"Are you home now or just visiting?"

"I'm home, hon.", he kissed to top of your head before replacing his cheek to your head.

You squeezed him harder almost wanting to cry, "Ugh, God. I'm so glad. I missed you like crazy."

After a beat he took one step back, released you and surveyed what you were wearing, cocking an eyebrow, "Well, look at you." Seeing you for the first time in damn near three months and you were wearing the gifts he'd given you. It warmed his heart. And they way you looked in those things was very inticing indeed. You smiled shyly as his gaze became intense and then he squinted at your midsection, "Is that my shirt?"

You nodded, "Yeah,", you huffed out a small chuckle. "I've been wearing them a lot."

He nodded and pulled up one side of his mouth in a closed, half smile. His face then relaxed. He gently grasped just the fingertips of your left hand hanging near your side. Your fingertips were all that was exposed, since your cardigan sleeves were so long. As he lifted your hand, his eyes glanced into yours and then back to your hand. Your heart started beating faster; you knew what he was doing. His other hand came to grasp your sleeve and pull it back off your hand... and there on your finger was the ring he had given you.

His eyes met yours again. His chest heaved exaggeratedly once as he took a full, deep breath in extreme relief, but his brows pulled together in the center almost in disbelief. You smiled softly at him and the corners of his mouth turned up slightly, still holding the rest of his expression.

His gaze then became fierce, but loving; dominant, but gentle. He wrapped his arm around your back, the fingers of his other hand slipping into your hair at the nape of your neck. He leaned in, gently pulling you against him, his breath heavier now and he rested his forehead against yours. Your heart was racing, your own breath quickened and your hands had come to rest tucked between the two of you on his chest. His and your eyes were both closed when he murmured softly, "My baby."

Your stomach fluttered at the tender way he staked a claim to you. Keeping the contact with his forehead, you turned your head slightly, letting out a sharp sigh then rolling your head back to where it had been. You started to tremble and whispered back, "Yes."

He let out a breath he was holding, his face strained, his heart swelled and he felt like it could explode. He was happier than he could ever remember being in his life... You were finally his.

His lips found yours and you parted your own lips as his arms surrounded you and he gave you several light and soft open-mouthed kisses which you willingly returned. Your insides tightened, one of your hands gently grasping the back of his neck while the other gripped his shoulder. His tongue entered your mouth gingerly, then teased your own with firm, gentle strokes. You let out a sigh of whimper against his kiss, causing him to let out a whisper of a restrained groan. But his restraint didn't last long. He turned you both around and pinned you against the door, his pace and pressure increasing as he pressed his body into you.

He broke the kiss and his fiery eyes bore into you as he gently stroked your cheek with curled fingers, his voice low and deep, "I love you, (Y/N). So much. I always have."

Your heart skipped a beat as you stared back into his eyes and let out a whimper of a sob. "I love you, Chris."

Still pressed against you, he took off his coat quickly and tossed it aside. His mouth crashed into yours and he took it hungrily now. He lifted you swiftly, and spun around, putting one hand around your back and the other still under your thigh. The speed of his actions took you buy surprise. Your legs clutched around his waist quickly as your hands held onto him tighter and you let out a barely audible yelp.

As he started for the couch, he chuckled against your neck, giving it a soft, little lick punctuated by a gentle sucking kiss in the same spot. You were already becoming subdued by his arousing actions as he spoke, his voice gruff, "Don't worry, sweetheart. I won't let you fall."

You could only moan quietly in response at his soft mouth touching you so amazingly, both your hands now in his hair as he layed you down on the couch and settled himself over you. He nuzzled the other side of you neck and gave you tender kisses there, supporting himself on one elbow, his hand under your upper back. His other hand gripped your side tightly and squeezed while you had an arm hooked around his neck and the other gripping his shoulder as you whimpered. You could feel a coiling in your lower belly already and you couldn't help but move your hips slightly under him.

He let out a short throaty growl against your skin in response to your little noise and movement, "God, (Y/N). You're driving me crazy already." He gave your neck one more soft open mouthed kiss and pulled back to look at you; nothing but love in his eyes. He stroked your cheek as you spoke.

"Take me home, Chris."

He smiled softly and kissed your lips once, "How about a date first?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think!
> 
> I love this chapter.
> 
> Much love.
> 
> XOXO


	59. Just A Little More

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Super short chapter, sorry.***
> 
> REFRESHER:
> 
> He let out a short throaty growl against your skin in response to your little noise and movement, "God, (Y/N). You're driving me crazy already." He gave your neck one more soft open mouthed kiss and pulled back to look at you; nothing but love in his eyes. He stroked your cheek as you spoke.
> 
> "Take me home, Chris."
> 
> He smiled softly and kissed your lips once, "How about a date first?"

You started to grin and then your face fell, "Shit."

Chris furrowed his brows as he was now affectionately tickling you side with the knuckles of his curled fingers through his shirt that you were wearing, "What's wrong?"

You slid a hand over one side of his neck and stroked the hair of his beard at the jawline with your thumb. He closed his eyes and leaned his head into your touch and opened them again when you spoke and dropped your hand to his shoulder, "I have to wait for Nat's sister. She's coming to drop off DVDs."

He reached down to the thigh of your bent leg near his hip, he started near the outside of your knee and slid his hand upward, causing you to take a deep breath, glaring at him in a playfully scolding manner. He shook his head slowly, one side of his mouth hitched in a michevious half smile. "No she's not."

"Wait. She's not?"

"Nope, it was all a ruse to make you stay put so I could come do this." He gave you a firm squeeze where your hip met your thigh, making you bite your lower lip. He smiled, enjoying what his actions could make you do to turn him on in return. His mouth met your neck again, kissing softly as he growled against your skin, "You're so fucking sexy, baby."

You gripped his neck and let out a vocal sigh, tilting your head to give him better access to your neck. His words of praise and his warm mouth were causing you to become wet quickly. He lifted one of your legs and wrapped it around his waist. You followed his lead and lifted the other around him as well. He kissed your mouth again, a light hand on your cheek as he pressed his hard length against your slightly spread center, then rolling his hips against you once, languidly. You could feel the zipper and seamed fabric of his jeans pressing against you in a deliciously sensitive spot through your thin panties, causing you to break the kiss and tilt your head back with a gasp. He watched your face as you did, biting his lip. He could tell already that watching the reactions play across your face would be one of his favorite things to do when he was finally able to be inside you.

He kissed along your jaw, rolling his hips slowly once more, pulling a soft moan from you. Then he spoke low near your ear, "This is all for you, sweetheart... Soon." He pulled himself out of your embracing legs as he straightened up, pushing them together and leaning them to one side as to not compromise your dignity by being exposed, but mostly to keep himself from continuing. He then stood and offered you a hand.

You eyebrows popped up and you jutted your head forward as you sat upright. "Chris? Why did you stop?", the question ended as a whine, though you didn't mean it to.

His hand was still out, "I got carried away. I'm sorry. You're a little hard to resist." He chuckled and closed and opened his hand quickly.

You pulled your brows together as your eyes traveled to the front of his pants where a part of him was obviously straining against the fabric, just begging to be released. You looked up at him again, your face a bit displeased and wondering how he was acting like he wasn't excited when he obviously was. You spoke softly trying to sway him, "It's okay to get carried away."

He dropped his hand, tilted his head at you, giving you a challenging expression, "You really want our first time to be on Bruce and Nat's couch? Or even in their house for that matter?"

You looked down at the floor and sighed in agreement, "I suppose not."

"Now, c'mere." He held out his hand again and you took it, standing. He put each of your hands over his shoulders, resting his hands on either side of your waist and looking down at you compassionately, "I also stopped because you deserve to be courted before that happens." He kissed your forehead gently and then bumped his own forehead against it before pulling back, smiling.

You smiled back at him, "That sounds really nice."

He nodded, "It will be." He plopped down on the couch, pulling you against his chest, looking up at you, his arms low around your waist. "I'm gonna take you to dinner. So, go get ready..." Since you were his now, he bit his lip and scrunched his nose and gave your ass a smack, "Foxy." He reveled in being able to finally do that without feeling like it was wrong.

You squeaked and giggled, "Yes, sir." You bent over, took his face in your hands and kissed him. You could feel him smiling against your mouth as he hummed. As your lips left his and you straightened, his eyes opened slowly, then he spoke softly, his face relaxed, "I love you."

You smiled back as you felt your stomach flutter. "I love you." You started for the stairs, his hands grazing your thighs when you stepped out of his embrace.

As you moved up the stairs he turned and called up to you, pointing at you, "Don't wear anything too sexy, I'm having a hard enough time controlling myself as it is." He waved a hand dismissively, "Ahhh, just wear a garbage bag... But even then I can't guarentee that I'll behave."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short, fluffy, almost smutty chapter. Sorry.
> 
> Wanted to get you guys something soon since I wasn't able to post last night.
> 
> I *hope* I can get you another chapter today!
> 
> xoxo
> 
> Edited the day after this was posted: Sorry no chapter tonight, guys. I'm so tired and I can't keep my eyes open, let alone think enough to write. Sorry! Goodnight!


	60. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Refresher:
> 
> As you moved up the stairs he turned and called up to you, pointing at you, "Don't wear anything too sexy, I'm having a hard enough time controlling myself as it is." He waved a hand dismissively, "Ahhh, just wear a garbage bag... But even then I can't guarentee that I'll behave."

**Song: March Into The Sun by Echosmith**

Once you were ready about 20 minutes later, you came down the stairs and when the couch came into view, you could see that Chris was laying on it, sleeping. He was on his back and had his head against the arm rest with one of his arms bent over his head. His feet were both still on the floor, one of his legs stretched out and he was snoring softly.

You smiled sympathetically and wondered if he had come over straight after his flight, leaving him feeling exhausted. You walked around the couch with light steps. You saw that there was just enough room on the edge of the couch to perch one side of your butt next to his side. As you sat, he stirred a little and you placed your hand on his chest.

His eyes opened and blinked a couple times as he laid a hand over yours and he smiled softly, his voice sleepy, "Hey."

"Hey.", you replied.

His eyes closed again and it took him a beat to remember where he was... And that you were his girlfriend now. The corners of his mouth pulled up at the thought while he gripped your hand at his chest and pulled it towards his head to pull you closer and over him.

You started laughing, "What are you doing?"

He opened his eyes, wrapped his arm near the couch around your back and lifted his head to see where your legs were. His other arm reached down and hooked under you knees and pulled you onto him completely. You squeaked and giggled, which made him let out a quick chuckle; it was kind of awkward, considering the way you had both been positioned. He replied, "I need a blanket made of my beautiful woman." You smiled sweetly and he kissed your lips quickly and noticed the awkwardness of how you both were. He shifted, stretching his inside leg down the length of the couch and effortlessly moved your lower half over his, your legs coming to rest between his own.

You laid your head on his chest. "It's kind of fun when you manhandle me.", you joked.

He stroked your hair, "Oh, you just wait, honey."

You felt a fluttering between your hips and let out a low sound that was half chuckle, half hum. You listened to his heartbeat for a moment, feeling the familiar comfort that you never realized before now that only his heart could provide you. You closed your eyes and got lost in it for a minute as he continued to hold you and stroke your hair, getting lost in his own comfort from having you in his arms.

You finally spoke, "So, you fell asleep. Did you come straight from the airport?"

He took a deep breath and started tickling your back, "I got my car first, but I had to see you as soon as I could. And I had to see if you were wearing the ring. Waiting for both those things was torture."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be.", he kissed your head.

"How did you get your car?"

"Sam picked me up and drove me to the house."

"Did everyone know you were coming home but me?", you chuckled.

He let out a soft laugh, "Pretty much."

"That's okay, I made everyone swear not to tell you I was wearing your ring. I wanted you to find out for yourself. I was so excited for you to see."

He pressed his cheek against your head, smiled and gave you a squeeze, "I'm okay with that; gave me to the chance to kiss and hold you right away. Had I found out while we were still apart, it probably would've driven me insane."

You both laughed and you lifted your head to look up at him, "Do you want to just go home and sleep?"

He pulled up a corner of his mouth for a quick beat, "Nah, I got a nap, I'm good for a while. I can sleep later."

"Kay.", you beamed and puckered your lips out at him as far as they would go.

He chortled and lifted his head to give you a quick peck, "You're so damn cute. Too many times that I've been away from you since we met and missed so many things... Never again."

Your heart swelled and you wondered how many times in a day a person could give another butterflies. You knew now that this was right; you and him. You _knew_. You wished you hadn't waited so long to accept his love because you understood now that you always wanted it, but you also knew that you had to work through your feelings about Sebastian, because now, you could give Chris all of you. And Nat was right, this time apart made your relationship stronger. So strong that now you wanted to tell him every minute...

"I love you, Chris."

He smiled and took a deep breath, shifted you and started to sit up. You took his queue and got up. He stood and wrapped his arms around you once more, looking down at you affectionately, "I'll never get tired of hearing that." He slid a gentle hand along your jaw and placed his forehead against yours, "And I'll never get tired of saying it..." He kissed you so soft and slow, "I love you, (Y/N)."

You both got your coats on and he led you out the door by the hand, waiting as you locked it behind you. He rested his hand on your hip while he was against your backside, his body warming you in the cold. With his other hand, he swept your hair to one side and softly kissed your neck several times as both hands were now on your hips, his thumbs stroking the soft curve of you lower back. His lips paused just long enough for him to speak softly, "I hope it's okay that I can't stop touching you."

You hummed, putting a hand to the back of his head, melting at his touch, "It's more than okay, love."

He was the one melting now at what you called him. He wrapped his arms around your middle and kissed your neck again, "Mmm, good. 'Cause I'm gonna be doing it a lot. I have long time of wanting to touch you that I need to make up for."

He got you both into the car and started down the street. He took your hand in his and rested it on your thigh. You asked, "Where we going?"

He hitched his mouth to the side, squinted an eye and scoffed, "Like you even have to ask."

You smiled, "Sushi?"

"Of course.", he chuckled.

Dinner was full of that touching he had talked about. You sat side by side, either holding hands, your head on his shoulder or his hand on your inner thigh near the knee under the table, tracing light circles with his fingertips. Dear Lord, he sure knew how to touch you perfectly... Making you want him. There were soft, quiet laughs exchanged and he snuck kisses whenever he saw an opportunity. Once your meal was over, you could see how tired he really was now, having a full tummy. He was blinking slowly and his voice was soft with drowsiness.

You leaned closer to his side, your arm around his back and your other hand over his bicep as he leaned toward you to hear you, his forearms resting on the table. You spoke low in his ear, "We should get you home, sleepy bear." You gave him a soft kiss on the neck just under his ear.

He smiled a little and hummed quietly at the cute name you called him and your kiss. God, that felt good. "I still need to take you to a movie, sweetheart."

You smiled at him as he turned his head and kissed your forehead as you replied, "We can put on a movie at home if you want and go to the theater another time. That way you can just sleep as soon as you want. You're barely staying awake, honey."

He took a long blink, "Okay." He fished his keys out of his pocket and handed them to you so you could drive.

On the drive home, he slouched in his seat a bit, but managed to stay awake by talking to you and then texting Sam and Nat back. They had texted him during dinner to ask how things went, but he didn't answer out of courtesy. His hand was resting on your thigh, his thumb stroking it while he held his phone in the other hand, tapping it with his thumb. He appeared to still be incapable of not actively touching you yet. You were glad you were able to concentrate on driving being slightly aroused. You then started to wonder how guys managed to not wreck while driving and getting a blow job. "How do guys not wreck getting head while driving?", you blurted out before you could stop yourself.

Chris's head snapped from his phone in your direction, he blinked rapidly a few times and his eyebrows shot up, "What?!" He chuckled.

"Well, what you're doing to my leg is getting me a little excited and it made me wonder how guys don't drive off the road while getting a blow job."

He removed his hand, "I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean to distract you. And I have no idea; never happened to me."

"Oh. Okay.", you took a mischievous mental note of his response. "I didn't say I wanted you to stop." You put your hand on his resting on his leg and glanced at him smiling, before returning your eyes to the road.

He smiled, took your hand and kissed it, making you glance at him once more, both of you exchanging loving looks. He then put your hand to the steering wheel and returned to resting his on your thigh and continued stroking it.

You hummed and licked your lips, "Mmm, that feels soo good." You glanced at him again, biting the corner of your lip, grinning softly.

He was smiling sleepily; the poor guy. "Touching you feels so good, baby girl."

Oh, wow. My God. So many butterflies. That statement combined with what he called you made you want him so badly now. You just wanted to get him home and get him inside you, that glorious body of his pressed against you... But, he desperately needed sleep. You'd put him straight to bed instead. "I like that.", you responded.

"What?", he asked.

You pulled into the driveway and parked the car, turning it off, "Well, what you said, of course. But what you called me...", you looked at him, "I really like that; gave me butterflies."

"Oh yeah?", he undid his seatbelt and leaned over, putting a hand on your cheek, his other hand still on your thigh, he whispered in your ear as he squeezed the inside of your thigh firmly, "I love you, baby girl.". He then kissed your cheek.

"God, how do you do that?", you inquired, chuckling.

He chuckled himself, sitting back in his seat again, "Do what?"

"Melt my heart and turn me on at the same time?"

"I love you and you love me back. Pretty simple.", he winked.

Once you got in the house, you both got ready for bed. You had brought an overnight bag from Nat's and would pick up all your other stuff the next day.

You both propped some pillows against Chris's headboard and turned on the TV. You both agreed to activate the sleep timer since you both would probably be out soon.

Chris was fading fast, so he wasn't even going to try to watch TV. He gently turned your head with a light hand on your jaw and he kissed you tenderly, softly teasing your tongue with his own and squeezing your side firmly, pulling a quiet moan from you. He hummed in response and then nuzzled his nose against your cheek. "I really hope I don't wake up to find this was all a dream, cuz it sure feels like one."

You turned your head to touch his, lifted your chin, kissed his forehead and gave his arm that was now drapped over you a squeeze, "You won't, honey. I promise."

He smiled and gave you a squeeze back, his eyes already closed as he started to drift off, "I love you, baby girl... So lucky you're finally mine."

"I love you, Chris. I'm a pretty lucky that such a great guy waited so long for me."

He hummed, "You're worth every minute." And he was out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!
> 
> Love you guys!
> 
> xoxo


	61. Are We There Yet?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> He smiled and gave you a squeeze back, his eyes already closed as he started to drift off, "I love you, baby girl... So lucky you're finally mine."
> 
> "I love you, Chris. I'm a pretty lucky that such a great guy waited so long for me."
> 
> He hummed, "You're worth every minute." And he was out.

**Song: Holler by The Spice Girls**

You watched TV a little while longer with Chris cuddled against your side, his arms wrapped around you tightly as if he was afraid that if he let you go, he'd lose you. You suspected he might need some reassurance for a while that you weren't going anywhere and that he had won your heart completely. You would be more than happy to do just that if it's what he needed. You soon drifted off yourself.

The next morning, you started to roll over to get out of the bed and Chris gripped you tighter, pulling you closer against him. You groaned at the resistance of your action; damn he was strong. His voice was a low croak, "No. Where you going, baby?"

You chuckled and rolled into him more to face him, swinging your leg over his waist, inciting a hum from him as he gripped it tighter against himself. He opened his eyes sleepily and you stroked his face and kissed his lips softly, "I'm just gonna get up, handsome. Go back to sleep, you need it."

"Don't.", was all he replied with.

You laughed, "But I'm hungry."

"I'm hungry too." He leaned over and grazed your neck gently with his teeth in a biting motion, pulling your leg over him even more.

"Oh God.", you whispered wrapping your arms around him, titling your head back. He started kissing your neck softly and let out a low chuckle against your skin. Then you asked, "So, have you courted me enough?"

He moved to your jaw with his lips, "Mm-mm."

You let out a whimper, feeling the heat rise between your legs quickly. "We should go on like, five dates today. That's enough, right?"

He let out a quiet laugh and his lips danced across you collarbone, "What's wrong, sweetheart? You gettin' all worked up?" He wanted you so badly himself and he couldn't help but tease you, he loved your reactions. It really pleased him to see how much you wanted him.

You sighed and whimpered again, "Yes."

He kissed your lips quickly, "Love you, baby girl. Now go eat." He smacked your ass and rolled onto his back and closed his eyes.

You narrowed your eyes at him. Two can play this game. You crawled on top of him, putting your hands at either side of his neck and kissed him deeply.

His hands went to your hips as he hummed against your mouth. He was caught by surprise as he didn't consider that you'd counter his actions. For all the time he knew you, he never would've thought you had an ounce of dominance in you. You kissed his neck, soft and slow, using your tongue. He moaned and gripped your hips more firmly. When he did, you bit his neck gently and rolled your hips against his steadily hardening length.

He sucked in a breath, "Ah. Shit."

You hummed and smiled against his skin, assaulting his neck with rough kisses. You moved against him more, wiggling around, reveling in the sensation that rubbing your sensitive little bundle of nerves against his hardness through both your clothing afforded you. You lifted your head, tilting it back and you let out a loud vocal sigh.

He grunted, his face strained as he pressed your hips against him tightly. Not to spur either of you on, but to halt your motions. He had wanted to wait a while before sleeping with you so that he could be respectful and not rush into it. Not to say that what he kept doing to you was completely respectful, but you deserved more before moving on to the next level. He hadn't meant to push you so far and now that you were the one seducing him, he was losing control of his own restraint and the pace of your relationship. And what he didn't expect is the guilt that crept in. For the first time, he was so close to just letting go and making love to you. His own feelings of betraying his best friend bubbled up quickly, suddenly, in that moment. He loved you and wanted you so much, but he realized he just wasn't ready. "Baby, stop.", he panted.

You stopped trying to move against his strong hold and pulled back, smirking, "What's wrong?"

"All that squirming...", he closed his eyes and sighed.

You raised your eyebrows and asked coyly, "You don't like it?"

"I really do, but let's wait, okay?"

"Okay.", you said quietly as you slid off him, but still laying close with your arm over his ribs. He held your arm against him, his other arm around your back. "Chris?"

He turned his head to look at you.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Let's just give it a little time, alright, sweetie?" You nodded and he kissed you again, "It's just what I told you before, you deserve more than rushing into this and I think it's a good idea to work up to it slowly, okay? I'm sorry I pushed you." _"And now I've got some of my own feelings to work through."_ , he thought.

"You didn't. It's fine. Don't worry, okay?"

He smiled lovingly at you, "You're so amazing." He stroked your cheek, "Let's get some breakfast."

"You should try to sleep, if you can.", you chuckled. "I'll go make breakfast and bring it to you if you're still awake, okay?"

He sighed, smiled slightly and nodded, "I love you, sweetheart."

"I love you, honey.", you kissed him once more and rolled out of his arms to go make breakfast.

When you were finished making breakfast, you checked on him and he had fallen asleep again. So you covered his plate with foil and put it in the oven to keep it warm.

The next two weeks were wonderful. Chris was so sweet and loving, spoiling you every chance he had. He got up early every weekday day to make you breakfast. He sent you flowers at work, even though you worked in the same office. He took you out to dinner a few times a week and to the movies once or twice a week. He took you shopping a couple times for anything he could think you might want. You declined at first, but he talked you into it. You figured that if he wanted to do it so badly, there was no harm in enjoying it. His favorite thing to buy you was clothes. He liked picking out things he'd like to see you in and he liked seeing you try them on even more. What you liked was when girls, and some guys, gawked at him in public, but he never even noticed them. He was too busy fawning over you all the time.

There were also quite a few hot make out sessions between the two of you. They had actually become pretty thrilling considering that you had both agreed to wait on sex. Getting so worked up without having a release was quite amazing in itself. Though, it actually encouraged you to take care of yourself in the shower often. You suspected that Chris was most likely doing the same for himself. At least you hoped he was considering that you knew you always pushed him to his limits.

On a Saturday you had the group over since the weather was starting to warm up again. It was still cold, but not the biting cold of mid-winter, so you had a fire going that night. People were rotating in and out of the house, coming in to warm up before heading out the the fire again. At one point you and Nat were sitting in chairs alone near the fire as Chris was inside with the others playing cards and talking. You and Nat both had a few drinks in you by now, swigging some beer.

"So... How's it going?", Nat inquired, with an eyebrow cocked.

You smiled slightly and sighed, "Really good. Thank you so much for helping us out Nat. You did so much."

"I had to.", she grinned. "You two are perfect for each other."

You furrowed your brows, "I thought Seb and I were perfect for each other."

She titled her head, "You were. You can be perfect with more than one person, (Y/N). They're both right for you."

You thought over what she said for a beat, "You wanna hear something funny?"

"Always.", she scooted forward in her seat to lean in closer as you did the same and spoke low.

"Before I decided to be with Chris, I had a dream where Seb was basically handing me over to Chris."

She nodded.

"Then thinking back over all our time together, the three of us, I realized that Seb never stepped between Chris and I- on any level. Nat, he even seemed to be nudging us together at times."

Her eyebrows shot up, "Reeeally? How so?"

You nodded, "Yeah, like when Chris left for two weeks and then came back home. I was hugging Chris for a long while and then Seb told us that he was going to give us some time alone and he went out front."

She hitched her head forward, "Uh-huh..."

"And when Chris punched him and after we all talked it out- Chris was apologizing to me. He was so close, holding my face in his hands, speaking so lovingly and I thought for sure he was going to kiss me. He didn't, but Seb was standing right there. He said and did nothing."

She leaned back a little, "Wow. I mean, I could tell that Seb was okay with you and Chris still being close friends, but that- (Y/N), it sounds like he could see how you and Chris really felt about each other. Maybe he was trying to silently tell you both that he would be okay with _you_ being with both of them."

"That's kind of what I was thinking. It blows my mind."

"Yeah, but I mean, you all have always been really close. It actually makes a lot of sense now that I think about it. Seb loved you so much. I think he just wanted you to be as happy as you could be. And if he could see that you loved Chris too... It makes sense, hon."

You took a sip of your beer, "Yeah. It was that realization that finally pushed me to accept that I could be with Chris without feeling like I was wronging Seb."

She nodded, "I'm glad. And I hate to say it considering how it might make you feel, but I regret that you couldn't all be together. I think the three of you would've been really happy. I'm sorry, (Y/N)."

You teared up a bit, "Yeah. Me too."

She leaned over the armrest of her chair to hug you, "At least you know that he wanted this for you."

You nodded and smiled a little, "Yeah."

Chris came out with his hands in his jacket pockets and meandered over to the fire. As he approached, he spoke, "Hey, baby girl, aren't you two freezing out here? Why don't you come inside for a bit? We're gonna start a game of Taboo."

Nat stood as Chris took your hand and pulled you up. She chirped, "I love taboo things!"

Chris looked into your eyes as he pulled you to him, "Me too." He winked.

The night wore on and the drinks kept disappearing. You were just over the drunk line. Chris had stoked the fire again after the game and everyone had enough booze in them to be less affected by the cold, so you all headed out back again. You were sitting sideways on Chris's lap, just watching him talking to everyone, admiring him. At one point he turned to you feeling you staring at him and he smiled, "Hey, little love." He kissed your lips.

You smiled back, your eyes relaxed, butterflies tickling your tummy, "Hi, handsome." You loved the way he looked at you, all affection and adoration. You settled your head against his neck and closed your eyes, listening to his deep voice. It soothed you. He kissed your head and kept talking. You felt yourself starting to drift off.

It was then that you announced that you had to pee, quite loudly. Everyone laughed and Chris tilted away from your shout, scrunching up his face, "Damn."

"Oh. Sorry, honey.", you giggled and squeezed his face in your hand, then kissed his cheek.

"It's okay, sweetheart. I've got another ear, didn't need the that one.", he chuckled. "I'll take you in."

He led you inside by the hand and took you to the bathroom. "I'll be in the kitchen.", he gave you a little pat on the ass. You giggled and closed the door.

When you came back out, he was unloading bottles of beer from a box and putting them in the fridge. You walked to just behind him and hoisted yourself up to sit in the island countertop. "I miss you.", you said just as he put the last of the beers in the fridge, shut it and turned.

He chuckled and stepped in front of you. Resting his front against the counter between your legs. "I miss you even when I'm this close to you, baby." He rested his hands on your thighs and your arms went around his neck as he leaned in to kiss your lips softly.

You smiled lazily, blinking slowly.

He grinned, "You're kinda cute when you're drunk."

You leaned foward and kissed him slowly. He wrapped his arms around you, stroking your back with his thumbs as he kissed you in return. When his tongue entered your mouth, you hummed sweetly and he hummed back in response. His tongue caressed yours gently. You felt yourself getting aroused quickly. He broke the kiss and rested his forehead against yours and whispered, "I love you, sweetheart."

"I love you." You paused, "I want you tonight, Chris."

He sighed and pulled back, "You're drunk, honey."

"I'm well aware.", you cocked an eyebrow and scooted closer, pressing your crotch against him.

He put his hands on your hips and slid you back a bit, "I'm not gonna do that when you're drunk. Not when I'm not also drunk and especially not our first time. Not like this. Not tonight."

Your face showed disappointment as you looked downward.

He dipped his head down and lifted your chin with a finger, looking into your eyes lovingly, "It wouldn't be right, baby girl. It's not because I don't want you. You should know by now that I really want you. It's because I respect you."

His words were completely reassuring and you greatly appreciated that he was being such a gentleman and actually considered yourself really lucky for that. "Okay."

 _"And I just gotta get through my own shit. I'm almost there."_ , he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading lovelies! This is juuuuust getting good. Full fluff ahead! How much longer can these kids wait?! God, even I'm getting impatient! Reader's trying to break him. LOL
> 
> Let me know what you think.
> 
> Thanks for comments and kudos! Please make a donation of a comment to keep me going!
> 
> Ya'll are awesome! Much love!
> 
> XOXO


	62. Sliver

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any mistakes. Will fix tomorrow.
> 
> Refresher:
> 
> His words were completely reassuring and you greatly appreciated that he was being such a gentleman and actually considered yourself really lucky for that. "Okay."
> 
> "And I just gotta get through my own shit. I'm almost there.", he thought.

The next morning, you woke up and saw that Chris wasn't in bed. You looked at the clock and saw it was after 10. You got up and padded to the kitchen. Chris was leaning his back side against the counter, looking at his phone and sipping coffee, sans shirt. When you walked to him he put his phone down and held out his arm, "Hey, sleeping beauty." You got up on your toes to give him a quick kiss as he put his arm around you. "How ya feelin'?"

You smiled up at him, "Good. Did you eat already?"

"Nope, just waiting for you to get up, then I was gonna go grab us something."

"Babe, you didn't have to wait."

"I don't mind.", he kissed you again. "Coffee?"

"No, I think I'm gonna get a shower first."

"Okay. Whadda ya want?"

"Surprise me."

"Will do." He kissed you one more time, gave your ass a quick squeeze and pushed off the counter as you headed for the bathroom. He went into his room for a shirt and shoes, calling after you, "Love you, foxy."

"Love you, honey.", you called back.

You took your shower, brushed your teeth and went into your room to get dressed. You had just gotten on your bra, panties and jeans when your phone buzzed on the night stand. It was Nat, asking if you wanted to go shopping later with her, Pepper and Jane. You laid on your stomach across your bed, propped on your elbows, just your feet hanging off the edge and you started tapping out a response. You heard the front door open and close, followed by Chris's footsteps. "Breakfast, baby.", he called out.

"Okay. Just a second." You continued texting, coordinating the plan. A moment later he came into the room a spotted you on the bed facing away from him. He licked his lips at the sight of your bare back.

He crawled on the bed over you and slid a hand under your stomach, kissing your shoulder, "What ya doin', sexy?"

You hummed at his kiss, "Texting Nat about going shopping with the girls later."

"Cool. I'll invite the guys over. There's a game on today." He kissed your shoulder once more and started moving backward off you, but stopped midway, resting on his elbows. His hands splayed at your sides, holding you gently and you felt his lips touch your lower back with a soft kiss.

You felt yourself swell down below in a heartbeat and sighed, your hands coming to rest on the bed mid-text, your mouth hanging open. You turned your head and let it fall downward, your back arching slightly at his touch. His lips touched you again along with his tongue in another spot near the first. You whispered, "Uhn, baby."

He hummed at your reaction and stood, patting your ass twice, "Come eat, beautiful."

You looked over your shoulder at him, biting your lip, "That was so sexy. Thank you."

He grinned, "Thank _you_ for being sexy... And half naked."

You smiled, rolled over, sat up and scooted to the edge of the bed, "Promise me you'll do that again."

He offered you a hand and helped you up, pulling you into him, "It would be my pleasure, sweetheart." He crouched down in front of you, placed a knee on the floor, his hands on your hips, "And here." He kissed your stomach in the same manner and continued peppering kisses there as he spoke and you took a jagged, quick breath, your hands coming to rest on his shoulders. "I love your waist. You're so soft, baby girl." He nuzzled his nose against your skin and looked up at you, grinning softly before planting a final kiss on you.

Your chest was heaving so slightly when he stood. You were feeling a pooling in your underwear, knowing that you'd have to change them and regretted having just taken a shower since that's where you relieved yourself. He kissed you softly, then you spoke, "You make me so weak, Chris."

He smiled lazily, "I hope I make you strong too."

You grinned widely, "Yes. Yes you do."

Once you were with the girls at the mall, browsing through the women's clothing in one of the large department stores, Nat came to your side in a rush, "(Y/N), you gotta get this." She held a lacy hot pink push up bra and panty set out to you. She nodded enthusiastically, her eyes wide as you took it.

"Wow. This is-"

"Hot. I know. Get it."

You laughed, "Nat, you are the ultimate wingwoman. I really like this.", you both headed for the register.

"I just love seeing you happy. And nothing makes a girl happier than driving her man crazy with lust, yeah? Have you guys done the dirty deed yet?"

You looked around, wide eyed, spotting an elderly lady only a few feet from you, looking at the two of you while she browsed a dress rack. "Geez, Nat. Keep it down."

"I bet he's a tiger in bed.", she replied to you, speaking a little louder, grinning at the old lady as you passed her, who's eyebrows shot up and her face got red. Her loud statement drew the attention of two women you were passing as well, one with a baby in a stroller. They both giggled.

You laughed and elbowed her, your voice low, "Knock it off, you little shit."

She let out a throaty laugh, "Never."

During that week, you and Chris both finally finished packing up Seb's things to ship the last few boxes to his mother. She said she was fine with the two of you keeping or selling his furniture and electronics. You both decided to donate them. You kept the small Christmas tree that had still been on his desk, putting it in a box to store away. You already had everything you had wanted to keep; his pillows and his shirts, though you never use them anymore, so they got tucked away in your closet. You thought about making a quilt with the shirts. Maybe someday.

You stood there in his empty room while Chris carried the last box upstairs. You had your arms crossed over your chest, holding yourself while you looked around. Nothing. He was completely gone from here now. You felt a stinging in your throat as you welled up, trying to take deep breaths, but failed. You breathing turned to whispered sobs as Chris made it back down the stairs.

He saw you standing in the middle of the room, your back to him, your head hanging down. Your silent crying tugged at his heart, his expression pained; he never liked to see you cry, but now, seeing you as his own girl crying? It was ten times worse.

You heard his scuffling footsteps across the carpet behind you. He said nothing, but instead, wrapped his arms around you while your own were still hugging yourself, tears falling freely amidst your tiny sobs. You rounded and lifted your shoulders, instinctively making yourself smaller as he embraced you. He read your queue and curled around you protectively by rounding his own shoulders and hunching over you a bit and holding you a little tighter, making himself your safe place to hide. He kissed the side or your head softly, then rested his cheek against yours.

You leaned your own head against his cheek.

No words were spoken, they didn't need to be. He was already telling you everything you needed to hear with his actions. And he held you... He just held you.

One week later, in the evening, Sam, Maria, Tony and Pepper came over to hang out and watch a DVD. You were all gathered in the family room, the couples in various states of cuddling, bowls of popcorn divided out and beers in hands. You and Chris were on the short side of the sectional, the other four sharing the long portion. Chris was laying his head on your thigh, his hand tucked under your leg and your arm draped over his ribs under his arm.

You started raking your fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes for a beat, then he turned his head and kissed your jean clad thigh and squeezed it gently from beneath it. It made your stomach flutter and you continued your motions.

When the movie was over, you all chatted a bit and then everyone started filing upstairs to leave, you and Chris walking them all to the door. You said goodbye to all your friends and closed the door behind them. You turned and walked the couple steps it took to get to Chris, smiling softly in the light of the dim end table lamp between the couch and love seat.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and got up on your toes to kiss him soft, but deep. His hands settled on your back as he pressed you against his body and let out a low moan. You both continued kissing slow and passionately for a long few moments, it didn't take long for you to feel yourself teetering on the edge of insanity if you had to go another night without giving yourself to him... And without him taking you.

You broke the kiss and he put his forehead to yours, both of you panting as you spoke barely above a whisper, trembling, "Chris, I can't- I can't wait anymore. I need you."

His faced twisted slightly as his eyes closed, his voice low and slightly strained, "(Y/N), I-" He paused for a excruciatingly long beat, there was still a sliver of guilt hanging on inside him. He barely shook his head against yours, he didn't know which way to go.

You gripped at the back of his neck, clutching his shirt in your other hand against his chest. Your voice was small and desperate, on the verge of crying as you whimpered out the words, "Please, Chris. Please." The last one came out a whisper, "Please."

Hearing your desperation pained him, enough that he felt close to tears himself. Your foreheads still touching, his hands gripping your sides firmly now due to all the intense emotion flowing between you. God, he wanted you so badly, but that minuscule amount of guilt within him was holding him back. But, the dam was getting weak, especially after your pleading with him. His voice came out a growl when he finally spoke... "Fuck, I need you, baby."

His hands held your face as his mouth crashed into yours. He then gripped you under the ass and hiked you up effortlessly, your legs wrapping around his waist. The two of you kept kissing, letting out soft sounds of heightened anticipation as he carried you to his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was that a bad place to end a chapter?....is it....is that a....bad place to end it? Muahahaha! =P
> 
> Poll time!
> 
> 1\. Would you rather have shorter chapters, more frequent updates OR longer chapters, less frequent updates?
> 
> 2\. Should we keep brunette, bearded Chris OR should he go all Cap, being clean shaven and blond (similar to Seb going Bucky with long hair and scruff)?
> 
> Love you guys, you're awesome! Thsnks for everything! I have the best readers!


	63. Inspirit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> Hearing your desperation pained him, enough that he felt close to tears himself. Your foreheads still touching, his hands gripping your sides firmly now due to all the intense emotion flowing between you. God, he wanted you so badly, but that minuscule amount of guilt within him was holding him back. But, the dam was getting weak, especially after your pleading with him. His voice came out a growl when he finally spoke... "Fuck, I need you, baby."
> 
> His hands held your face as his mouth crashed into yours. He then gripped you under the ass and hiked you up effortlessly, your legs wrapping around his waist. The two of you kept kissing, letting out soft sounds of heightened anticipation as he carried you to his room.

**Song: Push It by Garbage**

Once he reached his room, he set you down next to his bed in the darkness, being able to only make out the silhouettes and outlines of each other and the furniture. His hands went to your hips, he turned you and pressed himself against your backside. You could feel that he was already rock hard. You licked your lips, your body getting to work quickly to prepare for him.

While one hand stayed on your hip, his other swept your hair to one side and when his lips met your neck, his hand grasped your other shoulder with his thumb at the base of your neck. He used his hand on your hip to keep it in place against him. He pushed your shoulder forward and bent you over the bed with just enough force to be amazingly arousing.

You let out a tiny whimper, your elbows coming to rest on the mattress. Your little sound made him growl deeply as he folded himself over you.

His presence was commanding, but surprisingly gentle and protective; a perfect balance. Your body had responded to it at break neck speed. Adding his current actions to the kisses you had already shared, you were soaking wet, your passage swollen with the need to feel full. You loved to be treated delicately in bed. But, there was also something terribly rousing about the primal way he was paying you attention; bending you over, being just rough enough... Like he was just going to take what he wanted, but at a slow and passionate pace.

As he was pressed against you, his elbow on the bed, he snaked his arm around your waist snugly. His lips grazed your ear as he spoke, sending a shiver straight to your core, his voice low and gruff, "You ready to finally get what you deserve, sweetheart?" He ground his stiff shaft against your ass.

Holy fuck. A new wave of excitement fluttered though your lower belly. You let out a whimper and arched your back, your voice quiet, "Yes... Please, Chris."

He paused... He lifted off you and he took a step back.

You turned and looked over your shoulder to barely see his shape in the near complete dark. You were surprised to find that he was just standing there. You turned completely and sat on the edge of the bed. Since you couldn't make out his face, but could see that his fists were clenched, you started to get a little nervous, "Chris? What's wrong?"

Nothing but slightly labored breathing.

You couldn't tell what he was feeling, thinking, going to do... Anything. "Honey, you're scaring me.", you said cautiously.

His voice was soft, "I'm sorry." He sighed heavily, "I just can't bring myself to do it."

Your brows furrowed, but your voice was level, "What? Why?" You stood and turned on the bedside lamp and went to him, seeing now how upset he was. You could see that his eyes were glistening with conflict even though he wouldn't look at you. "Chris?", you touched his hand and then curled your fingers around his. "What's wrong, love?", you cooed, stroking his hand with your thumb.

He clenched his jaw and closed his eyes for a long beat. Your love. You called him your love and he couldn't even give you what you both wanted. On top of the guilt, he was now also contending with feeling inadequate.

Your brows pulled up in the center in sympathy. You needed to know what was upsetting him so much. You gripped his jaw gently to turn his head to you, "Chris, tell me what's going on."

His eyes finally met yours when you spoke this time. He looked so pained. "I feel guilty."

Your expression turned to confusion, "Why?"

He sighed and shook his head and the irony of his situation. He honestly thought he could get through this on his own, without dragging you into it. But he understood now, that wasn't going to be the case. It was time he told you, "I keep feeling like if I had sex with you, I'd be betraying Seb."

Your eyebrows shot up. "Wow... Talk about ironic."

He just nodded, looking less than amused.

"I think there's something I should share with you."

He knit his eyebrows, actually feeling a little nervous about what you could possibly need to share with him at a moment like this.

"I had a dream about you and Seb before you came home."

His forehead wrinkled in heightened curiousity and surprise.

"In my dream, Seb handed me over to you, he held me from behind while you kissed me and then he left, smiling. And once I woke up, I started thinking about the past with all three of us."

He nodded slightly, his gaze intent on listening to you.

"And if you really think about it, Chris... I think you could see that Seb would be okay with us... Just like I saw it."

His expression showed confusion... Then concentration as his gaze fell on the bed just behind you to your right.

He didn't seem to be thinking of anything significant, so you encouraged his thoughts further, "Like, when you came back home after finding out Seb and I were together?..."

He tilted his head a little, "Yeah...?"

You saw that he wasn't connecting the dots yet. "He left us alone to reconnect? When you punched him and apologized to me... Didn't you think it was strange that your were close enough to kiss me then and he didn't do anything? Chris, he _never_ stopped anything between us... Anything."

It started to make sense to him, but slowly, "I just thought he trusted that I wouldn't go too far with you."

"Yeah, me too. But now, I think he was actually beginning to nudge us; encourage us to be together, along with me being with him." He started to look more shocked as everything lined up in his head and you continued, "Just think about it. Think about our whole friendship; the three of us... Before and after Seb and I got together...", then you just watched him and waited, hoping the switch would flip in his mind.

He was staring blankly at the floor next to you in thought for a moment. His eyes met yours again as his chest heaved with a deep breath and he whispered, "Oh my God."

Your brows pulled up and you nodded as if to say 'I know, right?'

"Oh my God." He leaned forward and took you in his arms tightly. "Oh, wow. This is fucking insane." He pulled back and shook his head, "I don't even know what to say."

You nodded, "I know. It's a lot to take in."

"I don't even understand now how I never saw it. I knew him inside and out and I never saw it."

"Take all the time you need to process it, okay?"

"I don't need to process shit. It's clear as day to me now." He leaned over and kissed you playfully several times, grabbing your face, "Thank you, baby. Thank you so much! I've been struggling since the day after I came home." God, he was so fuckin' relieved!

You giggled, "You're welcome."

Your face still in his hands, he kissed you gently now, "My little angel. Thank you for opening my eyes so that I can finally, _really_ give you all of me." He put your hand against his chest, covering it with his own, over his heart. "I love you, sweetheart." He leaned down and kissed your lips softly.

"I love you.", you smiled back.

"Now,", he turned you around again and bent you over the bed with the same force as before while you squeaked and giggled. He licked his lips and hummed while he massaged your sides firmly with his strong hands, pressing himself against your ass once more. You moaned softly and bit your lip at feeling his length hardening quickly. He took the same position as earlier, covering you with his body and holding you against him with an arm. He spoke low in your ear, "Let's try this again." You sighed and shivered. He snapped his hips against your ass roughly, bumping you forward and forcing a surprised, pleasured sound from you, your mouth hanging open.

"You're gonna be mine completely now, baby girl. And _nothing_ is gonna stop me this time."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, I know! I left you guys hanging, again! But, we needed to make sure we cleared Chris of his hang-ups. We gotta take care of our boy, right?
> 
> I had been mulling over her helping Chris through this. Thanks to those that suggested it; it helped me decide.
> 
> Let me know what you think of this chapter!
> 
> Thanks for the comments and kudos! You guys are awesome!
> 
> XOXO
> 
> I'm also just curious, how many of you liked that I wrote Seb growing out his long hair and scruff? How many of you didn't?


	64. Stay With Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> "Now,", he turned you around again and bent you over the bed with the same force as before while you squeaked and giggled. He licked his lips and hummed while he massaged your sides firmly with his strong hands, pressing himself against your ass once more. You moaned softly and bit your lip at feeling his length hardening quickly. He took the same position as earlier, covering you with his body and holding you against him with an arm. He spoke low in your ear, "Let's try this again." You sighed and shivered. He snapped his hips against your ass roughly, bumping you forward and forcing a surprised, pleasured sound from you, your mouth hanging open.
> 
> "You're gonna be mine completely now, baby girl. And nothing is gonna stop me this time."

**Song: Love Me Like You Do by Ellie Goulding**

Just as quickly as he had become dominant, he became tender. He lifted himself off you and took a step back, but kept his hands in contact with you this time. He splayed them on either side of your hips under the hem of your shirt and slowly pushed it up to your ribs, his soft palms sending a wave of goosebumps up your body. Your breath caught and you hoped he was going to do what he had before. 

He granted your wish when his lips softly pressed against you lower back, his hands gently holding your sides, his thumbs stroking your skin. You sighed and dropped your forehead to the bed between your arms. His voice was low and soft, his warm breath teasing your skin, "My sweet little love." You felt the heat and slickness incresing steadily at your center as he punctuated his statement with another kiss. God, he knew just what to say and do to you.

He trailed more kisses across your back and sides, causing you to let out little squeaks and quiet moans. He hummed against your skin, your sweet noises spurring him on. He bent over just enough to lift you to stand again. He finished removing your shirt, tossing it aside. He moved your hair to one side and his lips ghosted across your shoulder, the fingertips of both his hands lightly gliding over your stomach in lazy patterns.

You let out a quiet moan and licked your lips, your head falling back against him and your hand coming to rest at the back of his neck. His touch felt like safety, comfort and fireworks all at the same time; steady, soft and electrifying. You sighed sharply, followed by a whisper of his name, "Ah, Chris."

He hummed against your neck now as he kissed it, "What, baby? What do you need?"

Oh, that was sly; he wanted to hear you say it again. So you did, "I need you, please."

He gripped your hips and pulled you harshly against him, "Oh, you do?"

You closed your eyes and nodded, biting your lip as your head still laid back against him.

He kissed you softly just behind your ear, his voice was deep, "I need you too, sweetheart. I have since the moment I laid eyes on you."

Your breath hitched.

He turned you to face him, your hands went to his shoulders and his eyes were dark with lust in the dim lamp light that was barely stonger than a candle. He lifted you again, kissing you softly. He knelt on the bed and carried you towards the headboard to lay you down. He kissed your forehead before releasing you. He took off his shirt quickly, revealing his strong upper form. The sight only furthered your arousal. You were already so wet that you were starting to wonder if you had anymore left in you.

He planted a hand on the bed and trailed the fingertips of his other hand from your neck, down between your breasts, then tracing one finger up along the top of one of the cups of your bra; the pink lacy one that you had bought just a week ago. "I like this.", he cooed then glanced at you.

You smiled coyly at him, blinking slowly.

He narrowed his eyes at your submissive expression, "Mmm, quit being so sexy." His finger travelled back over its path and now up the hem on the opposite side, "I wanna take my time with you and your making me just wanna fuck you like a madman."

Your stomach burst with butterflies and all you could do was let out a quiet whimper.

He leaned over you again, peppering kisses downward, focusing on your stomach before starting to undo your jeans. You expected him to start to pull them downward, but he rolled you over on your stomach and lifted your hips swiftly so that you where on your knees, your chest still on the matress. He then started to push your jeans down and growled at the revealing of your ass in those matching pink lace panties, "Ah, God damn." He leaned himself against you while kneading one of your ass cheeks where it met your thigh and you sighed, gripping the pillow slightly. You were sure his jeans were getting a little damp against you. "You wear this just for me, foxy?"

You looked over your shoulder at him, biting one side of your lip, "Mm-hm."

He turned his head slightly and gave you a side glance, "I thought I told you to stop being so sexy." He gave you a sharp, stinging smack on the ass, making you yelp, then giggle. He massaged the tender flesh to soothe it as he chuckled quietly, folding himself over you and lifted your chest up off the bed to hold your against him. He was smiling as he stroked a thumb over your ribs, just under your breast where he was holding you up. He spoke near your ear, "Sorry, baby. I hope that wasn't too much."

You chortled, "It's okay."

"Is it really okay or are you just forgiving me this time too?"

You turned your head slightly to touch his and answered him sweetly, "It's really okay, honey. I liked it."

He hummed long and deep, "Perfect. That's my girl." He kissed your temple and rolled you onto your back again and finished removing your jeans, tossing them to the floor. He hummed at the sight of you in your sweet, but sinful bra and panties as he moved to the edge of the bed and stepped down to take off his jeans. His hand grazed the front when he went to unbutton them and he felt wetness. He looked down at them and then to you quirking an eyebrow, "Well, someone's ready. You got my pants wet." He winked and pushed them down, leaving his boxer briefs on. He stepped out of his pants and crawled back onto the bed, towards you.

You shook your head and took a deep breath glancing down at his erection through his underwear for a beat, then bit your lip, "You have no idea. I don't think I could get anymore ready."

He was then over you, smirking confidently, "I bet you could." He settled his hips between your legs, his length resting against you and you hummed. He supported himself on his elbows on either side of you and you wrapped your legs around his hips. He slid a hand into your hair against the back of your head, the other caressing your shoulder with light fingertips, you tipped your head back, asking him to give your neck some attention. He answered your request by dipping his head down and grazing your skin with the tip of his nose, from your throat to your chin. You sighed heavily. You tipped your chin down again and looked into his eyes lovingly. He returned your gaze while he slid a hand to rest along your jaw and stroked your cheek gingerly with his thumb and you felt like he would burn a hole through you with his stare... Like he was looking right into your soul and letting you look into his. He whispered, "I love you, sweetheart." He smiled ever so slightly and you mirrored his expression and his statement while your stomach fluttered like crazy.

"I love you, Chris."

He kissed you softly, deeply. He took his time exploring and teasing your tongue with his own; firmly and slowly. Though you hadn't thought it possible, it was the most loving and passionate kiss he had given you yet. When he pulled back, he leaned to one side on his elbow and started pulling your bra strap off your shoulder. You followed his lead and rolled into him just enough to reach back and unclasp your bra for him, while he took the opportunity to kiss your shoulder and and stroke your arm softly with his hand a couple times. As you laid back down, he smiled softly, "Thank you, baby."

"My pleasure.", you smiled softly.

"Oh, it will be.", he grinned at you as he lifted off of you and hooked a finger between the bra cups, pulling it up away from you. You held your arms up just enough for him to remove it completely. He quirked an eyebrow at you and held it straight out, still resting on his hooked finger, past the edge of the bed and over the floor. You watched as he dropped it, still holding his arm and open hand out for a dramatic flourish, his eyes never leaving yours. You giggled.

He dipped his head down, wrapping an arm around your back as he took one of your nipples gently in his mouth, swirling his tongue around it, painfully slow. You sighed and then moaned, arching your back. He took it gently between his teeth and held it there, the pressure sending a delicious sensation straight to your core. He then flicked it quickly with his tongue.

"Oh, God!", you gasped, gripping the back of his neck.

He chuckled smugly, "See? And I'm just getting started, sweetness." He afforded your other breast a bit more gentle affection, kissing it open mouthed, gingerly. As he did, you moaned and reached down to touch his hardness. You wanted so badly to at least stroke it if he was going to make your wait for it. As soon as he felt your hand against him, he grunted, breaking the contact of his mouth on you. He quickly pulled his hips back from your touch and grabbed your wrist, guiding you away, "Uhn-uhn."

You whined.

He pinned your wrist to the bed beside your head, looking you straight in the eyes. With the other hand, he hooked a finger in the waistband of your panties and glided it back and forth along the length of the lace, grazing your skin softly, "Ladies first."

You whimpered and licked your lips, your eyes fluttering closed and opening again quickly. Good Lord! His chivalrous patience was going to drive you insane.

He sat back on his heels, your feet coming to rest flat on the bed, your knees bent. Both his hands now had fingers curled under the delicate, pink waistband as he started to pull downward. You lifted your hips to assist him, then put your knees together, letting them fall to one side so that he could glide the small garment off your feet. You then pulled your heels back near yourself to try to conceal your vunerable area. Even though the light was extremely dim and up near the headboard, you felt a little self conscious because you hadn't had a first time with lights or candles in... you couldn't remember how long. He had your panties hanging on only a couple curled fingers of one hand. He flung them over his shoulder, nonchalant, and they landed on the dresser top.

You chuckled, "You're so fun." You grinned so wide and actually ended up laughing for a moment.

He couldn't help but grin back and chuckle. Your smile and laughter gave him life. He leaned over you and gave you a couple quick kisses, "You're so fun too, little love." He kissed your forehead and grabbed a couple pillows next to you with one hand as he sat back again and put them beside himself. He shifted your knees to point upward again. He could sense that you were keeping them closed to try to be discreet. He started gently parting your legs, "Now's not the time to be shy, honey. I wanna see all of you."

You blinked slowly, your face soft as you let him guide your legs apart. Once you were completely exposed, he bit his lip, his eyes taking in all of you from his vantage point, his face lustful as he tickled you lightly with his fingertips on the outside of your calves.

He leaned over your once more and before his lips met yours, he whispered lovingly as he gingerly rubbed his nose against yours and stroked your side with the knuckles of his curled fingers, "My beautiful girl." Your heart skipped a beat and your breath hitched twice. His kiss was gentle and lingered for only a moment before he was pulling back to sit on his heels again, grinning at you devilishly.

He grabbed the pillows and gave your rear a gentle tap, "Up, please." You did as he asked and he placed the pillows beneath your hips, then guided you back down with a light hand on your lower belly. He then pushed your knees up in the direction if your shoulders, so your ass was tilted upward slightly.

You bit your lip in anticipation as he settled over your center, on his elbows. His hands splayed gently on either side of your waist, just above your hips. He kissed each of your inner thighs softly.

As you looked at him, you were blinking quickly, not wanting to miss any of the eye contact he was giving you. The pillows put you at the perfect height and position for him to easily do with you what he will.

He licked his lips, grinned at you, his eyes fiery as he dipped his head slowly. He opened his mouth just enough and planted it over your clit. Once he did, you moaned and everything in you tensed. He watched your face to see your reaction to his touch before closing his eyes slowly, his dark lashes fluttering downward as he started moving his tongue against you and his thumbs began stroking your sides.

You shuddered and whimpered. He flattened his tongue against your sensitive bundle and offered short quick strokes, dipping the tip of his tongue down against your dripping slit occasionally, his beard scratching your folds gently as his jaw moved against you. He hummed at the taste of you.

You gripped his forearm, gasped and titled your head back, "Oh my God, Chris." He then slid two fingers, easily, all the way into you, drawing a low moan from you. He turned them downward and hooked them very slightly, pressed down on your walls and entrance firmly, then released the pressure, his tongue still working your clit.

You let out a sharp, vocal gasp and starting squirming. "Oh.", you whimpered and started panting. You looked down at him; he was watching you. His mouth never left you as he winked. Oh dear God. Your head dropped back again as he continued to repeat his fluid actions of pressing and releasing as he licked you. Your panting had turned to tiny whines and whimpers. He moaned against you, loving what he was doing to you. His hand at your side slid back and out from under your grip on his forearm. He slid his fingers under your hand so he could interlace them with yours, palm to palm. Your body was getting rigid and you were growing quiet, everything inside you coiling tightly. 

You had never felt fingers do anything like this to you before; it felt like you were actually being fucked. He was hitting all the same nerves, and combined with the fiery feeling of his tongue on that little button, it was mind blowing. And before you even had much time to enjoy all of it, you cried out in release, gripping his hand in yours tighter, a gesture he returned. Your hips made small rolling motions against him as he growled. He could feel your walls shuddering around his fingers as his tongue continued to coax you through your orgasm.

He lightly scratched the back your thighs and licked at your entrance gingerly with a flat tongue, drinking you up as you came down, panting and whimpering.

He sat back and wiped his face and beard with his shirt that had still been on the bed and tossed it to the floor. You had lowered your feet again and looked at him in a daze. He just stayed where he was, stroking your calves again, admiring you in your spent state. He finally leaned over you and just before he kissed you, his voice was deep, "You're the sweetest thing I've ever tasted."

You moaned quietly against his kiss, your arms around his neck. He rolled to the side, taking you with him and pulling the pillows out from under you, throwing them aside. You spoke against his mouth, "Get those underwear off now, Evans."

"Mmm, you're cute when you're bossy.", he replied, rolling you to your back again and managing to pull his boxer briefs down off his legs while still in your embrace, tossing them to meet all the other clothes that had found their way to the floor. You reached down and finally gripped his straining shaft, stroking it. His forehead met yours as his eyes squeezed shut tightly. He hissed, and whispered, "Jesus..."

You wrapped your legs around his waist again and lined him up at your entrance, which was already wet again and just waiting for him. He removed your hand gently to take over and you wrapped both your arms under his and over his upper back. Your breath quickened as he looked down at you lovingly while guiding the head of his cock up and down your opening to spread your slickness. As he supported himself on one elbow, he cupped your face with that hand and kissed you softly, stroking your cheek with his thumb. He pulled back to see your face again, his eyes on fire, "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, (Y/N)." You barely got out a tiny sigh at his words before he slid into you steadily, right to the hilt as he let out a restrained groan.

You let out a vocal gasp when he filled you, tilting your head back, "Ahh."

He kissed your chin, enveloping you snugly in his arms. He hummed as he started to move in and out of you, taking his time.

You dropped your chin and looked into his eyes, all love and lust... All for you. Your walls tightened ever so slowly and he moaned deeply, dropping his head to your shoulder, then lifting it just enough to rest it against your temple so he could speak softly in your ear, "God dammit, you feel so fucking good, baby girl."

You whimpered, "I've needed you for so long, Chris."

He groaned at your words as he still stroked in and out of you. He lifted his head to watch your face again. You closed your eyes and moaned quietly beneath him. His voice was gruff, "Open your eyes, sweetheart. Stay with me." He kissed you gently, slowly.

You then did as he said, your mouth hanging open. He locked eyes with you, as he groaned quietly at the intoxicating feeling of your warmth surrounding him completely. His face became strained, he clenched his teeth and hissed, his pace increasing steadily. He reached down with a hand and gripped your side firmly. He couldn't hold back anymore.

You began mewling loudly with each blow of his hips against you, gripping his shoulders tightly. It was becoming increasingly difficult to keep eye contact with him. The pleasure building quickly, the intense emotion coursing between the two of you; it became overwhelming and your eyes just wanted to shut. They were fluttering closed and open, each time staying concealed for just a millisecond longer.

He could see it and pleaded with you through his labored breath, "Don't hide, baby. Stay with me." He kissed your lips again, passionately, then your neck. While he did, he could feel you swelling around him quickly as he pounded you relentlessly now. His hand traveled to one side of your ass, holding it tightly, pushing you against him further with each slam he gave you.

You panted out in a small, shrill voice, "Oh, God, Chris, I'm gonna come."

He lifted his head to watch your face as you looked him in the eyes again; he wanted to see you fall apart beneath him, "Yes, baby, come for me. I need it. I need you."

His encouraging words gave you that final push. You willed your eyes to stay open for him as you hurtled over the edge, crying out as he bit his lip hard watching you and he wasn't far behind. He let out a long, strained groan as he kept his pace steady, staring straight into the heart of you while he spilled into you. He was finally able to give you every part of himself, completely.

You whimpered as he rode you both through it and gradually slowed his pace to a stop, then resting in a panting heap over you, his face in the crook of your neck. "I--", he breathed out. He lifted his head again to look at you and kissed your lips softly, "You look so beautiful when you come undone, sweetheart." His closed lips turned up into a soft smile. "I love you so much."

You swallowed hard and had a difficult time finding any words, let alone the right ones. Your heart was as full as it ever had been and you almost felt like you could cry, "You're so amazing. I love you. I-". Your eyes welled up with tears quickly as you shook your head. His face became sympathetic, but he just listened as he stroked your cheek. You finally spoke again, "You're my everything now. And-", you took a jagged breath. "You saved me from myself. You kept me from falling too far when I thought I had lost everything." You sighed heavily and could see him tearing up as well as you continued, "You're my hero, Chris. I love you."

His face twisted. He didn't have any words, so he kissed your lips softly instead and then the words came to him, "I'll always take care of you... My baby."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG, this chapter is so long! I hope it wasn't too much, but I really wanted to show the depth, playfulness and love I imagine in Chris that we just don't get to see often. He's been longing and feeling fucked up for so long that he just hasn't been able to really be himself. I wanted to show that here.
> 
> Plus, I didn't want to split a smut scene into chapters.
> 
> LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! I'm anxious to hear what you guys have to say about this one, since I made you wait so long for it!
> 
> Thanks for all the comments and kudos! Peace!
> 
> XOXO


	65. Right As Rain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> You swallowed hard and had a difficult time finding any words, let alone the right ones. Your heart was as full as it ever had been and you almost felt like you could cry, "You're so amazing. I love you. I-". Your eyes welled up with tears quickly as you shook your head. His face became sympathetic, but he just listened as he stroked your cheek. You finally spoke again, "You're my everything now. And-", you took a jagged breath. "You saved me from myself. You kept me from falling too far when I thought I had lost everything." You sighed heavily and could see him tearing up as well as you continued, "You're my hero, Chris. I love you."
> 
> His face twisted. He didn't have any words, so he kissed your lips softly instead and then the words came to him, "I'll always take care of you... My baby."

Chris rolled over to fetch a package of wipes from his nightstand drawer.

You frowned comically, a little confused. The whole time you'd lived in the same house, he'd never brought a girl home. "You have wipes?"

He nodded and chuckled as he pulled one out, unaffected by your surprise, "Yeah, they're pretty nice to have. Especially when you fly solo... and you have roommates." He grinned and gave you a quick kiss as you chortled.

He moved to between your legs, sat back on his heels and lifted your legs to rest over his open thighs, spreading you. He cleaned you gently as you hummed at his soft, attentive touch. He leaned over and tossed the wipe in the trash can next to the nightstand. He got a new one for himself, swiping at his beard first, to get what little he may have missed with his shirt before, "I think you tried to drown me, sweetheart."

You giggled, "Not my doing; that's on you for getting me so excited and making me feel so good."

He laughed, "I'm happy to take full responsibility for that." He winked at you with a soft smile. You then watched intently as he stroked himself, still somewhat erect, with the wipe in hand. You couldn't help but lick your lips. You'd need to get that glorious thing in your mouth... soon. He tossed that wipe in the trash and came to lay by your side, turning you into him, against his chest. He smirked, "And this way we never have to leave the bed." He kissed your forehead.

"You spoil me.", you beamed.

"I'm just getting started, sexy." He lifted your leg and draped it over his waist and smacked your bare ass cheek, making you cry out at the sting. You both laughed as he started to kiss you and massage the burning flesh. He spoke against your lips, smiling, "Mmm, I love this cute little ass."

"You don't have to use smacking it as an excuse every time you wanna grope it, you know."

He furrowed his brows, "Am I doing it too much?"

"Well, no, but it is starting to get a little tender.", you chortled.

He hummed out a sympathetic whine while softly rubbing the sore skin on your rear with his fingers, "I'm sorry, baby. I won't be so rough." He kissed your lips tenderly. "But there have been a lot of times in the past, before us, that I really wanted to smack it. I have a great deal of lost time to make up for... With everything."

You felt him growing hard again against your thigh that was still on the bed and you pulled your head back, surprised.

He simply quirked an eyebrow at you and pulled up one corner of his closed mouth in a mischivious half smile.

Your eyebrows raised, "Already?"

He leaned forward and kissed your neck, "Mm-hm. _Lots_ of lost time. Besides, it's your turn."

"Wh-"

Before you could even ask, he rolled quickly to his back, taking you with him and inciting a squeak from you. You were now on top of him. He gripped you hips and gently rocked you against him a few times.

You let out a vocal sigh, your jaw slack as you sat up to straddle him and looked down at him.

He bit his lip at the sight of your expression and you over him. "Fuck, you're so pretty, honey."

You licked your lips slowly to spur him on.

He hummed, "Mmm, I've had an unhealthy craving for you to ride me since that morning you attacked me on the bed after I got home. And if that little bit of squirming you did is any indication," His hand was on your hip still while the other went to your slightly open mouth. Before he continued his thought, he ran his thumb across your bottom lip once, then trailed a fingertip from your lip, over your chin, down your neck, between your breasts, "You're gonna drive me outta my mind." His finger traveled over your stomach... ending with his thumb lightly stroking your clit between your bodies.

Your brows pulled up in the center in pleasure as you let out a tiny whimper.

He hummed and sucked in a slow breath through his clenched teeth. God, he loved watching you like this. He grabbed your wrists and pulled you over him. Your hands came to rest on either side of his head. He grabbed your ass with both hands and started grinding you against his hardness, your wetness spreading, affording deliciously slick motions as he spoke low, "Mmmm. Send me to the looney bin, baby."

You smiled coyly, "Yes, sir."

The next morning, you woke having to really pee. You kissed Chris's sleeping cheek and left the bed. He didn't even stir. Poor guy was exhausted. You and he had made love several more times the previous night and he literally only let you leave the bed to pee. He brought you plenty of bottles of water over the course of the night, which hadn't all made it through you before going to sleep. He had even made you both sandwiches at one point and brought them back to the bed. He loved doting on you; taking care of you. Late into the night, the two of you had taken a shower, before going to sleep, where you rewarded him for all his efforts that evening by showing him your own mind blowing skills of oral pleasure while he praised you endlessly.

There was something unbelievably amazing about your relationship now; earth shatteringly intense and deep. You had felt it just as intensely before, with Sebastian, but it was different... It had its own personality. You had never imagined that love could be like this with Chris. You felt pretty lucky that you had a chance to find out in this lifetime... And that he hadn't given up on you.

As you started making coffee, you began to wonder... Imagine, even what it would've been like to have two loves simultaneously; Chris and Sebastian. How would that even work? The sex? Would there have been possessiveness? Jealousy? Fights? How did someone even get to a place where they were okay sharing the one they love... So intimately? You had no idea if that was something you were even capable of fathoming doing yourself; sharing.

On a whim, you wanted to do something for Chris considering how attentive and loving he had been the night before. Not to mention, how well and how often he _showed_ you how much he loved you that night.

You scribbled on a yellow sticky note, _'Morning sexyface! Ran to the store for breakfast stuff. I love you! Your baby girl.'_

You stuck it on the screen of his phone sitting on his nightstand. You kissed his forehead as he slept and stepped lightly back out of the room, closing the door. You went to your room to put on some clothes and shoes before grabbing a jacket and heading out.

It was drizzling and gloomy out that Sunday, but that didn't dampen your mood at all. In fact, you thought it would make for a good day of cuddling in bed watching movies or lounging on the couch and reading a whole book from start to finish, taking a hot bath. Perhaps go out to lunch and a movie. Or maybe you'd stay inside and bake all day. You were heading to the store for muffin ingredients after all.

Maybe you'd pick up a few extra supplies for sunflower bread and expiriment making a unique kind of cupcake... Chris really liked beer. Can you put beer in cupcakes?... And have them taste good? Maybe you'd have to do a classic as a backup too, just in case.

You'd probably have to unload some of the food on neighbors, your friends and co-workers. Having a plethora of baked goods, would also give you a good reason to visit Shirley and share. Goodness knows the two of you didn't need all that stuff hanging around your house for a week.

You had visited Shirley a few times while Chris was away. She hounded you constantly about if you had chosen to be with Chris yet. You took it in stride. He had joined you for a few more visits after he got back. She thought the promise ring was and engagement ring. You explained what it actually meant. She had given you both a side glance and demanded again to be invited to the wedding.

While you were at the store browsing the selection of beers, your phone buzzed in your pocket with a text from Chris, _'Hey, who gave you permission to get out of bed, beautiful?'_

His words made you smile. He managed to give you butterflies even over text message. Crap, you hadn't even started making anything for him to eat for breakfast and he was already up. Maybe the muffins would just have to be for later. You typed back, _'I was gonna make muffins for breakfast. You weren't supposed to wake up yet! I can pick something up. What do you want?'_

_'How much longer you gonna be?'_

_'Maybe 20-ish mins.'_

_'I'll just make something and have it ready when you get home. Hurry back. I miss you, baby.'_

He really wasn't asking, so you just agreed. _'Okay. Miss you too, hero.'_

You loved reminding him how much he had been there for you through your losses, just like he had wanted to be. You wanted him to know that he accomplished what he had set out to do for you during those times. He kept you sane, protected you, took care of you... Loved you. If it hadn't been for him, you very well could still be in a terribly dark place. You thought to yourself that 'hero' would be a name that you would continue to use; you wanted to keep reminding him. You wanted for him to never forget how much he did for you.

His reply was simply five red hearts. It actually occurred to you then that he did the same thing as you in texts; if you used multiples of the same symbol, they were always in odd numbers. It made you chuckle.

When you returned to the house and pulled into the driveway, Chris was sitting on the top porch step waiting for you, protected from the drizzling rain by the small bit of over-hanging roof. He had a cup of coffee in his hand, the other stuffed in his jacket pocket. His hair was adorably messy, his feet had been shoved into undone boots, the bottom of the legs of his jeans crumpling sloppily around the top of the boots as if they were fighting for space. His brows were furrowed. He was still sleepy. He stood and put his cup on the corner of the porch half wall before heading to you.

He smiled softly as he approached you, meeting you at your trunk as you opened it, "Morning, baby. Thanks for making coffee. I need it after last night." He kissed you quickly.

You giggled. "Morning and you're welcome.", you beamed back.

He held your chin up with a finger, "Really wished I could've woken up to this beautiful face after our first night together." He kissed you again.

You frowned. Shit. That hadn't even occurred to you, "Oh jeez. I'm so sorry, honey. I just wanted to do something nice for you." You hugged him.

He squeezed you back, "It's okay. But, I think you'll have to spend another long night... Or day, in bed with me to make up for it."

You giggled as he, squeezed your ass, kissed your head and released you. His eyes went to the multitude of bags in the trunk. He started peeking into a couple, "Jesus, sweetheart. How many muffins you making?"

You laughed as you both started to pick up several bags to carry, "I'm gonna make bread and cupcakes too."

You both started for the house, him trailing behind you, "Are we opening a bakery?"

You chortled, "Maybe."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so how much fluff can you guys actually handle? Cuz I can pump out a ton.
> 
> Sorry, this update took a while. I've been sick with my obligatory "change of seasons cold and flu symptoms" and trying to prep my yard for winter. I also have been having a hard time writing as of late because I miss our Seb. Boo.
> 
> I also skinned my Achilles tendon severely on the corner of a drink cooler door at the gas station and can't run for a while. It's disgusting. Boo again.
> 
> Please leave a comment if you are comfortable with it. Comments help me develop and also give me an extra push to keep writing.
> 
> Thanks so much for kudos and comments!
> 
> Much love! xoxo


	66. Sugar, Sugar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> He held your chin up with a finger, "Really wished I could've woken up to this beautiful face after our first night together." He kissed you again.
> 
> You frowned. Shit. That hadn't even occurred to you, "Oh jeez. I'm so sorry, honey. I just wanted to do something nice for you." You hugged him.
> 
> He squeezed you back, "It's okay. But, I think you'll have to spend another long night... Or day, in bed with me to make up for it."
> 
> You giggled as he, squeezed your ass, kissed your head and released you. His eyes went to the multitude of bags in the trunk. He started peeking into a couple, "Jesus, sweetheart. How many muffins you making?"
> 
> You laughed as you both started to pick up several bags to carry, "I'm gonna make bread and cupcakes too."
> 
> You both started for the house, him trailing behind you, "Are we opening a bakery?"
> 
> You chortled, "Maybe."

Once you got to the kitchen, you both set down the bags on the kitchen table. Chris looked at the oven timer and spoke as he headed for the door again, "I'll get the rest. Can you get the food out of the oven when the timer goes off please, baby?"

"Thank you and Yes.", you called after him.

You pulled a package of flour and a package of sugar out of one of the grocery bags and put them on the island counter. The timer beeped and you grabbed a hot pad, shut off the timer and the oven, then opened it and took out a muffin pan with a familiar food in the cups. Chris had made these once before; savory breakfast muffins with eggs, tater tots, cheese and veggies. He entered the kitchen with the last of the bags and his coffee cup as you hummed, "Mmmm, I love these."

"I remember.", he grinned as he put down the bags and brought his cup to the sink. You had already put the pan down, so he spun you around, wrapped you in his arms and kissed you hard. He then attacked your neck with rapid kisses while humming.

You giggled and then shreiked when he hiked you up against him and carried you around the island, setting you down on a stool and kissing your forehead with a hand at the back of your head.

"Ketchup?", He asked as he rounded the island again and fetched plates from the cupboard.

"Yes, please.", you beamed.

He poured you a cup of coffee with creamer first, setting it in front of you. He then got to work on dishing up plates. "So, besides baking enough for the whole neighborhood,", he chuckled. "Whadda ya wanna do today?"

"That's about as far as I got, really." You took a sip of your coffee. "Oh, and maybe visit Shirley today? Take her some of the things I bake?"

"Are you sure you wanna do that?", he set a plate with four of the muffins in front of you and then squirted a mound of ketchup next to them on the plate. "She'll probably be able to tell we had sex. She's like that all seeing, all knowing mom. And she'll talk about it." His face became panicked, his open hand coming to rest on his forehead, "Shit. The blinds in the bedroom were closed last night, right?! I didn't even check!"

You laughed, "Yes, honey, they were closed."

"Are you sure?!"

"Sweetie,", you chuckled, "I'm positive. I remember looking at the window and seeing them closed when you first bent me over the bed in the dark and again after the lamp was on. And they were closed when I got up this morning too."

He sighed heavily and nodded.

"Chris...", you gestured at your plate, wide eyed. "Four? I'm not six foot and two hundred pounds." He always gave you too much food.

He chortled and leaned over the island on his elbows, "Maybe not, but you are gonna need to keep your strength up for a couple more days at least." He winked at you, "Just eat what you can, sweetheart."

You chortled, "As far as Shirley goes, I'm actually really getting used to her. It's fine. I think she just gets excited for us, honey. Especially you.", you tore a piece of the muffin off, dipped it and popped it in your mouth, "She loves you."

He set his plate on the island and sat in the stool next to you, "She loves you too, you know." He leaned toward you and gave you a quick peck.

You smiled, still chewing.

"Do you want help today?", he asked. "I don't know much about baking, but I follow instruction well enough." He took a bite of food and pulled up his eyebrows, waiting for your answer.

You held up one of the egg muffins with a confused look.

He chortled, "That's different. You just throw stuff together and put it in there until it's browned and no longer wiggly." You both chuckled and he continued, "I at least know that with baking there's ratios that need to be followed and chemical reactions to get different results."

You tilted your head and nodded, "There is. You know more than most." You smiled softly at him, "If you want to help, you can. Up to you, babe."

"I think I might. I could learn a thing or two. You're the best baker I know."

After eating you both got started. He had put the beer in the fridge when he brought it in earlier. You pulled out the six pack of Stout and his eyes lit up, "We get to drink while we bake?!" He wrapped his arms around you from behind, kissing your head, "I love baking!"

You laughed, "It's not that uncommon for people to drink while baking... Especially during the holidays. Remember all the shennanigans I told you happened at Pepper's cookie party this last Christmas?"

He laughed softly, "Yeah. That was an awesome story." He released you and stepped to your side, planting a hand on the island counter.

You continued while lining up ingredients, "So the beer is actually for cupcakes."

His eyebrows shot up, "Wow, really? That's... Interesting." Then he frowned, "So I don't get one?"

You plucked one up out of the cardboard carrier and handed it to him, "Yes, honey, you can have one. I'll probably need no more than half of them."

He grinned, taking it and then kissing your temple, "Thanks, sweetness." He opened it and took a swig. "You gonna have one?"

You smiled as you turned you get some bowls, "No, I'm doing the cupcakes for you anyway. I'll try a cupcake, but you can have all the leftover beer. This all came about because you're so great to me." You glanced at him, "Particularly last night."

He just smiled softly as you started measuring out flour into one of the bowls. He took another sip, stepped closer and slid hand over your hip. He slowly pulled your side against his front, rested his forehead against the top of your head, "I only act the way I do because I love you so much, baby girl." His words gave you butterflies. "When I said you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, I meant it."

A few hours, a lunch break and a lot more flour, sugar and kisses later, you both had made everything you'd set out to. There were two dozen chocolate beer cupcakes topped with chocolate ganache, crushed pretzels and caramel drizzle, 3 loaves of sunflower bread, two dozen lemon cupcakes with raspberry filling and vanilla frosting... And the three dozen of the blueberry muffins that started it all. You had both tasted everything... And it all turned out perfect.

You both decided to watch TV in the living room and get off your aching feet; yours of which Chris had in his lap and was rubbing for you. When he was done, you sat up and straddled him and gave him a sweet kiss, "Thank you, hero." You smiled at him.

He rubbed his hands lightly up and down your back, "My pleasure, sweetheart. Thanks for giving me a crash course in baking. I had no idea it came with sore feet though. And my back's a bit tight too."

"Yeah. You're too tall for those counters, honey. I can rub your feet.", you started to climb off him.

He grabbed you, putting you back where you were, "No, no. That's okay. I don't like my feet rubbed."

"How 'bout your back then?", you raised your eyebrows.

He squinted at you and then held his arm out near your side.

You understood exactly what joke he was setting up. He let you twist his arm behind him slightly and feigned pain, "Oh! Ow!"

You shook your head and chuckled as he grinned exactly how someone who just told a terrible joke would. You stood up off him and the couch, turning off the TV, "This'll be easier on the bed than the couch."

He stood and followed you, grabbing your ass about halfway there and making you giggle. After a few minutes of you straddled over him, kneading his bare back with your knuckles and the heels of your hands, he was out and quietly snoring. You knew he got up too early that morning.

You climbed off him cautiously, pulled the throw blanket at the foot of his bed over him and went to your room to grab your own throw blanket. You came back and laid next to him, covered yourself and put your arm over his back, kissed his shoulder through the blanket and went to sleep yourself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some fluff. Sorry this wasn't longer and more interesting, but I couldn't leave you all hanging for another night with no update. Blergh!
> 
> Let me know what you think. :)
> 
> Thanks for all the comments, they keep me going!
> 
> XOXO


	67. Focus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> He stood and followed you, grabbing your ass about halfway there and making you giggle. After a few minutes of you straddled over him, kneading his bare back with your knuckles and the heels of your hands, he was out and quietly snoring. You knew he got up too early that morning.
> 
> You climbed off him cautiously, pulled the throw blanket at the foot of his bed over him and went to your room to grab your own throw blanket. You came back and laid next to him, covered yourself and put your arm over his back, kissed his shoulder through the blanket and went to sleep yourself.

You both woke about two hours later and wrapped up some of each baked good for Shirley and headed over to her house hand in hand, Chris leading the way. It was still slowly drizzling outside, just cool enough to be refreshing, but not terribly cold. When you reached the porch, he let go of your hand and knocked on the door, a foil covered plate in his other hand. He put his free hand around your waist, smiled down at you and kissed your head.

You waited for what seemed to be too long and it made you a little nervous. You knew she was home. "You think something's wrong?", you asked, a little worried.

He forrowed his brows, pursed his lips and shook his head, "Nah, there are times she takes a while." He knocked again and rang the bell, "Or she doesn't hear the first time, because I forgot to ring the doorbell." He chuckled at himself.

You scoffed out a laugh, then heard her tiny voice trying to shout from behind the door, "I'm comin', I'm comin'!" The door opened and she beamed, "Oh! Hi kids! Come in!"

You both stepped in smiling, Chris closed the door and while you greeted her with a one armed hug. Chris hugged her also, then raised the plate in his hand for a beat, "We brought you goodies." He took the other plate that was in your hand and headed for the kitchen. "(Y/N) and I made them, though she was the brains of the whole operation.", he called over his shoulder as you and Shirley followed.

"Oh, nice! I love me some home baked junk food!", she beamed as you and her entered the kitchen.

Chris had set the dishes on the six person, oval table and turned as Shirley reached the end of it. Chris pulled out her chair and tucked it in slowly as she sat, "You wanna try something now?" You went to sit and Chris darted to you quickly the next seat over which you had chosen, "Oop!" He finished pulling out your chair and tucked it as you sat, "Two ladies to take care of is too many for me."

You all chuckled and you thanked him. He paused, his face blank for only a second. He missed his best friend in that moment. Seb could've lent a hand being chivalrous with you and Shirley... And he would have on his own accord. It tugged at his heart a little. Before either you or Shirley caught his hesitation, he gave you a quick kiss and went back to Shirley's side and leaned over a bit, a hand resting on the table, "There's chocolate beer cupcakes with pretzels and caramel." He closed his eyes and titled his head, "They're _so_ good."

"Beer? In cupcakes?", she turned to look up at him, her frail little hand on his now. "That sounds really good! I'd like one of those, but it's almost supper time. I'd hate to spoil my dinner."

"Psh.", he waved a hand dismissively. "Tonight, you'll have dessert first. I won't tell." He winked at her, she laughed softly as he moved to get plates from her cupboard.

You started to take the foil off the plates you brought, "And there's lemon raspberry cupcakes, blueberry muffins and some sunflower bread."

Her bright eyes twinkled as she smiled, "This all looks wonderful, (Y/N). I can't wait to taste it all. Thank you. Oh- I should get something to drink going.", she shifted in her seat to stand.

You stood and spoke as Chris came back with small plates and forks, "I got it, Shirl. Coffee okay?"

"Perfect, thank you, sugar."

Once you got the coffee going you returned to your seat. You all would wait until the coffee was brewed to eat something. Chris had chosen to sit in the seat on the other side of you and laced his fingers with yours on the table top as Shirley started to speak. He kissed it your hand, smiled slightly and rested both your hands on the table again. He covered yours with both of his now, still giving his attention to Shirley talking, "So, how's my favorite little couple?", she grinned.

Chris started, grinning himself as his voice made you turn to look at him. "We're good, Shirley." He nodded at looked at you lovingly, "Real good. Thanks."

"You had sex, didn't you?", she asked deadpan, squinting her eyes.

You started cackling and Chris threw up his free hand and laughed, "I told you!" He looked at you shaking his head. At least the two of your didn't get embarrassed by Shirley's lack of tact any longer. You both understood that at her age, there was really no use beating around the bush; not knowing how much time you had left. Might as well just get to the point, making sure there's nothing lost in translation.

"What makes you think that, Shirley?", you challenged.

She smiled, "Well, he's got a shit eatin' grin and you look like you're under some kind of spell." You and Chris chuckled and she continued, her expression turning softer, "You look so relaxed and in love with each other now; a lot more than before. It's like there's nothing hidden, undiscovered, between you anymore." Her sweet words made you smile and almost made you tear up as she continued. She hit the nail on the head. Chris squeezed your hand and you did the same to him as you still watched Shirley talking, "It's all out in the open for you kids now; you know each other as much as two people possibly could and there's no hiding that from the world anymore either. I think it's wonderful."

You took a deep breath, "Wow, Shirley." That was all you could manage. What a beautiful way to think of it.

She nodded and then her face lit up, "Speaking of sex-"

Oh God, what is she gonna say?

"You two are gonna make such pretty babies! I can't wait."

You glanced at Chris, a little nervous, smiling just a touch. He was looking at you, his mouth turned up in a closed lipped smile. Okay, he didn't looked freaked out at least. That's good. You and he had never even talked about anything like that... Ever. You really had no idea how he felt about marriage... Babies. You knew you wanted at least one child, in time. But, for now, he didn't seem too phased by her comment, so your smile softened to match his.

The coffee maker beeped and you stood, "I'll get coffee." You brought three coffees to the table as Chris served up the cupcakes. Shirley raved about the beer cupcake.

It had gotten dark outside and Shirley took her last sip of coffee, then she asked, "You wanna stay for dinner? You kids fly, I'll buy."

You and Chris looked at each other, giving approving expressions, then you answered, "Sure, what would you like, Shirley?"

She squinted, "I would love some pizza from that place downtown... They're potato bacon is so good."

Your eyes lit up, "Ooooh, yes, I love that one too!"

"Alright.", Chris said, "Anything else we can get you while we're out?"

"No, I'm good.", she smiled.

"Okay.", Chris grunted softly as he stood and pulled you up. "We'll be back shortly."

You both got in Chris's car, him letting you in first. He drove down to the end of the street, his hand holding yours on your thigh. He waited at the corner to turn. You stared at him, smiling softly. He turned to see you looking at him. "What?", he smiled.

"I love you, babe."

"I love you, sweetheart.", he squeezed your hand and then turned the car, heading downtown.

You let go of his hand and started lightly rubbing the bulge in his jeans, his hand stayed on your thigh. He sucked in a breath and grunted, the bulge twitching, starting to grow quickly, "Honey, please don't get me worked up just to leave me hanging when we get there."

"I don't plan on it.", you leaned over and kissed his neck once.

"What exactly do you plan on then?"

"You said you'd never had anyone go down on you while driving before...", you moved his arm so you could bend under it and over his lap, his hand going hesitantly to your back. He was trying to figure out if this was a good idea, but his brain couldn't do much more than focus on driving with the anticipation of what you were proposing. You made a firm biting motion on his hard length with your teeth through his jeans.

He let out a restrained grunt, "Jesus fuck."

"Think you can handle it?", you asked mischievously. "Think you could come for me before we get there?" You bit again in the same manner.

His hand went from your back to gripping the back of your neck slightly while a long, low groan escaped his lips, "I hope so... And God yes. You've already got me halfway there with just the thought of it."

You hummed, "Good, 'cause I'm thirsty." You started undoing the button and zipper of his jeans.

"Ah God." Your words turned him on even more. His hand went to your side now, stroking his palm up and down you there and occasionally squeezing the top of your hip. His eyes wanted to close as you touched him while pulling down the waistband of his underwear. He managed to keep them open. But when your soft, warm, wet mouth took him in quickly and wasted no time moving up and down on him, they closed against his will. "Fuck, baby!" He opened them again quickly, realizing he really had to concentrate.

He wasn't too nervous about being caught, considering you were on a two lane road, the other lane being opposing traffic. But, when you got into downtown it was 4 or 6 lanes across every street. He hoped no one would stop next to his car at a red light... Especially a cop. _'Can I get a ticket for getting head while driving?... Really, Chris? Your girl is on your dick doing amazing things with her mouth. Why are you thinking about tickets? She wants you to come before you get there... Focus on her... And the road.'_

**(Author's Note: "Road Head", or oral sex while driving, is a highly distracting (duh) , therefore, potentially fatal act which I DO NOT condone in real life! Pull it over if you both want a mouth on one of your happy places! Be safe kids! XOXO)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that's an odd place to end a chapter, but I couldn't let you guys go two days without an update.
> 
> Let me know what you think, comments keep me going.
> 
> Love you guys! xoxo


	68. Searching

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> He wasn't too nervous about being caught, considering you were on a two lane road, the other lane being opposing traffic. But, when you got into downtown it was 4 or 6 lanes across every street. He hoped no one would stop next to his car at a red light... Especially a cop. _'Can I get a ticket for getting head while driving?... Really, Chris? Your girl is on your dick doing amazing things with her mouth. Why are you thinking about tickets? She wants you to come before you get there... Focus on her... And the road.'_

You both arrived at the pizza place, Chris looking very happy. He did finish before you got there, but he had the sense to pull into an empty parking lot before he had.

You both stood near the door to wait after placing your order. He wrapped his arms around you from behind in the dim lighting. You put your hands over his arms as he spoke against your ear, just above a whisper, "You're unbelievably fun, baby girl. Thanks for the treat on the way here."

You spoke through a giggle and shrugged your shoulder since his facial hair was tickling your ear, "You're welcome."

"Ooh, does that tickle?", he kissed playfully on your ear again several times, making soft noises, "Nomnomnomnom."

You giggled louder, squeezed your eyes shut and squeaked, turning your head. He was holding you firmly against him, so you couldn't really get far enough to get away. You chuckled softly as he lifted his head, smiling and saw a married couple with a toddler at one of the tables about ten feet away. They were staring, the woman rolled her eyes and the guy looked a combination of surprise and jealousy. Chris gave them a huge grin and then dipped his head down to whisper to you, "Please tell me we'll never get boring with each other."

You chortled, tilted to one side and turned your head to look up at him, "What?"

He kept whispering, "Don't look, but there was a couple over there looking at us. She looked annoyed and the poor guy looked like he wished he was me. I don't ever wanna be like that with you."

You replied looking forward, "Believe me, I don't want that either, honey."

He kissed your cheek and then the cashier called out that your pizza was ready.

You both got back to Shirley's with the pizza and stepped in when she answered the door. She pointed at you both, "You did it again, didn't you?" She grabbed the pizza box out of Chris's hands before he realized what she was doing. Yours and Chris's eyes got wide and you chuckled and she went on, heading for the kitchen, "Go wash up. You're not touching my pizza with your sex hands."

You both looked at each other shocked, but also holding back laughs as you started for the restroom.

"Damn rabbits.", she muttered just loud enough for you both to hear.

The two of you were stifling laughter now as Chris leaned close to your ear and whispered, "How the hell does she do that?"

You whispered back, "All knowing mom. You said it yourself."

He pulled down the corners of his mouth, tilted his head and nodded once, "Sure."

While you all ate, Shirley told you both lots of stories about her days past. She was such a good... And funny story teller. After helping her clean up, you both said goodnight and headed back home in the dark.

Once in the house, you both took off your jackets and kicked your shoes off under the coat rack then headed to his bedroom to change into pajamas.

As he stripped down to his underwear, you rifled through his dresser for a shirt of his to wear. You picked a red long sleeved tee when he asked, "Can you toss me a t-shirt, little love?" You tossed him a gray one and he caught it, thanking you. He started to pull it over his head.

"You're welcome, babe.", you replied as you headed for your room.

Chris called after you, moving to his dresser for pajama pants, "You don't need to change in there. I've seen you naked, ya know."

"I know, I'm getting my long socks. It's a little chilly.", you took off your shirt and bra, putting on his shirt. You were bent over facing away from the door removing your pants from your feet when he came to the doorway.

He lifted a bent arm and leaned it against the door frame while he titled his head drastically and smirked, admiring your ass in your white cotton panties peaking out a bit from under his shirt, "You wanna watch some TV, baby?"

You turned and tossed the pants in your hamper, huffing out a breath, "Yeah. Sure."

"Living room? It'll be warmer than the basement."

"Kay.", you sat on your bed to pull on the thigh high socks he'd given you for Christmas while he watched you, smiling softly. You gathered one, scrunching it up so that you could stick your toes in and pull it up your leg, letting the fabric slide out of your fingers bit by bit to cover your leg. You lifted your foot a bit high in the air while putting it on, surprising Chris, who quirked an eyebrow for a beat. You felt him staring and once the sock was on, covering your leg to mid-thigh, you turned to look at him. His face was calm and loving. You smiled a little and chuckled, "What?"

He took a deep breath, "You're so beautiful. And whoever bought you those socks knew what they were doing; you look very sexy in them."

You smiled softly and blinked, "Thank you."

You started to put the other on in the same manner as the last with him still watching. When you were done. He walked to you, crouched in front of you, placing his hands gently on your knees. He looked into your eyes and started to slowly push your legs apart, slightly, while he dropped his knees, one at a time to the floor, so he could sit back on his heels.

You watched him do so with your eyes soft, eyelids fluttering with each blink, your expression loving. Though your body was expressing excitement; your stomach fluttering, your inner walls swelling at his actions.

He looked to your thighs and licked his lips, moving his hands slowly upwards as he spoke low, "So tell me something you've always wanted,", his eyes made contact with yours again, "but no one's ever done." His hands stopped where his fingertips and thumbs were just over the hem of your thigh socks. He stroked your soft skin with his thumbs as he looked up at you expectantly.

You licked your lips slowly and bit the bottom one. "I love everything you do to me. You don't leave me wanting for anything, Chris... Except maybe more of you."

He smiled softly and tilted his head. While still on his knees, he straightened, his hands slid underneath your thighs as his front was pressed against the edge of the bed. "Come on...", he said low and then jerked on your legs pulling you against him hard as you squeaked and giggled. He slid a hand along your jaw and kissed the other side of your neck softly, once, "There's gotta be something."

You hummed, "If there was something, I wouldn't be able to think of it now with what you're doing." You chuckled.

He pulled back, still smiling, "Will you at least promise to tell me if you think of something? I want to give you what you've always wanted... Just like you did for me tonight."

You blinked slowly at him, the corners of your mouth turned up, "Promise."

He kissed your lips softly and stood, taking your hand and leading you to the living room to watch some TV. At one point, he went to use the restroom and get a water for each of you. You sat on the couch watching the screen and the power went out. You stood and started to round the love seat, keeping contact with the furniture; it was black with all the windows covered and the night sky outside full of dark clouds.

Chris called from the kitchen only a second after everything went dark, "You okay, love?" He was already heading toward you.

"Yeah.", you stopped at the back of the love seat, your hand resting on it.

"Stay where you are, I can't see a fuckin' thing and I don't wanna hurt you.", he chuckled, his footsteps and voice coming closer. "Maaarco..."

You giggled, "Polooo..." God, you loved how silly he was.

"Maaarco..."

You didn't make a sound, smirking in the dark.

His footsteps stopped.

There was a long pause and you took long, slow breaths silently through your mouth, thinking he was probably listening for it.

He took a step and stopped, his voice was low, "Baaabyyy..."

You bit your lip and smiled. Thinking you might be tricky, you turned your back to where his voice was coming from and said quietly, "Hoooneeey..."

He had heard a light rustling from your movement, focusing on the direction of the sound. While your voice sounded like it had come from somewhere else, he knew that trick and knew that your sounds of movement hadn't travelled anywhere. He took two more silent steps and called out softly again, "Baaabyyy..."

You didn't respond. He was getting really close. You were also listening intently for sounds, your eyes gazing to the side in the blackness.

His voice was quiet and deep, "I'm gonna find you, sweetheart... And when I do... I'm gonna fuck you until you're begging me to stop."

He had intended to keep talking to get you excited and then listen for quickened, heavier breathing. But, when he finished his thought, you offered more than he expected in a nearly silent gasp at his words.

You squeezed your eyes shut. Dammit. Within a matter of a few seconds you could feel your backside grow a little warmer, though nothing touched you.

"Found you."

His voice was so close that it starled you slightly, making you jerk. His warm hands then found your waist without having to feel out where you were. He gripped your sides firmly as he took one step closer to rest his body against yours. You could feel his breath on your hair, close to your ear. He whispered, "And what did I say I'd do when I found you?"

You sighed and felt a flutter in your lower belly, your voice soft, "Fuck me until I'm begging you to stop."

He hummed and you felt him growing rigid quickly, "Mmm, is that an answer or a demand, baby girl?"

You whispered, "Yes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! I've been so tired in the evenings!
> 
> Please let me know what you think. Thanks for hanging around and all the comments you give. I really love hearing from you all; comments keep me going!
> 
> XOXO


	69. Lost & Found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> His voice was so close that it starled you slightly, making you jerk. His warm hands then found your waist without having to feel out where you were. He gripped your sides firmly as he took one step closer to rest his body against yours. You could feel his breath on your hair, close to your ear. He whispered, "And what did I say I'd do when I found you?"
> 
> You sighed and felt a flutter in your lower belly, your voice soft, "Fuck me until I'm begging you to stop."
> 
> He hummed and you felt him growing rigid quickly, "Mmm, is that an answer or a demand, baby girl?"
> 
> You whispered, "Yes."

He turned you toward the love seat and pressed you against the back of it with his body, his hands working quickly to slide your underwear down and over your thigh socks. You stepped out of your underwear and he straightened again, tossing them aside. He moved your hair and kissed your neck roughly, grazing you with his teeth.

You let out a whimper and he growled. His hand traveled down the back of your thigh as he lifted it. He set your knee up on the high love seat back, opening you up for him. You brought your foot up to rest on it, along with your knee. His hand traveled down your leg to see how you were positioned and he hummed, "Hmm, that's perfect, honey." He pushed your upper body forward to angle your lower half to be more accessible , "Stay right there, foxy." He gave your head a quick kiss and then went around the house shutting off or unplugging anything that had been left on.

He returned, bent over you, his front pressed against your back and kissed your temple, "There. Now we won't have any interruptions if the power comes back on." He then lowered himself to the floor and turned around, positioning himself underneath where you were spread. There was a silence and your insides were coiling up, anticipating his touch. It seemed to go on forever. The tip of his tongue finally touched you lightly, right at your entrance, where you were already wet. He licked upward, still only using the tip and you let out a jagged breath.

"Already wet for me.", he said quietly and you moaned softly. He licked once more, his hands gently grazing your ass and the backs of your thighs. When his tongue met your little bundle of nerves, he circled lightly around it a couple of times before covering it with his lips and giving it several soft, open mouthed kisses.

"Oh, God, Chris.", you breathed out. His gentle touches were amazing. Gentle in this situation is what got you off the quickest. You didn't know how he knew you so well already, but you were so glad he did.

He planted his mouth over your clit and started to work it over gingerly, slowly, sweeping the flattened tip of his soft tongue side to side. You let out a whimper which turned into a small groan as you started to roll your hips against him slowly, barely moving, your words coming out a whisper, "Unh, baby. THAT...is perfect." You sighed and started to moan as he hummed against you, satisfied with how he was making you feel.

You were getting closer to release steadily, your breathing increased, your sweet sounds of pleasure growing louder. The heat was spreading like fire through your body. The coiling in your lower belly caused you to drop your head, whimpering out, jaggedly, "Oh, God."

Almost there.

His mouth left you, then slowly kissed your inner thighs, one at a time. His hands were still caressing you and you could feel your wetness in his beard as he kissed your skin.

You whined, "Chris, what are you doing?! I was almost there."

"I know.", he gave your skin another soft kiss.

"Why did you stop?!", your voice was desperate.

"I'll always take care of you, baby. I'll make it up to you. Trust me?"

You took a long breath, "Yes."

"That's my girl." You were rewarded with his tongue on you again, working you to the edge effortlessly.

Your sounds grew louder for the second time, your body trembling over him, just about to break- and he stopped again, his mouth leaving you and his hands pausing on the back of your thighs.

"Why?", you whined out.

He smacked your ass once then kneaded it with both hands, "That's doesn't sound like trusting me, sweetheart. I'm doing this for you, you'll see."

You took a deep breath, your voice just above a whisper, "Okay, okay. Chris, please."

He said nothing while you waited, quite impatiently, to feel his mouth on you again. He just stroked your skin with his soft palms, occasionally giving a gentle squeeze on your thighs, your ass, your hips, your waist. Even though you were waiting for more, his loving attention drew soft sighs and hums from you.

He paused his actions while he spoke low, "How hard and fast do you think you can come for me, baby?" He kissed your inner thigh.

Your breath hitched and before you could say anything, his mouth was on you once more inciting a squeak and a shrill, vocal gasp from you... And he was doing everything perfectly; humming against you, his hands caressing you everywhere he could reach. It was only a matter of moments before you were close to climaxing again and you were praying he wasn't going to stop this time. You were gripping what you could of the fabric beneath you, your legs trembling in response to the intense electricity coursing through you and your voice came out a desperate whimper, almost sobbing, "Please don't stop, baby. Please. Please. Ple-e-e-ase."

He could tell you were only seconds away as you had suddenly grown quiet, so he held his hand tightly under the thigh of your raised leg, the other planted firmly against your tilted hip, prepared to support your weight; and not a moment too soon.

The tension inside you snapped like a bolt of lightening. You cried out, nearly screaming and your legs gave way. You grasped at the love seat, desperately trying not to slide off. You had your eyes squeezed shut, coming so hard you saw stars. 

Chris was supporting most of your weight with his strong arms as he growled deeply against you, continuing the torturous motions with his tongue.

"Fuck!", you squeaked out. The sensations were quickly becoming overwhelming, your nerves crying out for mercy, but your legs didn't have enough strength to pull you away from him. You were quivering, feeling like you were losing your mind. You barely managed to whimper out, "Chris..." He flicked your clit with his tongue once, making you yelp. "Stop, please. Please."

He stopped, still holding you up. He gave your folds a long lick and punctuated it was a soft kiss on your clit, making you jerk and squeak. He waited for a beat before he asked, "You okay, little love?"

You were panting hard, your head hanging down and you just mumbled incoherently, causing him to chuckle. He reached up, his back against the love seat now, and put his hands, one at a time, on either side of your ribs, "C'mere, sweetie, I've got you."

_I've got you._

You couldn't help but think of Sebastian hearing those words. That's what he had always said when you felt afraid, worried, insecure, weak... panicked. It was one of the most comforting things that could ever be said to you. You're heart ached for a beat, missing him... But, you almost felt like Chris saying those words meant that Seb lived on between you and Chris. You felt elated at the notion.

You let go and let your weight bring you downward in his grasp.

He guided you down into this lap, your hands coming to rest on his shoulders. You moved them for a moment once he started quickly removing his shirt. He wiped his soaked beard before tossing the shirt aside and pulling you into him for a quick kiss on the lips. He laid your head against the crook of his neck, lightly sweeping the hair off your face and wrapped his arms around you snugly, "I love you, (Y/N)."

Your breathing had calmed, your body limp and exhausted, your voice quiet and tired, "I love you, Chris." You gave his neck a kiss. "So I begged you to stop, but that wasn't fucking."

He chortled and kissed your head, "You're absolutely right. I'm not done with you yet, sweetheart."

The next month, Chris and you flew out to visit his parents for a few days, you meeting them for the first time. Unlike Sebastian's parents, they didn't give you an option and insisted that you call them 'Mom' and 'Dad'. You had the hardest time with that at first and kept calling them 'Mr. and Mrs. Evans'. His mother was enamored with you. She thought you were the sweetest and most level-headed girl. She was thrilled that Chris had found a lady like you. At dinner one night at their house, she let it slip out, "Grandbabies, Chris. She's the one."

"Jesus, mom.", he scoffed. "Take it easy."

You blushed and stared at your plate with a slight smile on your face. Chris squeezed your hand under the table and you glanced at him. He was smiling at you, chuckling. Yep, still didn't look phased, just shocked at his mother's bluntness... You guessed he'd be actually ready eventually... To be married and start a family. No need to bring it up yet though, you thought.

Once you both flew back home, you felt quite comfortable with everyone, Chris's brother and sisters included. They all made you feel really welcome.

A few more weeks of 'new relationship bliss' had passed and spring was in full bloom. Late one Saturday morning after you and Chris had finished watching a movie in bed, he went to run a shower for you both, while you went to put the DVD back in the living room. After you heard Chris turn on the water and you set the case in the shelf near the TV, there was a soft knock on the front door. You were wearing a t-shirt nightie, not too provocative, so you answered it. It was Sharon, holding a grocery bag in one hand.

Your eyebrows shot up, "Oh. Sharon. Hi."

She barely made eye contact, managed what really couldn't even be called a smile and held out the bag to you, "Sorry to bother you, I just wanted to finally drop off a few--"

Chris opened the bathroom door and started shouting as he stripped, cutting off Sharon's statement, "Foxy, you better get your ass in here", he peeked his head out the door as he finished, "so I can fuck you silly-"

Both your and Sharon's eyes got wide, she turned beet red as you whipped around and Chris saw straight to you both at the door. "Oh, shit.", he muttered. He just raised a hand at her in greeting, pressing his lips together, extremely uncomfortable.

She nodded once and spoke low to you, "Uh, bad time, I guess." She handed you the bag, "Here you go."

You took it. "Thank you, Sharon. I'm sorry."

She shook her head, not making eye contact, "Don't worry."

She turned and left as you shut the door, looking at Chris, cringing as you headed to him, "God, that was awkward."

"Really awkward. I feel terrible.", Chris pursed his lips as you handed him the bag and kissed his lips then entered the bathroom.

"Don't feel so bad, honey. It was just bad timing." You started to strip your own clothes off, him looking into the bag as you continued, "And please don't let that stop you from shouting through the house about wanting to fuck me. I love that too much." You both laughed. "What's in the bag?", you asked.

He tossed it in the trash can, "Nothing I've needed for over six months, apparently."

Two days later, you were taking the morning off for a doctor's appointment. Chris kept begging to go with you while you ate breakfast, "Baby, come on. I wanna go. I get worried."

You drank the last of your coffee and titled your head at him, "Love, it's just a physical. I'm sure everything's fine. I haven't had panic attacks in forever, the girly organs have been cleared as healthy for ages. We've been eating _mostly_ healthy and still exercising. I'm sure everything's fine." You patted his hand, took your dishes to the sink with him staring after you, still looking displeased at your answer. You headed back to him, "I'll text you as soon as I'm done, okay?"

He sighed reluctantly and pulled you into him between his legs, "Okay." He kissed your nose. "I'll meet you at the office." He smacked your ass, kissed your lips and your both headed out the door.

Once your appointment was over, you texted him, _'So far so good. Waiting for test results on blood work. Should have them next week. I'm sure everything's fine. On my way to the office.'_

_'Okay, baby girl. Where you wanna go for lunch today?'_

_'Steak!... Or salmon.'_

_'Not sushi? You feeling okay?'_

_'We had sushi three times last week. I want steak!... Or salmon. OR TACOS!'_

You were so indecisive a lot of the time, luckily Chris found it cute, not annoying.

_'Okay, you got it!... Them? LOL Love you.'_

_'Love you, sexyface!'_

You went to lunch together and ended up getting tacos... Fish tacos. After work, you both went home and you made dinner, Chris did the dishes with you afterwards, touching, holding and kissing you as much as he could. You noticed he seemed a little more... You would say he was more loving over the last couple weeks, but it wasn't more... It was just different. Not that he wasn't attentive normally, just seemed a little different now, the energy from him had changed wavelengths, but not intensity.

After dinner you headed to the living room to watch TV and crochet. Chris offered to make tea and then join you. As he brought the cups in and set them on the coffee table, you were sitting cross-legged, working with your hook and yarn. He sat facing you, his bent knee on the couch touching you. He took a corner of the gray colored fabric between his fingers, "Wow, that's really soft. This a new project?"

"Yeah, it's new. I love this yarn!", you felt it between your own fingers, grinned at him, then looked to your work again.

"What's it gonna be?"

"A baby blanket."

He turned his head, brows furrowed, thinking, "Who do we know that's having a baby?"

You chuckled, "The Bartons."

He pulled his head back and his eyebrows shot up, "Really? Again? Wow. How many does that make for them now? Twenty?"

You laughed, shaking your head as you set your work aside and looked at him, "Just kidding. It's us."

His expression became blank in shock, then his brows pulled up in the center, his chest started heaving and a small smile crept across his closed lips, "We-- You're--" He blinked fast a couple times, "Are you serious?"

You nodded, smiling softly.

He took your hand in both of his. His face suddenly became concerned, "How far are you? Is everything okay?"

The poor guy was worried, considering what had happened with you and Sebastian... Which is why you took precautions to assure him. You smiled reassuringly and nodded, "Yeah, honey. Everything's fine. My appointment today was actually with my OB and I got an ultrasound to make sure everything is going how it should before telling you. I'm 8 weeks."

Tears were starting to fill his eyes, which made you tear up as well. He heaved out a huge sigh and nodded. He took your face in his hands and kissed you gently on the lips, then resting his forehead against yours, his voice strained with emotion, "I love you so much, baby. This is so amazing."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD!!!
> 
> COMMENT, COMMENT, COMMENT! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PLEASE COMMENT!
> 
> I LOVE YOU GUYS! I'M SO EXCITED!
> 
> THANK YOU ALL FOR EVERYTHING!
> 
> I LOVE YOU! YOU'RE WELCOME!
> 
> XOXO
> 
> Also, apparently, Reader is a Fertile Myrtle and the boys have ninja swimmers. She and Chris have only been having sex for about 2 months... she's 8 weeks. Aaaand she got pregs with Seb their first time. And it appears the pill is useless in this story! XD


	70. Confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: This is a super short chapter. I haaaaate posting short chapters, but most of you would rather have shorter chapters so you can have daily updates. I will try it for a few and see if it jives with me and my flow.
> 
> REFRESHER:
> 
> The poor guy was worried, considering what had happened with you and Sebastian... Which is why you took precautions to assure him. You smiled reassuringly and nodded, "Yeah, honey. Everything's fine. My appointment today was actually with my OB and I got an ultrasound to make sure everything is going how it should before telling you. I'm 8 weeks."
> 
> Tears were starting to fill his eyes, which made you tear up as well. He heaved out a huge sigh and nodded. He took your face in his hands and kissed you gently on the lips, then resting his forehead against yours, his voice strained with emotion, "I love you so much, baby. This is so amazing."

He was still holding your face gently in his hands, his forehead against yours, your hands clasped over his forearms.

"I love you, Chris.", you replied.

"Marry me."

You pulled back surprised and chortled nervously, "What? Chris, we don't have to get married because I'm pregnant."

"I know.", he nodded. He kissed your lips again and stood. "Don't move." He left the room quickly.

You weren't sure what he was doing. You sat there going through possibilities when he entered the room again, one of his hands in a fist. He moved to you quickly and he put one knee down on the floor next to where you sat on the sofa. He took your hand in his free one, the fist behind his back and he was looking at you lovingly.

You took a deep, nervous breath, blinking quickly and thinking, _'Oh my God, is he...'_

"I'm so happy that you're having my baby...", he pulled his hand from behind his back, pinching a solitare ring between his thumb and finger. You glanced at it, then back to him, your eyes welling up. His gaze was intense, "Please be my wife too, (Y/N)."

Your hand covered your mouth and you swallowed hard. You blinked and tears rolled from your eyes. You removed your hand from your mouth to swipe at them. His face was sympathetic, but he just waited, squeezing your hand reassuringly. Your voice uneven as you started to cry, "This is a lot in one day." You chuckled nervously.

He huffed out a laugh, "Yeah. It is, sweetheart. You don't have to answer right now, okay?" He palmed the ring and closed his hand, then swiped the knuckles of that hand down your cheek gently and smiled softly at you. His eyes were so filled with adoration, looking deep into yours.

God, he was so fucking patient with you. How did you get so lucky? All this time... All that you both had been through... He was steadfast and strong for you. He had always- always done what was best for you both... So you could be together... Even when you thought it might wreck you both and your friendship in the process. He did what he had to... What he had always told you he would do... He said it to you often, for almost two years now... First as your friend and now as your lover... _I'll always take care of you._

And he always had.

You started to smile and whispered, "Yes."

His eyes lit up and he started to beam as you continued.

"I want to be your wife."

He stood and pulled you to up to stand and lifted you off your feet, hugging you tightly and kissed your cheek enthusiastically. He set you down, pulled back and took your face in his hands and kissed you hard. "Oh my God, I fucking love you!", he nearly shouted, making you laugh.

He kissed you again, "You've made me the happiest man alive, baby." He threw his hands up and actually shouted this time, "And I'm gonna be a Dad!"

You chuckled, smiling so big you thought your face might crack as he stuck his tongue out slightly between his lips, held a fist at about shoulder level and gave it a quick jerk in his all too familiar signature fist pump of triumph. Then he kissed you again. You had a feeling he was going to be kissing you a whole hell of a lot for a while.

"Oh.", he took your left hand and moved the promise ring to your right hand ring finger. He then place the engagement ring on your left hand. "Okay, this is just like a place marker ring. I didn't wanna propose without a ring, but I want us to pick out our wedding set together. I didn't spend very much at all on it and I can return it. You can keep it if you want to. I just want you to have exactly what you want, love." He kissed your knuckles.

You smiled and nodded as your stomach fluttered at his gesture, "Okay."

His eyebrows shot up, his face a little disgusted, "Jesus!"

You face was concerned, "What?"

"I'm being the worst father..." He crouched down in front of you, setting a knee on the floor to steady himself. Your hands rested on his shoulders as you smiled down at him. He held your hips, closed his eyes and nuzzled your lower belly with his nose, then kissed you there. He rested his forehead so lightly against you as he spoke quietly, "Hi, little baby. I'm your Daddy and I'm so glad you came to us. We're gonna love you so much. I can't wait to meet you." He kissed your stomach again and then spoke low and quick, you almost couldn't make out what he was saying... Almost, "And please be a boy."

You threw your head back and laughed, then spoke while still chuckling, "What's wrong with a girl?"

He stood smiling and wrapped you completely in his arms, "Are you kidding me?! I have a hard enough time taking care of you AND Miss Shirley. I told you, two ladies to take care of is too much for me."

"You've been through tons worse with me already. I think you could do it... hero."

He hummed and kissed your head, "But when she got old enough to start dating... I think I'd lose my mind worrying."

"Well, she would already have a perfect example of what a good man is in you, babe. Plus, we'd teach her to stand up for herself and that she's doesn't need to settle. She'd be fine."

He nodded against you slightly, "And she'd have the best woman in the world to look up to."

You pulled back and looked up at him smiling, "Thank you."

"I only speak the truth, sweetness.", he moved to sit and pulled your down onto his lap, resting his hand on your thighs and tickling your back with the other. "So, are you worried about showing when we get married? Do we need to do this soon?"

"Well, I'll probably start showing in another month or two... Actually,", you hitched your head to one side, "I'm not terribly worried one way or the other."

He nodded smirking, "You're gonna look so fucking sexy with a baby belly."

You chortled nervously, "I hope so."

His face got serious, "You will, sweetheart. Don't worry." He paused and squinted looking to the side, "How long have you known?"

"About a month."

His mouth fell open, then he turned his head to look at you, "Thaaaaat's why you haven't been drinking. I knew 'I just don't like it that much anymore' sounded a little weird for you."

You bobbed your head around, "Yeah, well... It DOES happen to some people. Some just stop drinking for no reason." Now you asked him, "How long have you been planning on proposing?"

"About two weeks.", he smirked. "I was just trying to find the right time. Nothing felt more right than when you told me..." He looked at your belly rubbing gentle circles over it with his fingertips, his voice almost a whisper, "God, I'm so fucking excited!"

The butterflies in your stomach felt like thousands as you smiled, "Me too, Daddy."

His eyes met yours and he hummed, "Hmm, my little Mama.", he leaned in and nuzzled your nose with his own. "Okay,", he grunted and scooted forward on the couch cushion, slid an arm under your knees, then stood while picking you up in his arms, "Time for celebratory sex." He headed for the bedroom as you chuckled and he finished his thought, "And we're gonna do it twice because we hit two milestones." He grinned and kissed your lips quickly.

"Oh myyyyy.", you laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the [fist pump](http://beardedchrisevans.tumblr.com/post/136963257499/do-you-like-being-tagged-in-edits-of-evans)!
> 
> God, he's adorable. *u* Daddy Chris... Oh Lordy, here we go... It's gonna be amazing!
> 
> You guys rock, I know I've never met any of my regular commenters (and even those who have only commented once), but I love you all to pieces! Your comments, praise and encouragement have really helped push me through this story when it wasn't always easy to keep writing. Thank you so much... And thank yourselves... Because I probably would've have stopped writing this story long ago if it wasn't for your reassuring and validating words.
> 
> I love you guys. <3<3<3
> 
> XOXO
> 
> PS- Ohhh! As I think about Chris and Seb often (obvs), I dream of them often... What do you guys think of me actually posting the dreams (or one shots based around them) and calling them "Dream Shots"? I don't mind letting you into my psyche. But what do you think?
> 
> Cool idea?... Or too weird?


	71. Promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> His eyes met yours and he hummed, "Hmm, my little Mama.", he leaned in and nuzzled your nose with his own. "Okay,", he grunted and scooted forward on the couch cushion, slid an arm under your knees, then stood while picking you up in his arms, "Time for celebratory sex." He headed for the bedroom as you chuckled and he finished his thought, "And we're gonna do it twice because we hit two milestones." He grinned and kissed your lips quickly.
> 
> "Oh myyyyy.", you laughed.

Chris padded back into the bedroom in his briefs after the two rounds of "celebratory sex" that he declared necessary... You didn't argue. Why would you? He crawled onto the bed, a bottle of water in one hand, as you layed on your back under the sheet in a satisfied daze, one leg bent near the edge of the bed, your eyelids falling and rising lazily.

He plopped down hard on his side on an elbow, bouncing you a bit, making you giggle. He smiled and opened the bottle, handing it to you, "We should call my parents."

You got up on both your elbows and the took the bottle, "Thank you. Now? It's after eleven there, honey." You took a swig of water as he leaned forward and kissed your shoulder.

"Yeah, but,", he kissed your shoulder again, "they should know first and I'm not gonna be able to keep it from anyone I know... Or see... Even strangers.", he chuckled.

You chortled and handed him the bottle and laid back down as he took a long drink, then spoke, "I'd like to call Seb's parents too; tomorrow. They've always been like my second parents. Are you okay with that, sweetheart?"

You smiled softly and nodded, "Yeah, of course." You reached over and tickled his chest with your fingertips, "How long you think until Shirley can tell that I'm pregnant?" You huffed out a laugh.

He tilted his head, letting it drop downward looking sideways towards the ceiling as he held your hand still against his chest now, "She hasn't said anything?"

You shook your head, "No."

"Hmm, maybe she's losing her psychic abilities.", you both chuckled. He put the bottle on the nightstand and settled against you under the sheet, pulling you into him, and nuzzling your neck. "So when you wanna get married, sweetness?" He started caressing your belly lightly with a gentle hand.

You hummed, "Mmm, that feels so good. I thought you wanted to call your parents, babe?", you giggled.

"Oh, shit.", he turned to the nightstand quickly, "That's right." He reached for his phone there and turned back towards you, getting up on his elbow again and tapping it a couple times before putting it to his ear. As it rang, he leaned over you, giving you several kisses on the lips, including a short hum with each one. He tipped the phone quickly to his mouth again as he pulled back from you, "Hey. Mom-" He paused, "Yeah, I know what time it is."

You mouthed, "I told you."

He stuck out his tongue quickly and spoke again, "No, everything's fine..." He started tenderly rubbing your belly again as he listened. "Well, yes, it's important." He paused again. "Well, I'm trying to tell you, but you're lecturing me and giving me the third degree here, ma." You put your fist to your mouth trying to stifle a laugh as he chuckled under his breath at you, giving your side a gentle, ticklish squeeze, making you squeak quietly as he continued, "(Y/N) and I are getting married-"

You heard a shriek come from the phone as Chris quickly took it away from his ear, scrunching up his face. "Jesus.", he muttered while you could hear his mother's frenzied voice on the other end. You giggled as he put it back to his ear with her still going on. He waited for a beat, then addressed you, his voice low, "Now I can hear my Dad going on about her waking the neighborhood."

You couldn't help but crack up, covering you mouth to be quiet.

He spoke into the phone again, "Ma...M- Mom!... Mom!!!" It got quiet gradually, then he added, "And she's pregnant." He was smart enough to take the phone away from his head before finishing his statement this time. Good thing too; she _screamed_ into the phone.

Chris eyes got so wide you thought they might pop out of his head, which he pulled back in surprise. Your reaction was nearly identical to his. You both started laughing hysterically and you could hear her shrill voice crying, blubbering and yelling about how her boy was _finally_ gonna give her a grand-baby and get married.

When Chris got her calmed down, he said, "Thank you, mom. We're really happy too." He listened, "Yeah, one sec." He handed you the phone and smiled softly.

You put the phone to your ear, "Hi."

Her voice was still emotional, "Hello, sweet girl! Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!"

"Thank you." You smiled, "Me too."

"How far along are you?", she asked sweetly.

"Eight weeks.", you smiled at Chris and he leaned over to kiss your forehead softly.

"Oh, wonderful. Do you know what you want?"

Chris moved down, laying a bit sideways on the bed, on his stomach, resting on his elbows, his folded arms touching your hip. He started giving your belly soft kisses and then laid his head on your there without putting any weight on you. You ran your fingers softly through his hair as he looked at you while you answered her, "It doesn't matter to me, but Chris wants a boy." His mouth curved upward as he looked at you lovingly, blinking slowly.

"Oh, how sweet.", she cooed. "Do you have a date for the wedding yet?"

"Not yet. We actually _just_ got engaged tonight.", you chuckled. "But we'll let you know as soon as we do."

"Perfect.", you could hear her smiling. "We're retired, so we can leave at the drop of a hat. Oh! Also, if you want help when the baby comes, don't hesitate to let me know. I can even stay in a hotel at times. I know new moms can feel overwhelmed by having someone else in their house twenty-four, seven."

"That's really sweet, thank you."

"You're welcome, dear. Thank you for being so great to my son. I know you'll make him very happy."

You smiled at Chris, "I sure hope so. He's got me over the moon every day."

He lifted a hand and took yours off his head to kiss your knuckles softly. You said goodbye to her and handed the phone back to Chris. He was still gazing at you. "Hey.", he said into the phone. After a moment, he spoke again, "Whoaaa. Okay, let's not jump the gun here, okay? We can talk on that later, alright? And you might wanna talk it over with Dad first... For a real long while.", he chuckled. "Alright. I love you, too, mom. Bye."

He tapped the phone to disconnect the call and you looked at him inquisitively.

"She wants to move here to be close to us.", he cocked an eyebrow.

Your eyebrows popped up, "Wow. Really? What about your other siblings... And her other grandkids?"

He shook his head lazily, closing his eyes, "I- I don't know. I think she's just really excited.", he scoffed, smiling and putting his phone on the nightstand again. "So,", he nuzzled up to you again, kissing your temple, "When ya gonna marry me, sexy mama?"

You thought for a beat, "Hmm... Can we get something together in about 2 months?"

"Well, we do happen to know the best event planner in the state..."

You nodded and you both said in unison, "Pepper." You added, "Yeah, I think we could ask for her help. That would be a good idea. I'll take her and the girls out to lunch as soon as we can all swing it to talk wedding stuff." A wave of that first trimester pregnancy fatigue hit you all the sudden like bag of bricks and you yawned.

"Okay.", Chris chuckled.

"And I'll be...", you counted on your fingers silently, "Sixteen weeks then. That's four months, abooooout halfway through the pregnancy... So I'll need to keep that in mind while dress shopping. OH! When are we gonna shop for rings?"

He pulled back and grinned at you, "Whenever you want, baby girl." He kissed your nose.

You smiled sleepily and rolled into his chest before closing your eyes, "And I need to think about flowers..."

Chris's eyebrows pulled up the center, he was smiling with a closed mouth, looking down at you and watching you start to nod off.

Your voice was getting quiet, slow and you were starting to mumble, along with jumbling and skipping words, "...Pep can prolly help that too. She's good fr... She's a good people... She loves me... I don't- she'd for me- do- for me..."

And you were out.

Chris grinned, looking over your beautifully peaceful face and stroked his fingertips along your forehead and across your temple, down your cheek and to your jaw. His heart was so full, he felt like he could just yell with joy. He was finally getting everything he'd always wanted with you; to be your husband, the father of your children, your protector, your safe place, your support, your strong partner... Your everything. The words echoed in his mind again. But, to his surprise, one word had changed as he heard Sebastian's voice, _'Take care of our girl.'_

He started to tear up slightly, closed his eyes and barely whispered, "I promise, bro." He kissed your head, rolled backward just enough to reach the lamp. You made a small noise of protest in your sleep at feeling him move away from you. He clicked off the lamp and rolled back to you enveloping you in his arms. He whispered, "Shhh, I'm here, baby girl."

You nuzzled into his chest and said so softly, "I love you, Chris."

He sighed heavily and closed his eyes. He always loved hearing you say his name so sweetly when you were sleeping, but having you say it along with expressing your love for him now that you were his? It filled him with more contentment than he ever imagined he could feel. He kissed your head once more and gave your belly a couple strokes with the knuckles of his curled fingers before holding you securely in both his arms again, "I love you, (Y/N)."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think. Comments make me LIIIIIIIVE!
> 
> *sigh*
> 
> These two... They make me feel so good. Chris understands and accepts now that she was never just Seb's... She belonged to them both... Always had... Always will.
> 
> Hugs and love, you sweet peoples. Thanks for everything. You're awesome!
> 
> XOXO


	72. Before Sunrise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> He sighed heavily and closed his eyes. He always loved hearing you say his name so sweetly when you were sleeping, but having you say it along with expressing your love for him now that you were his? It filled him with more contentment than he ever imagined he could feel. He kissed your head once more and gave your belly a couple strokes with the knuckles of his curled fingers before holding you securely in both his arms again, "I love you, (Y/N)."

You woke the next morning, on your side, Chris on his knees and elbows over you, a leg and arm on each side of you. His chest was against your arm, his groin against your hip.

He still hadn't stopped getting up every work day before you in order to make breakfast. When it was ready and right before you had to get up, he'd come into the bedroom, turn off the alarm before it went off and crawl over you to wake you gently, lovingly. It had become his favorite way to help you start your days during the week.

He swept your hair away from your face and neck with his fingertips and spoke softly, "Morning, beautiful."

You stirred slightly beneath him.

He kissed your cheek and then your temple, carressing your stomach with a light hand, "Come on little mama, time to have a great day."

You hummed sleepily, your eyes opening slowly. The sun wasn't up yet, but the kitchen light was on, streaming across the floor at the foot of the bed. You could see him over you when you turned your head, blinkly lazily, your voice groggy as you turned slightly to wrap your arms around his neck, "Mmmm, heyyy, stud.", you smiled at him, making a reference to him getting you pregnant.

He kissed your lips, letting out a low chuckle, shaking his head lazily as he spoke, "M-hm, love it. Love it." He kissed you again.

You hummed happily, "Wow, I fell out in a flash last night. I don't even remember falling asleep."

He got off you to help you up, taking your hand, "Well, your growing a tiny human, baby. That's hard work."

As you stood, you realized you were still naked from last night, but Chris was already getting your robe from the hook on the back of the door. He handed it to you and kissed your head, then crouched in front of you as you pulled the robe onto your arms.

He kissed your belly and spoke sweetly to it, his hands on your hips, "Good morning, baby bean. You have an awesome day with Mama, okay? Daddy loves you." You smiled down at him as he kissed you there once more and stood. He kissed your lips as you tied your robe closed.

"You're amazing, honey.", you beamed.

He lifted a corner of his mouth, "Nah." He took your hand and led you to the kitchen, "Did I mention you're growing a person? That's way more amazing than anything I could ever do." He tucked your chair in as you sat.

He went to fetch plates and returned to the table with them and set them down, "Eggs fried in coconut oil served on whole grain toast with avocado on top." He headed back and rounded the island, "After you fell asleep last night, I looked up breakfasts that are good for expecting mothers." He picked up two mugs and headed back, "Just so happens one of your favorites was on the list. Eggs have lots of iron to combat fatigue. Also, caffeine can increase the baby's heart rate,", he set down the mugs, "so I thought we could go with something having less than coffee and try green tea." He sat, beaming proudly.

You placed a hand on his wrist as he rested it against the table, grinning proudly yourself, "Well, look at you; proactive Daddy." You stood just enough to lean over and kiss him, then taking your seat again, "And you say your not amazing." You jerked your head to the side, "Psh!"

He chuckled, then smiled softly, "You're giving me the most beautiful gift. I have to take care of both that gift and you the best I can. To do anything less would be ungrateful. And I'm far from that.", he paused. "I love you sweetheart."

You pressed your lips together, making a funny face, trying to hold back tears, your voice coming out an emotional whine, "I love you so much, Chris."

He chuckled, his face sympathetic as he stood, "Aw, baby. I didn't mean to make you cry."

He held you against his front as you clutched onto him, sobbing lightly, "It's okay. I feel like it's too much. Am I being overly dramatic? Must be those pregnancy hormones I've heard all about. I'm sorry." You sniffed.

He hitched his mouth in a half smile, rubbing your back, "Don't worry, little love."

He released you and sat again, stroking your forearm as you nodded and picked up your fork, wiping at your eyes and sniffing again.

"Now just eat your breakfast, sweetness.", he encouraged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter, sorry. At least it's hella fluffy.
> 
> I think I ate something that didn't agree with me since I'm nauseous with stomach cramps. And I'm damn tired too. Blergh. I'm going to bed.
> 
> Let me know what you think.
> 
> XOXO


	73. News

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> He chuckled, his face sympathetic as he stood, "Aw, baby. I didn't mean to make you cry."
> 
> He held you against his front as you clutched onto him, sobbing lightly, "It's okay. I feel like it's too much. Am I being overly dramatic? Must be those pregnancy hormones I've heard all about. I'm sorry." You sniffed.
> 
> He hitched his mouth in a half smile, rubbing your back, "Don't worry, little love."
> 
> He released you and sat again, stroking your forearm as you nodded and picked up your fork, wiping at your eyes and sniffing again.
> 
> "Now just eat your breakfast, sweetness.", he encouraged.

After breakfast, you both did dishes and took a shower together. He asked if you wanted to call your parents with the news. You told him no, flatly. He didn't push the issue any further.

You had told Chris and Seb both about your parents once you had been friends with them for a while. You didn't talk to or see them anymore. They didn't even know where you were living now and you wanted to keep it that way. They were mentally and emotionally abusive, manipulative. Growing up was pretty difficult because of it, but it made you a stronger person; the only positive you could pull from it. It also made you much more grateful for the loving people that came into your life, especially Chris and Sebastian.

You still had contact with a couple cousins and an aunt, but only because you trusted them completely not to talk to your parents about you at all.

As you both got ready for work, you talked about how you'd like to share the news. You yourself hadn't told _anyone_ when you took that test and found out it was positive. You believed that Chris had the explicit right to know first, but you had wanted to be sure it was going well before telling him. You had feared the both of you getting excited to have a baby just to lose it... like you had with Seb. You sure as hell hadn't wanted him to have that fear either if you could save him from it.

You and Chris decided that you would invite the friend circle over on Friday and surprise them with the wedding _and_ pregnancy announcements. You had asked Chris to put the engagement ring away and you wore your promise ring on your left hand again until you told everyone. He had been so excited to tell anyone that he might speak to that day. But, once you had talked it out, he agreed it would be more fun to tell all your friends together at once. You had an idea, but you needed to get someone in on it... And Chris loved the idea.

Friday couldn't come fast enough... Especially for Chris. He kept telling you how excited he was and how hard it was to wait. Once Friday finally came, everyone showed up about the same time, Chris had already started a fire in the back yard. Luckily, no one had noticed that you weren't drinking anything yet. You were in the kitchen, finishing filling snack bowls when Chris came in to fetch you. He wrapped his arms around your waist from behind and kissed the side of your hair stroking your belly with a soft hand, then whispered, "You ready, baby?"

You put down the bag of chips you were holding, "Yeah."

He led you out back by the hand. Everyone was kind of standing around or sitting in chairs all around the yard, talking. Chris stood on the edge of the low deck, pulling your backside against his front. He wrapped his arms around your middle securely. You rested your arms over his as he whispered into your ear, "Finally. I'm so fucking excited."

"Hey! Announcement!", Tony piped up a few feet from you.

Thor asked, like he _always_ does when Tony says he has an announcement, "Pepper's pregnant?!"

Tony rolled his eyes and scoffed, "No."

"WE'RE GETTING MARRIED!", you shouted.

Everyone's eyebrows shot up and there were gasps of surprise.

Right behind your words, Chris shoved his fists in the air triumphantly, grinning ear to ear, "AND I GOT HER PREGNANT!"

There was a burst of laughter and then a commotion of excited voices as Tony started clapping, others joining him as he smiled warmly.

Nat walked to you quickly as others began to come to you both. She smiled brightly, hugging you both, "Oh my God, you guys! This is fucking amazing! I'm so happy."

"Thanks, Nat.", Chris said as she pulled back. He added, "You really helped us."

You nodded, "Yes, you did. Thank you so much."

She hitched her mouth in a half smile, "I just wanted you both to be happy."

She stepped aside so the others could hug and congratulate you both. 

Of course you asked Nat to be your maid of honor and she accepted. You and Chris hadn't even spoken about if you wanted a wedding party, so you didn't ask anyone else yet. You got anxious at the thought of planning and felt like you needed to get moving on it... And soon. You didn't mind being a pregnant bride, but you wanted Chris to be your husband for as much of your pregnancy as possible. The thought gnawed at you a bit.

"Sweetheart?", Chris's voice brought you out of your thoughts while you sat and stared blankly at the kitchen tabletop, a carrot stick pinched in your fingers. There were a few others in the kitchen with you both. He had crouched next to you, holding a beer in his hand, resting it on the table, a hand at your back.

You blinked and looked at him, smiling softly. Your eyelids felt heavy.

"You okay?", he asked sweetly, rubbing your back a little with his flat hand.

You nodded, putting the carrot on the plate of veggies and ranch dip in front of you and answered quietly, "Yeah." You paused. "Can we please talk about wedding plans and go get rings tomorrow? I'm feeling a little anxious about getting it all done in time."

His brows pulled up in the center, "Of course. But we don't have to rush anything, love."

You hitched your mouth to one side slightly, "I want you to be my husband for as much of the pregnancy as possible."

He gave you a sympathetic smile, laced with affection, "Tell you what? I'll go talk to Pepper and ask if she'll plan for us and when the soonest is that she can sit down with us. We'll even hash out our own ideas to each other at that time. She can take down some basic ideas and we could let her take the reins from there. Would that work? I don't want you getting stressed over this."

You just blinked long a couple times and nodded.

"Are you sure you're okay, sweetness?" He swiped a closed hand softly down your cheek, "You look like you're gonna fall asleep and out of this chair if I leave.", he chuckled softly.

"I am actually getting tired fast, but I wanna know what Pepper says. I'll go lay down after that, I think."

"Okay." He called over his shoulder across the kitchen, "Sam!"

Sam turned and raised his eyebrows expectantly.

Chris stood, pulling you up by the hand. "Will you please ask Pepper to come see us?" He sat in the chair and pulled you down onto his lap.

Sam nodded, "Sure thing." He headed out the back door.

You put an arm around Chris's neck as his arms wrapped around your waist securely, one of his hands stroking your belly. You rested your head against his, sighing, "God, I can't believe how damn tired I get."

He titled his head up, kissed your cheek and spoke low, "What you're doing is amazing; your body working so hard to make a life... You rest as much as you need to, baby."

Once Sam reappeared, Pepper came in behind him. She sat at the table, beaming, "Hey, what's up?"

Chris spoke, "We wanted to ask if you would be so kind as to plan our wedding; (Y/N)'s getting a bit overwhelmed at the thought." Pepper's face brightened a degree as Chris continued, "I'd like to keep the load off her as much as possible."

She grinned happily, "Yes, I'd love to! When do you guys want to get together and talk about it? We can talk now, if you want."

"I'm pretty tired. I need to lay down right now.", you answered while Pepper nodded.

Chris added, "How about tomorrow?"

Pepper's eyes went to the ceiling, "Tomorrow iiiis..." Her eyes went to Chris as she narrowed them, "Saturday?"

He gave one nod.

"Yeah, I can do that.", she smiled sweetly.

"Thank you, Pepper.", you blinked long, your head resting against Chris's again. You started to drift off, hearing Chris talking to Pepper again and your head lolled a bit, then fell forward, snapping you awake again. You could barely keep your eyes open even while holding up your head.

Chris of course noticed as Pepper chuckled softly. Chris grunted while hooking an arm under your legs and picking you up as he stood, "Alright, little mama. Let's get you to bed."

"If you insist.", you mumbled sleepily, laying your head against the crook of his neck.

"Oh, I insist.", he replied as he entered the bedroom. He set you down on the made bed and you hummed. You immediately rolled over onto your side, and started nuzzling his pillow. Chris turned on the bedside lamp to the lowest setting and asked you, "You want me to close the door or lay with you, baby? Anything?"

He took off your shoes as you barely managed, "No, I could sleep through anything right now. Go visit with your friends, babe." You started to drift off.

He covered you with a throw blanket, "Okay, sweetheart. I'll be in the kitchen if you need me." He came to your side, stroked your hair once, then your belly and kissed your temple, "I love you, baby."

"I love you, big guy."

He pulled up one side of his mouth in a half smile, then left the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! Comments keep me going!
> 
> Love you guys!
> 
> I also posted that new fic and called it "Dream Shots". Check it out and please answer the questions in the summary.
> 
> Thanks!
> 
> Much love!
> 
> XOXO


	74. Preparations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> He took off your shoes as you barely managed, "No, I could sleep through anything right now. Go visit with your friends, babe." You started to drift off.
> 
> He covered you with a throw blanket, "Okay, sweetheart. I'll be in the kitchen if you need me." He came to your side, stroked your hair once, then your belly and kissed your temple, "I love you, baby."
> 
> "I love you, big guy."
> 
> He pulled up one side of his mouth in a half smile, then left the room.

The next morning, Saturday, you and Chris went ring shopping. And found the perfect set; titanium flat bands with engraved electrocardiogram lines having three beat spikes with the center one being a heart. You had told Chris that he could return the engagement ring and that you would wear your promise ring until the wedding; you loved it so much. You then met with Pepper for lunch to talk over what you both wanted for the wedding.

Once you all ordered, Pepper opened a notebook she brought to take notes and make sketches.

"Where's Tony?", you asked.

"Are you kidding me? He'd just be one big distraction.", she chortled as you and Chris chuckled. "Ooookay... So. What's our budget?"

Chris spoke without missing a beat while you took a sip of your water, "Twenty thousand."

You choked on your water and started having a coughing fit. You didn't know how much a wedding usually cost, but that sounded like a really big number.

Pepper looked surprised, "Oh!" She quickly handed you a napkin.

Chris's eyebrows shot up, he leaned forward and dipped his head, then rubbed your back, "You okay, baby?"

You nodded, still coughing. You wiped your mouth, setting down your glass.

"Put your arms up, above your head and sit up straight, love.", he ordered.

You did as he said and as your coughing started to settle you spoke, "I had no idea you had that much money." You coughed once more.

He chortled, "Yeah, well, I work hard and don't need a lot to be happy. Just you and our little bean." He carressed your belly softly and kissed your cheek. You blinked slowly at him.

Pepper grinned, "That's so sweet." She picked up her pen again, "Okay, ballpark how many guests?"

You looked to Chris, his arm around you now. He smiled and you spoke to him, "It's not gonna be many for me. Our shared friends and only handful of family, maybe five from my family."

He nodded and told Pepper, "Let's do one hundred people." He glanced at you expectantly.

"Yeah, that sounds good.", you nodded at him and then Pepper.

Pepper smiled scribbled in her notebook and asked her next question, "Simple or extravagant?"

Chris chuckled and smirked at you, "That's all you, sweetheart. In fact, just tell her what you want and I'll give input if I have any different ideas." He kissed your forehead as you smiled.

"Okay,", you started hesitantly, then turned to Chris, "Babe, I don't wanna spend all that money."

He closed his eyes for a beat and shook his head, "Don't worry, honey. Just tell Pep what you want. I want you to have what you want."

"Thank you.", you beamed at him, then addressed Pepper again, "Mostly simple... Maybe three quarters simple and a little extravagant."

"Great.", she scribbled again. "Okay, now lay it all on me. What's your vision?"

You looked to Chris again smiling, you were getting a little excited. He winked at you.

"Rustic themed, sunflowers and small wild flowers of all colors, wood, lots of soft, billowy white fabric. I'd like everything to be soft, airy and natural.", you rattled off.

"You have main colors in mind?", she was still jotting your last details down.

"I'd like yellow... But, I want any colors to be accents, not the focus. I think white should be the main color."

"Okay." She looked up from her paper. "So, you want the majority white, yellow as a first accent color and any other colors, probably from mostly the wildflowers, to be a secondary accent?"

"Yes. Perfect.", you grinned.

"Okay." She scribbled again. "Wedding party; how many?"

You said to Chris, "I'm okay with just maid of honor and best man." You shrugged, pulling down the corners of your mouth.

His brows furrowed and tucked in his bottom lip. He then nodded, "Yeah, that's fine, hon."

You tilted your head, "Chris? What's wrong?"

He shook his head, "Just- I hadn't even thought about that yet and the only one I would've asked to be my best man isn't around anymore." He pressed his lips together.

Your brows furrowed in sadness, "I'm sorry, honey." You rubbed his back, while Pepper frowned.

He hitched up one side of his mouth. "I'll ask Sam. Just him and Nat will be fine." He managed a small smile. "If you hadn't asked already, I probably would've asked Nat to be my best man. She's the one who really helped bring us together.", he chuckled.

You smiled at him slightly, still feeling a bit sad about what he had said.

He shook his head quickly, "I'm sorry. Didn't mean to ruin something that's supposed to be happy. Let's get back to it."

"Honey,", you started, "You don't ever have to be sorry about telling me how you feel." You took his hand on the table, interlacing your fingers with his, turning your body towards him more, hooking your other hand over his bicep.

Pepper thought the two of you could use a little privacy, so she excused herself, "I'm gonna use the restroom." She flashed you a smile, which you returned as she got up to leave.

His face was a bit pained, "I just don't want to upset you, (Y/N). This is supposed to be a joyful time for us..."

You started to tear up a little. His guilt over being himself with you, being open with you... that's what upset you. You sighed heavily.

His face twisted slightly as he put his forehead to yours, his hand covering yours on his bicep as he whispered, "Don't. Please don't cry, baby."

He pulled back enough to look into your eyes as you started to speak quietly, "You not telling me how you feel and letting me help you through it; that's what would upset me. Sure, either of us missing Seb will always be sad. But you not being open to me with everything... that would be heartbreaking. I'm here for you, Chris. Just like you've been there for me so much throughout our entire friendship, especially when Seb passed... and now. Please don't be afraid to let me help you too."

His brows pulled up in the center as a tear rolled down your cheek. He sighed at the sight, "Baby..."

It occured to you that he might also fear that he would appear weak to you if he couldn't deal with his feelings on his own. You knew he wanted to be strong for you, to be your protector and champion... your hero. You continued, "You will not be less in my eyes for it, honey. You're my hero, remember? That's never gonna change."

That got a loving smile from him.

You mirrored his expression, "I'm gonna be your wife. Don't hide from me, please. _That_ would upset me."

He sighed heavily, cupping your jaw and wiping the tear trail from your cheek with his thumb, "Oh, sweetheart... How did I get so lucky to have you?" He kissed your lips softly.

"You didn't... you worked fucking hard to get me.", you both chuckled.

"That I did.", he smiled.

You both started talking about the ideas you had shared and Pepper returned a moment later.

You all finished eating and talking. Before you parted ways, you had talked out eveything else and handed the wedding planning over to her completely. She asked you to call her with a guest list and addresses as soon as possible to send out invitations and to contact her if you had any additional details, changes or questions.

Since she was your planner and friend you had also invited her to go dress shopping. She mentioned, without giving details in front of Chris, that there are ways to shop for a dress early without being worried about it still fitting your belly on the wedding day. She also recommended pushing the wedding to three months from then instead of two, to give her ample time to plan. You would be five months pregnant then. You and Chris agreed to her suggestion.

Four weeks later, you were 13 weeks along and starting to show; the cutest little bump poking out. Chris continued to talk to the baby, loving on your belly and fawning over you as much as he could. He always remembered to give the little one a pep talk each morning to have a great day.

One morning, about an hour before you had to get up for work, you got up to pee, sliding out from under Chris's arm. You padded into the bathroom in the dark, did your business and headed back to the bed.

You had just reached the foot of the bed when a strong wave of nausea hit you, your mouth watering quickly as you ran back to the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet to kneel, before hurling with a groan.

Your running footsteps had startled Chris awake. Within only a second or two, he noticed you weren't in the bed and heard your distressed noise. Disoriented by the fog of sleep, he didn't put together what might be happening yet. In a panic, he jumped out of the bed, dashing out of the room, hearing another groan from you.

"(Y/N)?!", he called out, then realizing where you were as you coughed, spitting into the toilet.

"In the bathroom.", you whimpered out, spitting again as he switched on the light.

He crouched next to you, "Aw, baby." He rubbed your back gently and brushed stray hairs that had escaped your ponytail off your sweaty temple with his fingertips as you panted. "Are you okay?"

You nodded, speaking weakly, "Yeah."

"I'll get you some water to rinse." He stood and turned to go fill the cup at the bathroom sink. He only took one step before you hurled again. He rushed back to your side, bent over you, gripping your shoulders gently as you clutched the seat and heaved once more, ridding your stomach of the last of its contents.

"Jesus, baby.", he said sympathetically.

You let out another small whimper, tears in your eyes from the straining. "I fucking hate throwing up." You spit again and shuddered.

He waited a long moment before asking, "You got anymore?"

You shook your head, "No."

He went to the sink and brought you the cup of water. You swished the water in your mouth, gargled and spit it in the toilet. You handed him the cup, "Thank you, honey."

He set it on the toilet tank as you flushed and started to stand, him helping you, his hands staying on your arms. You took some toilet paper off the roll and wiped your mouth and tossed it in waste basket nearby, shivering. You had been sweating and now the moisture was cooling you more than was comfortable.

Seeing your shiver, he grabbed a wash cloth from the stack of them on the shelf over the toilet and started wiping the sweat from your neck and temple, one hand still on your arm.

You took the cloth from his hand gently and continued wiping, "Thank you, love."

He pulled you against him, stroking your arm, "You okay now, little mama?"

You swallowed thickly, the burning still present in your throat. "Yeah.", you croaked out, resting your head against his chest, his warmth quickly chasing the cold from your body.

He kissed your head, "I thought you were past the morning sickness stage.", he cooed.

"I guess not.", you chuckled weakly. "I'll call my OB today and ask."

"You wanna call in sick to work?"

"Chris, the world isn't going stop turning because I'm pregnant.", you chortled.

"You know, you don't have to work. My secret's out; I'm loaded.", he laughed softly.

You huffed out a chuckle, "Maybe after the baby's born."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [The rings.](http://blingblingdeal.com/products/1pcs-free-engraving-purple-titanium-rings-sets-love-token-couple-wedding-rings-titanium-ring-couples-rings-wedding-ring-promise-ring-ecg-ring-wedding-band-his-and-her-wedding-ring-sets)
> 
> I haven't seen many comments as of late... Are you guys still out there reading? If you think this has become uninteresting, please let me know. I would be more than happy to up the conflict and friction if needed. I just know that you guys deserve all the sunshine and rainbows I can give you after taking our Sebby away.
> 
> Let me know what you think!
> 
> Love you guys!
> 
> XOXO


	75. Getting There

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will fix mistakes tomorrow.
> 
>   **Note for you and me: Pregnancy is at 14 weeks.**
> 
> REFRESHER:
> 
> He kissed your head, "I thought you were past the morning sickness stage.", he cooed.
> 
> "I guess not.", you chuckled weakly. "I'll call my OB today and ask."
> 
> "You wanna call in sick to work?"
> 
> "Chris, the world isn't going stop turning because I'm pregnant.", you chortled.
> 
> "You know, you don't have to work. My secret's out; I'm loaded.", he laughed softly.
> 
> You huffed out a chuckle, "Maybe after the baby's born."

You had checked with your Obstetrician about the vomiting.  She said it's possible to start later for some.  She wasn't worried since all your exams were going perfectly.  Luckily, you didn't have to deal with it more than once or twice a week.

A week later you, Nat, Pepper, Jane and Maria all went dress and shoe shopping for you and Nat. Nat was first.

Pepper had brought fabric samples of different materials and shades of yellow. She held out the ring of cards with fabric pieces attached, "So, what shade of yellow do you want? I'll take the guys to get their tuxes and ties to match another day after you've decided."

You thumbed through them and settled on a soft, pale butter yellow, "This one." You pointed.

"I like that. It's very pretty.", Nat added.

The attendant in the shop asked Nat her size and left to bring back thre dresses; one above the knee, one tea length and one floor length.

She tried on the shortest one first and stepped out of the dressing room. The skirt was rediculously poofy. You sneered disapprovingly. She knitted her eyebrows in agreement, nodding, "I feel like one of those Barbie cakes with the doll stuck into it."

You and the girls giggled, then you said, "Yeah. No. Not it. But, Nat, you look so good in yellow. It really compliments your hair color."

"Thank you.", she beamed. "But nobody's gonna be looking at me, honey.", she winked. "Well, except Bruce... at least he better be."

You chuckled, "You know he will."

You didn't like the tea length one either; a little too country club for you.

When she stepped out in the third dress, grinning. You gasped, your hands up, "Yes!"

It was sleeveless. The soft chiffon fabric gathered from the shoulder seams and down, crossing over the chest, leaving just her shoulders exposed. There was another criss cross at the waist that was more compressed in size. The skirt of it had narrow, soft pleating just in front and the material draped gently.

You were up next. Pepper told the attendant that you were pregnant and would be just over five months on the wedding day so you needed room to grow. You told the lady your size and she came back with three dresses, all empire waisted, with lots of room in the belly.

The attendant helped you in the dressing room with the zipper. You stepped out of the dressing room looking less than amused. It had a light and loose hanging chiffon skirt with a lace, sweetheart neckline and cap sleeves. "This one feels like a nightgown.", you chuckled.

"I was just gonna say that.", Maria giggled.

The next was strapless with similar details to Nat's at the bust. The skirt was made of fluffy tulle with vines of small white flowers sewn randomly across it.

Nat laughed, "Now _you_ look like a Barbie cake."

Everyone chuckled and agreed, then Jane added, "And we wouldn't see your cute baby bump very well."

You went back in for the last one. When you got it on and looked in the mirror, you eyes blinked in a flutter. This was the one.

You stepped out grinning ear to ear and everyone gasped. They were all clamoring quietly with enthusiastic compliments.

It was strapless, a sweetheart bustline trimmed with tightly gathered chiffon strips that twisted once between the breasts and continues underneath them towards the back. The bust had white and soft gold embroidery over it and also trimming the chiffon gathers. The skirt was lined underneath with white satin gathered at the belly. That was covered with softly gathered chiffon which was split in the front and cut on the diagonal to let it open slightly, the edges surged to make a wavy drape where it hung open. It was breathtaking.

Nat rushed you hug you, tearing up, "You look so beautiful, (Y/N)." She pulled back to look you over once more. "He's gonna cry." Then she chuckled, "And probably make you late for the reception 'cause he's gonna wanna sneak you off for a romp in a closet once you both say 'I do'."

You chuckled, tearing up a little yourself as all the other girls laughed at Nat's comment as well.

You all then went to lunch and a movie.

When Nat dropped you off, she pulled up along the curb and stopped at the end of the driveway. You hugged her, said goodbye and got out. As she drove off, you heard a loud whirring racket coming from up the driveway. You could see around your cars in the driveway that the garage door was open.

You walked back to find a large pile of two by fours in the garage and Chris wearing a black tank top, faded jeans, boots and safety glasses, cutting wood on an electric table saw. God, he was such a beautiful piece of work... And soon he was going to be your husband. Your heart fluttered.

When he finished cutting that piece, he switched off the saw and went to put what he had cut in another pile, he spotted you just inside the garage and smiled. "Hey, beautiful. How'd it go?" He took of the glasses, setting them on the table and went to you as you answered.

"Good. Really good. I'm so excited!", you beamed.

He put a light hand on the small of your back and gave you a quick kiss, trying not to touch you too much being that he was covered in saw dust. "That's what I like to hear.", he smiled. "And how's our baby bean?" He put a hand on your belly and bent down to kiss it.

You put a hand over his, "Fanstatic."

He straightened, "How you feeling, mama?"

"Really good."

"Perfect.", he kissed you again.

You brows furrowed in amusement. "What are you doing?", you chortled.

"Here, I'll show you.", he guided you out of the garage and around to the side of it where it met the yard. There sat a good sized, retangular bottomless box, a few inches from the outer wall. "Raised garden boxes." You smiled softly while he pointed along the length of the garage and down the high wood fence on the other side of the yard as he spoke, "I'm gonna put them here and down that whole side." Your smiled widened.

You had started tending to a few tomato plants in pots on the deck early on in the summer and had mentioned to him that you might like to have a garden someday.

He put his hands on his hips and continued, "We don't have a big enough yard for a garden plot, so figured this would give you a good amount of space while still keeping the yard usable." He looked to the box again and then back to you, "I'll fill these nearly full with soil and they'll be high enough that you don't have to bend over too far to work." He beamed proudly.

You started to tear up, "Thank you so much, honey. This is so sweet."

"Sweetheart," he wanted to hug you, but he'd get tiny, itchy pieces of wood all over you, so he stroked your arm instead. "You're killing me with the crying.", he chuckled softly, his face sympathetic.

You sniffed, "I'm sorry. But at least it's happy crying. You're just so unbelievably good to me... And pregnancy hormones. Blech.", you laughed weakly.

"I know, baby. It's just hard to see you cry." He dipped his head, "I'll work on being okay with the happy crying. Alright?"

You nodded, "Okay. How did you get all that wood here? And when did you get a table saw?", you chortled.

"Clint brought his over and let me borrow it. He also came with me to pick up the wood in his truck."

"Good deal.", you pulled down the corners of your mouth and nodded. "I'll let you get back to work, love. What do you want for dinner?"

"Nah, I'm done for today. I want a shower and to hold my babies. What do you want for dinner? Wanna go get sushi tonight? Not having to cook will give us some cuddle time before we have to go.", he titled his head expectantly.

"Mmm, yes.", you grinned.

"Alright. Let me clean up a little in the garage and get my ass in the shower. I'll see you inside, baby girl.", he kissed you once more and went to the garage as you headed into the house.

Once you had gone in, you peed, of course, grabbed yourself a water and a chocolate chip cookie out of the bag in the cupboard. Okay, maybe it was two cookies. Four! It was four.

You leaned your back against the counter and gazed out the back windows of the sunroom at all the green in the yard. It always made you smile, but now you smiled thinking about what Chris was doing for you. He was amazing; ridiculously thoughtful. It made you feel so loved.

As you took your time savoring your cookies, you thought of what you might like to plant. Definitely zucchini; you loved zucchini and it made such good bread- Ooh! Zucchini bread with chocolate chips. Mmmmm. Chocolate chips. Maybe some pumpkins? Sugar snap peas... Yes. Some lettuce and spinach too... And bell peppers.

Chris sauntered in and jogged up the two steps from the sunroom, scratching the back of his neck, "God. So itchy." He scrunched his face up.

"Honey, don't scratch.", you ordered through a mouthful of cookie. "You'll drive all those wood particles into your skin and then it'll be really irritated."

He wrinkled up his forehead at you as he rounded the island, "Someone's been caught with their hand in the cookie jar." He kissed your forehead and winked. You handed him your unopened water. "Oh, thanks, sweetness." He cracked it open and started taking a long drink.

" _You_ bought them for me, dork." You took another big bite, scrunching your nose, narrowing your eyes and shaking your head in short jerks, defiantly.

He chuckled, "You're so fucking cute." He tapped the tip of your nose with a finger. He started for the bathroom, "Where you wanna cuddle, baby?" He disappeared through the doorway, waiting for you answer before shutting the door.

"Bed!", you called out, muffled from another bite of cookie.

He laughed and came to the doorway, resting his palms on either side of the frame, tilting his head, "Your mouth hasn't been empty since I came in, does it get upset when there's nothing in it?"

"Mm-hm.", you looked at him mischievously.

He smiled lazily, rocking his head to one side and closing his eyes for a beat, "I guess that was a dumb question. Meet you in the bedroom, sexy." He made a kissing motion with his lips and closed the door.

By the time he got out of the shower, you had fallen asleep on your back propped up on pillows on the bed, snoring lightly. You had peeled off your lightweight, mint colored, feathered henley and kicked off your flip flops, leaving you in just a black tank top and your favorite jean capris. The TV was still on, tuned to some obnoxiously colorful drag queen version of America's Next Top Model. He had to stifle a laugh and got into his dresser quietly, then slipping on some burgundy boxer briefs. He tapped off the TV and joined you on the bed, pulling the throw blanket over you both.

When he sidled up to you and put his arm over you, you woke, disoriented, your voice groggy, "Hey, why'd you turn of my show?"

"You were sleeping, sweetheart. We can get a nap before dinner. Go back to sleep.", he kissed your temple and nuzzled it.

"I wasn't sleeping. I was just resting my eyes."

"Well, your eyes were snoring, my love.", he chuckled. "Go back to sleep."

Your rolled over so he could spoon you, "Well, if you insist."

He started to caress your belly softly and you hummed as he asked, "Don't I always?" He kissed the back of your head and you drifted off again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted make this chapter longer and end it differently. But it's past my bedtime. I'll write that idea in the next chapter then.
> 
> Oh! I also just posted the first chapter of my other fic. Check it oir if you so desire.
> 
>  
> 
> [Nat's dress](http://pin.it/bA2SVKR)
> 
>  
> 
>  [Reader's dress](http://pin.it/2B8tdom)


	76. Quickening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Refresher:
> 
> When he sidled up to you and put his arm over you, you woke, disoriented, your voice groggy, "Hey, why'd you turn of my show?"
> 
> "You were sleeping, sweetheart. We can get a nap before dinner. Go back to sleep.", he kissed your temple and nuzzled it.
> 
> "I wasn't sleeping. I was just resting my eyes."
> 
> "Well, your eyes were snoring, my love.", he chuckled. "Go back to sleep."
> 
> Your rolled over so he could spoon you, "Well, if you insist."
> 
> He started to caress your belly softly and you hummed as he asked, "Don't I always?" He kissed the back of your head and you drifted off again.

An hour and a half later, you woke cuddled up to Chris's side as he was on his back now. Your head was on his chest, his cheek resting on the top of your head. He had the arm that was under your neck curled around your shoulders. Your arms were tucked in against your chest, but you had a leg draped over one of his. He was only half covered by the blanket.

You openened your eyes and blinked a few times, taking a slow, deep breath. You smiled a little, not moving and just wanting to stay in Chris's arms a bit longer.

You felt a tapping sensation deep in your belly...

Is that gas? You put your hand on your little bump. No, that felt different that gas, didn't it? You waited to see if it would happen again...

_TAP, tap._

That one was stronger. Your eyes widened. You patted Chris's chest twice gently, but urgently, "Chris."

He mumbled out a couple syllables, but didn't wake.

_Flutter... tap._

You spoke louder and gripped his jaw with one hand, turning his face to yours, "Chris, I think the baby's moving."

Your actions woke him, his eyes fluttering open gently, then widening once he realized what you had said. He sat up quickly and shifted so he could sit on his heels next to you as you rolled to you back. He bent over placed both his hands on your belly and laid his cheek against it as well, his face bright with anticipation looking up at you. You placed a hand on his shoulder as you beamed down at him. He waited patiently, his eyes now traveling around.

_TAP._

"Oh!", you squeaked. "That feels sooo weird.", you giggled.

His brows furrowed, "I can't feel anything." He frowned slightly, but still waited.

You felt another tap, but said nothing. Chris didn't indicate he had felt anything that time either.

"Is the baby still moving?", he asked.

You nodded, trying not to tear up at him missing out on sharing this amazing experience with you.

He sat up and sighed heavily.

"Honey.", you put your hand over his own resting on his thigh. "The baby's still pretty tiny. I'm sure you'll feel it kick in another month or two.

He sneered playfully, then whined, slouching and lolling his head, "That's too looooong." He then threw himself back against the pillows, flopping down, bouncing the matress a bit. You huffed out a laugh and he carried on, "Waiting, waiting, waiting. I'm always waiting for things with you."

Your gaze went downward, toward your body. That hurt. You felt guilty. You were actually starting to tear up now.

He smiled slightly and turned his head to see you with tears in your eyes, one rolling down your temple as you bit your lip and his face fell immediately, realizing how that must've sounded to you. He got up on an elbow quickly to look down at you, "Oh, baby girl. I didn't mean it like that." He stroked your arm resting on your ribs and you looked at him as he continued, "I just meant that I love you so much that waiting is hard for me, especially when I'm so excited... And I've been excited about everything since I got to be with you." He kissed your forehead gently, pulling back again, "I'm so sorry, little love. Do you forgive me?"

You sighed, your face softening. You nodded, "I do." You giggled.

He smiled softly, "And I can't wait to hear you say that in front of all our loved ones." He leaned over and nuzzled your nose. "I love you more than you realize, (Y/N). And I don't blame you _at all_ for all the bumps we had to go through to get here. I'd put myself through it all over again, as many times as needed... As long as I got to be with you in the end. Well, and probably even if I didn't get to be with you... Because I love you enough to be there for you no matter what. I'm just so glad I get to be with you now... And always." He kissed your lips softly, you smiling up at him. He started again, "Now, Let's go get fish faced. I'm starving."

You chortled, "Are you ever gonna stop making that joke?"

He rolled to his back, taking you with him to be on top of him, "Nope." He sat up and scooted to the edge of the bed with you on his lap as he kissed you again before standing, holding you wrapped around him while he headed out of the room, "It's gonna be the first in the collection of awful Dad jokes that I need to build up before the baby's born."

The next morning, after breakfast, you both went to Shirley's to visit. You had visited her since you told Chris you were pregnant and told her the news of that and being engaged. She was thrilled of course.

Once you were all seated in the living room she started, "I'm so excited for you both! I hope it doesn't bother either of you for me to say this. But, I kinda feel like I'm getting another grandchild; you kids mean so much to me now."

Chris brows pulled up in the center, "Aww. Thank you, Shirley. We'd be happy to have you as an honorary Grandma."

You nodded at Chris, smiling, then addressed Shirley, "Absolutely!" Your brows furrowed, "Shirley?..."

"Yes, sugar?", she smiled.

"Did you know I was pregnant before we told you? We know you have a way of knowing everything."

She grinned, "Baby, I knew before you even knew."

Chris asked her, "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Not my place, dear.", she smiled.

The next Saturday Nat and Pepper threw you a bridal shower which was just all the girls going to lunch and then going back to Tony and Pepper's for cake and gift opening. Shirley had shown up for gifts.

Everyone gave the usual household stuff... Then you opened Nat's. You opened the flat box and found something white and lacy. Your eyes widened as you pulled it out and upward, "Oh my God, Nat."

She nodded. "Don't you love it?! You can wear it on your wedding night!", she beamed.

It was a lingerie top with a satin pushup bra covered in lace. Under the bra, it extended downward with more lace over sheer fabric that was split in the center. The split and bottom hem were trimmed in tiny ruffles. A satin and lace thong hung on a tiny hanger at the back of the top garment.

"Wow, Nat.", you blushed. "My belly and my ass are gonna hang out in this..."

You turned it to look it over as Shirley spoke up, "He's gonna love it! Nothing turns a guy on more than hiked up boobies, ass cheeks and confirmation of his verility in the form of your pregnant belly!"

There were chuckles all around and Nat nearly shouted at Shirley, who was sitting next to her, "Shirley, you're my new best friend!" She hugged her tight.

You protested, "Hey!"

"Okay, okay, we can be twins.", she winked at you and then smiled.

"We could totally be twins.", Shirley replied. "I'm the cute one, though."

Nat scoffed, then smiled at you, "I love her!"

Four weeks later, you and Chris went to get a 18 week ultrasound and see if the gender of the baby could be determined yet. Normally, one would wait until 20 weeks, but Chris was impatient... And as he has stated, he's "loaded", so the cost didn't matter to him, even if they couldn't tell what the baby was just for you to come back in two more weeks to do it again. Though, you were getting married in two weeks and you both hoped to know before then. You humored his impatience also because he was already being a wonderfully attentive father and soon to be husband. He took care of you and the baby so well; emotionally and physically.

Chris drove to the OB's office downtown and pulled the car into a space in the parking structure near the building. When he turned off the car, he sighed heavily and looked at you, squeezing your hand, "You ready for this, sweetness?"

You chuckled, "Are you?"

He pressed his lips together and nodded, "Yeah." He grinned and let go of your hand to rub your bump affectionately as he looked down at it, "Okay, baby bean, let's go see if we can tell that you're a boy yet."

You laughed, "You're incorrigible."

"Hey, if I wish for it enough it might come true.", he stroked your cheek with a closed hand. "It did with you."

Your stomach fluttered as he leaned over and kissed you. When he pulled back, you smiled brightly at him.

He opened his door and stuck a leg out as you spoke, "Chris?"

He turned back to you and raised his eyebrows expectantly.

"If it is a girl, will you still be just as happy?", you asked a little concerned.

He blinked slowly at you as he took your hand, interlacing your fingers with his, "I think a girl would be more challenging for me, but I'd be just as happy. Baby, I'd love a little you running around." He kissed the back of your hand still in his. "Now, let's go see our boy." He turned to get out of the car and you laughed and rolled your eyes.

He helped you out of the car and you both headed in. You filled out the required paperwork and waited.

One mother got finished a few minutes after you came in and then another was in the ultrasound room ahead of you.

They told you to come in with a full bladder so they could see through it to your uterus and you already felt like you were going to explode. And it didn't help that Chris was so antsy that he was bouncing his knee rapidly and rubbing his palms up and down on his thighs anxiously. You were biting both of your lips into your mouth and taking deep breaths to try to deal with your discomfort and the annoyance you felt at his actions.

You eventually just reached over and pressed a hand to his leg to ask him to halt his bouncing leg, giving him a tight lipped half smile.

"Sorry.", he said, "You okay, sweetheart?"

You took another breath. "I really need to piss.", you muttered under your breath.

"Anything I can do?"

You're discomfort was making you a bit irritable. "Yeah, sure. You can carry the baby and want to pee yourself.", you said sarcastically.

He cocked an eyebrow at you and pursed his lips, coolly. He said nothing, there was no hurt, anger, contempt, but his face said that he didn't appreciate you speaking to him that way.

You sighed again, but in regret this time, "I'm sorry, honey."

"It's alright. Would standing help?"

"Actually, when I'm laying in bed, tucking my knees up helps."

He nodded, pulled the corners of his mouth down and shrugged lightheartedly, "I say do it."

You wrinkled your forehead up, "That would look silly."

"You wanna look silly or pee your pants?", he countered.

"Valid rebuttal, darling."

He just chuckled and nodded.

You pulled your feet and knees up as best as you could despite your belly and the small space of your chair seat. It wasn't working so well, so you lifted your butt and scooted your feet back to squat on the chair.

"Baby, you're making me nervous.", Chris grabbed your hand to steady you. "I don't want you to fall. C'mere.", he hitched his head in his direction.

You stood as he held your hand. He then pulled you down onto his lap, turned you, lifted your legs by lifting at the back of your knees, his arm settling around your back. "Put your feet on the chair arm.", he commanded.

You started doing so as another mother looking about as far along as you came into the empty waiting room, less you and Chris. Her face was surprised, then confused.

You grinned hesitantly, shrugging, "I really gotta pee and this helps."

She nodded deeply, "Oh. Yeah, I get it."

Thank God most people there would understand your strange behavior.

Just then the ultrasound room opened and the lady called your name. Yours and Chris faces both lit up and he beamed, "Finally! I'm so fucking excited!", he said to you quietly.

He turned you in his lap and you stood as his hands were on your hips. He guided you through the door with a hand at the small of your back, he then helped you onto the table.

The technician asked, "So, what are you hoping for?" She pulled your shirt up off your stomach as you laid back and Chris took a seat in the chair next to the table, holding your hand. He was smiling so big, you thought his face might break.

You replied, "I'd be happy with either, but he's hoping for a boy." You looked towards Chris.

He was smiling, but spoke to you right after your finished with your thought, "Baby, I'd be really happy with either too." He gave your hand a little squeeze.

You had done this once before, so you knew the procedure. Though, you didn't have to pee quite so bad last time, as there was no baby pressing on your bladder. You also had only seen an embryo.

She squirted the lubricant on your belly; thank God they warm it. She started moving the transducer wand around on your stomach, you both staring at the screen expectantly... And there it was; your baby. It looked a little strange as black and white lines and what looked like visual static, making up a two dimensional image. But that didn't make it any less a wonder to behold.

"There we go. There's your baby.", the technician smiled. It looked like a little, teeny, tiny, complete person; a product of the love between you and Chris.

Your free hand went to your mouth as you started to tear up a little. Chris squeezed your hand, you looked at him, dropping the hand from your mouth and he was staring at the screen in awe, his brows pulled up in the center, tears quickly filling his eyes. He glanced at you for a moment and hitched half his closed mouth up in a small smile, his chest heaving with a deep breath. He looked back at the screen as the technician spoke again.

"Okay, let's see if we can tell what you're gonna have here...", she moved the wand around again, then stopped. "Okay, right here is what we're looking at.", she highlighted the area with the computer mouse. "Congratulations; it's a boy.", she smiled.

Chris stood quickly, shoving his fists in the air and shouting, "YES!" You and the technician both laughed and he leaned over you, taking your face in his hands and kissing you, "I love you so much, baby."

"I love you, honey."

He kissed you once more and put his forehead to yours as one of your hands went to the back of his neck, the other splayed on his bicep.

You were both tearing up now, eyes closed as he whispered, "Our son."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment; let me know what you think!
> 
> Much love!  
> XOXO


	77. Heightened

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> "Okay, let's see if we can tell what you're gonna have here...", she moved the wand around again, then stopped. "Okay, right here is what we're looking at.", she highlighted the area with the computer mouse. "Congratulations; it's a boy.", she smiled.
> 
> Chris stood quickly, shoving his fists in the air and shouting, "YES!" You and the technician both laughed and he leaned over you, taking your face in his hands and kissing you, "I love you so much, baby."
> 
> "I love you, honey."
> 
> He kissed you once more and put his forehead to yours as one of your hands went to the back of his neck, the other splayed on his bicep.
> 
> You were both tearing up now, eyes closed as he whispered, "Our son."

Another week passed, leaving only one week until the wedding. You were getting excited... And nervous, hoping that everything would go well. You trusted Pepper to make your wedding everything you wanted; which actually wasn't too strict of an idea. Once you had given her your basic vision, you were fine with whatever she might do with that. You weren't really worried about all the tiny details anyway. She had shown you her progress as she went and you were really loving what she was doing. Though, there was always that fear that something would go wrong.

You also seemed to have made it past all the morning sickness, thank God. You woke up that Saturday morning after a very intimate night of lovemaking... Early night, of course. Chris insisted you get plenty of sleep. He worshiped you and your body anytime you had sex, even before knowing about the pregnancy. But he was extremely tender and attentive now; as you were the vessel of the life that represented the love between you both. Though, that didn't stop him from giving you a good fucking when you needed it.

You were wrapped snugly in his arms when you woke, his fuzzy chin resting against your forehead. You titled your head slightly and kissed his neck softly, then nuzzled it with your nose.

He hummed and kissed your forehead, his voice gravelly, "Mmm, morning, baby girl." He held you a little tighter in his strong arms. His hand traveled downward and gave your ass a squeeze. "You need my services again, love?", he joked, referring to your gentle kiss on his neck. "I'm more than happy to do that as many times as you need."

Your sex drive had gradually increased and everything was more intense and sensitive for you now... And he had absolutely no complaints.

You chuckled, "I'll give you a break, big guy. You work too hard for me."

"Most satisfying work I've ever done.", he kissed your forehead again.

You smiled, "Thank you very much. You want breakfast?" You started to roll out of his arms and he loosened his grip on you.

As you got out of bed, so did he, pulling on his boxer briefs and track pants, "I'll go grab something, sweetheart. Whadda ya want?"

You pulled on your underwear and your long, snug, coral colored tank dress, pulling it down over your rounded belly while wiggling back and forth, "Oooh. I would love an egg and sausage croissant sandwich."

You paused in thought as he rounded the bed and came to you, took you in his arms and kissed your lips, "You got it, beautiful." He grinned at you.

"We should go to the gym today... Or for a run. I haven't worked out in 5 days."

"Ah, no. We can go for a walk. I dunno if I'm comfortable with you running or working out anymore until the baby's born."

Your brows furrowed, "What? Why?"

"I don't want you hurting anything, baby. And wouldn't running as your belly grows bigger be too bouncy?"

You hadn't thought it possible, but he had slowly grown more and more protective of you over the course of your pregnancy. He didn't even like you going up or down the stairs without him, let alone carrying a basket of laundry while you did. He scolded you anytime you didn't come ask for his help with such things. You did your best to assure him that you were fine.

"Chris... Plenty of women work out AND run right up until they give birth. Plus, I've done well keeping my ab muscles tight, there wouldn't be too much bouncing. I do need a support belt soon though."

He furrowed his brows at you. He didn't look convinced.

"Okay, I have my next appointment in two days. I'll do walking only until then and you can ask the OB about me running and exercising yourself then. Deal?", you asked.

He nodded, "Okay. Sounds good." He crouched down and put his hands on either side of your belly to talk to the baby as was the morning ritual. "Morning, little man. You have a great day with Mama. Daddy loves you." He nuzzled your belly and the baby moved, making you chuckle. Then immediately after that, it kicked, jolting you so slightly and getting Chris in the hand.

His eyes got wide as he looked at your belly, up to you and then back, his face beaming. "Oh my God. I felt him." He laughed softly, grinning up at you once more. You smiled back as he placed his cheek on your stomach and spoke again while you rested your hand lightly at the back of his head, "I feel you in there."

The baby kicked once more, getting him in the hand again and Chris pulled back, just to see the tiniest little lump glide across underneath the fabric of your dress.

His eyebrows popped up, "Holy... Wow. That's so amazing.", he chuckled softly, starting to tear up slightly.

"He knows your voice, honey.", you rubbed his upper back gently as you teared up yourself.

He choked back a sob at your words, his eyes flitting to yours and then back to your bump, "This is so awesome.", he blinked quickly, not wanting to miss anything.

He stayed there and waited a few more moments. When it appeared that the show was over, he nuzzled your belly once more and spoke softly, "I love you, baby boy." He kissed your stomach and stood, wiping at his eyes. "And I love you, little mama..." You smiled and wrapped your arms around his waist while he wrapped his arms around your ribs, over your arms and nuzzled the side of your head, close to your ear, "...so much. I can't believe how happy I am with our little family. You're so amazing, sweetheart."

He kissed your head and then just held you firmly against himself for a long moment, closing his eyes and getting lost in his happiness and his thoughts, _'I can't believe that less than a year ago I was dying just to be near her and now she's carrying my baby; our son. She's going to be my wife in a week. I'm so lucky. This is unreal. If this is a dream, I don't ever wanna wake up.'_

Then the baby kicked him in the crotch, feeling like the tiniest tap to Chris. "Okay, that was a bizarre experience.", he chortled. "And he's already fighting dirty." You laughed and he pulled back just enough to point at your belly, "Listen here, mister. Don't get jealous. She was mine first." He then gave the baby a loving little rub and took you in his arms again as you chuckled.

When he got back with breakfast, you were out back tending to your vegetable plants that Chris had bought you; it was too late in the summer to plant seeds. You were snipping off the newly sprouted branches on the plants so they wouldn't steal sun and water from the established ones.

When he reached the kitchen, he spotted you through the sunroom windows and watched you for a moment. He was so pleased that you were finding joy in his gift to you. He wanted to give you the world and would continue to do so to the best of his ability. _'God, she's so beautiful. How did I get so lucky to be so happy?'_ Your voice echoed in his head, _'You didn't.... you worked fucking hard to get me.'_ He smiled to himself.

Two days later, you and Chris went to your appointment to make sure everything was still going well. You passed with flying colors. Once the doctor asked if you had any questions. You spoke up, "Yes. He has a question." You tilted your head towards Chris.

He scooted forward in his seat and sat up, "Okay, so. Can she still go running and work out?"

The doctor smiled, "Yes, of course. She may need a support belt, but the pregnancy is going perfectly, she's in good shape and as long as that's how it continues, she can exercise up until she delivers. It won't harm her or the baby at all. In fact, I encourage it."

You smiled slightly at him and he spoke to her again, his voice turning slightly shrill as his question came out, "But... Won't it just... Fall out?!" He shoved his hands out and forward, his forehead wrinkled up in concern.

You and the doctor chuckled. She smiled softly at him, "No. I can't fall out. Not until she's already crowned... During delivery. It's all pretty tight up in there."

He quirked an eyebrow, grinning and before he could stop himself, he blurted out, "It sure is." He immediately pressed his lips together. "Shit, sorry. That was inappropriate."

The doctor howled with laughter, "Don't be sorry. It's important to have a healthy sex life during pregnancy. It strengthens the bond between all of you."

You and Chris chuckled as he smiled and said, "Okay."

She continued, "If you have any questions about that too, just let me know." She smiled once more, "Okay, you kids are set. We'll see you in a few weeks for your next check up."

You returned her expression, "Thank you."

You headed out to the car in the dim parking garage, hand in hand. He opened your door and you leaned in to move your seat forward.

"What are you doing?", he asked, confused.

You straightened, turned, bit your lip and your mouth crashed into his, you gripping the front of his shirt with both your hands. You kissed him hungrily, "I wanna bond with you... Now."

He hunched over you, grabbing your ass as he kissed you back, just as urgently, "Don't have to tell me twice. Get in, baby."

You climbed in the back seat, him following behind you and shutting the door. Once he sat back, you straddled him, pulling up your dress just enough and settling on his lap. He grabbed your face in his hands, kissing you fervently as you moaned, undoing his jeans quickly, his hardness already straining underneath.

He reached down to rub you through your panties and groaned, "Jesus, baby, you're already soaked."

You gasped and bit his neck and he gasped as you spoke softly, panting, "I've been thinking about it since we left the exam room."

"God, I love your enthusiasm." He pulled your panties aside, biting his lip and watching your face as he slid a finger into you easily. He started moving it in and out quickly.

Your head fell against his shoulder and you let out a whimper into his neck. "Oh. My God."

He removed his finger and pulled himself out of his pants and rubbed the head of his cock against your slick entrance, his voice low, "Fuck me good, baby girl."

You wasted no time lowering all that way down on him and rolling your hips up and down, your pace fast and hard, already mewling into his neck, gripping it tightly.

He grunted and nearly shouted, "Shit!" He gripped your hips tightly, bucking his own against you, "Yes, so God damn wet and tight." He squeezed his eyes shut, his own gasps and moans escaping his lips into your hair.

You kissed him hard, moaning against his mouth, "You're so big, baby. You feel so fucking good."

He growled at your words and took over, thrusting up into you relentlessly, "Ah, God, I'm already there. Come for me, honey. I can't-" His statement was interrupted by his own moans as he started rubbing your clit with his thumb.

You squeaked loudly and he urged you on, panting, "Do it, sweetheart, come all over me. Do it. Do it."

You gripped his neck tighter, your passage swelling rapidly. You cried out, throwing your head back as you came hard, "Ahhh! Chris!"

He gripped your hips again, thrusting as fast as he could and he was right behind you. He shouted, his face twisted, "Fuuuuuuuuck!!!"

You fell against him in a heap as you came down, your face in his neck, panting vocally.

"Oh, shit.", his own breath was labored. "We have an audience."

You looked to where his head was turned and a few empty parking spaces away was another expecting couple staring, standing at the back of their car.

Chris gave a sharp nod to them and the guy hurried his lady into the car.

"Oh my God.", your face fell against his neck again. "How embarrassing."

He kissed your head, "Ah, who gives a shit. Let's get out of here, before they report us."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment!
> 
> Much love, thanks for reading!
> 
> XOXO


	78. The Big Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> "Oh, shit.", his own breath was labored. "We have an audience."
> 
> You looked to where his head was turned and a few empty parking spaces away was another expecting couple staring, standing at the back of their car.
> 
> Chris gave a sharp nod to them and the guy hurried his lady into the car.
> 
> "Oh my God.", your face fell against his neck again. "How embarrassing."
> 
> He kissed your head, "Ah, who gives a shit. Let's get out of here, before they report us."

**Song: Boom Clap by Lennon & Maisy**

The next week went quickly. You had no idea where the time had gone. You were now 20 weeks along and definitely showing. You had also asked Tony to walk you down the aisle and he accepted, feeling very honored. He was, after all, kind of the boisterous father of the group. He had always made sure everyone was taken care of.

You and Chris spent the night before your wedding together. You arrived at the venue the afternoon of the wedding and only parted after Pepper had shown you both all the work she had done.

She had picked a beautiful reception center sitting in an open expanse of bright green grass, along with beautifully hanging, mature willow trees and flower gardens that spotted the property.

The ceremony would be held just outside the building under a large tree and rustic wood pergola draped with flowing, sheer white fabric, sunflowers and small wildflowers. There were rows of simple white chairs on either side of an aisle. You would be coming out the door to the side and behind the back of row of chairs.

The interior of the reception building was bright and airy, large windows. Tables with white table cloths and centerpiece of miniature log pieces gathered around tin flower pots holding large arrangements of sunflowers and wild flowers surrounded by small glasses with candles. The chairs were also rustic, polished and varnished wood, donning bows of pale yellow, the tails of the bows hanging nearly to the floor. The tables were spotted around the perimeter of the room. The empty center would serve as a dance floor. There was a stage for a band at the front and a full bar off to one side.

The cake was a simple white, round, four tiered cake with an arrangement of flowers on top that mirrored the centerpieces. It sat atop a large log base.

The ceremony would take place just before dusk, so the reception could be during the evening for dinner, utilizing the beautiful strings of white lights hanging from the ceiling and walls amongst the canopy and curtains of more billowy, sheer white fabric and to add an intimate feel once the sun had gone down.

Chris walked you to your dressing room along with Pepper, who went inside to start getting things in order to start helping you get ready. Nat, Jane and Maria would be there soon to get ready and to help as you as well. Even though Nat was the only lady in your wedding, you wanted them all there.

Chris looked down at you lovingly. You were already trembling anxiously as he took you in his arms, "You okay, sweetheart? You're shaking."

You looked up at him taking a deep breath and nodding, "Yeah. I'm just nervous and really excited.", you chuckled quietly.

He smiled, "Don't be nervous, little love. Nat will be with you until you come out, and when you do, just look at me and know how much I love you. Everything's gonna be fine, okay?"

"Okay.", you replied quietly.

He put his curled finger under your chin, placing his forehead against yours and he spoke softly, "I can't wait to finally be your husband, (Y/N). It's what I've always wanted." You had butterflies as he kissed you gently, deeply.

When he pulled back, you were both smiling. He crouched down, hands on your belly, and said to your bump, "I'm gonna marry your Mama today, little man. You help her get real pretty for me, okay?" The baby kicked and you both chuckled, then he said, "That's my boy." He kissed your stomach and stood, then kissed your lips once more, "See you soon, my baby. I love you."

"I love you, Chris."

He smiled, stoked your cheek with a closed hand and walked away to get ready himself.

You went into the large dressing room, all white furniture and carpet with an extravagant and large vanity and a connected bathroom.

Pepper came to you, two other women standing off the the side, "Okay! Let's get you ready to be married!" She guided you behind an accordion partition to help you get changed into your undergarments and a white satin robe.

Once you tied the robe, you spoke, "Oh my God, Pepper, I'm sweating like a pig already."

She placed her hands on your arms and smiled brightly, "Just breath, okay. It's gonna be great."

From behind the partition you heard Nat enter the room loudly, "I'm here!" You stepped out and she beamed at you, Maria and Jane standing behind her as she spoke again, "Heeeeey, girly! Let's do this!" She hugged you tightly. "I'm so excited for you!" She bent over and hugged your belly, "Hey, little dude. Your mom and dad are getting married! Isn't that great?!" She straightened again, smiling.

"Nat,", you looked at her intensely, taking her hands and already starting to tear up, "Thank you so much for everything you've done. I don't know if I'd be here today if it weren't for you. I love you."

She pressed her lips together, her eyes also welling up and her raspy voice strained, "You're welcome. I love you too." She scoffed, wiping at her eyes, "Geez. We aren't supposed to cry yet. Good thing we aren't wearing makeup yet." You both chuckled. "Now, let's get you married!"

You also greeted and hugged Jane and Maria, both of them rubbing you belly affectionately. Jane asked, "Can I get you anything?"

"Um, a Valium?", you chortled.

"I don't think that's good for the baby and I don't think Chris would appreciate us having to drag you down the aisle.", she giggled.

You sighed heavily, "Right. A water maybe?"

"Of course." She left the room to fetch it.

The two other people that you didn't know were a hairdresser and a makeup artist who both got to work on you as soon as you sat at the vanity.

Once they finished their work, Nat was ready and dressed. Her and Pepper helped you into your dress as Nat noticed you were shaking again and she encouraged you, "Deep breaths, (Y/N). Remember, once you see him, everything is going to feel perfect."

You breathed deeply and nodded, blowing out through pursed lips as they zipped you up. They took you to the full length mirror to see yourself. They beamed behind you and Pepper spoke, "You look so beautiful, (Y/N)."

You smiled and wrapped your arms around your belly, then stroked it softly, speaking quietly, "You ready for this, my sweet boy?" You sighed heavily as there was a knock on the door. Maria cracked the door only enough to check who it was, then she opened it as you turned...

And there was Sebastian's mother.

Your hands went over your mouth and nose as she entered, you teared up quickly and started shaking even more. You let out a quiet sob as she rushed to you, her arms open, tears filling her own eyes as she spoke softly, "Dragă mea." She took you in her arms and hugged you tightly.

Pepper quickly fetched you a tissue, "Your makeup!"

"Oh.", you took it as Gloria released you and you dabbed at your eyes quickly.

The makeup artist added, "We can fix it. Happens all the time."

Everyone chuckled.

You sniffed as Gloria's face brightened and she placed her hands on your belly. "Oh! Look at you! Can't wait to meet this little guy.", she beamed.

You smiled, "I can't wait for you to either."

She then took your face in your hands and cooed, "You look so beautiful, my lovely girl."

"Thank you.", you replied quietly.

Her hands then went to your arms as she continued, looking into your eyes, tears filling her own again, "You made my boy so happy, sweetie... And I know you're going to make my other boy happy now too."

Your face twisted and you titled your head, the tears falling quickly now. You struggled to smile, "I hope so."

"Oh, you will. I have no doubt. You already do." She hugged you again and pulled back, "Now, go knock 'em dead, pretty girl."

You sniffed and nodded, chuckling and dabbing your eyes, "Okay." As Gloria left, you turned around and looked in the mirror, your mascara was running, "Oh, shit.", you muttered. You turned and addressed the makeup artist, "I'm sorry."

"No worries.", she swiped a hand downward dismissively. "It's not so bad. Like I said, we can fix it." She got to work freshening you up.

Once she was finished, you got up, hugged Maria and Jane, then they left to find their seats. Pepper handed you and Nat your bouquets, then led you out the door where Tony was waiting for you.

He beamed at you and hugged you, "You look positively radiant, (Y/N)."

You pulled back and smiled weakly, "Thank you, Tony. And thank you for doing this."

"I'm honored." He paused, noticing your nervousness, "You okay? Can I get you a drink? Little scotch?" He grinned.

You huffed out a chuckle, "No."

"Don't fret, dear. I'm here, okay?"

You nodded, "Okay."

You gave Pepper a hug with her offering words of encouragement again before leaving to find her own seat.

Tony held out his bent arm, "Shall we?"

You took his arm as Nat hooked hers with your other arm and off you headed down the hall.

You all stopped just short of the door to the outside and Nat stepped in front of you and turned. She squeezed your hand as your heart was pounding. She smiled, "You got this girl."

You sighed heavily as the soft music started and you nodded. You were shaking like a leaf as she turned and headed out the door.

"Don't let me fall, Tony.", you said, your voice faltering.

"I promise.", he assured, rubbing your hand. "Chris would kill me." You chuckled weakly as he added, "Here we go." And you both stepped forward.

You heart was thumping so hard you thought it might burst out of your chest as you stepped out the door. You were looking at the ground, breathing shakily through your pursed lips, your whole body trembling.

Your baby kicked as if encouraging you to relax and reminding you that he was there for you. You took another deep breath and looked up to see the standing crowd of people all smiling at you. You rounded the corner of the chairs to start down the aisle and you closed your eyes for a long beat, letting Tony guide you, his hand stroking yours reassuringly.

You took one more deep breath, Chris's words from earlier and the first time you made love echoing in your head, _'...just look at me and know how much I love you. Everything's gonna be fine...Open your eyes, sweetheart. Stay with me...'_ You opened your eyes.

And there he was; your hero.

His hands were clasped one over the other, lips pressed together, turned up in a gentle smile. His brows were pulled up in the center, his eyes glistening with emotion, his chest heaving slightly.

You started to calm immediately. _'Everything's gonna be fine...'_ A bright smile crept across your face. He smiled back, letting out a silent huff of a chuckle. That walk was seemed to take forever, you just wanted to be near him.

When you finally reached him, Tony kissed your cheek, took your hand that was hooked over his arm and placed it in Chris's, then gave him a single pat on the arm before taking his seat. The image from your dream of Sebastian putting your hand in Chris's flashed in your mind and you closed your eyes for a beat.

The guests sat as you turned and handed your bouquet to Nat, her winking at you. You faced Chris again. You were still shaking slightly, both your hands in his now, taking slow, deep breaths to level yourself. Your stomach fluttered uncontrably as he spoke quietly, "You're so beautiful."

You blinked quickly a few times and wiped a tear from his cheek with you thumb while smiling up at him.

He looked to the officiate, "Can I kiss her know?"

The crowd laughed in unison as the officiate also chuckled and answered, "Soon." He then started the ceremony as Chris looked at you, scrunching up his face in disapproval, making you giggle.

You both repeated the traditional vows the that officiate spoke before you, then exchanged rings. The officiate then announced, "I now pronounce you man and wife-"

Chris took you in his arms quickly, his mouth crashing into yours and kissing you deeply as your arms went around his neck.

The officiate laughed, "I'd tell him that he may now kiss the bride, but he's already there."

You barely registered the laughs and cheers from the crowd as you were lost in Chris's kiss, melting into him. When he finally pulled back just enough to rest his forehead against yours, he spoke low enough for only you to hear, "My wife."

You let out a sharp sigh, "Yes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SQUEEEEEE!
> 
> Please leave a comment!
> 
> Love you guys!
> 
> XOXO


	79. A New Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> You both repeated the traditional vows the that officiate spoke before you, then exchanged rings. The officiate then announced, "I now pronounce you man and wife-"
> 
> Chris took you in his arms quickly, his mouth crashing into yours and kissing you deeply as your arms went around his neck.
> 
> The officiate laughed, "I'd tell him that he may now kiss the bride, but he's already there."
> 
> You barely registered the laughs and cheers from the crowd as you were lost in Chris's kiss, melting into him. When he finally pulled back just enough to rest his forehead against yours, he spoke low enough for only you to hear, "My wife."
> 
> You let out a sharp sigh, "Yes."

**Song: Love Like We Do by Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians** (I picture this as the song that plays at the end of this chapter. It's so perfect for the ending- The end of the chapter... not the end of the story! I'm not done yet!)

\--------

Once you both walked back up the aisle and entered the building, you leaned toward Chris, "I really gotta pee, babe."

He laughed, "Of course."

He took you back into your dressing room as it was the closest restroom. You rushed in, him strolling in behind you as you made a hasty beeline for the bathroom.

He glanced around the room, his hands in his pockets, while you did your business and when you came back out, his attention snapped back to you. "Everything come out okay?", he joked.

You scoffed out a laugh as you went to him, humming, giving his lips a soft kiss, "Just fine... Hubby."

He blinked slowly, the corners of his mouth curled into a gentle smile, "Hmmm, I've waited so long to hear that voice say that word."

"I've waited so long to say it.", you smiled back. You moved around him to sit on the sofa taking his hand, "Whoo. I need to sit for a minute."

He sat next to you, lifted your hand, kissed it, then smiled. He looked around, shrugging out of his suit jacket and draping it over the back of the couch, "This is a nice room, mine was a closet compared to this." You both chuckled and he continued, loosening his tie, "Nice couch too." His gaze suddenly got intense.

You knew what that look meant. You turned your head slightly, but before you could react, his mouth was on yours.

He guided you down to lay on the couch with a hand on your back, being careful not to put weight on your belly. He then kissed your neck and shoulders urgently, his beard tickling you and causing you to giggle and pull up your shoulder. He growled playfully in response and he was desperately trying to bunch up the skirt of your dress so he could touch your skin. His voice was husky as his lips and tongue continued their work, "I fucking need you, baby."

Your insides fluttered and your inner walls started swelling quickly at his words. "We need-", his teeth grazed you and you let out a vocal gasp, "Ah!... Chris, everyone's waiting.", you breathed out, your eyelids falling closed.

He spoke against your mouth now, between kisses, barely shaking his head, "No, no, no... they can wait... I can't." He finally got all that fucking fabric up to your hip and threw your leg over his waist so he could squeeze your ass firmly, his grip spreading your center slightly.

You whimpered against his parted lips, your hands tangling in his hair. You really wanted him too and it was getting harder to protest.

There was a knock on the door and you panted against his mouth, "Chris-"

"It's locked." His words were hurried as he assaulted your neck again and swept his fingers over you center.

You gasped, gripping his strong arms through his dress shirt and he growled deeply at your reaction.

There was another knock, followed by Shirley's voice, "(Y/N)? Chris? You in there?"

Chris's head fell, hanging down as you paused and called out, "Yes! Just a second!" You urged him back with a hand and he lifted himself and sat back on the couch, heaving out an exasperated sigh.

You stood, him smacking your ass, making you squeak. You smiled over your shoulder at him and he smiled back, you pushing your dress back down, heading for the door.

When you opened it, she spotted Chris past you on the couch, arm draped over the back of it, looking a bit disheveled.

She smiled, "Oh, there you are!" She looked to the side, shouting down the hall, "I found 'em!" She addressed Chris now, "You can't get her pregnant when she's still got one in there, son."

You giggled and he pressed his lips together, tilting his head and raising his eyebrows, "Doesn't make it any less fun." He smoothed his hair back with his hands. He stood and started tightening his tie as Nat came in the door.

She looked at you both, Chris now putting on his jacket as she smirked at you. "I told you." She grinned. "Now hurry up, everyone's waiting."

Her and Shirley left the room.

"Told you what?", he asked as he hiked his jacket the rest of the way on.

"That my dress would make you want to drag me to a closet and boink me right after the ceremony.", you chuckled.

He glanced up from the buttons he was doing up, his forehead wrinkled, "Well, the dress helps, sweetheart,", he walked to you and gave you a quick kiss, "but it's my wife inside the dress that made me wanna boink you." You smiled as he kissed you again and took your hand, leading you out the door, "Let's go, Mrs. Evans."

Once you both approached the event room, it was already starting to get dark. You heard a voice announce your entrance, everyone clapping and cheering. You both entered as the soft, slow music started for your first dance, Chris leading the way to the dance floor, hand in hand with you. The room was only dim enough to give an intimate mood, those strings of white lights complimenting the tone.

You were both beaming as he gently swung you around in front of him. His hand lifted, still holding yours, his other wrapping around your back, your arm coming to rest on his shoulder while he pulled you close against him.

He looked down at you with more love and adoration than you thought was possible as you both started to sway. You gazed into his eyes, you both smiling softly at each other. You could see your future in his eyes; your husband.

You could picture him as a father to your child... playing with your little boy as a toddler; chasing him around the park, scooping him up and pretending to eat his little round belly playfully while the little guy giggles uncontrollably. You could see them bouncing up in their seats and shouting at a game on the TV, spilling a bowl of popcorn from between them all over the couch in their enthusiasm. You could imagine Chris tucking in your son, kissing him on the forehead and saying 'Goodnight, little man. I love you.' with your boy returning a small 'I love you, Daddy.' before Chris smiles and turns out the light.

You took a huge breath and as it came out, your eyes welled up in a flash and you choked back sobs, still looking him in the eyes.

His face twisted a bit as he spoke low and titled his head, "What's wrong, sweetheart?"

Your breath hitched and you shook your head, "Nothing. Everything's perfect."

His eyes got a little wet too, "It really is. I love you, (Y/N)." He dipped his head down to kiss your lips so softly.

You smiled and laid your head on his chest and slid your arms underneath his and laid your flat hands against his upper back, "I love you, Chris. More than anything."

He sighed heavily at your words, closed his eyes and enveloped you in his arms completely, hunching over you protectively, both of you still moving to the music with everyone watching... but it was just the two of you in that moment. His heartbeart... that heartbeat... that heartbeat that could comfort you in a way nothing else could. You felt safe, secure and loved. So loved.

After your first dance, people came to say congratulations as you and Chris stood at the front near the stage, Sam and Nat with you both.

After about five minutes, you felt yourself getting antsy, looking down the line of people waiting to see you both. You were getting hungry, shaky and your feet and back were hurting. You kicked off your heels then took a drink of from the water bottle on the chair behind you, "Honey, how many people did we actually invite?"

Chris didn't get to answer you before another couple greeted both you both, hugging you up; more of his family. Most of the people there were people from his family and some of his friends, less your shared friends and a good number of people from work.

He could finally answer you between people, "About one twenty-five, I think." He put an arm to your back, the other under your belly and dipped his head, seeing you trying to hide your discomfort and noticing you shaking, "You okay, love?"

The next people were waiting as he tended to you and you answered, "I-", you sighed. "I don't wanna put anyone out,", you got up on your toes and he bent down so you could talk quietly in his ear, "but, I'm really hungry, my feet and back hurt and I have to pee again."

He held you close against him now, "Baby, why didn't you say something sooner? Don't you worry about anyone else. You come first." He called over to Sam and asked him to tell the band to announce that the bride needed a break to get something to eat and you both would greet everyone else afterwards. It was also announced that the buffet was open, so they were welcome to eat. He scooped you up to take you to the restroom first, with Nat in tow.

"I got her, Nat.", he glanced over his shoulder.

"You can't go in the ladies room Chris, and she's a little shaky.", she argued.

His brows furrowed, "The fuck I can't. Who's gonna stop me?", he challenged, chuckling confidently. He set you down in front of the restroom, "I'll be right here, little mama." He kissed your head and waited while Nat took you in with her hands under your elbows.

Chris carried you back to the wedding party table off to the side of the stage where you, he, Nat, Bruce, Sam and Maria would sit. As he did you chuckled, "I know you're my hero and all, but I can still walk."

"I know, but you said your back and feet hurt and if I can keep you from being uncomfortable, I will." He set you down next to your chair and pulled it out, then he sat after tucking your chair in. He rested an elbow on the table, his other arm over the back of your chair as he leaned in, "I'll always take care of you, remember?" He huffed out a laugh and shook his head, "Still not changing."

You smiled softly, "I actually love how you take care of me. It makes me feel treasured. Thank you."

He returned your expression and leaned in to nuzzle right under your ear, "My little... wife." He hummed, planting a kiss there as you fought a giggle, scrunching up your nose at his facial hair tickling you as he continued, "Mmm, wife." He pulled back and he scrunched his face up, looking silly, "I just _love_ saying that." You chortled as he asked Nat, "Can you sit with her, please, while I go get us plates?"

"I'll get it, you stay with your wife.", she winked at him.

He nodded and smiled, "Thanks, Nat."

Bruce got up and went to help her.

After you got something to eat, you were feeling a lot better and you greeted whoever came up to see you both. Then there were the toasts up on the stage into the microphone; Nat, Sam, Chris's Dad and Tony all had one to give.

Nat told everyone that she was the mastermind behind the whole relationship and told everyone "you're welcome". She then got serious, her eyes tearing up. She bit her lips into her mouth for a beat, "But, really, (Y/N) has become my best friend. She lets me tease her more than I think she should.", she huffed out a laugh. "And I've been friends with Chris for a long time too. I just knew,", she looked at you lovingly, her closed lips in a small smile, tilting her head, "these two needed each other. And I'm so happy they're here today." She sniffed and dabbed at her eyes with the pad of her finger, "Thanks for making me an Auntie! Congrats you crazy kids!"

Sam talked about how he saw Chris struggle to win you over and that he was proud Chris hadn't given up, because with you was were he should be. Chris's Dad told about how he was so glad that a wonderful young lady like you was able tie Chris down because his wife was driving him crazy about Chris giving her grandbabies before it was too late. He then became more serious and loving, welcoming you to the family.

Tony talked about what he had seen between the two of you since the beginning and how he always assumed you'd end up together... "I had always seen that... pull between you. I knew that one day you'd both end up here... and I always had a hunch it would be three of you here today... though I pictured it a little different..." He stared at you both intensely for a beat. You teared up and Chris squeezed your hand under the table. He was talking about Sebastian, but in a way that only the two of you and a handful of others would understand. You bit the corner of your bottom lip to hold back crying. You heard Nat sniff next to you.

Tony then broke eye contact, addressed the crowd and became lighthearted again, booming, "I was betting they were gonna have a girl!" Everyone laughed. He looked to you both again, "Congrats, I love you both." The guests clapped. He made a blowing kiss gesture at you and you smiled as Chris wrapped his arm around you and pulled you close to kiss your temple.

"I wanna say something, come with me?", you asked Chris.

His eyebrows pulled up, "Sure, baby."

He stood, took your hand and led you up to the stage. He stood near you, shoving his hands in his pockets as you stepped up to the microphone. You shielded your eyes from the the spotlight for a beat and squinted as you muttered, "Jesus."

There were soft chuckles from the crowd, then you continued softly, "Hi... So, uh, first of all, thank you to each of you for coming. I can't tell you how much it means to me- us-", you turned and glanced at Chris. He winked and you faced the guests again, "that you all came today. But what I really wanna talk about is the man who is now my husband." You reached out for his hand and felt the tears pushing behind your eyes. His brows pulled up in center and he took a step closer, taking your hand. You continued, "I feel like the luckiest girl in the world to marry the one who has become my everything. He's been my friend, my shoulder to cry on, my rock, my strength...", your own tears were falling quickly now.

You looked at Chris. His eyes were starting to glisten with tears. He squeezed your hand and looked to the floor, free hand back in his pocket again as you addressed the crowd, "He was an unsuspecting victim of indecision...", he heard Chris huff out a laugh at that as you went on. "He was patience, love, devotion, wisdom. The level head, the needed smiles, the strong arms of safety and security...and now the father of my child..." You choked on a sob, "He was there for me through some deep and tragic losses..." You pressed your lips together and his eyes met yours as you looked to him again, "One of them, was a loss of someone very close to him as well. And he waded through his own pain, right by my side... all while still managing to take care of me... take care of us." He bit his lips into his mouth and nodded gently, a tear rolling down his cheek while he blinked, his eyes moving to the floor again. "He never gave up on me...", you sniffed. You were still looking at him and when you spoke to finish your string of thoughts, his eyes met yours again, " _You_ are the best thing that's ever happened to _me_ , Chris... You're my hero. I love you."

You went to hug him and he took you in his arms quickly, holding you tight as people applauded. He spoke low into your hair, "I love you, baby. Thank you for that."

You both pulled back, wiping and dabbing at your eyes. Near the mic, you said, "Ugh, I need to fix my makeup again."

"You looked perfect.", Chris said quietly, smiling at you.

Sam shouted at Chris, "WHAT?!"

Chris leaned into the mic, "I said she looks perfect."

Some made 'aww' sounds and others laughed.

You chuckled, smiling, hitching a thumb at Chris, "This guy..."

He put a hand to the back of your neck to pull you closer and kissed your head, bent over and kissed your belly then stepped to the microphone with an arm still around your waist, "Okay, enough crying... LET'S DANCE!"

The band started playing a loud, upbeat song as everyone stood, leaving their tables for the dance floor. Chris led you down the stairs and to the floor, laughing, scrunching his nose and shaking his head at your cuteness when you started to shaking your baby belly and your booty. You scrunched your nose back at him, smiling and he took your hand pulling you into him and kissing you deeply. He pulled back, smiling softly, shaking his head. He couldn't even think of the words to express how full his heart felt... so he just said, "My heart is so full... there are no words."

You smiled up at him, "Me too."

He kissed your nose and started to sway slowly, you following his lead as he held you against him. You rested your head on his chest and you both continued to sway as everyone around you danced their little hearts out.

The rest of the night was filled with nothing but joy, laughs, smiles... and looking to the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had meant to post this chapter last night (I was so close to finishing it)... then this morning... sorry it took so long.
> 
> Are you guys bored? I'm a little bored.
> 
> I gotta push through to the surprise I promised you all. Once I get excited about what's ahead (the surprise in this case), I find it hard to power through the content I have to write to get there. Bah.


	80. Decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> The band started playing a loud, upbeat song as everyone stood, leaving their tables for the dance floor. Chris led you down the stairs and to the floor, laughing, scrunching his nose and shaking his head at your cuteness when you started to shaking your baby belly and your booty. You scrunched your nose back at him, smiling and he took your hand pulling you into him and kissing you deeply. He pulled back, smiling softly, shaking his head. He couldn't even think of the words to express how full his heart felt... so he just said, "My heart is so full... there are no words."
> 
> You smiled up at him, "Me too."
> 
> He kissed your nose and started to sway slowly, you following his lead as he held you against him. You rested your head on his chest and you both continued to sway as everyone around you danced their little hearts out.
> 
> The rest of the night was filled with nothing but joy, laughs, smiles... and looking to the future.

Once the reception was over, you and Chris got changed and headed home. The flight for your honeymoon was leaving the next day, since it was known ahead of time that the reception would be over later in the night.

Once Chris pulled in the driveway, he shut off the car and helped you out, scooping you up and carrying you to the front door. He set you down to unlock and open the front door; he didn't want to risk dropping you during such an awkward maneuvering. He picked you back up and walked through the door while kissing you, kicking the door closed behind him. "Welcome home, wife.", he beamed at you, carrying you to the bedroom.

You smiled back and kissed his lips softly, "Thank you, husband." He set you on the bed gently and you kicked off your shoes, him turning on the lamp, then kicking off his own shoes. You got up and headed for the bathroom, chortling, "Gotta pee."

He chuckled, nodding as he continued to peel off his clothes, "Okay, baby."

When you came back into the bedroom, he was laying on the bed in just his boxer briefs, on his back, ankles crossed, eyes closed, his hands behind his head, showcasing his amazing arms. You bit one side of your lip and took a moment to admire him. He was so handsome, cute and fucking hot all rolled into one. You sighed heavily.

He opened his eyes to see you standing at the foot of the bed, wearing the soft, white, lacy and sheer nightie set Nat gifted to you. It was his turn to sigh heavily as his gaze turned lustful. He licked his lips and bit the bottom one for a beat. He curled a finger a few times in a come hither motion, smirking.

You crawled onto the bed and over him, leaning down to kiss him softly, your tongues teasing each other as he moved your hair back from around your face, taking it with as his hands settled gently near the back of your head. Once your lips left his, he whispered, "I love you so much, baby."

"I love you just as much, honey."

The only other words spoken from then on were scattered, soft whispers of praise and love. Everything else was an ocean's depth of emotion and tenderness shown as the two of you made slow and gentle love for the first time as man and wife.

The next morning, you woke up before Chris. Funny; he used to always be the early riser on the weekends. Probably because he was always a little restless before he got to be with you. Now he was more at ease, relaxed... not to mention the times he tired himself out pleasing you.

You leaned over and kissed his forehead. He lazily reached out to wrap his arms around you, "Mmm, morning baby girl." He cracked an eye open at you, then closed it, sleep starting to take over again.

"Hey, handsome...", you kissed his lips gently, "go back to sleep."

"Yes ma'am.", he mumbled, stroking your belly with his curled fingers for a beat before letting himself fall asleep again.

You kissed his cheek, got up and put on a tank top and some boy short underwear. Why bother with pants? Besides, Chris made you feel so sexy while pregnant, you didn't feel the need to cover up everything. You closed the bedroom door softly and started coffee for him, tea for yourself, then breakfast for you both.

Once you were done, you went to wake him, but right before you reached the door knob, he opened the door quickly, startling you. You let out a tiny yelp and jumped a bit.

His eyebrows shot up and he immediately took you in this arms, you both chuckling as he said, "Oh, hey, baby boo. You stalking me?" He gave you several playful kisses on your forehead and cheek as he leaned over you.

"Yes. I like to stare at you when you aren't looking.", you laughed at his kisses.

"I like to stare at you all the time.", he grinned down at you and then smacked your ass before releasing you and heading for the bathroom in his pajama pants.

You poured him a cup of coffee and when he came out of the bathroom, he came to you dishing up plates at the stove. He stood behind you and splayed his hands on either side of your growing belly, under your arms, as he hunched over to talk low in your ear, smiling, "How's my little mama and my boy doin'?"

You smiled widely, dropping pieces of crispy bacon on a plate of cheesy eggs with onions and peppers, "I'm doing just fine and he's very active this morning." Your statement was punctuated with a strong bop from the inside by the baby, making you both laugh.

"He's gonna be a great football kicker.", he kissed your cheek, took the plate on the counter you had dished, plus the one in your hand that you'd just finished and headed to the table.

"Or maybe a boxer; those could be his fists, babe.", you chuckled, grabbing both your mugs and following him.

He set the plates down and smiled, watching you come to the table, admiring how beautiful you looked carrying his son. His heart swelled, which it did quite often these days. He then pulled out your chair and tucked it in as you sat, "I'll be happy with whatever he ends up being... as long as he plays sports."

You narrowed your eyes and scowled at him playfully.

"I'm kidding, love.", he sat and then picked up his coffee. "I'm just happy to be having a baby with you, to be honest." He took a sip of his coffee, then set his cup down quickly. "Oh." He stood and went to the fridge quickly, pulling out a carton and holding it up for you to see. It was some of that rediculously overpriced, premixed, flavored iced coffee from the store. "I know you've been missing coffee, sweetheart, so I got you some decaf. You want it cold or hot.", he raised his eyebrows and turned his head slightly, waiting for an answer.

Your eyes lit up, "Oh, thank you, babe! Iced, please!"

He got out a glass, filled it halfway with ice and then the rest of the way with the coffee. He plopped a straw into it and brought it to you, grinning, "Anything for my sexy little bun oven." He kissed your forehead and sat.

Once breakfast was done, you both did dishes. There were a few hours before yet your flight and you were already packed, so you opted to do whatever you felt like doing until you had to get ready to go. You both ended up sitting at his computer, you on his lap, looking at baby furniture and supplies.

"We need to get this stuff soon, baby.", he said while browsing cribs on a well known department store website.

You bit your lip for a moment, "Honey?"

He turned his head to you, forehead wrinkled up in expectation.

"We haven't talked about how we want to parent our baby, nor how we want to handle the birth."

"Is... there different ways? When he gets older, sure, but when he's a baby... don't your just do all the same stuff that everybody else does? Feed, change, bathe, play, love, repeat? And how do you even have a baby differently from anyone else? I mean, they always come out the fun place, don't they?"

You giggled at his adorably simple take on caring for and having a baby, "Well, for the most part yeah. But, birthing can be done at a hospital or at home. It can be with or without pain relieving drugs. It can be done cesarean, which is a surgery where there is an incision in the mother's belly to get the baby out..."

His eyebrows knit together tightly. He looked terrified, "We're not doing that."

You chuckled, "That one is only used for emergencies if there's something wrong with the baby, which is very rare."

He sighed in relief, "Oh, good. It sounds like something out of a horror movie." He shook his head, pulled the corners of his mouth down, baring his teeth, disgusted. Once his face relaxed, he continuted, "Well, sweetheart, I think the birth is ultimately up to you, since it's your body. But, I think at home, without drugs sounds best for you and the baby." He rubbed your belly lovingly and kissed you, then blinked slowly at you.

You smiled, "I knew I loved you for a reason."

He pulled his head back and furrowed his brows, "That's the only reason? Not even my mad bedroom skills?"

You laughed, "All of you, honey. I just mean that we seem to share a lot of the same viewpoints on things... How about the baby sleeping in the bed with us? Makes for easy breastfeeding, no one has to get up and try to stay awake for feedings. Just pop the little one on and go back to sleep. Plus, bed sharing encourages deep bonding for us all and makes for a very secure and confident child later on."

He turned his head and narrowed his eyes at you, "When did you get so smart about babies?"

"I've been researching a lot on the internet.", you laughed.

He thought for a beat, "I looove the idea of having him in the bed with us, but I'd be nervous about rolling over him... or him falling off the bed."

"As long as neither of us have been drinking or are on loopy medication, we'll be fine, honey.", you put a hand against his jaw and stroked his beard with your thumb. "You can even do your own research if it makes you more comfortable."

One side of his mouth curled up into a half smile, "I trust you... but I think I'd like to research solutions for rolling off the bed."

"We could sidecar a crib to the bed or just put the matress on the floor.", you chortled.

He looked confused, "Sidecar a crib?"

"Here.", you showed him some internet pictures on his computer.

"Ohhhh, yeah. Okay. Sure. Okay, we'll think on that one. We've got a few months still. Sound good?"

You nodded contently, "Yep!" You stood to get more coffee for you both, taking his cup along with your glass while his hands grazed your thighs as you stepped away.

He turned in his chair to watch you saunter away, your hips swaying slightly as you walked up the two steps to the kitchen. He started, "You know what I've been thinking about? For a really long time?"

"What's that, love?", you set the mug and glass down on the island and looked at him inquisitively.

He licked his lips and tilted his head, "Pepper's birthday party... when you got completely wasted."

"Oh,", you turned to get the iced coffee out of the fridge, "let's not revisit that." You started pouring for each of you, your back turned to him.

He continued, "No, no. It's just that ever since that night... I always fantasized about you dancing like that... just for me."

Your stomach fluttered and you paused. Wow. He really had wanted you for a long time. You felt sympathetic, being reminded just how long he actually had been pining for you. You put the iced coffee back in the fridge, picked up the mug and glass and turned, heading back to him. You hummed, "Hmmm, you asking for a private belly dance, Mr. Evans?" You handed him his coffee.

"Well, not so much asking as telling you what I dream about.", he smiled softly up at you while you straddled him and sat on his lap, his free hand going to your hip.

"What about this?", you pointed to your bump as he turned his chair so he was facing sideways to his desk and set down his coffee, taking yours from you as well and setting it down.

"Just as sexy.", he winked, wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing your chin.

"Okay.", you stood, pushing off his chest with your hands. You leaned over him to find a song online that you were familiar with. As you did, he caressed the back of your thigh and lifted your snug tank top to kiss your side. You squeaked, giggled and pulled your side in instinctively when he did. He sighed heavily, he was already getting excited.

You stepped back as the music started and you began your fluid, sensual movements as you pushed your tank top up to expose your belly and back, knowing he loved your waist, but also because the midriff was meant to be seen with this kind of dance.

He turned in his chair to face you and quirked an eyebrow, taking a deep breath as you smirked at him. You danced for him for another few moments and then approached him, turned and undulating your hips side to side, slowly, lowering yourself close to his lap, but not touching him as you looked over your shoulder. His hands went lightly to your hips and you stepped away and turned, still dancing. You shook a finger and your head at him, with a coyly scolding expression.

He looked playfully disappointed.

You danced for another minute and came to him again, straddling his lap, facing him. You lowered yourself down, still moving your hips and went all the way down on him this time, wrapping your arms around his neck. You could feel how hard he was. You halted your movements and kissed him quickly, grinning, "Good?"

He took a huge breath and nodded, "Yeah, but, you're wearing too many clothes, Mrs. Evans."

You took his hint, and stood to remove the offending clothing, while he pulled his hard length out of his pajama pants and stroked himself as you positioned yourself over him. You rode him right there on his chair, but ended up bent over said chair, him folded over you and holding you tight against his front. He was whispering praises in your ear, and kissing your neck and back as you mewled at his persistent thrusts. Once you both had come, he stayed there, stroking and tickling everywhere he could reach with his fingertips.

He panted against your hair, "That was fucking hot. Thank you, baby." He kissed your head.

"No... thank you.", you managed through labored breath.

"Anytime.", he gave you one more thrust, bumping you slightly, making you giggle. He continued, while peppering soft kisses along your neck and shoulders, "Love you, sweetheart."

You put a hand to the back of his head, "Love you, big guy."

"I love it when you call me that... especially after a good fucking."

You both chuckled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I managed to find a belly dancing video of a pregnant woman who wasn't about to pop. She looks to be about where reader is in her pregnancy and I really like her dance, it's how I pictured reader dancing. https://youtu.be/ceU3ZM7g-lg


	81. Closer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Refresher:
> 
> He panted against your hair, "That was fucking hot. Thank you, baby." He kissed your head.
> 
> "No... thank you.", you managed through labored breath.
> 
> "Anytime.", he gave you one more thrust, bumping you slightly, making you giggle. He continued, while peppering soft kisses along your neck and shoulders, "Love you, sweetheart."
> 
> You put a hand to the back of his head, "Love you, big guy."
> 
> "I love it when you call me that... especially after a good fucking."
> 
> You both chuckled.

Your honeymoon was at a lavish hotel and resort at Disney World. Chris had booked a one bedroom suite for a week. You got professional massages, the best meals and got to ride plenty of attractions, even being pregnant.

You both would take a shower or bath together each evening, maybe have a little sex while doing so and then go swimming in the huge hotel pool before going to bed.

You were sitting on the edge of the pool in your red halter bikini one evening. Chris was in the pool, between your legs, his arms around your hips. His fingertips were caressing the small of your back, his lips on your belly. He kept them there while he gave it a rapid succession of kisses, humming while he did.

You ran your fingers through his wet hair, your other hand resting on his shoulder, watching him lovingly as he spoke quietly against your skin, "I know you got some growing to do still, but I wish the time when you get to come out would get here faster." He layed his cheek against you and got a kick. You both chuckled and he put his forehead to your belly, "Whoa. Hey, I know; it's warm and safe in there. But don't worry. When you come out, you're still gonna be warm and safe with me and Mama. Okay?" He gave your tummy one more kiss.

His encouragement and affection made you smile as he looked up at you and winked.

You both talked more about home birth. You had mentioned to him that the one Aunt you had contact with that he met at your wedding, Shar, was a midwife and that you'd like to ask her to help you deliver.

She always reminded your of a modern hippie. She had long, stick straight, brown hair that she usually wore in a low ponytail or braid. She often wore button-fly jeans, with Birkenstock sandals and plain t-shirts. Her voice was relaxed and low by nature. It often reminded you of a stoned college dude, though she didn't smoke pot... anymore.

He was in agreement that he'd like to talk to her. So you would contact her as soon as you got home. Once you did, she was very excited to be asked. She would come over a week later to discuss a plan with you and Chris.

During a grocery trip after getting back from the honeymoon and before your appointment with Shar, you talked over both your ideas and desires for the birth.

Chris was pushing the cart behind you, sneaking a bag of tortilla chips into it as you looked over the list while you spoke, "Even though our bathtub is big enough, I think we should use a birthing pool. In the living room reading area probably. The bathroom won't have the room we need for Shar and any equipment she might need to have. And we can just move all the furniture out of the way." You were biting the tip of your pen when you turned.

You caught him putting a pacakge of cookies in the cart now. "Sounds good.", he replied, beaming.

"Chris-", you scolded, taking the cookies back out of the cart. "I can't-", you spotted the tortilla chips and grabbed them. "Really?", you held up the chips and chortled. "We've got enough junk in the house, babe. I can't have all this lying around. I'll eat ALL OF IT." Your eyes were wide now.

He chuckled, "We're out of cookies and yesterday you said you wanted nachos. You're eating for two now. I say eat whatever you want, baby."

"Okay,", you put the cookies back in the cart and put the chips on the shelf, "only because we're out of cookies... but no chips. Just because I want it, doesn't mean I should have it." You went to him and got on your toes to kiss him. "And I'm not eating for two adults, big guy.", you tapped his jaw with a fist and he played along, tilting his head as if you were punching him, smiling softly as you went on. "Occasional treats are fine, but I only need an extra five hundred calories a day... and they should come from healthy food. I keep seeing more and more junk food, multiplying like rabbits in our cupboards lately. Which is why I have to do the shopping with you now.", you playfully poked him in the chest.

He leaned over and nuzzled your nose with his, "I know, but I just wanna spoil you... you deserve it, sweetheart." He kissed your lips.

"Thank you, honey. But, you spoil me plenty with things that aren't food.", you chuckled and turned again to continue shopping. "We can get stuff for taco salad; that's a close enough second- Ooh! Cheese puffs!"

He shook his head, smiling. He lifted his eyebrows, "Did you say _I_ need _you_ to keep _me_ in check while shopping?"

You narrowed your eyes, stuck your tongue out, turned on your heel and passed the cheese puffs.

He let out a soft laugh and followed after you, leaning over the cart as he pushed it, "Love you, princess." He always called you princess when you were flinging additude.

You didn't look terribly amused. While still focused straight ahead, you replied loudly, "Love you, dork."

Once you both got home that evening, you went in to pee, Chris following you with several bags of groceries hanging on his arms. Once he set them down, he went back out for the rest. You then came out of the bathroom you started putting stuff away.

"I got it, little love. Go sit down or something.", he said bringing in the last bags.

You looked at the clock on the stove, "Cripes, I had no idea it was so late. Let me help and then I'll go get ready for bed." You took a head of lettuce out of a bag on the island and headed for the fridge.

He stepped in front of you and gently grabbed the lettuce, "No,", he put it in the fridge, straightened again and turned your around, giving your ass a slap, "go get ready for bed now. You've been on your feet for two hours, sweetheart."

You smiled over your shoulder as you started stepping toward the bedroom, "Yes, sir."

Once he was done putting away the groceries, he brushed his teeth and came to the bedroom where you were reading sitting up in the bed, already having brushed your own teeth and changing into one of his t-shirts.

He stripped down to his underwear and bent over near the nightstand on his side. You heard the rustling of a plastic bag and when he straightened again, he was holding a book... a children's book.

On side of your mouth pulled up, "What's that?"

His forehead wrinkled as he climbed into the bed, then he smiled up at you, resting on his elbow, close to your belly, "I'm gonna read to the baby."

"My God. When do you stop getting more awesome?", you chortled, placing your bookmark in your book and setting it on your nightstand.

He quirked an eyebrow and pulled his head back sharply, "Hopefully never."

You smiled softly and blinked slowly as you leaned over to kiss his lips, him looking up at you.

"You're such a good daddy. And I already think your amazing, honey. You don't need to keep getting better."

He gave you a gentle smile, his heart fluttering. He then kissed your belly, "Okay, little man, story time."

You rubbed his back lovingly as he started to read... and you were out after the third page.

Over the next couple months, the girls had thrown you a baby shower. Anything you needed and hadn't received as a gift, you and Chris made sure to buy it soon after. You had both decided on a baby friendly rail for your side of the bed. It wasn't attached to the bed yet, but Chris could do that quickly and easily enough the day the baby was born.

What used to be your bedroom was made into a nursery, even though the baby would sleep with the two of you. You both still wanted the little guy to have a room to play in, keep his toys, supplies and clothes in. You even bought a crib, just in case. All your furniture was moved into Sebastian's old room to act as a guest room should it ever be needed.

One morning you and Chris went for a run. The air was turning cool and it would be Halloween in less than a week. You had 10 more weeks until your due date, putting you at 30 weeks. The baby was growing rapidly in these later stages and you were really starting to feel it now.

After about ten minutes of running you slowed, huffing, "Honey. I-"

Chris stopped and put a hand on your upper back, then hunched over as you stopped and bent over slightly, hands on your knees. As you kept panting, he asked, brows knitted together, "You okay?"

You nodded.

"You gonna puke?"

You shook your head, "No. Just-" You straightened and started walking, your hands on your hips as he followed, a hand under your elbow, the other at the small of your back. You continued, "It's getting really-", you huffed again, "fucking hard to breath."

He chortled, "Well, yeah. You got my big boy jammed up in your ribs, sweetheart."

You chuckled half-heartedly.

He pulled you into him, wrapped his arms around you and kissed your head as you arms went around his middle, "I'm sorry, baby. Wanna keep going?"

"Well, let's at least run back."

"You sure?", he kissed your head again.

"Yeah.", your breath was still a bit labored. "I'm not giving up that easy."

He smirked and huffed out a chuckle, "My tough little cookie."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think the baby's name will/should be?
> 
> Let me know what you think of this chapter!
> 
> Much love!
> 
> XOXO


	82. Love Is Kinda Crazy...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> He chortled, "Well, yeah. You got my big boy jammed up in your ribs, sweetheart."
> 
> You chuckled half-heartedly.
> 
> He pulled you into him, wrapped his arms around you and kissed your head as you arms went around his middle, "I'm sorry, baby. Wanna keep going?"
> 
> "Well, let's at least run back."
> 
> "You sure?", he kissed your head again.
> 
> "Yeah.", your breath was still a bit labored. "I'm not giving up that easy."
> 
> He smirked and huffed out a chuckle, "My tough little cookie."

Halloween evening had arrived. You and Chris invited your friends over for a fire, music and booze. Shirley would even be joining. You dressed as a pregnant nun and tended to the steady flow of trick-or-treaters as you watched Hocus Pocus in the living room. Chris was out back, getting the fire started. Tony and Pepper were the first to arrive.

When you opened the door you hooted with laughter as Tony stepped in, dressed as a woman... a woman with facial hair, spaghetti strap top, short skirt and a loudly painted face... who looked like a street-walker from the 80s. He even had a horrible blond, curly wig.

"Oh my God, Tony! You look awesome!", you put your hand over your mouth, still laughing as he hugged you.

"Hey, watch your mouth. A woman of the Lord shouldn't use his name in vain!", he stepped back, adjusted his fake breasts and flipped his hair back with a hand.

You rubbed your belly, smirking, "Well, I don't really follow the rules, do I?"

"Ha! Guess not.", he huffed and teetered in his heels towards the entry from the living room to the dining room. He bent over, placed a hand on the wall and took his shoes off as Pepper came to hug you, dressed as a pimp.

You chuckled and nodded, "Ah. Makes perfect sense now. I love it."

You smiled as she rubbed your belly. "Ooh, getting close.", she beamed.

While you and Pepper talked, Tony was rubbing his foot and yelling back through the house at Chris, "Hey, Lumberjack! Bring the lady a drink, will ya?!"

You quirked an eyebrow at Pepper, taking a deep breath and nodding, responding to her observance, "Yeah, I'm getting nervous.", you let out a weak chuckle.

She gave your a reassuring grin, "You'll do great, (Y/N)."

"Thank you."

Just then Chris headed from the kitchen, dressed as a very sophisticated and handsome devil; red high collar cape, black silk dress shirt, red velvet vest, black slacks and dress shoes. He wore a black, lacy, layered collar hanging down the front of his chest, complete with small, realistic horns sticking out through his hair. He shouted back, "The lady isn't going to be drink-", his statement turned into a howl of amusement as he spotted Tony and doubled over. He then continued towards Tony, barely managing to talk through his laughter, then spotted Pepper, who was grinning. "Ah-ha! Tony... You guys... that's so great!" He slapped Tony on his bare upper back.

"OW! Easy, Lucifer.", Tony titled his head back and shook it to get his wig hair out of his face. "I'm a delicate flower."

Chris laughed loudly once more, smacking his own chest.

The doorbell rang again and kids could be heard shouting, "Trick or treat!" You went to answer it and Tony pointed between you and Chris.

"So...", he looked at Chris.

Chris just raised an eyebrow and nodded confidently, "That's right. I cannot be denied."

Tony laughed, "Perfect."

Everyone else showed up soon after. Shirley came as the wolf from Little Red Riding Hood who ate grandma and wore her nightgown and cap, mask and all. She didn't where the mask for long though. Nat and Bruce were Sonny and Cher, Thor and Jane came as a hunter and a deer, Jane was the cutest deer. Sam came as Elvis and Maria was a clown. The Bartons were taking their kids trick or treating and would come by later, Clint as a pirate and Laura as Snow White a after they left the kids with their Grandparents for the night.

Everyone had filtered into the back yard as they arrived, Chris seeing everyone back and then coming to the living room again to sit with you. He did so until everyone had arrived. When  
Shirley, Nat and Bruce showed, they sat in the living room watching the movie and chatting with you, eating some mini pretzels and chocolate candies you had in a big bowl on the coffee table.

Once everyone had shown up, Chris sat on the couch once more as the others were talking amongst themselves and he leaned into you, "Hey, foxy mama.", he said softly. He kissed your temple, his hand resting just inside your knee, which he stroked with a thumb as he grinned at you.

You wrapped both your arms around his one and smiled back, scrunching your nose at him. You spoke close to his ear, in a quiet seductive tone, "Hey, sexy daddy." You actually managed to make your own nether-regions twitch at that.

You gave him a gentle kiss below the ear and when you pulled back, he was quirking an eyebrow, his expression mischievous. He didn't have say anything for you to know that you were going to get it later.

Sam peaked his head around the wall, beer in hand and squinted an eye at you, "Hey, where's them sugar cookie bars, girl? If you're hidin' 'em from me, I'll tear this house apart to find 'em."

"Oh,", you chuckled, scooting forward in your seat to prepare to get up.

"I got it, sweetheart.", Chris kissed your cheek quickly and got up.

"Ooh. I need to get some of those.", Bruce said quietly and stood.

"They're in the fridge. Thank you, babe.", you said as Chris rounded the furniture and winked before he disappeared with Sam, Bruce following.

Just as you sat back, the doorbell rang again, followed with shouts of more mature voices, "Trick or treat! Smell my feet! Give me something good to eat!" You guessed it was teenagers this far into the evening.

You, Nat and Shirley chuckled.

You huffed and started to sit up again and Nat jumped up, "I got it, (Y/N). Relax for a bit."

"Thanks, Nat."

As she answered the door, Shirley started, "How you doin', sugar? You okay?"

You smiled softly, "Yes, just a bit tired. Thank you, Miss Shirley." You sat back again and groaned a little, "Though my back is a bit sore. Gets a little more annoying every week."

"Oh, yeah. That's shitty. Make Chris rub your back every night. And sleep with a pillow... or your husband between your legs."

You chortled, "Sometimes I put my leg over him. I'll remember the pillow thing. He rubs my back already. And anytime during the day he can tell I'm uncomfortable. Bought me a heating pad too. He spoils me."

"Good. Thatta boy. Any woman going through carrying a baby deserves to be treated like royalty."

Nat returned and sat, smacking her thighs, "Welp! You're out of candy, so I turned off the porch light. All these kids should be getting in bed by now anyway. Should we head out back?"

"Yeah,", you shifted to get up again and Chris entered the room sans horns and cape.

"Honey, don't get up.", he rounded the coffee table and came to you and sat, "What do you need?"

You chuckled and scooted to the edge of the cushion, turning the TV off with the remote, "We're out of candy, so I need to go hang out with my friends..." You glanced at him and gently pinched his chin, smiling, "You're missing some of your costume, Daddy."

"My cape is annoying and my horns were itchy. Aaaand I still have adhesive in my hair.", he dropped his chin sharply and pressed his lips together, displeased. He stood offering you a hand as Nat and Shirley chuckled and stood as well.

You pulled off your headpiece, "Yeah, I can relate. We'll put some olive oil in your hair to get that stuff out after everyone leaves, love.", you smiled up at him.

He bent down and kissed you quickly and put a hand to your lower back as you all started for the back yard, "I love that you know all these little secrets for problems."

Nat turned her head, smiling as she walked ahead, holding Shirley's hand, "Yeah, she helped me a lot with little solutions like that when she stayed with us."

Once you all got outside, sat and settled, Chris stood before both you and Shirley and asked, "Can I get you ladies anything?"

You started, "Yeah, I-", you paused, your hand to your stomach, feeling a bit of cramping, brows furrowed.

Chris crouched down, placing his own hand over yours on your belly, the other on the chair arm, looking a bit worried, "Baby?"

You spoke low to him as he leaned in, "I think I need to go to the bathroom."

He chortled and helped you up, "Okay, let's go."

He took you to the bathroom and waited outside the door, leaning against the wall. Thor, Jane, Tony and Nat were in the kitchen. They were eating as they and Chris talked.

You hiked up your costume and sat to go, hearing all their voices and the Halloween music just outside the door. It made you happy to think about having so many great friends and good times with them often. You had to pee, but nothing else that you had suspected. You stood, put your clothes all back in order and turned to flush.

There was blood on the toilet paper in the bowl.

Your breath caught and a wave of panic swept over you. Now that you thought about it, you hadn't felt the baby move very much today... and hadn't felt anything the last couple hours. _'No. No. No, no, no.'_

"Chris!", you cried out.

He rushed in, shutting the door behind him.

Everyone in the kitchen paused, all their faces concerned as they all looked at each other.

Chris stepped to you, brows pulled together. One hand went to your arm the other to your belly as he dipped his head, "What's wrong, honey?"

You had tears in your eyes and you were shaking. You pointed to the toilet.

He looked. His eyes got wide and his stomach twisted. _'Oh God. Please... no._ ' He took a deep breath and turned back to you, "Okay, let's not panic..." He was struggling with his own dread anyway, but he knew he needed to keep you calm. He kissed your head, "Let's get you to the hospital, sweetheart." He flushed the toilet, grabbed a towel off the shelf and started guiding you out of the bathroom.

Everyone had been waiting and when you both came out, Chris spoke, "We're going to the hospital." He grabbed his keys and continued guiding you towards the door while Nat ran to be by your side.

"Why?!", she called from behind you both before reaching you, taking your hand tightly, the others in tow.

"She's bleeding.", Chris answered, helping you into your jacket.

"I'm coming with you.", Nat stated.

"We'll put out the fire and meet you there.", Tony said as he jogged barefoot to get Pepper and the others in the back yard.

Chris shouted to Tony while putting on his own jacket, "Take (Y/N)'s keys to lock the house!"

"Got it!", Tony called back over his shoulder just before disappearing out the back door.

Chris pulled you into him snugly, stroking your hair as Nat rubbed your back. You had already started to cry quietly. He spoke softly, his cheek resting on your head, tears starting to fill his own eyes. His voice was thick with emotion as he tried to hold it together, "It's gonna be okay, baby." He released you and turned you toward the door, "Let's go."

You, Chris and Nat headed for the car.

He just kept repeating the words in this head in attempt to make himself believe it, _'It's gonna be okay, it's gonna be okay, it's gonna be okay... please... I hope it's gonna be okay...'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> O.O
> 
> :'(
> 
> Let me know what you think. Thanks for the comments and kudos, they keep me going.
> 
> Love you guys.
> 
> XOXO


	83. Fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> "Why?!", she called from behind you both before reaching you, taking your hand tightly, the others in tow.
> 
> "She's bleeding.", Chris answered, helping you into your jacket.
> 
> "I'm coming with you.", Nat stated.
> 
> "We'll put out the fire and meet you there.", Tony said as he jogged barefoot to get Pepper and the others in the back yard.
> 
> Chris shouted to Tony while putting on his own jacket, "Take (Y/N)'s keys to lock the house!"
> 
> "Got it!", Tony called back over his shoulder just before disappearing out the back door.
> 
> Chris pulled you into him snugly, stroking your hair as Nat rubbed your back. You had already started to cry quietly. He spoke softly, his cheek resting on your head, tears starting to fill his own eyes. His voice was thick with emotion as he tried to hold it together, "It's gonna be okay, baby." He released you and turned you toward the door, "Let's go."
> 
> You, Chris and Nat headed for the car.
> 
> He just kept repeating the words in this head in attempt to make himself believe it, _'It's gonna be okay, it's gonna be okay, it's gonna be okay... please... I hope it's gonna be okay...'_

On the way, you told Chris about how the baby hadn't moved much that day and that you hadn't felt him moving for the past couple hours.

Chris carried you into the ER as Nat rushed ahead to the counter, "My friend is pregnant and she's bleeding."

"Okay.", the nurse turned and told an orderly, "Get her a wheelchair and into a room." She turned back to Nat, "We'll get her the proper forms."

"Thank you.", Nat returned.

The orderly came around the counter with the wheelchair and addressed Chris, "Sir..."

Chris's face hardened. "No, I'm gonna carry her.", he said sternly.

You had your inside hand over your belly, the other gripping Chris's vest desperately, your head against the crook of his neck. Your breath was catching with silent sobs every few moments, your face wet with tears. You were terrified. Your small sounds tore at his heart and he really didn't want to let go of you.

The orderly led Chris to a room, Nat following. Chris reluctantly set you on the bed as the orderly spoke, "Someone will be in a moment." He then left.

Nat sat in a chair against the wall as Chris sat on the bed facing you, putting his hand on your thigh. His expression barely concealed his own distress as he put his other hand to the side of you head, stroking your cheek with his thumb while he looked in your eyes and you blinked through tears at him as he spoke, "Don't worry, little love, we're gonna get this taken care of, okay?" He had already told you it was going to be okay... even though he honestly didn't know it would. He didn't want to lie to you again. So, he just tried to say what he could to comfort you. "Let's not worry too much until we know what's going on, okay? Could be nothing." He attempted a reassuring smile, which almost didn't show on his face.

Your breath hitched twice as you went to speak, your voice becoming instantly strained and tears started pouring. "I can't go through it again, Chris. I can't-", your statement was cut short by a myriad of loud sobs as you squeezed your eyes shut and hunched forward, your body jerking with each sound, your face in your hands. So fucking scared.

Nat's face twisted and tears started falling from her own eyes.

Chris scooted closer quickly, and took you securely in his arms, his own voice becoming laced with emotion and tears welling in his eyes, "Shh, no, no, no. Baby, don't think like that. Okay?" He stroked your hair.

You continued to sob into his shoulder as he held you tight. His mind was racing. What could he do? Say? He wanted to be sure things were okay so he could tell you they would be, but there was no way to know. He felt so helpless; inadequate. He was supposed to be your strength, your steadiness... your hero. _'You're supposed to be her safe place. Fucking say something, Chris. Do something!'_ , his mind shouted. He was so scared himself. _'Say something! Anything! Don't let her be alone in her fear... Don't leave her alone in this...'_ "I'm scared too, baby girl. But, we need to stay positive. No more negative talk."

You pulled back and took a deep jagged breath, "Okay, I'll try." You sniffed and wiped at your eyes.

One corner of his mouth pulled up slightly. He put a curled finger under your chin and kissed your lips gingerly.

"Oh.", you looked down, your hands went to your stomach.

He put his hands over yours, his face worried, his words rushed, "Whatsa matter?"

You smiled a little, your eyebrows pulling up in the center, "He's moving." You let out a heavy breath and Nat smiled softly.

Chris's face relaxed slightly, "See? He's moving; he's still with us, okay?" He leaned over to talk against your belly, "You're not going anywhere are ya, little man?" His question was answered with another movement that you both felt. Chris sighed, then spoke softly, "That's my boy."

You both felt relieved; at least you knew your son was alive. You got the paperwork filled out, a nurse took your vitals, then a doctor and technician with an ultrasound machine came in. You reclined a bit and the techinician waited. The doctor asked you questions while giving you a vaginal exam.

"How far are you, (Y/N)?", she asked, smiling warmly at you.

"31 weeks.", you swallowed thickly as she put on a glove and squirted some lube on it.

"What are your having?", she poked around inside you with a couple gloved fingers, gently pushing around on the outside your stomach with the other hand. 

"A boy." The baby protested by moving around profusely. You smiled a little at that.

"Ooh, he doesn't like that.", she chuckled. "Alright, little sir, I'm done." She pulled back and you could see the blood on her glove as she took it off and tossed it in the trash, then covering your lower half again. "Everything feels fine and there's not really enough blood to be concerned. The baby's movements are more than enough. Have you had any cramping?"

"Yes. I had some earlier this evening before I noticed the blood."

"Anything else you noticed?"

"Yeah, the baby wasn't moving a lot today and I didn't feel anything for about 2 hours."

She nodded, "Later in pregnancy, the baby sometimes goes longer periods without moving because there isn't as much room to move around anymore. Sometimes it can be easy not to notice or remember movements if you're really busy. Ideally, you want to feel at least 10 movements within 2 hours. If you think he's being inactive, sit still and time his movements. You'll likely feel 10 movements in less time than that. How about sex?"

You were started to feel better about the situation already and hitched up one side of your mouth, smirking, "No, thank you. I'm married."

Everyone laughed, yourself included. Chris grinned lovingly at you, blinking.

She rephrased her question, "Have you had sex recently?"

"Yes," you grinned again. You were having fun with this. "I also had some of that earlier this evening."

She chortled, "Okay. So, it sounds like you're having a bit of pre-term labor, but it appears mild. So, no strenuous activity the rest of the pregnancy."

You hitched your mouth to one side and looked at Chris.

He nodded, eyebrows raised, "That means no more running, mama."

The doctor agreed, "Right. Also, this late in pregnancy, sex can irritate the cervix, causing some bleeding. Your bleeding should stop by tomorrow. If it doesn't, or it happens again, come in or see your OB. We're still gonna do an ultrasound just to make sure that everything looks good with your little boy. But, I'm sure he's fine, okay?"

"Can we still have sex?", you blurted out, pointing between you and Chris.

Everyone chuckled a bit and Chris looked surprised as he huffed out a tiny laugh, "Jesus, honey." He shook his head.

"Well...", you trailed off, shrugging. You couldn't go just over two months without Chris inside you. You'd shrivel up with want and blow away.

The doctor nodded, smiling, "Yes, just be gentle, not vigorous, and make sure penetration isn't deep enough to touch the cervix."

She glanced at Chris expectantly and he crossed his heart with a finger and held up his hand, "I swear."

She said goodbye and left the technician to do the scan; your son was perfectly fine.

You were given a menstrual pad and a couple extras along with disposable pair of underwear to wear home. Luckily, there hadn't been a terrible amount of blood and you had put that towel Chris grabbed between your legs before you sat in the car. Everyone was in the waiting room when you came out. Nat had been texting Bruce while you were being checked out, giving him simple updates. They were so relieved that everything was okay, all of them hugging both you and Chris.

Everyone retired to their homes for the evening and once you and Chris got home, he started you a warm shower and joined you after you asked to be able to clean yourself up first. He took advantage of the time and got the rest of that damn adhesive out of his hair with olive oil without any problem.

He stepped in the shower and took you in his arms from behind, kissing your head and stroking your belly as he turned his back to the water stepping into it to let it run over both of you, "You know, I wanna hold you in that pool while you have our son. You don't have to feel ashamed or uncomfortable about anything that's coming out of your body, sweetheart. I'm not."

You titled your head, touching his lightly, your hands on his forearms, "Okay, hero. Just promise that if you do get uncomfortable, don't feel like you have to deal with it anyway.", you chuckled.

"Alright, little mama. Promise." He moved your hair and kissed your neck. "I'm so grateful everything turned out for the better tonight. I don't know what I wouldn've done if...", he trailed off, not able to even speak the thought.

You sighed, "Me too, babe... me too."

He just held you under the soothing water for a long while, letting the warmth melt into you both, relaxing you.

He whispered in your ear, "I love you, (Y/N)." He then gave your ear a light kiss.

You closed your eyes in contentment, feeling yourself getting sleepy, "I love you, Chris. So much."

You both got ready for and in bed. Chris read to the baby and then you fell asleep in his arms as he tickled your shoulder, side, back and belly with light fingertips, lulling you into a deep sleep quickly.

Once you were out, he kissed your head and closed his own eyes. He felt like the luckiest man on earth... especially considering how things could have gone that night. There wasn't enough gratitude in the world to convey how he felt.

His consciousness slipped away as he started to think about names for the baby...


	84. Dawn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> You both got ready for and in bed. Chris read to the baby and then you fell asleep in his arms as he tickled your shoulder, side, back and belly with light fingertips, lulling you into a deep sleep quickly.
> 
> Once you were out, he kissed your head and closed his own eyes. He felt like the luckiest man on earth... especially considering how things could have gone that night. There wasn't enough gratitude in the world to convey how he felt.
> 
> His consciousness slipped away as he started to think about names for the baby...

Thanksgiving had come and gone, with Christmas fast approaching. You were just a couple weeks away from your due date. You hadn't had anymore bleeding or cramping, but all this being lazy business was making you nuts. You could only walk for excercise and Chris did his damnedest to let you do even less than before. This caused a quite a few playful arguments and you even snapped at him on more than one occasion over his fussing. He would reluctantly back down, jaw clenched. He wanted to do everything for you and protect you and the baby at all costs, but when you got fed up, he knew he had probably gone overboard. You loved how much he took care of you... and he knew that. So, if you were telling him to back off, he knew that you only were because he was smothering you.

During those weeks that passed, you started thinking about how you had told Sebastian that you thought the baby you lost with him would come back to you when the time was right. Had that baby come back to you and Chris now? The thought made you happy. It gave you butterflies to think that Sebastian might somehow live on with you and Chris.

You laid down for a nap early one Saturday afternoon while Chris had gone outside to remove snow. You were wearing a tank top, one of Chris's hoodie jackets and a pair of his sweatpants and some fluffy pink socks. He scolded you playfull a few times about how his big boy was stretching out his pants, but he gave up on ever getting them back a couple weeks earlier.

You cuddled up under a pile of blankets, having dragged each one from a different place in the house and to the bed. You wrapped your arms and legs around the body pillow that Chris had gotten for you a while ago. You closed your eyes, listening to the sound of the snow blower out front and enjoying the smell of the heat coming out of the vents inside the house. You always loved that smell; the aroma instantly made you feel cozy... it was terribly comforting. Your son shifted around in your belly for a moment to get comfortable with you, you smiling softly at his movements and he then stilled. You soon fell fast asleep.

When you woke, it was dark. You felt entirely too warm and you were thirsty as hell. You blinked groggily and sat up as the fog of sleep lifted. You rubbed an eye with your fingertips and listened. The house was quiet. You took a deep breath and shoved the blankets off, scooting to the edge of the bed.

You stood and gulped down the rest of the bottle of water you had on the nightstand. "Let's go find Daddy.", you said quietly to the baby. You padded out of the bedroom and stopped just outside the door, blinking in the near dark. There was a glow coming from the basement; the TV.

You wrapped Chris's oversized jacket around you snugly and headed for the stairs and down them, sleep lifting more from your mind with each step. You could start to hear the TV as you descended.

Once you reached the bottom of the stairs, you saw Chris and Sam on the couch, watching a sitcom, each holding a beer. Your movement caught Chris's eye and he turned his head, catching Sam's attention as he leaned forward to set his beer on the coffee table as he spoke, "Hey, beautiful."

Sam greeted you as you were already starting to lean over the back of the couch to hug on Chris. You said hi back and gave Chris a quick kiss as he leaned against the couch back, tilting his head up while reaching and trying to wrap his arms around you, "How'd you sleep?"

"Super great.", you murmured.

You straightened and his hands kept a hold of yours for a second, "C'mere."

"Gotta pee.", you huffed out a chuckle, heading for the basement bathroom.

"Right.", he chortled. "Hurry back, I miss you, little mama."

Sam scoffed and gave Chris a teasing look, "Awww."

Chris laughed softly and shook his head, "Drink your beer."

"Nah, man. It's sweet.", Sam grinned.

Once you came back, you rounded the couch and went to Chris. He stopped you in front of him, loving on your belly before you sat and he spoke, "I can't believe how huge you've gotten, honey."

You turned your head a bit, scowling at him slightly. Sam's eyebrows popped up, wondering how Chris would recover from that one.

Chris's face got panicked, "I- I'm not- No." He shook his head quickly, his voice coming out shrill at first, "No! Just-" You were very slowly starting to look amused as he went on, "I mean you're just so little that you're really poking out. Our son is big... that's what I meant."

You kissed his lips quickly, "You're so cute." You cuddled up against his side, curling up your legs as he put an arm over your shoulders, looking at Sam wide-eyed, who was chuckling.

Chris kissed your head and tickled your arm as you spoke, "You guys didn't have to have the TV so quiet."

He reached for the remote and turned it up, chuckling, "I told him you could sleep through anything now, but he wouldn't let me turn it up even a little."

Sam added, "Hey, I'm not 'bout to come up in ya house and make noise while baby mama's sleepin'."

You laughed, "That's sweet, Sam. But's it's really okay."

Chris kissed your head again, "I'm gonna order some pizza." You leaned away from him so he could get up. "Can I get you anything while I'm up there, baby girl?"

"A water please... and Nutella."

He walked around the sectional, "You want it on anything?"

"A spoon, thank you."

He and Sam chuckled as he reached the stairs, "Alright." He headed upstairs.

Just after six o'clock the next morning, it was still dark and you woke up to cramping in your belly. Chris was on his back, snoring softly, with a hand on your thigh. You took a few slow deep breaths and waited for it to pass... more pre-term labor, right? You still had a couple weeks. It wasn't time yet- Was it? _'Okay, breath. Just breath.'_ The cramping faded, so you relaxed and drifted off again.

You woke again to the same sensation, but stronger. You groaned quietly and looked at the clock, it had been just over twenty minutes. You let out a breath you didn't realize you had been holding. You suddenly got really nervous. _'Oh, God. This is it, isn't it? How the fuck am I going to do this? Oh, God.'_

"Chris.", you said shakily, sitting up.

He shifted. "I got you the strawberry ones, sweetheart...", he mumbled in his sleep.

"Chris.", you shook his shoulder gently. He started to wake, then you groaned louder at the feeling like pliers clamping down on your insides a bit stronger.

He shot up to sit at hearing your distressed noise, his hand went to your thigh again, "What? What's wrong?"

"We need to call Shar. I think it's time."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHO'S READY FOR OUR BOUNCING BABY BOY?!?!


	85. Horizon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> "Chris.", you shook his shoulder gently. He started to wake, then you groaned louder at the feeling like pliers clamping down on your insides a bit stronger.
> 
> He shot up to sit at hearing your distressed noise, his hand went to your thigh again, "What? What's wrong?"
> 
> "We need to call Shar. I think it's time."

**Note:** Yes, your midwife is your aunt. Yes, she's going to be seeing your koochie-coo and even checking it for dialation. I would be okay with that personally, so you're gonna be okay with that, right? Because honestly, we're looking at welcoming a tiny life into the world... Chris's baby boy... this is nothing sexual, but something beautiful and precious... it's gonna be wonderful. I hope you can think of it the same way. XOXO

____________________

Chris called Shar and she said she'd be right over. Her assistant, Steph would be coming with her. All the equipment Shar would need including the pool had been brought over and stored as soon as you both agreed on how you wanted things to go. At that time, the reading area had also already had all the furniture pushed to the walls to allow room to set up the pool.

You layed on your side, a dull aching everpresent now. You were just waiting for the next contraction, almost dreading it. Those first two were no picnic. They were pretty far apart still, thank God. You breathed deeply to try to calm your nerves. You were a little scared, but kept telling yourself that women have been doing this for thousands of years and that you would get the best reward for it all once it was over.

Once Chris got off the phone with Shar, he scooted up behind you, as close as he could. He spoke softly, "C'mere, love." He slid his lower arm under your head, his other arm snaking entirely around your ribs, holding you close. He could hear and feel your deep breaths easily. You were trembling slightly.

As soon as he had woken up enough and understood that you were in labor, he had gone to a new height of being loving and protective than he had ever been. The side of him where his own insecurities and needs didn't even exist had emerged and it was all about taking care of you and his baby now. He was calm and confident, strong and steady... for you and your son. He just kept surprising you with how much more he had to give.

He could sense your apprehension and fear. He kissed the back of your head and spoke low, his voice deep and reassuring, "You're gonna do great, baby. I'm gonna be right here with you, okay? You're amazing. I love you."

You nodded in short, quick jerks, your voice just above a whisper, "Okay. I love you."

"Anything I can do for you, sweetheart?", he asked lovingly.

You rolled over to face him, burying your face in his bare chest as he wrapped his arms around you completely, "Just hold me. I'm so nervous."

He rubbed you upper back gently, "Of course, my sweet little love. I'm gonna hold you as much as you'll let me." You were still trembling a bit, so he asked, pulling up the covers more, "Are you cold?"

"A little.", you offered.

"I can go turn up the heat."

"Don't go anywhere. All I need is you right now, Chris. You'll warm me up... you always do."

His heart swelled knowing how much you needed him as he stroked your hair gently. "Okay, baby girl. Try to rest. Sleep if you can. I'm not going anywhere." He kissed your head.

His warmth relaxed you quickly, just as you knew it would. You had turned your face upward, your ear against his chest. His heartbeat was steady; strong. That combined with his scent and warmth lulled you to sleep quickly.

You woke again some time later to another contraction gripping your insides like a vice. You whimpered out as you woke and Chris held onto you tighter as his voice was low, "Contraction?"

"Mm-hm.", you whined, trying to breath deeply.

He stroked your hair softly, "Okay, just focus on your breath, my voice and think about our little boy and how he's coming to see us soon."

His words were so comforting and did well to get you through the pain. The gnawing sensation subsided and you relaxed in his embrace once again.

More time passed and the doorbell rang to signal Shar and Steph's arrival. It was now almost 7:30 AM.

"I'm gonna get the door, love.", Chris shifted, taking his arms from around you. "I'll be right back." He stroked your hair once more and kissed your head as you nodded.

He returned with Shar in tow, Steph following. He laid on the bed with you again and she came to your other side to sit as you rolled to your back, "Heyyy, sweetie." She took your hand and rubbed the back of it with her other hand. "We ready to have a baby?"

You chortled nervously, "Well, I guess so, I don't really have a choice."

She huffed out a laugh, "It's gonna be great, (Y/N). You'll see. You've got your amazing husband here,", she hitched her head at Chris, "and I've been doing this for 20 years. Everything's gonna be fine, okay?" She smiled softly at you. She turned, "This is Steph, she's gonna be helping us today." Steph greeted you and shook your hand gingerly. Shar continued, "Now, Steph and I are also here for other support as well. We can make you stuff to eat, get you drinks, help you go to the bathroom. Whatever you need. That way, Chris can stay with you more, okay?"

"I can eat?", you asked surprised. You had always heard about how hospitals never let women eat during labor.

She chortled, "Of course. In fact you should, delivering a baby is a lot of work for your body. You're gonna need that energy. Have you eaten this morning?"

"No."

"Okay. Let's check your dialation and then we'll get you some breakfast." She stood. "So are we feeling shy or confident right now?", she asked, gauging whether you wanted to be covered as much as possible while she checked you.

You huffed out a laugh, "I don't care. My stuff's gonna be exposed a lot today, I'm sure."

"Okay.", she grinned. "You may want to change into something like a short, comfortable dress so that we can check you easily as the labor progresses. You can wear underwear or not; whatever makes you comfortable. Most women go with a dress, a sports bra or bikini top underneath for the pool... or some deliver completely nude. Has your water broke?"

"No." You pulled off your pants and underwear as she went to wash her hands and returned. Chris held you with his forehead against your temple as she checked you, squinting. When she was done, Steph handed her a antiseptic wipe for her hands as she spoke, "Looks like you're at about a 2. We've got a good amount of time ahead at this point. We'll get the pool set up when you're halfway dialated." The pool could be filled with hoses attached to an indoor faucet. It had it's own heating elements to keep the water warm.

Steph spoke, "What clothes can I get you and where are they?" She was smiling so sweetly and her voice was so cute.

"Um, I have a coral t-shirt nightgown and a black sports bra in the top left drawer of the dresser.", you pointed to the dresser past the foot of the bed and Steph went to get them.

Shar asked, "What would you like to eat?"

"Uhhh...", you thought about what you had in the kitchen. "We have fruit and cottage cheese. I think I'd like that."

"Mmm, sounds good. Coming right up.", she said, turning for the kitchen.

"Oh.", you called after her once she disappeared. "Feel free to help yourselves at any time to anything."

Steph handed you your clothes, "Thank you.", she said.

You thanked her and she left, closing the door to go prepare things for the journey ahead.

You scooted to the edge of the bed to change, opting to leave off your underwear off. Chris knelt and walked on his knees to be behind you, rubbing your arms softly with his palms whenever you weren't pulling clothing off of or onto them. "I can't believe how close I want to be with you right now, sweetheart. If at any time I'm fussing over you too much, please let me know. Okay? Just tell me to give you some space. Because I can't help but want to be attached to you right now." He let out a huff of a laugh.

You finished pulling on your nightgown and stood, turning. You put your arms around his neck, his hands going to your waist. You smiled down at him and blinked slowly, "I will, honey. But, I hope that doesn't happen, because I want to be close to you right now too."

He blinked, his face soft as your bent forward and kissed his lips. Your tender kiss was interrupted by a wave of twisting discomfort; another contraction. Your head went to his shoulder as you let out a low groan. He wrapped his arms around you, under your arms quickly to support you fully. "You wanna sit, baby?", he asked, concerned.

You let out a small hum through the tightening, "Mm-mm. Just-", you breathed out. "Hold me."

"Okay.", he whispered, kissing your shoulder.

Once it passed, you took a few relieved breaths. "I need to pee.", you chortled.

He guided you out of the room and towards the bathroom as he spoke to Shar who was cutting fruit, "Just had another contraction."

"Oh, wonderful.", she looked up from her work for a beat.

"That's what you think.", you grumbled.

She chuckled as you and Chris disappeared into the bathroom, leaving the door open. No one here that wasn't going to see everything anyway. "I know, sweetie. It's super unpleasant, but it's such a small window of time compared to the joy that baby will bring you." She knew, having had two children of her own in just the same way that you would be; at home, without drugs, naturally. "Breakfast is almost ready.", she called to you.

Once you were finished you washed your hands and headed to the kitchen, Chris supporting you as you walked. He knew his back was gonna be killing him later with all this hunching he was doing to support you. You sat at the table and Chris sat with you, his hand stroking your thigh under the table, his mouth curled into a soft smile. Shar brought two bowls to the table for you and Chris.

"Thank you, Shar.", you smiled weakly. You picked up your fork and stabbed a piece of cantaloupe. You were starting to feel drained already. You had no idea how you would endure however long this might take.

Chris interrupted your thoughts when he spoke with a mouthful of food, "When do you wanna call our friends, baby?"

You had just put the fruit in your mouth when he started. You covered your mouth with a hand, trying to chew quickly, then swallowed, your voice meek, "Now is fine, babe."

You and Chris had decided that you would invite the circle of friends over during the labor if they wanted to come. You would designate the family room downstairs as where they would mostly hang out. They weren't forbidden from coming upstairs to visit or come and go from the house, but the living room would be off limits since that would be where you were delivering and you didn't want everyone in there. They would use the back door to arrive, go out for food or anything else they might need to leave for.

It was getting to be afternoon and all those who were coming had shown up; all but the Bartons. Them having kids made it difficult for them to always be able to show up with the group. When Nat came to say hi, you had invited her to stay with you if she wanted, right through the birth. She was tickled and more than happy to stay with you. She helped Chris keep you comfortable and stayed with you any time he needed to do something; even daddies have to piss sometimes.

You had found that bent over or kneeling was the most comfortable. Walking also helped, so you did a bit of shuffling around the house from time to time. You also had told Chris you wanted macaroni and cheese for lunch. He informed you that no restaurant that made it was open, since it was Sunday and that you didn't have the stuff to make it from scratch. You then told him you were craving the crappy boxed stuff... and some chocolate milk. Everyone had a little chuckle at that. Nat went downstairs and sent Bruce to the grocery store to get some. Everyone was doing an outstanding job of contributing to such a peaceful, secure and comfortable atmosphere for you. You had the best people in the world in your life. You felt so blessed to be having such a transcendently wonderful birth.

A while after lunch, Nat had put on some soft, relaxing music in the bedroom. She was also making sure you stayed hydrated, giving you drinks of water periodically. You were bent over the bed, standing, your head on your folded arms on the matress and your belly hanging down unobstructed, during another contraction. You were squeezing Chris's hand as he was on his side next to you, legs hanging off the bed, propped up on his elbow. Your deep breaths where coming out in a mantra of long, low hums as you swayed your hips side to side slightly. You let yourself experience the pain, the tightness the pressure. By now, you had accepted the process and let yourself be present in it. You wanted to fully experience every facet of the birth of your baby. That's how it was meant to be.

Chris was partly hunched over you, his head resting against yours as you worked through it. He was rubbing your lower back with the heel his free hand, cooing quietly through your hair, into your ear, "You're doing great, sweetheart. You're so amazing and strong." He kissed your head and then rested his lips against it.

You barely registered what he was saying, but his touch, his soft voice, encouraging words and his calm energy really urged you on through the torturous and relentless contraction pains that only rose in intensity each time. _'I can do this. It's gonna be beautiful. My baby boy is coming.'_

You started to tear up at the thought as the contraction subsided. You were starting to feel emotionally desperate for the end game of all this discomfort. You whimpered out quietly, your voice slightly muffled by your position, "I wanna hold my baby boy."

Chris's brows pulled up in the center in sympathy as he kissed your head again, "I know, baby. I know. He'll be here before you know it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was turning into an entirely too long chapter. So, the second half will be posted tonight as an additional chapter. I'm already almost done with it.
> 
> You guys know I LIVE for comments. Please leave me one; I love it when you all share your thoughts.
> 
> XOXO


	86. Welcome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> Chris was partly hunched over you, his head resting against yours as you worked through it. He was rubbing your lower back with the heel his free hand, cooing quietly through your hair, into your ear, "You're doing great, sweetheart. You're so amazing and strong." He kissed your head and then rested his lips against it.
> 
> You barely registered what he was saying, but his touch, his soft voice, encouraging words and his calm energy really urged you on through the torturous and relentless contraction pains that only rose in intensity each time. 'I can do this. It's gonna be beautiful. My baby boy is coming.'
> 
> You started to tear up at the thought as the contraction subsided. You were starting to feel emotionally desperate for the end game of all this discomfort. You whimpered out quietly, your voice slightly muffled by your position, "I wanna hold my baby boy."
> 
> Chris's brows pulled up in the center in sympathy as he kissed your head again, "I know, baby. I know. He'll be here before you know it."

**Song: Surround You by Echosmith**  
Such a beautiful song. When I listen to it, I think of Chris and reader's entire relationship since they met. I picture him, watching her in awe in the dim light of the bowling alley as she talks with Seb the night they met. Their friendship, laughing together, affectionate glances, cuddling, ALL THOSE CHEEK, HEAD AND FOREHEAD KISSES, him wanting her, him being hurt when her and Seb got together, him holding her when Seb died, her crawling into his bed with him to sleep in his arms for the first time since Seb passed. Him leaving, him coming back... I see them kissing when he returns... the first time they made love. I see him holding her from behind, rubbing her cute little baby bump, kissing her cheek with her hands over his while he does, seeing both their wedding rings. All the touches, kisses, love and protection he's given her... and now this chapter... and beyond. It's everything they've been through... It's THEIR SONG. It makes me cry. It wrecks me.

Listen to it before, listen to it during, listen to it after. It's so perfect.

____________________

Shar and Steph were just finishing filling the birthing pool with warm water since you were dialated to a 5 last time Shar checked. Nat came into the room with a hot pack she'd just warmed in the microwave for you. She sat to your other side and handed it to Chris, then rubbed your upper back with a light hand as Chris placed the pack gently on your lower back.

You hummed, "Mmm. Thank you, love." He kissed your head again and stroked your arm in response.

"Okay,", Shar entered the room. "Let's check you again, sweetie." She placed a hand on your back and waited for your consent.

"Kay,", you breathed, not moving "go ahead."

She proceeded, "Oh, my. You're at a six already. I'll check you again in five minutes. I think you're moving faster now. May not be much longer."

She checked you again after five minutes and you were dialated to seven. "Everybody in the pool!", she chirped. "Won't be long now!"

Chris went to the restroom to change into his swim trunks as Shar and Nat walked you to the small pool and got you in with only your sports bra on. The pool was small enough that Shar could reach you to assist when needed, no matter how you might be positioned. The warm water was so soothing, surrounding your whole body as you lowered into it.

When Chris came out you were sitting on your heels, knees open, hunched over the side. Nat was holding your hands as you were having another contraction, humming through it again. He crouched down, taking Nat's place, who then sat in one of the chairs against the wall. "Hey, baby,", he cooed, "sorry I'm late.", he smiled softly, referring to not being there when the contraction started.

You huffed out a small chuckle and lifted your head to kiss his lips, "I forgive you."

He waited for the contraction to pass with his forehead to yours and then asked, "Can I come in?"

You started to straighten to give him room, taking a deep breath, "Yes, please."

He kissed your head, stood and stepped in. You turned to lay back against his chest once he sat. He held you and lovingly rubbed soft cirlcles over either side of your belly, his cheek against your head, "I'm so proud of you, little love. You're doing so well. We get to meet him soon. I'm so excited."

"Me too.", you breathed, smiling, your stomach fluttering at the thought.

Shar positioned herself in front of you on her knees outside the pool, "Okay, (Y/N), one more check..." She felt inside you, then continued, "You're water still hasn't broken yet, so I need to do it. You won't feel anything, okay? Easy peasy."

You nodded as Steph handed her something that looked like a crochet hook. She inserted it, made a small movement, removed the tool, then handed it back to Steph and felt with her fingers again, "Okay, we're in and you are at an 8, young lady. Things should go pretty quickly now."

That was no lie; another contraction hit you quickly and this one was stronger than any that had come before. You lifted your hips, groaned, trying to breath evenly through it, gripping Chris's hands, fingers interlaced, your eyes squeezing shut. "Ah! God!" Your voice then came out nearly a growl, "Oooooooh." You then whimpered and panted.

"There we go.", Shar said low. "I know, sweetie, it's rough now, but it's gonna go quick. Your baby will be here soon."

Chris spoke softly against your ear, holding his arms steady so you could push against his hands with your own, "Okay, baby, okay. It'll be over in a moment. Just hang on."

Once it was over you whined slightly, "I need to get on my knees,", you started to get up, Chris helping you.

Shar spoke, "Turn around and I can press on your lower back to ease it."

You turned, now facing Chris who was also on his knees, sitting back on his heels, close to you. He wrapped his arms around your ribs to hold your upper body close to him. He put his forehead to yours and whispered, "I love you, beautiful."

You whispered back, "I love you, Chris."

He kissed your forehead and a few more moments later your respite was already over, another wave of agony washing over you. You face twisted, your head dropped to his shoulder and you started panting. "I feel like I need to push!", you cried out, gripping at the back of Chris's neck, the other hand grasping his bicep.

He laid his head against yours as Shar warned, "Not yet. You have to be fully dialated, sweetie."

"Ah, Jesus.", you muttered, breath labored through the remaining pain.

She checked you again, "Almost!" She actually kept her fingers there so she could give you the green light as soon as possible.

You were panting, and whimpering under your breath, your head hanging, shaking it side to side slightly. You were starting to cry, "I can't- I can't do this."

Chris's voice came out commanding as he dipped his head, still holding you, "Look at me."

"I can't..."

"(Y/N), look at me, baby."

You lifted your head, tears in your eyes. He put his forehead to yours, "You can do this, my little love. I'm right here. I've got you. Everyone's here for you. You're not alone. You're strong. Our son wants to meet you. You can do this, okay?"

Your sobs were catching and the tears were streaming down your cheeks as you nodded against his head. The next contraction hit and you cried out, burying your face in his neck.

Shar removed her hand and called out, "Push, (Y/N). Go! Push!"

You bore down and gave it all you had in you... and then burning at your opening came. You threw your head back, "Ahhhh! Jesus Christ! It burns!"

Chris winced at your words.

"It burns 'cause he's crowning, (Y/N). His head is coming. You're doing perfect, hon. Keep pushing and push whenever you feel you need to now.", Shar assured.

You gave one more good push and the pressure lessened slightly as Shar stated, "Head's out. A few more pushes should do it. You're doing great."

"I need a second.", you were feeling so weak.

Chris looked down, saw the top of the baby's head in the shadows between your legs. He let out a soft chortle, his eyes glistening with tears, "I can see him."

You touched the side of your head to his and panted into his ear, "Catch."

"What?", he asked.

"Catch our son, Chris."

You could hear his breath getting jagged with emotion and anxiousness. He was shaking so slightly as he removed his arms from your ribs, your hands staying on his shoulders for support. He reached down and gently cradled the baby's head in his hands. He was touching his son. He took in a sharp breath, getting choked up and he whispered, feeling overwhelmed at the experience, "Oh my God."

You felt the urge to push again and strained; groaning, whimpering and panting as you did.

Shar rushed around to behind Chris, her hand on his upper back to coach him, "Keep one hand under his head and neck, Chris. Support his body with the other as he slides out." She kneeled so she could supervise.

He nodded, finding his confidence quickly, "Okay."

Steph had already stepped into the pool barefoot, pants rolled up, ready to support you from behind once the baby was out.

"Keep pushing, (Y/N). This is the home stretch. Just a couple more.", Shar urged.

You pushed again and the baby started moving outward... painfully slow as the shoulders began to work their way out, "Ah, God.", you huffed. You knew you needed to push harder, but you were getting tired.

Your forehead was against Chris's again as he looked into your eyes and encouraged you, "He's almost here, baby. One more. Just one more. You can do it."

His words gave you the strength you needed. You took a long, deep breath and bore down hard and pushed for as long and as strong as you possibly could, willing your body to spend every ounce of energy it had left. All that overwhelming pressure left you in a whoosh... and he was out.

You let out a relieved and joyous sob as Chris scooped him up out of the water and handed him to you quickly as you started to sit back on your heels, Steph ready to support you if needed. The tears came for you and Chris quickly. He wrapped his arms gently around you and kissed your head as you held your son against your chest and he started making tiny grunts and whimpers. Chris whispered, "God, I love you so much, baby. He's beautiful." He moved to behind you and Steph gave him the space. He sat back against the side of the pool and guided you to sit back against his front.

You were sobbing softly as Chris held you with one arm, looking over your shoulder and stroked the baby's head with a tender hand. You could hear and feel his breath catching with emotion against your back as you cooed to your baby, his eyes still closed, his tiny body wiggling around a bit, "Hi, my sweet boy."

Shar came to finish clearing his airway and he let out a tiny, but shrill cry. "Oh!", you exclaimed. "He's got a good set of lungs." You all chuckled.

You looked at Nat and her hands were over her mouth and nose, she was full blown crying. She stood and came to you, kneeling and stroking your hair, "Good job, mama. He's gorgeous." She smiled lovingly and sniffed.

"Thank you.", you returned.

"Hey, I helped- ...with the gorgeous part.", Chris interjected and there were soft chuckles.

Nat smiled, "Good job, Dad."

He returned her expression.

Once the cord had been cut and taken care of, you attempted to let the baby nurse for a while, still in the pool with Chris. He tried latching on for a few moments and then fell asleep in your arms.

"Little dude's exhausted.", Shar cooed. "You can try again soon, sweetie. Being born is hard work."

The three of you got out and took a warm shower together to get cleaned up. Chris had a hard time letting you hold the baby in the shower, he had waited so long to hold him, he just didn't want to stop. So you washed the tiny boy gently as Chris supported his sleeping little balled up body against his warm chest, his large hands surrounding him. You guessed Chris's heartbeat would comfort your son and have the same sleep inducing effect for him as it always had on you.

You then got out, dried off and changed into clean clothes. Chris put a diaper on the baby and you all settled into the bed, you propped up on pillows with him on your chest. You tried to nurse the baby once more, but he just wasn't staying awake, so you swaddled him tightly with Shar's help and just held him. Chris was settled on an elbow next to you, just admiring his son lovingly and stroking his downy hair. He glanced at you, smiling softly... so much love in his eyes, "You were phenomenal, sweetheart. I love you so much." He leaned in and kissed your lips, so gently.

Your stomach fluttered and you smiled back, "I love you, Chris."

He went back to gazing at your son. That look on his face made you want to do this all over again. But... maybe you'd give it some time first.

Nat came in and asked if everyone could come see the baby now. They had known when the he was born; they did, after all, hear your loud noises during delivery and then shortly after, Nat confirmed it. But, they had been waiting patiently until you and Chris had had sufficient bonding time alone with him first. You agreed and she beamed brightly before leaving the room.

Everyone shuffled in, their faces bright. They all gathered around the sides of the bed to get a closer look as Chris, stroked the baby's head again, grinning proudly and said, "Everyone, I'd like you to meet Connor Sebastian Evans."

You looked at Chris and smiled, your eyes filling with tears... as were his. He smiled softly and kissed your lips.

Everyone started to tear up a little over this sweet tiny human that had joined their ranks and in remembering his namesake.

Sam slapped both hands on Chris's shoulders, from behind him and gave him a shake as Chris chuckled and smiled, "Congrats, Daddy." He tilted his head at you, "And pretty mama."

"Thank you.", you beamed.

Everyone said their congrats as Chris took the baby and stood, giving everyone a more intimate hello and a few holding him. Once everyone had visited, they all trickled out and headed home intermittently after some chatting.

Shar made you and Chris loaded turkey and avocado sandwiches for dinner as Steph broke everything down and cleaned up, Shar helping her after she served you both in bed. Shar had even offered to stay the night. You accepted since you were a first time mom and could use the help... you really had no idea what you were doing.

Steph headed home and Chris got the rail installed on the bed and got Shar set up for the night. She insisted on sleeping on the couch in the living room to be closer than the guest room in the basement to help you, should you need it in the night.

You and Chris were ready for bed early; it was a long day. Shar stayed up and watched TV in the living room for a while after she had helped you to successfully nurse Connor for a few minutes. Chris had only gone to brush his teeth and pee after holding Connor to allow you to do the same first. Once he came back to the bedroom, you were already out with Little Man cuddled in a ball on his belly atop your bra clad chest, your hand over his back.

Chris's heart swelled... everything was so perfect.

He climbed into the bed gently and nestled up against you. On his elbow, he pulled the covers up over Connor's back and kissed his plump little cheek, "I love you, son."

He then kissed your forehead, "I love you, baby. You were amazing today."

He laid down and nuzzled against your cheek. He stroked the baby's hand gingerly that laid on your chest and Connor lifted it, stretching it open. Chris put his pinky against his tiny palm and Connor gripped it tightly.

Chris smiled softly and rested his hand on your chest, before closing his eyes and drifting off. _'Everything is so perfect.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UGH! Wow. My life is complete. This... so beautiful. This is probably the most satisfying chapter I've written to date.
> 
> Please let me know what you think. I love hearing from you all. And this was a big event; how could you not comment? LOL
> 
> Love you guys. You are all so awesome for coming with me this far. Seriously, I love you.
> 
> XOXO


	87. Full Circle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> He climbed into the bed gently and nestled up against you. On his elbow, he pulled the covers up over Connor's back and kissed his plump little cheek, "I love you, son."
> 
> He then kissed your forehead, "I love you, baby. You were amazing today."
> 
> He laid down and nuzzled against your cheek. He stroked the baby's hand gingerly that laid on your chest and Connor lifted it, stretching it open. Chris put his pinky against his tiny palm and Connor gripped it tightly.
> 
> Chris smiled softly and rested his hand on your chest, before closing his eyes and drifting off. _'Everything is so perfect.'_

You had chosen to quit your job to stay home with Connor once he was born and only a week after his arrival, it was Christmas Eve. The entire group, which now included "Gramma" Shirley by default, gathered at Tony and Pepper's along with nearly everyone who worked for them. There was a full bar, obviously. There was also a catered Christmas dinner buffet.

After mingling with Nat, Shirley and Pepper, you left them to find Chris. He was standing at the edge of the party area, talking to Thor and Sam. He had a beer in one hand, gesturing with it as he talked. He had a sleeping Connor cradled on his other forearm, against his ribs.

Connor was on his tummy, his small limbs hanging down over either side of Chris's arm. His tiny head was turned to the side and cupped in Chris's hand, smooshing his chubby cheek a bit. He was dressed in red footie pajamas with white fluffy trim and details making it looking a lot like Santa's suit. He was also wearing an itty bitty Santa hat.

You guessed the rumbling of Chris's voice through his body is what was keeping the little guy asleep through the noise of the crowd. His voice had always calmed Connor while in your belly, after an exchange of communication in the form of a kick or two, of course.

You put your hand to the small of Chris's back once you reached him.

He turned at your touch and wrinkled up his forehead, "Oh, hey, baby." He kissed your lips, grinning. He was so happy to be a dad. He often couldn't wipe that smile off his face. It always made you happy to see it.

"Has he woken up at all?"

He shook his head as Sam and Thor watched your exchage, "Nope. Happy as a passed out clam."

You gently rubbed Chris's back, "Why are you always carrying him like a football?" You giggled.

"He likes it.", he offered, matter of fact. Sam and Thor smiled.

You huffed, "Really? How do you know that?"

He raised his eyebrows and titled his head, lifting Connor slightly, "Do you see him complaining?"

Sam and Thor chuckled.

You chortled, smiling softly, "Fair enough." You reached for Connor and lifted him from Chris's arm as the infant started making little grunting and whimpering noises at being disturbed. "I know, sweet boy.", you cooed.

"Hey... where you taking him?", Chris pouted slightly.

"He's already slept through a feeding, honey. He needs to eat. He probably could use a change too." You positioned your son against your chest, his forehead head against your neck.

Chris pressed his mouth into a line in reluctance, "Okay, little mama. Don't be too long." He kissed your lips quickly, a hand to your back, "I'll miss you both." He put a hand over yours on Connor's back and leaned over to kiss his head.

Christmas was wonderful that year. You finally got to spend it with someone you were in love with... and received a tiny gift that was born from that love. Sebastian's small Christmas tree had earned a traditional place on the fireplace mantle in the living room during the holidays to come. You still teared up anytime you looked at it for longer than a glance. "I miss you so much.", you would whisper, often picturing what life might be like if he had never left your side.

Almost two years later, you had really gotten used to this 'stay at home mom' thing. You did random work for Pepper at home whenever you could; it was nice to still have some interaction with the outside world each day whenever you couldn't get to library story time or didn't have any play dates with the neighboring mothers. You were in love with your life and madly in love with the two most amazing men in your life; your husband and your son.

One summer evening, you and Chris had gone on a date while Nat and Bruce babysat Connor at your house. They were all in the kitchen when you returned.

Bruce was doing up the dinner dishes as Nat sat on the floor and played with Connor, allowing him to run around with a chocolate sandwich cookie. He was making a complete mess of himself, the few toys they were playing with and the walls around the kitchen and the island with his little hands.

Connor was squatted down playing with a toy along with Nat, when the front door opened. Connor looked up at her, surprised at the noise. She asked him in an excited tone, her eyes wide, gasping first, "What's that?"

"Ma-ma-" He then heard Chris's voice as the door shut. "Dah-dee!" He straightened and toddled as fast as he could towards the front door, cookie still in hand as Nat got up quickly and followed him.

Chris had just entered the dining room on the way to the kitchen ahead of you when he met up with Connor, "Heyyy, buddy!" Chris bent over and swiftly swooped the boy up in his arms, curling him against his face and pretending to eat his belly loudly as the child giggled and shrieked. Connor was pushing at one side of Chris's face with both his hands, leaving a bit of cookie mess on his father as well.

You kissed Connor's head and said low to Chris as you wiped smeared cookie off his cheek with your thumb, "You're all chocolaty now, babe."

He quirked an eyebrow, "Mm, just how you like me." He winked, leaned over and kissed your lips quickly, leaving you smiling, before resuming his assault on his son's ticklish belly.

"Nat, why are you letting him run around the house with cookies?", you inquired as you all headed into the kitchen. "Hey, Bruce.", you smiled and he greeted you in return while loading dishes.

"Because,", she stopped and grinned, "he wanted more, but didn't wanna stay in his high chair."

"How many has he had?", your eyes were wide, looking at the dark brown smudges that spotted the kitchen walls about two feet from the ground.

"Like, three maybe.", she answered.

"Maybe? You don't know how many? And this...", you looked around again, gesturing.

She scoffed, "Chill, mom. I'll clean it up."

Bruce looked at Nat, smirking, "I told you she wouldn't appreciate it."

Nat sneered at him playfully.

Chris put down Connor, hunched over quickly and jutted out his hands, wiggling the fingers of his clawed hands while he exclaimed, "I'm gonna get ya!"

Connor shrieked with laughter and turned to run, but lost his balance and plopped down on his diaper-clad bottom. He caught himself against the floor with the hand that was holding what little was left of his cookie, which broke into pieces. "Uh-oh. Kee-kee.", he looked up at Chris, bewildered.

Chris chuckled and crouched next to him pick up the pieces, "It's okay, Little Man, we'll get you another one."

You turned, "Chris, if you're getting him all hyper with playing and feeding him another cookie this late, you get to put him to bed tonight."

Chris stood to take the cookie pieces he had cupped in his hand to the trash, huffing out a quiet laugh, "Deal." He then got the broom and dust pan to get the cookie crumbs off the floor. Nat had returned from getting a spray bottle and rag. She started to clean up the spots on the kitchen walls and furniture as you talked to Bruce about the movie you and Chris had gone to see before dinner.

Connor had intently watched Chris moving around for a beat before shoving his bottom up in the air to stand. He then walked up behind you near the island, placing his hand on the back of your leg to steady himself. "Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma...", he babbled quietly, barely reaching the bottom of your butt with his other hand and patting it in time with his syllables.

You addressed Chris as he dumped the crumbs in the trash, "Do you see what you're teaching him?" You all chuckled as you turned and picked up Connor, beaming, "Hi, my baby boy." You propped him on your hip and assaulted his chubby cheek with a litany of humming kisses. Connor grabbed your face, giggling loudly.

Chris came to you and handed Connor another cookie, then kissed his head. "I have no idea what you're talking about...", he smacked your ass and squeezed it, leaning closer to you and started talking softly near your ear, his facial hair and breath tickling you, "Sexy little ma-ma-ma-ma..." You giggled and pulled up your shoulder before he kissed your ear quickly, pulling back. "And now you're all chocolaty, sweetheart.", he chuckled, wiping his thumb over a smear on your chin, then kissing your forehead.

He took Connor from you gently, who was now happily gnawing on his new cookie, "Come on, dude, let's go play in the back yard for a bit before bath." He continued as he headed for the back door, "That way we don't make anymore cookie mess in mama's house."

You smiled watching them. God, your heart was so full.

Once Bruce and Nat were done cleaning what had gotten messy on their shift, they got ready to leave.

Chris had wiped Connor's hands and face after coming back in so he wouldn't get anything or anyone else soiled again. He set down Connor once he reached the living room. You were hugging Nat when Connor walked to her and held onto her leg with both hands, looking up at her, "Ah-Na."

She pulled back and bent down to pick him up, "You wanna say g'bye to Aunt Nat?" She hugged him to her while he was distracted by playing with her necklace. She kissed his head, "Love you, little dude." She handed Connor to you and hugged Chris.

Bruce said good-bye, gave hugs to you all and they headed home as Chris took Connor to get ready for bed.

Once Connor was in bed and asleep, Chris joined you on the couch, while you watched TV in the living room.

You looked over at Chris sitting on your couch a slight bit away from you. You had one foot pulled up on the couch, your chin resting on your hands on top of your knee. His face was glowing in the light of the TV in the dark as he stared at it, beer in one hand between his relaxed legs, which he sipped from every few minutes. You felt the knot coming up in your stomach. _'How am I going to say it?'_ , you thought to yourself, feeling your breath quicken.

"I'm pregnant.", you blurted out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AH. MAH. GAHD.
> 
> Another behbeh?! What do you think it's gonna be this time? Boy or girl? What would you want the name to be?
> 
> Baby Connor and daddy Chris are just too much. My ovaries are melting.
> 
> Also, this chapter is called 'Full Circle' cuz-- well, just go back and read the first two paragraphs of chapter one, lol.
> 
> Let me know what you think!
> 
> Thanks for the comments and kudos! Love you guys!


	88. Crossover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFRESHER:
> 
> You looked over at Chris sitting on your couch a slight bit away from you. You had one foot pulled up on the couch, your chin resting on your hands on top of your knee. His face was glowing in the light of the TV in the dark as he stared at it, beer in one hand between his relaxed legs, which he sipped from every few minutes. You felt the knot coming up in your stomach. 'How am I going to say it?', you thought to yourself, feeling your breath quicken.
> 
> "I'm pregnant.", you blurted out.

You tried to open your eyes, but you felt so exhausted and disoriented that it took an overwhelming amount of time and effort to succeed. When you finally opened them, you were laying in the bed of a hospital room, the sun filtering in through the window blinds. You didn't remember anything about going to a hospital.

Panic set in instantly, paralyzing you with fear. Your heart rate increased, which was reflected in the sound of the monitor next to your bed. You swallowed and it felt like razor blades going down. You felt so weak.

Your bleary eyes shifted to your left when you heard Chris's quiet voice, strained with emotion, "Oh my God." He was sitting in a chair next to your bed and took your hand in both his gingerly, "Hey, sweetheart."

You blinked a few times in an attempt to clear your vision a bit more. You could see that he was tearing up, his brows pulled up in the center.

"What-", your voice came out in a whispered croak, you coughed, your throat was so fucking dry. He brought a cup of water with a straw from the bedside table to your lips and you took a sip, barely nodding in appreciation, then he put it back. Your voice still didn't sound much better, barely above a whisper; hoarse. You had to push your breath hard to get anything out, "What... happened?"

Chris's face twisted, "You were in a car accident. You fell into a coma."

You could only whisper now. You were shaking and blinking quickly, shock taking over, "What?"

"You went into a coma a month ago, after a car accident. You just started breathing on your own last week.", he offered.

 _'I don't remember any car accide- My babies...'_ , you thought.

You whispered again, "Connor. The baby." Your right hand went to your belly, shakily and you noticed your hand and arm were more gaunt than you remembered them being.

Chris's brows furrowed and in the same moment, your attention was drawn to the doorway to your other side by the movement of someone entering the room and stopping suddenly.

Sebastian.

(TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 2)


	89. Author's Note

Chapter 1 of Part 2 of this series has been posted!

<http://archiveofourown.org/works/8345455/chapters/19118842>

Thank you all for coming this far! I have THEE most incredible readers!

Much love!  
XOXO

Enjoy!


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